Part Seven

"And so there are baby birds everywhere," Xander was saying, arms gesturing wildly, "and I grab a broom, you know? And mind you, this whole time I'm wearing nothing but a bath towel!"

Willow and Tara laughed at the image Xander presented them with. "Oh god, Xander!" Willow said through her laughter.

Xander nodded, laughing as well. "Uh huh! And so there I am, broom over my head, about to lose the towel. And that is when Anya comes in."

That sent them laughing even harder. Buffy was joining in wholeheartedly, tears of mirth running down her face. A particularly hard laugh came all the way from her stomach only to be cut off with a wince. The sudden jolt of pain almost made her choke on her laughter.

"Buffy!" Willow said, her own laughter cut off abruptly. "Are you okay?"

Buffy scooted in her bed to get comfortable again. It didn't work. The pain was constant, and growing as the pain killers wore off. "I'm okay," she said reassuringly. "You were saying? So what happened?" she directed at Xander.

Willow turned her attention back to him as well. "This isn't going to turn dirty, is it? 'Cause we know Anya."

Xander just grinned. "Nah. Though there was a second…. Well, it turns out Anya is absolutely terrified of baby birds. So she ended up standing on the kitchen counter while I ran around with the broom, trying to herd birds out the window."

They all chuckled. "That must have been an image," Buffy said, shifting in her bad once again. "Wish I could have seen it."

Xander laughed lightly. "I'm glad you didn't, thank you very much."

Willow grinned in agreement. "Yeah. What would Angel say?"

"What would I say about what?"

Buffy grinned for sure. "Hey!"

Angel smiled back, then at the rest of the group in the bedroom. "I bring sandwiches," he said, raising the tray he was carrying slightly.

Buffy couldn't help but look at him a bit oddly.

"Your mom was making them when I got here," he explained at her look, putting the tray on the dresser. "I just carried them."

"Thank you," Buffy said easily, taking the sandwich he offered her.

Angel sat down on the floor next to the bed, taking a sandwich of his own. "So, what would I say about what?"

"Huh?" Buffy didn't understand.

"I heard my name before I came in," Angel clarified.

"Oh," Buffy said, and felt herself blushing.

"We were talking about Xander in a towel," Willow clarified, grinning from ear to ear.

Angel nearly choked on the bite he was taking.

"Willow!" both Xander and Buffy cried in embarrassment. Buffy looked at Angel, who was coughing. "Are you okay?"

Angel stopped sputtering and looked amused. "That was the last thing I expected to hear."

Buffy couldn't help but chuckle at the look on his face. The small laugh sent pain straight to her stomach.

"Okay, I think it's time to call this visit short," Willow said abruptly.

"No, Willow, you don't have to go!" Buffy protested, sitting up further. That aggravated the wound again and she fought not to wince.

Willow frowned. "Uh uh. You're in pain. We'll visit you tomorrow."

Buffy frowned, but part of her was relieved. She wanted to be cheerful for her friends, but she was in pain. She just had one objection to make. "You just got here," she said to Angel sternly. "You stay."

Angel chuckled. "Yes, ma'am."

Soon after, Willow, Xander, and Tara had bid their farewells, leaving Angel and Buffy to their own devices.

"Sit up here," Buffy demanded, gesturing at space on the bed next to herself.

Angel hesitated a moment before sitting very carefully to cause a minimum of discomfort.

Buffy grinned at him. "So, where have you been all day?"

"Giles wanted to see me," he replied. "He wanted to talk about the Phoenix prophecies he found."

Buffy chuckled. "He wanted to pick your brain and say 'hmm' a lot."

"Yeah, that about sums it up." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner."

"You can't be here all the time," she pointed out to him smoothly.

"Doesn't mean I don't want to," Angel explained. "I don't like seeing you…."

"So helpless?" Buffy supplied.

"I was going to say 'in pain.'"

Buffy frowned. "Yeah, well, I don't like it either. I hate being confined. I feel antsy. I should be out there, protecting people. Right now I can't even protect myself."

"Let me do the protecting right now, okay?" Angel replied.

Buffy pouted. "If I have to." She tried to cross her arms over her chest to make a good show of it, but that was a bit hard with the cast around her wrist. It was a lesser pain, but it hurt, too.

"Your mom sent up your pain killers with the sandwiches," Angel said, reaching for the bottle of pills on the nightstand.

"They put me to sleep," she complained.

"Then sleep," Angel said. "Let your body heal."

"But you just got here!"

Angel handed her the pills and a glass of water. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"You promise?"

He kissed her gently on the forehead. "I promise."

*****

Buffy was sound asleep when Angel left her room several minutes later. He was very careful not to disturb her as he got up from the bed, but she didn't even stir. She looked so young and innocent at the moment that he had to smile slightly. Moving as quietly as two hundred and fifty years as a vampire would allow, he left the room and left her to sleep.

