Disclaimer: No money, no profit, no capitalism of any kind.

Rating: Same as the shows

Spoilers: Canon for both shows

Summary: A couple years down the road Buffy and Angel meet up again and decide that enough time has passed for them to strike up a friendship, but how long can that last given their history?

Dedication: Big huge hugs and thanks to Serena for the record beta job. She is so awesome, not just with the beta-ing, but also with the constant support. Also huge thanks to Tarina, who read every part to this fic, talked it out with me, discussed every philosophical angle, and then encouraged me to write more. Plus she is the one that inspired me to write it to begin with when the concept was no more than an idea I was toying with in my head as a diversion from Once Lost. And thanks to Janice as well, also big on the encouragement. I love you, guys!

"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood... blood screaming inside you to work its will." Spike, "Lover's Walk," Season Three

Chapter 1:

Buffy Summers stood on the pier of Santa Monica, thoroughly enchanted by the light of the moon reflecting off of the glistening surface of the ocean, as her ears welcoming the familiar sound of the surf, the wind gently caressing her skin. The ocean was a different experience at night, so calm and tranquil, the water looking like the surface of dark obsidian, while the only sounds to be heard were the silent song of the waves and the occasional cackle of a sea gull. The beauty of her surroundings was not lost on Buffy as she marveled at the dark and mysterious aura she associated with the sea. In a weird way it reminded her of the friend she was scheduled to meet, dark and enigmatic, with hidden depths and layers, a great giver of life, though its exquisite surface hid the true nature of strength and power. Just like Angel.

Three months ago Buffy Summers' life had changed drastically - it had started with the rampage of a demon. Not an unusual event in Buffy's life, but one desperate enough for a few worried residents of LA to give the sleepy town of Sunnydale a call and request the aid of a slayer. And so she had come, and she had fought, and she had nearly died protecting the man who bore the face she would love until her dying breath and beyond. It had been strange at first, fighting side by side with Angel, every move, every accidental brush of their bodies, every sing song trace of their presence in the same proximity of each other bringing back memories that both had tried so hard to conceal. But one thing they hadn't counted on, and one thing that relieved some of the awkwardness in their situation, was that time had a way of mending torn hearts and bruised souls. For the first time in a long time Buffy looked at Angel and saw past the angered hurt his leaving had caused just over four years ago, and for the first time Angel looked at Buffy and caught a glimpse of the wonderful adult she had become, any trace of teenage insecurities and deep settled reluctance to be the slayer long gone.

They had worked well together, as they always had in the past, each one respecting the other's boundaries, both of them moving fluidly as if they were of one mind instead of two. And through their combined efforts they had destroyed the threat, had conquered their demons, and had looked at each other longingly afterwards, recognizing the bond that their hearts had forged for all time, but neither of them really knowing what to do or say to one another. They had both grown up in their time apart, both taking different paths while becoming different people, and as much as Buffy had wanted to run swiftly and surely into Angel's arms, she recognized the fact that Angel was a virtual stranger to her, albeit the stranger who carried the lost piece of her soul. But they were both warriors, they both fought nightly battles, and regardless of past or changes in personality, there was still the deep-rooted longing to connect with each other regardless of circumstance.

Three days after the battle Angel had called her and asked her to meet for coffee, hiding his true feelings safely under the guise that enough time had passed since their break up to allow for them to become friends. And Buffy had agreed to meet him, convinced that perhaps getting to know Angel again as a companion and fellow warrior would allow her to finally let go of the romantic hold he had over her dreams.

But the plan had backfired - tremendously. Every moment of shared laughter, whispered secrets, and joint activities had caused Buffy to fall more and more in love with him and because she was so bent on trying to hide her feelings she missed the lingered looks of adoration, respect and longing that Angel sent her way whenever her back was turned. And so they both held on to their terrible secret, neither breathing a word of their true feelings, while the well of the emotion festered increasingly inside them.

There had been one day that Buffy had come close to blurting out how she really felt, the day Buffy had rejoiced with Angel when the Whistler brought him news that his soul was permanent as per a reward from The Powers. She had coincidentally been at the Hyperion that day helping out around the office while Cordelia took the day off for an audition, her hard-learned slayer walls firmly in place as she struggled to not be affected by the constant presence of Angel by her side. But no carefully constructed psychological barriers could help her against the shock that the Whistler brought with him. It had took every bit of acting muscle that she possessed to pretend that the news held no more interest to her than that of a loving, doting friend, and she had needed an even stronger sense of control to keep herself from grabbing him in a fierce embrace and kissing him until they both lost all sensibility.

