Feedback: Yes..but be gentle, please. After everything Joss is putting me through, I'm fragile! And because I'm nervous about this one. It's a bit weird.
Disclaimer: Uh huh..sure. I like to torture many people who actually believe in what Buffy and Angel have together. So no..not mine!
Notes: Based on the spoilers that said Spike would mislead Angel into fighting Riley and Faith being in L.A. with Angel. Oh..this is a very angry fiction - lots of Pod-Buffy bashing in it. Character death too! Quite angsty!
Dedication: To Maayan, for her help and for being a damn fine writer!

The sight that met her eyes had her standing in stunned disbelief. Riley was covered in blood, his hands raised in weak defense of the next hit. But most shocking of all was his assailant. Angel.

Riley's cry of pain was all it took to propel her into action. Ignoring her own physical aches, she plunged into the battle. Within seconds she had Angel pinned to the ground, her stake poised above his heart. Her furious gaze met his bewildered one, but she didn't take the time to analyze it before letting her fists fly. He didn't fight back and was quickly moaning with an intensity equal to that of Riley.

"I tried to stop him, really I did. But he wouldn't stop, Slayer. He just wouldn't stop." Spike approached her carefully, staring wide-eyed at the duo on the ground. She looked back down at Angel, who was glaring furiously at his childe and seemed to be on the verge of speaking.

"Oh no, you don't. This time you're going to take the punishment you deserve." Knowing she had to do it quickly, or she wouldn't be able to, she plunged the stake into his chest. Angel only had time to give her one last agonized look before he disappeared, his dust coating her clothes. A mocking round of applause was the only sound that followed, as she had somehow forgotten to breathe. Any satisfaction she might have thought to gain from eliminating the cause of such a deeply rooted pain was brief, practically non-existent. But she forced herself to choke down the emptiness she now felt. Angel had deserved to die, after what she had learned from Faith, and what he had done to Riley.the remembrance stirred her anger again, overcoming the numbness.

"Bravo, Slayer. I truly didn't think you had it in you." He glanced at the injured man laying only a foot or so away from her, but her gaze remained locked on the now empty spot under her. "And all to save your precious commando." Spike burst into slightly hysterical laughter. "In all the ways I pictured my sire's demise, I couldn't have imagined it like this." He nudged Riley with his foot, and Buffy hurried to his side when she heard him moan again. "He looks half dead himself. Might want to take him to the hospital before you kill someone else who loves you." In her concern for Riley, she barely heard his words. When the rest of the gang came to see if she was all right, no one even bothered to ask about Angel. And she didn't bother to explain.

****

It wasn't until two days later that she thought about him again. And that was only because of Cordelia's frantic phone call. She'd been so busy dealing with Riley that she hadn't even thought to call them, not that she would have known what to say. But somehow, her silence was answer enough. That was how she found herself in the position she was now in. They had chosen to gather in Riley's hospital room, so that he could explain his part and hear hers. When it all finally came out, Cordelia had to be physically restrained by both Xander and Giles, though even they were gazing at her in what could almost be called hatred. Willow and Tara had already left the room in disgust, and Riley couldn't even bring himself to look at her. Whether it was in shame or shock at her actions, she didn't know. And she was too numb to even try to figure it out.

Angel was dead, by her hand. She had done the one thing she had never pictured herself doing. And the worst of it was that while her actions had been fueled by a blind hatred, his had been fueled by love. A love that only now, after it was too late, she was beginning to feel again. She wanted to be angry at Spike's deception, but hated herself too much to find the energy. She looked up at Cordelia again, only to find that the intense fury had abated. Somehow, this new calmness was far more frightening. But even more so were her next words.

"You'll answer for this, I'll make sure of it."

She was too numb with grief and pain to fight them as the herded her towards the car, not even giving her a chance to say goodbye to Riley.

