*Disclaimer* I am sad to admit that I do not own Buffy
or Angel, or anything involving them. Joss and company
does. I wish I did, but ::sigh:: I don't.
Spoilers: Um, well definitely up to Becoming Part 2,
after that I kinda go into my own world.
Rating: Can ya watch the show? Well you can read this
then.
Synopsis: Read and find out. :o)
Author's Note: Please send feedback. Please, if you do
I'd love you to death! Also this is my ending (I guess
that's what you could call it) to season two. Also
don't worry there might be a little angst in the
beginning but it will get better! Trust me. :o)
Part 1
There I sat, in this dark dull apartment. Carry out boxes along with dirty laundry, and then a few knick knacks littering my floor. The rain beating on my window in a steady rhythm, the outside world going on as if nothing had ever happened. But I knew different. I knew all to well what went on in this world.
I had not seen anyone in over a month I had run away. I could not face them; hear their pity, I did not want that. What would pity do? It would not bring him back; no it would do no good. And their questions, all those questions I would have to face and answer. And it wasn't like I had a home to go to anyways, I had no home; my own mother had kicked me out, she didn't grasp the concept of being a slayer and the duties it comes with. I had not wished to become a slayer; I did not wish for all that responsibility, for all that fear, and solitude. The loneliness was unbearable at times, no one could ever truly understand me, they never would, but he did, he knew, he understood.
Angel, he was the only good thing being a slayer had gotten me. He was the light in my dark life; he was my one hold to normalcy. He was my Angel, his name fitted perfectly. The one man that knew what I was and what I was going through. The memories sweeping through my head, all that we had gone through, and then that perfect night. Running away from the Judge, Spike, and Drusilla, we had run back to his apartment. It was my birthday; he had told me he loved me. I had felt the same way I loved this man even more than I can even really comprehend. We made love that night, the experience I would never forget it was wonderful. Then he changed. He was not my Angel he was a monster. He tormented me and my family and friends. He killed Ms. Calendar, but I couldn't kill him. He wore the face of my love. I finally had to; I was ready to make this sacrifice, I needed to stop him from sending the world to Hell. So instead I was going to send him to Hell. The spell, Willow had tried the spell again but it worked. My love, he had returned; but he had returned to late. The vortex to Hell was opening, I told him I loved him and I kissed him and then I sent him to Hell. I had sent my Angel, my love, my life to Hell.
All this was just too much for me to handle I could not deal and so here I am in this dump of an apartment, sitting here withering away my youth. Sitting so still you could hear the silence, it was a strange sound, almost a buzzing sound, interrupted only when a car drove by, or by children playing in puddles, water flying everywhere as they walked down the sidewalks of L.A. It was funny this was my home, I had grown up here, and yet it felt so new, so different, and cold. Of course nowhere would be home, home was in Angel's arms, as he soothingly told me everything would be alright, or on our patrolling dates. Home was in his sweet and passionate kisses, in his deep brown soulful eyes. Home was where Angel was. I would never be home without him.
My stomach growled pulling me out of my reverie. There sat a cold slice of pizza from the night before, so I picked it up from the floor where it sat in a box and began to mindlessly chew. I flopped backwards onto the bed, my eyes beginning to close. Sleep I learned was a place to fight. There was peace in my sleep, I had dreams, Angel was in them, things were like they used to be, and I would then wake up to find me here in this dank room, with my Angel in Hell. I knew I couldn't go on living the way I was, but at that moment I had no real reason not to.
