Part Ten

Angel~

I ran to the only place I knew she'd go. The cemetery. Upon arriving, my worst nightmare came true. There she lay on the ground; unconscious. I felt the cry rip through my throat before I heard it. I ran to my fallen goddess.

A pulse! She had to have a pulse! I felt, but nothing. Nothing under her skin. I felt no movement. No heartbeat.

Above me, I heard thunder crack and I felt the wet drops soak the shirt on my back. But I didn't care. She was dead. My darling, my lover, my soul, my life was dead.

I carried my beloved to the only place I knew. I took her to my home. Our home. The place where we were going to live our lives together. That's damned to Hell now.

I shifted her lifeless body in my arms so that I could get her safe. I didn't even bother to turn on the lights as I moved through our home. I took her into the bedroom and laid her down on our bed. She had to live. I had to bring her back!

I called Giles to tell him the news. He was trying to not cry, I could tell. He told me that he would be right over and we hung up.

For the first time since I saw her that night, I wept. I clutched her at her waist and I buried my face in her stomach. Things weren't supposed to go this way. We were supposed to get our time together. This was our time and it was taken away, again.

*~*

Angel~

It had to be around four in the morning when Giles arrived. He brought Willow with him, but not anyone else. It would just cause more chaos and grief to this ghastly scene.

We went into the bedroom where Buffy was. I heard Willow gasp and saw her fall into Giles' arms. It was a horrible sight. Her hair was covered in dirt, her face masked by blood and bruises. As horrible as it was, I couldn't look away. I wanted to keep watching her. Hoping for some sign of life. But alas, there was none.

Part Eleven

"They are losing hope. It's almost time. Let's begin!"

*~*

Buffy~

I couldn't get out. I was trapped. I knew why. They were losing hope. No! You can't! You have to keep fight! I tried to tell them, but they couldn't hear me. They can't lose hope. If they do, it's over. It's all over! I start sob, but I'm the only one that can hear me. I'm stuck in this trap, and I can't get out unless they keep hope.

*~*

Angel~

I heard it in my head.

"Don't lose hope.
Never lose hope.
Don't let them.
I don't want to die."

Buffy! She was alive! I knew it! I went over to her and started shaking her. "Come on, Buffy! You gotta wake up! You can't leave me! I need you!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around and saw the owner. It was Xander. "Buffy's gone, man. You gotta accept it. We all miss her, I know, but there's no way to bring her back."

I shoved him away, enraged. "No! You're wrong! You don't know! She's there and she needs our help! You can't kill her!" I feel on the bed over her in a fit of sobs.

"Me kill her? What the Hell are you talking about?!" He yelled at me.

"You're losing hope. You can't lose hope. You lose hope and she can't find her way back to us. She told me. Don't lose hope. Never lose hope."

"Angel, man, listen to me. You're emotions are getting the best of you. You're talking crazy. You gotta calm down." He tried to help me up, but I grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

I vamped out and spat at him, "You're wrong. You don't know what she's going through. I do. She's lost and she needs our help. Don't you ever tell me that I don't know what my soulmate is going through. You don't know! I do." I lowered him to the floor and let him go. Giles came in to see what the commotion was. I didn't even pay him mind as I went over to Buffy. I stroked her forehead and told her, "I'll never lose hope. You're coming back, and I'll do anything I can."

*~*

Buffy~

There it was. My Angel. He's got me! I can feel it! I feel him pulling me out! I'm coming home! I felt my eyes flutter open. I said the only thing I could, "Angel? Are you here? Help me." My voice sounded so pathetic.

He was there, in a second. My Angel was there. He brought me home.

"Oh god, Buffy. Don't ever leave me again. Never. Why did you go out there?"

"I had to. I had to prove."

"Prove what?"

"That I can do it by myself. That I can fight and not have to rely on you all the time. I wanted to know that I was capable of surviving on my own."

"Why?"

For the first time I saw him, I let myself go. "I wanted to be sure I could survive if you ever left me again. That nothing would happen to me if you left." I gave an unemotional laugh. "I guess we found out, did we? Without you I'm dead."

Angel~

I couldn't believe what she was telling me. That she thought without me she would die. It hit me. It was true, but I also knew that I would die without her. "You're right," I told her. I saw her about to get up and hit me, but I pushed her down and held her there so I could explain. "Buffy don't you see it?"

"See what?"

"That we need each other. That we were brought together for a reason. I would die without you, too. I know that now. We have to stay together for so many reasons. For the world, to fight, but mostly for ourselves. It's our turn to be selfish Buffy. It's time that we took what we wanted and stopped being so concerned what's best for everyone else. It's time to be us." She launched herself into my arms and I held her tight. No way was I going to let her go ever again. Everything was perfect. I thought. Suddenly, she went limp in my arms. She had blacked out again.

