Rating: PG 15 (some swearing)
Spoilers: Probably, you've been warned just incase..
Timeline: Season Five, B/R Anniversary.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Buffy or Angel
Distribution: Take it, just please send me the address of the site.
Feedback: Greatly appreciated and wanted
Author's notes: Some mentions of stuff that had to do with the movie: 'Girl Interrupted.' Alsoit took me two days to make this, and I'm really proud of it. I put 1/? because I'm not surehow many parts there are..bear with me!

"It's understandable, I guess." Buffy said into the phone with a frown. She twirled the phonecord around her finger. "It's just that I was really looking forward to tonight." Buffy addedas she leant on her counter. "Tomorrow? Of course, I can't wait." Buffy said with a fake smileas she hung up the phone and sighed.

"Who was that?" Joyce asked as she turned from her chair at the table, cup of coffee on hand.

"Riley, he had to cancel for tonight, some military thing." Buffy said quietly as she lookedto her perfectly polished nails.

"But tonight's your anniversary isn't it? Oh honey." Joyce said as she went over to her daughterand pulled her into a hug.

"I'm fine mom, really, we'll just do the anniversary thing tomorrow, it'll be fine, honest."Buffy said as she hugged her mom back and pulled away. "Since my plans have been pretty much cleared for tonight, I'm going to head over to Giles, then patrol." Buffy said as she put onher black leather overcoat.

"See you tonight?" Joyce questioned from the table.

"Don't wait up." Buffy said simply as she turned and left.

* * *

"Me-ow, look at the Buffster, all gussied up." Xander said playfully as Buffy came in Giles' door. She was adorned in a peach silk gown, her lips and nails matched, as did her delicate shoes.

"Buffy?" Willow asked as she came in, "Aren't you supposed to be with Riley tonight?" Willow added with a confused look.

"Stuff came up, duties and all that jazz." Buffy said with a sigh as she plopped in betweenWillow and Xander on Giles' couch. "Where's Giles?" Buffy asked as she looked around..

"The G-man? Oh he just went out to get some supplies from the magic shop, should be back soon, why the urgency?" Xander asked as he noticed Buffy's frown.

"No reason, just felt like training, that's all." Buffy said simply as she got up again, andwalked around the room. "I feel antsy, wanna come on patrol?" Buffy asked the two with a smile. "Come on, it'll be just like old times." Buffy added. ~Except for the fact we're missing acouple of key members.~ Buffy thought unconsciously.

"Are you feeling okay Buffy?" Willow asked worriedly as she noticed her friends over-enthusiasm on patrolling.

"Yeah, usually you aren't so slay-happy, what gives?" Xander asked as he turned to her, voicingWillow's thoughts for her.

"Nothing! Can't a girl be happy about slaying?" Buffy asked as she put her hands up, aggravated.

"The last girl that 'just wanted to have fun slaying' almost killed us all, see our worry?"Xander said emphatically.

"Don't worry, I wont go all Faith on you guys, I just want to patrol tonight, you coming withor not?" Buffy asked, relaxing a bit.

"Can't, Gotta book it to Anya's soon, she seems to think we haven't been bonding enough lately." Xander said as he put the book he was 'purrousing' down and got up, "Infact, I should probably head over there now." Xander added as he looked at his taz-watch. He nodded in their directions, Buffy waved, Willow nodded back.

"You coming Will?" Buffy asked eagerly to her friend as Xander left.

"Sorry, I have to hold the fort until Giles gets back, and even then I have to help him withthis spell.." Willow trailed off with a frown.

"It's okay, I'll just go by myself, I'm a big girl." Buffy said with a fake smile as she headedout the door. She had really wanted company tonight, she sighed again.

* * *

Buffy walked through the lonely streets of Sunnydale, looking like a queen, packing some majorpain-inducing ammo. That was all part of the Buffy package. She hummed a tune that had been inside of her head all day and night, for some reason, it wouldn't get out of her head.

