***
Angel rolled over muzzily, opening his eyes and focusing on the wall of the mansion, all at once familiar and strange. It came back to him quickly where he was, why he was there.
It took him a couple more seconds to register Buffy downstairs, but once he had, it hit him with an unstoppable force. Unmistakeable power, locked in her tiny body ... the indefinable touch that on most of her kind proclaimed 'Slayer' but on her screamed 'Buffy'. Her unique auric signature, stamped indelibly wherever she was.
And all over him.
He closed his eyes for a second, allowing himself to bask and treasure her 'feel' while he could still do it privately, then got up swiftly and dressed, ready to face whatever demons he encountered. Including his own.
*************
Buffy figured he probably hadn't dressed to impress, but, God, he did. Oblivious to the fact that she was staring adoringly at him, she let her gaze wander over him, relishing the sight of him, calm, cool, muscular. He looked like someone who would make everything okay. She choked back a gasp as she felt his mind brush hers, but before she could cling to the feeling, he had gone, and she wasn't skilled enough to connect to him while he was fully alert.
'Are you okay?' she heard him say distantly, and opened her eyes to see him standing by her; close, but not too close.
'Yeah,' she said, 'How are you?'
'Not too bad,' he said, and she loved his fleeting smile, 'You?'
'Fine,' she replied, wanting to say so much more, but then their eyes met, and her heart fell at the look in his eyes; friendly, interested, but without the love and passion she'd always seen there before, even the first time they met, even the last time they'd met.
Angel tried to keep himself detached as they exchanged banal pleasantries; he didn't think "I love you! Dump the soldier and in a few years I'll be human and we can be together!" would go down well. Especially if the aforementioned soldier was around. But he didn't seem to be, and for a moment he could almost pretend Buffy was looking at him with love.
But of course she wasn't and so he tried to remain calm and collected.
***************
Cordelia came up to Angel and wordlessly handed him a cup of coffee.
He smiled at her, 'Morning.'
'Afternoon,' she corrected affectionately.
'Whatever,' he said, gently guiding her over to where Wesley, Willow and Giles sat, poring over ancient volumes.
Irrationally jealous at Angel's unthinking hand on Cordelia's back, Buffy followed, feeling hurt.
'Angel,' Giles said, standing up to shake Angel's hand, 'How are you?'
'Fine, thanks,' Angel said, 'And you?'
'Getting along,' Giles said.
'Hi, Angel,' Willow piped up, remaining seated.
'Hi,' he said, giving her a half-smile and pulling over a couple of chairs. He helped Cordelia into one of them, and then gallantly offered the other to Buffy, though neither woman had really wanted to help with the research. Nevertheless, Buffy accepted the seat, jolting when his hand brushed her bare arm, and he went to get himself a chair.
'I really appreciate your help with this,' Angel said when he returned, aiming his comment at Giles, Willow and Buffy.
'We're glad to help,' Willow said brightly, 'Right?'
'Anything,' Buffy said with false cheer, but Angel looked at her and she knew he'd caught the underlying truth to her statement.
'Of course, you're welcome,' Giles said, then pulled a book over to show Angel and began to talk about various demons, Wesley and Willow occasionally chipping in.
'... And then the other possibility we found was that it was a Yriska demon, which at one point used a symbol similar to what both Cordelia and Buffy noted, though historically they don't kill humans,' Giles concluded.
'Have you got pictures of any of these demons?' Cordelia asked impatiently, 'Because you know at a pinch I could probably manage a simple identification.'
Giles looked at her, flustered, then scrabbled around in the books, 'Yes, yes, of course ...' he found what he was looking for and laid three books in front of her, open. He indicated the first, 'This is the Okilad, this one is the Righ, and this is a Yriska. Do any of them appear familiar?'
Cordelia threw a glance over the books, 'I guess maybe the Righ. I don't know.'
'Cordy,' Angel reproved her quietly.
She looked over at him and heaved a sigh, then leaned over to check the pictures more carefully, closing her eyes to try and picture the demon she'd seen.
'The Righ,' she said with certainty after a few minutes.
'That would make sense,' Wesley said, pulling another book over to him and flipping through it, 'The Righ must kill five humans every year for mystical strength, but after that they are not considered a threat to humans until they need to feed again. If those Cordy saw were the final two, it explains why they simply knocked Buffy out.'
"I'm sure that first five feel much better knowing that once they're dead everyone else is safe,' Buffy said bitterly.
'Would they still go after me?' Angel asked, disregarding her comment.
Wesley flicked over a couple more pages of his book, 'It seems so.'
'So I'll go and get them,' Buffy said simply.
'No,' Angel said firmly, 'If Cordy got the vision it means I'm supposed to do it.'
'Does it matter?' Buffy asked. 'I mean, as long as they're dead, right?'
'Wesley has explained the nature of Cordelia's visions to me,' Giles said tentatively, 'And considering she got a vision, it would imply that there is more to it than that.'
'Who cares?' Buffy snapped, standing up.
'Well, there could be a real reason it was meant for me,' Angel said quietly, meeting her gaze head on.
'No. There's no reason you should be putting yourself in danger when I can do it just as well and they won't go for me,' Buffy argued, telling herself the utter terror she felt when she thought he might get hurt was because of their history, and most certainly had nothing to do with how she might feel about him now.
'Hey, we don't know they won't go after you if you attack them, Buffy,' Willow interjected anxiously.
