Spoilers: NONE, completely AU.
Disclaimer: The BtVS characters and AtS characters I
mention aren't mine, neither are any pop-culture
references.
Summary: Angel is the school outcast who hides in the
shadows. Buffy is the bright, energetic new girl (and
new Cordette!) who knows she doesn't belong where she
is-as one of the beautiful people, but doesn't know
who else to be.
Rating: R at the most, I guess.
Feedback: YES! PLEASE!
Angel O'Shannon sat in the Sunnydale High School cafeteria. All around him people- students and faculty-milled. They went about their daily business of buying food and drink, taking seats at their regular tables. They forgot all about the quiet loner who occupied a round table with his best and only friend, Francis Doyle, nicknamed Doyle.
Angel and Doyle had a lot in common. Both had Irish heritage. While Doyle was born in Ireland and moved to the United States, Angel's parents migrated from Ireland when Angel was still inside his mother's womb. Angel lived in California for all of his pitiful seventeen years and had yet to master the California spirit.
It wasn't really his fault he was an introvert of such. He could blame it on his parents, who were rich and kind of elitist. He could blame it on the small private school he attended for seven years that sheltered him so severely he still had problems with groups and cliques. He was intelligent, and his intolerance for the stupid, immature acts of his peers bothered the shit out of him.
But Angel wasn't stuck up; he wasn't some kind of snob just because he was intelligent and rich. He was an all around nice guy, if a little sensitive and smart. He just had little tolerance for immaturity and ignorance, a plague that swarmed his peers like locusts.
He didn't have the tormented high school that others complained about, wrote books about. No one picked on him; they just kind of ignored him as though he blended in with the scenery. It was quite miraculous that all of his clothes managed to match the burgundy and white walls of SHS. Now, entering his senior year, Angel was looking forward to escaping the land of sheep and into higher education.
Angel was ripped from his thoughts by the sound of plastic smacking on wood. His dark brown eyes traveled upwards to see his best friend slamming a food-laden tray down on the table. Doyle wore an impish grin that set off his smiling blue eyes. Angel knew that smile. It was the Cordelia Chase smile. Doyle had been in love with Cordy forever and she wouldn't give him the time of day.
"You saw her, didn't you?" asked Angel as he picked at his beef burrito with distaste. He moved away from the burrito and picked up his bottle of water.
"Yes," said Doyle with the best dreamy voice an eighteen-year-old male can manage. "And god, she was ravishing!" He grinned at his best friend and leaned in conspiratorially. "And she had quite the lass with her. If I wasn't in for Cordelia, this lass would be the first I call for a little back seat loving."
Angel frowned. "The new girl? Is a friend with Cordelia Chase? I feel sorry for her."
He shook his head and looked across the cafeteria, where Cordelia and her cronies were sauntering confidently. Between the Queen of Mean and Harmony the Airhead walked a petite blond wearing a pair of sky blue capris and a white designer strapless top.
*Nothing special, * thought Angel.
The girl stopped abruptly and looked across the cafeteria, scanning it quickly. Angel sucked in a breath at the sight of her. She had an unblemished complexion with warm hazel-green eyes that seemed to glimmer with gold. For a moment, their eyes locked and she gave a small smile before Cordelia dragged her new sheep away, hissing angrily at her. *
Buffy Summers followed Cordelia Chase to the lunch line. Normally, juniors and seniors could go off campus, but Cordelia declared that the smog would destroy her hair and opted that the Cordettes inside and eat. Buffy opted for a small salad in a Styrofoam box (that came with some type of white dressing) and a club soda she had packed in her large Gucci over-the-shoulder bag.
She was following Cordelia and Harmony, not really listening in on their incessant fluffy banter. Buffy paused by the Minute Maid juice machine and scanned the cafeteria for anyone that would see her stoppage as a cry for help. She hated snobby airheads like Cordy, but she hung out with them anyway. It was her opinion that there was nothing worse than being unpopular.
As her eyes lingered on the upper tier of the cafeteria, she spotted two boys sitting at a small circular table. One of the boys' backs was to her. The other boy was tall with dark brown hair that flopped lazily over the top of his ears and brushed the top of his dark black Elvis Costello glasses. He looked up and Buffy realized he had the nicest eyes she'd ever seen. Weakly she smiled, but before anything else could happen, Cordelia yanked her away by the elbow.
"Stay away from that loser," warned Cordelia as she pulled Buffy towards a circular table that was located on the outdoor courtyard. She put her purse by her feet and motioned for Buffy to sit. Before Buffy could ask who the boy was, Cordelia continued with her ramble.
"His name is Angel O'Shannon, and he's a weirdo. Complete dork," sighed Cordelia, "thinks he's better than all of us."
"Yeah," added Harmony. "Complete psycho-loony."
Buffy gave a stunning grin and flipped her hair behind her ear, slipping on her mask.
"Okay, got it. Weirdo nerd psycho-loony guy." Buffy said it, but she just didn't believe it. *
Doyle whistled as he and Angel left the cafeteria at the bell. "Aye Chihuahua. What a fox." His attempt at a Mexican accent with full-on Irish twang was too funny not to laugh at, even if it was a complete linguistics disaster.
"She saw you," Doyle noted with a grin. He playfully nudged Angel with his elbow in the ribs. "Checked you out, mate."
"Yeah right," Angel responded. He reached up beneath the lens of his glasses and scratched beneath his eye. He hated those damned glasses with a passion, but they were had become part of him after a while- a part of his disguise.
"She was," Doyle said. "I think you should talk to her."
"No!" shouted Angel. He turned right at a set of stairs and climbed them to his locker. Doyle gave chase and continued babbling about Angel and the new girl's "connection" at lunch. Angel hurriedly spun his combination with shaky fingers and his brown door swung open.
"Look, Doyle. Forget about it. Have you looked at me lately?" Angel snapped. He reached down into his heap of books and grabbed his heavy Biology book from the mess.
"You know I don't look at other guys like that," Doyle insisted. The reply was the slamming of Angel's locker door, which showed him that his best bud was growing impatient. "Yeah, I've seen you. You could use some work."
Angel was crushed. He knew inside that maybe, if he tried, he could be one of the "beautiful people" that Buffy and Cordelia were. His mother told him so all the time that beneath those thick black glasses and shaggy hair was a beautiful man. Angel never bought her compliments. Angel just never expected Doyle to be ragging on him.
"I know that," Angel said sharply, "but it takes too much time." He started to walk down the hallway, with Doyle on his heels. Finally, when his chatter got too much, Angel spun on his best friend.
"Just let it go, Doyle. She'll *never notice me*. Get it through your thick Irish skull already!"
Angel left Doyle standing static in the hallway. He ventured down to his Advanced Chemistry class, his 4th period class. His conversation with Doyle had taken up most of his passing period, and he barely made it in before the bell rang. He rushed over to a lab table and sat down, flipping open his Bio book, not even noticing who was next to him.
"Hi," he said absentmindedly as he flipped to the page on the whiteboard.
"Hi," replied a sweet voice. "I think we've met before. Kinda."
Angel looked up and right into the eyes of Buffy Summers.
*
Angel looked down at his chemistry book, and then up at Buffy. "Hey. I'm Angel. Angel O'Shannon."
Buffy smiled and said, "Buffy Summers. Formerly of Hemery High in L.A. Nice to meet you."
Angel felt his heart melt in a puddle at his feet. He couldn't help wonder why she was hanging out with Cordelia and Harmony. She was so different from them. She had already introduced herself and smiled, which was more than those two bitches ever did. He smiled at Buffy and heard Mr. Gaylord talking, but he didn't factor in what he was saying.
"Los Angeles," Angel noted. "Is it nice there?"
"I guess," replied Buffy. She tapped her paper with the eraser of her Garfield pencil. "It's L.A. Kinda hard to explain if you've never been there before." She smiled.
"Lots of shoes. And shopping. One time I saw Tom Cruise at the mall. That was cool." Buffy noticed that her spotting of Tom Cruise didn't win her any points with Angel, and she was pleased. Cordy and Harmony would be squealing with joy at the words "Tom" and "Cruise". But Angel didn't care.
"What about you?" continued Buffy, still tapping her pencil to a tune in her head.
Angel blushed. "Nothing to tell. Lived here all my life, but my parents are from Ireland."
He looked down nervously at his biology book, noticing that the words seemed to be swirling in front of him in patterns. He shook his head and glanced back up at his lab partner.
"Ireland, that's cool. Ever been there?" Buffy asked. She pulled out a piece of notebook paper and began to write down what was on the whiteboard as Mr. Gaylord began to messily write over the surface.
"No," Angel replied.
Mr. Gaylord looked up from the whiteboard. "Angel, Buffy? Do you mind stopping your little talk show so the rest of the class can learn about the chemical composition of cobalt?"
"Sorry," mumbled Angel.
He and Buffy, along with the rest of their Chemistry class, sat while Mr. Gaylord rambled on and on about cobalt, his element of the day. When the bell finally rang, Angel stuck around for Buffy as she gathered up her books. Together, they walked out into the busy hallway. Buffy spotted Cordelia, Harmony, and Aura coming near her and cursed silently.
"Look, Buffy if you ever need help," Angel started. His back was toward Cordy and Harmony, so he didn't see them approaching.
"Sounds great, bye," shouted Buffy as she ran down the hallway towards her "friends" and away from her friend.
"God, she is just like them. Dammit." *
Angel arrived home; feeling like crap from the way Buffy blew him off. He even declined a ride home with Doyle, opting to ride the bus. He listened to his new Led Zeppelin CD and stared out the window, mulling over what the hell was going on. He knew he felt something for Buffy, and she seemed like she liked him.
But he knew that he wasn't right for her. She was beautiful while he was the ugly duckling. And whatever feelings she had for him where flushed down the toilet when Cordelia, Harmony, and that bitch Aura from New York showed up at the other end of the hallway. She was embarrassed to be with him, so she bolted.
"Mom? Kathy?" shouted Angel. His voice rang out through the halls of their house.
Angel's Mom, Colleen, wandered in from the dining room. "Hi, honey." She kissed her son's forehead gently.
"Are you okay?" She noticed her son's somber disposition.
"No."
Colleen nodded. "Can I help?"
"No."
Angel turned and walked to the stairs. When he touched the banister with his hand, he paused. "Mom, if I looked different, would the girls like me?"
Colleen thought for a moment. There wasn't really a nice way to tell your child what you thought about how he looked. Angel had always been beautiful to Colleen, and she and her husband allowed Angel and Kathy a lot of independence. If Angel wanted to have shaggy hair, more power to him.
"I don't know why the girls don't like you know. A different haircut would be nice, Angel, but listen to me before you speak. You shouldn't have to change the way you are to make people happy. In the end, their opinions don't matter." Angel opened his mouth to speak, but his mother cut him off.
"I know that you'll tell me they do matter, and to you they do. So, I'm telling you this. If cutting your hair would make you feel better, I could call the hairdresser."
Angel nodded. "Okay. I'm going to go upstairs."
Colleen watched her son go up the stairs. Before she could think heavily about it, Angel's sister Kathy burst through the French doors with a girlfriend, asking for cookies and pizza. Colleen turned away from the staircase and headed towards the kitchen, Angel's situation heavy on her mind.
Buffy sat on her bed, an old Eric Clapton song playing on her radio. She used Clapton as a homework helper. Nothing got her thinking like "Layla", but even Clapton's sorrowful tune about George Harrison's wife couldn't get her to focus on her Trig homework.
"Stupid Cordelia. I was just about to talk to Angel, and damn!" Buffy threw her pen across her bedroom. It whacked into her closet door and fell to the floor. She remembered what it was like to be unpopular and unhappy. In fact, Buffy and her family had moved from northern California to Los Angeles because Buffy was so unhappy at her high school in San Francisco.
She promised herself that in Los Angeles, everything would be different. She would be popular if it killed her. Everyday she went to school, she used people and stepped all over them to be the Queen of Mean, and she hated who she was. She sympathized with the people she stepped on; she knew the feeling of a heel in your spine. But she kept on hurting and yelling and using.
But Buffy got her chance to start over in Sunnydale, be herself. She hadn't meant to fall in with Cordelia. Maybe it was the outfit Buffy was wearing that brought the Cordettes over. It was modest, but said, 'Hi, I'm nice. Talk to me!' Cordy and her friends had swarmed her, and Buffy hated it as she fell into old habits. She hated playing the bitch because it wasn't who she was.
Then she saw Angel across the cafeteria at lunch. God, he was gorgeous. Did he even have a clue that he was beautiful? No and it didn't matter to him. Buffy thought that his thick glasses endeared him to her even more, they drew attention to his stunning dark eyes. They were so brown they were almost black- and they were kind eyes. His hair was original, so floppy and free. But it was cute, too. And that facial structure? The girls at Hemery would be drooling by now over his jaw.
But his looks didn't even matter, no matter how beautiful he was behind his disguises. He was a nice guy. Smart, too. He had even volunteered to help her with the Advanced AP Chemistry that she'd never even considered taking before.
So why did she ever listen to Cordelia?
"Cause I'm a coward," Buffy admitted. She angrily flipped off her stereo and got up to retrieve her pencil from the place it was wedged into the carpet.
Two days followed, where Buffy made earnest attempts at conversation and Angel gave her the brush off, wounding her more than she would like to admit. Finally, on Friday, Buffy had had it with his crummy attitude. And she told him so. She confronted him at lunch, cornering him by the row of trashcans.
"What is wrong with you?" Buffy asked. She intimidated him against the wall, where he held his tray shakily.
"What?" Angel asked, looking nervous behind his glasses. He tucked some of his dark hair behind an ear.
"What's wrong with you? I've tried to talk to you for two days and you've given me the brush off! How did I hurt you?" asked Buffy, backing up from his personal space. She looked into his dark eyes, trying to read them.
"Tuesday, in the hall. When you blew me off to see Cordelia. I saw the true you, Buffy. And I decided I didn't want to communicate with such a selfish bitch as you," Angel bit out angrily.
"Selfish bitch? You're the one being selfish! Your head is so far up your ass you can't even breathe!" Buffy shouted.
Several people around them turned to see what was going on. They began to whisper and point, drawing closer to the pair. They were still by the wall, Angel still clutching his red tray.
"I am *not* being selfish, Buffy. I offered my help and you so busy bowing at Cordelia's feet that you ran off!" Angel shouted. "You hurt my fucking feelings! So that's why I gave you the brush off!" He pushed Buffy away from him and pitched his trash into one of the large bins.
Buffy touched his arm. "I didn't want to hurt you. You just don't understand."