***

It seemed like very little time had passed when they pulled up in front of Angel's building. She felt her heart nearly stop when Wesley came tearing down the steps. He only listened to half of Cordelia's words before flinging his arms around the brunette comfortingly. Buffy wept at how much loyalty Angel had inspired in those around him, but no one so much as squeezed her hand to comfort her. She was shocked by Xander's reaction most of all. Xander, who had always professed to despise the vampire, was grieving so intently that he almost ignored Wesley's presence altogether. It was Cordelia who led them to the post office, of all places, then underneath it. There was no hesitation as she threw some herbs into a bowl and chanted. A blinding light flashed and she was shoved towards it, but not before Cordelia removed an expensive bracelet from her wrist and forced it into Buffy's palm.

"You'll need a gift, a lot of good it'll do you."

She found herself in a white room, lit by a bluish light. She barely had time to take in her surroundings before she felt the bracelet leave her hand. Looking around, she saw two gold beings staring disdainfully at her.

"Come before us, lower being." It was the male who spoke. Her pride flared at being referred to in such a way, but she wisely bit her tongue.

"What am I doing here? And who are you people?"

The woman turned to look at the man, shaking her head doubtfully. "Is this truly the one he gave up his life for?"

"So it would seem. Perhaps you should allow me to judge next time, when it comes to matters of the heart." The woman didn't respond, merely looked back at Buffy.

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again when the male glared at her. "We know what you have done, Slayer. And you will suffer for it." Defenses now fully raised, she couldn't help but form tight fists. "And are you the ones that are going to dole out this suffering? Haven't I already been through enough?"

The woman raised an eyebrow at her. "Obviously not, if the pain of others is so easy for you to ignore. And we do not refer only to your fallen warrior."

She knew it was probably unwise, but she glared at them anyway. "What are you talking about?"

"All will be revealed to you in time, lower being."

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

The male just shrugged dismissively. "It is what you are, is it not?" He looked toward his counterpart, who nodded, then looked back towards Buffy. "But we haven't the time for such trivialities. The one with whom we are able to communicate has brought you before us for a reason, and I see no purpose in delaying it further."

"Then just spit it out." She had already had an awful couple of days and was in no mood to be patient.

"Truly, you are an impetuous child, aren't you?"

"I'm not a child."

The female smiled sadly. "In the eyes of the one who loved you, that is what you have become. Fortunately for him, his suffering has ended."

'Might want to take him to the hospital before you kill someone else who loves you'. Spike's words rang in her mind, and she again felt the pain and guilt rush through her. "I didn't mean to do it.it all happened so quickly."

"Ah, but it didn't, young one. We have watched you for a long time now. And while your warrior held himself proudly, sacrificing all for your happiness, you have done nothing but scorn that sacrifice." The woman spoke sadly, and Buffy couldn't deny the truth of her words.

She frowned as their earlier words came back to her, then proceeded hopefully. "What did you mean, his suffering has ended?"

"His was a greater destiny than that which you allowed him. A destiny which he would have fulfilled. We saw no reason to deny him his reward."

"But he's not alive to receive it."

The male took over, sending her a condescending look. "His soul lives on, he is very much alive."

"Then he can see me?" Somehow, the thought gave her comfort.

"He does not wish to see you." Coldness rushed through her at those words; didn't he still love her at all? The female continued on. "Selfish child, even now, you cannot be happy for what he has achieved."

"But I always thought that."

"You were destined for one another?" The petite figure nodded gently. "You were.all was proceeding as was foretold. It was you did not meet our.expectations."

"After everything I've done for you.you were the ones who called me, weren't you?" She couldn't help the bitter tone in her voice.

The woman shook her head. "No, but we represent those that did. And while all that you have done is a credit to you, all that you have become is not."

Buffy shook her head, unwilling to believe that this was all she had left of him. "But if we were meant to be together, how can he be at peace if."

"If you are not with him?" The male started to laugh. "Ah, such egos you mortals have." The woman waved him silent.

"His soul is at peace, and he is content with the memories of the time you had together. Just as he realized he had to be in life. You should have done the same." She gave Buffy a reproving stare.