Angel had had his own predicament that day, finding that he had to keep himself occupied by forcibly placing his hands behind his back in an attempt to keep himself from reaching out to her, his eyes desperately searching for any tell tale sign that she wanted him as he wanted her. But they had gotten through it, and they continued to intricately weave one another back into each other's lives, their friendship coming to the point where neither could imagine a time when they had gone so long without speaking. So long without loving.

"So," voice called, breaking Buffy out of the trance the ocean waves had put her in. "What's a beautiful girl like you doing out on a night like this?" Angel asked, his eyes shining with his teasing use of the classic pick up line.

"Well hello there," Buffy drawled, getting into the act. "I was just sitting here waiting for a big, handsome manly man to come along and whisk me off my feet."

"So how are you, Buffy?" Angel asked, unable to hold in the laughter as he secretly basked in her nearness and beauty.

"Still alive.for once, so that's a plus," she said, loving the way the moonlight shimmered across his face, casting shadows in the hidden contours. "How about you?"

"Good, and also still here," he said with a small smile that reached his brown eyes as he turned so he was shoulder to shoulder with her as they moved to walk forward, the stillness of the night a soothing balm to their restless souls.

"So other than existing, which is always of the good, what have you been up to?" Buffy asked, trying desperately to ignore the warmth the crept up in her system at his nearness by inserting the customary small talk into the conversation. For a brief moment Buffy wondered if small talk was just as damaging as any other form of conversation that they could have, because she found that she did genuinely want to hear how Angel was doing, and she did genuinely want to share in his experiences that he had had since she had saw him last, all of which culminated to the discovery that she found herself deeper inside his mind with every word he spoke, making it seem as though even the most innocent of conversations were intimate.

Angel flashed her a smile, his small, customary grin that told her he appreciated her companionship and her interest in his activities. "We've been pretty busy. Cordy had a vision earlier this week that had us chasing around this demon for days. We finally caught up to it last night. It was a tough little thing."

"I think I've fought one or two of those before," Buffy replied dryly, her own smile lighting her face as a weird thought crossed her mind. "You ever wonder what would happen if a stranger walked by and overheard our conversations? All this talk about demons and visions, they'd probably try and have us committed," she finished with a laugh.

"Who says we don't need to be committed anyway?" Angel teased, his eyes taking on a mischievous smirk.

"Oooh, good point. Score one for the vampire," Buffy giggled back, drawing an imaginary score of one in the air. "Always quick with the wit."

"I try," Angel laughed back, their teasing sending warm flutters to his heart. He loved being with her like this, talking, sharing, gently ribbing. He always felt closer to her when they did that, cocooned in her laughter and her sunny presence. She had this unique ability of making him feel free of burden, as if her companionship granted him reprieve from his darkened existence. It was moments like these that gave his heart a swift jolt, his arms itching to reach out and gather her close, his heart not caring one fig about the boundaries that they had set for their relationship. But his mind had always prevailed, and logic dictated that he keep his desires hidden.

"Ice cream," Buffy called, her gaze suddenly captivated by a brightly lit 31 Flavors a couple blocks away. "We must go get some, after the week I've had its practically essential to my cognitive process."

"Well, you can get some, but I'd better not, I wont be able to taste it," Angel gently reminded her, his features becoming marred by a look of deep sadness as the memory of eating ice cream with her once before, in what seemed like another lifetime, flashed across his mind.

Buffy felt a small pang when she realized the reaction her request had on Angel, her mind quickly coming up with ways to make it up to him and to return the smile to his face. With a flash of inspiration she quickly turned to face him, her face lighting up with a big grin that was infectious.

"What if I help you taste it?" she asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively as if she were daring him to take her up on her offer.

"And how do you propose to do that?" Angel questioned in return, holding back a grin.

