Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Buffy and Angel belong to Joss and Co. The real people belong to me. They are my puppets and they do what I tell them to! Nah, they belong to themselves. Too bad though. Cause I could use some slaves.
Distribution: BA_Fluff archive, my site, anyone else who has my permission. If you have yet to get it, ask and you'll get a yes.
Feedback: Please. I love it. Gets me to write more.
Note: This is in response to Ivy's Birthday challenge. The challenge is at the end of the story. Somehow this turned out to be a comedy. So it's stupid and hopefully funny. At least most of it.
Dedication: To Ivy. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! ENJOY!!!

The air was light. There was cheer everywhere you looked. It was Ivy's 19th birthday and she and all of the B/A Shippers were having a huge party. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IVY!!!" everyone yelled as Ivy finished blowing out all of her candles. Ivy looked around at all of the people in the room. Serena, Bern, Maria, Cass, Samantha, Felicity, Kiley and Genevieve were all there. These were her fellow Shippers. The same people that have the same insanity that she does when it comes to Buffy. Especially when it comes to Buffy and Angel. "Hey Ivy!" Serena yelled, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Don't you think it's time to open your gifts?"

"Oh yeah! I get those! Let's go! Everyone form a circle and we'll go around it!" They did just that, and in a half-hour, Ivy had all of her gifts unwrapped. There was paper and ribbons everywhere. And Ivy had put all of the bows from the gifts on her head. Her gifts included a copy of the Sixteen Candles movie, soundtrack, and signed movie poster (It's only Ivy's favorite movie ever!), candles of all sizes and scents, a signed pic of Sarah and David together, and a dachshund she named Heidi. As the shippers and her where cleaning up the mess, there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it!" Samantha yelled.

"Uh guys?" they heard Sam say from the door. "You gotta come see this." So all eight of the other Shippers huddled behind Sam at the door.

"What is it?" Felicity asked.

"I'm not sure. It's marked to you, Ivy."

"Yay! Another present!"

"I don't know," Cass said. "Look at the postmark," she told them, realizing what got Sam all weirded out.

"It's from California. Who do I know in California?" Ivy asked. "Wait, ohmigod, that says Sunnydale! But that can't be possible! Sunnydale doesn't exist! It's fictional!" Ivy exclaimed.

"Why don't you open it?" Genevieve and Maria suggested.

Ivy swallowed hard. "Ok." She carefully tore at the wrapping. She dug through the peanuts until she found a small paper package. She carefully undid the string and took off the paper. In her hand, she held a black box. She undid the clasp slowly and opened the box. Inside was..

Announcer: We now interrupt this show to bring you the following commercial.

Barbie: Hey Ken! Why don't you come over to my house tonight?

Ken: I can't Barbie!

Barbie: Why not?

Ken: Because I'm going out in my new car!

<*Cut to Ken in a Dodge Viper>

Announcer: Dodge Viper. Any guy would give up a chance to be with Barbie to ride with a Viper!

<*Commercial over>

So, before the break, we were watching as Ivy opened the box. She gasped when she saw the contents of the box. "What is it?" Bern asked.

"It's a vortex transporter." Seeing the confused faces, she explained, "It lets you travel to different realities. Pack your things, kiddos, we're going to Sunnydale!"

They all separated to get their stuff and met back at Ivy's place within a half-hour.

Time 3:33 PM, Ivy's House

"Do we really want to do this? How do we even know that we are going to Sunnydale?" Sam asked, shifting her bag onto her other shoulder.

"We don't. But don't you think it's about time we have some fun?" Maria asked.

"This isn't fun. Fun is playing Trivial Pursuit and winning!" Cass yelled at her.

"Well, too bad. We're going." Serena said, as she pulled Cass through the vortex.

They landed in Sunnydale right outside the mansion on Crawford Street. "Why would they drop us here?" Ivy asked. "No one's been here since Angel left." Her questioned was answered as they heard soft sobbing coming from the living room of the mansion. "You guys stay here." Ivy told them. Figuring it was her birthday, and they would call her on the fact that she's not their master later, the shippers plopped down on the ground. "So, anyone for Trivial Pursuit?" Cass asked. They all groaned.

>*~*

Ivy cautiously entered the mansion. She was surprised what she saw. There in a heap on the couch was..

Announcer: Hey kiddos! It's time for another commercial! Aren't we happy? Oh, don't be that way! We have a great commercial for you!

Audience Member: Oh, come on! Just get on with it so we can get back to the show!

Announcer: Fine! Looks like we have a gum commercial!

Singers: Double your pleasure, double your fun. That's the statement of the great mint of double mint gum. Double your sentiment, your merriment. Double your moment of fun! Double your excitement with the right mint. For freshness, it's the only one! Double your pleasure, double your fun. That's the statement of the great mint of double mint gum!