'Then let's find out,' Buffy declared, eyes flashing.
'No,' Angel said, standing up to look her straight in the eys (well, if she looked up and he looked down), 'You shouldn't be putting yourself in danger with demons meant for me.'
Just as Buffy opened her mouth to retort, another voice rang out.
'I think I actually agree with him,' Riley said loudly, standing at the entrance to the mansion, crossed arms and rigid stance betraying his anger.
'Riley,' Buffy said, too loudly, 'What are you doing here?'
A part of her felt Angel move behind her, as he unconsciously shifted to protect what he still thought of as his territory.
'Well, I just thought I'd come to help,' he said mockingly, taking in Buffy and Angel's positions and frowning.
'Take him somewhere,' Willow hissed urgently into Buffy's ear.
Buffy looked sideways at the witch and nodded slightly, crossing quickly over to Riley and grabbing his arm, 'Come on.'
'Oh, but you looked like you were just getting started,' Riley said, staring at Angel, who gazed unflinchingly back.
She pulled him behind her, then turned back to the group, 'I'll be back later,' she said, watching Angel, knowing he would pick up her slight emphasis on "I'll". He nodded slightly, letting her know he understood, and she allowed herself a brief thrill at their rapport, which they had fallen back into so easily at the slightest threat.
Whoah. Where had that come from? Buffy silently added "why Riley seems like a threat" to her growing list of Things I Do Not Want To Think About, along with "why I'm thinking Angel looks hugely preferable" and "why I'm wishing Riley was anywhere but here".
***************
'What the hell were you doing in there?' Riley demanded loudly when they were outside.
'Helping an old friend with a demon issue,' she responded equally noisily, 'I'm sorry if that's a problem for you!'
'He's a problem for me,' Riley said quietly.
'Why?' she said, 'Don't you trust me?'
'Oh, don't do that,' he said.
'Do what?' Buffy asked, 'You're the one making trouble here.'
'Don't make it about me when it's about you and him!'
'There is no me and him!' she shouted.
'Come on, Buffy,' he said, 'I saw the way you were in there.'
'We were no way,' she said despairingly, knowing she was lying.
'You want him,' he said, with something akin to self-disgust, 'And I'm only just seeing now that I've been your second best the whole way through.'
'Don't say that,' she said.
'Why not? It's true!' he yelled
'It's not true!' she insisted half-heartedly.
Riley looked at her for a few seconds, 'I'll see you, Buffy,' he said quietly.
'That's it?' she shouted after him, upset despite knowing he was right, 'We're over?'
'I don't know, Buffy,' he said, not turning to look at her, 'Give me a little time.'
Buffy sank to sit on the soft grass beneath her, tears threatening to spill. But it wasn't Riley she was fixated on. It was Angel, any one of the times she had said something similar to him.
***************
'Are you okay?' Willow asked Buffy, noting the blonde's suddenly wan complexion and unsteady expression.
'Yeah, I'm ...' Buffy looked around quickly, instinctively checking for Angel, then went on, 'We had a fight. We're, I don't know, on a break or something.'
'Over Angel?' Willow said softly.
'Yeah,' Buffy told her, 'Riley said he felt like he was second best.'
Willow bit her lip, afraid she would alienate Buffy by saying, 'Is he?'
Buffy shut her eyes and replied, 'He wasn't. I was okay, Will. We were okay. But then after I saw Angel again ...'
'No,' Willow said decisively.
Buffy looked at her in confusion, 'No what?'
'No, it wasn't when you saw Angel,' Willow said, 'It was when you even thought about him. You're not happy with Riley.'
'I am happy with Riley,' Buffy argued weakly.
'Not as happy as you should be,' Willow said firmly, 'Or you wouldn't be here. You'd have gone after him and you'd be working it out. That you're here says you believe he's right.'
'About Angel?' Buffy said.
'About Angel,' Willow confirmed.
'I don't buy it,' Buffy said after a moment, 'You know, he told me he needed time, and all I could think about was how often I said that to Angel. I know he loved me ... once,' she said, pressing her lips together to stop them from trembling, 'Why didn't he ever run after me and ask me not to go?'
'Because I wanted you to come back,' Angel said from behind her.
Buffy froze, and her eyes flew to Willow, whose grimace told her he was really there. She turned around gingerly and offered him a weak smile. He gave a polite smile back, and then moved on, looking completely unflustered.
Buffy groaned with horror and leaned her head on Willow's shoulder.
**************
Night was coming, and Buffy was itching to go to the fight. She had wandered restlessly around the mansion, then around the area near the mansion, admitting to herself that she was actively avoiding Angel. She couldn't take his whole "we're friends and nothing more" in her current state, not without risking jumping on him and staying there until he promised never to leave.
With nothing else to do, she eventually went back to the mansion. When she went in, and found the place empty, she was confused for a moment. The sun wasn't down yet ... Angel at least should still be around.
'Hello?' she called, standing unsurely in the main room.
**************
Angel debated whether to answer her. He was alone in the mansion, the others having gone variously to get more books (Giles and Wesley), meet their girlfriends (Willow) or eat (Cordelia, having demanded food allowance from him before leaving). After lightning quick weighing-up, he decided that he was perfectly up to a few minutes alone with Buffy.
No problem.
'Hi,' he said, entering the main room on quiet feet.
She jumped and whirled around, 'Hi! Where is everyone?'