Part Eleven

Buffy~

I was alone again. I was in the dark. Suddenly before me appeared a bright light. But a golden hand stopped me as the light turned into a beautiful woman. "Who are you?" I heard myself ask.

"Fear not, my young Slayer. I am not here to hurt you."

"What do you want?" I asked skeptically.

"To give you a message," she said simply and then continued. Her voice had a mystical tone. Breezy and light. As she spoke, I found myself being hypnotized by it. "My young Slayer, beware, for you are in great trouble. You must stay strong. Keep hope. Find yourself and you can fight this."

"But I feel so lost, like nothing is there to guide me," I told her scared.

"There are, my young one, but you must find them. Trust everyone who you hold dear to help you find your way. Rely on them to make you strong."

"But I don't want to have to rely on someone. I was to be able to do it myself."

She gave a short laugh. "Young one, why do you change your mind?" I looked at her in confusment. She laughed again and answered her question for me. "When have you ever been alone in your duties? Have you not always had someone to help you?"

I nodded and she continued. "This is what makes you strong. This is shy you have survived. Because you knew you couldn't do it alone. You not only rely on yourself for strength in your battles, but also your friends. I know this upsets you, but listen to me, young one. No Slayer has survived as long as you. They all depended on themselves and not what strength friendship and love can give them. That was their doom. We knew when you were created that you would be the most powerful. The one to live the longest. The only one who could defeat the worst evil.

The minute you give up, on your friends will be the moment the world and all of its humanity will be destroyed by the evil ones. Everything you stand for will be lost. Do you understand me, little one?"

I nodded again. "Good," she answered. "Now return to your world and find yourself by telling the others. Clear everything and you will be free of this spell that binds you."

Before my eyes opened, I saw all of the past four years I have been the Slayer. I not only saw my moments, but everyone else's. And I finally understood my purpose in all this. I was helping them as they were helping me. I was their leader, as they were mine. I wanted to cry at some of the events I saw, but I knew they were shown for a reason. For me to clear it up.

I felt my eyes open and the Angel shaking me fiercely. "Angel. Angel. Angel! I'm awake!"

He hugged me tight to him and kissed my forehead. "Oh god, Buffy. What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I got a message, and I need to speak to everyone. Can you call them here? Call Xander, Willow, Giles, and my mom. I need to talk to all of them, including you."

*~*

Twenty minutes later, everyone was gathered in Buffy and Angel's living room. Xander sat on the couch with Willow. Joyce sat in the leather recliner with Giles sitting on the arm of the chair. And Buffy sat on Angel's lap in their lazy boy recliner.

Buffy began to talk. "First off, thank you everyone for coming. There are some things that must be discussed before we can fight what's doing this to me. To us. Where do I begin? How about Xander?" Xander looked up at Buffy with apprehension. He knew what she was going to say and what everyone would soon know.

"Xander, what did you tell me Willow said before I went to stop Angelus from opening Acathla?"

"I said, 'kick his ass.'" He told her meekly.

"Yeah, that's right. But what did Willow really tell you to tell me?"

"That uh, um, she was going to try the spell again." He whispered the last part, but everyone heard him. Sounds of shock were spread throughout the room.

"Yeah. Kick his ass and restoring his soul sounds completely different to me, so I'm guessing you didn't forget. Xander, why did you lie to me?" Her voice was softer now, assuring him she wasn't mad, but disappointed. That she was going to understand what he was about to tell her.

He cleared his throat and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "There are numerous reasons, and please let me tell you all of them before you say anything." Buffy nodded and he continued. "The first reason was because I knew you would hold back if you knew. And I knew that if you held back too much, then Angelus could get you and kill you. Your love for Angel is what kept you from killing Angelus. All of us know that.'

The second reason was because I hated Angel. I was furious that he got you in one sec when I tried so hard for so long. I was jealous that you loved him and not me. And I was jealous at the love you two have because I know I can never have that.

And I guess because I wanted to protect you. I love you, Buffy. Next to Willow, you're my best friend. And was a vampire and I knew he could never give you what you wanted.

At least, that's what I knew at that time. But now, seeing you two back together, knowing how much you've been through, I give you all of my blessing. I know it doesn't mean much to you, but I want you to know that I'm happy for you two."

He finished and Buffy got off of Angel's lap and went over to where he was pacing the room. She put her hand on his shoulder and pulled him into a fierce hug. She wiped a tear from her eye, and said, "No, it means a lot to us, Xander. You're one of my closest friends and we need you.

As for what you did, you're probably right. I would have held back knowing I could get Angel back. But you know I would never let anything happen to me. I would never let Angelus kill me.

