Rating: PG
Summary: Buffy goes to LA to talk to Angel and results ensure (Buffy's POV)
Spoilers: IWRY, The Prom, some B/A history, Buffy Season 4 and Angel Season 1, and vague Riley spoilers
Notes: Okay, I'm listening to my Lonestar CD and I just had to write a fic set to Amazed, because it's THE BEST B/A song out there! I don't own Buffy or it's characters, and I don't own the song Amazed. I'm in a writing mood today, so expect to see some more Nemesis.

Why am I here? I approach the door that says Angel Investigations. I reach for the handle and stop. I can't do this.

Yes, I can. I'm the slayer, I don't fear anything. I've come up against everything imaginable, and I'm still standing. But I can't do this. I just can't.

I reach for the handle just as someone opens the door.

I look up into the persons eyes and see that it's him. And I can feel myself drowning in them all over again. I still love him so much...

/Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take/

"Buffy, why are you here?" he asks me, trying to hide any emotion in his voice. I guess with 200+ years of experience, he'd be pretty good at it. And he is.

"We need to talk," I manage to get out.

"Okay," he says. "But you'll have to wait, I have some business to take care of. Make yourself at home, I'll be back," he tells me. I nod and go inside his office. It gives off a kind of comfortable air, like your protected. I remember how I used to feel this way, just when he was near.

/Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away/

I know my way around, I've been here once before. I see an elevator and I know that must go down to where Angel lives.

I step inside and pull the lever to take me down. I step out. I've never been here before, yet I know where everything is. It's almost like I came here in a dream I can't really remember.

I look at his table and I feel sad. Why? It's just a table. His bedroom makes me even more depressed, but what's the worst is his fridge.

His tiny, white, little fridge. It's a fridge, why is it making me so sad. Something inside me is telling me if I open it, I'll find things that could make me so happy, but I know the only thing in there is his blood.

And I begin to question why exactly I'm here. He's a vampire and I'm the slayer. As Xander once said, the outcome is sadly obvious.

/I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams/

I can hear the sound of the elevator. He's back. That was fast.

"You needed to talk to me?" he asks me. Angel, always gets right to the point.

"Yes. Why did you leave me? Was it because you didn't love me?" I blurt out. So much for subtlety.

He doesn't answer me. "Answer the question Angel," I say forcefully.

"Buffy, I-"

"Was it because you stopped loving me? Was that it? Or did you just decide it was too hard for you, and you decided to take the easy way out? I want to know Angel, because I can't be at peace until I do."

"No, I left because I *do* love you. We've gone over this too many times Buffy, we-"

"Okay, why do you think it would be better for me if you weren't in my life?" I ask. I'm not leaving until I make him see he was wrong.

"Because I can't take you into the sun."

"The sun makes you freckle," I argue.

"I can't give you a normal life, I can't give you children."

"Normal life? My life isn't normal. I don't really have that option. Did you even really think about these reasons before you left me?" I asked, sharper than I should.

"I can't make love to you," he whispers.

"Angel," I say, moving closer to him, "do you really think that's why I loved you? Sure it's nice, but *real* love can live without it. We have that kind of love Angel, I thought you knew that."

/I don't how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you/

"I do know that Buffy. Do you think I wanted to leave you? It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But with your friends and your mother, and then the mayor, it was just-"

I stare at him with wide eyes before I angrily cut him off. "My *mother*?! What did my mother do?" I say. If my mother was the reason he left me...

"She told me that you'd have to make some choices, and if you couldn't make them, I'd have to. And she said that you deserved normal, and she said a lot of things that hurt because I knew I couldn't give them to you. And that's when I started to think about us, and my impact on your life. So I broke up with you. I didn't want to, Buffy, I love you."

I couldn't believe what Angel was saying. I was going to *kill* my mother.

"So of all people to listen to, you chose my *mother*? And in the sewers, you said you didn't want your life to be with me. What about that? If you love me, why did you say that?" I ask, crying. Was that the work of my mother, or was that Angel himself? I don't think I could stand it if it had been Angel.

"What? You think that's what I meant? Oh Buffy, you said you wanted your life to be with me, and I said I don't, meaning I didn't want *your* life to be with *me*. I didn't mean it the other way around. The only thing I want is to be with you."

I start crying even harder. So it wasn't me or Angel that ended us, it was people who thought they knew what was good for us.

/The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart/

"So what now?" I ask softly. I can see Angel fighting with himself on what to say. I can tell he wants to say we should get back together, but he still doesn't think it's right.