"Ever heard of phone sex, Angel?" Buffy smirked, holding back the laughter that threatened to bubble over at the shocked look that passed over his face as a result of her last question. Despite his unflappable nature and his rather long resume of experience, blatant references to sex, particularly coming out of her mouth because she seldom used them, still managed to shock the hell out of him. Sometimes she found it kind of fun to shock him a little bit, and she secretly suspected that he liked to be shocked a little in turn. "It's the same concept. You get the ice cream and eat it and while you're doing that I will describe in vivid detail what the ice cream feels and tastes like. Who knows what the mind is capable of once we put the suggestions there," she finished saucily, her tone of voice undeniably issuing a challenge.

"Okay, I'm game," Angel responded in turn, his amusement over her antics snapping him out of the last remnants of his reverie as he started walking swiftly towards the store. "Let's go taste some ice cream."

"Yay, I win," Buffy replied, her tone light as she regarded him thoughtfully, hoping that the experiment worked and that she would be able to provide Angel with a little slice of humanity, something she knew that he always longed for.

Angel just smiled enigmatically back at her in return, his strong hands holding the door for her as they walked in, while his gaze lingered longingly on her retreating form, a swift intake of unneeded air filling his lungs he watched the florescent lights of the store cause Buffy's blonde hair to shine in a thousand different hues of blonde. She looked wonderingly at the flavors, her eyes lighting up like a child in a candy store and finally she chose something, quite what Angel wasn't sure of, but she placed an order for two cones as she turned and gave him a wink, her gaze staring at him mischievously, as if they shared a secret. Angel couldn't help but respond, couldn't help but to smile, nod, and take the cone she handed him securely in his grip, his eyes laughing along with hers.

"Peanut butter ice cream, with little pieces of chocolate peanut butter cups, there is nothing more heavenly on this whole planet," she said dreamily, joining him as they quickly exited the store. "Definitely the way to go for the virgin ice cream eating experience."

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that she was mistaken, and that he had eaten ice cream with her once before, but he held his tongue and instead moved to sit with her on a bench, his eyes studying the cone intensely as he struggled to come to grips with his emotions. Despite their growing closeness, the one subject that had become taboo between them was their romantic past. The thought of actually talking about what had happened between them was a terrifying one, and so they used their recent friendship as a cover, not delving into anything deeper or passionate. But it was slowly killing Angel to do it, eating away at his soul piece by piece until he wanted to howl in frustration. Just keeping his hands off of her was an effort. He would love to share with Buffy the details of that day. To inform her of his shanshu, to share with her his hopes for the future, but to do so would violate the unspoken law in their new found relationship and so he kept stoically quiet, content to have her any way that he could get her.

"Are you ready?" she asked gently, giving him a look that showed so much, yet kept so much hidden. Angel briefly wondered if her words had a double meaning, but he quickly dismissed the thought, flashing her a grin as he brought the ice cream to his lips.

"Its creamy and rich," she started softly, her voice taking on a methodical tone. "It melts smoothly in your mouth, coating your tongue, and traveling down your throat," she added, finding herself reacting to her own words as she threw herself whole-heartedly into her description.

For his part Angel closed his eyes, letting the feelings that Buffy's voice evoked in him wash over his being as he truly attempted to feel her descriptions, losing himself in a trance of feminine sound and the wonderful feeling of ice cream igniting the long dead taste buds in his mouth.

"It feels cold, but despite the temperature, the texture is soothing, and it fills your mouth with a milky, sugary sweetness," she continued, marveling at the rapture that appeared on his face as her words effected his experience. "You bite into it softly, tasting the peanut butter chucks, marveling at the contrast between the salty nut flavor and the taste of chocolate. There are so many wonderful flavors, all of them rich, and they fill your mouth and caress your skin."

A warmth started spreading through Buffy as they continued in their game, the eroticism of the moment causing her skin to start to tingle with pleasant little jabs of fire all over her body. Her heart rate increased, combining with her voice to fill Angel's ears, and lull him further under her spell. "You savor the flavor and the feel, letting it sit on your tongue briefly before moving on to the next bite, starting the whole process over again."

For a brief moment Angel felt it, the experience of eating ice cream. It was so easy to forget who and what he was when he was with Buffy, so easy to experience things with her that he never thought he'd feel again. The sheer humanity of their actions touched him, sending his heart soaring and his mind reeling. But the moment passed all too soon, and Angel opened his eyes and stared at her, both of them frozen in place as their eyes caught and held. The world slipped quietly away as their gazes held them both captive, both feeling as if they were being swept away by forces intent on finding pleasure, passion, and love.