You never had any right in who I loved. You don't chose love, it chooses you. You don't need to make my decisions for me, nobody does. But I know you're concerned and I'm glad you are. But don't ever lose faith in me Xander Harris. Got it? I'll never give you a reason to." Xander nodded and Buffy moved onto the next person.

"Willow."

Willow's head shot up in shock. She wondered what she had done. "Yeah?"

"When Angel was dying and I was out killing Faith, what did he say?"

"Well, he thought I was you and he said that he was wrong and that he's wasn't going to leave."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"He was delirious, Buffy. He didn't know what he was saying. I didn't think it mattered."

"It did matter! You should have told me! It could have changed everything. Maybe give me some kind of hope and assurance that he still loved me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think."

"I know, but if something happens, ever, that concerns me, don't you think I have a right to know? This is my life, Willow. It belongs to me, not everyone else."

"But don't you think it does? You're the Slayer, Buffy. Your life does belong to other people."

"Not my personal life. I know my duty causes me to have to live for other people. But those people don't live for me. It's my choice who I date, and my choice how I live. That was something that I decided a long time ago along with the fact that I didn't want to do this alone. I didn't want to be alone in my life. Willow, you don't have any right to make personal life altering decisions for me. If I need advice, you know I come to you. But I don't expect you to do stuff for me. I expect you to guide me in the right direction. Okay?"

Willow nodded and tears spilled down her cheeks. "Okay, I'm so sorry, Buffy." Buffy hugged her and assured her everything was okay now. Willow went and sat with Xander on the couch. Buffy turned to Giles. "Giles, I really have no issues with you. You have been like a father to me. For the past seven years, you've been my mentor.

When I first came here, I didn't want my duty. I thought by just ignoring it, everything would disappear. But you helped me see that I just couldn't stand on the sidelines and pretend I didn't know what was going on. You never gave up on me, and I thank you for that. You've always been there to guide me. Thank you for being my real father."

Giles gave Buffy a big hug, and said to her, "I've always cared for you like a daughter. I think that's the main reason why the counsel fired me. I think it was because they thought that our relationship was more of a threat than a blessing. They were wrong. By us being close and helping each other, we were able to achieve so much more than any other pair. I'm happy to have you as a Slayer. I've never regretted it. At first, I wondered why, but I never regretted it. I'm happy I didn't have to give you the handbook. It would have caused too many complications. Sticking by the handbook didn't make a good Slayer. Being yourself and getting things done the way you know how is what makes you good." Buffy gave him a smile and she turned to her mom.

"Mom, I know that I was never the daughter that you wanted. That I was always causing trouble. I know that you don't support my decisions that I make, but you have no say. I'm twenty-three now, mom. I've grown up and I'm not your little girl anymore. You have to stop making my decisions for me."

Joyce took a long deep breath and then started to speak. "I know, Buffy. I want you to stay young forever. I want you to be my little girl with dirt on her knees and with pigtails in her hair. You're my baby, Buffy, and I never expected this to be your life. I'm not mad at you, Buffy. I'm mad that you never got a chance to experience what real life was like. I wish you didn't have to worry about whether you would live to see the next day. It scares me to think you could die anytime and I know that it will be because you couldn't fight something when you've been fighting all your life. I hate the life you've been handed."

"Oh mom, I never knew. And I guess I was too busy to ask or see it. But my life is what it is, and I have to play the hand I've been dealt. I know there's a lot in my life that you don't approve of or like, but you can't change me mom. I am what I am. I'll always be the Slayer. And I'll always love Angel. Nothing is going to change that. I'm sorry that you don't approve, but I'm twenty-three now. I've grown up."

Buffy's mom, by now was bawling. Oh, Buffy, I'm so sorry! I thought by doing some of the things I did, it would help you, but it only pushed you away. I'm sorry." Buffy hugged her mother to her and kept telling her everything was okay.

3"Mom, it's ok. I'm not leaving you. I love you."

"I love you too, my darling daughter."

Buffy smiled and hugged her mother. She turned to the most important person in the room. Her Angel.

"Angel, I've loved you since I first met you. I couldn't stop. When I learned your true nature, I wanted to deny my love for you because of what I am. What you were. But I never stopped loving you. You never stopped, either, did you? You kept on loving me until you ate you away. I know what that's like. To love someone so much you'd give anything to be with them. When you left, it felt like you were giving up. Why give up when fighting is so much better? Tell me Angel."

"I thought that by leaving you, it would be best. I needed you to see that you didn't need me to live your life. That I was just a liability."

"You were wrong, you know."

"I didn't then, but I know that now. When I left, I thought I didn't deserve you. And I had to leave so we could find ourselves. We have. Buffy, I had to find my way. I had to know that you were what I needed. And you are. What about you?"

