Rating: PG 14 (some swearing and..rape)
Disclaimer: Joss owns allSpoilers: none yet, more in my twisted world right now
Author's notes: Okay this is pretty cruel behavior, but horribly true, this happens everyday, rape is evil and very real, but the sick part is, the rapists aren't demons, or vampires, they're everyday people and that's what frightens me.
Feedback: You guys are reaaaaally gonna hate me, please be gentle!
Additional notes: Angel will show up, Buffy will need him, I haven't decided what will happen to 'him' (Buffy's husband)Also 'him' isn't Riley, Riley may be kinda 'dim' but he would never do that, 'him' is just the guy she married, he is no one from the show, just an evil bastard of my creation.

Buffy watched her television, deeply engrossed with Dawson's Creek, *Joey has it so easy, she doesn't even realize..* Buffy thought, but her thoughts were quickly stopped, when she heard the door slam outside, she turned the T.V off, scrambled to her room, slipped under the covers and turned the light off. Buffy pulled the covers tighter when she heard his heavy, loud, footsteps.

Buffy heard him trip over the mess he had earlier made, she smiled weakly, *at least he hurts himself, even if I can't* the thought made memories flood through her, when they were in love, when she was still the slayer and didn't have to take any crap off of him, when the council had made the second the slayer the active one, Buffy had been relieved of her duties as slayer, at the time she didn't think it possible, it was perfect, she finally had the normal life, with an all too normal husband. Things were perfect in the beginning, it was like they were made for each other, but then after a year, when they found out Buffy couldn't get pregnant, instead of trying to help Buffy through it, he lashed out, verbally abusing her.*I loved him too much, I couldn't just walk away..* Buffy thought.

Eventually the verbal abuse turned to physical abuse, if Buffy didn't keep the house perfect, or have supper by five, his temper would explode, and if Buffy ever tried to defend herself, he would degrade her and leave nasty looking welts everywhere.

*I couldn't tell anyone, I was too embarassed, how did I get myself into this?* Buffy thought, but her thoughts were cut short as he nearly ripped open the door and turned the light on, Buffy shrank back near the bed head."Why didn't you clean up my mess bitch?!! Did you do it just to piss me off? huh? ANSWER ME DAMMIT!" He yelled as he walked over and shook her, causing her head to bang against the board.

"I'm sorry!! I just got home 15 minutes ago! I didn't mean to upset you!" Buffy cried as the tears flowed.

"Well then I guess you're just going to have to make it up to me then." He said coldly as he ran his hand down her face gently but shakily, she could smell the alcohol on his breath, no he wasn't an alcoholic but he did get plastered on occaision.

"H-how do you mean?" Buffy said shakily, fully knowing the answer.

"You know exactly what I mean, you two-bit whore, I know you've been around the block, you've been cheating on me? Haven't you? Well I'm just gonna have to see if you got any better." He said with a cold grin, Buffy wanted to disappear, or be anywhere but where she was.

*Oh no, oh god no, he's going to rape me, god help me!*He advanced on her and ran his hand along her leg, Buffy put her hand gently on his.

*Buffy! Stop this!You were a slayer! Don't take this from him! Even if a part of you still loves him..or did.....*

"Please don't, I d-don't want to." Buffy sqeaked out.

A look of severe anger crossed his features, he violently grabbed her arm and looked her straight in the eye.

"Listen slut, we can do this the hard way, or we can do this the easy way, either way, I don't mind, don't make me HURT you." He spat.

Buffy nodded sadly as the tears kept on coming.

The whole time Buffy felt like she was being ripped to shreds, this wasn't what she wanted, never what she wanted, or expected.

*I'm somewhere else, I'm not here getting raped, I'm okay, I'm fine....I'm fine, who the fuck am I kidding.* Buffy thought sadly, the only reason why she didn't kill herself was because she was holding on to this false hope, this dream that maybe she could be happy again, someday..maybe...never.

