Buffy walked down the street towards Angel's place. She had to do this now, otherwise she wouldn't have the guts to.

"Buffy!" she heard someone shout from behind her. She spun around to see Angel standing in front of a club just behind her.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"You want this finished?" he asked.

"You bet I do," Buffy growled.

"Let's get going then," he replied then ran into the club. Buffy took off after him, knocking over a sign that read 'Closed for Fumigation' that stood outside the club in the process.

Buffy walked down the stairs into the club. She looked around for Angel who was hiding in the shadows.

"I know you're there! And I know what you are," she said.

"Do you?" Angel asked from the shadows.

Buffy turned to his voice.

"I'm just an animal right?" he asked.

"You're not an animal. Animals I like,"

Angel came out of the shadows and growled at her, "Let's get it done!"

Buffy aimed her crossbow at him and he began to run. She shot at him, but missed. Angel jumped onto a pool table the jumped onto the catwalk above them. Buffy looked around for him but couldn't see him in the dark. Angel took the opportunity to swing down and kick her back onto a pool table. The crossbow flew from her hands. Buffy kicked herself up to standing and kicked Angel back into a wall. She dove for the crossbow and pointed it at him. He slowly got up and growled at her again. He morphed back into human form and Buffy dropped the bow slightly.

"Come on! Don't go soft on me now!" he said.

Buffy launched the bolt but it hit the bulletin board beside him instead.

"Little wide," Angel commented.

"Why?" she asked. She stood up, "Why didn't you just attack me when you had the chance? Was it a joke? To make me feel for you then…. I've killed a lot of vampires since I met you. I've never hated one before,"

"Feels good doesn't it? Feels simple,"

"I trusted you! And you attacked my friends!"

"Why not? I killed mine. I killed my family, and their friends, and their friend's children…. For a hundred years I offered an ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart,"

"What changed?" Buffy asked.

"Fed on a girl about your age…beautiful…dumb as a post…but a favorite among her clan,"

"Her clan?"

"Romany. Gypsies," Angel explained. "The elders conjured up the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul,"

"What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?" Buffy joked.

"When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but it doesn’t take your soul. That's gone. No conscience, no remorse…." he trailed off. "It's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done…and to care. I haven't fed on a living human being since that day,"

"So you decided to start with my friends?" Buffy growled. Hoping maybe he'd offer an explanation for that.

"I didn't bite her," he admitted.

"Then why didn't you say anything?" Buffy asked.

"But I wanted to. I can walk like a man, but I'm not one. I wanted to kill you tonight," Angel said.

Buffy put down her bow and walked up to Angel, baring her neck.

"Go ahead," she whispered.

Angel stared at her in silence.

"Not as easy as it looks," she said.

"Sure it is!"

Buffy and Angel turned towards the voice to see Darla approaching them.

"Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?" she questioned.

"Bad hair on top of that outfit?" Buffy quipped.

Darla ignored her, "To love someone who used to love you,"

Buffy turned to Angel, "You were involved?"

"For several generations," Darla replied.

"Well, you've been around since Colombus, you're bound to pile up a few ex's. You're older than him right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes,"

"I made him. There was a time when we shared everything wasn't there Angelus?" Darla replied smiling. She loved the rise she was getting out of her. She was jealous. It was priceless, "You had a chance to come home, to rule in the Master's court for a thousand years, but you threw that away because of her. You love someone who hates us. You're sick. And you'll always be sick…. And you'll always remember what it was like to watch her die," Darla said smiling, "You didn't think I came alone, did you?"

"I know I didn't!" Buffy replied kicking her crossbow into her hands.

"Oooh, scary," she mocked. She pulled two pistols out from behind her back, "Scarier."

She aimed one at Angel and fired. He staggered backwards. Buffy watched in horror.

"Oh don't worry. Bullets can't kill vampires. Can hurt them like hell but…." She told her while chuckling. Buffy gulped. "So many body parts, so few bullets…. Let's begin with the kneecaps. No fun dancing without those!"

Buffy began to run, all the while dodging the bullets Darla was shooting at her. She dove behind the bar and tried to reload her crossbow.

Angel pulled himself up off the floor. He had to help Buffy. There was no way she could win now. He pulled the bolt that Buffy had tried to hit him with out of the wall and crept up behind Darla. Buffy finally stood up to see Angel plunge the bolt into Darla's back. She cried in pain and turned around to face Angel.