It was Angel who tore his gaze away first, his mind struggling to come to grips with the reality of the situation. He took a few moments to gather his bearings and then turned to her with a teasing smile returned swiftly to his face, his eyes struggling desperately to hide his pain behind laughter. It had been entirely too close for his comfort, this feeling of wanting to jump out of his skin with sheer need of her. For a moment he had lost himself, had transported back in time to a period where she had belonged to him and he was at liberty to reach out and touch her whenever he felt the need. Never before in his extremely disciplined life had he had to work as hard as he did now at only being Buffy Summers' friend, nothing more. And never before had he been so utterly frustrated.

"Nice try, but no cigar. Vampires and ice cream just don't mix," he said with forced humor, attempting to laugh as she gently smacked him on the arm and chuckled forcefully in response, her thoughts consumed with self-chastising. She had been playing with fire, and she knew it. It didn't take much as it was for her to get worked up around Angel, but through her words, and her actions, she had come pretty damn close to crossing that shaky line. She could drown in him so easily, just lose herself in her desire, her wholly consuming passion to hold him near and dear to her soul. And it terrified her to no end that he had this command over her that always had and always would be in place. She had compromised her friendship with him by messing around the way she had, and his companionship was too dear to her to lose that last remaining thread she had to his heart. Guilt added itself to the myriad of other emotions that she carried, and she sighed, wondering despairingly if it would ever get any easier.

Chapter 2:

Cordelia Chase was sorting through paper work when Angel walked in from his night out with Buffy. She had felt restless that night, unable to sleep or settle down, and so she had come to work to catch up on things that had been helplessly building up, certifiably convinced that if she buried herself in work she wouldn't have time to ponder her social life, or disturbing lack there of. She regarded her friend thoughtfully when he came into the office, welcoming the distraction as she easily noted his troubled expression and defeated demeanor, something that didn't take an extremely observant person or a genius to pick up on. It appeared as though Angel also had energy to burn, taking off his coat to hang it up, walking from here to here to grab things and then put them back down. For a few minutes Cordelia assessed the situation by simply watching him pace around, waiting for him to say something or even address her presence. But that didn't happen and she sighed as she realized she would have to be the one to get a conversation rolling.

"Why in the world do you keep doing this to yourself?" she asked bluntly, not wasting time on pleasantries.

"Doing what?" Angel answered with a question of his own, his tone indicating his annoyance.

"Meeting Buffy at least once a week, pretending to be the bestest of buds, when you know as well as I do that you want more than just friendship from her," she answered with her usual precise honesty, watching him closely as he weighed her words.

A sigh escaped Angel's lips before he could catch it, and his posture sunk in defeat as he allowed himself to fall into a seating position on the couch. "Both Buffy and I are comfortable with how are relationship is going right now. Its great being friends. Besides, we both live in different towns and I'm still a vampire. Neither of us need the pressure of romantic entanglements."

Cordelia just shook her head and snorted, a look of disbelief falling over her face. "Yeah right, and I'm Mother Teresa. That's a load of crap and you know it. I see the way you look at her whenever she's here, I know that you've kept her picture in the top drawer of your desk since you moved to LA, and I also know that she is the only person I know who can put you in this kind of mood. If you wanted to just be 'friends' you wouldn't be storming around this place wearing a hole in the tile."

Angel gently shook his head in response, his eyes taking on a deep sadness as he fought within himself to contain his despair. He knew that Cordelia was right, and it troubled him that his feelings were so transparent. If she had noticed it, what was to stop Buffy from eventually catching on? However, this was the situation they had both been dealt. He could think of a million logical reasons why he and Buffy couldn't be together as lovers, all of them valid, but his heart refused to be influenced by logic. He could no more turn his love off than he could stop existing. He had always loved her, loved her even more now that they had had time to reconnect and that he truly admired the person she had become. Being her friend these past few months had only increased the intimacy of their bond. He felt as if he truly knew her in a way that their passion for each other had never really allowed before. There were so many times when he questioned whether just being friends with Buffy while going through the torture of wanting her so desperately was worth it, but that question was always answered for him with a smile on her face or a joke from her lips.