"You're right," snapped Angel. He threw his tray down on the silver receiving line. "I don't understand what it's like to be a snobby, selfish sheep!" He ran out of the cafeteria with Doyle trailing him, shouting in Gaelic angrily.
Buffy looked at the small crowd that had been watching them, whispering angrily.
"Shut the fuck up and go eat!"
She dispersed them with a hand. She turned and calmly walked to the bathroom. She had barely locked the stall door before she began to sob.
*
Buffy sat in the bathroom stall; her knees pulled up to her chest, tears streaming down her face. She ripped off a piece of toilet paper and wiped her tears and running mascara from her cheeks. She was afraid to pull the small mirror from her purse; she must look like a clown.
"Hello?" called a voice.
Buffy sat silently in her stall, her knees still quivering.
The girl spoke again. "Buffy?"
Buffy unlocked the stall door and whispered, "In here." Buffy saw the door open wide. In it's wake was a petite redhead drowning in a brown skirt and vest ensemble. She wore a kind smile and offered her hand to Buffy.
"Hi. I'm Willow," said the girl. She turned to the sink and wet a paper towel. She passed it off to Buffy and motioned for her to wipe her cheeks, then watched as the teenager dabbed at her face.
"You know me," Buffy mumbled. "Oh god, this is embarrassing."
"You're in my trig class," Willow admitted. She looked down and stared at her feet. "And it's okay that you're embarrassed. I saw your fight and was worried about you."
"You've never met me and you were worried." Buffy laughed. She picked up her purse and walked to the mirror, hurriedly checking her makeup. She pulled out a tube of frost pink makeup and quickly applied it to her lips, which were still red (the same as her eyes) from crying.
"Angel didn't look that great, either," Willow said. She and Buffy left the bathroom and wandered down the hallway outside the cafeteria. "I've known him for a really long time. He's a very sweet guy. And quite a cutie- but nobody ever seems to pick up on that."
"Believe me, I have," admitted Buffy. She blushed and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, which was as red as her face.
Willow squealed excitedly. "You think he's cute! Oh! He'll be so excited!"
"NO!" shouted Buffy. "You can't tell him that. Just don't tell him." She ran a nervous hand through her bottle-blond hair. "I don't want him to know."
Willow nodded and tucked away that little tidbit of information. "We have a secret. That's so cool!" Her perkiness was contagious, and Buffy was enjoying her company. Willow suddenly shouted out the name "Xander" and waved a tall boy with black hair over.
"Buffy, this is my best friend, Xander Harris. Xander, this is Buffy Summers," Willow said. She motioned to her best friend and then to Buffy, all the while grinning like a fool.
Xander was awestruck. He'd never seen someone so beautiful and he was already lusting after her. "Hey. So, you're the girl who cussed out Angel at lunch, huh?"
"God, news travels fast around here," Buffy mumbled. She shook her head and smiled at Xander reassuringly. She began to walk; Willow and Xander trailed her, laughing and joking. The bell rang shrilly and groups of people began to rush down the hallway.
"I'll see you later," Buffy said as she reached the staircase by Mr. Gaylord's Chemistry lab.
"Maybe we could go to lunch tomorrow!" called out Xander, his loud voice booming in the hallway. Buffy heard Willow's hand connect with Xander's skin and her hiss his name angrily.
Buffy briskly walked to Mr. Gaylord's classroom. When she arrived, she saw her teacher writing that day's notes down on the whiteboard. She greeted him and slid onto her stool at the lab table she and Angel shared.
"Angel," she whispered softly, remembering their oh-so-recent Jerry Springer-esque fight.
She had verbally beaten up on him, and she felt awful for it. But, if one was fair, Angel had called her a snobby bitchy sheep, which wasn't exactly on the lines of 'I think you're gorgeous'. Then there were Willow and Xander, who seemed to be (along with Angel) the only genuine people in the entire building. Buffy was still maintaining an image around Cordy and her sheep, but her façade was increasingly slipping. Sure, Will and Xander and Angel may be dorks, but they were so into their dorkiness it was cool.
"Buffy!" shouted Cordelia. She had ducked into the chemistry room in hopes of talking to her new "friend". "I saw what happened at lunch! It's about time someone yelled at that freakazoid. God, what made you do it?"
"I don't know," Buffy admitted, "I was just angry."
Cordelia smiled and gave a high-pitched laugh. She pulled a piece of notebook paper from her Chanel purse. "Oh, by the way- Riley wrote you a note." She saw Buffy's look of confusion and elaborated. "Riley Finn. The captain of the football team."
Buffy pasted on a fake smile and accepted the note from Cordy's manicured fingers. "Well, okay. I'll read it and get back to him." The bell rang and Cordelia quickly scooted out of the room. Angel walked in, his hair in his eyes, shortly after Cordelia left.
He sat stonily on his stool, playing with the eraser on his pencil idly.
"I'm sorry," Buffy said. She was fed up with his standoffish behavior, and now he was just plain pissed at her. "I shouldn't have yelled at you, especially not in front of all of those people." Angel was silent. "Accept my apology if you want."
Angel nodded and said, "Okay. I forgive you. Just don't do it again."
Buffy grinned and said, "I won't." She leaned down and pulled the note from her pocket, where she had safely tucked it away. She scanned it quickly, her eyes flickering at every word.
"Who's that from?" Angel asked curiously.
Buffy hastily folded the note up. "Uh, no one." She sighed. "Riley Finn."
"Oh," said Angel with a voice full of hurt. He looked down at his hands, which rested on his chemistry book. Anything to take his mind off the jealous twinge he felt.
"Hope you two are very happy together."
"Angel," Buffy teased, "we're not getting married. Besides, I'm not even sure if I want to go to this Fall Formal thing with him. He asked- according to Cordelia, who's never a very reliable source because she's a complete bitch and oh boy, I'm rambling."
Angel grinned and said, "Well, just let me know where you and Riley will register."
"Very funny."
She playfully slapped his shoulder and laughed, completely oblivious to the fact that they were being watched.
*
Riley Finn looked at Cordelia across the table at the Pizza Place.
"Look, Cordy, it's really nice that you want to fix me up with Buffy and everything, but I saw her. I saw her with Angel O'Shannon today in chemistry, laughing it up," Riley told Cordelia. "And if she's that buddy-buddy with a nerd, well…"
"Look," said Cordelia. She turned on the charm. "It's not like that. Buffy has more of a sympathy case for Angel anyway. She feels bad that he's such a loser."
Riley shook his head and patted his varsity letters than ran down the sleeve of his gold-and-burgundy jacket. "I dunno if I want to sacrifice my popularity-and all eight of my varsity letters- for some nerd sympathizer."
"It's just some charity pity gig, Rye. Don't worry about it. Buffy's new, and obviously into you. I mean, she was checking you out the other day at Senior Circle." The lie dropped convincingly from Cordelia's lips, and she watched as Riley bought it completely.
Riley smiled, though his hand still rested protectively over his varsity row. "And she's a sexy little number. Probably real kinky."
Cordelia just gave a grin to Riley, displaying a set of perfect white teeth that were an orthodontist's dream. "I gave her the note. It's in the bag."
Riley's oft-dormant conscience seemed to nag at him for a moment. "Why do you want to do this, Cordelia? Buffy's beautiful, possibly more beautiful than you, and you want her to go out with me."
Cordelia laughed and twirled her straw in her diet coke. "Because I know she'll fall flat on her ass. She's a threat, Riley, and not too much of a follower. I mean, she won't make a great sheep because she has a mind of her own. She's destined for downfall, and you can help her there. Catapult her, so to speak."
The team captain nodded and ignored the trepidation clawing at his stomach. He didn't like this. Not one bit.
Buffy stood in front of her bedroom mirror. Willow had invited her to the Bronze to see Oz play with the Dingoes, and Buffy was using this as a welcome excuse to distance herself from Cordelia. It had been almost three weeks since Buffy had received Riley's note, and they had exchanged phone numbers, but Buffy just wasn't interested in dating anyone.
Willow, Xander, and Oz had welcomed Buffy into their group with open arms, but Buffy was still afraid to take the plunge. Willow and Xander were quickly becoming good friends, but Buffy was still quite hesitant about befriending them. She would fall prey to the nerdhood that she had lived in San Francisco. They better people than Cordy and Harmony, but the will to be someone was still pulling at her, no matter who she liked more.
She held a red dress up to her body, liking the way it swayed out a little bit after catching her hips.
"Hi, honey. Where are you going tonight? Oh, I like that dress," said Joyce. She smiled at her daughter.
"Bronze," replied Buffy. She stepped behind her changing screen and slipped on her dress. The screen was black and gold and straight for Korea. Her father had bought it on a business trip as a birthday gift. Buffy's parents had been divorced for several years, ever since Buffy was twelve.
"Are you meeting Cordelia there?" Joyce continued.
"God, no." Buffy slipped on a pair of chunky platforms and shifted towards her makeup table. She picked up a tube of frosty pink lipstick and tucked it into her purse. "I'm meeting Willow and Xander. Willow's boyfriend is playing in the band."
"A little dressy for just some friends," Joyce teased lightly. "Are you sure you're not dressing up for someone in particular?"
Buffy shook her head. "Course not." She looked down and checked her watch. "Gotta motor. The band starts at eight." *
The real reason Buffy went to the Bronze, shielded behind the 'need to see Oz's band' was that she was secretly hoping Angel would show up. Everything had gotten confusing with them in the last week or so. Buffy had been talking to him, relying on his support more than ever, and Angel seemed to be pulling back. He was almost pushing her away.
*Shoving me away if you wanna get particular. *
Buffy kept her eyes secured on the door. Willow, Doyle (a friend by association), and Xander had staked out the two couches by the snack bar. The Dingoes were set to play in twenty minutes, and Buffy would probably join the others in a minute. Xander had told her that Angel was planning on making an appearance, but Angel was always kind of skittish on his plans.
Finally, a figure walked through the door. Buffy was disappointed when she saw that it was only Riley. Riley was making a beeline towards her, a goofy grin on his face. As always, his pet jacket was along for the ride. Buffy was pretty sure that Riley was planning on being buried with the damn thing.
"Hey, Buffy," said Riley. He approached Buffy and stopped across from her, blocking her view of the doorway.
"Riley, hi," said Buffy, her irritation evident in her tone.
Riley shot Buffy his toothpaste ad smile. "I was wondering if we could dance later on."
"Okay, Riley," Buffy relented.
*If Angel's gonna blow me off, I'll just dance with Riley. See if that gets him to pay attention.*
"We'll dance during the break between sets."
*
Angel walked through the front door of the Bronze after paying at the door. He was wearing a dark black shirt and jeans, a little more dressy than usual. His hair was still in his face, and the tips still brushed the rims of his glasses. So, no, he hadn't gone out of his way with dealing with the unnecessary hair factor.
"Angel!" shouted out Willow. "Over here!" The redhead waved her arm in the air to flag him over.
Angel grinned. He and Willow had known each other for years and had been acquaintances for a while. They hadn't really hung out until Buffy came into the equation. They had formed a group- Xander, Willow, Doyle, Oz, himself, and Buffy. It was a comfortable gathering and Angel had no qualms about this.
Willow was sitting next to Doyle, who was gazing at Cordelia with a bit of drool running down his chin. Angel sat down in a hard-backed rocking chair of sorts and smiled at Willow.
"Hey, Willow, where's Buffy?" Angel asked.
Willow looked down at her feet, at the band warming up, even at the two kissing women by the iron stairs.
"Willow?" Angel asked again.
"Uh…uh…" started Willow. The words just weren't forming.
"She's dancing with Riley Finn, mate," Doyle finished for his stammering computer whiz friend. He pointed to the dance floor.
Angel felt his heart dive into his stomach. Indeed, Buffy and Riley were together on the dance floor. Buffy was smiling and laughing and having a wonderful time. Suddenly, she turned to face him and caught his eye. She smiled and waved.
Buffy waved at Angel, who was sitting in a rocking chair by their mutual buds. *Mission accomplished. * She watched as Angel slowly un-balled his fist and gave a weak wave though his hand was shaking with anger.
Riley noticed this and said, "Waving to the dork?"
"Huh? Oh, no. I was waving at Cordy, but she didn't see me," Buffy quickly covered. The song was ending, and she stepped out of Riley's embrace. "Thanks for the dance." She hurried off of the dance floor and joined her friends. She noticed that Angel abruptly got up and headed towards the drink bar.
Willow leaned over to Buffy. "He's hurt, Buffy. Really hurt."
"Why would he be hurt?" Buffy asked. "It was one dance. It didn't mean anything."
Willow just shook her head. She grabbed her friend by the elbow and dragged her off to the women's restroom, hissing in angry whispers. Buffy was surprised to see Willow get this angry over one little dance. Willow yanked her into the bathroom and they moved over to a radiator to conference.
"It meant something to him, Buffy. You know that he likes you," Willow whispered, her eyes wide with anger.
Buffy was frozen. Willow had just voiced Buffy's most concealed hope. She stared at her friend in awe. She stared at Willow for a moment or two more before attempting to open her mouth. Willow promptly cut her off, continuing her tirade.
"Figure out what to do, Buffy," said Willow. "Because you can't drag Angel around like this, because sooner or later he'll end up hating you." She spun on her heel and ditched Buffy standing by the radiator.
The door to a nearby stall swung open and Cordelia sauntered out, her knee length red leather skirt hugging her hips as she approached the sink.
"I don't even want to know what that was about," Cordelia muttered as she washed her hands. She wiped them off on a paper towel and dug a tube of lipstick out of her seven hundred dollar Gucci Purse.
"Because I could have sworn that I heard you and Willow Rosenberg talking about, get this, Angel O'Shannon. Isn't that insane?" Cordelia asked in a syrupy voice. She closed her tube of lipstick with a clack. She neared the door, and turned around while her hand lingered on the handle.
"Don't blow it, Buffy," Cordelia hissed with green venom in her voice. "Riley Finn wants you. Don't fuck it up to date some dweebazoid computer nerd. Cause if you do, you'll be lower on the popularity pole than your Captain Kirk Wannabe Boyfriend." Cordy swung open the door and let it slam. *
Buffy made her way back into the Bronze. She saw Angel, Doyle, and Xander talking at the group of sofas and chairs. She was making her way over when Riley stepped in her path, an orange drink swaying in his large hand.
"Hey, Buffy."
Buffy gave a smile and pretended to act interested. "Hi, Riley."
"I was wondering if you wanted to go to the football game next week," Riley said, "I'm starting Q.B., and if you waited we could get some pizza afterwards."
"Lemme think about it, okay?" Buffy asked. "I have a lot going on next week, so just let me see. But that sounds great." She walked past Riley and flopped down on the saffron yellow couch that Willow and Oz were occupying.