I won't let the last option happen. I come up to him and pull him into a kiss. I put everthing into that kiss, my pain, my frustration, my caring, and most of all my deep love for him. And he returns is with equal passion.

/Oh it feels like the first time, every time
I wanna spend the whole night, in your eyes/

We're still kissing and we move over and hit a wall. I grab his shoulders and jump up into his arms, and we move again.

We're on something hard. We're on his table. I've done this before. Something is happening here.

I stop kissing him and look into his eyes. "Why do I feel like I'm having déjà vu?" I ask him. The look on his face is enough to make me cry. It's filled with a pain I've never seen him show.

"Angel?" I ask softly.

He won't look me in the eye. Something's wrong here. "What is it?" I ask.

"Do you remember when you came here around Thanksgiving?" he asks me softly.

I nod. "Do you remember the Mora Demon that came through the window? Well, I didn't kill it the first time."

"The first time?" I'm confused now.

"It got away, so me and you went after it. You went into the sunlight to look for it, and I kept looking in the sewers. And it found me. And I killed it, but it's blood mixed with mine. It has regenerative blood."

"What does that mean?" Where is he going with this?

"It means I was human."

I gasp and look at him.

"We made love all day long Buffy. We ate food and we were on this table, which is why you think you've been here before."

"So what happened? You're still a vampire! And why can't I remember this?"

He looks down. "Turns out the Mora Demon regenerated itself. I didn't want to risk your life, so I went after it myself. And it almost killed me. If you hadn't shown up, I would've died. So I went to see the Oracles and asked them what would happen to you if I stayed mortal and you had to fight evil and worry about me. And they told me that you would die. So I asked them to turn me back into a vampire. The only way to make sure we didn't repeat what we did, they turned back time one day, and gave only me the memory of our lost day."

I was crying again, I started hugging him, trying to say something, but all that came out were sobs.

/I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you/

"Buffy don't cry, I hate it when you cry," Angel tells me, trying not to cry himself. I can't believe him. He gave up his humanity for me. I don't deserve him.

I pull away from him slowly. "Angel, don't tell me to go away. I don't think I could take it," I whisper.

He just kisses me. We're both crying and kissing each other, and I feel so much joy inside me. We both pull away.

"So, what happens now?" he asks me.

"We try a long distance relationship. We can call each other and visit on weekends," I say. He nods and we kiss again. I just can't get enough of him.

Then I hear the elevator. I chose to ignore it. Big mistake.

"Angel, we have a...hello Buffy," a familiar voice says from behind us.

I turn around and see...Wesley?

"Wesley? Um...hi?" I say. "What are you doing here?"

His chest gets sorta puffy and he says "I'm a rogue demon hunter, who occasionally helps Angel when work gets to be too much for him."

Sure, like *my* Angel needs any help. I decided to humor him and I just nod, pretending to be impressed.

"Wesley, what's wrong?" Angel asks. I become aware that me and Angel are still on his table and we both got off, reading each others minds.

"We have some vampires sacrificing some innocent people to some demon or something. Looks messy."

Angel nods. "Buffy, I need to go-"

"I know. I need to get back. You'll call me, right?" I ask. He nods and kisses me quickly, then he turns to leave.

"Angel, be careful," I say. He smiles at me and then he's gone.

And I know he'll be back. And I know he still loves me. And we're back together. I break out in a huge grin and leave his apartment.

I'm back in Sunnydale in about two hours. Nothing has changed. Oz is still gone, Willow still mopes, Anya and Xander still screw each other every chance they get, Giles is still Giles, and Riley Finn still has an annoying crush on me.

And none of them know that my life has taken a change for the better. And I couldn't care less. I wonder what my Mom will say...

/Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever/

I get to my house on Revello Drive. My mom's not home yet, she's probably still at work. I sit down on the couch and wait. She's going to be in for a surprise when she gets home.

I think about everything me and Angel talked about today. I'm glad I talked to him, and I'm glad that I know why he left me now. He did it because everyone around him convinced him it was the right thing to do.

I think Angel should only listen to me. That way, things could be sooo much fun....

I hear someone pull up in my driveway. Mom's home. I just sit back on the couch.

I love Angel. And this is going to kill her. I grin evilly.

No more Riley, no more listening to my mother, no more pain, just us, in love. I can't believe I have Angel, I must be blessed. He's so wonderful, so loving, so perfect, and he always leave me feeling...amazed.

/Every little thing that you do
Oh every little thing that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you/

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