~~~

Angel paced the small waiting room like a caged panther, unable to settle for even a moment. It was nearly three hours since the doctors had carried Buffy away from him and not being able to be with her or help in any way while she was in trouble was driving him crazy.

The others sat watching him prowl, taking it in turns to go for the sludge that the hospital called coffee. While they waited they had filled him in on the events of the past six months and his soul ached with pain and guilt at what his love had endured. At the same time there was a touch of awe that, despite his dark past, the demon that was a integral part of him and the flawed, imperfect nature of his existance, there was something inside him that, though he was unable to see it, could inspire such deep and abiding love in someone as special as Buffy.

A sound from outside froze him in his tracks and he swung to face the door like a predator sensing its prey. Following his lead the others also looked round and a moment later, the door opened and an exhausted-looking doctor stepped in.

"Is one of you Rupert Giles?"

"Er…yes…yes, I am."

The doctor held out his hand and Giles shook it automatically. "I'm Dr. Burns, Miss Summers had you listed as her emergency contact and guardian."

They gathered around him anxiously as Giles asked the question that was foremost on everyone's mind, "How is she, doctor?"

His face grave, Dr Burns shook his head slightly and said, "Not good I'm afraid. Buffy is suffering from severe malnutrition and dehydration. Just after being admitted she awoke and became very agitated before going into cardiac arrest. We've managed to restart her heart but her pulse is dangerously weak and since then she's slipped into a coma. I'm afraid that there's nothing more we can do now except wait and pray that she comes out of it. She must be very strong, I'm at a loss to explain how she's even alive but in all honesty there's little chance that she'll recover.

He paused for a moment to give his words time to sink in and then added gently, "She was carrying a request that she not be put on life-support but since, legally, she's still a minor, that decision is yours."

As Giles frowned, torn between his own instinctive agreement and Buffy's wishes, the doctor held out a small, folded piece of paper, saying as he did so, "This was attached to her request, it doesn't seem to make any sense but maybe it means something to you."

Giles looked at it for a second before taking it reluctantly, some instinct warning him that he wouldn't like what he read. For a moment he looked down at his name, written in Buffy's familiar script, before unfolding it and reading the single line written within. His vision blurred as tears filled his eyes and with a shaking hand he turned to show it to Angel and the others. As soon as he had read it, Angel's eyes met his and he nodded reluctantly. Turning back to the doctor, Giles said, almost inaudibly, "Do as she asked – no life-support."

Suppressing his curiosity about the meaning of the cryptic note and it's effect on it's intended readers, Dr Burns nodded and decided not to argue, sensing that it would be futile.

Still clutching Buffy's note in her hand, Willow lifted her head from where she was crying against Oz's shoulder and asked brokenly, "W…when Buffy woke up earlier…did…did she say anything – anything at all?"

"Nothing coherent I'm afraid," Burns told her regretfully, "she kept calling out for 'her Angel' and became quite frantic when she couldn't find one."

What sounded like a muffled growl made him jump and he turned just in time to see a swirl of black disappear through the doors faster than he would have believed possible.

"Uh…what was that?" he asked slightly nervously, suddenly remembering all the strange deaths and injuries he had worked on during the three years he had been at Sunnydale hospital.

A faint suggestion of a smile touched Cordelia's lips and she said simply, "That was the Angel."

Seeing Burns' confused expression, Oz took pity on him and explained, "It's his name – Angel."

"Maybe I should have someone go after him," he said as understanding dawned, "This is a large hospital, he'll probably have difficulty finding her."

"It's all right," said Giles as Willow, Oz & Cordelia all shook their heads. "If you could just take us to Buffy I'm quite sure that Angel will already be with her."

"If you say so," he agreed, reflecting silently that someone would find Angel wondering around lost, and would direct him back to where he needed to be, "If you'd like to follow me I'll show you to Buffy's room."

Oz reached for Willow's hand as they fell in step behind him and as she took it a piece of paper fluttered to the ground.

It read simply *'and the next one's called'*.

~~~

To Dr. Burns' surprise, when he pushed open the door to Buffy's room it was to discover a large man dressed entirely in black seated in an uncomfortable plastic chair by her side. The fragile-looking hand of the small blonde was clasped in both his and he was murmuring softly to her, his voice a loving rumble that reminded those who heard it of the of some great cat purring lovingly to its mate.

Angel seemed completely unaware that there was anyone else in the room as he focused on Buffy but an air of protective menace emanated from him, a silent warning that anyone who wished her harm would have to go though him to do it.

