Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the words to the fic. Kate, Riley, Buffy, Angel, and Co. belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, The WB, Fox, and whoever has a hand in this wonderful creation. I am making no money off of this, it is merely for my pleasure and owe therapy. Please, do not sue.
Rating: Can you watch the show? Well, you can definitely watch this! J PG-13
Distribution: Ask, and ye shall receive.
Dedication: To everyone on BA_Fluff, RKHU, SPORKS, and BuffyAngel4Ever, I love you guys! Here's some therapy!
Feedback: I plead for it!
Note: In this one, I relied on the rumors that Kate was a love interest, so she is here.
Spoilers: Anything up through season three is fair game.

It was a dark gloomy night in LA. Angel was driving his Cadillac down a fairly empty street. The events of the past month played in his mind. His leaving Sunnydale and leaving her. He couldn't say the name because every time he said it, he would break down. He couldn't let that happen. He kept telling himself that it was for the best, that it was what was good for her. She had to live a normal happy life. She had told him that she wanted her life to be with him, but her mother was right, she didn't know what she wanted. She was too young.

Angel pulled up to his new home. Though small, it was home. He opened the door to reveal a small living area, small kitchen, and a bedroom that was separated by a door. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a blood bag out of the fridge. As he drank, he remembered how she had risked her life to save him. How could she have been so stupid? He thought. I should have died. He had to get her out of his mind. He went into the bedroom and changed into a pair of sweatpants. As he was about to lie down, there came a knock on the door. He didn't know anyone who was up this late besides him and the undead, so he grabbed a stake and walk cautiously to the door.

"Who's there?" he called. When no one answered, he opened the door, only to find no one. He looked both ways down the hall, and when he saw no one, he shrugged his shoulders and closed the door so he could get back to bed.

~*~

She didn't understand why she couldn't talk to him. She had excepted that he left her, and she knew that they could not be together. Why can't we? A little voice in the back of her head said. I love him, but yet, I doubt he still loves me. He's probably moved on.

Just as she said those words, she saw a woman walk down the corridor to his loft. As the woman knocked on the door, Buffy perched herself on the stairs waiting to see what would happen.

She saw Angel open the door, and her breath caught. He was even more gorgeous then the last time she saw him. She saw Angel welcome the woman with open arms and her heart sank. He had moved on, and he no longer loved her. Of course, she did have Riley, but who was she kidding? He was just the rebound guy. She knew this from the moment she accepted his offer to go on a date, but she needed someone. She needed to believe that she was loved, and Riley helped her feel that. But it wasn't enough, she needed more.

Who the hell am I kidding? Riley's the best I'm ever going to get next to Angel. Angel doesn't love me anymore, and now that I see that, I have to move on. But yet, in the back of her mind there was still that hope that had brought her here.

~*~

Angel sensed the person about the knock on his door, so he was there as soon as he could to make sure the person did not run this time. When he opened it, he was surprised to see Kate. He welcomed her with open arms as he pulled her into the apartment. As he was closing the door, he could swear he felt the feeling he felt when she was near. Nah! He thought. I really have to get her out of my mind.

"Kate? What's wrong? Angel asked.

"I just had to see you. I missed you." She leaned up to kiss him and he returned it.

As they kissed, his mind started to drift back to her. How when they would kiss, nothing would exist but him and her and his lips on hers. What the Hell am I doing? I'm thinking about her while I'm kissing Kate! What's wrong with me? I thought I had gotten over her!

Angel pulled away, and was look on by Kate with a confused look. "Angel? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he lied.

"Oh, okay," she said oblivious as always. He was glad she didn't notice because he didn't want to talk about it tonight. All he wanted to do was go to sleep and forget about everything.

"Kate, it's late, and I really need to get to bed. The sun will be up soon."

"Okay, then I'll see you tomorrow," she said as she walked out the door and down the corridor. Again, Angel felt that weird feeling. Shaking it off as nerves, he returned to his bed and let the exhaustion of the day overtake him.

~*~

That night as Buffy walked back to Cordelia's, she wondered how she was going to tell him. I wonder how he'll react. He'll probably freak. Why wouldn't he? It's just weird to think. the door to Cordelia's apartment opening interrupted her thoughts.

"Hi Buffy," Cordelia said, "Did you tell him?"

"I couldn't! I knocked on the door, but then when I heard him coming, I just couldn't face him. What will he say?"

"Oh Buffy, you know he still loves you. He, just like you, denies it. He tries not to talk about you, but I see the pain in his eyes when I mention your name."

