RATING: You watch it?; You can read it.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine; don't sue.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask and ye shall receive.
FEEDBACK: I crave it! It's like cigarettes, ya know? Just when I think I've quit.
SPOILERS: Just to be safe say everything up to 'Revelations'.
NOTES: Angel's soul is permanent.
NOTES2: If you are a fan of Giles, Joyce, Willow or Xander, I wouldn't recommend reading this!
SUMMARY: Buffy's friends find out that Angel is back from Hell and they don't take the news well.

Buffy looked at the people she cared for in disbelief. They stood side by side before her; an implacable wall of hatred she had never imagined even in her worst nightmares.

"You're saying that, even though the curse can never be broken, I have to choose between you and Angel?" she asked, and in her voice was a pained plea for someone to tell her that she had misunderstood. Her gaze moved down the line from Giles to her mother and on to Xander, Willow, Cordelia & Oz. One by one, they nodded.

"It's not natural for a Slayer to love a vampire - it's not natural for anyone to love a vampire but particularly not the Slayer." Giles explained, sounding as though what he was saying was the most reasonable thing in the world, "Nothing but pain can come of it, you must see that after everything that's happened!"

"And this is your way of making me see it?" she demanded incredulously, "by telling me that if I want to keep your love & friendship I have to let you kill the man I love? And don't tell me that's not what you have in mind! Or do you expect me to believe that you're all clutching weapons because they look good with what you're wearing?"

"He's NOT a man!" Xander burst out furiously, "He's a monster! How can you still care about him after everything that he's done?"

"Because it wasn't him!"

"Oh, but it was," Willow told her sadly, "the demon is still within him and when he touches you then he does so with the same hands that broke Ms. Calendar's neck. How can you let him touch you when you know what those hands have done?"

"Because I love his soul! Angel is a man, a good man, and the demon is trapped forever, condemned to watch while he tries to make amends for evil that he was not responsible for!"

"Buffy, you're sleeping with a corpse!" her mother protested, "Don't you see how disgusting that is?"

"He's not 'a corpse' he's Angel, that's all that matters to me and if you want to harm him you're going to have to go through me to do it!"

"So you'd choose a demon over your friends - your family? You'd give up everything for him?" Giles asked harshly.

"If I must."

"Very well. As of this moment I resign from my post as your watcher. The support of the council shall be withdrawn and from this day onwards you shall receive no assistance of any kind. You are alone until you come to your senses. Are you quite certain that you don't wish to reconsider your position?"

Buffy's eyes were bright with tears that she refused to shed as she opened her mouth to reply but before she could speak, another voice rang out,

"Buffy, no!"

Ignoring the vicious glares of the others, Buffy hurried to Angel's side and slipped an arm around his waist. He accepted her support gratefully, as he was still weak from his experiences in hell and felt distinctly unsteady on his feet but he had been unable to just lie there and listen while she sacrificed everything because of him.

"Don't do this," he begged quietly, "Don't give up your friends because of me, I'm not worth it."

"And they are?" she questioned bitterly, "What kind of friends would ask - no, demand - that I make a choice like that? I'm not giving up anything, they are. This is all their doing, not mine. I'll always care about them but there was only ever one choice that I could make."

She stroked his cheek gently and asked with a sad smile, "Which love is real? The one that offers its life for my sake or the one that is used as a weapon? Would you really want me to choose their kind of love over yours when I know that I could never be happy without you? I'll miss them," she said, indicating the others with a wave of her hand, "or at least, I'll miss the people I thought they were, but I don't need them, not the way I need you."

Angel's face softened and he bent his head to kiss her. When their lips parted he said softly, "I love you."

"I know.it shows every time you look at me and in everything you do. And I love you the same way. No matter what, we stay together, right?"

He nodded, "Right."

Buffy turned to face the others; "We'll leave town as soon as Angel's fit enough to drive. I suggest that you arrange to get Kendra's replacement, whoever she may be, here before then. Now, I think you should leave. This is Angel's home and if you can't accept him then you have no business being here."

Everyone except Cordelia and Oz erupted angrily, all speaking at once as they tried to change her mind but she cut them off, her voice cold, "No! You told me to choose and I have, now you have to live with what you've just done." She could feel Angel sag against her and, unwilling to let them see his weakness she said harshly, "Get out, all of you! There's nothing more to be said."

Unwilling to risk a fight they knew they couldn't win, they reluctantly did as she ordered and retreated, muttering angrily amongst themselves about how she was going to regret her folly. Oz looked like he might stay but then Willow called his name and, with an apologetic look at Buffy, he followed her.

Only Cordelia remained and Buffy ignored her as she helped Angel to the sofa so that he could sit down. That done, she slumped down beside him, resting her head on his shoulder and as his arm went round her she asked wearily, "What do you want, Cordy?"

"I.uh.I want to apologise. We shouldn't have done that to you."

That got their attention and they both turned their heads to look up at her in surprise.

"You were right," she explained, "friendship shouldn't have conditions. It either is or it isn't, you showed me that. You accepted me as I am." she flushed slightly and looked away, ".despite the way I acted." She looked back with a slight shrug, "So.you're my friends and if there's anything I can do.?"

The tears that Buffy had been holding back since her 'friends' first gave her their ultimatum finally overflowed as she got to her feet and to give Cordelia a hug. "Thank you," she said brokenly, "you have no idea how much that means to me - to us."

The two girls held each other for a moment, then Angel struggled to his feet and Cordelia stepped back as Buffy hurried to his side. Even with her support he swayed a little unsteadily but his gaze was clear as he looked at Cordelia.

