RATING: PG
PAIRING: B/A
SUMMARY: Time changes everything. Except for two people and their feelings.
DISTRIBUTION: I’d be more than happy if you want to host it, just please let me know, okay?
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the characters. But you already knew that, didn’t you?
FEEDBACK: …would be greatly appreciated and responded to! *g*
AUTHOR’S NOTE: The lyrics and the title are from the song “Flinch" by Alanis Morissette.
DEDICATION: To Ralkana, for being my beta and a great friend. To evet8, I miss talking to you. To all the fabulous writers, especially Ducks, Tango, Indie, Margot…thank you for your great fic. And finally to all B/A shippers and Babblers, ‘cause you keep the hope alive!

What it’s been, over a decade
It still smarts like it was four minutes ago

It all fell apart in a moment. The precious worlds they’d built for themselves shattered to millions of pieces. Ten years attempting to forget, 3652 days trying to break free of memories and wishes, 87648 hours spent ignoring the feelings…all that meant nothing.

It felt like it was only minutes ago.

“Buffy.”

“Angel.”

The names still rolled off the tongue as easily as ever. They felt like melted chocolate, sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet, but always leaving a craving for more.

***

His eyes were telling him a story, but he couldn’t believe them. If somebody had told him that morning that he would meet her that day, he would’ve dismissed them as crazy. But that’s just what he was now. Crazy. Shaken. Torn.

She still looked as beautiful as the last time had seen her. As a matter of fact, she didn’t look a day older. Her hair was longer, pulled together in a braid that flowed down her back. She had changed her way of dressing; he guessed it was because of her work. This evening she wore a white designer suit with pinstripes, completed with black stilettos and a silver bracelet. He never would’ve imagined seeing her with a briefcase, but somehow it looked perfectly natural.

She still walked with the same ease and grace, lightly swaying her hips. Her every step looked like a dance move to him.

And her eyes were still the same, showing her every feeling and thought to the ones who could understand them. He could. He did.

Right now she was doing the same thing he was.

Trying to compose herself again.

***

The cocktail party was going wonderfully, or so felt the organizers. Their idea was to call the young people who worked in similar branches, get them to relax after work, and socialize. So far, it was working.

Maybe better than some of the guests would’ve wanted.

They just stood there looking at each other, saying nothing.

“I take it you two know each other?” asked somebody. It didn’t matter who it was. They couldn’t bother with remembering names now.

But one of them had to get out of that haze first. It was Buffy.

“Yes, we know each other. We go way back, but we lost touch in the past few years.” Not wanting to elaborate any more, she turned her attention back to Angel.

That somebody who had asked clapped his hands in joy.

“Great! I knew this party would be a success! I’ll leave you two to get reacquainted. See you later!” And that somebody left them. Alone. Together.

There weren’t any more words said between them. The only sign that the meeting had really happened were the business cards they exchanged, and the phone call the next day.

The phone call from Angel, leaving a message on Buffy’s answering machine.

“Tonight. 8 o’clock.”

***

We only influenced each other totally
We only bruised each other even more so

She came to the address five minutes late, wearing a simple black dress, and leaving her hair free. He opened the door before she had even rung the bell. The connection was still there.

“Come in.”

His apartment was an enormous loft, beautifully decorated. She thought it was probably because he was an appreciated and very highly requested interior designer.

She didn’t waste any time. They both knew now was the time to be completely honest with each other, asking and answering all the questions they needed answers for.

“Your job. How?”

“I pulled some strings and got a degree. Later, I made a name for myself,” he smirked.

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

He did.

“Eight years ago, the PTB removed the clause in my curse and made me able to walk in the sunlight. Said I needed to live in this world, and that was their way of helping me.”

Amazed, she looked at him, but then a thought crossed her mind.

“Do you still fight?”

“Yes, just not as much as before. I am still a vampire, and I have to work for my redemption.”

“Your redemption?”

He figured now was not the time for hiding things. This was their chance to start over. No secrets left.

“Shanshu. When I fight the last battle I will become human again.”

She was speechless. Something sparkled in her eyes, like a veil had been lifted from her mind.

“Why….”

“…didn’t I tell you? I don’t know when it will happen. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in 200 years. I couldn’t let you wait all your life, because it very well might not be in your lifetime,” he said gently, but she could hear the sadness in his words.

“My lifetime might be a lot longer than you think.”

Now it was his turn to be speechless.

“What…?”

“During the fight against the First, I got stabbed by a sword. It was definitely a mortal wound, but I survived. I even fought with more strength after that. Tell me, do you notice anything different about me?”

