Disclaimer: The idea is my own. The characters and stuff belong to Joss, ME, Fox, whoever else claims to own them. Basically, NOT MINE!
Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive; archived @ ff.net under Doc5
Rating: G/PG
Summary: starts in “You’re Welcome” when Cordy kisses Angel. Just an idea I had. Don’t stop now just b/c you think this is a C/A piece b/c really, its not (C/A turned B/A). Just a little tribute to our Cordy.
SPOILERS!!: “You’re Welcome” A7
AN: forgive me for making you all re-live the kiss (skip the first paragraph if you want), but it just goes along with the story. I promise that although it begins w/ a little C/A, its B/A all the way baby! Hey, the kiss grossed me out too, but Cordy was dying, wouldn’t you want to kiss Angel before you died? I’M B/A ALL THE WAY!
Feedback: Much appreciated, lilmisslovly@swbell.net

“Oh, what the hell, one for the road,” Cordy turned and ran back into Angel’s arms. She kissed him like it was the last time. Angel could feel it, could feel her goodbye…but why did it feel like her goodbye was forever? He pulled away as the phone rang and smiled at her.

“I don’t need to get that,” he pulled her closer as she played with the collar of his shirt.

Cordelia smiled up at him and said with tears in her voice, “That, you have to get.”

Angel let her go and walked to the phone.

“Oh, and you’re welcome,” he heard from behind him.

“Hello? Yes, I know she’s…that’s impossible. She’s standing right,” as he turned, Cordelia was gone. His heart fell as tears welled in his eyes. He put the phone back to his ear, “I’m sorry. Yeah. Did um…when did she die?”

He listened to the person on the other end of the line. It wasn’t true. She was right there…wasn’t she?

“Did she…she never did wake up? I see.”

He fought the tears. He slipped the phone back into its place and looked again where she had been.

“Thank you.”

Angel stood alone in the sanctuary and stared at all the flowers surrounding the ivory coffin. An angel had been engraved on the top; he would always be watching over her. He heard soft shuffles behind him and turned to see the rest of his friends enter the church.

“How long have you been here?”

Wesley put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a look of concern.

“I’m not sure. Will the service be starting soon?”

“Half an hour, maybe a little longer. There are some people gathered out in the lobby if you’d like to go talk to them. I believe Mr. and Mrs. Chase are here.”

Angel stared blankly at him and turned to sit in the pew. He rubbed his eyes. It had been three days since Cordelia had died and he hadn’t slept since then. He heard soft whispers, “I’ll stay with him. You all go outside.”

Wesley sat next to his dear friend and tried to hold back his tears. Cordelia was like family, a younger sister. Losing her was mind numbing and he wasn’t sure if he was going to recover. But, he didn’t look as horrible as Angel did. The man was wallowing in grief.

“The flowers are lovely.”

“Yeah. She would have liked them. Wes, how did this happen?”

“Angel, we all knew that this was a possibility when Cordelia went into the coma. I guess we were convinced that she would come back some day. I’m just glad we got one last chance…”

The two men sat in silence, both grieving for a woman they both loved very much.

The service began and the church filled quickly. Angel, Wes, Fred, Gunn and Lorne shared the front row with Cordy’s parents and some of her other relatives. Angel was sure that she hadn’t spoken to her parents since she left Sunnydale and vice versa and that most of the relatives in attendance were only there to see how she had been living her life since she left her home. It angered him, but they were her blood so they had just as much right to be there as the rest of them. The row directly behind them was marked “Reserved” but unless the Powers That Be were going to be in attendance, Angel couldn’t think of who could possibly be occupying it. A few of the “Cordettes” were in attendance, including Harmony, undead as she was, and a few of Cordy’s other classmates had also decided to attend. As things progressed, Cordelia’s favorite song was played and Harmony read a poem in her honor. The pastor opened up the podium so that some of her friends could speak about her and Gunn volunteered to go first.