"Does he really? When I walking away, I saw a woman walk into his apartment. And he was hugging her! He's moved on, and he doesn't love me anymore!"

"Don't be stupid, Buffy. That was just Kate. He doesn't love her. He's using her just like you are with Riley.

"But I like Riley."

"You don't love him, though. Do you?" Cordelia arched a questioning eyebrow. When Buffy didn't answer her, but looked down, Cordelia continued, "That's what I thought. Talk to him, it may change things."

"No it won't, but I can try. Hell, not like my heart can break anymore. Will you call him and tell him that you need to talk to him? I don't him to know that I'm here. If he knows, he may not come."

"Of course I will. Now, get some sleep. You have a big day ahead of you. Plus, we don't want you to look like you've been dead for a hundred years. We'll have to use some heavy make-up to cover those circles over your eyes."

Sighing sadly, Buffy went into the living room and plopped down onto the sofa bed Cordelia had made her. She let exhaustion take over. That night, she had a dream. The dream that she would have every night since Angel left. She dreamt, not knowing that Angel was having the same dream.

~~~Buffy was at the Bronze with Willow and Xander. She was standing by their table when a pair of familiar arms wrapped around her waist. She leaned back onto Angel's strong chest. Just she and him exist. No one but them.

Angel turned Buffy around so that she was facing him. He leaned down so his mouth was next to her ear. He whispered so that only she could hear him. "Dance with me?"

"Always."

Angel led Buffy out to the dance floor. Bryan Adams's "When You Love Someone" starts to play.

They dance gracefully until the song ends. As they pull apart, a distressed look crosses Angel's face.

"Angel?" Buffy asks as he doubles over in pain. He gets back up. "Are you okay?"

"Hello, Lover," Angelus says.~~~

Buffy and Angel woke up in a panicked sweat. Darting their eyes around, they noticed that it was a dream. Falling pack to their pillows, they let their reflexes relax. But neither of them got a wink of sleep for the rest of the night.

~*~

Angel didn't know why Cordelia had asked him to come to Tropical Sun, the local club in LA, but he knew she said it was important. He saw Cordelia walk into the club. She had someone behind her. She was talking to her, and by the looks of it, Cordelia was trying to encourage her.

Then as Cordelia got close to the table, he saw who the other person was. Buffy. She looks even more beautiful than the last time I saw her. But what is she doing here?

Angel stood up and held Buffy's chair out for her. Always the gentleman. Buffy sat down, and after making sure she was comfortable, Angel sat down across from her. Time went by, and nothing was said. Angel had just left not say goodbye after graduation, and there was much to say, but neither one of the m could find the words.

"How've you been?" Angel asked, breaking the silence.

"Good, you?"

"Okay, I get by," so much for starting the conversation.

"Would you like to dance?" Buffy asked, knowing she was taking a change of getting shot down. When he nodded and led her to the dance floor, she was a little more surprised. However, her surprise disappeared the moment Angel wrapped his strong arms around her. They slowly started to sway to the music. As the words began, Buffy slowly started to sing to Angel.

Everything you are
Everything you'll be
Touches the current of love
So deep in me
Every sigh in the night
Every tear that you cry
Seduces me

Angel could feel Buffy's hot breath on his neck, and he shivered despite himself. She was seducing him into taking him back, and he knew that he would give in. He just held her as she seductively rubbed against him and sang.

And all that I am
And all that I'll be
Means nothing at all
If you can't be with me
Your most innocent kiss
Your most sweetest caress
Seduces me

The reality of the words hit Buffy. She knew what she was doing to Angel, and she knew that he would go along with it. Everything that he did made her want him. She wanted him to take her home, and she wasn't talking about Sunnydale. She wanted him, and she wasn't about to let him leave her again.

I don't care about tomorrow
I've given up on yesterday
Here and now is all that matters
Right here with you is where I'll stay

He wasn't going to leave. Not now, not when everything was so right. It was so right, but so wrong. In the back of his head, he heard someone telling him that he had Kate. He never had Kate; he would always have Buffy no matter what. He erased the possibility of her taking him back, but for tonight, he as just going to enjoy every moment with her.

Everything in this world
Every voice in the night
Every little thing of beauty
Comes shining thru in your eyes
And all that is you becomes a part of me too
'Cause everything you do seduces me

Buffy had made up her mind. She was going home with Angel tonight, and he was coming back to Sunnydale with her, or she was staying here wit him. Never again would she lose him. Not now, not ever.

And if I should die tomorrow
I'd go down with a smile on my face
I thank God I've ever known you