I turned and looked out my window and noticed the sun creeping ever slowly down, as the darkness rose. Another day passed by, as I was not looking. I lazily got out of my bed fixed my muddled hair and stumbled around the room looking for my shoes. Finally finding them, I reached onto the table and grabbed my keys, locked the door, and then headed into the night. I worked at a bar, the pay wasn't too good, but it paid the rent, and I had just enough money left over to buy my carry out.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Lately I had began to feel sick, I had been throwing up a lot, which was weird because I never got sick, and I was gaining weight. Sure all I did was eat and sleep, and work but it just didn't make sense. I wished I had Giles here to tell me what was going on, was this one of my perks for being a slayer? And I wanted Willow, I had so much to tell her, and I just really wanted to hear her voice again, she was such a great friend. Even Xander, I missed his stupid comments and behavior, that was what made him Xander. Oz, well I didn't really no him, but Willow liked him, and he seemed pretty cool. Cordelia well, I just wasn't going to think about her. My mom, would she ever forgive me? I didn't mean to be a slayer; I just wanted to be normal. I missed them all so much, I had tried to call, but I always hung up before anyone could answer the phone, my fears got the best of me. What would I do if they hated me, not that I blamed them; I just wouldn't know what to do. So I continued to live whatever kind of life I was living.
I had been walking home, it was pretty early in the morning it was very calm; the calm before the storm calm; and for once I couldn't wait to get home, I had been feeling dizzy all night, but I couldn't leave, it was a mad house at the bar, so I stayed. Unfortunately I never made it home. I had passed out, when I woke up I was lying in a hospital bed, a nurse shuffling around through my room setting my food down on the table in my room, making sure everything was in order, when she noticed I was up. She asked how I was doing; she had found me yesterday on her way from the hospital. She brought me back to here. Her name was Sophia. We talked a little while waiting for the doctor to come in with my vitals, as she would say. I found out that like me she came to be in this town because of running away. She was pregnant, her parents did not approve of this, and so she was out of the house. I was not pregnant, but I was kicked out of the house.
The doctor came in; the look on her face was calm, silent, and rigid. She had told me that I was going to be a mother; I had a healthy little life growing inside me. I had so many questions to ask my mind was exploding. Who was the father, what was I going to tell my family, my friends? What was I going to do; my life style did not really have room to include a new life. But I was silent, my whole life revolved around silence. I was dismissed, but where was I going to go? Home? I sat on the bench outside the hospital; I was not sure for how long. Sophia came out, and saw me sitting there, she came over to me concern sketched across her face. She asked if I had a place to go, but I didn't answer, I was not even sure on all of what she said, I was still in a state of shock from hearing I was a mother, the only person I had ever made love to was Angel but he was a vampire, he couldn't have children.
Sophia grabbed me by the arms and lead me to her car, we drove to what I presumed was her house; she took me in and led me to a room. It was much nicer then mine. Clean sheets, and a nice light blue rug on the floor, she left a nice fluffy robe and a big puffy towel saying something about a bathroom was down the hall. I think I had taken a shower, my body was in a trance, I had been for quite some time and I wasn't sure when or if I would ever really come out of my trance. I had a life, a helpless pure little life growing inside me. I was going to be a mother. I was only seventeen, what kind of mother would I be, I had no husband, I didn't even have a boyfriend, he was stuck in Hell, because of me. I did not deserve this nice women's charity, what have I ever done to deserve it? Yet, there she was offering her house to me.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A couple of months had passed I had gotten to know Sophia, my time her with her was wonderful. She had made sure I went to doctors appointments, she helped me get my life back, I had a job and not a minimum wage job a real job, she was the kindest women I had ever known, she reminded me of Willow in so many ways, I missed my Scooby gang so much, more and more each day. I was ready to go back to Sunnydale, I had to, and it was like a little voice inside me almost beckoning me to Sunnydale. I think Sophia sensed that my time with her was drawing to an end. I came home from work, to see a suitcase a brown little bear and a note.
Buffy,
I am sad to see you go, but I think we both know that your place is not here, but with your friends and family, in Sunnydale. I am sorry that I could not be here to see you off, but I cannot stand goodbyes. I look forward to hearing from you, and I hope that we can still stay close friends.
Sincerely Yours,
~Sophia
P.S.- I figured your little baby would need something to protect him/her from the outside evils, so I bought the bear I saw you looking at in the window. I hope you don't mind.