'Food, books, girlfriend,' he explained with a slight smile. 'Um, have you eaten? Because I can call Cordelia and get her to bring something back.'
'I'm okay,' she said, slowly realising - alone. With Angel. As in, empty house, no-one around.
And not a single thing she could do with him. Damn.
They stood in awkward silence for a few moments, covertly watching each other.
'I was gonna do some training,' Angel said tentatively, congratulating himself on the idea, 'Do you want to -'
'Sure,' Buffy answered, welcoming the chance to work off some of her energy. And, if she was lucky, get a little up close and personal.
She turned away from him as he shoved one of the couches out of the way, rapidly unbuttoning her shirt and pulling it off to leave herself in a tank top.
Angel nearly choked as he turned back and saw her, revealing more tanned flesh as she shrugged off her shirt in one graceful gesture. He ached to caress the smooth skin she was now displaying, but clamped down strongly on the urge, though he let himself gorge himself on the sight while her back remained turned.
She faced him again and they stood on opposite sides of the large space, both waiting for the other to make the first move.
'Okay?' he said, feeling a little stupid just standing there.
'Yeah,' she said gratefully.
And moved in.
He followed her movement on the other side, circling her deftly as he ascertained how much her fighting style had changed. Then he had no more time to think as she came in with a fast right-hand punch which he evaded easily, coming in on her open side and aiming for her temple with a double-handed blow. She blocked him and fell back, waiting for him. He came at her with a snap kick, which she jumped to avoid, then tried an in-to-out crescent kick, following with a leg sweep which he had no problem countering.
They paused for a moment and he asked, frowning slightly, 'Is it just me, or is your heart not really in this?'
Buffy stepped back, confused, and then it came to her; she'd been doing most of her training with Riley of late. A devilish smile crossed her face, and she stepped back into Angel's reach. 'I'm fine. Go again?'
He didn't answer, only lunged towards her with a right-left combination. She blocked it, and they fell easily into sparring in true.
**************
Angel watched as Buffy turned the faucet on strongly and shoved her head underneath, drinking deep gulps of the cold water.
'Oh, that's better,' she said, surfacing and wiping her mouth with one hand. She turned back to Angel, lounging easily in the doorway, watching her with an amused expression on his face.
'What?' she said coyly, giving him a dazzling grin.
'Never mind,' he said, responding to her grin with one of his own.
'You've gotten better,' she praised offhandedly as she passed him.
'Wish I could say the same,' he said.
She whipped round to look at him, hurt and surprise written on her features. 'What's that supposed to mean?'
'It's not supposed to mean anything,' he said, 'You just ... you're fighting the same now as you did last time we trained together.' He caught the look on her face and said hurriedly, 'Buffy, you're still great ... still the strongest Slayer I've ever seen. You just haven't improved lately,' she still looked upset, and he exhaled in frustration, 'Oh, God, look ... it doesn't matter, okay? Forget about it.'
Buffy stood, feeling suddenly lonely. If she thought about it, she guessed she might not have impressed him as much as he'd blown her away ... she hadn't seen much action lately, and if she thought about it she might have been slacking off training just a bit. But when she had sparred, she'd always beaten Riley without much trouble, and the vamps were easy.
Okay, he was right. But he didn't have to call her on it.
**
Cordelia walked back into the mansion, preparing for a possible argument. She wanted to be in LA yesterday, and to get back there the Righ demon had to be dead.
She was in the presence of two of the world's top demon hunters. How hard could that be to manage?
'Angel!' she said, spotting him sitting on a couch reading an old book, 'Where's Buffy?'
'Here,' Buffy said, coming through from another room. Cordelia noticed that she was wearing less clothing than she had been, but chose not to comment on it.
'What is it?' Buffy asked, a little coldly, Cordelia thought. She plastered a smile on her face.
'The Powers That Be have decided to settle your little "I want to kill the demon no I want to kill the demon" spat by sending you both,' she declared.
'You had a vision?' Angel said.
'No, they appeared to me in the mozzarella on my cheese feast pizza,' Cordelia said dryly, 'Actually, that would have been preferable, at least I might have been able to keep it quiet ...'
'You were still in the restaurant?' Angel said sympathetically.
'Yep,' Cordelia said, 'And it was all very embarrassing so I don't want to talk about it.'
'Fine,' Buffy said. 'Think you can bring yourself to work with underachieving me?' she said acidly to Angel.
'Of course,' he said, affecting surprise, 'You need to swing by your house for weaponry?'
'Well, if you don't want me using yours ...' she sniped.
'That's not what I meant,' Angel said flatly, 'You're welcome to use anything. It's all upstairs.'
Buffy acknowledged him with a brief nod and went to check out the weapons he had brought.
'What's her problem?' Cordelia said idly.
'Just something I said,' Angel said absently, watching her go with regret.
***************
'Are you planning to conduct this entire hunt in silence?' Angel enquired, bored of the stony silence that Buffy had been keeping up since they left the mansion.
'Well, I need to concentrate,' she said without looking at him, 'Don't want to get killed because of inferior fighting skills.'
'That's not fair,' he said quietly, 'I didn't say your fighting skills were inferior, I know damn well they're not inferior to anything or anyone. I said you hadn't improved. Which is true.'
'It's not true!' she said, rounding on him, 'You stay away for a year and then come back and arbitrarily decide whether or not I've changed after one fight! Give me a chance!'