//You don't know me, you know you never will. Can't see inside me, lost out on the thrill.//

Buffy hummed along as she walked down the streets in the direction of the graveyard, she unconsciously put her hand to the right side of her neck, rubbing it. She had been doing this a lot lately, ever since she had been bitten last.

//Don't look back, Don't look back..//

Suddenly a fist found it's way to Buffy's perfectly done up face. The punch was so powerful,Buffy saw stars as she fell to the ground. The next thing she saw was black as everything fadedout..

* * *

"You never learn do you?" A voice asked worriedly as it brought the cloth up to her forehead.Buffy opened her eyes slowly, she looked around confused.

"Stay calm, you need to rest." The male voice said again as he gently pushed her back down.

"Where am-" Buffy began as she finally looked to who she was talking to, she gasped and puther hand to her mouth. "Angel?" She questioned, surprised. He laughed lightly, a twinkle tohis eye as she said that name.

"You know my name's Andrew, are you feeling a bit better Liz?" He asked as he wiped gentlyat a cut above her eye. Buffy looked to him, confused.

"Buffy, my name is Buffy." Buffy corrected as she scanned the room, it was white, everythingwas, the walls, the sheets, Angel's uniform, her Johnny..

"OK, I'm Angel and you're Buffy today, I'll bite. What made you think of those names?" Andrew asked with a smile as he adjusted the monitor and made sure it was on .

"What is this Angel? Some sort of new torture you've come up with?" Buffy asked with pain inher voice, where was she? And why was Angel making all this stuff up? As she moved to get up,she winced and laid back down, her leg felt like it had been ran over with a steamer, she noticedthe cast.

"You really shouldn't move that, and word for wise, next time don't get into fights with Jane,you're lucky this time, she got transferred in your place." He said seriously as he stuck theneedle in, she bit her lip. Buffy also noticed he had a pulse.

"Human." Buffy breathed as his warm hands touched her skin, she felt a shiver go down her spine. But then a sadness ran over her, this wasn't Angel. ~Bad Buffy, you have Riley, never look back.. But if this isn't Angel, then who is he?~ Buffy thought as she examined Andrew, down to every detail, he was the pure embodiment of everything Angel, he even gave off the 'Angel' vibe that was burned in her memory.

"Who are you? And where am I?" Buffy asked, realizing the oddity of all of this.

"You know I'm an orderly and you know this is Manthorne." Andrew said aggravated, why was she always playing these games? He always had hoped she would get better, but it looked like she never going to.

"Manthorne? Orderly?..." Buffy trailed off, but then a light turned on inside of her head."Institute for the mentally handicapped." Buffy finished as she looked him in the eye, he noddedsadly. ~What am I doing here?~ Buffy thought as he left, and the drugs kicked in..

* * *

"Rise and shine sweetheart." A girl said snidely next to her ear, as she looked Buffy in the eye. Buffy met her gaze and shrank back.

"Come on Liz, I haven't seen you for a week, they've had you in lock-down for a while now I couldn't go on without a visit to my best-buddy." She added with a smirk.

"Faith? How did you get here?" Buffy asked, forgetting her hatred for the moment.

"Wow, they really got ya drugged up enough huh? For the refresher course, the name's Brady, Come on, let's go get some grub, it's gotta be better than this liquid shit they've been feeding you." Brady said excitedly as she ripped out her IV and helped her out of bed, she grabbed the crutches next to it and handed them to Buffy. Buffy took them and followed slowly along, curious about all of this, she wanted to explore. Buffy decided to play along, it beat lyingaround staring at the ceiling, contemplating her feelings and thinking of how much she wantedto get out of here.

Buffy examined her surroundings as they walked through the halls. Pretty much the same as the room, white, colorless. Only one thing was different, as they passed rooms, people were inside, some laughing, others crying, or some just sitting in silence, staring into space. Buffy shivered, she didn't like it here, it screamed loneliness. She hurried to catch up to Brady, trying to hold on to some link from Sunnydale, her home and her sanity.

