DISCLAIMER: Whatever...
TIMELINE: Immediately following the end of Season 4/AtS Season 1
SPOILERS: Based on spoilers/rumors I've heard regarding next season.
SYNOPSIS: Buffy's not human anymore. What does that mean for Angel? From his POV.
DISTRIBUTION: The usual suspects. Anybody else, please ask! :)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Could it possibly be? Could there be some hope in the future for Buffy and Angel??? Fluff without much by way of Plot.
FEEDBACK: Pretty Please, with Angelus on top. *grin*
RATING: PG?
DEDICATION: To my beloved Babble Boarders: redactor, Ria, Rose, rosi, SealedNFate, Carrie, MelonCollie, Leisa, Victoria K, Yana, Friday, Bindi, and all the rest! :) You guys RULE!

She's been sleeping for four hours. I keep thinking maybe I should wake her... won't Riley be worried? Or at least, Giles?

Buffy had been crying so hard when she first arrived, she could barely breath. And the condition of her eyes told me she had been at it for a while. She didn't tell me what was wrong; she just slumped forward against me and clutched me in her arms as her little frame shook with sobs.

I didn't ask. I didn't hesitate or stop to think. I only did what my entire being compelled me to do, and wrapped my arms around her, leading her over to sit down on the couch.

She cried for two hours, without a word. And in the end, she just collapsed against me, unconscious. Whatever had been going on, it had sucked her dry.

After I tucked her into my bed, I left the room. I couldn't bear to stand or sit so close to her, and not feel the almost uncontrollable urge to touch her... to kiss her... to climb into bed beside her and take her in my arms, feeling her warm body huddle against me as though I were the only place where she would truly find comfort...

But, no. Something had driven her here, to me, and I was glad. I thought of Riley, and the decision to leave the room became solid. She needed sanctuary, not more confusion. I let her sleep, and called Cordelia.

After asking her to cancel my appointment for that night (with David Nebbitt -- nothing that couldn't wait a couple of days.), I call the 24 -hour grocery up the street. I wasn't sure what Buffy might be hungry for when she woke, so I ordered one of everything I could remember her enjoying, and had it delivered.

I put the groceries away slowly, to pass the time. It was unreal, like the abstraction of a dream, putting the gallon of whole milk next to the rack of fresh blood bags. I loaded the freezer with steaks, frozen pizzas, and cookie dough fudge mint chip ice cream. I packed cans of soup, green beans, corn and carrots in the mostly empty cupboard. I'd gotten three cases of soda. Diet Pepsi, 7UP, and grape. Potato Chips, Cheetos and Tortilla chips (the blue kind), salsa and cheese, fresh vegetables for salad. More food than I'd ever had in my home but once before.

Three large chocolate bars and an industrial sized jar of chunky peanut butter.

What was I doing? I was setting up house... nesting, for chrissake, and I didn't even have any idea why she was there or how long she would stay. But I did know the pain in her... her heart was broken, once again, and despair hung over her like a dark storm cloud. I could smell terror... rushing disappointment, defeat. I could taste her confusion. And I would do anything - say anything, to make all of that go away for her.

I made tea, and let her sleep.

After the fifth hour, she stopped twitching, stopped crying. Buffy was utterly still, like a dead thing. I broke my own rule and went to her, checking for breath and heartbeat. Strong. Even. Fine.. She was simply asleep.

I started to panic. What had happened to her? I assumed, at first, maybe a breakup with Riley or something... But why wouldn't she first turn to Willow, or even Xander? Anyone but me?

I looked tenderly down at her. Maybe they'd turned her away. Or maybe she really did come to the only place where she knew in her heart she would be safe, and no judgement would ever be passed on her.

I kind of hoped it was the latter. But in order to know what she needed, I had to know the truth. I called Giles.

"Oh, thank GOD. Is she alright?" the ex-Watcher asked me. For a moment, I wasn't certain how to answer.

"She's pretty upset," I reported, "But other than that, she seems fine."

He sighed deeply. "Good. Good. Did she tell you what was happening, then?"