'Fine. I'm sorry. I'll reserve judgement in future,' he said, refusing to meet her eyes.
'And don't do that!' she said angrily.
'Now what?' he yelled, angry himself.
'Talk to me like a child! Treat me like a kid!' she shouted, a year's worth of built-up frustration with him spilling out.
'Please!' he scoffed.
'You do!' she yelled, 'When you left without asking me for any input? When you turned up here twice? You assume you know what's best!'
'Speaking of turning up, what about you?' he shouted back furiously, 'At least when I was wrong and came to you and apologised! You're so stuck into yourself you couldn't even give me that respect!'
They stared at each other wordlessly. Then Buffy turned away from him.
'I need a drink,' she said in an empty voice, heading towards the Bronze, wanting desperately to throw herself into his arms and sob out her love and sorrow, but knowing she had now solidified that option of release he had first denied her last summer.
Hearing her flat monotone, Angel desired nothing more than to take her into his arms and comfort her, reassuring her he would be around as long as she wanted him to be ... but he resisted, knowing she didn't even want him there now.
************
Buffy entered the Bronze with relief, allowing herself to be swallowed up by the crowd which bore her away from Angel and the confusion swirling in her at his presence.
Angel wasn't quite so lucky.
'Well!' said the familiar mocking British accent, 'If it isn't my misbegotten sire chasing after his misbegotten Slayer. Again.'
'Spike,' Angel said, and then turned to look over the platinum blond vampire, 'I hear you've gotten yourself in some trouble.'
Spike's face darkened and he swigged from the beer bottle he held loosely, 'You're worried. I'm touched.'
Angel reached forward, keeping his eyes on Spike's, and took the bottle easily, taking a mouthful himself, 'Not worried, Spike. Gloating. It's gotta be kind of a killer, thinking here I am, could kill any human I want but won't, and then there's you, who just ... can't cut it anymore.'
Spike glared at the older vampire, 'Yeah, you who hasn't had any for a good few years now, and me, who can get some any time I want.'
'Oh, but there's a long way between being able to get some and actually getting laid,' Angel taunted calmly, 'As I'm sure you've realised.'
Spike made a grab for the bottle, and Angel let him have it, laughing softly.
'Have a good night,' Angel said sarcastically before melting into the shadows. And blessedly away from one of the most regrettable deeds of his vampiric existence.
He was accosted only a couple of seconds later.
'Angel! What are you doing here? You should be out killing the demon!' Cordelia urged, 'So we can go home!'
'Buffy needed a drink,' he told her distractedly, realising he didn't know where Buffy had gone.
'Can't you just go without her?' Cordelia asked.
'But your vision ...' he said, looking at her.
'Oh, right!' Cordelia said hurriedly, 'Yeah. Both of you. In my vision. Bye.'
She moved away quickly, grabbing a random guy to drag him onto the dancefloor. Angel watched her suspiciously for a few moments, and then looked away, searching for Buffy in the crowd.
*************
'I do feel kind of better for getting it off my chest, though,' Buffy said doubtfully to Willow, discussing her fight with Angel.
'Of course you do!' Willow said comfortingly, 'But I don't think you should make reference to it ever again.'
'You think he's right, don't you?' Buffy said in disbelief.
'Maybe ... about some of it.' Willow wilted in the force of Buffy's glare, 'I just think he might be right about the, you know, training thing.'
'Oh,' Buffy said, 'Well, actually I kind of agreed with that one, but ...'
'Just go find him and fight the demon,' Willow suggested, 'And then deal with it.'
Buffy stared into space for a moment, 'I can do that.'
'Go, girl!' Willow cheered, then stopped as she got several funny looks.
**************
Buffy stood on the upper floor of the Bronze, leaning over the railing, unable to tell herself she wasn't looking for Angel.
'Hey,' he said tentatively.
She jumped slightly, and turned around, grasping onto the railing, taking comfort from it's cold solidity.
'Hi.' She smiled at him and was relieved when she got a half-smirk back; Angel's signature grin.
'I saw Riley down there ...' he ventured, 'Aren't you ...?'
Buffy laughed with a bitter inflection, 'No. We've had a little disagreement.'
'I'm sorry,' he said sincerely.
She laughed again, 'Yeah, sure.'
She felt, rather than saw, him stiffen, 'I don't like him, but ... if it hurts you, I'm sorry about it. You know that.'
'Mmmm,' she said sceptically, turning to lean over the railing and stare into the club again. She hated herself for bringing up him leaving again - though she hadn't mentioned it directly, she knew he would understand her meaning - but she couldn't seem to stop herself.
She stifled a gasp as she felt his large, strong body cover hers against the railing, pressing her into it as she leaned instinctively back into him. His hands gripped the railing on the outside of hers and his dark head bent towards hers.
'What's wrong with you, Buffy?' she heard him murmur into her ear, as if from a distance. 'Are you scared I'm going to make a pass? Or mad that I haven't?'
She turned in shock, but he didn't move away as she'd expected and she found herself pressed closely against the full length of his body. Though she told herself she should be moving, she made no effort to push him away and he made no indication he was going to move.
Still, she had to ... 'I'm with Riley,' she got out with difficulty, almost dizzy with the pleasure of having him so close. The words could have been "I love you", for all she knew.
She dimly registered his low, velvety laugh as his presence surrounded hers, strong and dominating.
'If I kissed you now,' he was murmuring into her ear, one leg pressed surely between hers, 'Would you push me away?'
