Feedback: feed the hungry :)
Distibution: Take it.Just let me know where it goes.
Timeline: Mmh..Hard question, because I don't know it :) Okey, there isn't Riley.Buffy had dated some other guys.I think.I just wrote it, why should I know? *lol* Oh, and she also still live in her mom's house.Or maybe there is just a summer vacation..Okey, I'm off.
Thanks and dedicated: To Tina, my beta, who made it all all right and showed me which sentenced were little off and correct all my verb- tenses.Thank you :)
Author's note: The name of the story is from Nightwish's song title. Song list:
Him: Resurection
The 69 Eyes: Brandon Lee
Sentenced: The sun won't shine
Stratovarius: Before the winter
Entwine: Closer [ my love]
Entwine: New Dawn
Sarah McLachlan: Strange World

/ There was a time
When I could breath my life into you
One by one
Your pale fingers started to move
And I touched your face
And all life was erased
You smiled like an angel
(fallen from grace) \\

She was disappointed.

She just sat in her darkened room as night fell.

Yesterday her life crashed down to the ground. Again.

And again it was all for a some stupid guy who had pretended to be Mr. Nice Guy and then cheated on her right under her nose, not even caring about how it would hurt her.

"Hey, it was just a game, lil girl! ", he had said and laughed with the new girl at his side.

She sighed. Why hadn't she seen through him in the first place? Why did she always fall for the wrong guys?

There was one perfect man. She smiled weakly. Yep, there truly was one almost perfect one. No one was perfect, but this guy almost was.

She rose from her bed and walked to the window. Oh, so many happy memories came to mind, but they filled her with misery...

// what would there be as the river
of sadness turn into sea
could there be anothor thousand
stories like you and me \\

She sighed ponderously. Buffy opened the window and breathed the cool air of the late summer's night. The shadows of the trees reflected long and menacing on the lonely street.

She could almost see someone lurking there, watching her.

She closed her eyes. The Slayer let all her memories guard her in the Forest of Past.

~* " You still my girl? ", he had asked, not daring to make eye contact with her. His voice was full of shame.

" Always.", she had replied and watched over her shoulder with understanding, but weak smile. And that promise she could never break. *~

Since that day, she knew nothing would ever be the same again. It couldn't be.

She unlocked her closet and took a book from it.

The book had arrived for her on her 20th birthday. There no card, but she knew who it was from. The cover was color of silver and there wasn't any title on it.

There wasn't any writing beside a little thought in first page.It was a diary.

~* " My diary? You read my diary? That is *not* okay! A diary is like a person's most private place! I... You don't even know what I was writing about! 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And, and when it says that your eyes are 'penetrating', I meant to write 'bulging'. " *~

She grinned to that memory.It was so embarrasing then, but now..It was one of her happiest memories.

She opened the diary.

" Don't left your life pass you by, weep not for the memories..."

The orderly handwriting was the only thing there to read.

He still remembered her like she remembered him. Always.

She opened the book again and the papers of the diary felt like silk under her fingers. She hadn't written anything in it, yet. She couldn't do that. She still wept for the memories.

~* " This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after."

" No. When you kiss me I wanna die." *~

She sighed deeply. Just one kiss, and she still wanted to die for it.

Buffy put the diary again back in its place and climbed out of her window. She sat on the roof, looking at the shadowy world around her.

She saw a old couple walking down the street, hand in hand. They didn't say anything, but Buffy sensed their togetherness.

Like many other girls, she had a dream of finding a man with whom she could spend her lifetime. And that was the fairy tale which Angel was talked about.

She had found her true love, even if she was so young then...

~*" What? What do you think is happening? "

" You're sixteen years old. I'm two hundred and forty-one."

" I've done the math."

" You don't know what you're doing, you don't know what you want..."

*~

She knew.

As she watched the old couple, she smiled slightly.

~* "What you know about this? You never gonna die! " *~

She closed her eyes as the wind caressed her face with silky hands. On a night like this, she could almost imagine that all was just nightmare and she would wake up to the fairy tale where everything was fine.

*

He watched the city. L.A was full of life and night was full of fear. People hurried from place to place with empty eyes. Night was a time of loneliness, a time to escape.

// The candles have been blown out by the wind
don't be scared, my love, I'm right by your side
I still remember the times I walked alone...dead
until you woke me up and made me come alive
With her love she feeds the fire in my heart
And in her eyes, oh the birth of stars
The sun won't shine on me without your love
...don't you know
The cold wind kills the flame in my heart
...by its blow \\

But there was hope. There was one who protected the city with his unnatural skills.

