SERIES: Only When I Sleep interlude Mother recently out of hospital and still on strict early nights. Demanding faux younger sister. Friends loved up. Own boyfriend recently ex. Usual bad television schedule. Conclusion: I've known more interesting New Year's Eves. Good time to perfect my lucid dreaming technique, right? * * * * * Despite having reservations about how effective dream alcohol would be - especially dream alcohol of my making, considering I hardly ever touch the stuff - I did my best to produce wine, safe in the knowledge that Angel most likely wouldn't tell me even if it was horrible. Yay for eighteenth century manners. I'd chosen the place carefully; the Bronze. Familiar to both, but with no terrible connotations for either of us. Music on tap (not live; I'm not quite up to creating a horde of musicians). Me waiting, perched on the pool table, wearing the Christas outfit I yearned for but couldn't actually afford, sipping a glass of the wine and trying not to look like I'd made anything resembling an effort, because, after all, I am still officially in mourning over Riley. But that was over, and it was New Year. Just the time to put him behind me. And I never let him into my time here with Angel. Wasn't that indicative, if I thought of it; that I was ready to try and out Riley behind me when I'd never really done that with Angel? I'm not sure exactly what it was indicative of, but I'm sure it was. "Is this a bad time?" It's not often that I'm so busy thinking that I miss someone, much less a vampiric someone, coming up and standing right behind me. It was embarrassing. "No," I said, a smile crossing my lips at his voice. I twisted to look at him. He looked fairly glowery. "Okay," I said mock-sternly, hopping down lightly from the counter and turning to face him full-on. "I've had a fairly bad New Year's, as they go, and in the spirit of Auld Lang Syne or whatever, I decided to come here and share some of the festive spirit with you, to give both of us a chance to get away from the big bad world out there. And if you don't comply, I'm not back in school for a while yet and I can come to L.A and yell at you for being yet another purveyor of rotten celebrations." "Promise?" He half-smiled, and I returned it, relieved; last time we'd been here he'd been pretty unstable. I hadn't been sure if he'd take my admittedly rambling declaration in good humour. "You may want to block out the world out there," he said, "but what about the one in here?" he tapped his head, fixing big, brown eyes on me. "Drug it," I said firmly, holding his eyes confidently with my own and whisking a full glass out from underneath the counter. He smiled properly then, reaching for the glass. "You did this?" he gestured to the red liquid sloshing inside the glass. "Without a grape in sight," I assured him. He lifted the glass to his lips, taking a sip. I watched carefully for his reaction. "That's not bad," he said, apparently sincerely. "Really?" I said eagerly, then caught myself. "I'm not much of a drinker." His eyes flicked to the half-empty glass I was swinging absently by my side. "Still my first," I told him brightly. "Hmm," he said, the smile metamorphosing into his trademark crooked smirk. He came over the counter in about a second - without spilling his drink, I noticed - and came up near. I stifled a gasp and leant back to see him as his body pressed close to mine. "Don't appear to be slurring any words..." he said teasingly, "your pupils are dilated..." "That's not only a symptom of intoxication," I informed him from the traces of a long-gone Biology lesson, because he'd said that immediately having trouble getting my tongue around the words. "What else is it a symptom of, then?" he said, grinning fully again. I remembered what it was and wished I hadn't said anything, possibly ever. "Um... your pupils dilate... when they see something they like..." I mumbled, mentally screaming at myself. He thought it was *funny*, the bastard. "What flattery," he said, laughing, easing himself out from between the counter and me and wandering over to a couch by the stage. "I don't think yours were natural size then!" I called in a pathetic attempt at a comeback. I mean, who ever looks at someone's pupils? He looked over and patted the couch beside him. I went to him and sat down, careful not to touch him to make my displeasure clear. "How was your Christmas?" he said in a conciliatory tone. "Oh, fine," I said, curling up and laying my head on the back of the couch. "Not great, because mom was ill and all... I can't make the present choices she does, Dawn wasn't too pleased... and then I kind of screwed up the Christmas dinner." "I hear you can buy wonderful ready-made Christmas meals these days," he offered. "It's not the same," I explained, quoting from both Dawn and my mother. "And an excess of gifts?" he asked. "I did alright," I said, my smile slipping as I recalled whose names hadn't appeared on gifts under the tree - Riley, my Dad. Angel himself. "I think Mom being okay was kind of my big present," I said idly, "I mean... like, spiritually, or..." "I know what you mean," he said, thankfully stopping me from falling headlong into confusing explanations. "I'm guessing you didn't do much for Christmas? Or, do Christmas?" I said, remembering my neglected drink and taking a long gulp. "Never do," he said, leaning his head back and looking at me pathetically as I propped myself above him. I giggled, and he reached for my hand. I let him take it and he stared at our fingers, intertwining them, his big hand around my small one. "And probably not such a good New Years if you're here at about two o' clock in the morning," I said. "Hey, you're