Angel looked up from the conversation he and the others were having. He had watched Buffy and Willow go to the bathroom from his place in line at the bar. He saw Willow storm out, then Cordelia, and finally the woman he was waiting for. She was coming over to the group and then got intercepted by Riley.
It was all his fault that Buffy was even talking to Riley. He assumed that Buffy's dance with Riley was just to get back at him for some imagined offense; she had smiled and waved as though she were having the time of her life. It made his blood boil. He had been pulling away from her because even though they were friends, he was slowly building a romantic interest in her. He remembered when it first began, when he first realized he was falling for her. //Flashback, One Week Earlier//
Buffy stood on Angel's doorstep with a butt load of Chemistry books and notes in her arms. She and Angel had arranged to get together at his house for a study jam for their huge mid-term. The door swung open and Angel was standing in front of her. She was awed by how he looked.
He wore a wifebeater and black sweatpants and his feet were bare. Buffy noticed that he had arm muscles, a quality that she looked for in guys.
"Buffy, great, you're here," Angel said with a bit too much pep. He took several of the Chem books from her arms and led her into the dining room, where a bunch of study supplies were set up.
"Wow," said Buffy. She approached a small oil painting on the wall. "Who painted this?"
"I did," Angel said. "It's from a picture that my parents took on their Honeymoon in Hawaii."
"It's beautiful," Buffy said. "You're a gifted artist."
Angel looked down and blushed. "Thanks." He motioned to the books on the table. "Let's get started." He pulled out a chair for Buffy to sit in, then sat down next to her.
They began to review basic bonds, such as covalent and hydrogen. He couldn't help but stare at her while she wrote down notes in her swirling handwriting. He thought she was gorgeous but would never say so. There were a lot of roadblocks in the way, one being that she was immensely popular and he was a dud. He was torn between backing off and saying 'to hell with this' and asking her to the movies. Angel was bound by the same social code he despised.
Buffy glanced from her notes to see Angel staring at her. She smiled sweetly at him, not knowing what to say. She noticed how his eyes lit up as he smiled in reply, with teeth that were an not only an orthodontist's but a dentist's dream. She hesitantly reached up and slipped his glasses from his face, then brushed the hair from his eyes gently.
"Wow," said Buffy, "Meet the hidden hunk." Her eyes widened as she realized what she had just said. "Oh, my god." Buffy buried her face in her hands out of sheer embarrassment. "Oh, god. I cannot believe I just *said* that."
While Buffy laughed into her hands, Angel felt a sense of pride he'd never felt before. Buffy had called him a hunk.
And that's when he knew.
//End Flashback//
* Buffy sat in the crowd at Sunnydale High's Football field. She had dragged herself to the football game Riley invited her to two days before at the Bronze. She still didn't know why the hell she was there, waving burgundy and yellow pompoms around cowbell-ringing football fans. She had agreed to go out with Riley at lunch on Monday. She felt Angel watching her the entire time as she accepted Riley's invitation.
"Why, why, why?" Buffy asked herself as fans around her stood up and screamed.
There were no mushy-gushy feelings for Riley. Hell, Buffy barely liked him as a person. He was a conceited pig with an ego the size of Wisconsin. But Cordelia had been shoving it down her throat to just "try it" with Riley. Buffy, still uncertain of her own social future, swallowed her pride (and her fluffy feelings for her Chem partner) and decided to go out with Riley.
It was like her situation became more difficult everyday. There was the popularity Buffy always dreamed of just within her reach. There was the quarterback boyfriend-guy who was into her. There were the name-brand-wearing bitches that treated Buffy like shit half of the time. Then there were the "losers", one of the people Buffy had been. They were nice, and Buffy even had a prospective honey in the group. If only he liked himself more. If only he had more confidence in his ability and his natural born beauty that he hid from the world.
Yes, her situation was extremely stereotypical. But her high school was stereotypical, almost like something you'd see on TV. People in lettermen's jackets swarmed around. Some of them were nice; most of them were not. Other people clawed desperately for attention still others were so into their lower class status that they were cool. People like Angel and Willow.
She was torn between the life that she wanted to live and life she couldn't seem to escape.
Riley bounded up the rows of bleachers after the game, sweaty and dirty from the game. He was smiling broadly, though there were clumps of grass all over his arms and legs and his lip was split.
"Hi, Buffy. I'm glad you could come," he said, breaking her out of her thoughts.
Buffy looked up and smiled faintly. "Hey, Riley. Are you…planning on going like that to get pizza?"
Riley laughed as though he'd never heard anything as absurd in his entire life. "No, Buffy. I'm gonna go shower. I'll meet you outside the locker room in twenty minutes. Okay?"
"Whatever," Buffy replied, motioning carelessly with her hand. She picked up her yellow and burgundy pompoms and her jacket from the bleacher and followed him down the field.
Riley appeared from the long tunnel leading to the field. His jersey was folded over his shoulder as he walked out. Upon seeing Buffy, he tilted his head back in a chauvinistic nod. Buffy rolled her eyes.
"Ready?" Riley asked excitedly.
Buffy glanced at her watch then looked at him in disappointment. "Actually, I'm not. I need to head home, Riley. It's getting late…" Her voice trailed off.
Riley nodded and said, "Okay. I'll drive you home."
"Great," said Buffy. She let him lead her from the field. *
Willow walked down the hallway, her arm linked with Oz's. She was sucking on a cherry lollipop as though she had not a care in the world, but looks can be deceiving. Her mind was actually racing; she was worrying about Buffy and Angel. Okay, so she shouldn't be smushing them together into a couple like that, but Willow couldn't help it. They were so *right* for each other, and it was stupid that something like social status was coming between them.
Then there was the whole Riley thing. Buffy had called Willow the night before after the football game, telling her that she ditched Riley after the game. The computer whiz was somewhat relieved- Buffy hadn't really "gone out" with him. That was a plus. But the whole senior class was talking about Buffy and Riley, thanks to Cordelia.
The whole Buffy/Angel situation was really putting a lot of stresses on the group. Everyone knew that Angel liked her, and everyone knew that Buffy felt something for Angel. The awkward silences told it all; where there used to be laughs and giggles, little pokes and teases, there was now deafening silence.
And every day, it seemed like Angel's heart broke just a little bit more as he watched Buffy and Riley and their pseudo-ship. They weren't technically dating, but Riley had shown some interest in her. And Buffy was using Riley to escape whatever she felt for Angel. It was a lose/lose situation for everybody, especially poor Angel, who had nothing to win.
"And I used to wonder why Angel closed himself off," Willow mumbled as she and Oz entered the cafeteria. "He didn't want to get hurt."
Oz nodded and squeezed her arm. He was a man of few words, but his motions portrayed all feelings and observations. He motioned toward a circular table where Angel and Doyle were sitting.
"Hey, Angel. Doyle," said Willow. She hopped up on a white stool and placed her brown paper bag on the tabletop. She opened it up and dug through it, causing the bag to rustle.
Angel grunted and didn't bother looking up from his breadsticks.
"You'll have to 'Scuse Angel here. He's a bit on the grim today," Doyle said. He unscrewed the lid of his Coke and took a drink, his eyes never leaving Cordelia who was heading towards the courtyard doors.
Oz spoke up, speaking directly toward Angel. "Move on, man."
"It's not that simple."
Everyone was taken back by Angel's harsh and angry tone. He looked up from his breadsticks on his tray. "It's not just that I fell for her and then she dragged me through the mud. It's not even that she broke my heart into a trillion pieces. It's that we can't even be friends anymore because she's turned into a vapid, shallow bitch." He sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair.
"Even if we couldn't have been…I would rather us been friends than what we are now- nothing at all."
"She has done a bit of a 360," Oz agreed solemnly. He ripped open a box of Animal Crackers.
"A *bit* of a 360?" spoke up Xander, who joined the group. "More like a three thousand sixty." He dragged a stool to the table and motioned for Doyle to scoot over.
"Can we change the subject, please?" Angel asked in exasperation.
Xander glanced at his friend. He understood what Angel was going through, more than the others did. When Buffy had first come to Sunnydale, Xander saw her as some kind of blond goddess and he fell in lust with her. And she was cool for a while. Then she succumbed to the Wrath of Cordy and turned into an Uber-Bitch.
"Sure," Willow said sympathetically. "Anybody see the special on Steve Jobs last night?"
*
Buffy looked across the cafeteria. Angel, Willow, and all of their friends sat laughing and talking at the lunch table. They were a group she was no longer a part of and it stung. She had removed herself from a group of people that genuinely liked her. She even blew off the guy who was perfect for her just because she had some selfish need to be "beautiful".
She felt an arm drape across her shoulder. She knew it was Riley without even turning around.
"Ready, Buffy?" Riley asked. "If we don't hurry, we won't leave in time."
"Sure," Buffy agreed reluctantly. She realized that the path to the courtyard doors and parking lot went right past Angel's table. They approached it in what seemed like slow motion, and Angel turned as if on cue to face her. Their eyes locked and Buffy had to look away, feeling tears well in her eyes.
She practically sprinted to the parking lot.
*
Cordelia spun in front of the mirror at the Dior store. She held a long evening gown against her body, admiring herself and imagining her body in the dress. It was navy blue with dark rhinestones that lessened as the bodice went upwards.
"I just love the Winter Formal," Cordelia called out, "don't you?"
Buffy appeared from behind a rack of evening gowns. Slowly and unenthusiastically she replied, "Oh, yeah, just love it."
Harmony added, "I can't believe it's already December!"
Buffy held up a long blood red gown. She ran a hand over the silky material, loving the feel of the fabric beneath her fingertips. She noted the small silver band she wore on her ring finger, an "advance Christmas Gift" from her boyfriend. Buffy snorted at the word "boyfriend".
"Oh, Buffy," Harmony cooed. "That dress is *so* perfect for you. Riley will *love* it."
"Fabulous," muttered Buffy with a roll of her eyes. She turned around and was about to put the dress back on the rack when she ran smack into someone.
Willow.
"Hi, Willow," said Buffy. Her hand still clutched the gown. She looked down, knowing she had screwed everything up with Willow and the gang, and knowing that Willow was silently pulverizing her to death with her eyes.
"Hi, Buffy," Willow said warmly. "Ooh, a dress for Winter Formal?"
*How can she act like nothing's changed? How can she act like I didn't dump them to be pretty and popular? God, I'm such a bitch. *
"Yeah," Buffy said. She began to walk towards the counter, and Willow followed her. Buffy noticed the garter in Willow's hand. "Gift for Oz?"
Willow's eyes widened. "Oh, no! This is for my cousin's wedding. I volunteered to pick it up." She blushed furiously as she put the garter on the counter. "You should get the dress, Buffy. It's beautiful."
"Should I? I guess I could," Buffy said with a shrug of her shoulders. She found the pricetag and tapped it for emphasis as she said, "A little pricey."
"It'll be worth it," Willow reassured her. Her eyes lit up with an idea. "I know you're here with Cordy and Harmony, but do you wanna go to the Food Court with me after you're done paying for your gown?"
Buffy's eyes skittered over to Cordy and Harmony, who were engrossed in a shoe display. "Sure, I'd love to."
After Buffy and Willow paid for their respective items, they left the Dior store. Cordy and Harmony didn't even notice that they left.
"How is everybody?" Buffy asked.
"He's fine," Willow told her, not wanting to beat around the bush. "Better now. It doesn't hurt him as much as it did, but he's still in love with you."
"Willow, I didn't…" started Buffy. Willow cut her off.
"Yeah, you did. He misses you, Buffy. We all miss you."
Willow and Buffy walked into the food court and found a table near the back of the restaurant. Buffy fidgeted with the menu nervously, not knowing what to say next. Thankfully, Willow saved her from speaking.
"What you did to us was awful, Buffy."
"I know," Buffy finally squeaked out. "You think I don't know that?"
"But it was also understandable," Willow continued. "You used to be popular, and you wanted to be that again. You knew as well as the rest of us did that you couldn't be popular and hang out with us. So, you made a choice. A completely human choice."
"How can you even say this to me?" Buffy asked. "Why are you being so nice to me? It was like one day you guys were my best friends and the next day I totally desert you."
Willow snorted. "Well, it's nice that you know what you did."
Buffy looked up and was shocked. Willow's mood seemed to change in a snap. "I didn't mean to make you mad, Willow."
"Well, you did!" shouted Willow. She took a breath and regained her composure. "How do you think we felt when you *dumped* us, Buffy? We felt hurt and angry. And Angel…Angel was crushed. You *broke his heart*, Buffy, and you didn't even care!"
"YES, I DID!" Buffy shouted.
Several restaurant patrons turned to face the two women. Buffy looked down in embarrassment. She took a moment and closed her eyes.
"Willow, the reason I went out with Riley was because of Angel," Buffy said.
"You could have told him you didn't like him," Willow bit out. She stirred her straw around in her glass of ice water the waiter had delivered.
"I had a crush on him, Willow, and I was afraid. So, I bailed. Are you a happy Willow now? I liked him and I blew it!" Buffy looked at Willow apologetically. "I'm sorry. I'm just really confused about everything."
"Tell me about it," Willow offered. "Maybe I can help you."
Buffy sighed and bumped her head on the table several times. She stirred her coke nervously, rolling the red straw between her thumb and forefinger. She looked up at Willow and hastily wiped a few tears away.
"It's nothing," Buffy said.
"It's something, or you wouldn't be crying," Willow said. "Please. Tell me."
"Like I said, I'm confused. I hang out with Cordelia and Harmony because I feel like I have to. Riley, on the other hand, is kind of out of necessity. I was lonely, and he was there…"
"So was Angel," rationalized Willow. "He was there, too."
"I was afraid."
"Afraid of giving up your popularity crown to date a guy who really likes you for you? Buffy, you were being selfish- plain and simple," Willow told her. "You weren't like this before!"
"I *was* like this in Los Angeles. When I lived in San Francisco years ago, I was unpopular. I was probably more unpopular than Gary, that kid who eats his own boogers in Algebra, okay? I was really far down there. When we moved to Los Angeles, I was determined to make it better. To do this, I had to step on everyone under me and be a total bitch just to reign. I was worse than Cordelia.
"I took after the captain of the varsity squad. Her name was Darla Harrison. She was beautiful and the queen of everything. She was Homecoming Queen, Fiesta Queen, Prom Queen. I never thought we were friends because I knew that we weren't. I was just a muse, someone she used to mold in her own shadow to carry on the legacy.
"Then I came to Sunnydale. I didn't know who I was anymore. And I met Angel, and I was like, 'Wow, he's a beautiful guy and a nice person'. And he *liked* me for who I was, not that I was hot or something. So here I am, screwing it up."