<*Commercial Ends>

Announcer: Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

Audience Member Two: Are you kidding? Like anyone wants to be told by people who have obviously taken too much of something that double mint gum is the best because they have twins! It's ridiculous!

Announcer: <*grumbles> Fine, here's your show.

Ivy looked in shock at seeing Buffy on the couch. "Buffy?" she asked hesintely.

Buffy jumped off the couch and looked at her. "How do you know me? Who are you?"

"I'm Ivy. I'm here on vacation. And I know you, well, because I just do. Why are you crying?"

"It's none of your business. I think you need to leave."

Ivy put her hands on her hips in a determined fashion. "I'm not going anywhere. Not until you tell me why you're crying. Is it because of Angel?"

"How do you know Angel?" Buffy asked skeptically.

"I just do. You can say we're close." Ivy told her. Before she knew what was happening, Buffy had launched at her and had her pinned to the ground. She was about to ask Ivy, well, tell Ivy to tell her how she knew Angel when a voice came from the door. "Well, isn't this interesting. Ivy, I thought you were supposing to help Buffy. Not let her kill you. What are you doing on the ground?" Bern asked.

Buffy, startled, gave Ivy the perfect opportunity to get free. She twisted away from Buffy, and went over the where the other shippers were standing. "She attacked me!" Ivy yelled.

"Now now. That's not nice, Buffy. We need to play fair." Cass scolded.

"Who the hell are you?!" Buffy asked again, but this time with a rising voice.

"We're the Shippers!" they all exclaimed at the same time.

Announcer: Yes, it's that time again! Commercial!

Audience Member One: Oh come on, man! Give it a break!

Announcer: Hey! It's not my fault that the author needs to sleep!

Cass: Yeah, sorry guys. It's 2 AM. I'm beat. I'll continue tomorrow.

Audience Member Two: Well, if it's for you, then ok.

Announcer: Now that's not fair. Why do you get special treatment?

Cass: <*slaps him on the back> Because I'm the author. Night.

Announcer: <*grumbles> night. <*Lights shut off> great, now I'm going to trip over something.

<*Infomercials run while Cass sleeps>

Announcer: Good morning boys and girls! It's now time to start your Sunday morning programs! Aren't we excited?

Audience Member: Just get on with it! I want to know what happens in Sunnydale!

Announcer: <*sighs> I get no respect. When we last left the Shippers, Ivy had gone into see Buffy crying on the couch. Ivy almost got her ass kicked, but Bern came to the rescue. Well, kinda. So the Shippers came in and Felicity was just about to tell Buffy who they were. We now return to your regularly scheduled program.

<*Cut to Mansion Scene>

"Shippers? What's that?" Buffy asked.

Felicity took a deep breath and started, "Shippers are fans that are devoted to a coupling on a show or in real life. We're B/A Shippers. We support you and Angel because we know that your love is true. We also know that you want to be with him more than you do Riley."

Buffy, took a deep breath and choked back a sob when Felicity mentioned Angel. "How do you know all of this?" she asked.

"We just do. You have to trust us." Serena told her sincerely.

"Why should I? You come here, and you tell me you know all of this stuff and you expect me to believe you?!"

"Look, you just have to! Now do you want to get Angel back or what?" Ivy asked her annoyed.

"But what about Riley?"

"Riley who? To us, he doesn't exist. We're in denial. So come on! We gotta go to LA now!" Cass said.

The nine shippers plus one Slayer made their way to LA. They looked up at the building where Angel lived. "So, um, who goes in and who doesn't?" Kiley asked.

"Let me go first," Cass told them. At their looks, she told them, "Angel and I know each other." Not waiting to answer their questions, Cass entered the building. She slowly made her way into his office. Surprising a vampire is not the best thing to do. "Angel?" She called.

"In here," he heard him answer. She went into his office. He looked up from his desk. "Cass! How are you? What are you doing here?"

"I'm good. I'm here on a mission and she's right outside."

"What are you talking about?"

<*Commercial>

Announcer: Sorry, kiddos, it's time for the author to go to school! She'll see you at 5 tonight!

Cass: Believe me, I really don't want to go! Bye!

<*Cheesy 80s music plays>

<*Cass walks into the studio at 10 PM>

Announcer: Where the hell have you been?! You were supposed to be here five hours ago! <*Baby starts to cry>

Cass: Oh shit. I gotta run. I'm babysitting my nephew. Show them Angel and Buffy moments. That should take care of them!

<*Runs to go get Tyler>

<*Cass walks back in the studio>

Cass: There he's all better. Ok, where were we in the story? Oh right. I was just about to tell Angel when I meant. Well, how bout we find out what's going on outside?