"Hey Cookie, eaten lately?" Brady said sweetly as she passed a table where a thin woman was sitting.

"Go to hell." She answered coldly as she ripped up a napkin in her bony hand.

Brady moved to the counter, she pulled Buffy along. "What's with the confusion today? Havethey been screwing with your mind again?" Brady asked as she piled potato's onto her plate.Buffy followed suit, hobbling along on her crutches.

"Who?" Buffy asked as she got some coleslaw.

"Dr. Shelman, who else, the president, gosh Liz, I think you're even worse off then I am." Brady said with a twisted laugh.

"Of course, how challenged of me." Buffy said quietly as they moved to an empty table. She ate her food in silence. Brady stared at her. Everyone in the room had been staring at her all day, she heard whispers, like "She's actually back." or "that bitch, she shouldn't have come back here.".

* * *

Buffy got blinded when a light was flashed in her eyes at four in the morning.

"Hmmm?" Buffy asked as she put a hand over her eyes.

"Checks." Andrew whispered as he left.

"Checks?" Buffy repeated confused. ~I'm in a nuthouse, Angel's here, Faith's here, and so am I, how the hell did this happen?~ Buffy asked herself, she wanted to get out of here badly. "This has to be some dream, some horrible dream that I'm going to wake up from soon." Buffy assured herself as she went back to sleep...

* * *

When Buffy awoke the next morning, she frowned. She paced back and forth in her room, thinking up possible excuses for her being there.

"Maybe I am insane, or maybe this is just some other universe, yeah that's it. I have to finda way home. Maybe Andrew can help me." Buffy said to herself as she paced in her Johnny. Shewalked out of the room, down to the nurse's station and rang the bell.

"I have to see Angel, I mean Andrew, now." Buffy corrected herself mentally as she talked sternly to the nurse that was sitting there, adorned in white as well.

"Just one moment please." The nurse said sweetly as she picked up the phone. "Andrew, you have a visitor at front desk." The nurse said as it went through the system. Andrew walked up hurriedly to the front desk, he looked to Buffy and sighed.

"What is it Liz?" He asked quietly.

"I need to talk to you, alone." Buffy said as she looked to the nurse.

"Sure." Andrew agreed uncertainly as he walked with her to her room.

* * *

"I'm going to tell you something that you're probably not going to believe." Buffy said as she sat down on her bed and looked up to him. "But it's really important that you just listen to me first, will you hear me out?" Buffy asked importantly. Andrew nodded and sat next to her.

Buffy told him everything, about Sunnydale, her history, slaying, the similarities between Angel and him, Faith, how she got here, her thoughts, her feelings, everything. Andrew looked stunned.

"You're either an amazing liar, or you really are this Buffy person you speak of." Andrew said as he studied her every move, infatuated with her story, with her. He always had a crush on her before, but after what she had just told him, he thought he loved her. ~Wipe this out of your head, she's insane, you're not.~ Andrew thought as he looked her in the eye, all reasoning left his head, as he looked into the hazel eyes, he got lost. Andrew looked away.

"Are you making this up?" Andrew asked seriously as he looked to her again. Buffy took his hand gently and put it to her neck, on the right side, he gasped as he felt a scar, like two puncture marks. She then brought his head to hers, she kissed him, putting all of her emotions into that one kiss, she knew this was the Angel of this dimension, human or not. Andrew pulled away and smiled.

"What do we have here? Tsk, tsk, orderlies and loonies don't mix, Dr. Shelman wouldn't be too happy about this." Brady said with a smirk as she opened the door, she had been on the other side, listening in on it the whole time. Buffy and Andrew looked to her, surprised.

"We were just.." Buffy started.

"Making nice? Is that what they call it these days? Oh DR. SHELLM-" Brady began as Buffy whipped up and put her hand over her mouth.