"Angel?" she whispered in shock before bursting into ashes.

Angel looked up from Darla's ashes at Buffy. She stood behind the bar counter speechless and shocked. She finally came out from behind the bar. Angel stared at her a moment longer then turned and walked away. Buffy just stared after him silently as he walked away.

~*~

Cordelia stared at the door to Angel's apartment with a frown on her face.

"He's been brooding down there for the past two days,"

"Well naturally he'd be upset! He killed his sire! That's a big deal to a vampire," Wesley explained.

"You think that's what he's so upset over Wes? Who else has he lost in the past 48 hours?" Doyle asked.

"Buffy," Cordelia sighed, "I should've figured," she sighed again. "She hasn't even been gone two days and I already miss having her around the office… and I really thought her and Angel could…."

"I did too Cordy," someone whispered from the doorway. Buffy stood there with an empty expression on her face.

"Buffy, how may we help you?" Wesley asked.

"I-I just wanted to get my stuff… he's down there isn't he?" she asked.

"Yeah…." Doyle answered.

"Oh well, may as well face my fears. Do you think he'd mind if…."

"Go ahead. O think it may actually help," Cordelia said. Buffy nodded and opened the door to his apartment.

~*~

Angel sat on the couch brooding more than he could ever remember brooding in all 247 years he'd been on the planet. He'd lost her. He didn't want to believe it. How could he have been so foolish? To think that she would actually not care that he was a vampire.

"Knock, knock,"

A voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked to the stairs to see Buffy standing at the bottom of them.

"Buffy…." He said.

"Cordelia said it was okay if I came down…."

"No, no. That's fine, I don't mind,"

"I just wanted to get my stuff,"

"Alright. I-it's all where you left it," Angel replied sadly. It was all over now. He wouldn't even have a reminder of her.

"Thanks," Buffy whispered and walked into the bedroom.

She came out of the bedroom a couple of minutes later with her overnight bag packed. She dropped it at the bottom of the stairs and turned to face Angel.

"So…."

"So…."

"Where are you going to go now?" Angel asked. If she was going to leave he had to know that she wouldn't be on the streets. He couldn’t handle that.

"I'm not sure…. I've got a job interview. At a restaurant. I guess once I save up enough money I could get a place," Buffy said.

"That's good. And right now?"

"Well, I'm taking care of Willow so…."

"Oh. I-I'm sorry about that. How is she?"

"Don't be sorry. If you hadn't shown up I'm sure Darla would have killed her. And she's getting better," Buffy said.

"Good. I'm glad,"

Buffy was about to bend down to get her bag but she stopped.

"I-I wanted to thank you,"

"For what? Lying to you? Nearly getting your friend killed? Nearly getting you killed?" Angel asked sarcastically.

"No. For…. For everything. For saving my life, for taking me in, for training me…. For saving me the other night. I mean, that must have been hard for you, her being your sire and all…."

"It was her or you. And she was the expendable one," Angel replied.

Buffy looked up at him amazed. She smiled slightly.

"I'm just glad you're okay," he told her.

"Yeah. You?" she asked, her gaze drifting to where Darla shot him.

"If I can go a little while without being thrown around or shot I'll be alright," he paused, "Look, this can't…"

"…ever be anything. I know. For one thing, you're like, two hundred and twenty-four years older than I am…."

"I just gotta… I gotta walk away from this," Angel whispered.

Buffy nodded, "I know. Me too…. One of us has to go here,"

"I know,"

The looked at each other a while longer then closed in to kiss. Buffy wrapped her arms around Angel's neck and the kiss became more passionate. The finally broke apart.

"You okay?" Buffy asked.

"It's just…"

"…painful. I know," she blinked back tears, "See you around?" she picked up her bag and walked away before the tears could spill over.

"See you around…." Angel whispered painfully, watching the empty staircase that she'd climbed up moments ago.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy walked into her apartment and dropped her keys onto the kitchen table. She opened the cupboard and took out a bottle of aspirin. She always came home with a headache. The diner was always so noisy. After dealing with the clanging and yelling in the kitchen, and the buzzing of the people at the tables all day, she was surprised her head didn't explode. The worst part was she still had to patrol. She slumped down into the chair and held her head in her hands. It had only been two months since.. She shook her head. She refused to think about it anymore. It was the past, she had to forget it and move forward. Of course her life had been so much easier. And she missed having someone to watch her back while she patrolled. It had been better that way. She picked up her jacket and a stake and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going? You just got home," Willow asked.

