DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, OK?
SPOILERS: It's set sometime during Season Four, after Parker, before Adam.
SYNOPSIS: Buffy is at a party with Riley, Parker turns up. And! A special mystery guest/
DISTRIBUTION: Anyone can have. Just ask.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: OK, it's based on a song called My Boyfriend's Back by The Angels. Think Shangri-Las and you have the style. I shoved the lyrics at the end just so you know what I'm talking about. This is a piece of totally fluffy fluff which I'm surprised a cynic like me could have created. But hey, I think Riley-exposure has turned my brain smushy.
FEEDBACK: I'd love feedback. Wouldn't we all.
RATING: Some slight, but hilarious violence written in a tasteful way. I think.

Buffy was tired. She'd been patrolling most of last night, although thanks to the mysterious commando guys her job was less taxing than usual. Of course, now she'd discovered that Riley was one of those soldier boys, she was in turmoil again. Hadn't she sworn off office romances? She couldn't have a relationship with him. Not after Angel. An involuntary pain shot through her heart. It didn't hurt any less. She'd slept with Parker, but it hadn't hurt any less. Now there was Riley. On the surface, the most normal, average regular Joe guy she could meet. But no, he had to turn out to be one of the Initiative guys. Typical. It's just how her life went. She could never have a normal life, she knew this now. She sighed.

"I can't have a normal life." she said out loud to the empty room. She knew she couldn't. It's what Angel had left her for, to give her a normal life. But she was the Slayer. She ! didn't get that luxury. And maybe she didn't want it. Didn't normal spell boring? She was jolted from her reverie by a knock on the door. She went and opened the door.

"Hi Riley." she said a little unenthusiastically, but he didn't catch that in her voice.

"Ready?"

"Sure." Tonight they were going out for a night of normal fun. Some chance.

They arrived at the Lowell House party thrown by the commandos in disguise. She noticed some of them, particularly that Forrest guy looking at her strangely. Riley must have said something.

"So much for the secret identity." she said under her breath.

"What?" Riley asked.

"Nothing." she said hurriedly. Then she groaned. Parker had appeared from nowhere.

"Buffy Summers." he said sarcastically. Clearly the lessons from the time Buffy went 1 Million Years BC. had been forgotten.

"Hello Parker." she said dully.

"What do you want Abrams?" Riley asked, remembering what he'd said about Buffy before, when Riley had been forced to use physical violence. Not that he'd done very well….

"I just came to say hi to my favourite girl." Parker said in a smarmy voice. Buffy's eyes turned cold with anger. She could kill him easily, but she wouldn't. It was beneath her. "Favourite girl?" she asked icily.

"Yeah. You know, I think you were the best shag of all the Freshman girls I took for test drives." he said.

"And you tested a lot, right?" Buffy snapped back. She then took Riley's arm and led him away.

The party got worse after that. She saw Willow arrive but then leave after finding it all too much to take. She had wanted to walk Willow home, but the red head had insisted she'd be fine. The Initiative guys- with the exception of Riley- were all suspicious and wary of her, and any attempts by Riley to get conversation started died soon after. Possibly more to do with the fact that he was an idiot, rather than the Initiative hating Buffy.

So, she found herself sitting out by the front door, thinking how perhaps she should have taken a jacket.

"Buffy's all alone. Where's your new boy toy?" Parker's voice cut through the night air as he came through the door.

"Go to Hell Parker." she said, not even looking up. He sat down beside her.

"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy." he said. "I only want to talk."

"Talk? Pull the other one, it's got bells on it." Buffy said sharply. She went to get up but! he took her arm and held her back.

"Let go of me." she said her voice low and even.

"No. I want to talk to you." he said. "About that night..."

"I don't want to talk to you. I don't even want to be in the same zip code as you. Even being on the same continent is too close for comfort." she went to get up again, but he held her down. She was trying to keep her anger and strength under control.

"I said no!" she said. He was about to say something, when a hand grabbed his neck from behind. He was lifted into the air and thrown a distance onto the grass.

"The lady said no." a deep voice said. She looked up.

"Angel!" she said breathlessly. Angel was back!

"Hi." he said, giving her one of those cute slant-like grins. "Is there a problem ma'am?"

"No. Parker was just leaving. Weren't you?"

"Y.. Y...Yes." he said, before stumbling off into the night. Buffy laughed and then turned her attentions back to the dark handsome man standing in the shadows.

"What brings you to Sunnydale Angel? Some big danger?"

"No. Just you." he said seriously, sitting down beside her.

"Me?"

"Yeah. Buffy, nothing's changed, I'm still a vampire, you're still the slayer. But... I miss you." he said, heartbreakingly honest for once.

"I miss you too."

"I want to come back to Sunnydale." he said.

"I never wanted you to leave but you wouldn't listen to me."

"Well, what can I say? I'm a stupid, stupid man." he smiled at her winningly.

"Yes, you are." she said, smiling. "Can you keep yourself under control?"

"I think so. Except..." he stopped and leaned in to kiss her deeply.

"Buffy?" Riley appeared outside with a glass of Coke. "Buffy! What! 's going on?" he cried.

"What?" Buffy asked, jolted out of the kiss.

"Who is that? What are you doing? What's going on?" Riley demanded.

"Oh." Buffy looked at Riley, then at Angel. "My boyfriend's back." she said with a smile. Riley looked confused.

"Your boyfriend? I'm your boyfriend!" His voice rose to a squeal. A squeal like a little girl with a skinned knee.

"Hello? Since when?" Buffy said.

"Since… Since… But I'm Riley! You must love me!" He said. Angel tried to stifle his laughter.

Buffy looked up at him.

"What's so funny?"

"Where to begin…" Angel trailed off. "Look at his pants." Buffy did so.

Riley's corduroy trousers were stained. She began to giggle. Riley looked. He'd tipped his Coke down his pants. A look of shock, embarrassment and bewilderment appeared on his mortified face. But, in running to escape, he tripped over the glass he'd dropped. He stumbled a couple of times in trying to balance himself, but tumbled down off the step. He landed with what would normally be a worrying crunching sound. But this was Riley. Buffy and Angel grinned, took each other's hand and walked off into the night.

Oh yes, there were hurdles ahead, curses to be sorted out, vampire issues, early deaths for slayer issues, normal life issues. But you know what, they lived happily ever after just the same.

My Boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back) If you see him comin' better cut out on the double
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back) You've been spreadin' lies that I was untrue
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back) So look out now 'cause he's comin' after you
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back) Hey, he knows that you've bee tryin' And he knows that you've been lyin'

He's been gone for such a long time (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriends back)
But new he's back and things'll be fine (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
You're gonna be sorry you were ever born (Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
'Cause he's kinda big and he's awful strong (Hey la, hey la, my heyfriend's back)
Hey, he knows I wasn't cheatin' Now you're gonna get a beatin'

What makes you think he'd believe all your lies (hmmm)
You're a big man now, but he'll cut you down to size (hmmm)
Wait and see
My boyfriend's back he's gonna save my reputation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back) If I were you I'd take a permanent vacation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey, he knows I wasn't cheatin' Now you're gonna get a beatin'

What makes you think he'd believe all your lies (hmmm)
You're a big man now but he'll cut you down to size (hmmm)
Wait and see

My boyyfriend's back, he's gonna save my reputation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back) If I were you I'd take a permanent vacation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey my boyfriend's back
So look out now 'cause my boyfriend's back
And I can see him comin'
So you better start a-runnin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah

So, what do you think? Any good? An absolute abomination of the English language. Tell me!

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