<*Cut to Outside of Angel Investigations>

"I can't do this! I can't! What was I even thinking? He doesn't want me! I'm sure of it! Let's go!" Buffy was frantic.

Ivy grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her fiercely. "Damn, she has strength," Kiley commented. Everyone agreed.

"Buffy! Stop this! To quote Lofou from Beauty and the Beast, 'You gotta pull yourself together!" Ivy told Buffy. Buffy started sulking. "Oh no you don't! Do not make me sing the song! Don't do it!"

"Why should I be happy? He's probably up there having the time of his life!"

"With Cass? She's probably annoying him with her crack stories. So they are close. I don't know how, but trust me, she would never do that to you. Besides she has her own honey. Now if you'll excuse me, you're still pouting. So here I go!:

IVY
Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Buffy,
Looking so down in the dumps.
Ev'ry gal here'd love to be you, Buffy,
even when taking your lumps.
There's no chick in town as admired as you,
You're everyone's favorite gal.
Everyone's awed and inspired by you,
and it's not very hard to see why!

No one's slick as Buffy,
no one's quick as Buffy,
no one's stake's as incredibly sharp as Buffy's.
For there's no gal in town half as slayer,
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Bern, Sam or Kiley,
and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on.

IVY and SHIPPERS
No one's slain like Buffy,
a queenpin like Buffy,
No one's got a swell cross in her bag like Buffy.

BUFFY
As a Slayer, yes, I'm intimidating!

IVY and SHIPPERS
My, what a gal, that Buffy!

Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip hips!"
Buffy is the best and the rest is all drips.

No one fights like Buffy,
Stakes those vamps like Buffy,

KILEY

In the field, no one slays like Buffy.

SAM, SERENA, FELICITY
For there's no one as burly and brawny.

BUFFY
As you see I've got crosses to spare.

IVY
Not a bit of her scraggly or scrawny,

BUFFY
That's right!
And every vamp runs away from me in fear.

SHIPPERS
No one hits like Buffy,

SERENA, GENEVIEVE, MARIA
Matches wits like Buffy,

IVY
In a staking match nobody stakes like Buffy.

BUFFY
I'm especially good at dusting vamps!<*DUST>!

ALL
Ten vamps for Buffy!

IVY
And her name's
B-U-F-...F...
B-U-F-F-...Y
B-U-F-F-Y...
Oh!

ALL
Buffy!

"You know what? I can do this!" Buffy said as they finished their song. "All we have to do is wait for Cass."

<*Cut to Angel's Office>

"Ok, explain this again. You want me to do what?" Angel asked Cass.

"Go outside and see Buffy."

"Um, hello? Sunlight plus vampire equals dust? Remember?"

"Why do you question me Angel? You should know by now that I know what I'm talking about. Now trust me, you can go out in the light. I promise."

Hesitantly, Angel replied. "Okay, let's go. You know what? When you first came here, I thought you were going to tell me one of your crack stories."

Laughs. "Well, I haven't been on it for a while. A whole two days! I got to go get some, thanks for reminding me! Did I ever tell you about the time I was left painted pink and naked in the dumpster?"

"No, and I'd appreciate it if we kept it that way."

"Party pooper. Oh well, you're missing out on a kick story!"

Cass and Angel went outside and saw that the Shippers were in a bit of an argument. "Spike is so mine!" Sam yelled at Bern.

"Oh no he's not! He's mine!" Bern argued.

"No way! You got Angelus! You don't need both!" Sam looked like she was about to smack Bern.

"Yes I do!"

"No you don't!"

"Guys! Would you please stop this nonsense? You only get them in WAR, you know this!" Felicity separated them.

Angel whispered to Cass. "War? Oh yeah, were you come and have adventures with us on BA_Fluff? I remember you telling me about that." Cass shrugged.

"A-Angel?" Buffy asked. "What are you doing here? In the sunlight?" She came and ran her hand across his cheek softly, as if she would touch him, he would disappear. He laughed and she jumped into his arms. Angel spun her around in circles, all the time both of them laughing. He stopped and slowly lent down to kiss her. Their lips met with a fiery passion. "Aww." They heard all of the shippers say. Angel looked over at them and thanked them.

"Hey, no problem" they said at the same time.

"There is one thing I'd like to know, Cass," Serena said.

"Hmm?"

"Why is he out here?"

"Well, you know how in most of our stories, he is made human? Well, just think of this as a present from the Oracles. He's not human, but he can go out in sunlight and get down without becoming dust or turning all Angelus. All though, I think we need to ask him about those leather pants."

"I think I agree with you," Kiley nodded as she spoke.