'Yes,' she gasped, but her head was falling back to open her mouth to his and her eyes slid closed as she arched against him, wetting her lips in expectation of the well-remembered pressure of his mouth on hers, her grip tightening reflexively on the iron railing.
She heard that laugh again, very close to her ear, as his mouth closed around her earlobe and he sucked gently. Sensitised to his every touch, she drew in a breath sharply and moved against him in a silent plea for more.
Buffy whimpered when he pulled away, leaving her open and bereft, pausing only to lean in close and whisper silkily, 'Liar.'
She opened her eyes, confused and needy, only to see him going smoothly down the stairs without a backward glance. Trying to catch her breath, and her thoughts, she turned to look at the club floor again.
Her eyes met Riley's, looking up at her; from the expression of hurt and disbelief, but also resignation, having witnessed the entire display.
**************
Angel jogged down the stairs, seriously wondering if he'd gone mad. What had he been thinking? Pleasure, at her instant response to him, desire at her ...
No! Before that. When he'd practically attacked her. In a public club. With half of her friends and certainly her boyfriend present.
He was interrupted from his special-edition on-the-move brooding by Cordelia's whirlwind arrival at the bottom of the stairs.
'Angel - vision - Righ - youandBuffy - human - lotsofblood - trouble - ohgodair -' she panted out, clutching at her chest and looking up at him desperately.
Buffy moved quickly down the clattering stairs, half-noticing Cordelia and Angel whispering furiously by the wall, but needing to talk to Riley. She stopped on the second step to survey the club floor, noticing Riley walking hurriedly towards the exit. She cursed under her breath and rushed after him.
'Riley, wait!' she cried once outside.
He paused, then turned, and Buffy was suddenly lost for words.
'I -' she started.
'Stop,' he said, walking back to her, 'Was that going to be that you're sorry?'
'Yes,' she said desperately, 'I'm ...'
He cut her off again, 'Are you?'
Her mind working crazily, she stuttered, 'What?'
'All I want to do is hug you and tell you I forgive you and what you did is okay,' he said harshly. 'But all I can think of is that you didn't try to pull away from him.'
'I ...' Buffy repeated, taking in short, sharp gasps of air.
Hope blossomed on Riley's face, 'Did he force you?' he said urgently, grasping her arms, 'You couldn't get away?'
She pulled easily out of his grasp, feeling lost, the memories of what had happened on the balcony blurring in her mind. All she had to do was mumble "yes" and her world would be fine again. She and Riley would be safely ensconced in couplehood.
But it would be built on a lie.
'He didn't make me do anything,' she said quietly, brutally, 'In fact, I wanted him to do more.'
Riley squeezed his eyes shut in pain, then opened them again and stared at her, stepping forward, invading her space. She fought not to step away from him.
'But ... it's okay,' he insisted, 'I understand. We can work it out, get over this.'
Buffy stared at him in consternation, 'I don't think so, Riley. I'm sorry.'
He looked down for a moment, breathing hard, and when he looked back up at her his eyes were calm. 'I love you. And I want you. If you love me and you want me, we can get through it together. Please,' he pleaded.
Tears filled her eyes as she looked at him, hating to cause him such pain.
'I love you, Riley.' He brightened, a happy smile spreading across his face, changing to confusion when she stepped back from his open arms.
'But I've loved Angel since I first saw him,' she went on, 'And when I think that I'm trading him for you now ... when I consider that as long as I'm with you I'll never be with him again ... I can't.' A lone tear spilled across her cheek. Riley had his head down, unwilling to hear any more, but she felt galvanised into talking now, and she couldn't stop.
'I think that I'll never feel his lips on mine again, and it cripples me,' she said, telling him the truths she would never reveal to Angel, impatiently wiping more tears away, 'I realise that I won't be feeling his hands on me again and I die inside. I've made a life without him, but I still can't see myself dying anywhere but his arms. Do you understand?' she demanded roughly. 'Do you see that he's in me and I can't ever get away from that? We're for each other,' she said, her voice lapsing, 'And no matter how many times he breaks me, I can't ever walk away from him.'
She quieted, amazed by the depth of the feelings that had poured from her. It took her a moment to register Riley before her, speaking.
'Do you realise,' he was saying, 'That's the first time you've ever said you loved me?' He half-smiled crookedly, but Buffy, though sorry for his pain, already felt detached from both it and him.
'Goodbye, Riley,' she said softly. She lingered for a moment, then turned and walked briskly back into the club.
****************
'What do you mean, you had a vision?' Angel asked Cordelia in confusion, 'I thought you just had a vision.'
'Yes, well -' Cordelia said, stalling, then deciding to just go for it, 'That was actually a made-up vision. This was a real one.'
Angel's eyes narrowed, 'Made-up, in the sense that,'
'It didn't really happen, yes,' Cordelia said quickly, 'But can we let that slide and move on to my real vision?'
'What did you see?' he said, businesslike.
Cordy closed her eyes, trying to recapture the fleeting vision, 'Definitely you and Buffy ... that symbol again, another human on the wall. Same wall as last time.'
'One human?' she heard Angel ask.
'One human,' she verified, 'But two of the demons.'
'One each,' he muttered grimly.
He guided her over to the bar and sat her down, quickly ordering a glass of water and digging into his pockets to hand her two painkillers.
'We'll be back soon,' he assured her, already moving away to search the throng for Buffy.