"I don't want to talk about it, Cordelia," he finally answered in as much of an admission as he would ever give while he mentally sorted enough through his rapidly warring emotions to know that he was tired, and really not in the mood to discuss his feelings with anyone.

Cordelia simply smiled, realizing that her boss was worn down, which of course meant that now was exactly the time to push her point further. For four years Cordelia had worked under Angel, and in four years she had grown to discover a truth about her friend that, upon its discovery, had done wonders in her means of dealing with him. Despite his continuously stoic aura, Angel thought and felt things deeply, a trait that often fueled his passion in battle and accentuated his desire to do the right thing. It was a part of who he was, an infinite part of his essence beyond vampirism or inner demons, as natural to his character as his deep and abiding love for Buffy Summers. There had been a time when the last thing Cordelia would have wanted for Angel was Buffy, but years of fighting the demon population, of getting mind numbing visions and seeing the worst, lowest form of evil the planet could offer, had cultivated a healthy respect for the tiny blonde slayer who had already given her life twice to save the world.

A blind person would be able to tell that Buffy and Angel were meant for each other. The way they sometimes infuriatingly finished each other's sentences or spoke volumes to one another in a glance while everyone else around them was entirely oblivious, the way they sometimes lapsed into silence yet seemed entirely comfortable doing so, neither seeing the need to force a conversation. The way they had so many things in common or the way they both looked at each other as if they were the begin all and end all of the world. They were the two most stubborn, pig-headed, and entirely frustrating people she had ever met, and yet they were the two most deserving of some sort of minuet form of happiness. The problem stemmed from the fact that they both actually believed they were doing the right thing, thus blind to the fact that they were each playing the role of martyr needlessly by pretending to be 'just friends'. All of which contributed to Cordelia's deep seeded need to force at least one of the two of them to wake the hell up.

"All right then," Cordelia claimed brightly, almost a little too brightly for Angel's liking. "We won't talk about you, we'll talk about me and my date from hell tonight."

At that Angel raised his eyebrows, his emotions shifting from borderline depression to concerned friend in one full swoop. "You didn't tell me you were going out tonight. Why didn't you have your date pick you up here, I could have got a feel of his character for you."

Cordelia simply snorted, giving her friend an exasperated if not affectionate look. "What? And have you do your protective-older-brother song and dance, scarring the man for life? No thank you. Although it might have been fun to see you give this one the third degree."

"What happened?" Angel asked, his curiosity briefly sparing him from his own troubles.

"Oh, I just found out that he was involved in another relationship…with himself. I swear to god every sentence out of his mouth began with 'me,' it was so boring. I think I might have even dozed off there a couple of times. And any time I tried to steer the conversation to my day, or my work, forget it, we'd just go right back to him," she finished with a humorous grin, eyeing her friend as he chuckled while she prepared to go into full hint mode.

"Dating is so hard. Sometimes I wonder if there are any decent men in this whole freakin city. What I wouldn't give to find a guy who was just like me, who was meant for me. Of course if and when I find that guy there is no way in hell I would pretend to just be his FRIEND," Cordelia said pointedly, smiling secretly to herself when she saw a dawning realization cross Angel's features. "Wesley once told me that what you and Buffy share is rare, and after seeing what's out there, boy, do I believe him. It's just too bad that you are both so inept at going after what you really want," she finished with a flourish, waving her palm in the air to emphasize her words.

Angel's gaze turned dark as he shook his head at Cordelia, his dark eyes deep and tormented. "Things aren't that simple. I can't just be with Buffy because I want to be. First there is our past to consider, and second she has to want the same thing, which I'm not sure she does. She has made no move to indicate she wants anything other than friendship."

"Then you're blind," Cordelia said firmly, her own eyes taking on a sympathetic look. "I'm not pretending to be all knowledgeable on all things Buffy, but friends don't look at each other the way Buffy sometimes looks at you. I'm not even sure Buffy knows what she wants, but it is very clear that she is still in love with you, Angel. God, even a stranger can see that!"

Angel let out a sigh, as he leaned against the back of the couch and closed his eyes, all fight and fire simply leaving his body.

"I can't see it," he responded softly, so softly that Cordelia almost didn't hear him.

Cordelia just shook her head, finally giving up helping someone who clearly didn't want to help himself.

"Well, then try looking harder," Cordelia finally finished, standing up and giving Angel's shoulder a quick squeeze before turning back to her paper work.