Finally it was over, he rolled over and fell asleep. Buffy ran into the shower and scrubbed herself, she went back into the room and just stared at his sleeping form.

*When I look at him sleeping, it's like he's my husband again, but he's not and never will be again, he raped you, HE RAPED YOU!*

This big fit of anger washed over Buffy, she felt the adrenaline kick through her, for the first time through the whole relationship, she felt angry enough to do something, she (still in her pajama's) took her car keys and took one last look before she left.

Once in the car, she wept, like she had never wept before, only one time had she cried this much. She sped off, no idea where she was going, barely keeping to one lane, she made it for awhile, until she crashed into a sign and hit her head on the steering wheel, everything went black...

* * *

All night Angel could feel something was wrong, he knew it,he could feel it, his suspisions were founded when Cordelia fell to the floor and writhed in pain, Angel rushed to the now 23 year olds side and helped her up.

"What did you see?" Angel asked. Cordelia looked tormented and sad as she looked up at him hesitently.

"Oh god, poor Buffy." Cordelia said as she put her hand to her head. "I saw her being raped...and then she was in her car...and..she crashed into a sign." Cordelia said as she looked at the floor.

"I have to find her. Now" Angel said as he went out the door.

"Angel wait!" Cordelia called but it was too late, he was already gone.

*My Buffy, she was raped, when I find out who did this...Buffy's hurt I can't think about that now, I have to go to her.* Angel thought as he headed towards Sunnydale, he was nearing the outskirts of L.A when he saw a car that had crashed into a sign. Angel ran out the car, he looked in the window and saw her unconsious form, he opened the door and gently pulled her out. He gently set her down in the backseat and started driving.

* * *

Buffy groggily opened her eyes, she saw the night sky loom above her, she was in motion, when she looked around she noticed she was in a car, but someone else's. She sat up and felt a throbbing pain in her head, she felt her forehead, it was bleeding. The car stopped at a big house in a suburb. The figure stepped out of the car and moved toward her, as the streetlight illuminated his features, she smiled weakly and tears rolled down her cheek again.

"Angel." She whispered, then she passed out again.

* * *

Buffy woke up to Angel sitting next to her, she was in an unfamiliar bed, but a not so unfamiliar place.

"Buffy." Angel said, pain in his eyes and worry. "I took you to the nearest doctor last night, a friend of mine checked you out, you'll be fine...physically." Angel said quietly as he took her hand in his and sqeezed it.

Buffy thought back to last night, when 'he' raped her, she felt a tear welling up. "You know don't you." Buffy whispered, it was more of a statement than a question. Angel nodded sadly

"Who?" Angel asked softly as he wiped away the tear with his thumb.

"My husband." Buffy said sadly. "He's been abusing me and he took it one step further last night.." Buffy said as she looked away in shame.*How could I have let that happen, it was all my fault.* Buffy thought.

Almost as if Angel had read her thoughts. "It wasn't your fault Buffy." He said somberly.

"I know." Buffy said. "Some part of me knows, but the other part still blames me." Buffy added as she started to cry again.

"Shhh, no more tears." Angel whispered as he pulled her in his arms and stroked her hair and whispered comforting words..

*How can I make her pain go away?* Angel asked himself as his heart broke again for Buffy.

They sat like that for the rest of the day, Angel comforting his Buffy.

*I feel so dirty. So...used, how did this happen?* Buffy thought as she fell asleep.

Angel set her down gently and pulled the covers over her. He kissed her on the forehead and walked upstairs.

"How extreme is the damage?" Cordelia asked as Angel walked out of the lift.

"Just a few bruises and welts." Angel said as he sighed solemnly.

"Do you think they were there before the accident?" Cordelia said quietly.

"I should have known something was wrong, why didn't I do something?" Angel asked, more himself than Cordelia.

"Angel, you had no idea, you thought that Buffy had moved on, to a better life, so you let go, you couldn't have known." Cordelia said as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I can't stand to see her this way, I thought when her slaying duties were taken away, she would find some kind of peace. I still love her." Angel said as he put his head in his hands.