"Do the smart thing and shut-up." Buffy said sternly. "Oh and about the cast, the slayer-strength heals those kind of things right up, very quickly too." Buffy added as she ripped the cast off. Brady looked to her and nodded, she made the gesture of locking her mouth and throwing away the imaginary key, she smiled.

"Now there's my Liz, or should I say Buffy?" Brady said with a smile.

"You're either with us, or against us. What'll it be?" Buffy asked Brady.

"Duh, with! I wouldn't sit around on my ass while all this exciting shit was going on!" Brady exclaimed.

* * *

"Okay, the plan is, we get out of here, drive to this dimension's Sunnydale, talk to Giles and see if he can get me back to my other reality." Buffy said as she pointed to Sunnydale on the map. "It doesn't look too far from here, do you think you could get us out Andrew?" Buffy asked as she bit on her lip.

"Yeah, no problem, thing is, what if there isn't a Giles there?" Andrew asked worriedly. Buffy frowned.

"Well, someone is bound to be there, it is the Hellmouth." Buffy stated simply

"Cool, when do we leave?" Brady asked impatiently. "And do I get to pummel things?" Brady added excitedly.

* * *

Andrew woke Buffy and Brady up at three, the shift when he was supposed to keep watch. They rushed out of the compound and into Andrew's Jeep. Buffy sighed and smiled. "We're out, that was almost too easy." Buffy said as the alarm went off, Andrew slammed on the gas and spun them out of there...

"Spoke too soon." Andrew commented as they drove down the streets, towards Sunnydale, and Buffy's chance.

* * *

Buffy opened her eyes to light, she was nestled against Andrew, her head on his chest in thebackseat, he was breathing lightly. She brushed her lips with his, he opened his eyes and smiled.

"Hey you." He said tiredly.

"Hey." Buffy returned as she kissed him once more. "Where's Brady?" Buffy asked as she noticedthat she was gone.

"I don't know, I've been out like a light for the last three hours when we got here." Andrewcommented as he looked around.

"Oh shit." Buffy mumbled, if Brady was anything like Faith, and Buffy's gut instinct was sayingyes, she was miles away by now. "Shit." Buffy repeated. Andrew shared her look.

* * *

Buffy walked up Giles' steps, Andrew alongside her, holding onto her hand, squeezing it tightly,he felt like he had known her forever. Buffy knocked on the door and bit her lip.

A woman of about age thirty-two answered the door, she was a mirror image of Willow, only older.

"Willow?" Buffy asked as she hugged her. The woman pulled away gently.

"Are you lost?" The woman asked with concern.

"Oh yeah." Buffy said under her breath. "Do you know where we could find a Rupert Giles?" Buffy asked. The woman looked startled, and put her hand to her mouth.

"Come inside." The woman said quickly as she ushered them in. Andrew sat next to Buffy on the couch, rubbing the inside of her palm with his thumb, as Angel used to do.

"How do you know of this Giles?" The woman asked quickly as she set about to make some tea,there was a faint British lilt to her voice.

"I come from a different dimension, he was my watcher in my reality, I was a slayer." Buffy stated truthfully, hoping she'd understand, she did thankfully. The woman nodded.

"I remind you of Willow, a girl you used to know? My name is Maria, I had a great grandmother named Willow. She was a watcher, as I am now. Rupert Giles was my tutor, unfortunately, he isn't with us anymore." Maria said sadly. Buffy cringed, the thought of Giles being gone made her sick to her stomach.

"Where's your slayer?" Andrew asked, changing the subject as he noticed Buffy's pain.

"She never made it here." Maria said with a sigh, she brought out some tea and scones. "She was on her way, from Boston, and she got committed into Manthorne. I've been dismissed from the council, seeing as my charge went insane." Maria added as she poured herself some tea, and sipped on it

"Brady.." Buffy trailed off.

"No, her name was Elizabeth Winters." Maria corrected with a smile.