The silence that followed became deafening as Angel was left to ponder Cordelia's words.

*****

"I hate my life!" Dawn Summers announced shrilly, stomping into the Summer's home slamming doors and throwing her back pack down on the floor. Her face was red and splotched with tears, her young body shaking. Bright sunlight swept through the windows of the entry hall, illuminating Dawn's tear stained skin, and casting an angelic glow around her face and hair. Buffy walked wordlessly into the hall from the kitchen, assessing her sister's mental state before moving to envelope Dawn into a huge hug. A stab of sympathy entered Buffy's heart as she held her sister, her mind remembering full well what it was like to be sixteen and a girl, a time when it seemed like the whole world couldn't understand what life was like under such circumstances. Dawn didn't have to breath a word of what was wrong for the slayer to assess what emotional place her younger sister was in at that moment, she just knew, almost as if it were instinctive to her, like looking in a mirror just six short years ago. It was a humbling experience, raising a younger sister, watching her grow up and experience similar things that Buffy had endured during her own adolescence. She saw so much of herself in Dawn that it was scary at times.

"Do you want to talk about it? Is it that boy you've been seeing? Brett?" Buffy asked after awhile, gently running her fingers through her sister's long hair as Dawn started to sob even harder at the mention of the boy's name. Without a further word Buffy started to move both of them towards the living room couch, gently setting her sister down while Dawn buried her head in Buffy's shoulder.

For awhile there was utter silence, just the quiet sound of Dawn's sobs, and the occasional "shhhh, its okay" from Buffy as she rocked her sister gently, trying to provide what comfort she could. If ever there was a time when Buffy missed her mother it was times like these. Joyce Summers had always seemed to know the right thing to say, the right way to provide comfort. So many times in Buffy's dealings with Dawn she had to muddle her way through, trying as best she could to be what her sister needed while trying to remember how she had liked to be dealt with at that age.

When the sobbing had subsided Dawn looked up at Buffy with red brimmed eyes, her expression indicating that she had just lost the world and then some. "Brett broke up with me. He said that he didn't want to see me anymore. I loved him, Buffy," she finished with quietly, breaking into another round of sobs.

For a brief second it was on the tip of Buffy's tongue to tell Dawn that she was awfully young, that there was time enough to experience love and that what Dawn had had with Brett would come again. But as soon as the thought had come so had the memory of her sixteen-year-old self falling head over heels in love with the vampire she had meant in an alley way, the very soul that she still loved to this day. She was experienced enough in the world to know that love wasn't restricted to age and that teenagers were as capable as anybody at falling head over heals and at having their very hearts preverbally torn from their chest and stomped on. She also knew that Dawn's pain would become lighter over time, though it would never really go away entirely. First loves were sometimes the strongest relationships ever formed over the course of a lifetime, but with age came wisdom which allowed one to deal with those feelings on a different level.

The last thing Buffy Summers would have wanted to hear at the tender age of sixteen was that she didn't know what love was and that love would come again, and so she didn't say any of those things to Dawn now, she simply continued to hold her sister while allowing Dawn the time she needed to cry herself out.

"I wish I had never met him," Dawn stated awhile, her voice hollowed and muffled against her sister's sweater.

"Don't say that Dawnie," Buffy replied quietly, giving her sister a soft squeeze. "You should never feel bad about loving people, I did too much of that when I was your age. Loving people makes us better, makes us complete. However, if this guy hurts you again I will not be responsible for a pointed, wooden stake finding its way through his heart, human or not."

At that Dawn smiled, her first genuine smile of the day, and she leaned further into Buffy's embrace, cuddling up to her sister as if Buffy were her only shield against the world.

"How about we stay in tonight and order a pizza? We can rent movies, and just veg in front of the television while marveling at the Summers' curse when it comes to relationships and eating all kinds of break-up type foods?" Buffy asked as they both just sat there on the couch, the quiet solitude of the afternoon somewhat comforting to the atmosphere of the day.

Dawn beamed at her sister, the light starting to shine once again in her eyes. "That sounds like fun."