Backing into the hall, closing the door behind him, he ran directly into Mrs. Summers.

"Oh!" Buffy's mom said in surprise.

Angel smiled, a bit embarrassed. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Why are you whispering?"

Angel gestured towards the door. "She's asleep."

Joyce let out a sigh of relief. "Oh good. She needs it."

There was a hint of concern in her voice that Angel caught and he looked at her worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

Joyce hesitated for a second. "We'll talk downstairs, okay?" she suggested.

Angel nodded and followed Buffy's mother down the stairs. He spared a thought to realize that he hadn't actually spent much time in this house as even a tolerated guest. Far more often he'd snuck in Buffy's window without Mrs. Summers even knowing he was there.

Sunlight flooded the downstairs, and Angel grinned. And under cover of darkness, yet.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Mrs. Summers said easily, leading him to the kitchen.

Angel smiled slightly. "I'm not used to being…welcome," he explained.

Joyce smiled slightly. "It's good for Buffy that you're here," she said. "She was…well, a mess is an understatement…after you, um, died." She seemed reluctant to say that much and there were obviously other things on her mind. "She looks forward to seeing you every week. And look – sunlight."

She smiled to soften the implication – Angel not being a vampire making all the difference – and Angel caught himself chuckling softly. Not being a vampire did make an amazing difference.

"The point is," Joyce said at last, "that it's good for Buffy that you're here. It's…good you're here." She looked a bit flustered at her own admission. "Um…would you like something to eat or drink?"

"No, uh, thank you," Angel replied, just as surprised by what Buffy's mother had just said as she apparently was. "There was something you wanted to talk to me about? I mean, aside from…?"

"I'm worried about Buffy," she said abruptly.

Angel wasn't really expecting her to say that. Not that the fact that she was worried surprised him. "We all are," he said calmly. "But she'll be okay."

He expected her to smile and say something along the lines of 'being an overprotective mother.' Instead she lowered herself into a chair with a heavy sigh.

"What is it?" Angel asked, feeling his stomach tense in nervousness.

Still Joyce hesitated. "I haven't told anyone else about this," she explained.

Angel swallowed hard and was sure he paled. Demons didn't scare him nearly as much as those words had.

Joyce went on regardless. "When Buffy was in the hospital, one of the doctors spoke to me. He was amazed at how fast she was healing. I could hardly tell him it was because she's the Slayer, but for once I was glad she was. Because of how fast she was healing, they agreed to release her from the hospital early, and you know how Buffy hates hospitals."

Angel nodded. "So what's wrong?"

"If she can heal faster than a normal person, than why isn't she better by now?" she asked helplessly. "I mean, she should be better by now, right?"

Angel thought about it for a second. "She was quite seriously injured," he said calmly. "And there's no time table on Slayer healing."

Still Joyce did not look any happier. "Shouldn't she have made some improvement, then?"

"Wait," Angel said abruptly. "She's not healing?"

"She's healing very slowly," Joyce clarified. "I'm afraid she may have to go back to the hospital, and I don't want to do that to her."

"I would have thought she'd do better at home," Angel said, worry gnawing at his gut.

"She's happier," Joyce said. "I want her to be better, though."

Angel nodded eagerly. "So does she."

Joyce sat back in her chair with a sigh. "I just hope she heals soon."

Angel said nothing for a moment. Buffy should have been healing. The fact that she had been and wasn't now was certainly puzzling and a cause for worry. He hadn't the faintest clue what was going on.

He swallowed his concerns and tried to put on a passive face for Mrs. Summers. "I'm going to check on her," he said, and left without another word.

He didn't want Joyce to know how truly worried he was. She had enough concerns without him confirming them. But if she was telling the truth…she was right; Buffy should be healed already. Or at least nearly so. There was no reason her healing should have been slowing down.

Or at least no reason Angel knew of.

He had to check on Buffy and then talk to Giles. Still, he had no desire to wake her, so he entered just as quietly as he had left. He opened the door slowly and froze at the sight that greeted him.

The bed was empty, and the windows open. Buffy was gone.

*****

Part Eight

The entire 'Scooby Gang' was out in force, scouring the town of Sunnydale for any sign of the injured Slayer. The first reaction upon seeing her room had been to assume that she was taken away by force. Still, even injured, there should have been signs of a struggle. There was none – only the open window and empty bed. Angel had been in too much of a panic to have any clue what was going on. Joyce had been even worse, but between the two of them they'd managed to call in Buffy's friends.

It was Willow who had somehow managed to calm down enough to notice that a couple of Buffy's favorite weapons were missing.

So they'd spread out through the town, searching. They'd been continually shocked, both by the fact that she'd gone out on her own and then that she wasn't right near by. It was a testament to her strength that she'd gotten so far as injured as she was. And at night yet, with demons and vampires likely out in force.