"Maybe now she will-find some peace, with you." Cordelia said, with Angel's look she raised an eyebrow.

"She needs you." Cordelia said sternly.

"But the curs-" Angel began.

"No, don't give me any of that, that line is so of the past, and she needs a friend right now and I nominate you for that responsibility." Cordelia said as she put her coat on.

"I'm going to go out and buy some people-food, we can't have Buffy starving, because the anorexic-manic-depresssive chick look is so out this year. you know what you have to do!" Cordelia exclaimed as she walked out the door.

*I'm lucky to have a friend like her.* Angel thought as he made a fresh cup of coffee and walked downstairs.

Buffy was tossing and turning, "no, please no." Buffy whimpered.

Angel set the coffee down and ran to her and shook her."Buffy wake up, listen to me it's only a dream." Angel said gently.

Buffy opened her eyes and tears came out again.

*How many tears must she shed over him and all he's put her through* Angel thought.

"It felt so real Angel, so real." Buffy whispered as she buried her head into his shoulder as she had done so many times before.

Angel pulled away. "Would you like some coffee, it might taste a bit off, I haven't made it in a while, I'm just warning you." Angel asked as he pointed to the cup with a smile.

Buffy took the coffee and swallowed with a sour look. "Most definetely, coffee is not one of your talents." Buffy said with a smile.

Angel's heart warmed, he loved seeing her smile. They were one step closer, to Buffy's healing.

* * *

Several Days Later

"Supper will be ready soon." Angel stated.

"Yay food." Buffy said as she as she ate more popcorn, her eyes glued on the T.V screen. Cordelia had lent Buffy a couple of her outfits, to Buffy's dismay, they were a bit big on her, so Cordelia planned on taking her out shopping.

Buffy was getting better, day by day, being surrounded by them was good, Buffy didn't want to see anyone else, for then, they were all off doing their own thing anyway, since she dropped out of College, she had lost touch with her friends and her mom wouldn't understand. Things were good where she was.

*Angel and Cordelia have been so good to me through all this, I couldn't ask for better friends.* Buffy thought.

*Maybe more than a friend.* Buffy thought as his image appeared, deep down, she still loved him, she always had, when he left Sunnydale, she had no other choice but to move on. Everytime he smiled, she could feel herself melt, almost like when she was back in highschool.

*Buffy, he's a vampire, you're human, you've already been down this road, a lot, even if you do love him....* Buffy's thoughts were interupted when Cordelia bounded downstairs, with a credit card on hand.

"We're going on an all expense payed, shopping trip! And the best part, it's someone else's money. Angel gave _me_ *his* credit card!!" Cordelia exclaimed!

"I couldn't." Buffy said, although the thought was appealing, this was Angel's money. She couldn't

Angel walked down. "It's okay Buffy, I don't mind." Angel said, he came close to her and whispered: "Just do me a favor, keep an eye on Cordelia." Angel added.

Buffy giggled, "Of course."

Cordelia just rolled her eyes and grabbed Buffy's hand. "Times a wasting, there's this big sale going on all through the mall!" Cordelia exclaimed.

Bufy gave Angel a 'help me' look. Angel just smiled an incredibly sexy smile that read 'you're on your own.'

***

Buffy was tired and exhausted by the time Cordelia slowed down enough to stop for lunch.

"Okay we have one more place to go before we pack it in." Cordelia said with a mischievous smile. She set her many, many bags down and dug into her food,

Buffy put her bags down and sat. "I'm tired, are you sure we couldn't go there another day?" Buffy asked tiredly.

"Nope, we have to go there today, because of the big plan for tonight.." Cordelia said. "I was thinking since Angel's has helped you a lot, that we should do something for him, I already have the food ordered, you just have to set the table." Cordelia added.

"That's a really good idea, I'm in." Buffy said as she though of the things Angel had done for her.