"Good, it's a date," Buffy said, standing up from the couch to stretch her legs and to make a phone call. After comforting her sister's broken heart Buffy had the sudden need for some comfort herself, though in a different magnitude and for different reasons. Raising Dawn was a source of insecurity in Buffy's life, both because she was determined to do right be her sister, realizing that if she screwed up she messed up not only one life but two, but also because she worried that her mother would have done a far better job of it had she still been alive. So many times she questioned whether she had been saying or doing the right thing. This was one of them. She had never told Dawn that she couldn't date this boy whom she had sensed as arrogant, fearing that Dawn would do it behind her back if she put her foot down. She had never told Dawn that she was too young to date one man exclusively, realizing that her three-year relationship with Angel would sort of make her a hypocrite in that perspective. All the stuff that normal parents did when their sixteen-year-olds started to date, Buffy didn't do, and now her baby sister's heart was broken.

A part of Buffy knew that heartbreak was as natural to growing up as acne, and that it was a full part of the learning process, but the overbearingly protective part of her wished her sister would never have to deal with any sort of negative trauma in her life, especially since she had been through so much already. All in all Buffy couldn't have imagined handling anything differently, but it didn't hurt to hear that same thought from someone else, a certain someone else whose voice alone always managed to lift her spirits.

Buffy wasn't thinking about her actions as she walked to her bedroom to use the phone to call Angel, she moved based on an instinctive need. It didn't dawn on her that Angel was the first person she ran to when she was feeling troubled, and it didn't quite grasp her consciousness that his opinion on matters meant more to her than any other voice in her life, but when she picked up the phone and dialed the numbers she had long since memorized by heart the realization sunk in. When she had been younger and she and Angel had been dating he was the only one she felt really comfortable confiding in. He had always been so understanding, so non-judgmental, he had this way of just looking at her as if he could see her very soul shining through her eyes. Apparently old habits died hard because now that Angel was back in her life, she felt the same drive, the same need to be understood and to bear her soul to him. When afraid, he was the one that could be counted on to be brave, when hurt he was the one to make the pain go away. It was a bit unsettling to Buffy to realize that her need for Angel was there in full force, its intensity not really recognizing the status of their relationship.

Her heart raced, the way it always did, when he picked up the phone and spoke, though instead of saying the customary greeting he called her name, another habit from days of old that had been reintroduced into their lives. Angel always knew when it was Buffy who was calling, through instinct or some other unknown force, she couldn't say.

"Hey Angel," she said softly, trying to physically force her pulse to slow and her voice to sound normal, but of course Angel would know better, and of course the first words out of his mouth would be….

"What's wrong? You sound upset," Angel questioned, alarm rising in his voice as his protective mode snapped firmly into place.

Buffy sighed, not sure on whether to be frightened or amused by the fact that he read her so well.

"Dawn is going through a hard time. Her boyfriend just broke up with her, and this was the first guy that she really seemed attached to. What a jerk," Buffy replied, letting out a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"Is she okay?" he asked, his voice soft though not as startled as before.

"Yeah, she's okay. She cried a lot, and she's pretty depressed, but I'm hoping the damage isn't too severe," Buffy said honestly, plopping herself down on her bed.

"She'll be fine, it will just take time. And I'm sure her recovery will be even quicker than normal because she has you there for support," he stated soothingly, a small smile passing his lips. He could almost feel Buffy's concern for her sister through the phone line. When it came to Dawn, Buffy was always overly paranoid that the younger girl would end up on a day time talk show reciting all the horrible deeds her older sister had done while raising her, though it was evident to Angel and anyone who had ever witnessed the two of them together that Buffy was doing one hell of an amazing job with Dawn.

"You think so?" Buffy asked, amazed that he had, again, known exactly the right thing to say to lift her spirits.

"I know so," Angel responded, wishing he could be there to give her shoulder a squeeze or to give her a smile. And just as Angel thought it, Buffy knew that she wanted him there, wanted his calming presence and his reassuring demeanor, wanted him to be there to comfort Dawn like he always managed to comfort her.

"You busy tonight? 'Cause Dawn and I are doing the bond-over-break-up thing and I'd love for you to join us. As long as you don't mind hanging out with two chicks who will most likely be bashing men all night," Buffy asked teasingly. For once she didn't let her mind ponder over what her need of him meant, and why her pulse jumped at the thought of seeing him, the way it always did, all she cared about was that she wanted him there.

"I'll be there in a few hours," he answered, a slight, almost undetectable pang in his voice.

Go to Part 3