He looked at her carefully once more, although every line of her face was already carved in his memory, never to be erased.

“You look about the same as the last time I saw you…”

“That’s just it. That last time was ten years ago. Don’t you think I should’ve aged?”

His mind connected the words, but his heart couldn’t begin to understand …If it were beating, it would’ve skipped a beat. Or ten.

She knew what he was thinking about. They didn’t need words for that.

“Yes, I’m immortal. Or let’s say, I don’t age. Willow became a goddess during the fight. Later she told me that the PTB needed me like that. They said their champion couldn’t join me yet in the land of the dying, so I had to join him in the space of not-aging.”

“That means…”

“…that my fate is bound to yours. When you shanshu, I will become mortal again. And to answer your next question, I didn’t tell you about it, because I had to make peace with myself first. Later…I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

He couldn’t stand it anymore. Ten years of separation were enough. There would be plenty of time to tell their stories. Now he just had to hold her.

“Shhhh… Stay with me?”

She just curled up next to him, letting him put his arms around her. That’s all she had ever wanted.

***

What are you my blood, you touch me like you are my blood
What are you my dad, you affect me like you are my dad

Sometime in the middle of the night, they moved to the bedroom and just kept holding each other on the bed, even in sleep.

But not even then could Buffy’s memories let her rest. She woke up in cold sweat, screaming and waking Angel in the process.

“Dawn!” The first time it was a scream, but after that she just kept repeating the name quietly, like it was her mantra.

Angel held her close to him, just letting her calm down.

“What’s wrong?”

“Dawn…Do you remember her, Angel?” Buffy started crying, and Angel for once couldn’t understand why.

“Of course I do… What is the matter?” Hearing his words, Buffy burst into tears, soaking his shirt. She wasn’t able to form a word for a few minutes, but then she recovered.

“Nobody else does. After the fight, when we got away from what was once Sunnydale, she just disappeared. When I asked my friends where she was, they didn’t know what I was talking about. They don’t remember her, Angel. Only I do. And now you. I thought she was gone forever, but then I saw her again. I talked to her, and she just looked at me strangely. She doesn’t know who I am. She has a boyfriend, a mother and a father, and she is the only child. Leading a perfectly normal life. That’s what makes it a little easier to go on. But I still miss her! I know the memories aren’t real, but they feel real to me. She is my sister…” During her confession, Buffy couldn’t notice that Angel’s face had gone blank. But now she did. He just sat there staring in front of him.

“Angel?”

Nothing. He made no move to show he heard her.

“Angel?” Now she was getting scared. She started shaking him.

That’s when he looked at her again. His eyes, the deep chocolate colour she adored, were now a mix of pain, hurt and loss. She couldn’t tell what hurt her more.

Soon I’ll grow up and I won’t even flinch at your name
Soon I’ll grow up and I won’t even flinch at your name

His name was now a whisper on her lips, seeking answers.

The answer he gave was nothing like she expected.

“I had a son,” he said.

“His name was Connor. His mother was Darla. Later I will tell you all about it. A lot of bad things happened between me and him. We never really had the chance to be father and son; there was always something against us. So when W&H proposed a deal, I accepted it. His and Dawn’s fates are very similar. He thinks he grew up in a loving family with brothers and sisters, having a very happy childhood. It’s like he never existed here with me. Nobody else remembers either.”

They spent the rest of the night comforting each other, their wounds starting to heal by the mere presence of the other. Love is the best medicine that exists.

***

What are you my kin, you touch me like you are my kin
What are you my air, you affect me like you are my air

Time went by. Neither Buffy nor Angel was willing to let go this time.

Soon, their relationship was famous in their working circles. They started their own company called “Fairy Tale Homes”, where they worked together, Buffy as the architect and Angel as the interior designer. They had a lot of work, because the company was a hit, and even many celebrities hired them. Willow conjured a spell for Buffy and Angel so they could appear older when it was needed; that way the fact that they didn’t age wouldn’t be noticeable.

One day, a young couple came to them. Buffy and Angel personally met all their clients; that’s one of the things they were respected for. They always found a kind word for their clients, and did absolute wonders with their homes.

However, when this couple entered the office, there was only chaos in the heads of the Slayer and the souled vampire.

They instantly knew who the two were.

‘Dawn and Connor?!’

As it turned out, they had been a couple for a few years already and were going to get married, so now they wanted a home together. Buffy and Angel got over their shock quickly, and soon the deal was made.

They created a home for Dawn and Connor as a gift for their son and sister, a gift they could not give directly. It gave them a sense of peace, knowing they would always be there with them.

They were the last ghosts they needed to lay to rest.

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