Though he paid no attention to her, the nurse checking Buffy's vital signs had clearly recognised that he could be dangerous and every few seconds she darted a wary glance in his direction before continuing her work. When the doctor spoke to her she jumped and dropped the clipboard she had been holding, blushing when he frowned disapprovingly at her.

The others hardly noticed the by-play as they moved forwards as one to stand around the bed. The sight of Buffy, who had always been so strong, so *alive* , lying so still and looking so frail, her face nearly as pale as the sheets on which she lay, shook them to the core. The doctor's earlier words about her chances, though shocking, had been filtered though the certain knowledge that there were things about Buffy that he could not possibly either know or understand and it was only now that their full impact hit home. The steady beeping of the machines and the almost imperceptible rise and fall of her chest were the only evidence that she was alive at all and for the first time they realised that they might have been too late - that she might die even though Angel had returned.

"If you should have any questions the nurses station is outside and to the left." Dr Burns told them, and then he and the nurse quietly left them alone with their friend.

For a long time they stood and watched her, afraid to look away lest that somehow be the trigger that ended her life. The only sounds that could be heard in the room were the electronic noises of the machines and the continued rumble of Angel's voice as he spoke to her, too quietly for anyone to distinguish his words.

At last Willow said tearfully, her eyes never leaving Buffy's face, "I don't understand why this happened. The spell was supposed to draw on Angel's connection to Buffy and the love between them; it shouldn't have taken anything directly from either of them so why did she collapse? What did we do wrong?"

"We didn't do anything wrong, Willow," Giles told her, his tone both sympathetic and sad, "The spell performed exactly as it should have but what Buffy did far surpassed its intended boundaries."

Willow's face twisted in confusion but before she could speak Cordelia spoke for all of them, "Huh?"

"The spell we cast was intended to simply retrieve Angel and heal his wounds," Giles explained, taking of his glasses and absently beginning to clean them as he slipped automatically into 'lecture mode'. "There was no element of vengeance involved in the basic spell, indeed, such an element would be virtually impossible to incorporate due to the immense power that it would require from the link in order to harm demons within their own dimension from this one."

Oz looked thoughtful and asked slowly, "So you're saying that when those demons…melted…the power for that didn't come from the spell it came from…"

"Buffy." Giles confirmed. "Her emotional reaction to the sight of what was being done to Angel appears to have been so strong that she was able to transmit her desire to protect and punish through the link." He shook his head in awe, "The emotional bond between the two of them is…quite unique. Their devotion to one another made this possible but it would still have required tremendous strength, both mental and physical, all of which had to come directly from Buffy. Such a drain would have been risky even if she had been in peak condition but in her dangerously weakened state it must have drained the last of her reserves and pushed her body – and possibly her mind as well – beyond the limits of what she could endure."

