Disclaimer: Joss, not me. *sigh*
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Cannon
Summary: A philosophical discussion over coffee brings startling revelations
Notes: This fic is hopelessly fluffy though inspired by a discussion on the Imzadi mailing list regarding Peter David's novel "Imzadi" in which he addresses the concept of love at first sight.
Dedication: To Janice for her support and flash beta job, to Deb who is stuck in jury duty, and to Tarina for the much needed pep talks. :-)

Three friends sat around a table engrossed in conversation. The was a familiarity amongst how they spoke with one another, a strong sense of companionship that exuded from their demeanor, and an even stronger note of comfortability in their body language. As if they had sat around a table like that one a million times over, discussing the philosophies of life or whatever else struck their fancy, while they drank coffee severely doctored with cream and sugar, the way they all seemed to like it. The afternoon was lazy and unhurried, touched off by a bright blue sky and a warm summer breeze, the perfect afternoon to lounge around an outdoor café and just speak whatever filtered across the mind.

"So, we had an interesting discussion in my philosophy class the other day," Willow stated excitedly, her hands waving in the air to enhance her words.

"What was the discussion about?" Xander Harris asked with mild interest as he brought his mug to his lips, hoping that course of the conversation wasn't going to sway towards book intellect, which were usually the types of conversations he tried to steer clear of.

"Love," Willow announced musically, singing the word as if she were reciting poetry.

"Aw, my favorite subject," Xander responded with a mischievous smile.

"Not mine," 23-year-old Buffy Summers inserted into the conversation, her hand lazily stirring her coffee with a straw as she gazed at her friends through the top of her sunglasses. "I think I'll bow out of this conversation now before I embarrass myself with how NOT an expert I am on this particular subject."

"Come on, Buff, we know that's not true," Willow said with a smile, flashing her friend a knowing look. "Besides, some really interesting aspects were brought up."

"Like what?" Buffy questioned, her curiosity getting the better of her even despite her earlier protest.

"Like discussing whether it is plausible to fall in love at first sight," Willow answered matter-of-factly, recognizing that she had both of her friends' undivided attention.

"Of course it isn't. You can have lust at first sight but not love," Xander announced, shaking his head. "How can you know you honestly think you love a person if you don't have the chance to get to know them first?"

"I think you can love someone at first sight," Buffy announced quietly, her face drawn and thoughtful. "It's not a matter of getting to know the person first, it's a matter of looking into their eyes and reading them as if you can see their entire essence before you. It's a matter of just knowing from somewhere within; that this is a person you want to spend time with."

"Pretty astute observation from Miss I'm-not-an-expert," Willow remarked dryly, barely concealing her smirk.

Buffy simply shrugged, her face taking on a far off look as if she were remembering a very fond memory.

"Someone once told me he fell in love at first sight because he could see that person's heart in her eyes. We live on the hellmouth; we've seen things that couldn't logically be explained by any wild stretch of the imagination. Is love from a mere glance really that inconceivable a concept?"

"Not when you put it that way," Xander responded, his face also deep in thought. "Though I'm not sure I believe that you really can know a person just by looking at them. There has to be a deeper connection than that."

"True," Buffy replied, more memories from past experiences filtering across her mind, bringing a smile to her face. "But you could spend a life time with someone and never really know them inside and out. What I was referring to was more the feeling of looking at someone and seeing ALL of them, their heart, their body, and their soul. Instinctually realizing that this person would make a great partner, and that can be done by one simple glance."

"Sounds to me like someone is drawing from a certain point in time as a reference, possibly centered around a certain ensouled vampire who used to reside in this very town," Xander teased, his eyes locked on his friend.

"Possibly," the slayer admitted with a sheepish grin, the memories of her lost love no longer as painful as they once were just a few years back. In fact now they often brought her comfort during the dark and lonely nights when she patrolled the streets, continuing a war that they both fought in.

"But whether I'm making conclusions based on past experiences or not, I truly believe that it is possible to love someone instantly, without needing to think about it," Buffy continued. "There is someone out there for everybody, someone whose chemistry just locks automatically with yours. Like the pieces of a puzzle."

"Actually," Willow inserted, truly enjoying hearing her friends' opinions, "there is a theory about 'instant chemistry' that's being tested by scientists. Some experts believe that humans' let off pheromones just like animals do, only it's not something we consciously pick up on. So technically it could be possible that your body and your subconscious to picks up on who would be good for you and who wouldn't."

"Gee, that's really romantic, Willow," Xander replied sarcastically, "kinda takes the poetry out of Buffy's 'looking into someone's soul' theory."

"I'm just saying," Willow said with a shrug, "that even in science it's possible."

"Well," Xander replied, leaning back in his chair. "You both could be right. I don't know. This could be one of those topics that could be discussed and analyzed until the cows come home and I think even then there would be opposing viewpoints. There will never be any clear answers. You kinda have to draw from what you know."

"True," Buffy said again, her statement distant as she pondered what she thought she knew. She found it ironic how little innocent conversations over coffee could spark such deep thought. And that now, after the voicing of viewpoints had forced her to confront beliefs she didn't even realize that she had, her soul couldn't help but contemplate the meaning behind her own words.

*****

Buffy courageously picked up the phone, her palms sweaty as she quickly dialed a phone number she had memorized long ago, trying to ignore the pounding of her heart as it echoed in her ears and the feeling of fear that gripped her soul as she forced herself forward in her task, intent on finding peace.

Seconds passed like decades before her, and each tick of the clock brought her breath more and more in drawn, as if not breathing could provide some relief to the anxiety that coursed through her blood stream. She had faced countless demons from hell, had died twice defeating apocalypses and yet one phone call to an ex-boyfriend had her more worked up than any of those other things ever had.

Finally she heard his voice saying hello. That deep, sexy sound that sent shivers up her spine and caused her head to spin. She let the sound of his voice wash over her, filling the empty parts of her heart that had been vacant for so long. It had been over three years since they had saw each other last and his effect on her was still there, those all-encompassing warring feelings of both happiness and love.

"Angel," Buffy said breezily, barely able to recognize her own voice as she felt slightly dizzy from the shock of her forwardness and from hearing his voice again.

"Buffy," Angel responded, surprise evident in his voice, though intermingled with uncontained aspects of love and curiosity.

"There is something that I have to say to you," she said quietly into the phone, working up every ounce of courage she could muster.

"Tell me," Angel replied encouragingly, equally soft though flooded with concern.

"I've done a lot of thinking recently, in the soul searching kinda way, and there is one truth that I came up with that I think I want you to know," she said in a rush, jumping into the conversation with both feet now that she had got passed the formalities of opening up the line of communication. "I love you. I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I'll love you tomorrow. I love you without logic, without constraint, and without being able to really control it. I love you not because I should and not because I'm even a part of your world anymore, but because your soul touched mine and that influence has never left. I love you regardless of curses, darkness, slayers, and vampires. There is still a place in my heart that is yours and it will always be there, no matter what we're doing or who we're with. I wanted you to know that in case there was ever really any doubt, and because I could die tomorrow. again, and I would have died withholding something that I would have wanted you to know."

There was a moment of complete silence, one where Buffy caught her breath, and her heart caught in her throat. A silence of pleasure/pain filled torture that couldn't be measured by any sort of scale or unit, but stretched on endlessly without the possibility of release. And then, soft yet filled to the brink with emotion, a gentle, tear-filled reply came over the phone.

"I love you, too."

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