“Cordelia was one of those people who no matter how much they get on your nerves, you know that it’s all out of love. We met when I started working for her employer and even though we fought like cats and dogs, I knew she had my back. She was always there for us when we needed her and went thru a lot of hell that could have been avoided, but then again, I probably wouldn’t be here today if she would have avoided it. I loved her like family and things just aren’t gonna be the same without her,” he wiped a tear from his cheek as he walked back to his seat. Harmony decided that she was more important than Wesley, so she got up next. She was blubbering like a fool and nobody could understand a word she was saying.

“…and she was my best friend. Even when I was evil, she was still like ‘lets paint our toenails’….and I just won’t even find that kind of love again…WHY GOD?!? WHY?!?”

After Harmony was helped back to her seat, Wesley got up to say a few words, “When I first met Cordelia, she was in high school. She had an air about her that one might have found offensive, but it intrigued me. Over the years she became my best friend. We would do silly things and laugh for hours about something ridiculous. Cordelia was always there for me and she even saved my life a few times. Gunn already said most of the things that I too feel; she was my family, like a sister and I loved her truly with all my heart. It was a privilege just to be touched by such a person.” Wesley took his seat and Fred stepped behind the podium.

“Hello. I knew Cordelia for about three years. We were friends and she would always take me shopping and talk me into buying things that I would never wear. She was fun and she always had a smile on her face, unless you pissed her off and then you better watch out. We shared secrets and talked about girly stuff and she was a good friend to me when I didn’t have anybody. She helped keep all of us on the right track and I am so grateful that I got to have her in my life,” she put her hand on the coffin and whispered, “I love you Cordy,” and walked back to her seat. Lorne opted not to draw anymore attention to himself and so Cordelia’s parents and a few friends got up to speak about her. Angel was torn between getting up and telling everyone what this girl meant to him or just staying silent. Fred nudged him and she nodded towards the front of the room. Slowly, he got up and made his way behind the podium.

“Cordelia Chase was an amazing person. She was bright and loving and intelligent and brave. She gave me a purpose and kept me on track. She made me believe that I could win even against impossible odds. I will miss her everyday for the rest of my life. She was family and to us, she always will be. I loved her very much and I hope, wherever she is, she’s happy and she has the peace she deserves.”

Angel went back to his seat and the pastor again took his place at the podium.

“If there is no one else who would like to speak about Cordelia, then we will be moving on.”

As if on cue, Buffy, Willow and Xander walked into the church and stopped as the whole sanctuary turned to look at them.

“We’d like to say something.”

The trio took the stage and Willow began, “I’ve known Cordelia since we were in kindergarten. We didn’t exactly get along all the time, but sometimes Cordelia could surprise you. She had a tough skin, but underneath it was her heart. She would try to help even if she ended up screwing things up even more, and she helped me get thru a couple of rough times in my life. She will be missed.”

Willow stepped back and Xander began to speak, “Cordelia was the first girl I ever fell in love with. She dumped her friends when they didn’t like me and that meant more to me than she could ever know. She was a good person and she was very bright. She was so beautiful. I will miss her smile and her sarcastic banter. I’m sorry I didn’t get to see her one last time. I’ll miss you Cordy.”

Buffy felt the knots forming in her stomach. She didn’t know what she was going to say. She only knew Cordelia for three years and in that time, they’d mostly been well, not friends. But, she had changed a lot over the last few years. That was evident the last time she had seen her. She felt everyone staring at her and cleared her throat.

“Cordelia…” she stopped and took a deep breath, “Cordelia was a very unique person. She was the first person that talked to me when I first moved to Sunnydale and the first person that quit talking to me. She would have liked for us, me, Xander and Willow, to believe that she was forced into being friends with us because she was dating Xander, but I think that she really did care for us, deep down. Cordy could always make you laugh because you never knew what was going to come out of her mouth. Most of the time whatever she was saying was being said at the exact wrong moment, but she always spoke her mind and she never lied. We’ve lost touch over the years, but Cordelia was one of my true friends and I will miss her a great deal. She was a brave person and a strong woman. I know we all will miss her.”

