FEEDBACK: Yes...please. This one is strange.
NOTES: this is inspired by a discussion on a message board.its kind of strange. Takes place via a series of letters. It was intended to be a funny story.but I think Joss has forever sucked the ability to write comedy out of me.so it turned into a big ole angst-fest.
DISCLAIMER: Um..definitely not mine. If they were, they wouldn't want to rip each other's throats out at the end of the next crossover.

Dear Miss Summers,

This letter is being written in regards to the assistance we provided you with on an evening last month, for which we are still owed payment. As we are in the business of helping the unfortunate, we understand that you may be unable to pay it all off at this time. Rest assured, we are willing to work out an installment plan with you to ensure that all accounts will be settled as amicably as possible.

Attached is an invoice, which will provide details for our services.

Sincerely,
Angel Investigations

**************

Angel,

What the hell do you think you are doing? First of all, you come into MY town; attack MY boyfriend (by the way, he's recovering quite nicely back on his farm in Iowa, in case you were curious). And now you expect me to pay for the tiny bit of work you did that actually helped me? I told you before you left town that I never wanted to see or talk to you again. That includes letter writing and this ridiculous bill that you sent. And what the hell are you thinking? Billing me for damage done to Cordelia's designer shoes? It wasn't my fault that she got in the way. And since when did you charge people for helping them, anyways?

Why don't you just go off and.. be with Faith, for all I care. I should've let her take care of you last year; it wouldn't have created any trouble that a good dust buster couldn't have handled. Speaking of the tramp, are you enjoying her company?

Buffy

*******************

Dear Miss Summers,

Your letter was received with much disappointment. We extended our services to you as was needed at the time. We regret the injuries and damages caused to you and yours because of the events that transpired, but wish to assure that we did our best to prevent them. Attached is a copy of the invoice we sent you upon our last correspondence. While we are willing to be patient in this matter, time is of the essence and our resources are in need of replenishing. Thanks, in no small part, to our efforts on your behalf.

As to your question about our billing policy, my employer has in the past done favors for friends or family. But in the case of our business associates, charging is a perfectly legal and traditional practice.

Also the threatening quality to your letter was not appreciated. In the future, do not contact us if that is all you intend to do. And kindly refrain from inquiring about my employer's personal affairs, as they do not involve you in any way.

Sincerely,
Miss Chase
Angel Investigations

***********************

Cordelia,

I should have known he was too cowardly to keep this up on his own. But siccing you on me? That's below even him, I would think. I thought I made myself perfectly clear that your last letter was to be just that - your last. Stop sending them or I'll make you stop. And you know I don't make idle threats!!

And just for the record, if I'm not going to pay for your stupid designer shoes, I'm certainly not going to replace the whole outfit. You were the one who wouldn't leave the fight when I told you to, so deal with it yourself. Besides, it wasn't that great an outfit anyways, made you look too pale.

As far as his personal life goes, he can sleep with every woman in L.A., for all I care. And you can tell him I said so.

Buffy

*******************

Dear Miss Summers,

It has been a year since our last correspondence, and we still have not received the payment we are owed. As was stated in our previous letter, we incurred a lot of expenses and injuries because of our efforts to aid you. We feel we have been more than patient in this matter and would appreciate your financial compensation for them.

Attached is a copy of the invoice, interest charges included. Kindly respond as quickly as possible, or we may be forced to take official action to collect this payment. I assure you, we can be quite tenacious when it comes to getting what we want.

Sincerely,

Angel Investigations

*********************

Geez, you guys just don't give up, do you? And here I thought I was finally free of you, for all the good it does me now. Or haven't you heard? Riley came back at the beginning of this year, but didn't stay for very long. No doubt it was because of the encounter with all of you last year. He kept talking about how I had "unresolved feelings" about the Angel situation. I personally have no idea what he is talking about, but he split anyway. So Angel, please be sure to stay as far away from Sunnydale as you can from now on. I don't need you ruining yet another relationship of mine. You know, the kind of relationship I can have with a living guy.

Oh, and I don't know what illusions you're under, but there are no official means you can take to get any money from me. You're not exactly a licensed detective, now are you?

Buffy

***********************

Cordelia,

What's this? It's been a year since your last letter, and I haven't heard back from you at all. Finally given up, have you? I thought you said you didn't give up easily. I won't be giving you one cent, just for the record.

Oh, and how is soul boy doing? Dating anybody new? You can tell him that I am.and I'm perfectly happy about it, too.

Buffy

**********************

Cordelia,

Wow, yet another year has gone by and still no word from all of you. I can only assume this is still the correct address to write to and that you are still doing your "saving the world" gig with Angel. How is he, by the way? Avoiding sharp wooden objects, I hope.

Oh, I've recently moved, so I put my new address in the letter, should you feel the need to harass me some more.

Buffy

******************************

Buffy,

Saying that I was shocked to receive your letters is an understatement. I found them while cleaning out Cordelia's old files.

Unfortunately, if you were writing to Cordelia, she has since moved on. While I miss her companionship and assistance, I found it wasn't fair to hold her back from having a more traditional life. She got married a few months ago and is expecting her first child. Supposedly, I'm going to be a godfather. She said she liked the idea that I would always be around to look after him or her. Rather a daunting thought, but a nice one. Almost as nice as having my own child might have been.