Buffy locked eyes with Willow. "Forgive me, Willow. I was a self-centered, selfish bitch and I'm sorry."
"I forgive you, Buffy. Do you want to be friends again, though? Not just with me, but with everybody? I know the guys would take you back in a second. It might take Angel longer, but he'll come around. You never forget a broken heart," Willow said softly, a smile lingering on her lips. She remembered her first broken heart, her crush on Xander. "This is gonna sound so mean, but let me think about it," Buffy said. "There's Formal coming up, and coronation. I'm probably going to be on the decorations committee and that's a lot to think about right there. I just mean that I'm not going to have any time. How about something at my house over Christmas? A get together or party?"
"Sounds great."
*
Willow and Buffy stood in the busy cafeteria. It was raining, so a lot of students had opted to stay in during lunch. Willow spotted the Scooby Gang sitting at a long rectangular table, not their normal one. She waved to Doyle, who flickered his fingers in reply. His eyes skittered over Buffy and he raised an eyebrow as to say, 'She back?'
Willow just grinned and nodded at Doyle. She led the way to the table where everyone was sitting. "Buffy has something she wants to say."
"Ooh, this ought to be intelligent," snapped Xander.
"Shut up," Angel barked in reply. He glanced up at Buffy. "Go ahead."
Buffy took in a deep breath. She looked at each of the people at the table for a moment, her eyes lingering on Angel for the longest time. "I'm sorry. I was a selfish bitch for just leaving you guys like that. There are reasons I left the group…reasons I don't wanna talk about-they're very personal. But most of them were pretty selfish. I wanted to be somebody I wasn't, and I'm sorry."
Oz nodded, and with his coke can against his lips he said, "Come on, sit down." He patted the spot on the other side of his body, the side Willow wasn't on.
"Welcome back, Lass," Doyle said with a smile.
Angel brushed several stray hairs out of his eyes and looked up at Buffy quickly, a fleeting smile crossing his face. "I'm glad you're back."
"So am I," said Buffy. She pulled a bottle of tonic water from her shoulder bag and popped the lid.
"What about Cordelia and Harmony?" Xander asked. "They're going to be mighty pissed that you're sitting with us."
"I can't pretend like I don't care what they think, because I do. I'm gonna try to do both, Xander. Hang out with you and pay my dues with them."
A slow smile finally appeared on Xander's face. "So, tell us, Buff. How was it with the beautiful people?"
*
Winter Formal soon rolled around. It was on the night before Christmas Break started. Everyone was in a festive mood because the can drive had been successful and finals were over. The Bronze was decorated in shining blue and silver foil, Christmas lights, and snowflakes that hung from the ceiling. Willow and Buffy had headed up the decorations committee themselves, with all of their mutual friends also pitching in. Buffy had decided the best way to get herself out of the red with the gang was to invite them to help her with the decorations committee.
Willow and Oz went to the formal together. Xander found a date with his Algebra Tutor, Anya Emerson. Doyle went with a friend of his from the Sunnydale Irish Club; a girl named Tabitha. Angel was the only one out of the group who went stag. Of course, Buffy went with Riley.
Angel walked into the Bronze. A live band was playing Christmas songs on the stage. Each of the band members was wearing a Santa hat and the Mic stand was lined in garland and lights. He stood by the doorway, trying to blend into the shadows.
"Angel, you look great," said Willow as she entered, her arm linked with Oz's.
Angel patted his black shirt. "Thanks. My, uh, mother picked it out for me."
"And the leather pants? Nice touch," added Oz with a grin.
They drifted off to stake out a table, leaving Angel to linger near the door. He was waiting to see Buffy. Ever since Willow and Buffy had made up, Buffy had been spending more time with the group after school. They had slowly been rebuilding their friendship, though it took what felt like forever.
"Angel?" came a soft voice from behind him. He turned.
Buffy stood in the doorway of the Bronze. She wore a beautiful red evening gown. Around her neck was a pearl necklace, her fingers were bare except for a small silver band that was Riley's.
"You look…beautiful," Angel said after regaining his voice.
Buffy grinned and said, "You look great, too. I like the leather pants. Kinda sexy." Her grin only grew, letting him know that she was teasing him.
"Buffy?" called a third voice. The pair turned to see Riley saunter through the entrance.
"Riley," said Buffy in…disappointment? She gave him a fake smile and reluctantly took his elbow.
Angel glanced at the couple for a moment. They just didn't fit; they were like two mismatching puzzle pieces; they belonged to two different puzzles. Angel could barely deny the fact that he thought Buffy looked just right next to him. He gave Riley a smile that was neither kind nor cruel. It was a bland smile. Riley's was the same way.
"We had better go," said Riley. "They're crowning the court in ten minutes." He dragged Buffy away from Angel and left the leather-wearing brunette stranded by the door. *
Willow glanced up at the stage. Giddily, she said, "Do you think Buffy made the court?"
Xander grinned. "I dunno, Will. Wouldn't it be great?" He patted Anya's hand. His eyes shifted over to Angel, who was trying his best to have a good time despite the depressing sight of Buffy and Riley. Angel looked up and smiled grimly.
Deafening feedback rang out in the Bronze, causing people to yell and squeal. Percy West, star of the basketball team, was at the Mic. In his hand was an envelope sealed with a gold sticker. "In this envelope I have the names of members of the Formal court."
He ripped through the envelope.
"First attendant…Harmony Kendall."
A squeal was heard and Harmony made her way up to the stage, bouncing and giggling. She threw her arms around Percy and kissed him full on the mouth in front of 400 stunned seniors. All Percy could do was laugh.
"Second attendant is Aura Ryan."
Aura made her way up to the stage, squealing and wiping tears away from her face.
"Third attendant…Holly Charleston."
Percy was handed a second envelope containing the king and queen's names. "Our Formal King is Riley Finn, and our Queen is…Buffy Summers!"
Buffy made her way up on the stage, genuinely shocked. She accepted her bouquet of roses shakily, and Percy placed the tiara on her head, tucking it neatly into her hairdo. Riley came up afterwards, and Buffy placed the gaudy crown studded with plastic jewels on her boyfriend's head.
Riley took Buffy's hand possessively and they bowed and thanked the audience. Buffy locked eyes with Angel from across the room, and she felt like melting when a stunning smile of pride crossed his face and slowly began to glimmer in his eyes. Buffy moved towards the stairs leading to the floor and staggered down them, not quite sure of what she was doing.
Riley followed his girlfriend, who was being mobbed by a group of Cordettes eager for the spotlight. He pushed through them and kissed his girlfriend soundly on the lips. "You did great, baby."
"Don't call me that," said Buffy. She flung the roses against his chest. "Have the damn flowers. They keep poking me." She pushed her way through the crowd that was curiously missing Cordelia, who was most likely off fuming somewhere.
"Buffy, what…?" Started Riley, realizing he was staring at her retreating back.
Buffy had joined her friends across the room, and had even handed her tiara off to Willow, who was wearing it proudly. Xander, Oz, and Doyle each took their turns hugging her. Buffy looked around for Angel and spotted him by the door. His leather jacket was on; he looked ready to go.
"Angel! Angel," said Buffy breathlessly as she came up by him. "Are you leaving?"
Angel nodded and touched her cheek. "Yeah. But you looked great up there Buffy. Congratulations." Buffy looked at him and noticed that there was something green hanging from the doorframe. It was mistletoe hanging above their heads. A tiny smile played upon her frosted pink lips, as she asked, "Aren't you going to kiss me?"
Angel looked bewildered. "Huh?"
Buffy simply pointed upwards and to the plant dangling above their heads.
"I guess," said Angel in a nonchalant way. He placed his thumb beneath her chin and tilted her head up. He kissed her gently and quickly, then pulled away before anyone could notice what was going on.
Buffy opened her eyes and took a step away from him. "I'll see you at my Christmas Party, right?"
"No," Angel said sadly, "I'll be in Ireland with my parents. We're going to Dublin."
Buffy grinned. "That's great. I'll see you when you get home, then, okay? Send me a postcard."
"Count on it." With that, Angel was gone. Buffy's fingers slowly made their way to her lips and she recalled their quick yet meaningful Christmas kiss.
Their first kiss.
*
On the second to last night of Christmas Break, Buffy had the gang over for a Christmas Slumber Party/Video Fest. And Buffy was kind of glad Angel wasn't there; it would have been really uncomfortable. He would be coming home from Dublin the next day just in time to go to school. He hadn't sent her one postcard, though. He'd sent her eight.
That night, as Willow and Buffy crawled into their sleeping bags, Buffy rolled over to face her redheaded friend.
"Will?"
"Hmm?"
Buffy sighed and blew a few of her wispy bangs out of her eyes. "I kissed Angel."
"WHAT?" squeaked Willow excitedly. "You WHAT? WHEN?"
Buffy saw her friend's grin through the darkness. "At the Winter Formal. Right after I got crowned Winter Formal Queen- by the way, what a load of shit."
"You don't mean that," Willow told her friend. She reached out and touched Buffy's arms. "You deserved it, Buffy. Way more than Cordy."
"But I *became* her, Will. And I still hang out with her. It's like I have this ridiculous self-absorbed side of me who wants to be popular, like I used to be. I hate that."
Willow nodded. "Old habits die hard. And everybody's a bit narcissistic. Comes with the age group. But you're back with us, and you and Angel kissed. Wait a minute! You said that just to get my mind off of your Christmas Smoochies. Share, share, that's fair!"
Buffy grinned. "I saw him getting ready to leave after the crowning, and I went over to see him. Somebody sneaky," Buffy shot Willow a look, "put mistletoe above the door. I asked him if we were gonna kiss, and he said I guess. We kissed, he motored, history was made."
"I *never* put mistletoe above the door, Buffy," Willow said. "That was Xander."
"I cannot believe him!"
"Shh," grumbled Xander sleepily from his sleeping bag.
"Sorry," Buffy said in a whisper.
"He only put it up there to have smoochies with Anya," Willow whispered to Buffy. "He didn't get any, either."
"What a loser," joked Buffy, throwing a stuffed seal at her sleeping friend.
"Hey," said Oz, "what was that for?"
"Sorry!" squealed Buffy and Willow. They buried into their sleeping bags and giggled hysterically.
Cordelia and Riley sat, once again, at the Pizza Place in the Sunnydale Mall.
Cordelia leaned across the table and whispered, "Did you see her at the Winter Formal?" The she in particular was Buffy.
"No," said Riley slowly. "Why?"
Cordelia glanced down at her cheese and olive pizza and poked it for a moment. "Because she and Angel O'Shannon kissed. In front of absolutely *everyone* at the Formal."
Riley coughed painfully. "What?" He frowned, and then a smile slipped across his wan face. "Very funny, Cordelia. Hah, hah, hah."
"I'm not joking," Cordelia said icily. She wiped her oiled fingers off on a white napkin. "You think I'd joke about something as sick and twisted as Buffy and Angel locking lips at the Winter Formal? Hell, no." She laughed with pure acid in her tone. "They were all over each other. Like two dogs. Yeah, like two wild dogs."
"I don't believe you, Cordelia. Not one fucking bit," Riley said defensively. He reached for his jacket that was draped across the back of his chair. He slipped one arm through and was about to do the other when Cordelia angrily tapped her fingernails and the lacquered tabletop.
"I'm not lying, Riley. Okay, so I elaborated somewhat. But they did kiss; under the mistletoe by the door of the Bronze," Cordelia said. She clamped her hand down around Riley's wrist.
"You told me she wasn't hot for him," Riley said with raised eyebrows. "You lied. She is."
"Look, I don't know whether she's hot for the Skywalker-wannabe. I could ask, but it'd be like pulling teeth." Cordelia rolled her eyes while sighing, her manicured nails still tapping the tabletop.
Riley finished pulling on his yellow and burgundy jacket. He placed his elbows and the table and rested his chin in the palm of his right hand. His eyes studied Cordelia's face for a moment. She had dark brown eyes, perfectly sculpted yet anorexic eyebrows. She had defined and hollowed cheekbones, not to mention a small beauty mark on her cheek. She was a dark beauty, yes, but her soul was probably even darker. Even more black.
"Cordelia," Riley said, "I want you to leave Buffy alone."
"What?" squawked Cordelia. She brought a hand to her throat. "Buffy is my *friend* Riley. I would *never* do anything to hurt her."
"Yeah right, and Elvis didn't die fat," smirked Riley. "All I'm saying is you crafted a plan to hurt Buffy, to have her fall on her ass. And by telling me this, you want to start the rumor mill and ruin Buffy's life. I won't stand for it, Cordy. It's not fair."
"When did you get to be all chivalrous, Riley. You wanted this just as bad as I…oh, my god. You're in love with her! You…you traitorous son of a bitch!"
Riley looked down at the table for a moment, studying the pattern of the wood grain. "Maybe. I don't know. But I do know I care enough about her not to have you destroy her." Riley got up and started to leave.
"What if she does like him, Riley? What if Buffy dumps you for a nerd?!" shouted Cordy as Riley neared the exit.
"Then she dumps me for a nerd," Riley shot back, "but it's a hellova lot better than being cheated on with a nerd." *
Buffy slammed her locker door shut and turned to face Willow.
"Angel is back from Dublin, right?" Willow asked.
"Oh, yeah," said Buffy. "I've been counting the days and I've memorized the postcards he sent me."
Willow and Buffy began to walk to third period, their trigonometry class. "So, did he mention your smoochies at all?" They walked through the door and sat down at their desks, which happened to be side by side.
"No," grumbled Buffy. "It was pretty much, 'Hi, Buffy. Ireland is green; there are lots of sheep. Have something for you-it's a surprise. Say hey to the gang. Angel.'"
Willow's mouth opened her eyes widened. "He bought you something? Oh, Buffy, that's so sweet! Do you know what it is?"
Buffy's response was drowned out by a ruckus in the hallway. People were hollering, and it seemed like women were giving catcalls to someone or something in the hallway.
A tall man with short, dark brown hair walked through the door to the trigonometry class. He was impeccably dressed- black pants and a white linen shirt that buttoned up. On top of that was a leather jacket.
"Wow," said Willow. "Check him out." She pointed at the man, who was talking to the female teacher. The teacher, Mrs. Henderson, seemed completely dumbfounded and aroused by whom she was talking to.
"Believe me, I am. Would you look at his ass…" started Buffy. The man turned and Buffy's jaw fell open as her eyes scanned his tall form. Her heart thudded loudly in her ears and she was sure drool was collecting on her notebook.
The beautiful, confident, sexy man was looking right at her.
And that man was Angel.