"Thank you for standing by Buffy," he said hoarsely, "and I'm so sorry for."

He broke of in surprise as she stepped towards him and reached up to kiss him gently on his cold cheek, saying as she did so, "Welcome home, Angel, it's good to have you back."

Then she stepped back, smiling though her eyes shone with tears and said briskly, "You two need to rest & I'm sure you want to be alone so I'll just get out of your hair. You just give me a call if you need anything, Okay?"

Before they could reply she turned and walked to the door, stopping as she reached it to look back at the two of them, standing side by side with their arms around each other. "You know," she said thoughtfully, "the only time I've ever seen either of you completely relaxed is when you're together. With everyone else it's like you don't believe they can handle the real you so you keep this wall up and they don't even realise it's there. I never realised before what a difference you make to each other, you're only half alive when you're apart. It's good to see you happy again."

"Thanks, Cordy," said Buffy sincerely.

"No problem. I'll see you later, don't let the others get you down."

An hour later, Buffy and Angel lay curled up together on the sofa. Buffy's face still bore the evidence of the tears she had cried over her friends' betrayal but her grief had been greatly lessened by Angel's loving presence and Cordelia's support and her expression was peaceful as rested against Angel's chest, enjoying the feel of his cool hand softly stroking her hair.

"I think that I've always underestimated Cordelia," she said thoughtfully, "Before today, if anyone had asked me who was the truest of my friends I would have said Willow, or Giles maybe, but she would have been the last person I would have thought of."

Angel nodded, "She's much stronger than she seems, she's just never really been tested before."

"It seems strange, after everything that we've been though, but I guess that this is the first real test that our friendship has faced. None of them ever hesitated when it came to physical danger; even though I knew they'd be upset it never occurred to me that they'd react so violently to this!"

"That's different," Angel said, "they all understand and support the necessity of your role as the Chosen One, this time you're going against their wishes."

"But I've done that before!" Buffy protested, "Why is this so different?"

"Have you? Have you ever done anything important that you knew they wouldn't want you to?"

A frown creased her brow as she though back over the past two years, "Only.only twice," she admitted at length. "When mom found out I was the Slayer and she forbade me to leave the house and when I ran away after." she trailed off, unwilling to mention Acathla.

After Angel's return they had talked for a long time about what had happened, knowing that they would be unable to move on together if they did not purge their souls of all of the guilt and remorse that haunted them but, though each now accepted that the other did not blame them for the tragedy that the events of Buffy's 17th birthday had set in motion, the pain was still to fresh, the wounds too raw, for them to discuss it lightly.

Angel kissed the top of her head in a gesture of understanding and she snuggled closer to him, tightening her arms around him as he pointed out, "So, your mother told you not to come back if you left, and they shut you out, without asking why you'd left, when you did?"

She nodded, her face sad as she finally recognised the pattern in their behaviour, "Cordelia didn't," she said suddenly, "when they were yelling at me for leaving she was trying to look at things from my point of view.I didn't appreciate it then because I thought her tactlessness was just making things worse but she was the only one who offered me any support."

"You see? People are usually very consistent in their behaviour - sometimes they change, more often they don't."

"Oh, God! I can't believe I didn't see this before! All this time," her voice broke and she forced herself to speak through the constriction in her chest, "all this time I thought they were my friends and now I find that they've been putting up with me on-on.sufferance!"

Angel's heart ached at the disillusionment in her voice and he said gently, "They do care about you, you know. They just."

"Don't care enough to accept me as I am." She interrupted bitterly.

"Aren't willing - or aren't able - to bend," he corrected. "For you, friendship is a total commitment; once you let someone close to you, you'll always be there for them, no matter what. And, because you see friendship that way, you expect others to as well but it takes a lot of strength to accept someone without question and most people don't have it. Even now, if Giles and the others ever needed your help, you'd go to them without a moments hesitation, wouldn't you?"

Buffy nodded, "I-I guess. They're my friends, I can't just.shut that off."

"You have no idea how rare and special you are, do you? To you, that's just the way it is; I didn't believe friendship like that existed until I met you - and found myself on the receiving end of it! You're Kipling's Thousandth Man - or woman."

Buffy twisted to look up at him, dislodging his hand from her hair as she sat up, and her brow creased in confusion, "Huh?" she queried.

"It's a poem," he explained, "'The Thousandth Man' by Rudyard Kipling,"

Buffy brushed an affectionate kiss against Angel's neck and rested her head on his shoulder, "Tell me," she requested.

Angel wrapped his arm around her, holding her close, and closed his eyes, savouring the feel of her against him as he recited from memory:

"One man in a thousand, Solomon says,
Will stick more close than a brother.
And it's worth while seeking him half of your days
If you find him before the other.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine depend
On what the world sees in you,
But the Thousandth Man will stand your friend
With the whole round world agin you.

'Tis neither promise nor prayer nor show
Will settle the finding for 'ee.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em go
By your looks, or your acts, or your glory.
But if he finds you and you find him,
The rest of the world don't matter;
For the Thousandth Man will sink or swim
With you in any water.

You can use his purse with no more talk
Than he uses yours for his spendings,
And laugh and meet in your daily walk
As thought there had been no lendings.
Nine hundred and ninety-nine of 'em call
For silver and gold in their dealings;
But the Thousandth Man he's worth 'em all,
Because you can show him your feelings.

His wrong's your wrong, and his right's your right,
In season or out of season.
Stand up and back it in all men's sight -
With that for your only reason!
Nine hundred and ninety-nine can't bide
The shame or mocking or laughter,
But the Thousandth Man will stand by your side
To the gallows-afoot - and after!"

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