I fall down on my knees
For all the love we've made

So they only made love once, not including all of their dreams. But that one time was enough for Angel to die a happy man. It was true, if he should die tomorrow, he would be smiling because he got his one night with Buffy. Many times, he thought about taking her and then having her kill him. But that was too much to ask Buffy, it wasn't right. Plus, it was selfish of him. Suffering is not being allowed to make love to the woman you love and then killing yourself to end your pain. Suffering is living it day by day, which is why he never killed himself because he didn't deserve it.

Every sigh in the night
Every tear that cry
Seduces me Seduces me
And all that you do. Seduces me

As the song ended, Buffy whispered into Angel's ear, "Take me home?" Angel could do nothing but nod. She had him in her trap, and he wasn't about to try to escape. "Where are you staying?" he managed to get out.

"Cordelia's, but I don't want to go there, I want to go with you."

"Buffy, I don't think-"

"Angel, please, just tonight. I'm not asking to do anything, but I just need you. We need to talk in the morning about why I'm here, and I-." Buffy lost it. Every emotion she had been holding back since she left broke through. All of the pain and anguish of Angel's departure became too much. Angel took no time to sweep her into his arms. He held her tightly to her chest as she cried. They were in the middle of the sidewalk, and many people looked on to see what could possibly be wrong with the girl, but Angel paid them no mind. All of his thoughts were concentrated on the blonde in his arms. He carefully carried her back to his apartment.

He opened the door to his place, carried Buffy inside, and shut the door with his foot. Silently, he carried her to his room. It seemed, apparently, she had fallen asleep on the way over. He pulled back the covers to the bed, and laid her down. He carefully took off her socks and shoes and tucked her in. He started to walk out to the couch to sleep, but was drawn back when he heard Buffy whisper his name. She was deep in sleep, but was calling out for him. He got into the bed without waking the Slayer. Instantly, she curled up to him with a happy sigh. He smiled a little, too, and drifted off to sleep, dreams filled with images of him and Buffy happy together.

~*~

God, I hate Mondays, Kate thought as she knocked on Angel's door. When the door opened and she saw Buffy in one of Angel's shirts, she was a more than a little surprised. Suspecting that Angel and Buffy had spent the night together romantically, it did not occur to her that Buffy had woken up, and taken a shower. She had put her clothes in the washer to have clean clothes for the day.

Buffy recognized this woman. Kate, she remembered. She was the girl she recognized from the day before when she had been watching Angel. Oh, this is gonna be tough, Buffy thought as she told Kate to come in. Buffy watched as Kate looked around for Angel. She heard the shower running and was a little relieved that they didn't shower together.

"Hi, I'm Buffy."

"Kate."

"Would you like to sit down?" Buffy motioned for Kate to sit, and she did so. They sat in an uncomfortable silence wait for Angel to finish his shower.

~*~

Angel felt relaxed after his warm shower. It also gave him time to think. He put a towel around his waist and stepped out of the shower. Suddenly, he was overcome with the feeling that someone else was there. He peeked out the door and saw the familiar form of Kate. Oh boy, what am I going to do? He got dressed, purposely going slow so he could think and plan what he would tell Kate about Buffy. He knew eventually it would end with him going to Buffy, and he didn't want Kate to be hurt too bad. Yeah right, Angel, there's no way to tell her nicely. You just have to do it. Taking a breath of courage, he walked into the living room.

~*~

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Angel enter the room. She had never felt more uncomfortable in her life. Angel smiled at her in reassurance that she would be the one that would stay when they were finished.

"Hi Kate," Angel said.

"Hi."

"I suppose you met Buffy?"

"Yes. Angel, what's going on?"

"Well, you know how I told you about Sunnydale? Well, I never told you why I left. I left Sunnydale in order to give Buffy a normal life. With me there, she couldn't get it."

"So why is she here now, and why did she stay here last night?"

"She's here now because she has to tell me something and we have some things that we need to sort out, and she stayed her last night because she asked me too, and I wanted her too."

"So, your ex comes to town, asks you to have sex with you, and you do? What about the whole soul problem? Shouldn't you be evil?"

"We didn't have sex Kate. When I said she slept here, that's exactly what she did."

"Well, you know what Angel? It seems that you two are still in love, and I'm just a replacement, so I'm going to go, and I don't ever want to hear from you again unless it's about work. Understand?"

Angel nodded, and Kate left. Angel looked over at Buffy. Buffy could see the pain and guilt in his eyes. "Oh, Angel, she'll get better. Give her time."

