How Can I Not Love You

by Colonel Furry Palms


Rating: G.
Disclaimer: Buffy and Angel are the creation of Joss Whedon and belong to him, 20th Century Fox, Mutant Enemy, WB, Kuzui, Sandollar and anyone else who has rights to BtVS. The Song "How Can I Not Love You" is from the film "Anna and the King". Lyrics by: George Fenton, Kenneth Edmonds & Robert Kraft. Sung by: Joy Enriquez. All trademarks and copyrights are acknowledged. This is an original copyrighted work of fan fiction. No copyright infringement intended, inferred or implied.
Feedback: Yes Please.
Couples: B/A.
Spoilers: No.
Dedication: Bree - we'll it was your challenge.
Distribution: Certainly ... just ask first.
Author's Note: The challenge is supposed to be S3 or S4, we'll I ain't seen them. I'm in the UK and they haven't even aired "Surprise" yet. So I'm pretty much winging this. Hence the only words spoken by B+A are the song lyrics.

----Challenge Requirements----

1.) MUST be a B/A story only. NO Angelus, Riley, no Spike, no Xander, no Kate, just B/A.
2.) Can be angsty, happy, full of smut, or only sweet and romantic. But NO pwp. I want a love story here, not just a screw in the broom closet. 3.) MUST include the words from "How can I not love you," which I'll include at the end.
4.) MUST take place in either Season 3 or Season 4 BtVS/Season 1 ANGEL. You'll understand when you see the words of the song.
5.) NO character deaths. I can take all the angst in the world, but I don't want either one to die.
6.) NO kids. Just totally B/A stuff.

Buffy and Angel looked at each other. They knew what was happening. What had happened each and everytime they came close to each other. The overwhelmingly desire to ...

Angel turns away, knowing he cannot stand facing his love with what he knows must be said. He tries to stay resolute, reminding himself ... "Cannot touch. Cannot hold. Cannot be together. Cannot love. Cannot kiss. Cannot have each other", even though every sinew is screaming to do just that. He prepares himself to speak as he continues to run the words through his head trying to build up the strength to tell her that they must part. That this cannot be. "Must be strong, and ..."

"We must let go" he blurts out. He tries to continue in some semblance of coherent speech. "Cannot say", he pauses looking lost but he drives himself on, "what our hearts must know".

Buffy looks up at his face, her eyes filling ... her heart breaking. "How can I not love you?" she asks, as she looks into the deep dark pools of his eyes.

She stands, definitely wanting the question answered. Asking more. "What do I tell my heart?" She paces as the anger begins to form and manifest itself. "When do I not want you here in my arms?". Now with the rage building she wants him to speak. "How does one waltz away from all the memories? How do I not miss you when you are gone?"

Angel knows what the answer is. Knows because his heart is asking the same questions a million times a second. His heart wants the answers too, but his head is still trying to stay in charge. He cannot let himself waiver now. But his head is loosing the battle with his heart, with the all devouring love. His heart announces to his body what his life will be like without her, "Cannot dream. Cannot share sweet and tender moments. Cannot feel." He sighs, his body aching as it recalls the touch of her warm flesh upon his, "How we .... feel".

His head kicks in again, "Must pretend it's over", it tells him. He stares at his true love ... his only love.

"Must be brave and ...", he announces but before he can finish Buffy speaks up ...

"We must go on", she says.

Angel tries again, "Must not say what we've known all along". He walks over her as he asks her the same questions, "How can I not love you? What do I tell my heart?". He takes hold of her, holding her close as he wraps his arms around her. Gently he continues, "When do I not want you here in my arms?"

As he says this, the tears trickle down Buffy's flushed face. Choking them back she asks once more .... "How does one waltz away from all the memories? How do I not miss you when you are gone?"

Calling on all the strength that the vampire can muster he forces himself to answer her. He stems the tide of emotion which is attempting to wash over him and as calmly as possible he replies, "Must be brave and we must be strong".

Buffy just closes her eyes and holds him as tightly as she can. Not wishing to let him go. If she doesn't let him go they will be here forever. Together forever. "Cannot say what ..." she mumbles.

Feeling her breath on his chest. Her tears soaking through his shirt. Her heart beating against him. He delicately places a kiss on the top of her head and keeps the embrace. And as he senses that the inevitable has finally been accepted by his Slayer, and even more incredibly by himself, he finally utters "We've known all along".

The End

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