Rating: Same as TV show, PG?
Disclaimer: If I owned them, I'd be making a lot more than I am now. Trust me.
Distribution: Can't imagine who would want it but go for it. If it's not too much trouble, let me know?
Feedback: Of course!!!
Spoilers: Buffy up through ep 83 "No Place Like Home"
Timeline: This actually takes place some indistinct time in the future, based on what's happened in S5 so far and rumors of what's to come. Note: Hope you like, it's something that just wouldn't leave me alone.

"Now, are you going to explain why you and Spike were all over each other?"

Buffy sighed, turning away from the path Spike had taken. As she looked at Angel across the clearing, she could tell he wasn't really mad, just hurt and confused. "You realize that I don't have to explain anything to you. It's my life and you did leave me."

"You know why I left. So that you could find someone normal. If you think Spike's normal, you've been on the Hellmouth too long. He's a vicious monster who wouldn't think twice about killing you and your friends if it weren't for that chip in his head." Angel was stunned that she would have anything to do with her enemy of four years.

She crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side. "You're right, he's not normal. Which works out pretty great since neither am I. Or Willow, or Tara, or Anya, or Giles, or Xander for that matter. And for your information, I tried 'normal'. Remember?"

Angel couldn't help the slight sneer of his lips. "Riley, your toy soldier. Whatever happened to him anyway? Did you dump him when you realized you really do have a thing for vampires?" Where did this sudden childish need to strike out and hurt her come from? He wanted to take it back before the last word was out of his mouth, even more so when her eyes filled with pain.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she forced a laugh. "Like I'm gonna just hand you ammunition."

His eyes softened. "I'm sorry. What happened?"

Buffy looked at him then shrugged. "If you really need to know, he left me." The word 'too' hung in the air between them, unspoken.

"I'm sor-"

Buffy casually waved one hand, cutting him off. "It's not your fault, Angel."

He should be happy. Or at least relieved that it hadn't worked out. But Buffy had been hurt and there was no way he could ever take pleasure from anything that had caused her pain. "Why?"

She was silent, tilting her head back to look at the sky. Just when he thought she wasn't going to answer, she started laughing, almost hysterically. When her eyes found his again, he could see the tears she held back. Still chuckling, she said, "Oh, that's the best part. You'll love this one. He left me because..." She paused, as though getting ready to tell the punch line of a joke. "...he was too normal for me." Buffy waited for his reaction, a false smile frozen on her face.

Angel closed his eyes, knowing how much she had been hurt. When he opened them again, she was still standing there, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, as though she were trying to physically hold herself together. Without a second thought, he crossed the space between them and pulled her into his arms, resting his cheek on top of her head and rubbing his hands up and down her back.

As soon as his arms encircled her, Buffy let go of the sobs tearing their way up from her chest. He whispered soothing sounds and words as she cried into his shirt, allowing her to release the pain she'd let build up inside.

After she had cried herself out, Buffy sniffled. "Sorry, I didn't mean to go to pieces on you."

"Sometimes it's good for you." He hesitated uncertainly. "Are you ... happy? With Spike, I mean."

She considered his question. "I don't know. I'm content. Isn't that enough?"

He tenderly kissed the top of her head. "Only you can answer that." He sighed. "I wanted more for you."

Still pressing her cheek against his wet shirt, she smiled softly. "I know."

"Can I ask you something?" At her nod, he continued. "Why Spike?"

He felt her shoulders shrug against him. "Oddly enough, I care for him."

"You do realize that although he may act human, he doesn't have a soul. I'm not sure if he can really love you. Plus, he's selfish, he won't always think about you and what you want." Angel wasn't trying to demean the younger vampire or even come between him and Buffy. He just wanted to make sure she knew what she was getting into.

Buffy smiled again. It felt nice to have someone looking out for her. "I know he doesn't love me, but I really do think he cares for me, as well. And it might be nice to have someone who won't sacrifice himself to do what he thinks is right for me."

When Angel stiffened in her arms, she hastened to reassure him. "I'm not implying anything, Angel, I understand." She pulled back a little to look him in the face. "After Riley left, I thought I'd take some time off from relationships. It's not like I need a man in my life. But it was lonely. Watching Willow and Tara, Xander and Anya. I'm a Slayer, who knows how much longer I have. And it feels nice to have someone to hold, someone to be with." She stopped. "Oh, god, Angel, I'm sorry, I…"

He smiled. "It's alright. I know what you mean. And I'm glad you have that." He chuckled when she raised an eyebrow at him skeptically. "Really." After a moment, conscious of Spike watching them from behind the trees, he pulled away from her.

Realizing that he was getting ready to leave, she asked, "So we're ok, right?"

"Yeah." He started to turn, then looked back. "Buffy, if something happened … if the situation were to change … would you let me come back?"

Buffy started to open her mouth to say yes, but an image of Spike flashed through her mind, stopping her. Would he be hurt? Would he care? She wondered what would happen if Drusilla came back to him. He'd probably leave her without a second thought. There was no telling what might happen between now and 'someday'. She sighed sadly and whispered, "I don't know."

Angel nodded, accepting her answer no matter how much it hurt. As he disappeared in the opposite direction that Spike had taken earlier, she whispered softly, "I love you."

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