"It's not that. It's true."

"What is?"

"I still can't be with you."

"Why not?" the anger started to rise in Buffy.

"Because nothing's changed. I still can't give you a normal life. I can't give you kids, sunlight, and I can't make love to you. You need that Buffy. You deserve that, not me."

"You know what? I just don't get why everyone has his or her own ideas of what I deserve. Aren't I old enough to make my own decisions? I thought I was my own self, and I belong to me! I don't get why everyone gets to make decisions for me but me! Explain this to me Angel because I'm confused. I don't know when my life became everyone else's."

"Buffy, I'm not making decisions for you. I'm trying to make you see that you and I, no matter how much we love each other, shouldn't be together. You should have killed me the minute you found out who I was. Why didn't you?"

"Why didn't I kill you? It's easy, but it's so complicated. I love you, Angel, I always have. I never stopped. Even when you were Angelus, I loved you."

"But why? Why do you love me?"

"I love you because you keep me sane. You're the one that's kept me living all of these years. I remember when I used to long for you to drop off one of your cryptic messages, just so I could see you. So you're a vampire. I don't care. I love you; I love your soul. I love all of you. Being a vampire doesn't make a person bad, Angel. It's what you do that makes you who you are. You've proven so many times that you are not like every other vampire. You have feelings, a conscious, and a soul. Don't you see that?"

"I can't, Buffy. I've caused so many people pain. I killed my family, I made people insane, and I hurt the one woman I love. That's what makes me a monster, Buffy. I hurt you, and I can't live with doing that. That's why I left, so I could stop the pain."

"Well, news flash, Angel. By you leaving, the pain grew. In fact, it wasn't even there when you were in Sunnydale because we were together. I don't care about sex. I can live without it, but I can't live without you." A tear started to roll down Buffy's cheek at her confession. "And as for everything Angelus did, it wasn't you. I'll argue with you about that until I'm blue in the face, but I'll never agree with you that Angelus and Angel are the same. So you share the same body, no big deal. Do you share the same intentions or thoughts?"

"No, but it doesn't matter. Everyone who Angelus has killed, regardless if we are two different people, it was done by these hands." He held up his hands for emphasis. "Everyone that has been bit, has been bit by these fangs, and everyone that has been verbally harassed, has been harassed by this mouth." The tears started to fall from Angel at this point.

Buffy took a step closer to Angel, so that they were only two inches apart. She enclosed his hand in-between hers and brought them to her mouth. She placed a delicate kiss on each finger, kissing her way to his palms. She gave his palm a long sensual lick. "These hands? They have done so much more good than bad. You atone for Angelus' sins with these hands. They could not be more pure." She looked him in the eyes, and brought her mouth to his. Against his lips, she whispered, "these lips, these lips are the most sweetest thing I've ever tasted. If the wrong has made these lips taste so good, then do more because these lips I love." And she kissed him. She ran her tongue across his lips and urged him to open his mouth to her. HE did so, and she slid her tongue into his mouth.

Angel could feel himself start to transform. He started to pull away from Buffy, but she gripped him to her using her Slayer strength to her advantage. Buffy ran her tongue across his fangs, and pushed it on the point. She felt his fang prick her tongue and tasted her blood as it flowed into his mouth.

Angel was scared. He tasted her blood in his mouth. She couldn't have meant it. She kept kissing him. She did! Buffy was willing giving him her blood. He didn't need it, but she was giving it to him like it was something that they did everyday. The kissed ended and it left them both breathless. Catching her breath, Buffy spoke, "Those fangs. I love them, too. They are a part of who you are Angel. The fact that you need blood to survive doesn't disgust me, why do you think I gave my blood to you before the Ascension? True I killed Faith, but you and I both know that I wanted you to drink from me, not her. I wanted to share it with you Angel. I wanted to feel what you feel when you drink. It was the most pleasurable thing I've ever done, besides making love to you."

Angel couldn't believe it. He stood there stunned. In all of his years, he never imagined that he would find someone that would give him everything. He always thought that the blood disgusted Buffy, but he now found out that it was a turn on for her. She enjoyed it. He loved this woman more then anything, and he'd be damned if he ever let her go again. From this point on, he didn't care about the curse. Buffy had told him that it didn't matter. He knew she wanted to be with him. Angel had left so that she could be happy. She was happy with him, and since he wanted happiness for her, he was going to give it to her. He cursed himself for being so fool-headed.

