Distribution: LOD, ask if you want it for your site
Feedback: YES! I KNOW A LOT OF YOU READ AND DON'T REPLY, BUT I HARDLY EVER GET FEEDBACK AND IT'S KINDA DEPRESSING!
Spoilers: B/A Canon, AtS 3/4, B/S
THE BUFFY CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE

I lay in bed at night, silently wondering what they're doing right now. I wonder if he's holding her, telling her empty promises, giving her empty rings with empty meanings, creating a flow of emotions in her empty eyes.

I try to fight down the bitter gall that burns my throat as I think of what Angel's doing with Cordelia at this very moment, and I shove my pillow against my face to muffle my screams.

I have so many questions to ask Cordelia, the woman who stole my Angel from me so swiftly I didn't even realize he was gone 'til it was too late.

Does he kiss you with an intensity that makes you crave for more? Does he kiss in a way that makes you die a millions deaths and want to die a million more? Does he lurk in the shadows, wanting only to protect you from harm so he can look upon you again?

Do his fingers trail the skin of your cheek, causing shivers to wrap around your spine and your throat to tighten? Does he rub your back gently to comfort you as you shiver, a shiver that is caused by his touch that he believes if from the cold? Does he tell you a million words with his eyes that he'd never speak with his tongue? Does he lay you down on crimson sheets and take away your innocence; loving you so well you cry out and clutch his naked shoulders, drawing blood?

Does he look at you before you kill him with helpless, loving eyes? Does he thrash in the chains you have bound him in, trapped in his nightmares of hell? Do you hold him to comfort yourself, pretending everything will work out in the end?

Does he rip your heart out in a sewer? Do you ignore his pain as you struggle with your own heart bleeding? Does he dance one final dance with you in pale, bittersweet light?

Does he look into your eyes and make your insides explode, make the world spin, make bright fireworks surround your vision? Do you clutch him, needing him like oxygen, wanting him so badly your loins ache?

Does he drink from your neck and allow the blood to flow down the curve of your back so it tickles ever so slightly?

Does he draw you closer, grabbing you tighter as he makes you his own for eternity? Does he land on top of you as you tumble to the floor? Does the sensation of his marking you cause you to writhe in ecstasy below him as he continues his torturous pleasure? Do you feel a sense of pride while he moans as you breathe your last breath?

Do you watch him as he turns and walks away from you in a puff of dark smoke?

Has he made love to you on his kitchen table? Has the power of your passion forced the table to break beneath you? Has he given up his humanity so you could live another day, only to die in the end?

Does he mourn for you in a far away land after you die, feeling his heart peel away to his feet? Have you seen him on a cold November night and never felt farther from him when he's right next to you, whispering nothings in your ear?

Do you imagine that it is he making love to you, not his evil brethren in a dilapidated house?

Do you scream out his name when it is another that is with you?

Do you miss him as much as I do?

Do you think you have done the things I have done?

Do you think you could love him more?

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