Disclaimer: Not mine, never have been, never will be. Don't remind me.
Summary: Buffy thinks about her life.
Spoilers: Everything up to S5, except Buffy didn't die.
Distribution: Want. Take. Have. Just tell me where. And in passing, why'd you want this?
Feedback: Hmm... Using plain common sense, what's the answer to this question? *hint hint* It starts with a "Y" and ends with an "S". :P

Normal's not all it's cracked up to be. Highly overrated, if you ask me. Cause I have a normal life now, after 5 years of wanting it, and 5 years of dreading it, and it's really not all it's cracked up to be. I'm 25 now. And I'm the only Slayer in history to have retired after reaching 25. The Slayer's power increases steadily until the Slayer's 25 and then starts to decline. It never really truly leaves, it just declines until the Slayer'd have a hard time dusting a vamp, but would be able to fight off a human without breaking sweat. So, on my twenty-fifth birthday these Council guys showed up, gave me a fancy little plaque with my name on it, and told me that 'my services were no longer required.' Faith's only a year short of 25. And I'm pretty sure she'll survive the year to retire, me and the gang are gonna back her up full and nothing can defeat the Scooby Gang. Then who knows what girl from where'll get called and live through the little drama that is a Slayer's life. I wonder if we'll stick around and help her too. If we don't leave this godforsaken town, probably.

I miss my nightly patrols, that's scary. I miss kicking vamp ass. I miss the good old days when we'd all gather round the table in the library while Giles put that stupid sign ˇ°Library closed for filingˇ± up and have a little study party. Well, it wasn't exactly studying in the conventional sense. It was more like researching the latest apocalypse, but anyway. And then the scene changed to Giles' apartment, and after that the Magic Shop. I miss studying. I referred to studying as 'the good old days'. Am I the only one majorly freaked about this? Probably not, I think Xander misses it too, and that's freaking him out.

And I miss Angel. I miss calling him up whenever there was a major disaster was afoot. It was pretty much the only way I could keep in touch with him. It was the easiest excuse I could come up with when one day I just took the bus to LA on impulse and ended up in that hotel of his. I'd tell him that there was this prophecy and when he proved it wrong, I'd say Giles must've calculated wrong. Of course, he saw right through it, I never could lie to him. But he didn't say anything, cause he wanted to see me too. We were officially ex, but un-officially not ex. Was that a sentence? What I was trying to say was that we both loved each other. Correction: We both love each other. Back when we were officially seeing each other, I sometimes doubted him. Like with Darla, or Drusilla, or other girls Cordy would casually mention when she called. Just to make my blood boil, no doubt. But these past few years, I just knew. Guess I grew up.

And you know what? The sunshine thing? That's not all it's cracked up to be either. I've just turned completely nocturnal during my ten years as a Slayer and once I graduated school, it just got worse. I'd sleep during the day and get up at sunset. Maybe I also wanted to work Angel hours. You know, go to sleep when he does, wake up when he does. Maybe it made me feel more connected to him. Who knows? Actually, who cares? All I know is that I rarely catch any rays.

And I am SO over wanting a normal boyfriend. I tried a few, didn't work out. Probably because I was still in love with Angel, but anyway. Let's see. Parker Abrams. Jerk. Who dumped me after I slept with him. Riley Finn. Fish Boy. I finally see that now. He was also a coward and a semi-pervert. Getting a thrill out of vampire whores feeding on him? Ben was a potential, well, I think he liked me, and he was pretty ok, but then again he was the twin of an evil goddess out to get my little sister. Oh, and by the way, I forgot to mention, Dawn's living a happy life too.

And before that, starting with Owen. Owen Thurman. He wanted to be 'Danger Guy'. For a guy that smart and brooding, he sure was stupid about that. And Tom Warner. Senior at Crestwood college, well, he was at the time. He was in this stupid cult where they worshipped a big snake, and he tried to feed me to it. Ford. Technical name, William Fordham. One of my best friends from LA. Just goes to show how shallow and stupid I was before I became the Slayer. I'm thanking my destiny these days. Actually, I really felt sorry for him, he didn't know any better. Scott Hope. He was ok, I guess, but not the guy for me. I guess, summing it up, Scott was the most normal guy, the most boring guy, and Ben was the most abnormal guy. Owen was the nicest, I think, but he was pretty stupid. I've got a dismal history. The only perfect guy I can think of would be Angel, but then there's that vampire thing. Of course, personality wise Angel's perfect.

I'm even worse than my friends. I mean, Willow's dated a werewolf, a witch, and is now married to a werewolf. She's a witch herself. Xander married Anya, an ex-demon. Cordy's married to Doyle, an employee of Angel's, I heard he was half Bracken demon or something. They all have and had some pretty weird significant others. But they've never fallen for the losers of the human race. Of course, there's Faith. She once told me she was a loser magnet. And I guess that's somewhat true, I mean, "Ronnie, deadbeat. Steve, klepto. Kenny... drummer" and all, but... She's never "boinked the undead", to quote her. Or demon-twins of evil goddesses. Dawn's seeing this guy, David. I'm going all mother on her, hating the guy, giving him some serious third degree, but when I'm completely honest with myself, he's a nice guy. Dawn really likes him, seriously. I was 16 when I met the love of my life. I'm not exactly in the position to tell her it's just a crush, nor do I think so. They seem to really care for each other. Dawn's happy. They all are. I mean, even Giles got married to Olivia. So I'm here miserable, with my miserable history. God, pathetic much? ...I've spent way too much time on the phone with Cordy.

Normal's not all it's cracked up to be. It's only been a month since I was "dismissed". Oh, and for those of you who are wondering, Faith got out on parole a few months ago. She got convicted of murder-2. Life with the possibility of parole. Watching 'The Practice' comes in hand at times like these. And she got out after only 4 years. Guess the police and government and other whatevers, aren't as screwed as most of us think. They understood she was trying so hard to change, to make amends. And she was on her best behavior all the time. Guess that's why they let her go. She's in LA working with Angel. That doesn't bother me anymore, like I said, I just know. At first I tried to keep patrolling, but Giles didn't think that was wise. My strength *is* leaving. I can feel it. And it's kinda depressing. Guess I'll just have to live with this feeling that I'm getting weaker all the time.

I'm on a bus right now. To LA. I'm going there, and staying there. I mean, Angel can use some more muscle, even if I'm not up to Faith or him, I'll still be way better than Cordy's chick fighting. The Hellmouth just isn't the same for me. The whole gang up and left. Xander is in LA with Anya and their 2 kids. Xander is successful writer, the famous Alex Harris who wrote the famed best selling "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" series. Elizabeth Summers, nicknamed Buffy, fights vampires with her musty old English Watcher Giles, her best buds William and Alexandra, and her vampire love interest Angel. It's like the Harry Potter syndrome all over again. They say they're gonna make it into a TV series. Willow and Oz are in New York, Oz is just shy of international superstardom, with the Dingoes, and Willow a teacher at some high school. Giles is in England, happily married to a certain Jessica, who looks suspiciously a lot like Ms. Calendar. Giles denies it. Dawn and Tara are the only people left in the 'Dale. They run the magic shop together, and Dawn goes to UC Sunnydale. Even Spike's in LA helping Angel.

I get to thinking about Angel and me. Everything we went through. The love. The pain. The bloody melodrama that makes Xander's books best sellers. It was still worth it, though, and it still is. And I expect I'll get even more of it, now that we're working together. I'm assuming we are, I won't let him not hire me. You know, there are lots of things in this world that are overrated. Normal, being a superhero, saving the world. Unrequited love ain't all it's cracked up to be either.

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