Disclaimer: Not mine...yeah right...like I would really have let Angel
leave and Fish Boy on the show if they were! The song isn't mine
either...its Debbie Gibson's as far as I know...
Summary: My second attempt at a songfic, and my first really angsty
piece...at least i think so anyway. =) Basically its justs Buffy's
thoughts after G2.
Feedback: Yes please! I haven't gotten any back what so ever...and I'm
starting to feel really left out ...pity me...please!
Distribution: My site, ,
and pretty much anyone who asks.
Note:I know, I know, I've pretty much been in a fluffy mood, but I love
this song and had to use it. I'll make it up to ya guys somehow.
The sun had just begun to show itself over the far off horizon. Buffy Summers, stood on the cliff overlooking the sleepy town of Sunnydale, her heart breaking, and the tears long since dried up, leaving smoky paths down her cheeks. From her vantage point, the charred remains of the high school were visible, smoke still rising off the burned stones. The jubilant students had gone, most to the Bronze where the all night party had started. The rescue vehicles were gone as well, leaving yellow tape along the circumference of school grounds. And he was gone. Just like he'd said. Without a goodbye, he'd turned and melted into the smoke that was drifting, hanging heavy in the air.
It must have been love
But its over now
She'd left the party early last night, not wanting to ruin the triumphant spirit of the crowd. She'd gone home, only taking the time to change before she'd fallen into bed, curling in on herself as she had begun to let herself deal with what had happened in the past few days.
He was truly gone.
Lay a whisper
On my pillow
Leave the winter
On the ground
I wake up lonely
She woke up sometime in the early morning, his name on her lips, not an unusual occurrence. When she'd sent him to hell last summer, all her dreams and ended with her waking up, crying out his name in tears. She opened her eyes slowly, half hoping that he'd be there, at her window, as he'd done so many time in the past.
The stare of silence
In the bedroom
And all around
Touch me now
I close my eyes
And dream away
When she saw that her room was truly empty, a choked sob escaped the walls she'd fought for so long to build up, trying to shield her from the pain that she knew would ultimately break her heart.
Throwing the tangled sheets off her legs, she moved the window sill that had seen so many comings and goings in the few years she'd lived there. Leaning against the wall, she pressed her forehead to the cool pane of glass, and looked out into the grey world, where everything was quiet. Closing her eyes, tears still leaking from under dark lashes that were already wet, she let the memories wash over her, the happiness of the past times bittersweet with the knowledge that times like those would never come again.
It must have been love
But its over now
It must have been good
But I lost it somehow
It must have been love
But its over now
From the moment we touched
Till the time had run out
No matter how many times the others tried to tell her it wasn't her fault, she still felt to blame for what she looked upon as the turning point in her life, more so than her calling as a Slayer. Her becoming the Slayer was trivial to the one memory that was both the happiest and saddest points in her life. The night that she had made love to Angel; the night that she had lost Angel forever.
She still had Angel; she always would, because a piece of his heart would always be her's, but she could never have him the way she truly wanted him. The way she'd wanted him from the moment his lips had touched hers, the way she'll always want him. Carefree and happy, the way they'd been together before the knowledge of the curse and the clause had put a damper on their relationship.
Make believing
We're together
That I'm sheltered
By your heart
But in the outside
I turn to water
Like a teardrop
In your pond
The past year.being near him had been torture. Wanting to touch him, be touched by him, and knowing that if it happened, that she would lose him again. Pretending to be just friends, when just about everybody but them knew it could never truly be. And now, she wouldn't even how the luxury of having some sort of relationship with him. When it came right down to it, to either have Angel in her life in any way, or not at all, she knew that she'd take him any way she could.
She was being selfish, she knew. Wanting that from him. Willing to put up with the torture of never being truly with him again, and asking the same from him. He deserved so much more than that.
And it's so hard
Winter stayed
I dream away
It must have been love
But it's over now
It was all that I wanted
Now I'm living without
Walking out of her front door, grateful that her mom wasn't back yet, she wrapped her arms around herself as her feet moved down the sidewalk, taking their own path. She'd found that one love that everyone spent their whole life looking for, but it was to come to nothing. She'd had that one perfect night.
Now all she had to look forward to was a lonely life, living without him. Forced to dream of the past and what could have been.
It must have been love
But it's over now
It's where the water flows
It's where the wind blows
Whoever was up there running her life, sure must being getting a kick out of what fun her life was. Taunting her with all everyone ever looked for, and then snatching it away, never to be given to her again.
It must have been love
But it's over now
It must have been good
But I lost it somehow
It must have been love
But it's over now
From the moment we touched
Till the time had run out
Without knowing it, she'd reached the cliff that Angel had almost killed himself at last Christmas. She'd thought she was about to lose him that morning, this time with no chance of ever getting him back. That morning wasn't half as bad as the knowledge that Angel didn't want his life to be with her. That he'd just walked away from 3 years of history together. Without saying goodbye.
Yeah it must have been love
But it's over now
It was all that I wanted
Now I'm living without
Buffy stood on that cliff until the little town below her showed signs of movement and awakening. People getting up and going on with their lives. Working, playing, loving. Without knowing that the girl that went out every night, keeping their world safe for them to go on with their oblivious lives, was looking down at them, her heart breaking as she knew that she'd go on and survive, but never really live with out him.
It must have been love
But its over now
It's where the water flows
It's where the wind blows
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