*
Buffy was speechless. Her jaw was hanging open. Drool was sure to be dripping onto her shirt. She blinked in confusion two, then three times. Willow had to reach over and close Buffy's opened jaw.
Willow leaned over and said, "If that's what Ireland does to you, can we send Xander there?"
Willow's joke was enough to break Buffy out of her catatonic state. Angel came over with a look of silent, barely contained laughter on his face. He reached down and wiped off her chin with a smile.
"You had a little drool," teased Angel, his nose wrinkled up in the slightest manner. Though his voice was teasing, the rest of his face was deadly serious. Except for his eyes, of course, which were full of laughter.
"You're not real" was the first thing that left Buffy's lips. Her completely ignorant statement caused her to blush furiously, the red even tinting her neck.
"You know, I haven't heard that one yet today," Angel admitted. "I take it you like this new look. Cause, to tell you the truth, I really don't. Some girl grabbed my ass during passing period. I think she left a bruise."
Willow bluntly blurted out: "You're so hot!"
Angel glanced at Buffy, who hadn't spoken since she muttered something about thinking his ass was cute. "Buffy? Are you all right?"
"I always knew," Buffy told him, her voice in a slight whisper. "I always knew you were gorgeous."
He leaned down and said, "Thank you."
The tardy bell rang and said, "I have to go to my composition class. See you at lunch?"
Buffy nodded and whispered to Willow, "If I'm not dead from shock." Willow just laughed. *
Lunch was a fiasco for everybody who'd ever met, talked to, or even breathed by Angel. People were swarming him, even people who thought he was the world's biggest loser eight hours earlier. Even Cordy was fawning over the newfound hunk. Angel had to push and shove through a group of hormonal cheerleaders just to get to his table. His friends were waiting, all of them laughing their asses off.
"Angel, you're like Brad Pitt or something!" Xander said between bouts of laughter.
"I would do anything to look like I did two weeks ago. This is just ridiculous," Angel said, plopping down next to Buffy at the table.
"Well, if Buffy comes to school naked, they'll all forget about this," Xander rationalized. "Oh, yeah, they'll have to break out the lotion for that one."
"Trying to bring a wet dream to life there, Xand?" Buffy asked, flicking him on the ear.
Angel leaned in and whispered, "You bring one to life for me with your clothes on."
Buffy's jaw dropped open and stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. She was completely shocked. She laughed so hard her stomach hurt. She looked up at him, only to realize that he wasn't laughing. "Ohmygod, you were serious."
"Buffy, do you really like me like this? I mean, we were friends when I looked like a scary mix between Elvis Costello, Vincent Kartheiser, Emo, and Rivers from Weezer."
Buffy was concerned by the insecurity in his voice. "I like it. But I liked you either way, Angel. Elvis-Vincent-Emo-Rivers mix was fine for me, so is this. Whatever you like and makes you feel comfortable."
Angel gave her a lopsided smile. He was going to reach out a tuck a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, but hesitated and instead let his hand drop.
"Hey, Angie Boy, have a good time in the Mother Country?" asked Doyle, coming up to the table. He let his tray smack onto the surface.
"Well, yes," said Angel. "Saw some sheep, went mad with boredom, drank a whole lot. How was your Christmas Break?"
"Buffy! Baby, I've looked everywhere for you!" shouted a voice.
"Oh, no," said Xander, "it's Riley."
"Looking chipper," Oz noted as he opened a package of pop tarts.
"Gag me with a Spork," Willow added with a grumble.
Riley came up to the table. He stopped short when he noticed exactly who was sitting next to his girlfriend, looking like a J. Crew model. It was Angel.
*This is not a good sign.*
"So, Angel, decided to cut up that Goodwill Shopper's Choice Card?" Riley snapped.
Angel just laughed and said, "You would know. You had just come back from stocking the shelves." The whole table erupted into laughter and Riley looked genuinely embarrassed. He placed a hand on Buffy's shoulder.
"Movies, Buffy, after school?"
"Actually, no," Buffy said. She shifted on her stool to look up at her boyfriend apologetically. "I'm busy." She sighed. "Actually, Rye, I want to take a break from us for a little while."
"Is it him?" asked Riley, motioning towards Angel. "Because Cordy told me that you and he were kissing at Winter Formal."
Xander laughed and said, "Buffy and Angel? Kiss? Yeah, right?" Willow delivered an elbow right into his ribcage to shut him up.
"We did," said Angel, looking down at his lap. "Once. It was under the mistletoe. It wasn't a big deal, Riley. Buffy, don't throw this relationship away because of one kiss."
"It *was* a big deal, Angel, at least it was to me! I thought it was the same way for you, but I guess I was mistaken!" Buffy pushed away from the table and stormed off angrily.
"I better go after her," Willow said softly. She excused herself and followed the sobbing Buffy to the bathroom.
That left Doyle, Xander, Oz, Angel, and Riley alone at the table. *
"Buffy! Buffy, which stall are you in?" Willow asked.
Buffy froze inside of her stall. Maybe if she stayed perfectly still, Willow wouldn't know she was in here. Buffy just wanted to be alone. She had pretty much blurted out her feelings for Angel in front of everyone. But Angel had hurt her by saying that the kiss didn't mean anything, that it wasn't a big deal. And then there was the wet dream comment that Buffy wasn't even about to confront.
The door swung open.
Much like the first time they met, Willow was standing in front of her, casting a shadow.
"Nice try," Willow said. She motioned towards her friend's knee high boots. "Next time, pull your feet up." She put a tissue in Buffy's hand. "That kiss meant a lot to you, didn't it?"
Buffy nodded and wiped her running nose. "More than anything in the world. Then he comes back to school all sexy after Christmas break and people are treating him like a piece of meat. And he said…our kiss…" Buffy faltered.
"I knew he was coming back like this," Willow admitted.
"You what?" Buffy repeated. She stepped out of the stall and moved towards the sink, where she washed her hands.
"He came home from Ireland early yesterday morning. Last night, he came over to show me the new look. He did it for you, Buffy. He did it because he thought that you like Riley because he's all preppy. Angel thought if he did it, you'd like him. But then it just snowballed."
"Snowballed is not the right word," said Buffy. She threw her tissue away and headed out into the hallway. "Avalanched is probably the better term."
Willow and Buffy hesitated by the entrance to the cafeteria.
"What are you going to do, Buffy?" Willow asked.
"I don't know," Buffy told her best friend. "I think I love him, but I'm gonna let him go. I don't have any other choices."
Willow held in the comment that was itching to be spoken. *How about dating him?* *
Angel sat on the front steps of Sunnydale High after classes were dismissed for the day. His mother was coming to pick him up; she was the one who had persuaded him to get the makeover, but it was Angel who finally agreed to the change. They were going to the Izod and the Ralph Lauren store. Angel was having difficulty containing his excitement at this prospect.
"Hi, Angel," came a syrupy voice from behind him.
Angel stood up to face the speaker. Cordelia was coming towards him, sashaying like a runway model. She knew she looked wonderful in a tight red dress and strappy sandal heels. Everything about her was seemingly perfect: from the Cartier watch on her wrist to the Tiffany earrings dangling from each of her earlobes. Even her lipstick was perfectly applied.
"Cordelia," said Angel. He brushed off the seat of his pants, fearing that grass had gathered there. He ran a nervous hand through his perfectly gelled spikes. "Hi."
Cordelia stood across from him, trying to look as sexy as possible. "I want to tell you how much I love the new look. You look absolutely…hot."
"Gee, thanks," said Angel. *That was real intelligent. You look absolutely hot? You look absolutely like an airhead. *
"Anyway, I was wondering if you were doing anything tonight," Cordelia said. Her eyes flicked over Angel's form for a fleeting moment.
"No," admitted Angel, "just studying for my Chemistry test."
"Good." Cordelia brightened considerably. She fluttered her eyelashes at him for a moment. "I would love it if you'd join me at the Bronze tonight. The White Stripes will be there, and I'd love it if you'd show."
Angel put on a face as though he were actually considering this as a possibility.
"Sorry, Cordy. It's not that I don't want to…actually, it is because I don't want to."
He enjoyed the insulted look that played across Cordy's face. "Look, there's someone else…"
"Buffy," filled in Cordelia sourly. "It's always about Buffy. God!"
Angel gave a shrug of his shoulders and was thankful when he saw his mother's Mercedes-Benz pull up to the curb. "I have to go. Maybe I'll see you around."
Cordelia watched through narrowed eyes as Angel climbed into his mom's Mercedes-Benz. She huffed and rolled her eyes. "Damn that Buffy Summers. Always stealing what I want. First Riley, and now Angel. I'm gonna get Angel if it's the last thing I *ever* do."
*
"So, what are we doing for Spring Break?" Willow asked.
The gang was at the Bronze before it opened. Oz and the dingoes were playing that night, and Oz was busy setting up with Devon. Buffy, Willow, Xander, Doyle, and Angel sat around their usual table. Buffy and Angel were far apart. They hadn't resolved their romantic issues. In fact, Angel was so confused and upset that he became more introverted than ever. Buffy, on the other hand, nearly lost her virginity to Riley after her birthday party Cordy had thrown at the Bronze.
Of course, none of the Scooby Gang had been there (though they would later throw a vidfest at Willow's). They were too passe for a Cordelia Chase Extravaganza. But thanks to his new social status, Angel was the first one who received an invitation. Begrudgingly he attended, knowing it was because of his need to see Buffy, not to wish her a happy birthday. He had planned to tell her how he felt, and then she and Riley disappeared into the back hallway behind the stage. If Angel hadn't burst in and beat the living shit out of Riley for taking advantage of Buffy (in a janitor's closet of all places!), then Buffy would still be dating Riley.
Riley's nose didn't heal for a month.
Cordelia and her cronies were still bothering Buffy, though these days they were more likely to sniff around Angel than Buffy. And since they hung out together (non-verbally, of course) Cordelia and Harmony were around a lot. Cordy's little plan ended up deflating after Buffy broke up with Riley after Angel broke Riley's nose. Ever since, the little bitch had been trying to get into Angel's pants.
Angel was still as nerdy as ever. Sure, he may be ten more times attractive to some people, but he was still into Star Wars, staying at home on Friday nights, and pretty much shunning the sheep of Sunnydale High. He hated the social net he and Buffy seemed to be caught in. Just like Buffy, he seemed to be someone he hated. He just wanted to be wallpaper guy again, instead of Sexy Angel O'Shannon who could have anyone he wanted. Every day it just seemed like a worse and worse idea to change his look.
"Nothing," said Xander with a thankful sigh. "Just me and the new version of Grand Theft Auto."
"Oh, hey, is it the Vegas Edition?" Angel asked, looking up from his coke. Xander nodded. "I'll be there." Xander smiled and turned his attention to Buffy.
"How about you, Buffster? Anything over break?"
"Actually, yeah. I'm going to see my dad in Los Angeles," Buffy said.
"Your dad! That'll be fun," said Willow giddily. "I'm going, right?"
"Actually, I was thinking of asking Angel to go with me," Buffy admitted. "We haven't really spent a lot of time together lately. I was thinking we could have friend time. Plus, I still haven't repaid you for breaking Riley's nose."
Xander laughed and said, "When that bloke came out with his nose practically dripping off his face, I was floored. Funniest stuff I've seen in years."
Angel muttered, "I'd like to come with you to L.A." He looked up at Buffy and their eyes met. "I'd love to come."
"Great," said Buffy, feeling relieved. "We'll have a lot of fun." She turned to face Willow and spoke the line they had rehearsed. They had planned to take Angel with them to Los Angeles, but when Willow's Mom made Willow back out, the two began practicing ways to hook Angel into going alone with Buffy. "You're not upset, are you?"
Willow shook her head and said, "No, of course not. You have a *great* time. I'll see you when you get home." *
Buffy threw her final bag out of her Mom's jeep. Joyce had gone to Japan to attend a Tokyo Art Convention, and that's why Buffy was heading to Los Angeles for Spring Break. Joyce thought Willow was going with Buffy to L.A., not Angel. Hank was much more lenient than Joyce was, and since he hated his ex with a fiery passion, there was no way in Hell he was telling Joyce that Buffy brought a boy-or man? - with her on vacation.
She slammed the back door shut and walked around the Jeep to see Angel locking the doors. He looked adorable. His contacts had been ditched for his thick Elvis Costello glasses. On his head, he wore a black knit cap; for an outfit, he wore black sweatpants and a white shirt. Simple, yet on Angel he could wear just a paper bag and look adorable.
"It'll just be us and Dad," Buffy said, "because my sister is in San Francisco with Grandma and Pops." She began to unlock the front door.
"I didn't know you had a sister," Angel said. He caught the glass storm door as Buffy swung it out. He placed his back against it to keep it from opening.
"Most people don't," said Buffy as she walked into the house. "When Mom and Dad got a divorce, Dawn chose to live with Dad and I chose to live with Mom. Fair trade, really. I don't like Dawn that much. She's a spoiled brat."
"Now, Pumpkin, she's just like you!" called out aaughing male voice. A man Angel figured to be Hank Summers appeared in the foyer of the house.
"Dad," said Buffy, "no she's not." She pouted and threw her arms around her father. Hank spun her around several times then plopped her down on a white sofa by the door. Hank turned to look at Angel and extended his hand.
"Hello, Angel," said Hank. "It's nice to meet you. Buffy's told me so much about you."
"It's nice to meet you," Angel said. He looked at Hank for a moment. "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Alonzo Wilder from Little House on the Prairie?"
Hank frowned and said, "No, not really. You're the first. Anyway, have you been to L.A. before?"
"No," said Angel. "Buffy tells me it's great." "It is," said Hank. "I'm sure my princess knows all the hotspots even now. She'll show you a good time."
"Dad, you sound like an ad for an escort service," Buffy said as she joined the pair of men. "What do you have planned for us?"
"Absolutely nothing. I'm kinda leaving that up to you, though I have a suggestion for tonight. Tell me, Angel, how do you feel about Grauman's Chinese Theatre and then dinner at Cheeseburger in Paradise?" Hank asked his daughter's houseguest.
"Great," Angel said with a smile. "Buff, what do you think?"
Buffy smiled and nodded. She picked up her bags and went up the stairs. "Going to change!" She shouted.
"C'mon, Angel. We've got time for a Hockey Game before she's done. Do you like the Red Wings?"
*
Dinner went fast that night, as did the first three days of Spring Break. Hank, Hank's girlfriend Anita, Buffy, and Angel went to every museum, aquarium, and sporting event they could get into. Hank had even wrangled up three Lakers tickets. The Lakers happened to suck that season, and they lost miserably to the Indiana Pacers, 127-65.