'Be careful,' she called anxiously after him.
***************
Angel stood by the door, where it was a little quieter, and threw his senses open to the crowd, sorting expertly through the mess for her conspicuous "signature". She was close. Very close.
'What are you doing?' he heard her lovely voice ask in confusion.
He opened his eyes quickly. 'I was looking for you, Cordelia had a real ...' he took a hard look at her. She appeared fine to a casual onlooker, but she was flustered and a little upset '... Are you okay?'
'Fine,' she said, not bothering to hide her very not-fineness from him. 'Demons?'
He nodded wordlessly.
'Good,' she said. She took his hand to lead him out, and both tried not to react to the sizzling contact, 'I could do with some asses to kick.'
'In here?' Angel mouthed almost soundlessly to Buffy. She nodded, and he leaned up the outer wall of the warehouse to peer into the grimy window.
'Both in there,' he reported, 'And there's a guy ... I think he's alive. Less blood than Cordy had me thinking.'
She took that on board, working out their attack in her head. They'd be more efficient split up, if he went in through the front, where they were, and she snuck around the back for a surprise attack. She had just opened her mouth to tell him, when he said, 'I think we should split up. I'll go in here, and you go in from the back.'
He looked at her to check her reaction; she shut her mouth and smiled, 'You took the words right out of my mouth.'
He smiled back and silently indicated that she go.
'Be careful,' she said, part of her thrilling to be fighting alongside him again, but also a little reluctant to leave him.
'You too. I love you,' he said absently, checking the situation inside again.
She froze, suddenly feeling happier than she had in about a year.
'What is it?' he said, noting her lack of movement.
'Nothing,' she said reassuringly. When she was sure he was focusing on the upcoming fight again, she dared to whisper her returned love before slipping flawlessly into the shadows.
*****************
Angel gripped a sturdy knife in his left hand and mentally reviewed how the fight could go, giving Buffy time to get into position. When he judged he'd given her enough time, he moved silently just in front of the door, and then blew out air he didn't need and leaped into a spinning kick, landing precisely on target and splintering the door. Without conscious thought, he plunged through, and as the first demon rushed at him, he held his position and prepared to fight, sparing a thought for his blonde Slayer and her safety.
*****************
By the time Buffy heard the door crash open, she was already moving, her body taking over on smooth autopilot.
Go in. Check situation fast.
Angel doing good. Human still groaning.
She smiled inwardly and leapt into the battle; or slaughter was probably more apt. The demons were really showing that they were usually peaceful types.
*****************
Angel realised that suddenly he was only fighting one demon, and from the sounds of enthusiastic whaling beside him, Buffy had joined the fray.
The Righ wasn't difficult to kill, especially one-on-one, and Angel finished his opponent quickly and cleanly. He noted with pleasure that for all his comments about Buffy's fighting skills, they were not dimmed in battle; she killed the other demon with a neat snap of the neck mere seconds after he despatched his.
She stood for a moment, catching her breath and regrouping, then turned to him with an infectious grin, which he returned. He'd forgotten what a delight she was to hunt with; the cool skill and unexpected elegance of her as she fought was a sight burned into his brain. Though he knew well what more she was than simply being the Slayer, he knew also that her talent in combat was in a way the essence of her, bestowing a confidence in herself and poise unusual in a woman her age.
'Not exactly the hardest fight I've ever had,' she commented dryly.
'No ...' he responded, watching her with admiration.
'What?' she said coyly, noticing him staring.
'What?' he said innocently.
'You were staring,' she said teasingly, a little surprised at herself. It had been a long time since "flirting" had been on her mental tally of Stuff To Do With Angel.
'I would have thought you'd be used to it,' he said seductively, and she preened in his gaze.
A loud groan turned their attention to the young man still captured on the wall in chains, and Angel immediately went over there.
Buffy followed a beat later, inwardly resigning herself to the mood being broken.
**************
Angel helped the guy, whose name was Kyle, as he'd told them amid many thanks, into the hospital solicitously. Reluctant to attract too much attention to himself, he gave in Kyle's name to the desk, and then left the ER without going back to check on the guy. If he and Buffy were lucky, they wouldn't be remembered.
He rejoined Buffy, idly swinging her legs as she sat on a wall outside the hospital. He sniffed the air out of habit, realising he still had a few hours before the sun rose.
His eyes fell on the beauty waiting for him with a lovely smile on her face, and he tried not to think about just how he could spend them.
'So ...' she said when he reached her, walking away from the hospital as he matched his long strides to her shorter ones.
'Yeah,' he replied, and they fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes.
'I guess you'll be leaving soon,' Buffy said tentatively, not daring to look at him in case her eyes revealed just how much she wanted him to say no.
'We'll probably leave tomorrow,' he said, not breaking stride, 'It's kind of late.'
It wasn't 'kind of' late at all, Buffy knew. In fact, it wasn't any kind of late. She tried to stop a silly grin spreading across her face as she figured out he was stalling, maybe wanting to put off leaving her as much as she wanted him to?
Or he didn't want to drive back tonight, she thought glumly. Or Cordelia wasn't packed. Or Wesley wanted to compare notes with Giles. or any one of a hundred reasons which were probably right which had nothing to do with her at all.
'Want Sunnydale back to yourself again?' he said, joking, but his tone betrayed a deeply held pain.