Buffy saw the look in Angel's eyes. She had convinced him. They were going to be together. She smiled at him as their lips met in reconciliation. Together forever, that's what they would be.

*~*

Riley hoped off the bus. LA, didn't look that special to him. Buffy had told him that she was going away for a couple days because she had some business to take care of. It had been a week, and Riley had started to worry. So instead of calling the number she had left him, he decided to go to LA himself to make sure Buffy was okay. He picked up his bag and found a telephone booth. He punched in the number on the slip of paper Buffy had given him. The phone rang and rang and no one answered. "Great," he muttered to himself. He picked up his bag again, and started walking down the street, looking for a place to stay.

Riley checked into Motel 6, and got directions to the nearest dance club, in hopes to find Buffy, knowing how much she liked dancing. As he entered Tropical Sun, the melody of sweet music filled his ears. He searched the crowd, until his eyes settled on a pair dancing closely on the dance floor.

*~*

Buffy clutched to Angel as she let the sound of the music and the smell of Angel encase her, promising to never let her go. She let out a happy sigh, and placed her head on Angel's chest and closed her eyes, listening to the words of the music.

Walking in the sun, it doesn't matter to me,
It's with the darkness I'd rather be.
Never would I have thought that it would be you,
Who would change my life to be new.

I'll love you until death do us part,
And even in death, you'll always have my heart.
My soul is yours and your soul I hold onto.
Cause I found the perfect person, oh baby it's you.

Buffy was brought out of her sweet thoughts of angel and her together when someone cleared their throat and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hi, Riley," she said sheepishly.

*~*

Riley felt his heart break. There was Buffy dancing and holding onto another man. It was obvious to anyone who could see that they were madly in love. So this was her business, he thought to himself.

He walked over to where the two were clutching desperately to each other as if they knew someone was about to separate them. He tapped Buffy on the shoulder and she turned to look at their intruder. Her eyes met Riley's and he greeted him with an embarrassed "Hi."

*~*

"Riley, what are you doing here?" Buffy asked nervously.

"You didn't come home when you were supposed to, and know I see why. Is this your important business that you needed to take care of?"

"Let's go for a walk," she told him. She told Angel she'd be right back, a promise in her eyes, and she went outside with Riley.

Once they were outside, Riley turned to her. "Alright, Buffy. What's going on? Who was that?"

"That was Angel."

"Angel." Riley knew him. Willow had told him that Angel and Buffy had been very close. Just seeing them in the club, he finally knew how close they were. "I thought he left you."

"He did."

"So what, you see him and all of a sudden you just take him back?"

"It's not like that."

"Oh, then how is it Buffy? Why don't you tell me."

"I love him, and he loves me. I know that he's hurt me, but he was only doing what he thought was right for me. I came to see him to tell him something, and I only thought I'd come here, tell him, and then leave."

"And then you saw him, and decided that you could live without him, right?"

"Yeah. I know it sounds like something that comes out of a movie, but it's the truth. I never meant to hurt you Riley. I do like you, but I love Angel."

"I understand, but I could have given you so much. I wanted to make you happy."

"I did, too, but I was fooling myself. Life without Angel for me is dead. I can't live without him. I'm sorry, Riley."

"I am, too. Goodbye, Buffy." And he walked away. Buffy knew that he wasn't just saying goodbye. She knew that she would never see him again. She felt guilty for breaking his heart, but she knew it would happen one day.

*~*

Angel saw Buffy walk back into the club. He could tell by the way she was walking that she had ended it with Riley. He felt happiness course through him, knowing that she was truly his. She walked right into his arms, and he held onto her with all of his strength, not wanting to let go.

"Angel?" Buffy asked with nervousness.

"What is it baby?"

"I need to tell you something. You- your-"

"It's okay, Buffy. You can tell me. NO matter how bad it is."

"It's not bad. I'm just so happy we're together."

"Me too. Me too."

"Let's go home?" Buffy asked Angel.

"Alright, baby, let's go." They walked out of the club hand in hand. Buffy and Angel forever, has a nice ring to it.

Two souls, one destined to be a Slayer, the other fated to be a vampire. Together, they defied all the laws of love and showed that no matter what happens, if you truly believe in the love you have, anything is possible. They were put to the test many times, and each time, they proved that their love would always go strong.

Send feedback to Cass

Back to the Fanfiction Archive