Hank was sitting in the den, going over an affidavit that a client had given him several days before he started his vacation to be with Buffy. All he had to do was sign off on the dotted line and fax it back to his law firm. They had just returned from the Lakers/Pacers game and there was a lot of law work to be done before Hank turned in for the evening.
"Dad?" Buffy asked from the doorway. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
Hank quickly scanned the rest of his affidavit and signed it; then he tucked it into his briefcase.
"Sure, Princess. You know where your chair is." He motioned to the green and black plaid Lay-Z-Boy recliner across from his large desk.
Buffy plopped down in the chair and tucked her legs beneath her body. She began to toy with the fold of fabric at the end of the chair's right arm. She picked at it as she had done a million times before. If she looked hard enough, she could find the tear she made in the left arm's upholstery when she was eight.
"Daddy, what do you think of Angel?"
"Honestly?" Hank asked, making eye contact with his daughter. He stepped out from behind his large writing desk and leaned up against it. "I like him, Buffy. He's intelligent, he's a Hockey nut like myself, and he cares a lot about you."
"He…he does?" Buffy repeated.
Hank gave his daughter a slightly exasperated look. "Buffy, he cares greatly for you. I think…I think he's in love with you." He ran a hand through his thinning blond hair. "I can't believe I just said that. But it's true. He's in love with you."
Buffy sighed. "What should I do, Daddy? I think…no, I know I love him, too."
"Tell him," Hank insisted. "You have let him know how you feel. Don't let him go, Buffy. He's something special."
*
Buffy came down the stairs on the fourth morning of her Spring Break to find her father on his cell phone at the kitchen table.
"No, Harry, I'm in the middle of my daughter's fucking Spring Break! I can't come to Dallas for some quarterly meeting!" shouted Hank into the phone. He paused while Harry said something. This only caused Hank to yell louder. "Dammit, Harry! Did Snyder say it was mandatory?"
Buffy turned and went back up the stairs. She rounded the corner into the hallway only to run into Angel, who was in only a bath towel. Her hand happened to grace his chest, and she pulled away quickly before it decided to plant itself there.
"Morning," said Buffy. "Shower?"
"Oh, uh, yeah," replied Angel. He clutched the tuck in his towel and looked down.
Several droplets of water fell from his yet-to-be-coifed dark brown locks and ran down his neck. Buffy reached up and wiped them away, her fingers lingering on the skin of his neck for a moment longer than they should have. He leaned down so he could look into her eyes, his hand covering hers, which still rested on his wet neck.
"Buffy, there's something I need to-"
"Buffy! Angel! Get down here! I need to talk to you!" shouted Hank from the kitchen.
"Dammit," said Buffy under her breath. "BE RIGHT THERE!" Buffy, fully clothed, and Angel, in a towel, met Hank in the kitchen.
"I've been called to Dallas for an emergency meeting. Today's your final day in L.A., and so I'm not too worried about leaving you here." Hank placed his cell phone in his pocket and moved towards the hall closet. He pulled out a small black travel bag and then his briefcase.
"I trust you both," Hank said. "Now, Princess, I'll call you when I get into Dallas. If you're not here, I'll try again tomorrow morning." He hugged his daughter quickly, then shook Angel's hand. It was then that he noticed that his male houseguest was wearing just a towel. He leaned in close and said, "You might wanna put some pants on, son."
Hank took his bag and his briefcase and went into the garage. Buffy and Angel heard his car start. They stood silently in the kitchen for a moment.
"I need to go change," said Angel, "It's suddenly very drafty in here." He went up the stairs and barricaded himself in his bedroom. Buffy, who was standing outside, could hear clothes rustling and a belt going through loops as he dressed.
"Angel?" Buffy called.
"Uh, yeah?" replied her houseguest.
Buffy hesitated. "What…uh, what did you wanna say to me earlier?" She listened through the closed door and all she could hear was silence. Then, a bag was unzipped and papers ruffled.
"Nothing," Angel replied. "I, uh, don't remember."
Buffy folded her arms across her chest and said, "I know of this club in downtown L.A. We could go there tonight if you want. It's only about twenty minutes away by cab. Sound good?"
Angel appeared from inside the guestroom. A thick book was beneath his elbow, on top of that was a black folder. He nodded, "Yeah. That sounds great. I have to finish this paper on Stalin, though, before we leave. It's due on Monday, and…"
"Sure," said Buffy without faltering.
*I thought maybe we could veg or something. And who cares about Stalin anyway? He had weird facial hair. * She watched as Angel went downstairs. And told herself she wasn't looking at his butt.
*
Angel stood in the family room, almost completely in the dark. He had been waiting for Buffy for nearly an hour. Every time he shouted up the stairs, she replied with "Just a minute!" Angel was glad that he told the cab to arrive at 8:45 instead of eight o'clock, or they'd be without a ride.
"Buffy, why don't we just take the Jeep?" Angel shouted up the stairs.
"Ow! Dammit!" hissed Buffy.
"Buff? You okay?" Angel called up to her, his voice filled with concern.
"No," whined Buffy. "I just burnt one of my fingers on the curling iron." She paused. "We're not taking the Jeep because L.A. is kinda dangerous at night, and that's a nice car. Mom would kill me if something happened to it."
"Oh."
Angel heard her descend before she was actually standing in front of him; her heels made a world of noise. His breath hitched in his throat when he caught sight of her. She wore a short red skirt, a black top of with a bit of red lace edging around the deep v collar, and chunky heels. Her hair was curled ever so slightly and it barely brushed her shoulders.
*Close your mouth, Angel, * his brain warned him, *Hank won't want a swimming pool in his living room when he gets home. *
Buffy was just as awestruck by her date as he was by her. The leather pants that he had donned for Winter Formal were back, slung low and held up by a belt with a silver buckle. For a top he wore a long sleeved black shirt, on top of that was a simple leather jacket.
A car horn disrupted their moment(s) of silence.
"We had better get going," Buffy said as she glanced at the wall clock. "L.A. curfew is one, and if we're not in by then…well, I hope you enjoy a cement floor and iron bars."
Angel swung the door open wide and watched as Buffy tucked the key into her waistline, where he figured there must be a pocket. The cab driver blew his horn again, then abruptly stopped when he noticed Buffy in the dim porch light. Angel took notice of the horny cab driver and put his arm around her waist.
"What?" Buffy whispered, "Are you doing?"
"He's staring at you," Angel replied in a voice just as low, "and I don't like it."
"Are you jealous, Angel O'Shannon?"
"No," replied Angel evenly. "But he's too old for you, and he looks scary. I'm simply protecting you." He opened the cab door for Buffy and she stepped inside.
"Like you did when you broke Riley's nose?" Buffy asked as Angel got into the cab.
"I cannot believe I did that," Angel said. "I'd never thrown a punch in my life. I was just so…so mad. He's lucky it was only his nose that was broken."
Buffy glanced out the window. "When we get back tonight, Angel, we're going to talk. You know that, right?"
Angel said, "Yes" and turned to face his window. The car ride went along silently. The Los Angeles nightclub twenty minutes east of Hank Summers' house was packed. A bouncer stood at the door, turning away people who looked over twenty-one because it was sixteen plus night. When Buffy and Angel finally got inside, the dance floor was full of gyrating, sweating teenagers.
"My dream," Angel said as they stood at the edge of the floor. "To be banged around with a bunch of sweaty people I've never met."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "That's the fun of it, Angel. Do something you'd never normally do."
He looked out across the dance floor before responding. "This is not normally something I'd do. But since we're already here…" He took her hand and smiled. "I wouldn't normally do this, either."
Buffy pulled him out onto the floor. "Now, I take it you're not an experienced dancer. Just let me dance, and you can just kinda…move." She began to rub up against him, letting the fast paced music take her somewhere else. Her arms waved above her head as it swung from side to side. She didn't even notice the supportive arm her partner had slipped around her waist.
"Where'd you learn to dance, Buffy?" asked Angel as she rubbed against his leg. "Wild On E?"
"No," replied Buffy in a breathless way. "I went clubbing every weekend in high school. The bartender here used to know my name. I was a regular."
The music finally stopped and she fell against him, kind of glad the fast paced music had stopped. She didn't know how much longer she could keep that up. A slow song started over the speakers, and people around them grabbed partners. Angel just slipped his arms around her waist and they swayed back and forth.
Buffy was perfectly content just to have him hold her as they gently swayed on the dance floor. Everything had been so muddled since he got the whole "sex toy" image from his makeover that he hated. Girls had been trying to get his attention left and right, and Buffy was afraid Angel had forgotten her. She had been distancing herself; she dragged him on the L.A. vacation to get a little closer without having Doyle and the others breathing down their necks.
"Buffy," he whispered, "I need to tell you something." Buffy held her breath.
"Our kiss," he started. "Meant more to me than…anything. And I know I upset you when I told Riley…" His speech was cut off by a manicured finger against his lips.
"Angel," said Buffy in a shaky voice. She looked up at him and blinked away several tears in her eyes.
"I love you."
And then she kissed him.
*
"Home," Angel whispered. He began to pull her off the dance floor. "Have to go back."
"What?" cried Buffy. She pulled her hand away from his grasp. Angel abruptly stopped walking. "I tell you I love you and you tell me we have to go home?"
"I can talk better there," Angel told her, picking up her hand again. He rubbed the back of it gently. "And, I do love you Buffy. Since the first day I saw you in front of the damn Minute Maid machine." He pulled her closer to the door and Buffy pulled him back.
"Kiss me, then," Buffy demanded, grabbing onto his jaw. She looked right into his eyes. "Kiss me right here for the entire club to see. Then kiss me at school for the entire school to see. And you can even wear your Costello glasses and a knit cap while you're at it."
Angel grinned and kissed her gently, reminding them both of their Christmas kiss. They streamed past the bouncer and the line of waiting people. Buffy hailed a cab while Angel held her hand, not wanting to break their connection.
The ride home was not the same as the first ride had been. This time, the windows in the back managed to fog up. They stumbled out of the cab and Angel handed the cab driver a wad of bills. The driver pulled away from the curb with the screech of tires. Neither of them noticed the cab was even gone as they moved as one up the sidewalk to the porch.
They continued to kiss as Buffy dug for her house key in the tiny pocket of her skirt. She was up against the door with one hand halfway down her skirt, digging for the key that just refused to be found. She was distracted by the fact that Angel was kissing her neck.
"Angel, stop, I found the key," said Buffy breathlessly.
She turned to face the door and jammed the key into the lock. It turned and the pair flew through the door that could no longer support their weight. They fell to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs.
"Up…upstairs," whispered Buffy. She pulled herself up by supporting the banister. Angel's hand latched onto hers and she helped yank him up from the bottom of the stairs. They bumped along the wall as they tried to go up the stairs.
"Guest room," added Angel, "it's closer."
He pushed the bedroom door open with his back and began to tug off Buffy's v-neck shirt he was so intrigued with. She hurriedly unbuttoned his long sleeved shirt and flung it to the floor. They tumbled onto the bed Angel had been sleeping on during his stay. Her lips found his as she reached down for the zipper of his pants.
"Buffy, oh god, this..." He began to tug on the eyehooks of her bra as his words trailed off into nothing.
She stopped as she felt the last hook give way. She pushed him away and moved to the other side of the room, pressing her bra up against her chest.
"We can't do this. I promised myself. I promised my mother for god's sake! Angel, you know how I feel about you. But can you understand that I'm not ready for this?"
Angel glanced down. He began to laugh as he picked up his shirt from the floor. "We've been to one club, made out in the back of one cab, and almost had sex and we're not even officially dating yet. Have I lost my mind?"
Buffy yanked her shirt over her shoulders. "No. You haven't lost your mind. We got too busy living 'carpe diem' that we forgot to do the one thing we never did."
"What's that?" asked Angel as he flipped on the bedroom light.
"We never dated," Buffy said with a shake of her head. "We never held hands in front of our friends, never had some serious PDA during study hall, never played footsie underneath the table during lunch. And most of it's my fault. I fell for you the first time I saw you, Angel, and I was just so freaked out by it. That's why I turned to Riley-because I was afraid of what you made me feel." She glanced back at Angel, who had slipped his arms around her.
He sighed and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.
"We can do all that, Buffy. It's not too late. We can hold hands, and have PDA, and play footsie during lunch. But you say that I made you feel-well you made me feel beautiful." He ran a hand through his coifed spikes. "This-the hair, the contacts, the clothes. They don't make me feel one one-thousandth of the way I feel when you look at me."
Buffy kissed his forehead gently and said, "Angel, I was attracted to you because of those glasses. I saw your eyes and they were the first thing I liked about you. This whole J. Crew you-I could care less about. Just don't do what I did and change yourself. It's not worth it."
Angel kissed her shoulder and said, "Stay with me tonight?"
"Angel I--"
"Just sleep. Tomorrow we go home, but we can have tonight."
Buffy sighed and threw the covers over her body, pulling him with her.
"I hope you don't snore like a leaf blower," Buffy teased as she snuggled against him, "or you're sleeping in the bath tub."
Buffy sat at her father's kitchen table, stirring a bowl of raisin bran idly. She had crept out of the bedroom, packed and cleaned while Angel was still asleep. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and focused on one of the black, shriveled raisins presently floating in the milk. If she looked hard enough, it seemed to grow bigger, then shrink beneath the surface.
"I'm crazy," she mumbled to herself, "I think my raisin is growing in my cereal bowl. Bring me the straitjacket now."
The Grandfather clock in the hallway began to chime. It chimed nine times; signaling it was only nine in the morning. She and Angel had come home early, around ten, and had been asleep since midnight or so.
She remembered being in his arms, listening to him talk to her about how he felt. If she closed her eyes and set her spoon aside, she could remember his deep voice breaking through the silence.
"Buffy, I want this to happen," Angel had whispered, his forehead pressing against hers. "Us-this has to work. We've been through too much for this to fail, especially now."
Buffy grinned and kissed his chin, "It has to. Fuck Cordelia and Riley and what they think." She pulled back and a confused look crossed her face as she looked at him through the darkness. "I didn't know what I was doing, Angel. What I did to you and the gang was wrong, I wasn't being a good friend."
"It's okay," said Angel, "if that wouldn't have happened, then we wouldn't be together now."
"Yeah, we probably would have already sorted this all out," she bit out sourly, placing her head against his large chest, listening to his heart thudding away. "When we get to school, be the Angel I fell for. The nerdy one with the thick glasses and floppy hair, because I don't like it when other girls are checking you out."
"Are you jealous, Buffy Summers?" teased Angel as he played with a lock of her hair.
"Yes," said Buffy, "and if Cordy looks at your crotch again, I'll break her nose. Or possibly more."