"Lots of baddies out there that need killing," Buffy replied.

Willow felt her neck. "Right. Well, be careful okay?"

"Usually try to be," Buffy answered. Thank God for Willow and Xander. They made her life so much more bearable.

"Buffy?"

"Yeah Will?"

"Do you. I mean, I know this topic is kinda taboo, but.."

"But what Wills?" Buffy asked. Dreading what her question was about.

"Do you ever think about him?" she asked. She had to know, her friend had been so quiet since she'd left Angel's place.

"About who?" Buffy asked, turning away from her while trying to fight back tears.

"Angel," Willow asked quietly. "I mean, you told us what happened, about. what he was.."

Buffy had had to tell Willow and Xander about everything after they'd been attacked by Darla.

"About how you found out what he was. but you never said what you felt about it," Willow said.

"What do you want me to tell you?" Buffy asked.

"Well, I don't know.. What did you feel for him?"

"I. I don't know. I-I start thinking about him. and I get completely confused,"

"Well, what about when you kissed? I mean before he went all. grrrr. what was it like?" Willow asked.

Buffy thought for a moment, "Unbelievable," she answered then left the apartment.

~*~

Buffy walked through the park. She loved Willow, she really did. But why did she have to bring him up? What was she thinking? Or what was she trying to do? Buffy sighed in frustration. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't bury her feelings. What was wrong with her? He's a vampire. Nothing could ever happen between them. But if that was the case, then why did she feel this way? He did have a soul, so he was kind of human. Romeo and Juliet thought they had it tough. She sighed, then kept looking for vampires..

.. In the other end of the park Angel was having the same dilemma. He hadn't seen her for two whole months. But the feeling was as strong as ever. No matter how hard he tried, it wouldn't go away. He wished so badly that he hadn't kissed her, that way she would have never known what he was. Yet at the same time, he knew if he hadn't he would've regretted it. His excessive brooding was starting to irritate Cordelia. She had even threatened to set him up with a friend of hers to make him stop, even though she knew that it wouldn't help. Wesley had tried to keep him busy with demon talk but it never worked. Doyle was the only one who understood. He had divorced his wife Harry last year so in a way he knew what Angel was going through, "You gotta give it time, you gotta mope for awhile," he'd said. He'd suggested Angel try to look for her once, but Angel had figured if she'd wanted to be found by him, she would've let him find her. Which she hadn't so far. He wondered where she was right then, whether she still felt the same way..

~*~

"Buffy! Get this to table 4!" the chef shouted to her. "Yeah yeah. I'm going!" she muttered. It was always crazy at the diner during lunch. Almost everyone from all the small businesses in that area always came there. She dropped the plates off at the table then turned to two people who'd just sat down at another table.

"Can I take your order?" she asked unenthusiastically as she pulled a pad of paper and a pen out of her apron.

"Buffy?" she heard someone with an Irish accent say. She looked down; Cordelia and Doyle were sitting at the table.

"Doyle.. Cordy.. Hi! What are you doing here? I thought the office was across town."

"It is. But, big nasty. Needed Killing. And seeing as it's the middle of the day Angel couldn't.." Cordelia trailed off.

"Right," Buffy whispered.

"Yeah, so, this is where you are now," Doyle said looking around. He kinda felt sorry for her, being stuck here. At least it was better than being on the streets.

"Yeah. It's not that great, but it's something," Buffy replied.

"Buffy, you'd better get back to work before the manager fires your hide," one of the other waitresses said as she walked by.

"Yeah, right. Work. joy,"

"Sorry about that Buffy. Hey, why don't you drop by my place when you're done here? We could talk then," Cordelia suggested.

"Sounds great. I'll be there around 7,"

~*~

That night Buffy walked up to Cordelia's apartment and knocked on the door. It swung open and Buffy stepped inside.

"Thanks Dennis," Buffy said.

"Buffy! You're here!" Cordelia exclaimed.

"Hey," Buffy replied.

"So come in! Sit down! It's been what? Two months?" Cordelia asked, throwing herself down on the couch.

"Yeah, something like that," Buffy said. She wondered how Angel was doing; she desperately wanted to know that he was all right, that he wasn't pinning away like she was.

"So, what have you been up to?"