The three friends stepped down and took their seats behind Angel and the rest of Cordy’s family and friends. The service continued and Lorne, who couldn’t bare not being able to tell everyone how much Cordy meant to him, decided, horns be damned, that he was going to sing a song especially for Cordelia. He made the whole sanctuary cry and nobody seemed to notice his appearance. Angel had a memorial stone erected in Doyle’s memory after he died and Cordelia was buried next to him.

Angel had decided that they would hold the wake at the Hyperion because that was the last place that Cordelia remembered as home. He’d had it decorated with all of her favorite colors and flowers and it looked amazing. People mingled and munched on food as they visited. He sat alone in a corner of the room drinking a glass of brandy. He was still in shock. The last time he felt this way, Cordelia was there to comfort him. Now what?

“Hey.”

Angel looked up to see Buffy standing before him. He tried to smile, “Hey. I didn’t think you’d be able to make it.”

“We were all in England making a Slayer switch so we caught the earliest flight we could. It was luck. How are you holding up?”

Angel held out his arms, “How do I look?”

“Honestly? Like hell.”

He laughed, hard…cold.

“How did all this happen Angel? You never mentioned Cordelia was sick.”

“Last year she was taken over by a demon. It gave birth to itself and when it did, she went into a coma. She’s had round the clock care ever since then and we were hoping that she was going to wake up. The Powers let her come back to us for a day.”

She looked at him then, surprise written on her face.

“Come back?”

“We got a call, they said she was awake and she was. She was Cordelia and she saved me and then she was gone.”

She put her hand on his and he clasped it in his own.

“I’m sorry, Angel. I know how close you were to her.”

“I liked what you said about her. You were honest and that would have made her happy.”

“Cordelia was an amazing person. I wish I could have said more, but you know, most people don’t get what we do so.”

“Yeah.”

“You want another drink?”

He stared at his empty glass.

“Sure.”

She hopped up and brought him back a fresh glass of brandy and a coke for herself.

“So did you look this scary when I died?”

“I left when you died. I had to go hit things.”

“Ah, I see. Well, what can I do to cheer you up?”

“Cookies?”

She smiled, touched that he had remembered her ramblings, even after so much had happened.

“Not yet.”

“For now, the drink is good…and having you here. I’m really glad ya’ll could make it.”

“Me too.”

They sat in silence for the next few minutes until Angel laughed.

“What is it?”

“It’s just weird. When I came back from my “leaving” after you died, Cordelia was there to comfort me and now you’re here, doing the same thing. It’s just weird.”

“I’m beginning to think that I’m the normal one and everyone else is very strange. It makes my life easier,” she smiled.

He had missed her smile. It had been almost a year since they had seen one another and he had just missed her all together. Losing Cordelia was hard on everyone, but having Buffy here eased the pain and gave him that little bit of hope that he needed to continue on in this stupid world. Willow and Xander walked up them, both unsure of what to say.

“Hey, Angel.”

Angel smiled at Willow and took her outstretched hand.

“Thank you for coming, both of you. I know that it would mean a lot to Cordelia.”

“She was a Scooby. Scoobies always get a big send off.”

Willow realized that nothing more would be said and so she ushered Xander along to the refreshments table, demanding that he get her a drink.

“Buffy, come find us when you’re ready to go.”

Buffy nodded to her friends and looked to Angel again. She couldn’t get over how tired he looked.

“…in town for?”

Buffy snapped out of it and looked confused, “What?”

“I said, how long are you in town for?”

“We’re catching a flight out tomorrow night. We have to get back to the big HQ. I’m sure that Giles is going nutty without us by now. It’s not easy keeping so many girls under control, especially when they have super human strength.”

“You left him there alone?”

Buffy laughed, “Are you kidding? He begged me to take him with us. I left Dawn, Faith and Robin there to help him, but I’m sure that they are having a hard time without us. It’s like a fine tuned machine, take out a couple of the parts and it goes all wonky. You know how it is.”