'No, no,' she said, more quickly than was cool, 'It's fine. Stay as long as you want. Stay forever. Feel free.' She realised she was about to trip headlong into babble mode, and from there she might go into share, and from there she might go - God. Stop *now*.
Preoccupied, she stumbled slightly in the dark, and Angel caught her elbow to steady her.
'Thanks,' she said, disconcerted as the move brought her flush against his body.
'Be careful,' he said, his words like a caress, and as they continued walking he told himself it was to keep her steady when his hand slid down to her arm to twine his fingers with hers, and it was to keep herself up that she immediately gripped his hand tightly.
'And then he just went?' Willow said with interest.
'Just left,' Buffy pouted, 'Kissed me on the cheek, told me take care, can you believe it, and went on his merry way.'
'He's probably worried about you giving him a punch if he tries anything,' Willow speculated, 'Did you tell him you've broken up with Riley?'
'Well, no,' Buffy said.
Willow gave her an exasperated look and Buffy shrugged lamely.
'Then he was doing a good thing,' Willow said, 'Didn't you go after him?'
'I so wanted to,' Buffy confided, 'But I was scared he'd just pat me on the head or something and tell me to go home.'
'Angel would never do that to you,' Willow advised, 'He might have swept you into his arms and you'd have had a happy ever after.'
'And I'd never know if he would have come back for me himself,' Buffy said, 'I don't want to be with him because I begged him.'
'But wouldn't you just be with him, no matter what the reason?' Willow said.
'Not anymore,' Buffy said, sighing, 'If there's one thing Riley taught me, it's that I don't want a guy at the expense of myself. Even Angel.'
'I'm proud of you, Buffy' Willow said sincerely.
'Really?' Buffy said hopefully.
'Yeah,' Willow said, 'That shows a very mature attitude.'
'Yeah, well,' Buffy said, her buoyant mood dissipating, 'That'll have to do because he's going to go and he's never going to know and I'm going to be celibate for the rest of my life. I'm resigned,' she finished calmly.
They were interrupted by a knock at the door, and Willow's eyes went to Buffy, a large grin spreading across her face.
'It's day, Will,' Buffy said pointedly, going to answer it. She returned a moment later with Giles, who immediately sat down and pulled out a piece of paper covered in Wesley's neat handwriting. He began to speak quickly.
'We found this rather interesting fact about Righ demons which you may need to ...'
Buffy fake-yawned and got up.
'Where are you going?' Giles said in surprise.
'To remove everything short, tight and plunging from my closet,' she threw lightly over her shoulder, heading upstairs.
Confused, Giles looked at Willow.
'They killed the demons last night,' she explained sympathetically.
'Oh. Well, then,' Giles said, gathering up his paper and preparing to leave.
'You can tell me about the Righ,' Willow offered, partly curious and partly feeling a little sorry for the ex-Watcher.
'Alright,' he said, sitting down again eagerly, 'It appears that they exude some kind of pheremone to make their human prey docile,' he sighed and removed his glasses to clean them. 'I was going to warn Buffy because it has the opposite effect on, um, supernatural creatures, causing behavioural changes, making them more aggressive, increasing feelings of negativity, possibly irrational ...' he trailed off. 'Buffy hasn't displayed any of those that you know of, has she?'
'No,' Willow said, frowning, 'Well, not really. But the pheremone - it sounds like the substance secreted by some species of Enakad demons.'
Giles' eyes lit up, 'Why, you're absolutely correct. Possibly there is a relationship ...'
**************
Cordelia gathered Angel's clothes together, shoving them haphazardly into a case, ignoring the sleeping vampire tossing on the bed behind her.
'Buffy,' she heard him mumble distinctly. She whipped around, wtching him carefully. Then she realised he was still asleep, and dreaming. A large smile played across his lips, and she took a moment to admire the rare expression.
She shut her eyes for a moment, sorry for his waking pain that brought a tinge of sorrow to his eyes and a rueful tinge to his laugh, then dismissed it and continued packing.
**************
When Giles left, Willow sat aimlessly for a few minutes, wondering if she should go and talk to Buffy about her new vow off-men. Or at least help her decide what constituted too attractive for her new wardrobe.
Her eyes fell on the phone and she smiled. If her instincts were right, she could do something that would help Buffy a lot more ...
She picked up the phone and dialled the familiar number.
'Hi, Cordelia. It's Willow. I was just wondering, how's Angel today?'
**************
Buffy was woken from her nap by a sharp knock at the door. Realising Willow had already left, she debated ignoring it, but eventually dragged herself from her comfortable bed and went to answer the door, aided on the way by a series of loud, frenzied attacks on the door. 'Cordy,' she said sleepily, 'What do you ...'
Cordelia pushed past her, heading for the living area with its couches.
'Nice to see you too,' Buffy mumbled, following her through and running her fingers through her hair.
'I'm going to just get right to it,' Cordelia said flatly. 'I'm on a mission of mercy. You know that while I admire and am grateful for and to your slaying skills, we've never totally clicked as people. Especially over Angel, as I don't think you're good for him. But I've been overruled, so sit down and listen quietly.'
Buffy remained standing stubbornly and opened her mouth to argue, but a look from Cordelia quelled her and she flopped onto the couch, indicating for Cordelia to begin.
Cordelia paced in front of her like an agitated cat, then turned to face her.
'One,' she began, ticking off purposefully on her fingers, 'You madly want to be back with Angel.'