"No," I admitted.

"Ah. Well," Giles said, probably hesitant to tell me something that Buffy had obviously chosen not to, "There have been... some changes. I should leave that for her to tell you."

I understood. It was as I expected. "Alright. But tell me... is there anything special she needs? Anything I should do?"

Another moment's hesitation, "Be there, Angel. And pray for her."

He hung up. It was the most frightening thing I'd ever experienced. I tossed my mental list of rules out the window, and went to sit in the chair beside the bed.

Buffy was already awake, her wide green eyes locked on me as I moved down to eye level with her.

"What did he tell you?" she asked, uncertain if she should be angry.

I drank her in with my eyes. My god, she was beautiful. Puffy and red and so alive... I felt suddenly warm to the core, as I hadn't been in.... months.

"Nothing. He said it was up to you to decide what to tell me."

She seemed almost startled by that, as though she somehow didn't deserve to be treated like an adult.

"Oh. Okay," she said softly.

I leaned close to her, "So, what do you want to tell me?"

Buffy blinked. "I... don't... know," she said, forcing the words out as though she were suddenly finding it difficult to speak. It only lasted a moment, because her next words were clear, strong, and sure, "I'm not human anymore."

Now it was my turn to be surprised. "Pardon me?"

She sniffled forlornly, looking for all the world like a lost little girl, "Giles says I'm 'evolving'. Tara calls it... you're gonna love this: Ascension. I'm ascending to a higher plain of being. I'm not Homo sapiens sapiens anymore. Maybe not even a mammal."

I looked seriously at her. "You're still warm blooded." It was a defensive joke. She chuckled.

"Thanks," she said.

I sat back in the chair, my head spinning. "I don't think I understand what you're saying."

"Join the club," she lamented.

I closed my eyes, hoping that if I wasn't so distracted by looking at her, I could touch her with my other senses, and somehow figure out what was going on.

Trying to reach for her soul, her life force, hurt. Her aura burned me from the inside, like the sun might my skin. Or...

"My god," I gasped, "You're... holy. A blessed thing..."

It hurt to say it. The implications shattered me.

Buffy shrugged nonchalantly, as though I'd complimented her sweater.

"I guess," she agreed.

I grabbed her and pulled her to me, capturing her lips with mine. It was like being struck by lightning. Her lips burned me where they touched me.

Buffy's eyes were wide, horrified, as I jerked from her grasp.

"I... I don't... I don't understand," I stuttered.

"No. Angel... don't be afraid," she said softly, almost smiling, "I won't ever hurt you."

A taste like sugar clung to my burned lips.

"Immortality..." I thought aloud.

Her smile grew, "21 forever. Cool, huh?"

I sat toward her once again, slowly. Tentatively, I reached out a hand to breach the strong barrier of light between us. I blocked out the pain, fed it to the darkness of my soul, until I found her, inside. Still Buffy. Still the other half of me.

I gathered her in my arms. I felt the deep wounds in me healing at her touch... the guilt, like chains around my soul, slipped away, and left no feeling but pure bliss inside me.

"I'm here to give you your reward," she said ceremoniously, "I should've started with that, but... you know... heat of the moment and everything."

"You're an angel..." I whispered in wonder. The Powers had sent her to confirm I was forgiven. The wish granted by the wish herself.

"You can be human now, too," she added.

The thought staggered me. But a moment later, I realized the catch.

"But you won't be," I said.

She smiled sadly and shook her beautiful head, "Nope. All that human stuff? Ancient history, for me."

My hear broke for her. "I'm sorry, Buffy." I meant it. I mourned for the normal life I so wanted her to have... that I knew she dreamed of.

Buffy said nothing, but put her arm around me and pulled me down so my head rested against her heart, as if I had come to her for comfort, instead of vice versa. Maybe I had drawn her there when I most needed her.

"Don't be," she whispered, "We can be together, now, even if you're human."

My heart rejoiced, but I shook my head.

"No. If you're going to have an eternity, I want to be around for all of it."

She kissed the top of my head. "I was hoping you would say that," she said.

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