* * *

"Wow, it looks so...wow." Buffy exclaimed as she turned around and looked in the mirror once more.

"I have such talent for bringing style to fashionally handicapped people." Cordelia said with a bright smile.

Buffy smile in spite of everything, she knew Cordelia didn't really mean what she said.

*Cordelia has been so good to me, I don't deserve it* Buffy thought as she looked to Cordy.

"Thank you Cordy, thanks for everything." Buffy said genuinely.

"No big, when you're in trouble you always need someone to bail you out, I'm just happy it was me." Cordelia said as she went and hugged Buffy in Angel's downstairs. Angel was in the tunnels hunting some demon.

"Now you go get everything ready, if you need me I'll be at my apartment." Cordy said as she left.

Buffy set the table and set out the meal, already knowing that Angel didn't eat it, but it was the thought that counted anyway, she put two wine glasses and filled hers with wine and his with blood. She turned some slow music on and dimmed the lights, she waited for him. Sure as day she heard him coming down the stairs.

"Cordelia? Buffy?" He called as he came downstairs. "Okay something happened in the tunnels, something's different." Angel said as he came down and saw her. His breath caught in his throat, she was stunning, her hair was pinned up with a few tendrils framing her face, she wore a gown that was white silk, it was strapless and had a white ribbon tied around the waist, pure perfection, but it wasn't so much what she was wearing that caught his eye, it was the happiness in her eyes, that caught his attention, a happiness he hadn't seen in a long time, and it was directed towards him. He looked around and saw the dinner table and noticed the music.

"For me?" He asked, with a smile, it was more a statement than a question.

"All for you." Buffy returned as she pointed to the table. He sat down and so did she.

"It looks delicious Buffy." Angel said with a half smile.

"Yeah I know with your vamp taste buds you only crave blood, I just thought the whole scene would be nice anyway." Buffy said as she tried a bite.

"That's what I want to talk about." Angel said as he stood up and walked over to the window. Buffy had a look of curiosity.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

Angel opened the curtain and the room was flooded with light.

"Angel don't!!" Buffy yelled, her heart breaking, but then she noticed he wasn't burning. Buffy looked up at him in awe.

"How?" Buffy asked as she looked in stupor at him.

"I was fighting a mohra demon, I killed it and some of it's blood mixed with mine. Next thing I know, I'm gasping for breath." Angel said still in awe over what happened.

Buffy walked over to him and placed her hand on his chest, it thumped, and he was breathing. Angel put his hand on hers and gently lifted it to his mouth, he kissed the back of her hand gently.

"So..you're human, I'm not a slayer anymore so that makes me human too..so what happens now?" Buffy asked as her heart sped up by the *warm* touch of his lips on her hand.

"I guess I live a normal life." Angel said as he stared at her deep in the eyes.

"You're forgetting one thing." Buffy told Angel a look of love in her eyes.

"What's that?" Angel asked still holding on to her hand.

"You're going to live a normal life with me." Buffy said as her mouth found his, she kissed him passionately, and stayed that way until they both needed air.

"I always loved you Angel, I did love my husband at first, but it wasn't what we had, it couldn't even come close, you are my first true and only love." Buffy said as she clung to him, revelling at how safe she felt, a barrier where her husband could never cross.

"I never stopped loving you Buffy, I think about you every minute, I was dying without you." Angel admitted as he brushed a hair away from her face.

"Dance with me?" Buffy asked.

"Of course." Angel answered as they started slow dancing to the soft music that played in the background.

*I finally found my happiness, even if I already knew where it was.* Buffy thought as she silently thanked the gods for this miracle.

They danced, they talked, they loved.

Epilouge:

Buffy and Angel were madly in love and together for many years to come. Buffy's husband died in a drunk driving accident. Buffy and Angel soon got married and Buffy delivered a tiny miracle years later.

Buffy never felt lonely again, she spent every night in her lover's arms.

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