FEEDBACK: If it isn't too much trouble??
DISCLAIMER: The song is Trisha Yearwood's and the characters are Joss'
DISTRIBUTION: Be great if you want it..but let me know.
NOTES: Basing this on fan speculations that a misunderstanding between Buffy and Angel will allow him to feel he can move on and see another woman. This story is from her POV, scattered thoughts on her relationship with Angel. Oh.and I can't really write fictions based on songs, so this may very well suck. But I had to get the idea out of my head..it was driving me nuts.

I can see you turn away,
When I ask what for
You say it isn't anything,
But I'm not sure

He'd been enigmatic the first time they had met, so why had she ever thought that would change? And even if only for a while, things between them were going smoothly, he seemed genuinely happy. But there was a melancholy look in his eyes that she'd never been able to completely drive away, even if it diminished after time. Who had caused it?

Something underneath the skin,
Won't let you be
And you try to keep it in,
But I can see

He hadn't said anything about his past. Somehow, she had just known it was a painful one, one that he bore stoically. Never before had she met someone so strong, so in control. But even through all the walls he'd so carefully constructed, the pain was still visible.

There was nothing she wanted more then to break those walls down, but even with all the caring and compassion he'd bestowed upon her, he never revealed that part of himself.

It made her heart break more than a little to see him hurting like that.

The woman before me
Must have been hard on you
Cause that hurt in your eyes,
I never put you through
Sometimes I think you must be talking to
The woman before me and you.

She finally met her, the one who haunted Angel, but it was purely by accident. From the stricken look on Angel's face, she knew that more then anything he had wanted to avoid this. She didn't have to ask if the petite blonde was just a client. Even had she not seen the picture and the ring that Angel had no idea she knew about, she still would have known. Even through the anger that was passing between them, she was able to feel the intensity of the true emotion they felt for one another. She had no doubts about the hatred the tiny woman felt for her, even though they had only gazed at each other across a tension filled room.

And her heart broke a little more.

Sometimes in an argument,
It will show
When you go a little farther than,
You meant to go

They didn't fight very often; the thought of even a minor conflict coming between them seemed to frighten Angel so badly. But on the occasions that they did, he didn't hold back. It seemed as if years of pent up rage and frustration would burst out of him all at once, sometimes saying things that made little or no sense to her, accusing her of things she hadn't done.

I know you don't mean the things,
That you say
I just want to ease the pain,
That's in your way

But once the fire and the heat of the fights passed, he was again the gentle, loving Angel that she'd come to know and love, even if she hadn't confessed the last part to him yet. And amidst a soft kiss and a tentative embrace, she would gently offer her reassurances that she wasn't going to leave him, answering the unasked question that shone in his eyes. But there were times when even that wasn't enough.and it was then that she would lay him down, taking him into her arms. And after their passion was spent, he would continue to lie there, just letting her run her hands through his hair soothingly.

The woman before me
Must have been hard on you
Cause that hurt in your eyes,
I never put you through
Sometimes I think you must be talking to
The woman before me and you

After that first meeting with Buffy he'd finally told her some of his past, about losing his soul and the torments he'd endured upon its return. And about the last time he'd gone to Sunnydale to help her. Though he had been unable to go into specifics about what it was that had transpired between the two of them, she found herself hating the woman who held such sway over his heart, yet continued to reject it. Found herself torn between wanting to make Buffy face up to what she had in Angel's love and wanting to keep that love for herself.

In the end, she chose selfishly.

If there are sorrows that bring back a tear,
Don't let them keep us apart
You ought to know you've got nothing to fear,
Here in my heart

Even through all the sorrows they shared together, she found there were more good times than bad. And she couldn't help but wonder if that was how it had been between him and Buffy. When they looked back on their time together, did they regret even trying, or treasure what good times they had shared?

Though he never spoke of those times again, she knew Angel still held them close to his heart. But what of the other one? The one who had caused him this pain to begin with?

She was too afraid to find the answer to that question.

They both knew her love was safe for him, that it wouldn't cause him any pain. But their reasons differed. Her certainty came from her devotion, his from the reluctant knowledge that she would never completely have his heart.

Yes, her love was safe for him. But it would never complete him.

Cause you and I will never be,
Like the past
Whatever kind of memories,
That you have

The memories were both a blessing and a curse for Angel. Memories she knew she would never be able to compete with. So many times he'd tried to apologize for not being able to offer her more, for needing her too much to let her go and find someone who could love her and only her. But he'd made that mistake once before, and swore he wasn't about to do it again, wasn't able to let her go. And she wasn't about to let him, not as long as he needed her.

Nothing's going to hurt you now
Can't you see?
I already made a vow,
That I can keep

The only problem was, she somehow knew he wouldn't be able to do the same. Wouldn't be able to make that vow. She could only feel sadness at the realization, no resentment.

Eventually, even their hatred would burn out, leaving only the love.

He wouldn't need her then.

The woman before me
Must have been hard on you
Cause that hurt in your eyes,
I never put you through
Sometimes I think you must be talking to
The woman before me and you

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