Rating: If you watch the show you can read it.
Summary: B/A Buffy goes to Angel for comfort after killing Ted
Spoilers: Ted S2
Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive
Disclaimer: Not mine. Can I have Angel? Please?
Feedback: I crave it. It's like cigarettes, you know...just when I think I've quit
Notes: I felt this story just had to be written. After all, would you go to school or Angel after a traumatic event like that? No contest IMHO.

An urgent knocking on his front door pulled Angel from a deep sleep. Glancing over at the clock he discovered that it was 09:30 and cursed under his breath in Gaelic as he rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of black jeans before going to answer it. With no thought but to get rid of whoever it was as quickly as possible so that he could go back to dreaming of Buffy, Angel unlocked the door.

All thoughts of going back to sleep vanished as the door swung open to reveal the object of his fantasies but she didn't look the way she did in his dreams. Buffy's hair was tangled and unbrushed, her clothes baggy and unflattering and her eyes were red with the tears that still flowed freely down her face. Angel took in all this in an instant and exclaimed in alarm, "Dear God! Buffy, What is it? What's happened?"

Buffy opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out but a choked sob and after a moment she just threw herself into his arms and cried as if her heart would break.

Recognizing that now was not the time to be asking questions, Angel picked her up in his arms, kicked the door closed and carried her over to an armchair, where he sat down with her in his lap.

Angel held Buffy tightly as she cried against his shoulder. Her warm tears trickled down the cold skin of his bare chest and he felt as if the branded him as hers for all time. The trust she had shown in coming her humbled him to the depths of his soul. She was as weak as he had ever seen her and she had come to him in her hour of need - not her Watcher, not her friends but him. She trusted him to give her support and comfort, to lend her his strength when she had none of her own and Angel silently vowed that he wouldn't fail her. Unconsciously he tightened his arms around her and rested his cheek on top of her golden head in a futile attempt to shield her from the world that she was destined to fight.

Buffy cried for a long time and Angel just held her, rocking her in his arms as though she were a child and murmuring soothing nonsense into her hair while his dead heart ached at her pain.

Eventually the tears stopped and she lay quietly against him, exhausted by the emotional storm. Neither of them spoke and Buffy didn't lift her head from its resting-place on Angel's shoulder. She ran her hand over his smooth chest, first wiping away the tears that she had left there and then absently stroking his cool, soft skin, enjoying the contrast between it and the hardness of the muscle beneath, her hand coming to rest over his unbeating heart.

Angel shuddered and tried to control his reaction to the feel of her hot little hands on him, reminding himself that now was not the time to be having thoughts of that nature. He covered her small hand with his large one to stop the delightfully tormenting movements and asked softly, "Do you think you can tell me what's upset you now?"

Buffy stiffened and lifted her head to meet his gaze. Angel's chocolate brown eyes were filled with tenderness and concern and her eyes filled with tears again because she knew that she didn't deserve to have any one care about her after what she'd done. She suppressed a cowardly impulse not to tell him and blurted out quickly, before she could change her mind, "I, I killed him!" As she spoke the tears overflowed again and she looked away, afraid that she would see disappointment in his eyes if she looked at him. She knew that he wouldn't judge her for what she'd done but somehow the thought of his disappointment was harder to bear than outright condemnation from anyone else."Killed who, Buffy?" he asked gently, "What happened?"

"Ted. I killed Ted." Buffy kept her eyes fixed on Angel's chest as she went on, "I...I came home from patrol last night and climbed in the window the way I usually do and...he was there. Ted was in my bedroom. He...he had my diary and he wouldn't give it back. When I tried to take it... he hit me. I...I lost my temper and I hit him back - hard. He fell down the stairs. Now he's dead and it's all my fault!"

Angel's eyes glowed golden with rage at the thought of Ted daring to hit Buffy but he kept his voice low and soothing as he told her, "It was an accident, Baby, I know you never meant to hurt him."

Buffy's head came up and she said fiercely, "I'm the Slayer, I had no right! I knew I was far stronger than him but I hit him any way."

"He had no right to hit you either but he did!" snarled Angel and Buffy was startled by the fury that echoed in his voice and by the fact that he slipped into full game face as he spoke. It suddenly occurred to her that Angel wasn't the least bit disappointed in her but he was murderously angry with Ted. Before Buffy had fully come to terms with that astonishing realization, Angel spoke again in a far gentler tone, "Buffy, he attacked you. In those circumstances your instinct would be to fight back, to defend yourself. That's all you were doing. If he hadn't fallen downstairs, nothing you did would have caused him any serious or lasting harm." It wasn't a question but Buffy shook her head anyway. "You see. It was an accident. You didn't do anything wrong, Buffy. I know its hard but try not to beat yourself up over this too much."

"But I'm supposed to protect people, Angel, no matter how much I dislike them, that's my job." She hung her head in shame and said quietly, "I feel like I punished Ted because I didn't like him dating my mom." "Buffy, no!" Angel placed his finger under her chin and gently raised her head until she was looking at him, "You didn't want this to happen - it's not your fault. And you were right about Ted, he couldn't be trusted." As he finished speaking, Angel lowered his head and gently brushed his lips over hers. Buffy instantly forgot what she had been going to say and instead reached up to run her fingers over the harsh ridges of his face and then traced the same path with her lips. Until that moment Angel hadn't even been aware that his face had changed and, slightly embarrassed by his lack of control, he resumed his human appearance before catching her mouth in a long deep kiss. Buffy kissed him back enthusiastically and for the first time since the fight with Ted she really believed that everything might work out.

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