"Well, I work in that diner, as you know, and I moved into an apartment with Willow and Xander.. And that's basically it. Pretty uneventful two months. What about you?" she asked, hoping Cordelia would mention something about Angel.

"Same old, same old. Lot's of demon hunting, soul saving. The usual stuff,"

"That's good," Buffy replied. Her heart sunk, nothing about Angel. But she couldn't ask, she didn't want to seem desperate.

"He's doing alright, I know you want to know,"

"Good," Buffy replied quickly, but all of a sudden wasn't sure whether she was upset, or happy that he wasn't missing her, "I'm glad. It's good that he's. good," she stammered.

"He misses you though, I think he always will," Cordelia told her.

"I.I miss him too," Buffy whispered, staring down at her hands.

"Why.why don't you go visit him? I think he'd like to see you,"

"No!" Buffy responded without hesitation, she couldn't see him, not after everything that had happened. She sighed, "It's just.it would be too hard to be around him.everything was.so painful, last time we were together."

Cordelia smiled sorrowfully, she was hoping she could at least convince Buffy to pay him a short visit, if not fix things between them. Angel had been miserable, and she could see now that Buffy was too. She almost laughed out loud at the way she was thinking. The her of two years ago would have never done anything like this for anyone.

"I think I understand.." She replied.

"I don't even think I understand it," Buffy sighed.

~*~

Doyle walked down to Angel's apartment. Angel was sitting on the couch facing away from him. Doyle stood there watching him for awhile.

"What do you want Doyle?" Angel asked

. "Huh? Oh, right, heh, nottin' really. Just came down to see ya," Doyle said walking up to Angel. He had a pad of paper and a pencil and was sketching; he had a few crumpled pieces of paper around him.

"Can never get the eyes right.." Angel mumbled. Doyle looked down at what he was drawing, it was Buffy. Doyle sighed and sat down across from him.

"So, Delia and I got that demon you sent us after," Doyle said.

"That's good," Angel replied, not even glancing up from his drawing.

"And you'll never guess who we ran into on our way back here," Doyle said.

"Who?" Angel asked.

Doyle just stared at him in silence. Angel finally looked up at him then noticed that Doyle's gaze was fixed on his sketchpad. He looked back down at his drawing.

"Oh," he murmured, finally catching on. "So, how is she?" he asked quietly.

"She's doin' quite well on her own actually. Has herself a job. Waitressin' in this li'l diner across town," Doyle explained.

"That's good.. I'm glad for her," Angel replied.

"But she's not happy. I could tell,"

Angel just kept staring at his drawing. She was all the way on the other side of town? Did she really need to get that far away from him?

"Hey! Maybe we could find out her address! I mean, Delia might know, she's talkin' with Buffy right n-" Doyle's sentence was cut off as he was hit with a vision. Angel ran to get him a drink and some painkillers.

"What did you see?" he asked.

Doyle stared at him blankly, then a look of worry crossed his face. He couldn't tell Angel this, not now..

~*~

In the park Buffy patrolled in, she walked in a sad daze, trying to get Angel out of her head. She was so upset she neglected to see the large shadow that followed her from behind the trees..

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy kept walking sadly along the path in the park. Maybe she should go see Angel. Could it really cause so much pain? Yes. She told herself. Her heart cried out for Angel but she knew that it wouldn't be able to deal with the pain that came with seeing him, and knowing that it couldn't have him. She heard a twig snap in the trees next to her. She turned to see what it was. She couldn't see anything. She figured it must just be some little animal and kept walking. She wished things could be easier with Angel. She'd finally found someone, not some dumb jock in high school, not some sleaze-ball off the streets. An actual caring person, and she couldn't have him. She sighed and kicked a pebble along the path. Life wasn't fair. This time she heard a growl come from the trees, a loud one. She turned back towards them and peered into the darkness. Suddenly a demon charged out of the trees, heading straight for her. She jumped out of the way, getting away with only her arm being slashed by one of the horns on its head. Buffy bit her cheek trying to deal with the pain. The demon stood up and turned around to face her, she gulped. It was probably twice her size, with two large horns on its head. It had sharp jagged teeth and its hands were at least as big as her head, if not bigger. The demon growled at her again then swung at her. She ducked it then punched it in the face. This just angered it, then it threw her across the ground. Buffy lay on the ground winded, then tried to get up. The demon grabbed her around the neck then lifted her off the ground.