The tensing of Angel's shoulders and a slight break in his voice were the only sign that he had heard Giles' words but, without taking his eyes off Buffy, his head tilted to hear the reply when Cordelia asked sadly, "Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Nothing except what Angel's doing already; talking to her, letting her know that we love her and don't want to lose her. Other than that all we can do is wait…and pray that she has the strength and the desire to come back to us."

~~~

They waited for hours, taking it in turns to fetch the coffee and to sit by her side. Angel remained where he was, holding her hand tightly in his as he continued his loving monologue. The others mostly remained silent, acknowledging that if they hadn't been enough to make her want to live while she was conscious, they had little chance of reaching her now. They all knew that if anyone were to reach her it would be Angel; the voice of the man she loved was the only thing in the world that could inspire Buffy to return from the darkness to which she had retreated. So they stood guard, watching over her; sometimes quietly reminiscing about the times, both good and bad, that they had spent together as they tried not to think what their lives would be like without her.

Periodically the nurse would come by on her rounds and once a doctor stopped by and asked pointed questions in an almost accusing tone about how it was that she had been allowed to get into such a weakened condition, if anyone had ever tried to get her treated for anorexia or depression and if they knew how she had come by the numerous shallow cuts on her body – cuts that, had he but known it, would have been deep gashes on anyone without Buffy's remarkable healing abilities.

Angel knew nothing except Buffy, his very being pulsed in time with rhythm of her heart and lungs. The electronic beep of the machines monitoring her life were nothing but background noise, almost inaudible compared with the soft sigh of her breathing that echoed in his ears, reassuring him that she hadn't left him alone.

He nearly snarled when someone touched him on the shoulder, resenting anything that drew his attention away from her but, instinctively recognising Giles, he swallowed the impulse and asked curtly, without taking his eyes of Buffy, "What is it?"

Giles swallowed, knowing that what he was about to say would not be well received but he had been pacing back and forth between the window and the bed for some time now and the situation was becoming urgent.

"The sun's going to rise soon, Angel. You have to get to shelter, there are too many windows in this room for you to avoid the daylight."

Angel's eyes flashed yellow as he impaled Giles on an angry glare before returning his gaze to Buffy, "I'm not leaving." he said flatly, though he knew deep down that what Giles said was true. The room was built on the corner of the hospital and the large windows in two of the walls meant that light came in not only from the East but the South as well. There was nowhere that he could hide as the blinds were ill fitting and there was no way to guarantee that they remained closed with doctors and nurses coming in and out of the room but even so, he refused to leave for fear that Buffy's tenuous hold on life should fade away in his absence.

The others added their voices to Giles in urging him to leave but it wasn't until Cordelia exploded that he gave way to the inevitable.

"Dammit Angel! What do you think is going to happen if Buffy wakes up and finds a large pile of dust resting devotedly by her bed? If you aren't alive then it won't *matter* if she wakes up or not because either way she'll die! Were you even listening when we told you about the last few months?"

His face twisted with anguish, Angel looked up at her for a long moment and then nodded. Getting to his feet with great reluctance he gently stroked Buffy's lank, blonde hair before bending down to press a whisper soft kiss against her thin, pale cheek and murmur softly, "Don't leave me, beloved, I'll be back tonight."

Slowly he straitened and turned to look pleadingly at the others.

Correctly interpreting the silent request Giles said quietly, "We'll call you the moment anything changes."

Unable to speak, Angel nodded his thanks and turned to leave. Just as he reached the door he was halted by Giles voice, "Wait!" Turning he saw that Giles had opened the locker containing Buffy's things and was rummaging in the pockets of her jacket – his jacket. With a sound of triumph, Giles held out a key. When Angel made no move to take it he explained, "Buffy's been staying at your apartment. She'd want you to go there and I have the number so if there's any news I can call you."

"Thank you," he said hoarsely as he took the key and, with a final lingering glance at Buffy, he turned and left the room. The last thing he heard was Willow saying, "Uh, Giles… He didn't need that key, we kinda broke the lock getting in to find those drawings for the spell…"

~~~

The first light of dawn was just touching the horizon as Angel slipped down through a manhole just outside the hospital and made his way along the familiar tunnels to his old apartment.

His shoulders bowed by grief and exhaustion, Angel pushed open the broken door to the apartment and entered without looking round. Closing the door behind him he turned to face the room and stopped in surprise.

He didn't know what he had expected when Giles had told him that Buffy had been living there but it wasn't what he saw. He had been gone for months yet the apartment looked as though he had stepped out only a few minutes before. Everything remained where he had left it but there was no dust and the glass case containing his statue of Buddha gleamed as though it had been recently polished.

Here and there he could see small signs of Buffy's presence; her hairbrush on the desk, a T-shirt thrown over the chair but they were clearly temporary and it was obvious that everything of his had been lovingly preserved exactly as he had left it. The bedroom was the same; only a familiar pink pig, sitting amongst the rumpled sheets and a large duffle bag full of clothes showed that she had been there at all.

Yet the sweet fragrance that was uniquely hers permeated the air and Angel moved forwards to sit on the edge of the bed where the scent was strongest, savouring the sense of being close to her that it gave him. Without thinking about it he picked up the little toy pig and lay down on his side, holding it tightly in both hands as he silently cursed his nature for making it impossible for him to stay with her throughout the daylight hours. His head knew that Giles and the others were with her and would call him if there was even the slightest change but his heart insisted that he should be with her and twisted painfully inside him at the memory of how small and frail she had looked as she lay in the hospital bed surrounded by monitors.

