Disclaimer: NOT MINE!
Relationship: Buffy/A
AN: This is my 'Depressed Shipper' Fic of the Millenium.
From Buffy's POV
Feedback: Much appreciated, as always.

I sat in my bedroom, staring at the closed window. It was dark, and the only thing in the sky was a full, pale white moon casting a glow across the ground.

I slowly brought my hand to the cool glass and looked across and out, my eyes sweeping the ground, looking for movement. I saw none.

Hope.

I was confused for a moment, wondering why that thought had crossed my mind.

Hope and love are the two most devastating things in the world. They can also be the most beautiful. When hope and love intermingle, disaster is imminent.

Trust me, I know.

I was in love once, a very long time ago. It has been so long it doesn't even seem real. I was just a child without guidance; a troubled, lonely youth looking for companionship; the one girl in all the world chosen to slay vampires.

I latched on to the first person who understood, who knew of the darkness I lived in and wanted to help me fight the evil that lurked beyond view.

Even though I didn't know him at all, I still fell in love with him. I couldn't stop it, couldn't even slow it down. My feelings came too fast, too powerful to stop.

Many consider that to be the greatest mistake I ever made. They think I never should have loved him. Maybe I shouldn't have.

Hadn't I learned from Romeo and Juliet? Maria and Tony? Jack and Rose? Antony and Cleopatra? They were love's Martyrs, although a vast majority of them were not real, they were still martyrs of forbidden and doomed love.

I still love Angel, I will always love Angel, and I will always hate Angel. I hate him for what he's done to me. I hate him for opening up a world of darkness to me that he never filled, for showing me love and hope can destroy everything.

Love, so beautiful, can be ripped away so easily. It can be betrayed, and tarnished. Love can burn and eat away at your soul till you're wondering why you're still alive.

Hope is the fucker of them all. Hope kept me tied up in the doomed love affair that could never be anything . Hope kept me believing when there was nothing left to believe in. Hope lies.

So now I've come to a decision.

No more hope.

Feedback is great! :P I know it sucked, I was just really upset and felt the need to write something angsty!

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