DISCLAIMER: Buffyverse isn't mine...and neither is "Against All Odds" by Genesis and Phil Collins, M&M's aren't either.
SUMMARY: Set immediately after Remember Me This Way. Buffy reflects.
RATING: An angsty PG
FEEDBACK: Should i be afraid to say yes seeing how everyone is doing fluff?
DEDICATION: To all you who have given me great FB, but most of all to Sarah sare bear) who gave me the idea to do a sequel. I hadn't planned on it..honest..but then she got it in my head, and I heard the perfect song. I couldn't resist. Thanx!
NOTE: I know everyone is in a fluff phase, but i had a bad day, and i think i took it out on Buffy and Angel..who so totally don't deserve it, but they unfortunately were the recipients of my anger. I'll make it up to ya guys by getting really fluffy in my next story!

Buffy didn't know if she was going to survive. That was it. It was that simple. She was barely going to survive this ordeal. He'd come to her tonight, giving her the good-bye they hadn't had earlier. A part of her was happy for that. That he loved her enough to give her the good-bye. Another part of her though, cried out at the pain. She'd been sure that she'd never see him again and then he'd shown up.

She barely realized that her friends had surrounded her; barely seeing that the small circle that had formed was still intact, the aisle made where Angel had disapeared through melted back together, as if he'd never been there. As if she hadn't just been held in his arms, safe and complete for one last time.

The D.J. seemed not to have noticed the small spectacle taking place in the center of the dance floor, because yet another slow song started up. With a broken sigh, the tears just beginning to somewhat subside, she faintly recognized the first strains of the song. It was one of her mother's favourite songs.

***

How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you
You're the only one who really knew me at all

***

The words cut straight into her. She'd let him just walk away. Without any sort of fight; she'd let him leave, for the second time that night. How had she let him just go like that? She hadn't even really fought his decision. To be truthful, after his words about not wanting her life to be with him, she hadn't wanted to get into any type of arguement with him.

All she'd wanted to do at the moment was to curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out, possibly die. Which she'd promptly done as soon as she'd gone home, crying her eyes out to Willow. It hadn't been an exaggeration when she'd said she felt like she couldn't breath. He was her life. The one person in her life that she would love completely and forever. The one person that she had thought truly loved her, no matter what. The only person that really knew who she was. Inside.

***

How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
'Cause we shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all

***

She couldn't move. She seriously couldn't move. Every particle in her body was frozen in dread. He was gone. And she hadn't gone after him. They'd been through so much together. They'd had such good times, once upon a time.

The memories from the younger years were hazy. She thought they would have been cherished, relived. The pain had gotten too much though, after all they'd been through after that one fateful, perfect, disastrous night. She had relived those memories so many times. At times they'd been the only thing holding her sanity together when she'd been faced with the demon counterpart of the man she loved. Yet after everything, they'd somehow just gotten too painful.

That had been one of the unspoken problems between them the past year since his return from Hell. They had tiptoed around the subject, neither one of them quite getting brave enough to broach the topic to the other. So they'd pretended that everything was, comfortable, between them, because it would never be perfect again.

***

So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face

***

Yet no matter how painful those memories were, they were all she had left now. That and four of the five gifts he'd given her over the years. Her cross, jacket, book of poetry, and his love. The cherished ring she had gone back to search for, with no avail.

***

Take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
And you coming back to me
Is against the odds
And that's the chance I've got to take

***

She found herself searching out the dark corners of the club. Every shadow, every place he could be hiding, knowing that he wasn't going to be there, looking back at her, giving her that half-smile of his that had always made her melt.

One word was running through her mind, repeatedly, un-ending. Maybe. . . Maybe someday, they'd have another chance. Maybe he would realize that he couldn't be without her. That he would know what she already did. That she wasn't complete without him. Maybe someday. She knew it was a long shot. Hell, more than a long shot. Right now though, right now, she wouldn't give up that hope for anything.

***

I wish I could just make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one
Who really knew me at all

***

"Buffy?" softly spoken words broke into her train of thought, and for one, brief, life-halting moment, she thought it was his voice. Reality broke through though, and in the form of Xander's hand resting gently on her shoulder. "Are you going to be all right?"

Buffy straightened, suddenly painfully aware of all the eyes on her, looking at her with pity. Her hands moved to her cheeks, hastily wiping away the tears that were pouring from her eyes, successful only in making dry cheeks for the following tears to run down. "I'll be...oh god!" She nearly lost it then, as she flung herself into Xander's warm embrace, her body shaking hard with the sobs. "I barely tried to get him to understand!" she wailed, each word broken by a fresh sob.

"I'm sure you tried everything you could Buffy. He looked pretty sure about his decision."

Other arms were around her then, not just Xander's around her waist. Willow, Oz, Cordelia. They were all there for her. Supporting her. But they weren't the one person she wanted more than anything at that moment.

***

So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
There's nothing left her to remind me
Just the memory of your face

***

She cried then. More than any other time she could remember crying.

And then she knew.

***

Take a good look at me now
There's just an empty space

***

She wasn't ever going to be the person she'd been when she was with him again. It had been different before she'd met him. She hadn't known what she was missing. But then she'd met him, and everything in her world had changed. She hadn't known it was possible to love some one that much.

***

But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've got to face

***

She knew something else too. No matter how much he had stressed that he had wanted her to move on, it wasn't going to happen. She would be here, waiting for him to return.

It would be useless to try and date anyone else. Anyone else wouldn't even equal a pale comparision to him. They would be like a M&M, when you were used to Swiss chocolate all your life.

All she could do was wait. Hoping that he would realize his mistake and come back to her. Where he belonged.

***

Take a good look at me now
'Cause I'll still be standing there
And you coming back to me
Is against all the odds
Its the chance I got to take

***

The last refrain of the song hung in the air. The students were silent, still, none moving. They could almost taste the grief, heavy in the air. None made a move toward the small group standing, united in center of the dancefloor. The five graduates broke apart from their comforting group hug, yet each kept in contact with the others.

Buffy stepped away from her friends then. She'd caused enough pain to them in the 3 years that she'd known them. If it hadn't been for her, she had a feeling their lives would have been less dangerous. Well, she amended silently, except for that whole Harvest thing. But today they had graduated, and had fought for their lives and had won. They should be celebrating, like any other graduating class.

With a sad smile, she whispered goodbye, and turned toward the exit. As with Angel's departure, her fellow graduates split for her, looking sadly after her as she made her way to the door. Words of sympathy were softly whispered, and her senses registered some of them, but she didn't want their pity. Right now, she just needed to deal. By herself.

She stepped into the warm night air, moving purposefuly away from the Bronze, where her romance had both began and ended. Though it would never truly end. Their love was forever.

She never noticed the silent figure standing in the shadows, watching as she left, a forlorn expression of want on his chiseled features.

***

Take a look at me now

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