"I guess that could be the reason I left to New York. I didn't know who I was anymore. I was doing things I never imagined I would. I lost you. I lost that connection that we had. I tried to block out everything. I wanted to live in denial, believing that you never left. But something worse happened. I lost myself in the process. I became a sheep. Someone who was doing something because it was what was expected. That's why I left." Buffy told him, tears streaming down her face. "I've been unsure about so many things in my life, Angel. But one thing I've never had a doubt about or lost hope in is us. I know that we are meant to be together. No matter what happens."

Angel embraced Buffy and held her to his chest as she sobbed quietly. "Shh. Everything is going to be alright. Nothing is ever going to come between us again. I promise. Always. I love you."

"I love you, too. Forever. That's the whole point. Right?" Buffy looked into Angel's eyes. He smiled down on her, knowing what was coming next, and he finished the saying for her. "I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me. I'll always be here for you."

"Me too." Buffy promised as she leaned to Angel to kiss his lips. They met. Together, their lips melt, sealing their promises.

Chapter Thirteen

"No!" the demon, Justine, screamed into the night. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this!"

A light flashed throughout the room and the same spirit that was in Buffy's dream appears before the demon. "I believe you have failed, Justine. The slayer has found her way with her friends and love. You have lost, and now you must pay." The spirit lifted her finger and pointed it towards Justine. Justine burst into a puff of smoke and disappeared. "The Slayer has won. It is her time. Finally."

*~*

Buffy was perched on Angel's lap, enjoying his company and visa-versa when she fell asleep. "Young one, come with me." Buffy heard her call. There was a light and Buffy was standing in a field with Angel.

"Buffy?" Angel asked confused. "How did we get here?"

"I don't know, but I think she has something to do with it," Buffy said as she pointed at the spirit. "Who are you?" Buffy asked. "You never told me the last time."

"You weren't ready to know, my young Slayer. I am Destiny. I am Fate. I am Love. I am everything that has brought you two together. I am your protector. I am your guardian."

"Oh. So why show up now?" Angel asked her.

She gave a laugh, and replied, "Because it was time."

"Time for what?" Buffy was confused.

"Time to show you the truth." She waved her hand and before them flashed several images of the past. The first time they met, their first kiss, and so much more. "You were brought together to be together. I knew that when young Liam here was born, that he would be fated a vampire. I made it so. I also knew that he would be cursed with a soul. Because I wanted it. I also chose you, young one, to be his lover. His savior. His redemption. I knew that when you were born that only you and him was the match that could save the world from total destruction."

"Then why were we put through so much if you knew it was true?"

"Because I, just like you, have people, or higher spirits, to report to. I had to show them what you two had was real. When I found out that Justine was threatening to kill you through tearing you away from your friends and love, I knew it was the perfect time to show them that you two were perfect. So I made Angel half human and gave him the powers to communicate with you through dreams."

Buffy looked over at Angel. "You knew about this?"

"No," he answered truthfully. "I just started talking to you through your dreams one day. I didn't know how it happened, but I was thankful it did."

"Yes, we couldn't let him know the truth yet," Destiny told them. "It was too soon. But we knew that you needed to come back or everything would be lost. Do you understand me, young one?"

"I think I do, but I still wish we didn't have to go through this heartache."

"I know. I wept for you time and time again, but it has made you stronger. And know you can both see how much you truly need each other to survive."

"Thank you," Buffy told Destiny.

"There's just one more thing." Destiny said looking at Angel. "You, vampire, are now of the human race. Go, live your lives and have no more worries. For everything is right again in the world."

"Thank you," Angel told her as they were zapped out of the reality back to earth.

"Angel, do you know what she just said?"

"I'm human. We can be together. No worries."

"No worries." They embraced and Destiny looked down on them with a smile on her face. "They found their way." She whispered as she disappeared.

Angel~

My life was so dark,
MY life had no reason.
I watched everything go by,
With each passing season.

Buffy~

I had the best life,
But everything changed.
Before I knew what happened,
It was all rearranged.

Both~

But then I found you,
You knew what to say.
You helped me find myself,
I'm finding my way.

And then I loved you,
But there were things in our way.
But overcome them we will,
With each passing day.

Angel~

By doing what I thought was right,
I tore you apart.
I didn't mean to hurt you,
But I broke your heart.

Buffy~

I know that you did,
What you needed to do.
And baby, I've learned.
That all I need is you.

Both~

But then I found you,
You knew what to say.
You helped me find myself
I'm finding my way.

And then I loved you,
But there were things in our way.
But overcome them we will,
With each passing day.

All I want is you,
And try as I may.
I'll never forget,
I'm finding my way.

I've found you,
And all is done.
I've found my way,
This battle we've won.

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