"Buff-y," groaned Angel with a smile.
"It's true, I saw her look at your package one day. I about beat the crap out of her."
"Don't talk like that," Angel told her, closing his eyes. He rested his head against his flat pillow. "Sleep now. Talk later." He squeezed her arm lightly and pulled her against him so he could sleep.
Buffy stared into her cereal bowl, pushing the soggy bran around with a spoon. She lifted up a spoonful and let it plop back into the milk. With a frown, she picked up the bowl and carried it to the sink. Because the water was running, she couldn't hear someone approach from behind; she couldn't her him slide an arm around her waist.
"Morning," said Angel with a yawn. "Ready to go?" He motioned to the cereal that was dripping into the garbage disposal. "Trying to lose weight again? I agree; you could lose a few pounds."
Buffy turned around to face him. In her hand, she held the spray nozzle to the faucet. She pressed the button down and thoroughly soaked Angel's t-shirt. Angel just glanced at his shirt for a moment, then proceeded to pull off.
"I'm not fat," said Buffy, "and that's not fair to tease me like that. Put on your shirt."
"No." He pointed to his chest. "I'm going like this."
Buffy reached up and pulled her shirt off, over her shoulders. She held it off of the end of her index finger. "I'll go like this- in just a bra. And all the other drivers will check me out."
"Put your shirt on, and I'll put my shirt on," Angel said, trying not to let his jealousy become apparent.
"Deal." She grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head, messing up his already messy hair.
"What are we going to tell our friends when we get home? We can't just tell them what happened," Angel said as he went up the stairs. He pulled several suitcases from the hallway and began to lug them down the stairs. Buffy moved to the last of her father's plants, thoroughly watering it.
"We'll just leave certain parts out," Buffy replied, thinking of the parts she wanted to leave out. She set the plastic watering can on the kitchen counter. "Oh, good. You got the suitcases." She took her lightweight cotton jacket from the hook by the door and slipped it over her shoulders.
After she and Angel had put the last of her suitcases in the car, they pulled out of the driveway and headed towards Sunnydale.
*
Willow was waiting for Buffy Monday morning at school. She wanted to hear all of the details about Buffy and Angel's trip to Los Angeles. She was also all excited because of the career day that SHS was holding in the gym.
"How was the trip? And, ooh, did you hear it was *Career Day*?" asked Willow with too much perkiness.
Buffy spun the combination to her locker and shoved several books in. Then she reached into her purse and pulled out a magnet and a glossy color photograph. She slapped the photo on the inside of the locker door, then pressed the magnet against it. Willow moved in closer to get a good look at the photograph.
"This photo is *so* cute, Buffy! You and Angel and your dad at the Chinese theatre!" said Willow.
"It was our first night in L.A." Buffy said. She pulled out her Economics book from the mess and moved to shut her locker. "Before everything got all sexually complicated."
"It was an orgy! You had an orgy! Right?"
"No," said Buffy. "No orgy." She shifted her books in her arms and leaned up against her locker. "It's not something I'm willing to share about yet."
Willow and Buffy walked down the crowded hallway, having to walk around people who had stopped. Willow pointed to Angel, who was fast approaching them.
"Ooh, his glasses are back! Buffy, did you convince him to do that?" Willow also noticed a black knit cap pulled down low, barely brushing his glasses.
"Uh-huh," said Buffy. She waved at Angel and he picked up the pace. When he finally neared her, he stopped. Buffy smiled shyly and threw her arms around him, kissing him soundly on the lips.
A squeak came from Willow. First soft, then loud. Her hands flew up to her face. "Oh, oh! You two…you sneaky little weasels you!"
Oblivious to Willow's comment, Buffy pulled away from him but let his hands to rest on her hips.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Angel tucked some hair behind her ear. "I missed you." He finally moved his hands from her hips and placed one of them on top of hers. He smiled as he felt her fingers wind between his.
"It's only been a day," Buffy teased as they started walking towards the gym, where the career fair was being held. "Codependent much?" She stopped walking and motioned for Angel to stop as well. "Coming, Will?" Willow caught up with them, finding it difficult to keep going as slow as they currently were. She spied Oz coming near them and she motioned to their mutual friends, who had stopped by the doors of the gym and were making with the smoochies. Oz's face broke out in a wide smile.
Buffy and Angel, Oz and Willow, and a straggling Doyle wandered into the school gym, which had been transformed into a career paradise. Armed Forces representatives lined one wall, and Marines were having bystanders do chin-ups for a t-shirt. Veterinarians, pilots, and representatives from the local factories were all set up. Many were supplying their big draws: candy, pens, and highlighters.
"I'm slightly curious about how you two decided to get together," said Doyle, motioning to Buffy and Angel. "Because ye weren't too friendly before ye trip to Los Angeles."
Angel looked down at his shoes, trying to hide the blush that stained his cheeks.
"We were dancing…" he started.
"And I kissed him," finished Buffy. "End of story."
"Rather, all of the story we're going to hear," supplied Oz
"The abridged version," added Willow. She smiled at her best friend as they paused by a YMCA booth. Willow quickly slipped a magnet into her brown purse. They hurriedly walked away from the booth.
"Will, you never steal," said Buffy. She motioned towards Willow's handbag. "Why did you take a magnet?"
"Is this going to turn into some kind of after-school special?" Oz asked, "because I could go elsewhere." He looked at Buffy with raised eyebrows.
"Sorry," said Buffy, "but it was untypical Willster behavior. She's never stolen anything in her life except for that dry erase marker from Mr. Gattling in Trig that one time."
"I'm living on the edge," Willow said, unzipping her purse as she slipped several suckers inside. "Hold me back, guys. I may lose it." The gang continued to wander around the Career Fair.
Cordelia and Harmony were standing by the Merle Norman booth. They were giving away free lipstick samples, and of course, the two airheads were swarming like bees to pollen. She happened to glance out of the corner of her and see Buffy and Angel holding hands as they listened to some bald guy talking.
"Oh my god, Harmony! Would you just look at Buffy and Angel? That is *so* wrong," hissed Cordelia. She set the tube of Frosted Lilac on the display table and motioned to the pair, who were currently kissing. "And would you *look* at his glasses? Oh, my lord."
"I think they're kind of cute," Harmony noted as she played with a tube of eyeliner.
Cordelia said, "Wrong answer, Harm."
She motioned for Harmony to follow her over and she confronted Buffy and Angel, who were still making disgusting googly eyes at one another.
"What the *hell* do you think you're doing, Angel? I thought what we had last night was special," Cordy bit out through fake tears. "I guess not…I guess I was just another conquest for Angel O'Shannon."
Buffy's eyes widened as she looked from Cordy to Angel. *Oh, please, no. It couldn't be. Angel and Cordelia?* She dropped Angel's hand as though it were acidic and bolted for the double doors of the gym.
Angel got into Cordelia's face. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, Cordelia? You're such a selfish bitch! I cannot believe that you just lied to Buffy like that! Burn in hell, you stuck up ice princess." He shoved her out of the way, as he followed Buffy out into the hallway.
"Buffy!" shouted Angel as he looked down the wide hallway. "Buffy, Cordelia was lying. I didn't sleep with her! I swear to god!"
"Yeah, right," came a sobbing voice. "Do you really think she'd make something like that up?"
"Yes," replied Angel without hesitation. "Buffy, she's been after me ever since I got my new look. But you know me better than that." He sighed. "If you ever knew me at all."
Buffy appeared from behind an opened door.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Yeah, I know you. Better than I know myself. But I just don't know if you are telling me the truth."
Angel came to her and placed one hand on each of her shoulders.
"I would NEVER sleep with Cordy, Buffy. Not even if it got me all the money or popularity in the world. She's an egotistical bitch whose head is so far up her ass she can't see straight." He looked at Buffy seriously for a moment. "I love YOU and no one else."
Buffy glanced away, raising a hand to wipe away her tears. She felt one of Angel's hands rest on her shoulder. The other one tipped her chin up so their eyes could meet.
"Promise?" Buffy asked in a tiny voice.
"Promise." He slipped an arm around her waist. "Are you better now, Buffy?"
Buffy sniffled and straightened her slumping shoulders. "I don't know why I even believed her, Angel. I should have known better than that." They walked into the gym and Willow hurried up to them with Oz and Doyle trailing her.
"Don't worry," Angel said with a lopsided smile. "Crisis averted. Cordy just wanted to get into my pants."
"Yeah, and she can't do that when *I* haven't even been in your pants," added Buffy. She started to giggle as a blush crept up her neck and face. "Well, it's true." The bell rang, signaling the end of the period. Buffy kissed Angel's cheek quickly, then went over to join Willow. The two best friends looped elbows.
"Behave, Angel," said Buffy; "I'd hate to have to punish you."
"Well, when you put it that way," Angel added, "I guess I'll have to do something really wrong." Doyle and Oz groaned. Each of the men took one of Angel's elbows and dragged him from the gym.
"Buffy!" shouted a voice. Cordelia was calling Buffy over. She pointed to the empty floor tile next to her. "Now."
Buffy looked at Willow and motioned for her to get Angel from wherever he and the boys were. Willow darted off to find her boyfriend and the others.
"I'd like to know what the HELL is going on. Did I or did I not see you just sucking face with that failure Angel O'Shannon?" She motioned towards Angel, who was making his way across the crowded gym.
"You saw me kissing Angel," said Buffy. "Did I upset you? Is that why you came over and told me that you had sex with my boyfriend? Were you a jealous bitch?"
"Bitch, yes. Jealous, hell no. Why would I want Angel? I mean, look at him." She pointed to Angel, who had just pulled up short next to Buffy.
"You sure wanted him last week when he looked like a stud, when he looked just like everybody else." Buffy snorted. "What you never understood, Cordelia, is that Angel's always been gorgeous, you're just too stuck up and self-absorbed to see that. The minute Angel sheds his little model image; you're back to bashing him. Sorry, Cordy, it doesn't work. He's not hurt by it and neither am I."
"How *dare* you speak to me like that, Buffy. I *made* you!" shouted Cordelia.
"Wrong. *I* made me. You just got in my way like a bloated, plastic-surgery addicted Barbie."
Cordelia gasped and said, "Oh no you didn't. I have never had plastic surgery and I am sure as hell not bloated. But you…you're so…unappetizing I'm not surprised you're with that homeless-wannabe Angel."
Angel stepped into Cordelia's face.
"If you don't get the hell away from my girlfriend and stay the hell away from my girlfriend, I'll break your nose just like I did Riley's."
Cordelia backed away, holding her hands up to block Angel away. She met eyes with Buffy.
"Fine, Buffy," said Cordy venomously. "Chose to be a reject. I always knew you'd end up one anyway."
Buffy grabbed Angel by the neck and crushed her mouth to his. She faintly heard Cordelia gasp and mutter something about 'public indecency', then clatter of Stilettos quickly scampering away.
*
Angel sat in his pre-calculus class, listening to the teacher drone on and on about the field trip to the California Mathematics Institute the following Monday. Normally, Angel would have been excited about this field trip, but he just couldn't focus on what Mr. Bradley was saying. He pulled out a sheet of notebook paper and a pen.
//Buffy,
I am sitting in math class right now, but I can't seem to concentrate at all, on what's going on. I think it's because all I can think about is you. God, that sounds so cliched, but so very true in this case.
I want you to know that nothing happened with Cordelia. I hope you believed me earlier, but I just want to reinforce it. Given time to think about it, I realized that what I did was foolish. I shouldn't have run after you, but I did get you back. I stopped you from believing a total lie. That makes me happy that we were able to work it out before it became a major fiasco.
I'm so glad you stood up to Cordelia, she got what she deserved.
I also wanted you to know what a great time I had in Los Angeles last week. I'm glad we decided not to sleep together because I think it would have been going too fast. Someday it'll be right; we'll know when it's time.
I love you. //
He folded up the note and slipped it into the back pocket of his black slacks. The bell rang and Angel followed the others out of the classroom. Buffy was waiting for him at his locker, leaning against the empty neighboring locker. Angel pulled the note out of his pocket and handed it to his girlfriend.
*My girlfriend. *
He smiled at her and opened his locker, stuffing his Calculus book and binder in there. When he closed the door, Buffy was staring at him, deep in thought. He frowned and said his name.
"Oh!" She smiled at him. "I was spacing. Sorry." She took his hand.
"I'm glad you're here," said Angel. "I want to tell you about something that happened last night."
Buffy frowned as she dug around in her back pocket for Angel's note. When her fingers curved around it, she pulled it out and scanned it while they walked towards the cafeteria.
"I got accepted to Harvard," Angel said. "Full ride."
"Oh, Angel, are you serious!" exclaimed Buffy, ripping her attention from the note in her hands. "Are you going to go?"
"I don't want to if it means us not being together," said Angel.
"It's an excellent opportunity," Buffy told him. "Get the education you always wanted, and be a pediatrician like you said you wanted to be." She squeezed his hand. "We'll do just fine, Angel. I mean, Harvard's only a couple thousand miles away." Buffy's voice dropped. "On the eastern seaboard." She added.
Angel and Buffy entered the cafeteria and made a beeline for the salad bar.
"I didn't say I was going, Buffy," said Angel, "it was just an acceptance letter. It's not written into stone. There are plenty of good colleges I could go to here in California."
Buffy picked up tongs full of lettuce and dumped it onto her plate. She reached for a squeeze bottle of Italian dressing. "Angel, it's not fair for you to stay here when you have the opportunity to go to one of the best universities in the U.S."
Angel gritted his teeth. "I know. But can we discuss this later?"
"You're the one who brought it up," said Buffy. She slammed her salad onto the counter where a cafeteria lady accepted her money. She waited for Angel after paying. When he had finished, they walked to the gang's table.
"Buffy," Angel said, grasping her elbow as they sat down. "It's only March. I applied to thirty colleges and Harvard's only the second one I have heard from." Buffy looked away, but Angel pulled her chin so she could face him. "I don't want to leave you. Let's just wait to see what other schools I got into before making a decision."
*
A table full of mortarboards and tassels sat at the end of senior hallway by the library. A guidance counselor sat at the table with a clipboard in his hand, checking off names as seniors picked up their gowns. Willow, Xander, and Buffy stood together near the table in a small huddle.
"I can't believe it's already May," said Willow. She pointed to the gowns and caps on a long table.
"Breathe, Willow," said Xander. "It's just graduation. I mean, it's not like the mayor's gonna turn into a giant snake and eat Principal Snyder."
"You had that dream too, huh?" Buffy asked. They stepped into line. She sighed as she touched the edge of one of the gowns.
"Angel hasn't decided where he's going yet, has he?" Willow asked as she picked up a mortarboard form the stack.