How is everyone in Sunnydale? Doing well, I hope. Myself, I've been able to avoid being staked, though I've had a few close calls. Faith has been a remarkable help in keeping me from doing anything too foolish. Bet you never thought you'd hear that. And to answer your question about her, there was never anything romantic between us. Perhaps I should have told you so a long time ago, but I assumed I was a part of your life that was over and didn't think it would matter anymore.

I hope you're doing well. I was glad to hear that you had been dating again. I'm sorry things didn't work out with Riley, he seemed like a nice enough man, when he wasn't trying to kill me, anyways.

Though I'm not sure why you even asked, no, I'm not currently dating anybody. I did for a short while, not long after our last encounter in Sunnydale. But if you'll allow yourself to at least remember one of the good times we had together, you'll recall what I said about how often it is that I fall in love.

I realize that the last thing you want is to be hearing from me, let alone taking advice from me. But I do want to tell you this. Life is too short to hold grudges, even when that life is eternal. We both said and did things we didn't really mean; at least, I know I didn't mean them. I can't speak for you, of course. Though I'm ashamed to admit that I did so far too often in the past.

Oh, and what did you mean by you weren't going to pay me? Pay me for what?

Angel

***************

Angel,

Wow, even just writing your name takes me back a bit. I was surprised to hear from you after all this time. For all I knew, you'd completely forgotten about me, except to try and get money from me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it was Cordelia who was trying to wrangle money from me. Did she ever replace those shoes?

I read what you said about holding grudges, and life being too short. In my case, this is especially true. I've been lucky so far, but sooner or later I know that I'll meet a demon that is just a little bit faster than me, a little bit stronger. But that doesn't bother me anymore, its just part of being the slayer. I don't waste time anymore; I try to live for the moment instead of wishing for things I know I'll never have. Too bad I couldn't have learned that lesson a long time ago.

And even though it may mean very little after all that has happened between us, I wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I doubted you. I'm sorry I attacked you. And I'm sorry that I hurt you so badly. Looking back at everything that has happened, I realize that I acted wrongly towards you. I was hurting, and I don't deal well with pain. Strange, when you think about how much of it I've had to deal with. It took me a long time to come to grips with the fact that none of this is your fault, anymore than it was mine. We got a raw deal, and I wish things could have turned out differently, but I know now that you did the best you could with what you'd been handed.

Thank you for what you said, about making decisions that both of us should have made together. You always meant well when you made them, but it hurt to realize you didn't trust me enough to let me in on them. But there is no need to feel guilty or apologize for anything. It's all in the past now, there isn't any use in dwelling on it, except to learn from our mistakes. Besides, I forgave you a long time ago, even if I wasn't able to admit that.

And I do remember what you told me about how many times you'd been in love, I don't think I could have forgotten that if I tried, and believe me when I say that I did try.

After all that has passed, I ask you to remember something that I once told you. Remember when you were dying? I know that I do, and it hurts as much to remember it as it did to go through it. You told me that you were ready to go, were ready to leave me. That it was over.

Even with all that has passed, happiness clause or no, there is one thing that I am more certain of now more than ever. It's never over.

Buffy

*****************

Buffy,

I spoke to Cordelia about the bills she was sending you. She admits to doing it, but refuses to apologize. She was angry with you, and still is, for everything that happened. She figured that since I wouldn't talk about it, the only way to get any satisfaction out of the deal was to harass you like that. It's a good thing she didn't do that to all my clients. And no, she never did replace those shoes. Trust me, I heard about it on a daily basis.

A long time ago, I convinced myself that you would indeed have it all, one day. The house, the husband, the kids. I know now that you were the one who saw things more clearly, that day in the sewer. You were right, you weren't meant to have that normal life, though no one deserves it more than you do

But I don't regret leaving you.

I realize how cold that sounds, but let me explain. We were killing each other, not physically, but emotionally. We both wanted what we could never have and it would have driven us apart eventually. And as much as it hurt to be apart from you, it hurt even more being with you, knowing I could never really have you.,

We've both done so many things since we parted ways - some good, some bad. But I don't regret a single thing, because it has brought us to this point. I can no longer fool myself into believing that you'll see fifty, let alone thirty. Just know that when that day comes, and until I've done all I can do here, a part of me will go with you.

The best part.

Yours,
Angel

*********************

Angel,

Buffy tells me you've been writing to her. A couple years ago, that might have prompted a visit with a stake, because if you ever hurt her again, I'd have no hesitations about killing you. Since she seems to be okay with it, even if your letters do make her cry, I'm okay with it too.

Oh, before I forget to tell you, Tara and I were working on a spell to defeat the latest evildoer that came to visit the hellmouth, but we screwed up. It sort of fixed that little.glitch in your curse.

Oh, and just to let you know, Buffy's new favorite food is Italian.

Willow

***********************

Buffy,

I know you don't like to leave the hellmouth unattended, but it seems I'm in need of some assistance on a new case. Something about a spell gone wrong. Faith can cover for you while you're away.

I'll even take you out to dinner afterwards. Italian sound good?

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