Buffy could not believe how true that last statement was. She went upstairs, taking once last look at her room, before sitting down to write Sophia, her new friend.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Part 2
The bus ride back to Sunnydale was not nearly as painful as the ride out of it. She still missed Angel with all her mind and soul, but she now had purpose in the world. Her child was expected in less than a week. She still had no idea what to name her child either. She didn't even know if her child was a boy or girl. She wanted the sex of her child to be a surprise.
Once in Sunnydale, I began to become unsure of myself. I couldn't go home, what would my mom say, I couldn't go to Willow's that would be to easy for my mom to find me, and I wasn't even sure how Willow would react. Xander never liked Angel, and so going to his house would be out of the question. I couldn't explain it but I knew it was Angel's I didn't know how but it was his. Going to Giles, I would have to listen to long lectures, and then answer all to painful questions, so I couldn't go there. The only place left was Angel's. I went to the apartment. That was the best night my life. So I went to that all too familiar place.
It was the middle of the night; I woke up to a piercing pain. It felt as if my body was trying to turn itself inside out. There was a pool of liquid around me I was in labor. I had to get to a hospital and fast. I painfully reached over to grab the phone, a little bit later the ambulance was at the door taking me to the hospital. There were so many questions the staff was asking me, I was in so much pain I couldn't answer them straight, just mumbling things here and there.
Delivery was the worst and the best thing I had experienced; the pain at times was so strong I was not sure I could go on. It was a long and tedious birth, but at 1:07 the doctors announced that I had a healthy baby girl. I had a girl, my very own little baby, the only thing that could have made this moment any better was if my Angel was standing here looking at the little bundle of joy with me, picking out a name. But he was not, I was alone with this new life, this new energy, it was amazing. She was so small, so pure. Just an innocent I would do everything in my power to protect her, to keep her out of harm's way.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I was going to be released tonight, my baby too. My baby, I had a baby. It was wonderful and nerve-wracking all at the same time. I needed a name for my baby. That's when it hit me, I was proud to announce that my little girl Abigail Sophia Summers was healthy and leaving with me tonight. My Abby, her name fit perfectly, because she gave me so much joy. I was happy. I sat in my room, watching as Abby kicked her tiny little feet as I tickled them. I could not get over how small she was, her hands, her legs, her feet, her body it was tiny. She was so beautiful, her hair, or what she had of it was blonde and formed little waves. Her nose was so cute; it was a tiny little nose, a sort of mixture of Angel's and mine, her hazel eyes so big and innocent. I could not have asked for a child any better then her. She let out a little yawn, that's when I realized it was night, and I had no place to go, no one knew I was here. As if God had answered my thoughts a nurse knocked softly on my door saying there was a gentleman waiting outside to see me.
They needed to take Abby in one last time for some last minute tests. This gave me time to see this gentleman waiting for me. Who was it? I hadn't told anyone I was here. I walked down the long corridor heading out to the main part of the hospital. I looked around; standing in the corner was a tall dark man. He hadn't lost his touch. But how was he here? How did he know I was here? Sensing my presence he walked towards me, as if a lion advancing towards its prey. I just stood. Once he had finished breaking the gap between us, he lifted my head with his fingers and planted a soft kiss on my lips. I had missed those lips all too much, those silky lips, his scent, his comfort. I wrapped my arms around him, and I think for the first time since he left, I broke down and cried. I cried and cried, I didn't think I could stop. He held me rubbing my back soothingly telling me all would be right.
I looked up tears running down my cheek, studying his face, his jaw, his eyes, everything. He wiped the tears away with the pads of his thumbs then took my hand and led me back to the maternity ward. We talked a little; he had said he was brought back from Hell because he was not fit for it. He was innocent. So they sent him back here. He had known I was here because he too went to the apartment. He saw the sheets, and the little bear and when he put the two together he figured that this was where I was. Our daughter was brought back into our room. Angel would finally see her. The look on his face was priceless. I had never seen him happier. I sat on the bed as Angel held little Abby in his arms, his strong arms. We left the hospital ready for our new beginning.