"Buffy." Andrew said urgently as he tugged on her sleeve. "That was your name, in Manthorne."He whispered. Buffy turned pale.

"Um, Will-Maria, in this dimension, I would be Elizabeth Winters, but we switched places somehow, and the real Elizabeth is in my world, and I got taken here. My name is Buffy." Buffy said as she looked her in the eyes.

"Oh my." Maria exclaimed as she walked into the other room, grabbing a file on the counter. She passed it to Buffy. Buffy opened it and gasped.

"Mentally unstable, killed five people, made at least seven suicide attempts, if not more. Recently escaped from Manthorne.." Buffy read, Andrew squeezed her hand again "That wasn't you Buffy, remember that." Andrew said softly.

"That's not what I'm worried about." Buffy said as she handed the file to him. "All I know is that a maniac that looks identical to me is loose in Sunnydale." Buffy finished distantly. Maria and Andrew turned pale.

* * *

"Here it is, General Transference spell. This seems to be it." Maria called out from the computer as she printed it off. Andrew and Buffy looked up from their books. Buffy was going down memory lane as she read through the books, it made her miss Giles even more.

"Do you have the supplies?" Buffy asked hopefully, itching to get home.

"Yes I do, just refreshed my supply yesterday." Maria said with a smile as she set everythingup. "Say your good-byes now." Maria added with a sad smile. Buffy looked to Andrew.

"You've been so wonderful to me, ever since I got here, I love you Angel." Buffy said compassionately as she leant up and kissed him softly on the lips, he pulled her into a hug.

"I love you Buffy, always." Andrew said, forgetting about her slip-up, he took a plain silverband off of his finger and put it on hers. "I wish you didn't have to go." He murmured intoher ear, as he held on to her tighter.

"Me either." Buffy said as a tear escaped down her cheek, he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb and brushed his lips with hers one last time. Buffy pulled away, touching her ring, wiping at her eyes.

"Step into the center of the circle." Maria said softly as Buffy stepped into it.

"Take what's lost and make it found, take what's lost and make it found, take what's lost and make it found." Maria chanted as she sprinkled herbs over the altar. Buffy looked to Andrew, she smiled weakly, he smiled back, tears running down his face.

A bright light enveloped the room. That was the last time Andrew ever saw Buffy Summers.

* * *

"Andrew?" Buffy called out as she opened her eyes tiredly, her face felt like it had been smashedin by a 2x4. She stood up, disoriented.

"Are you all right Buffy?" Giles asked as he ran to her side. Checking her out, she lookedfine, no cuts or bruises.

Buffy looked to Giles, she pulled him into a hug. "You're alive." Buffy said happily.

"Yes, it appears to be so." Giles said, feeling a bit worried. "Don't worry about the vampire, I took care of him." Giles added as he held up the stake and pulled away.

"Vampire?" Buffy asked.

"Yes, the one that knocked you out, I was coming back from the magic shop and saw you lyingthere, he was about to drag you off somewhere." Giles said as he gathered up the items he haddropped.

"Oh yeah." Buffy said remembering what she had been doing last, she was on patrol.. ~What aboutElizabeth Winters?~ Buffy asked herself as they both walked back to Giles.

* * *

Buffy sat on the couch, staring off into space, thinking about Andrew and Angel, and everythingthat had happened to her. ~Could it have been a dream? No, it was definitely real.~ Buffy thoughtas Willow and Giles prepared a spell. She unconsciously played with a silver band on her finger.

"Oh my." Buffy gasped as she examined the ring, she thought she was going to cry. "I had bettergo home now, mom might worry." Buffy said quickly as she got up to go.

"Bye." Willow and Giles called out from their positions at the table.

* * *

Buffy stayed in her room all morning, sometimes pacing back and forth, other times listeningto depressing music, hugging Mr.Gordo. She went over to her drawer, she pulled out a beigebox. Buffy emptied the contents out onto her bed.