Separated from the group, searching on his own, Angel's thoughts were a confusion of worry and guilt. 'I knew she was...feeling caged,' he thought. 'I should have stayed with her.' He was terrified that she'd be found by one of the neighborhood vampires or something worse and that he'd never see her again. All of this, and he'd never told her how important she was to him, how much he needed her in his life as he tried to make sense of his new destiny. He was afraid he'd never get to tell her.

But fear and worry and guilt did not get him anywhere when it came to finding Buffy. He'd already wandered several of the cemeteries she was known to frequent, as well as the center of town, and there was no sign of her. It was as if she'd simply disappeared. His initial panic had faded with the knowledge that Buffy might have gone out on her own, but every step without finding her brought him closer to those original fears.

"I've been looking for you."

Angel froze at the familiar voice. Of all the times…. "Not now," he hissed, barely turning.

Jade was starkly obvious with her white hair in the darkness. "I said I would be returning," she said calmly.

Angel turned away from her, continuing his search. "Did you purposefully pick the worst possible moment to resurface?"

She fell in step beside him, despite his significantly longer stride, and Angel could see her flinch at his tone. She was never easy to dissuade, though. "Where are you going?" she asked a bit breathlessly.

"I don't know," Angel admitted, but did not slow in the slightest.

"Would it help if I gave you a destination?"

Angel halted and spun on her. "What do you know?" he nearly yelled.

Jade looked a bit startled at his tone, and not for the first time Angel found himself wondering about her actual age. "I know you have ignored your Calling again."

It took Angel a second to realize what she was referring to, to remember the argument that had recently sent him to Sunnydale in the first place. "I've had other things on my mind," he said flatly, going to walk again.

Jade slipped in front of him to stop him, a look of exasperation on her face. "You are the only embodiment of the Phoenix I have heard of," she said, "who has consistently ignored your duty."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Angel replied angrily. "I have done my duty to the Powers That Be for years now. I fight demons; I make amends! But right now, my duty is to Buffy, not to them."

Jade looked confused and a touch flustered by his tirade. "Where is the Guardian?" she asked more softly.

Angel had assumed that, with the precise timing of her arrival, Jade knew what was going on. It was slightly…humanizing to see her as fallible. It was also abruptly obvious that she was doing as he had repeatedly asked and not reading his mind. He forced himself to calm. "I don't know. She disappeared from her home. All of her friends are out looking for her."

"And you?"

"Of course," Angel retorted.

She looked at him contemplatively for a moment. "Where is your hellmouth?" she asked.

"What?" Angel couldn't see the logic to the question.

"Your hellmouth," she repeated. "The Guardian exists because of the Hellmouth. She may be drawn to it."

Angel did not so much as pause to decipher her statement. He knew Jade well enough at this point to know that she'd explain eventually, after the crisis was past. Without a word, he headed with quickened steps in the direction of the old high school. He was vaguely aware of Jade running right on his heels.

The old high school sat isolated on its grounds, a black, burned out skeleton against the nighttime sky. It was a forbidding structure, still marked off by fading police tape. Angel hurried onward, not taking in the sight. If there was any chance Buffy was here, he wanted to find her now. To make sure she was safe.

Even with Buffy in danger, Angel entered the structure with some degree of caution. This was the first time he'd been in the old high school since…well, since shortly before they'd blown it up. Its blackened walls did not look that stable, and the floor was cracked and rubble strewn. Behind him, Angel could hear Jade stumbling slightly in her thick heeled shoes.

Closer to the Hellmouth itself – beneath the old library – new sounds made themselves known to Angel. Impacts and occasional vocalizations – the sounds of violence – spurred Angel onward. He was nearly running towards the library now, towards that battle in progress. One part of him was sure that Buffy was not there – there was no way that she would be fighting now. The majority of him, though, was certain she was there, and would die at any moment if he did not arrive at her side. He moved still faster across the uneven ground.

Her injuries should have prevented her from defending herself.

What he found instead, as he ducked through the crumbling door frame to the old library and blast center, was a vibrant warrior. He froze. Buffy moved as if she'd never been injured, her battle steps flowing between one move and the next. The vampires she faced cowered in front of her. She was not a person, but a force.

Angel watched with a shade of awe. Were it not for the cast encasing her right wrist, he would have thought her…inhuman, in an unbeatable sort of way. Even that cast became a weapon, striking out like a club. As Angel watched, one of the vampires that had not yet succumbed to dust broke from the battle, rushing for the exit. Heedless of the danger ahead, his only though was obviously fleeing the empowered Slayer. Angel barely had to put any effort into staking the terrified vampire.