*~*~*~*~*~*
I turned the light on to the apartment, to find everything changed. The room was not dark but light; there was a small crib in our room for little Abby. There were more toys, and bottles, a changing table, everything. When had Angel bought all this stuff? I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss, I was so happy. Angel was back we were a family. My world was full complete nothing could go wrong.
There was some adjusting on all our parts, Angel was back but there was still his curse and he was a vampire, not that I minded though. And all those unresolved issues from when he went away. Also we had a little girl to raise, a cute and demanding girl to raise. She decided to make it hard on us, and would not pick a sleeping pattern, or would not sleep for over a couple hours before waking up demanding food or attention.
I was sitting on the floor watching as Abby lay on her back trying to eat her toes. Unfortunately she was not having any luck. It was such I cute site I needed to get a camera. Angel walked into the room carrying a basket of food, since we couldn't go outside for a picnic we were having one here in our own home. Abby decided that she wanted to join us and began to cry signaling that she was hungry. Before I could get up Angel went to get her bottle, bringing it back, lifting Abby in his arms and feeding her. It was such an intoxicating site, watching Angel feed little Abby, father and daughter.
I announced to my family later that night that we were running out of food, so I was going to head off to the grocery store. Angel being the dutiful husband offered to watch Abby. So I went off. We didn't need that much, mostly diapers and stuff for Abby. As I was nearing the counter, I ran into someone familiar, Willow; what were the odds of that. She was so surprised when she saw it was I. I don't think she recognized that it was I at first I looked older. Well she gave me a big hug crying, she was so glad I was back. I never expected her to forgive me, I ran away not telling anyone one, leaving them to have to take care of my duties. But there she was hugging me tightly by the check out counter. Well after awhile she let go slowly almost as if she was unsure that I would vanish once she had let go. That's when she noticed my groceries, some diapers, baby formula, and then food for me to eat, along with a parenting book I had found during my shopping.
I told her about Sophia, Abby and then Angel, at the end of my story I noticed that I had been crying and wiped the tears away. Willow was amazed, she couldn't believe all that I went through. She had asked if anyone else knew I was back, I told her no, and if she could not tell the others I was back too. I was not ready to see everyone yet; I needed just a little more time. She understood, and promised not to tell. She then asked hesitantly if she could see Abby and Angel. After thinking for a bit I decided do harm could come and loved to show off my adorable baby so I agreed and took her back to the apartment. As we entered I was greeted by Angel asleep on the couch with Abby on top of him asleep herself. It was so cute I went to the bedroom quietly so as not to wake them and grabbed the camera and began to snap pictures, after two or so Angel woke up. Looking up he smiled sheepishly saying he was singing to Abby trying to put her to sleep and he fell asleep with her. That's when he noticed Willow standing by the door. He was shocked to say the least; since I was always telling him I couldn't go see my friends or mom, whenever he suggested it. I explained how I ran into her at the grocery store and brought her back here. He got up holding Abby still asleep surprisingly and went to put her in the crib, then going to the kitchen to make tea for us to drink.