//My lover's charms are in a box beneath my bed
And piece by piece I'll cherish them until the end
Send me an angel to love, I need to feel a little piece of heaven
Send me an angel to love, I'm afraid I'll never get to heaven..//

She picked up the cross, a frown on her face, so many memories came up as her fingers encasedthe silver. Buffy put it on. She picked up the Claddaugh ring, her heart nearly broke as sheput it on.

//They burn my hands, scar my face, and blind my eyes
I'll steal your breath, I'll throw away what I despise
Send me an angel to love, I need to feel a little piece of heaven
Send me an angel to love, I'm afraid I'll never get to heaven//

And finally the silver band that Andrew had placed on her hand before she left, that had meantso much to her. He may not have been the real Angel, but in spirit and looks he was. When shehad spent time with Andrew, she never felt more close to Angel. A single tear burned down her face.

//Between these walls and darkened halls
I've done my time
If I should die before I wake
Then you'll know why//

Buffy slowly fell asleep, she was exhausted physically and emotionally..

//Send me an angel to love, I need to feel a little piece of heaven
Send me an angel to love, I'm afraid I'll never get to heaven//

* * *

"Wake up honey." A voice called out as he stroked her hair. Buffy opened to her eyes. "Angel.." She murmured looking to the man. She gasped and put her hand to her mouth. "Riley, I meant Riley." She said quickly. Riley did not look amused.

"You've been dreaming about him I see." He said painfully. Buffy looked guiltily to her handsas he said this. Riley also looked to her hands. "What's this?" Riley asked as he pointed tothe Claddaugh. He had come to take her out for dinner, she was still in bed, dreaming aboutAngel and wearing some odd looking ring.

"Nothing." Buffy said quickly as she out her hands under the covers.

"Is there something you want to tell me Buffy?" Riley asked quietly. Buffy looked him in the eye. in that instant she knew the truth, it was over between them. Riley also knew, somewhere deep inside, she was not always there when he was talking to her, and with all of the Commando stuff he had been tied up with, it only made the gap bigger.

"You already know." Buffy answered quietly. Riley nodded and took her hand.

"Still friends?" He asked hopefully, not wanting to ruin their friendship. Buffy smiled.

"Of course." She said, he nodded, turned then left. Buffy smiled then laid back down in herbed, that had went better then she thought it would have.

* * *

Buffy made the announcement to everyone at her house the next day that they weren't togetheranymore. Everyone nodded in understanding, they knew that the past few months really took ablow to the relationship.

"It was inevitable I guess." Buffy said with a sigh as she leant back against the wall andcrossed her arms.

"Not the end of the world though, that's a good." Xander pointed out as he munched on somecheesy-chips.

"That much is true." Willow offered with a smile. Tara nodded from her position next to Willow.

"I didn't like him anyway, I felt threatened." Anya added.

"So, what do you plan to do now?" Giles asked as he came in from the kitchen, having a littlechat with Joyce.

//Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me//

"Visit an old friend." Buffy said with a secret smile. And he wasn't going to refuse her. She was going to make sure of it.

* * *

//So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling sadness
I'm losing, I'm bluesing
But you can save me from madness//

Buffy knocked on the door that read 'Angel Investigations', She entered and saw Cordelia atthe desk.

"He's waiting for you." Cordelia said with a hundred watt smile. Buffy smiled gratefully, abit confused by the remark, but grateful. She walked out of the lift.

"Angel?" Buffy called out. He stepped out of the shadows, a smile on his face, he walked upto her and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her passionately. Buffy gasped and her eyeswent wide.

"Human." She breathed as she kissed his mouth, his cheeks, then his mouth again, returningthe passion. Buffy didn't care how this happened, he was human and so was she.

"Stay with me." Angel stated with a smile when she pulled away.

"Of course." Buffy said simply as she looked him in the eyes and their lips met again, laughterescaping their mouths, this time it was real, her Angel, her lover, to be with, and live happilyever after as two normal, human beings in love.

//Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me//

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