"He's decided," Buffy told her best friend, "he just won't tell me what he's decided."
"Harvard's still a possibility then?" Xander asked as he checked the size on one of the gowns.
"Yeah," Buffy said. "I'm just afraid he'll leave me and it'll all just fall apart." She picked up a gown labeled small and folded it over the crook of her elbow. "I just got him. I can't have him leave me."
"Willow Rosenberg." Willow handed her student ID card and her gown order form to the counselor. A moment later, she had them in her hands and was waiting for her two friends to finish the process.
"But I don't want him to miss out on an opportunity because of me," added Buffy as she handed her forms to the counselor.
"Maybe that's a decision he should make, Buff," Xander said with a smile. "He loves you. It's obvious to anyone who looks at you two crazy kids."
"I know he loves me," Buffy said, "and I love him. That's why I'm so afraid."
Willow gave her best friend a hug. "It'll be okay." She checked her watch. "Hey, school will be over soon."
"We graduate tomorrow," said Xander as they headed towards the school's front doors. "Saturday, June second."
"I can't believe Angie boy is valedictorian," added Doyle, who came to join the group on the front steps. "Me boy did it."
"Did he read his speech to you?" Willow asked Buffy as she hoisted herself onto one of the railings. She carefully balanced her mortarboard and gown.
"No," said Buffy, "but he says I'm going to love it."
"I don't mean to beat the crap out of the college thing again, but where are we going? I mean, I got accepted to Los Angeles College. Willow, Buffy, Oz, and Doyle all got accepted to UCLA. Are you guys going?" Xander asked.
"I'm not," Doyle announced.
"What?" said Buffy. "You're not going to UCLA with the rest of us?"
"No," said Doyle. "I'm going back to Dublin, home to me Mother. Seems I can get an education there as well as here."
"Does Angel know?" Buffy asked, always thinking of her boyfriend.
"Yes, the mate knows," Doyle said. "Got into one hellova argument about it. Finally managed to convince 'im that I'm going, come hell or high water."
"I'll miss all of ye," Doyle added. "I'll send plenty of postcards from the mother country. Ones with lots of sheep and ale and all that stereotypical Irish blarney."
Buffy saw her mother's jeep pull up to the curb. Without a word to her friends, she got into the Jeep and left.
*
She sat in her bedroom, crying. She would know tomorrow whether Angel was staying or leaving. Leaving town and leaving her. Buffy wanted to be supportive of him, really she did. But she wanted him to stay. She loved him and she'd never even been with him; not in the way she'd wanted to be.
They'd been through so much together, even before they had gotten together. The last couple of months had flown by. She couldn't remember when she'd been so happy. Angel had managed to grow his hair out so it slightly flopped over his ears, and Buffy couldn't have been happier the day Cordelia abruptly spun on her heel and led the Cordettes away from them at lunch. Cordy had adopted a new crony to join her little band of sheep and had abandoned Buffy.
Her inner war seemed to be over. She had won; she had picked the right group of people to hang out with. She even burned that Winter Formal crown in the fireplace. The gang cared about her and Buffy genuinely cared about each of them. She doubted that if she'd stayed friends with Cordelia that she'd be with Angel.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Buffy glanced at her window. One pebble, then another, then a third hit her glass window. Frowning, Buffy walked over to her window and pushed it open. Angel was standing on her roof, a white envelope in his hand.
"Angel?" Buffy asked. "What are you doing? I thought you'd be at home writing your valedictorian speech."
"Already wrote it," said Angel. He motioned towards her bedroom. "Can I come in?"
Buffy stepped aside so he could come in. She realized that standing in the light would reveal her mascara and tear stained face. She tried to hide her face, but Angel had already seen it.
"Buffy," said Angel, stepping into her room and shutting the window. "Why are you crying?"
Buffy mumbled something, praying Angel wouldn't be able to decipher it. She reached out for him and he took her in his arms, kissing her crown lightly. He had heard her mumble that she didn't want him to leave her for Harvard.
"That's why I'm here." Angel pulled away from her and handed her the white envelope in his hand. "Open it."
"It's blank," said Buffy as she ripped through the envelope. A piece of computer paper with a college logo fell into her hand.
"Read it."
"Dear Mr. O'Shannon, We are proud to admit you into the University of California Los Angeles…we will see you on September 2 for student orientation…." Buffy's voice trailed off. "YOU'RE STAYING! OH MY GOD, YOU'RE NOT LEAVING ME!" Buffy threw the letter and envelope down and wrapped her arms around Angel. She pulled back to look into his eyes and suddenly his lips were on hers.
"I'm not leaving," he whispered as he kissed her neck. "Not ever."
"Angel," gasped Buffy, "Please. Don't leave me tonight."
Angel looked up. "You mean…" He was silenced by Buffy's nod and the tears gathering in her eyes. He kissed her fully and pressed her back on the coverlet of her bed.
She reached up and began to unbutton his white linen shirt, the same shirt he had worn to the Winter Formal so long ago. She managed to push it off of his body, then pulled him down by his neck.
"Are you sure?" Angel asked, looking down at her for a final time.
"I've never been more sure," Buffy replied.
She placed her hands flat on his muscular back. Angel kissed her and reached for the lamp next to Buffy's bed. He fumbled with the switch and finally managed to switch it off. The only light left in the bedroom was coming from the moon above. The silver light streamed through the opened blinds.
They melded together beneath the sheets of her bed, finally together in every sense: mind, soul, and now body.
*
The moonlight streaming through the opened blinds had turned to early sunlight. Buffy yawned and stretched out, only to smack something…or someone right in the face. She groggily rubbed her eyes and turned to see what or whom she had just smacked. Her eyebrows arched in shock at who was next to her in bed, his arms cradling her like porcelain.
A slow, happy smile crossed her face as she looked at Angel, his face still and calm.
*Well, after the night we had, he should be exhausted.*
She looked at him for a while longer, then gazed past his tanned shoulder to sneak a peek at her alarm clock. The red numerals read 4:47 a. m. No, make that 4:48 a.m. They had been asleep for a little over four hours and Joyce always came in to wake Buffy up at six. She snuggled back into bed after placing a kiss on Angel's shoulder. She felt his arm slip around her waist and pull her against his chest.
*We graduate today, * Buffy thought. * I can't believe it's over. At least we're all going to school together. Except for Doyle, of course. But it's good that he's going back to Ireland. He'll be happy there. *
"What are you thinking about, beloved?" Angel asked sleepily.
"Doyle," replied Buffy honestly. She turned to look at him.
"Are you trying to make me jealous?" said Angel, his voice becoming clearer as he awoke. He looked at the clock on the bed table. Squinting, he made out the fuzzy numbers. "Damn. It's only four."
"Only four? Angel, my mom will be in here at six to wake me up. She won't be happy to find us naked in bed together, no matter what explanation we give her," Buffy said. "And what about your parents? Aren't they worried?"
Angel sat up and searched the floor by the bed for his boxers and pants. He fumbled for his heavy-duty Costello glasses on the bedside table. "No. I told them I was at Doyle's place. They'll never bother calling. Doyle's dad is a stiff drunk, and his mom is, well, in Dublin." He stood up and buttoned his pants.
Buffy was looking up at him as he dressed a veil of innocence dropping over her form.
"Do you have to go?"
Angel stretched his body across the bed and kissed her forehead gently. "Yes, Buffy, I do. We graduate in eight hours, and I'm dead tired." He grinned as he picked up his shirt from the floor. "Someone kept me up all night." He pulled on his pants and zipped them up, then buckled his belt.
"It's not all my fault," Buffy said, sitting up and holding the sheet against her chest. Her eyes followed Angel as he reached for the window and pushed it up. He got one leg outside and straddled the frame.
"I'll see you soon," Angel said. "I love you. Now get some sleep."
Then he was gone. *
Buffy ran a comb through her hair and spritzed a bit of holding spray onto her coifed curls. She squeezed them quickly for bounce and moved to pick up her class ring. It was then her fingers bumped into a small brown box. Buffy slipped on her silver ring and opened the lid of the box. Inside was a note written on a small piece of white paper.
"Buffy, I'm leaving this ring here with you, I got it for you in Ireland," Buffy read aloud, "it's a ring that shows you belong to someone. The hands mean friendship, the crown loyalty, and the heart…well, you know. It means that you belong to me and I to you. Love, Angel."
She folded the note up and slipped it into the pocket of her black dress slacks. She pushed aside the piece of cotton and picked up the ring. It was a shining ring, more exquisite than anything she'd seen in her life. She knew what it was; it was a Claddagh ring. Her mother had had one just like it.
She slipped it onto her finger and smiled at the cool feeling it brought to her ring finger. Finally, she reached for her gown and slipped it over her body.
"Buffy? Willow and Oz are here to pick you up!" shouted Joyce.
Buffy hurriedly went down the stairs, mortarboard tucked beneath her arm. "Love you, Mommy. You and Dad and Dawn will be there on time, right?"
"Of course, sweetheart." Joyce smiled and opened the front door for her daughter. "And I'll get to meet your boyfriend, Angel the valedictorian."
"Yes, you will," said Buffy. She blushed as she remembered the night before, how 'Angel the valedictorian' had worshipped her like a queen for several hours. "Bye, Mom."
"Bye, honey," said Joyce as she shut the door behind her eighteen-year-old daughter. "I know that blush. They had sex." Then she shook her head and wandered into the kitchen. "I need some chocolate *now* before I meet the man who slept with my baby girl, valedictorian or not."
*
The Scooby Gang was standing on the front steps of Sunnydale High, all in caps and gowns. The graduation ceremony would be starting soon with the procession of students.
"Buffy," said Angel as she came up the steps towards the gang.
Buffy held up her ring finger, which displayed the shining Claddagh ring. Angel kissed her and pulled her into his arms. Then he lifted his hand to show her his ring, which was the match to hers. They kissed, gently at first, and then with more fervor. Rings glinted in the afternoon light as hands gripped arms, shoulders, and curves. He was leaning over her, and she was bowed against him, moaning ever so slightly.
"Oh, gross," Xander groaned, "cut that out before you start having sex right here and I have to vomit."
"We didn't have sex!" Angel shouted out suddenly and guiltily as he pulled away from Buffy. Four heads whipped around to look at him.
"Oh, you so did," Xander said, "and you know it. You even have the glowy thing that Willow had after she and Oz slept together after Prom."
"Xander!" shouted Willow. "You weren't supposed to tell anyone that!"
"Oops," Xander said, turning pure white. He looked down at his watch. "Oh, look at the time. Time to graduate. Damn, we'll have to have this convo later."
"Wait," said Buffy. Everyone stopped. "Angel wants to tell you guys something. Angel, tell them."
"I'm going to UCLA with you guys," Angel told the group. "I'm not going to Harvard like I planned."
Willow brightened up and hugged Angel quickly. "Yay! I'm so happy! Buffy won't be all mopey and depressed for the next four years."
"Here, here," added Oz, "hey, we better get going. I can see Snyder heading towards us."
"Uh-oh," mumbled Buffy. She pushed Angel forward. "Get going, Valedictorian. You have a speech to give." Angel lifted his gown and hurried towards an angry looking Principal Snyder.
Willow leaned into Buffy and said, "So you guys…you know?"
Buffy said, "Oh, yeah." She laughed and rubbed her chin. "He told me that he wasn't leaving…and one thing lead to another…for three hours."
"THREE HOURS?" repeated Doyle, "bloody hell, is the man made of stamina or something?"
"He has a lot of mojo, huh?" Xander added.
"No," said Buffy, "and don't make jokes about it. It was wonderful…and don't mention it around my parents."
*
Angel nervously took the podium. He scanned the audience and found Buffy toying with her ring in the third row. The ring he had given her after they made love. He had to hold back a groan at the memories. He nervously tapped the edges of the podium with his fingertips.
"Faculty, students, and alumni of Sunnydale High, we are gathered here today for the Commencement Ceremony of the class of 2002." Angel looked down at his index cards. He picked them up and pocketed them, deciding to wing it.
"I know for a graduation speech you're supposed to say what a wonderful time you had, and how you wish the others a great deal of luck and happiness in the future. But I'm not going to do that. I'm going to attempt to give an honest speech.
"High school was an experience, almost a four-year war that if you escape unscathed, you are in the minority. I learned a lot from books, a lot of stale education. But this last year, this senior year, I've learned more in the way of real world knowledge than I expected."
"What the hell is he doing?" Xander whispered to Willow.
"I don't know, but I sure am interested."
Angel continued, "And I'm sure my classmates have as well. While at Sunnydale High, we have grown from teenagers into young adults. The one thing that seems to resonate with my experience, at least, is that too much value is put upon you to be beautiful-falsely, stereotypically beautiful. But that's not what being beautiful is.
"Being beautiful is the belief that you are a good person on the inside, and that you accept your own faults and abilities for how they make you who you are. Each of us is beautiful in our own way, and some people will find that out earlier than others will. So that is my advice to you, Class of 2002. Try to find the beauty on the inside, and you'll find it on the outside, too. Good luck and may you all prosper."
A round of applause followed, so loud it was nearly thunderous. Angel blushed and took his seat on the stage. The rest of the ceremony passed quickly, with Willow, Oz, and Angel receiving the highest academic honors. Before anyone realized it, Pomp and Circumstance was playing over the loud speakers. Caps were being thrown into the air and caught rapid-fire.
Buffy met Angel at the base of the stairs. They clasped hands and approached Buffy's parents and younger sister Dawn. Angel spotted Hank standing next to Joyce with his girlfriend, Anita. The two men shook hands. Buffy took Angel's elbow and introduced Dawn and Joyce to her boyfriend…her lover.
Willow came across the vibrant green lawn, unzipping her burgundy gown as she sprinted.
"Hey, Angel, Buffy- Oz's dad is taking some group photos."
"Aren't you all going to the same school next year?" Joyce asked. "That's what Buffy mentioned before the ceremony."
"Yeah, Mom, we are. But this is a graduation photo, and you only have one of them."
Angel smiled at Buffy and tucked his arm around her small waist.
Joyce leaned over to Hank. "Did you know about them?"
Hank just smiled. Finally, he said, "Sure I did. I helped get them together. It's all about spur-of-the-moment, pretend business trips to Dallas."
"What?" Joyce asked, clearly bewildered.
Buffy and Angel joined their friends on the steps of Sunnydale High.
"Hold up your diplomas!" shouted Mr. Osbourne, who was taking the photo.
The group scrunched together: Buffy, Angel, Willow, Xander, Oz, and Doyle.
"Say Friends Forever!"
"Friends Forever!" replied the group.
The flash went off, capturing the six faces on film forever.
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