"Uh huh," they all sighed as the lusty thoughts went through their head.

"You know what I like about this?" Ivy asked.

"It's your birthday?" Genevieve asked.

"Well, that and the fact that I didn't have to see Riley."

Suddenly, jumping into the road was Riley in a cowboy uniform. "Now that I'm not with the Initiative, I don't know what I am! I want to be a cowboy!" He starts to sing:

Cowboy...cowboy...
Well I'm packing up my game and I'm a head out west
Where real women come equipped with scripts and fake breasts
Find a nest in the hills chill like Flynt
Buy an old droptop find a spot to pimp
And I'm a Riley Finn up and down your block
With a bottle of scotch and watch lots of crotch
Buy yacht with a flag sayin' chillin' the most
Then rock that bitch up and down the coast
Give a toast to the sun, drink with the stars
Get thrown in the mix and tossed out of bars
Sip the teajuna ...I wanna roam
Find the old town chillin' fools then come back home
Start an escort service, for all the right reasons
And set up shop at the top of four seasons
Riley Finn and I'm the real McCoy

And I'm headin' out west sucker...because I wanna be a
Cowboy baby
With the top let back and the sunshine shining
Cowboy baby
West coast chillin? with the Boone's Wine
I wanna be a Cowboy baby
Ridin' at night 'cause I sleep all day
Cowboy baby
I can smell a pig from a mile away

I bet you'll hear my whistle blowin' when my train rolls in
It goes (whistle) like dust in the wind
Stoned pimp, stoned freak, stoned out of my mind
I once was lost, but now I'm just blind
Palm trees and weeds, scabbed knees and rice
Get a map to the stars, find Heidi Fleece,
And if the price is right I'm gonna make my bid boy

And let Cali-for-ny-aye know why they call me
Cowboy baby
With the top let back and the sunshine shining
Cowboy baby
West coast chillin? with the Boone's Wine
I wanna be a Cowboy baby
Ridin' at night 'cause I sleep all day
Cowboy baby
I can smell a pig from a mile away

Yeah...Riley Finn...you can call me Tex
Rollin' sunset woman with a bottle of Becks
Seen a slimmy in a 'vette, rolled down my glass
And said, "Yeah this dick fits right in your ass"
No kiddin', gun slingin', spurs hittin' the floor
Call me Hoss, I'm the Boss, with the sauce in the horse
No remorse for the sherrif, in his eye I ain't right
I'm gonna paint his town red, and paint his wife white HUH
Cause chaos, rock like Amadeus
Find West Coast pussy for my Detroit players
Mack like mayors, ball like Lakers
They told us to leave, but bet they can't make us
Why they wanna pick on me...lock me up and snort away my key
I ain't no G, I'm just a regular failure
I ain't straight outta compton I'm straight out the trailer
Cuss like a sailor...drink like a Mc (mick...as in Irishman)
My only words of wisdom are just, "Radio Edit." (Suck My Dick)
I'm flickin' my Bic up and down that coast and
Keep on truckin' until it falls into motion

Cowboy
With the top let back and the sunshine shining
Cowboy
Spendin' all my time at Hollywood and Vine
Cowboy
Ridin' at night 'cause I sleep all day
Cowboy
I can smell a pig from a mile away
Cowboy
With the top let back and the sunshine shining
Cowboy
With the top let back and the sunshine shining
Cowboy
Hollywood and Vine

By this time, all of the Shippers were on the ground laughing hysterically clutching their sides.

"Riley! What are you doing here?" Buffy asked.

"I came to LA cause I wanna be a cowboy, baby! Cause I'm not Agent Finn anymore. I wanted to be cool."

"And you slept with this guy?" Angel asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Not anymore. Riley, I hate to tell you this, but I'm getting back with Angel."

"But, don't you wanna be a cowgirl, baby? You know, ride of into the sunset with me?"

"Uh, not really." Buffy disagreed.

"I do!" Someone shouted. They shippers turned their heads in the direction that the voice was coming from.

"Pamela?" Cass asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard someone say that Riley was in a cowboy outfit. I had to check it out." Pamela smiled at Riley and ran into his arms when he opened them. "Come on, Riley. I'll be your cowgirl." Pamela told him mischieouvly. Together, they rode of into the sunset. It was kinda cute.

The Shippers turned their attention back to Angel and Buffy who were lip locked. "Uh guys, I think our job is over. They're back together." Ivy smiled with happiness.

"Yeah," they all agreed, happy with what they did.

"So Ivy, there's some chocolate cake back at your house that I know is waiting to get eaten!" Maria exclaimed.

"Alright! Let's go!" Ivy said as the Shippers disappeared back to their home.

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