I offered to show Willow Abby, so we went to the bedroom. We stood there above her crib for a moment just looking at the little girl, watching her chest rise and fall with each breath she took. She was so peaceful. Her tiny little thumb stuck in her mouth and other hand clutching the little brown bear. Just as we were walking out Abby decided to announce her presence. I quickly walked back into the room and grabbed my crying baby, rubbing her back to calm her. After a few moments she was once again calm. Angel walked out of the kitchen bringing a bottle he had prepared with him, so I could feed Abby. Willow stood just watching the way we acted together. Willow and I went to the couch, Angel joined a little later, bringing out the tea. She had so many questions, as did I. It was early morning when she had left our apartment. I smiled sadly watching her leave; but knew that I could always call her, and that she would probably be over soon, she had fallen in love with Abby while here; not that I could blame her she was so cute.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Abby was six months today, Angel and I were celebrating. We had been together for six months. It was amazing; it had felt like only yesterday we had brought Abby home for the hospital. She had grown so much; she was still petit but she had grown remarkably. Her blond locks curling outwards as they grew. She was now crawling and crawling everywhere. She could stand by grabbing onto things like the chair legs and pulling herself up. She was also starting to babble, no real words came out of her mouth yet; just mindless little coos and gurgles, either way she was cute. She also loved bananas; Angel had gotten her into eating them, now she eats one at every meal.
We bought a little cake, and some party decorations. Willow would be over soon. I wished my mom could see her grandchild, but she had said never to come back. I had just dressed Abby in her little pink dress when there was a knock on my door. I yelled to Angel that I would get it, as I opened the door Willow stood, opening the door farther I saw more faces.
Xander, Giles, Oz, Cordelia and my mother stood outside my door, staring in shock at the little girl who was resting on top of my hip. Nervously I let them in, excusing myself to the kitchen where Angel was. Telling him about our extra company he made his way out of the kitchen with me. This got Xander started he was saying something about how I had a vicious murder living with me, and Giles agreeing. Willow was arguing back, good old Willow trying to defend me. My mother saying something about how Angel was crazy how I was crazy and asking about the little girl that rested on my hip still. All this was too much for Abby who had only really been with me and Angel occasionally Willow. She began to cry. This quieting the rest of the group thankfully, this also gave me an excuse to leave the room, if only temporarily.
Coming back in the room, everyone was acting much more like an adult. Angel sat in the chair looking very ill and nervous so I went to him, setting Abby in his lap, calming him down. I sat on the edge of the chair, Abby's little hand wrapped around my finger, her other hand playing with Angel's buttons on his shirt. Making little gurgling noises signaling she was content. The group watched on, finally realizing everything. This was Angel's and mine daughter. My mother did something completely unexpected; she came over to me, and wrapped her arms around me crying she had her baby back. She stepped back, and then shook Angel's hand; a gesture saying that she was okay with him. I got up and hugged her again I had my mother back. I asked if she wanted to hold her daughter. She eagerly said yes, Angel handed Abby to my mom. She stood there looking at the little girl for a moment. All was silent; she then said that she was the luckiest grandma because she had the cutest little granddaughter; Abby agreed and began to clap her hands together laughing. She asked what Abby's name was; I told her and the meaning of her name; gives joy.
Giles was next; he came over to me and hugged me; then shook hands with Angel. Angel looked down; he didn't deserve this man's forgiveness; he killed his girlfriend. He killed Jenny. Giles said it wasn't Angel but Angelus who killed her; so Angel had nothing to be sorry for. Oz stood next to Willow he hadn't really known us, so he really didn't say much just that we had a cute daughter. Cordelia well being Cordelia came over to me, and began to mumble something about my hair, and with some time she could fix it, and then began talking about my clothes I just smiled taking it as her acceptance to us. She then smiled at Abby saying that she was very adorable and if I ever needed someone to baby-sit; she would gladly do it shocking everyone in the room.
Xander, he was the only one who had not said anything, for a while. Everyone waited looking on; finally he broke out in a big grin saying to bring that cute little girl over to him. My mom who had been holding her brought Abby over. Xander sat down on the couch, and began to tickle Abby yelling he was the tickle monster; she squealed in delight and squirmed. After a few moments Angel got up excused himself then came back with the little cake we bought for Abby. Everyone wearing the party hats I insisted to be bought; except for Giles, Angel and Cordelia who said it would mess up her hair.
I was so happy, I had Angel, I had Abby, and I had my friends and family back. I don't think I could have ever gotten luckier. My world was full of joy I was whole again.
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