He nodded slightly and began to study the room again. She sighed loudly and raised a hand to run it thru her hair.

“Angel, you need to get some rest. You’re not going to be able to function properly unless you do.”

“Buffy, I hardly need you to be mothering me.”

“I’m not mothering. I’m telling you as someone who loves you that you need to rest. I know that you are grieving, but would Cordy want this?”

“She’d be telling me to get some rest and then wake me up the next morning and tell me to get off my ass and do some work.”

“That’s our Cordelia. Why don’t you go get some sleep? I’m sure the guests can function perfectly fine without you. I’m sure your corner will be lonely, but I think it can manage.”

He set down his drink and stood, his back to her. He turned slightly, “Would you…” he stopped. Was this the right thing to do?

“Would you like to come and see my new place?”

She smiled, “Sure! I bet its nifty. Let me go tell Willow and Xander.”

Buffy got up and went to find her friends while Angel went and found Wesley.

“Wes.”

“Angel, how are you doing?”

“I think I’m gonna take off. I need some sleep. Buffy is going to go back to my place with me. If you need anything, just give me a call on my cell.”

“Sure. Um, Angel…are you sure it’s the best idea that Buffy accompany you in your state? I trust both of you implicitly, but I don’t want…”

“Wesley, don’t worry so much. Tell the rest of the gang that I said good night.”

Angel found Buffy and the couple made their way thru the slowly dwindling crowd of people and out to Angel’s car. Once they arrived at Angel’s place and he gave her the short version of the tour, she ordered him into the shower and he obeyed, knowing that he was too tired to argue with Buffy. After a long, hot shower he climbed into some clean boxers and climbed under the neatly folded back covers. He lay there, staring up at the ceiling, brooding. His thoughts were interrupted when Buffy brought him a cup of tea, “I thought you might like some tea before you went to sleep. It always helps me unwind.”

He took it and smiled, “Thanks.”

She sat on the edge of the bed and watched him take long drags off of it before setting it on the nightstand.

“Well, everything looks to be in order here, so I’m just gonna go. Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite,” she got up to go, but Angel caught her hand.

“Will---will you stay with me?”

She looked at him, slightly confused, but slid off her shoes and climbed under the covers. She snuggled close to him and he draped an arm over her side. She let her feeling of contentment wash over her and felt Angel relax against her.

“Buffy?”

“Hmm,” sighed.

“Do you trust me?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“Just something that has been bugging me. Andrew said…”

“You’re basing my feelings about you on something Andrew said. Oh, Angel. Come on now.”

“You’re right.”

He kissed her neck softly and closed his eyes. It was obvious that this wouldn’t last forever, but for now, they could have this moment. Buffy closed her eyes heard Angel whisper her name as she drifted off.

Buffy woke around 5 p.m. the next day in the same exact position she had been the night before. She turned to face Angel and watched him sleep. He already looked better and she smiled as she watched him. He mumbled her name and pulled her closer to his body. Her flight was in an hour and she knew that Willow and Xander were probably trying to get a hold of her. She kissed his forehead gently and whispered, “I love you,” as she got up and put her shoes on. She left him a note and quietly slipped out.

Angel woke several hours later to an empty bed. He rolled over and smiled to himself. He felt her go, but he knew waking up and making a big to-do about it wouldn’t make any difference so he had let her go. He knew she would be back; she always came back. He got up and took her note from the table.

“Angel-

Thanks for the nap. I’ll let you know when the timer goes off.

Love,

Buffy”

He smiled and looked around his home. It felt emptier without her presence. He had lost too many people he loved in his life, and he wasn’t ever going to lose another one, no matter what it took. Angel walked back over to his bed and lay back down, turning his face into the pillow and breathing deeply where her scent still lingered. She was his past, present and future. Always had been, always will be. He smiled as he drifted off into another dream of his love.

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