here too!" he protested, "what are you saying, that I'm the last resort?" "Actually, yes," I said, giggling again, but stroking his hand to let him know I hadn't really meant it. "They're all the same anyway," he said, smiling. "Maybe to you," I said, purposely keeping my tone light, "anyway, happy New Year." I held my glass out for a toast. "Happy New Year," he echoed, straightening up to clink his glass with mine. I raised my glass to my lips, and was surprised when he took my arm gently and twined his elbow about mine. Getting what he was doing, I lifted my glass up again around his arm and we sipped delicately, our eyes meeting over the rims. He's got very good forearms, I noticed. "Here," he said, pulling his arm away. I looked at his fist in fascination as he held it in front of me and slowly uncurled his fingers. And offered me the piece of coal hidden within. "But I was a good girl this year, Santa," I said in puzzlement, taking the lump off him anyway. He grinned. "It's a tradition. If a dark stranger is the first of the year to pass over the threshold, it's good luck." "Okay," I said, "but this is hardly threshold-ey. And you're not a stranger." He raised a slightly reproachful eyebrow. "But I can always use some good luck," I added. "Can't we all?" he said dryly. "It's also considered lucky to kiss someone at midnight..." I said, watching him from under my lashes. "Yeah, it is," he agreed. "Well, and I didn't have anyone to kiss this year..." I said encouragingly. "I don't think I was awake at midnight anyway," he said thoughtfully. I couldn't contain the little thrill that went through me when he said that. Kind of not, because midnight is really early for a vampire and he shouldn't have gone to bed by then, but that means he wasn't kissing anyone at midnight. Not even Cordy. But it also means he was probably all alone, and I don't want him lonely either. Just not-lonely with friends, rather than not-lonely with a girlfriend. "Then we both have catch-up," I said brightly, unconsciously wetting my lips. "Guess so," he said, then he reached up, tilted my chin down as he inclined his face up, and we kissed. It was sweet. A gentle, gentlemanly whisper of his lips over mine, a bare brush that set my lips to tingling and my heart to racing. And then was gone. Damn. "Did you make any resolutions?" he asked, settling back, apparently perfectly content. "Only to keep myself and assorted friends and family alive," I said through gritted teeth, "you?" "Kill assorted family," he said, staring intently into his glass. "That was negativity," I warned grouchily. "And to keep myself alive," he said. I glared. "Undead?" he said, noticing my expression. "Whatever," I said. "Are you sulking?" he said, peering at me. "No," I said, slouching and running my finger around the rim of my glass. "You're sulking," he said with calm certainty. I breathed out loudly, neither confirming or denying. Well, there's no point in incriminating yourself. "Didn't feel that was lucky enough?" he teased. I cheered up slightly; that had potential. "I have been having a run of bad luck lately," I said, looking at him, hopefully not hopefully. I would have tried for coyly, but when you're a Slayer it becomes kind of hard to pull off 'coy'. I thought it was a pretty blatant come-on, but he didn't initiate anything more... then thinking about it, I realised he (more or less) never has. If there's been an aggressor in our relationship, it's definitely me. Obviously he wasn't going to break the habits of a lifetime. So why should I? I leant into him, nuzzling into his expansive chest, and when he looked down at me I curled an arm around his neck, brought his mouth down to mine and kissed him. He didn't respond for a moment, while I had a panicked moment thinking I'd *really* misjudged things, then his hand slipped into my hair and he gently held my head in place so he could tease my lips with his tongue and then... mmmmmm. I don't even remember stopping. And I woke up, and none of the problems had disappeared... but for that night they were lifted, and it turned out not to be such a bad New Years after all. And if I'm lucky? It'll start a trend for the rest of the year. Probably not. Though when I woke up I still had that lump of coal; maybe it'll help. As you probably know, on January 9th America gets a new 'Buffy' ep followed by an 'Angel' repeat. The week after is new 'Angel' preceeded by a repeat 'Buffy'. Given that this series is about Buffy and Angel working over what's happened to both of them (and that I'm quite lazy), I'm going to wait until after that new 'Angel' to write an installment of 'Only When I Sleep' for both eps rather than one after 'Triangle' *and* one after 'Redefinition'. If the pattern of new 'Buffy' old 'Angel', old 'Buffy' new 'Angel', carries on, I'll be doing the same then; a lot of it is to do with having enough new ground to work with, seeing as the fics are pretty short already. Happy New Year! Go to the next story Dream of Now, Dream of Then Send feedback to Esmerelda Back to the FanfictionArchive
DISCLAIMER: Do you really need me to tell you they're not mine?
TIMELINE: Early morning, January 1st 2001.
SPOILERS: Probably (inlcuding season 5).
SYNOPSIS: Buffy and Angel both have a sucky New Years' and meet in their dreams.
DISTRIBUTION: Have it, just give me an address.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a New Year fic, but I couldn't find any songs with either a title or line in that said 'New Year' and 'dream', so I've cheated and used a bit of the song title 'Christmas Dreaming (A Little Early This Year)'. I know you don't mind
FEEDBACK: Do you really need me to tell you this either? :)
RATING: PG