"Buffy!" Riley exclaimed. "Wait up." He ran across campus like the hugest geek to walk the earth as he tried to catch up to Buffy, who was quickening her pace in an attempt to avoid him.

Ever since his spiel the other day about her teaching him stuff, he'd been hanging all over her. It was getting quite annoying.

"Whoa, Buffy. Didn't you hear me?" Riley asked nasally when he finally caught up to her.

Buffy played the innocent girl. "Oh, no, sorry, Riley. Guess I was just thinking heavily about something."

*/Sure you were, Buffy. Thinking heavily about the best way to kill him, weren't you? Oh wait, that's what I was thinking.*/

"Oh, sure. I understand." Riley took a deep breath. "Ok, so, um, I wanted to ask you something."

When he didn't continue, Buffy replied, "You're gonna have to ask it, you know. Otherwise I can't give you answer."

"Oh, right," he said stupidly. "Sorry, I had this whole conversation planned out. I'm such an idiot!"

*/ No argument there, Fish Boy.*/

Buffy laughed. "Just ask it, Riley. I've got places to go, people to see...."

"Yeah. Ok, so here goes." He paused for an eternity before continuing. "Will you do me the honor of, um, of going on a-a date type thing?"

"A date type thing?" Buffy questioned.

*/That had to be the worst way to ask someone out, Riley! I thought you said you practiced these things. Not hard enough, obviously. Not that I'm complaining. The lamer you sound, the less chance there is Buffy will say yes.*/

"Yeah. Me and you. Doing date type things. Dinner or something," Riley said, fumbling to remember the suave thing he had done while practicing in front of his mirror a few minutes earlier.

Buffy hesitated before answering. Of course she didn't want to go on a date with him. But she knew how rejection tasted. She couldn't possibly do that to a nice guy like Riley.

*/Why the heck not? He's a bumbling idiot. He puts Gilligan to shame. Think of Angel, Buffy! And say no!!*/

"Look, Riley. I think you're really nice and everything....." Buffy began.

"Uh-oh, here it comes. The big dump-o," Riley said sadly.

Buffy's heart broke when she saw him slump his shoulders in sorrow. "So that's why I would be glad to go out with you," she concluded.

*/NO!! NO!! NO!! GRRRR ARGHHH!!! Buffy- you're way too nice! Dump the loser and catch the next train to LA.*/

"Really?" Riley's face brightened. "I mean, REALLY??!!!"

Buffy smiled. "Yeah. Sure, why not? But, don't expect this to be a whole 'going steady' type thing. I'm so not ready for that. It's just one date. One friendly date, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure, whatever you say. So, is tonight too soon?" Riley asked enthusiastically.

Buffy groaned inwardly. He didn't hear a word she just said, did he? "Um, no, tonight is great, Riley." Better to get over with it, Buffy reasoned.

"Awesome! Well, I better go get ready," he cried.

"Riley! It's only noon. You have hours," Buffy exclaimed.

"Yeah, but I have a whole night of conversation to plan," Riley said, waving and running off.

"Of course, how silly of me to forget that you must plan every word you say to me," Buffy said, just realizing what she had promised to do.

*/I told you to say no, but does ANYONE ever listen to the fic writer? Noooooo. Maybe you should start. If you did, I'd have you and Angel on a kitchen table in no time!*/

**********************************

"Where are we going, Riley?" Buffy asked for the 14th time. They were in Riley's jeep and they had been driving forever.

Riley grinned and said, "You'll see. We've almost done our one hour and fourteen minutes of driving around in romantic locales. I'd say in about 12 minutes we'll be at our destination.

"Great," Buffy chirped, inwardly trying to keep from screaming.

Exactly twelve minutes later, Riley pulled into the parking lot of a dilapidated old building.

"What the heck is this hole?" Buffy asked, horrified that she might be spending the rest of her evening in this dump.

"It's a karaoke bar, Buffy! Surprise! Isn't it neat? I read about it on the campus bulletin board. This is the happening place to be," Riley said, grinning idiotically.

"Then why are there only four cars here?" Buffy asked, wrinkling her nose at the smell of urine mixed with cigarette smoke.

"Well, no one really knows about it yet. But I promise, by the time we come again, this parking lot will be packed!" Riley said, grabbing her head.

*/By the time you go anywhere with her again, Riley, hell will have frozen over, worms will have ears, pigs will be flying.....and this fic writer will stop bashing you. So I guess you can count on never seeing Buffy again.*/

Buffy groaned softly as she was pulled into the old building. Inside, a total of six people were sitting around dirty tables that were in desperate need of some varnish. A bartender was behind the bar, trying to smush a bug, it looked like. Buffy shivered. Riley noticed and put his arm around her.

"Isn't this great?" he asked.

"Peachy," was Buffy's answer. "But why is no one karaoke-ing? It's like dead silent. I feel like I should be whispering," she said as people started gazing over at them.

"The party just hasn't gotten started. But I have an idea. Sit," he instructed. Buffy did so and Riley went over to the manager and whispered something in his ear. The manager smiled and nodded.

Next thing Buffy knew, Riley was going up on stage and Buffy started to get a horrifying feeling.

"Baby, I'm so into you. You got that something, what can I do?

Baby, you'll spin me around, the earth is moving, but I can't feel the ground.

Every time you look at me, my heart is jumping, it's easy to see....

Loving you means so much more, more than anything I ever felt before!" Riley sang to the way overplayed Britney Spears song.

Buffy shrunk back in her seat, but could feel the stares of nearly all six of the customers. Buffy was practically on the floor by the time Riley got to the chorus.

"You drive me crazy! I just can't sleep.

I'm so excited, I'm in too deep

Oh, oh, crazy, but it feels alright,

Baby thinking of you keeps me up all night!"

Buffy couldn't take it anymore.

*/And neither can we, hon! PLEASE do something to end this horrible nightmare!!*/

She rushed up onstage and grabbed the microphone out of Riley's hands. She grabbed his hands and hissed, "Take me home right now!"

Riley looked confused but followed Buffy's command.

A little while later, they arrived back at campus. Riley walked Buffy to her room. They stood outside of it and Riley finally said something.

"Was it my voice? I know it can't compare to Britney Spears, but I wanted to sing something from my heart," Riley said, looking pathetic.

"Look, Riley. This just isn't going to work ok? I figured I'd be nice and see how a date with you would be, and to be honest....it totally blew! So, I say we part ways now and try to maintain some sort of friendship," Buffy said.

Riley looked crushed. Then he brightened and said, "I know what you're doing Buffy. Parker told us all how you like to play hard-to-get. Well, I can play the game as well as anyone else. I guess I'm just going to have to come around a lot more."

Buffy got a look of complete horror and rushed into her room. Riley stood there dumb-founded as Buffy's scream echoed out into the corridor.

"I'll get her someday. She just doesn't want to admit that she's wildly attracted to me," Riley said, full of arrogance. He walked away jauntily, convinced that Buffy was as good as his. "After all," he reasoned, "who could ever turn down someone as handsome and brilliant as I?"

*/::Raises hand:: ME!! And probably everyone reading this Riley! So just go away. Don't make me write any more of these fics that completely demean and belittle you. No, wait, I like writing smack about you. You make it sooooo easy!*/

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