"But all the pain.everything we went through."

"Did you truly think you could have such a gift without suffering for it? Few mortals are blessed with the kind of love you shared. It came with a price. A price you weren't willing to pay."

Tears came unbidden to her eyes. "But I tried, I went through so much for him, because of him. How much was I supposed to take?"

"All we asked of you was that you remained true to the love you shared, true to yourself."

Resentment rushed through her. "So I was supposed to spend my time alone?"

The woman sighed heavily, waving her hand for silence. "There are many forms of love, each with it's own beauty. But you betrayed the most important one of all when you turned away from him."

"But he left me." She was shuddering now, wanting to curl up and vanish from their sight.

"And that alone should indicate the strength of his love for you, child. But you couldn't see past your own pain. That is your failing, your betrayal."

The male sighed impatiently. "Enough of this pointless banter. We do not cater to the whims of lower beings."

Straightening, Buffy leveled her gaze at them. "What am I supposed to do now?"

The woman looked right back at her. "Continue fighting for us, as it was decreed. Live your life, albeit, not the way you were intended to."

Tears came to her eyes at the finality of that statement. "What about Angel? Is that it for us? I screwed up and there's no going back?"

"Nothing in life is immutable, not even death." The man sounded strangely reassuring now, as if he understood that she would need strength in the time to come. "Amends can always be made. If nothing else, your warrior should have taught you this." She could only nod, and the sympathy disappeared abruptly. "Your battle will be harder now, through events of your own creation. Learn well from what you have lost."

Before she could speak again, she was flung out of the chamber and landed hard on top of Cordelia. The brunette shoved her off and stood up, not even bothering to brush off her clothing.

"Cordelia, I'm so."

The brunette held up a hand. "Don't even say it, you vindictive bitch. I don't have the time or the patience to deal with you right now. I have a business to close and a funeral to arrange."

Tears that had never really stopped increased their flow, and Buffy brushed them away impatiently. "If it makes it any easier for you."

"Nothing you can possibly say will make this any easier for me, so don't even try." Head bowed, Cordelia turned to walk out of the room, but turned back to glare fiercely. "If you ever cared about Angel, you'll do me a favor."

"Anything." She was past fighting now.

"Stay out of my life. If I see you again, I'll kill you myself." And with that, Angel's co-worker and friend left the room.

"She means it, you know." Wesley's voice drifted into the room from the doorway, but he made no move to come any closer. There was none of the anger that Cordelia had displayed, only a deep sadness and an intense weariness. Somehow, it was worse.

Buffy gave him a puzzled frown. "I still don't get something. Why you? Why are you here? You never even liked Angel. And you certainly never trusted him."

"Either did you, apparently." She blinked quickly; trying to swallow the bitter taste his words had given her. Her old Watcher just sighed deeply. "People change, Buffy, you did. Fortunately Angel was kind enough to give me a second chance. He was like that, you know. Always willing to forgive, no matter how difficult."

"Faith." The rogue slayer's presence now made perfect sense. And she knew with a sudden clarity that she had been lying about her and Angel, only he hadn't expected to have to defend himself to her, not about that.

"Yes, even Faith. Angel was making progress with her, before your untimely arrival. It's too bad he never got to finish the job, what an ally she might have been."

"Don't even try to pin that one on me." Self-righteous anger poured out of her in a rush. "Your gold friends in there already told me about all the work they have planned for me. I don't need to deal with Faith too."

"But you do." He gave her a furious look. "All the work that Angel was doing here, will fall to you eventually. You may not have noticed it, but he was making a real difference. I only hope you'll be able to handle it all by yourself."

"But I have my friends, I won't be by myself."

"Are you sure about that? After everything that's happened, I wouldn't count on them too much.. at least, not for quite some time. You'd do well to remember that." He laughed bitterly. "Strange, I always figured Faith would be the one we needed protecting from."

Then he was gone, and Buffy was alone.

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