His attention returned to Buffy after barely a moment, but that momentary distraction was all she needed to get rid of one more of her opponents, leaving only one remaining vampire. He was large and obviously battle trained, but that was no problem for Buffy. Within moments, before Angel could possibly move to assist her, the last vampire was vanquished, sent plummeting into the gaping maw of the hellmouth and possibly even to hell itself.

It was over before Angel really had time to sort out what he was seeing.

Silence echoed in the blackened room. Buffy's back was to Angel as she stared at where the vampire had vanished. She was trembling slightly and breathing heavily.

"Buffy."

She spun to face Angel, and for a moment he was taken aback by her expression. There was a sense of barely suppressed violence about her. Then that was gone, leaving only confusion and disorientation in its place.

"Angel?" she gasped.

He could see the confusion turn to panic on her face, and see her trembling turn to all out shaking. He rushed to her side, wrapping his arms around her a moment before her legs gave out. He cushioned her fall, kneeling with her and pulling her into his lap. Her hands fluttered about her, fumbling with her shirt and the bandages underneath. Her trembling, unencumbered hand revealed flesh unscarred to both of their gazes.

Buffy let out an inexplicable sob and collapsed into Angel's chest. "He killed me," she said, barely comprehensible. "He did, and now I killed him. A life for a life."

Angel cradled her to him, feeling her tears wetting his shirt. He whispered sweet, comforting nothings, soothing sounds, as his gaze drifted over her head to the strange, white-haired woman standing in the doorway. Jade caught his gaze and simply nodded.

In his arms, Buffy's sobs and shaking continued in pure emotional release.

*****

Part Nine

"You're leaving now, aren't you?"

That was how Buffy greeted Angel the next day when he stopped by her home. It hurt her to say it, like a stone lodged in her stomach, and she could see the pain flash in Angel's eyes. He'd gotten worse at hiding his emotions since his rebirth as the Phoenix. His pain hurt Buffy even more than her own…but right now it was necessary.

"I have to," he said back softly. "Jade was right. My…duty is pulling at me."

Buffy swallowed. "I know," she replied. "Stay safe for me?"

Angel sat beside her on the couch. "Of course."

She sighed and restrained herself from reaching out to touch him. "I wish I could go with you," she whispered.

"Maybe someday…" Angel began to reply.

Buffy fought back a bitter chuckle. "I can't," she said miserably. "I can never leave home again."

Angel looked at her, both alarmed and bewildered. "Don't talk like that," he said.

"It's the truth," Buffy said with a sigh. "Jade and I had a long talk earlier this morning."

A dark look crossed Angel's face.

"I trust her now," Buffy tried to explain. "She'll keep you safe, since I can't." She tried and failed to keep the misery out of her voice.

"What are you talking about?" Angel asked calmly, taking her hand in his.

She looked at their joined hands for a moment. "It turns out you don't have to worry about the whole mortal-near-immortal thing," she said sadly. "Jade says this happens sometimes to Slayers in the 'right combination of events.' I'm the Guardian of the Hellmouth now. As long as the Hellmouth here exists, I'll exist."

Angel gaped at her for a second. "This…. You're not pleased?"

Buffy thought it odd that he asked that, he who'd always despised his own immortality. Perhaps he was still in the first stage she'd been in, stuck on the romantic idea of two immortals together. A romantic concept, yes, but impossible. "There's a catch," she said.

"Of course," Angel replied with a touch of sarcasm.

"I'm tied to the Hellmouth," she said. "Remember how I wasn't healing? Injured, even this little distance from here to the Hellmouth was harming me." She looked at him miserably. "So you see, I can never go with you."

Angel slipped his arm around her shoulders, giving her a little squeeze.

"So I guess this is where we say goodbye," Buffy concluded sadly.

"No," Angel contradicted her. "This is where we say 'until I return.'"

Buffy shook her head in denial of hope. "You can't promise…."

"I can, and I do," Angel replied.

"I won't hold you back."

"You could never hold me back."

"Damn it, Angel!" Buffy cried. "I'm trying to set you free!"

Angel smiled at her. "I don't want to be set free, Buffy," he explained easily.

Buffy looked away from him. "You're the Phoenix," she said. "You're…meant to fly away."

She could feel a touch of amusement from Angel at her use of metaphor. "Even a Phoenix needs to have a nest somewhere," he said in turn. "I want that to be with you."

They did not kiss in the minutes that followed, nor did they say 'goodbye' when Jade arrived at the door to take Angel away.

"Until I return," Angel said.

"I'll be here," Buffy replied. She looked at Jade seriously. "Take care of him."

"I will," Jade replied with a smile. "It's my job, after all."

Buffy stood watching as Jade ushered Angel from the house. Just short of leaving, the white-haired woman turned and smiled again. "The Phoenix and the Guardian are one," she said, and it sounded like a promise.

Buffy was left staring at the closed door. Those final words had blossomed into some inexplicable hope within her. That hope, she knew in that moment, was sure to last her centuries.

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