The souled vampire took an unnecessary breath.

The stars shone in the velvet sky. The wind blew like it hadn't blown before.

It was like heaven on Earth. So beautiful, so pure. Still, its glory didn't affect the man who watched it.

He had lied when he was said that nothing was wrong, but how he could he say anything else?

~ " Don't be embarrassed. We're family." ~

He smiled briefly at Cordelia's sincere words. He knew that he could trust the people around him. And he did trust them, but sometimes there were things you couldn't tell to your dear ones.

You have to be alone in a moment. With memories.

// Before the summer turns to winter, before the dreams will turn to snow.
I see the yellow leaves are falling and soon I know I have to go.
But I'll be back before the summer, next year you're in my arms again.
The winter breeze will send my message, it will keep you warm until then.
The path to home is long and winding.
I'll keep the flame alive for you until I am back.
You and I will walk that road together,
I'll show that all the dreams are true if you only let them be before the winter. \\

Winter had come to his unbeating heart. Summer had covered it for a while, but it had gone away and winter had come back again.

Dreams..Nothing really happened unless first a dream.

Dreams made reality painful to handle, but we all handled it. There isn't other way.

" Angel? ", Cordelia asked from behind him.

" Just go home.", he said without turning to face her.

" Are you okay? "

" Everything is done for today. Go somewhere, meet people."

She raised her eyebrows. Cordelia didn't buy it, but she knew Angel and respected him. There were days when she knew she'd better leave him alone when he asked it.

" Okey dokey. I see you tomorrow." She said and turned to leave. She looked back over her shoulder at him. " Just call me, if you want to talk. Don't be ashamed about it." She said and walked away.

His eyes were filled with worry when he looked down on the city. She was so far away. Is she okay? Is she happy?

Had she found someone new?

Is she even alive?

Even though he was the one who had said that they had to go on with their lives, he still missed her and the thought that she had someone else by her side almost killed him.

He was tired. Yesterday they had fought with a couple of powerful demons.

He walked away from the balcony, Buffy's face in his mind.

Always they have a possibly to dream...

// Too many tears for the end
Darling please don't you cry
You hold your breath
You try to hide your pain
Here in my embrace
So this pain would be gone
Fly without sorrow
In my dreams we meet again
For you I live I would die for
You'll stay deep inside my heart \\

She was in middle of mist. She couldn't even see her hands. Then, suddenly, everything was gone and she was in cemetery in middle of the night with the moon shining above

" Buffy? ", a voice said and her heart started beating wildly.

" Angel? ", she asked, strange echo within her voice.

He smiled and looked around. " Why we are here? "

She shrugged. " I don't know why I am here, maybe I'm patrolling, but what you do in Sunnydale? "

" I'm in L.A. This is just a dream. Maybe I should go..."

// You said that you should be gone
Out of this place you don't belong
You said you might find the reason
Why we're so unforgiving
You said you'll try to make a new dawn
I know how hard it is to let go
Maybe we find the reason why we lie \\

" No ", she whispered and took a step closer to him.

The moment was special and speaking too loudly could break it.

" No, don't go. You are here. Just this moment... Don't go...", Buffy said and put her hand in his cheek. " Don't go.", she said and rose up on her toe to kiss him. He returned it, but when it grew more passionate, he pulled away from her.

" This is just a dream.", he said without looking into her eyes.

" Yes, but it feels so true."

" Just a dream, Buffy"

She shot him a look. " Does that really matter? "

He gave her a thoughtful glance.

She smiled experimentally to him and took his hand in hers. " I've been missed you, Angel.", she sniffed." It's like..."

" I know."

Silence lay between them. There was no needs for words. Just looking at each other said it all.

" Kiss me.", she finally asked and she didn't need to ask second time.

After a long and yearning kiss, Buffy smiled to him. "And now we can talk."

The mist turned into a shelter for the two dreamers. It was their own world for just this one night of memories and dreams.

// It's a strange world
It's a very strange world that leaves me
Holding on to nothing when there's nothing left to lose
We're walking hand in hand, we'll walk this way forever
Our eyes have risen to the water's edge watching with the tides
The stars have fallen to another day and the sun warms our path to
Find the reasons leave us far behind in our strange world \\

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