Buffy struggled to loosen the demon's grip while gasping for air. Suddenly, the butt of an axe hit the demon on the side of the head and he dropped Buffy. Buffy looked up to see who had come to her rescue - it was Angel. Buffy stood up to try and help him fight. She kicked it in the back to try and get its attention. It spun around and growled at her. She kicked it in the stomach then punched it in the face again. It swung at her once more but she ducked. She swung her leg around to try and knock it off its feet, but it stepped back. Angel punched it on the side of the head. The demon picked Angel up by his duster and threw him into a tree. The axe flew out of his hands as he smashed into the trunk of the tree. The demon lowered his head and charged at him like a bull. Angel was too busy trying to pull him off the ground and didn't notice the demon heading for him.

"Angel!" Buff shouted trying to warn him but it was too late. The demon ran right into him, one of his horns going straight through Angel's side. He cried out in pain. Buff scrambled for the axe. She picked it up and decapitated the demon as it stood up. She dropped the axe and ran to Angel's side. She caught him as he stumbled to his knees.

"Oh God… Angel…." she whispered.

"Ow…." He groaned. He pulled his hand away from his side; it was covered in blood.

"Oh God…" Buffy gasped, "It'll be okay, just stay still… I…."

"Angel?" she heard Cordelia shout.

"Over here! Hurry!" Buffy shouted desperately..

She saw Cordelia, Doyle and Wesley running towards them.

"Dear lord…." Wesley gasped when he saw Angel.

"We've gotta get him inside," Buffy said.

"Yes, I'll go get the car," Wesley said and ran off in the other direction.

"What happened?" Doyle asked.

"The demon charged at him, he…." She looked over at its head, at the blood covered horn.

"Ew…." Cordelia mumbled.

"Good thing he's a vampire. He should be fine in a couple of days at the least," Doyle reassured her, she looked so concerned and worried.

Angel groaned.

Buffy stroked the side of his face, "It'll be okay, don't worry. You'll be fine, I promise," Buffy whispered to him.

~*~

Angel woke up the next morning in his bed. He couldn't remember anything that had happened until he looked down at his bandaged side. He thought hard…. Buffy… Buffy had been there. Where was she now? He looked over to see her sitting in a chair beside his bed. Had she been there all night?

"How are you feeling?" she murmured.

"Like I got skewered," he replied, trying to lighten the mood. She didn’t' even crack a smile.

"Are you going to be okay? I mean… there was a lot of blood…." Buffy's voice wavered.

"I'll be fine in a couple of days."

Buffy nodded, but worry was still evident on her face.

"Hey, getting impaled can't kill me. Hurts like hell, but it can't kill me," he reassured her.

"I know. But it scared me," she whispered, trying to keep herself from crying. She kept seeing him getting stabbed over and over inside her head, except, in there, he'd die. She couldn't picture her life with him dead; it scared her too much. She actually found it sort of funny, that this man she barely knew could affect her life so much.

"Don't let it. I'm fine," Angel replied, attempting to sit up so he could see her better.

"No you don't," she said, laying her hand on his chest and pushing him back down onto the pillow gently, "You need to rest." Then she noticed where she'd put her hand. She gulped and pulled it away from him. Angel noticed a rip in her sleeve that was covered in dried blood.

"You're hurt," he said.

Buffy looked at her arm, then looked at Angel's side, "Look who's talking," she replied.

He smiled slightly.

"I'm fine. I bet it's already closed up," Buffy said.

"Don't you have to go to work?" Angel asked, "Doyle said you work in a diner, or something like that,"

"Yeah, but I called in and said I couldn't work today. They're forcing me to go in at lunch though; it gets crazy there around that time. So I'll have to leave at about noon," Buffy told him.

"That's fine,"

"I'll only be gone for two hours at the most. Then I promise I'll come straight back here," she said.

"I think I can manage for that long," Angel replied.

Buffy nodded. There was a moment of silence.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?" Angel asked.

"For coming to help me with that demon. You didn't have to, but you did. Even after everything I said to you…."

"You don't have to thank me. It's my job. But I'd never make you fight alone, not even if you told me to go to Hell."

Buffy smiled slightly.

"Besides, I should be thanking you. That demon would've creamed me if it wasn't for you," he added.

"I'd never let you die,' Buffy admitted, without realizing she'd said it until it was too late.

She blushed, embarrassed, then looked down at her hands.

Angel actually smiled, "Good to know,"

Buffy looked up at him, she smiled back.

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