Despite his desire to stay awake in case Giles called, the strain and trauma of everything that had happened had taken their toll on him and his eyes drifted closed as sleep arrived to claim him…

~~~

Angel was dreaming. He knew that was the only explanation for the fact that he was standing in the centre of a large meadow with the sun shining above him and doing nothing more than warming his face. The problem was that it didn't feel like a dream, in fact, if Buffy had been with him instead of fighting for her life in a hospital bed, it would have felt like his idea of heaven.

"But she is with you." A familiar voice said from behind him, "no matter how far apart, the two of you are always together."

Angel's shoulders tensed and he turned slowly, afraid to believe what his ears were telling him. There, standing before him with a smile on her face, was Jenny Calendar.

"Hello, Angel," she said, as if they were simply old acquaintances who had bumped into each other unexpectedly, instead of murderer and victim.

"You are not my murderer, Angel," said Jenny in answer to his dark thoughts, "it was the demon who took my life and this is a place that the soulless and the truly evil may never enter - to them, it appears quite different."

At her words, Angel suddenly realised that the demon he had carried within him for so long was gone. For the first time in a hundred years, he was alone in his own mind, except... There was something calling to him, a sirens song that sounded within him, urging him to follow until he found its source. There was nothing in the world that he wanted to do more but with effort he turned his attention back to Jenny and asked, "Where are we? Am I dead?"

She shook her head, "We are in the world between realms. Where those whose souls have unbreakable ties or unfinished business on Earth come to wait. You are alive but what you seek is here."

"What I seek…? Buffy! Buffy's here? You mean she's…dead?"

"Not yet, but her will to return is gone. Without that…she will soon die. You must heal each other and I am here to aid you in that purpose."

"How can I find her?"

"You know how. Your souls cry out to one another, simply follow the call and you will find her."

"Thank you," Angel said sincerely, before closing his eyes and turning his vision inwards to focus on the location of the call within him. When he had the direction fixed in his mind he opened his eyes once more and was disoriented to discover that the scenery around him had changed. Instead of the meadow he was standing on the edge of a cliff looking out over the ocean as the early light of dawn broke over the horizon, its reflection shimmering on the waves.

Soft laughter alerted him to the fact that Jenny was still with him and as he looked questioningly at her she explained, "This is not a physical realm, Angel, what we think, is."

Angel hardly heard her; his attention was suddenly riveted to the small, blonde figure that was standing further down on the very edge of the cliff at the tip of the peninsular, looking out at the sea.

"Buffy!" he breathed, the name almost a prayer, before he started to run towards her.

As he drew nearer to her she turned to face him and his steps slowed. Even here, she looked ill and fragile. Her eyes were huge and tormented in her gaunt face. She had gasped his name at the sight of him and for a moment, life flooded her features before draining away once more, leaving behind nothing but pain as the guilt once again surged through her.

Angel too, was silent. The sight of her reminding of everything that he had done to cause her pain and guilt choked the words of love that he was longing to say.

"I'm so sorry!" they said together in once voice.

"It wasn't your fault, if I hadn't…"

"You didn't do anything wrong, I shouldn't have…"

Silence reigned once more, each believed that they were to blame for all that pain that the other had endured. No words were going to convince them otherwise and the guilt they felt denied them the right to speak of the love between them.

Neither of them even noticed Jenny's approach until she gave an exasperated sigh and reached out to lay the palm of one hand over each of their hearts, saying as she did so, "See though each others hearts!"

A sudden bolt of lightening split the clear sky and Buffy and Angel each felt a violent wrench as their worlds shifted.

Each of them knew who they were but all at once Buffy was also Angel and Angel was also Buffy and they could suddenly *feel* how the other felt.

It was like looking in an emotional mirror; the same black worm of self-hatred dwelled within each of them, eating away at their souls, tainting their every thought and feeling with the guilt of what they believed they had done.

And yet, as they saw their crimes through the others eyes, there was no blame, no hatred, only sorrow for the pain that they had endured and the purest, most unshakeable love that either of them had ever imagined.

As suddenly as it had begun, the transfer ended. Without a word, Angel held out his arms to Buffy and she fell into them with a sob. The world around them faded into the background and they knew nothing but each other as they said together, just before their lips met, "I love you."

When the kiss finally ended Buffy's appearance had changed, the happiness she felt translating into a body that was positively glowing with health. Together they turned to face Jenny, still holding each other tightly.

Buffy gasped as she realised who it was standing before them and she said sadly, "I'm so sorry for the way I treated you. All you ever did was try to help us and I…"

"No, Buffy," Jenny interrupted gently, "You had the right to be angry. Let the guilt go now; all is forgiven among true friends. Neither of you was to blame for my death and I hope it gives you peace to know that I am happy here and that I watch over you when I can."

Reluctantly stepping away from Angel's side, Buffy enfolded her in a warm hug, "Thank you!" she said fervently.

"You're welcome," she said with a smile, "Now, I imagine that the two of you have a great deal to talk about and want to be alone together, I'll come back and say goodbye before you leave."

Buffy and Angel looked at each other and smiled but they didn't dispute her assumption, they simply looked at her with gratitude and then mild surprise as she started to fade from view.

Her final words just before she vanished were, "You should leave here by sunset, Buffy's body is weak and if you delay too long then she may not be able to return."

They nodded, accepting the seriousness of her warning, and the next moment she was gone.

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