Buffy began to protest, but Cordelia forstalled her sharply, 'Look, Willow told me, keep quiet.' Buffy subsided, a sullen look on her face.
'Two,' Cordy continued, 'Ange has spent the day sleeping or moping around, with a brief period of brightness when I happened to mention that you and Riley were no longer officially an "us".' Buffy cheered noticeably.
'Three,' Cordelia finished triumphantly, 'According to another old, dusty prophecy, one day in the not-so-distant future, old dusty Angel will become youngish, human Angel, so -'
She was cut off by Buffy's ecstatic squeal and enthusiastic hug. Despite herself, Cordy couldn't help but hug her back, her obvious delight gratifying and wonderful to witness.
*************
Angel easily tossed the heavy cases into the car, trying not to think about how easy it would be to just jog around to Buffy's house, take her in his arms, and not let her go. Even for college.
'Careful with that bag!' Cordelia shrieked, then asked, 'Ready?' She looked cooly perfect in the dim light.
'Nearly,' Angel replied, 'We can go as soon as Wesley gets here.'
'Wesley is here,' the man in question said smoothly, arriving with his own bags and throwing them in beside Angel's.
'So we can go,' Angel said, trying unsuccessfully to banish Buffy's face from his thoughts once more.
'No!' Cordelia said quickly, trying to peer over his shoulder.
'No?' he said sceptically, turning to try and see what she was looking at.
'Not yet,' she blurted, 'I just want to ... bask ... a little more in Sunnydale's atmosphere.'
'You hate Sunnydale's atmosphere,' Wesley pointed out.
'Yes, I do,' she said, 'But, still, I grew up here, and so I don't think it's completely unreasonable that I might want to -' her eyes grew big, and she said quickly, 'You know, you're right, Wesley. We should get in the car now.'
She hustled the protesting man into the back seat quickly, then climbed in after him, shushing him urgently.
Angel stood for a few moments, confused, then turned to go around and get into the car himself.
'I'm not late, right?' he heard Buffy say. He froze for a second, then turned around disbelievingly.
She was standing in front of him, looking as beautiful as he'd ever seen her, wearing a wide, brittle grin.
'Wh,' Angel started, but no sound came out. He tried again, 'What?'
'I'm coming with you,' Buffy said innocently, heaving her case into the trunk of the convertible.
'But - I - why -' Angel stammered, hardly daring to hope she was serious.
'Well, Cordy mentioned you were getting bored of her floor, and I thought I should have some input on where we'll be living after you shanshu, so ... coming,' she said in a rush, afraid to look at him despite the confidence in her bubbly tone.
She felt his cool fingers beneath her chin, tipping her head up so her eyes looked fearfully into his. She blinked, once, her erratic breathing giving her away.
And then her eyes instinctively closed as she felt the devastating pressure of his cool, beloved lips on hers and the wonderful familiarity of his muscled arms as they slid firmly around her back, catching her and holding her tightly in an embrace she somehow knew she would never have to long for again.
... in one sense. The story does end there, with our hero and heroine finally locked safe and happy in each other's arms, never to be parted again. But in another sense, it ends (and begins) four years later, when the many battles of the End of Days are almost over, and Angel is teetering on the brink of his death and rebirth as a human, when he will step proudly into the light with the strongest Slayer ever on his arm as his destined mate.
So I wrote an epilogue < g >.
FOUR YEARS LATER
Buffy leaned up on her elbow in the oversized bed she shared with Angel, watching her lover sleep peacefully.
Seven years since they'd met. Six years since they'd first made love. Five years since he'd left her; and four since they'd come back together. Three since the curse had been adapted to remove the happiness clause. Two since they'd started living together full time. One since Willow and Tara, working as High Priestesses, had blessed their union as a marriage.
Mere hours before they might be split apart until they were reunited in the next world; or until they would be starting life as a human couple.
Unbidden tears filled Buffy's eyes and she reached for Angel, needing to feel his cool skin. She caressed his cheek with the lightest of touches; closing her eyes and skimming her fingers across his closed eyes, forehead, cheeks, memorising the shape of him.
She moved her fingers over his lips, gently, and was shocked when one of them was pulled into his mouth and sucked gently. He eyes flew open, and she smiled with love and relief at Angel, who let her fingers slide away, bringing his hand up to clasp hers reassuringly, his thumb stroking the back of her hand.
Buffy continued looking into his eyes, feeling her fear and doubt slide away at his devoted expression.
'Worrying, love?' he murmured softly.
She nodded, a little sheepishly, and allowed him to pull her with him as he lay down. She pillowed her head on his bare chest, flinging an arm comfortably across his torso. He stroked her hair soothingly.
'I want this so much, Angel,' she whispered into the silence, 'And I just can't help thinking, what if it doesn't happen? What if I lose you?'
He didn't answer, and she craned her head to look up at him. 'I'm sorry,' she said earnestly, 'I know you really don't need to hear this now ...'
He stopped her with a firm finger across her lips, 'I'm scared too, Buffy.'
She sniffled and nestled closer to him.
'But,' he continued, 'I believe in our ability to do this, and I know,' he said, staring deeply into her eyes, 'That this is our reward.'
She smiled and leaned up to kiss him softly on the lips. He pulled her on top of him and returned the kiss, nibbling across her lower lip and sweeping his tongue into her mouth to meet hers when she instantly responded.
'We've earned each other, Buffy,' he went on with conviction, pressing his forehead to hers, 'No strings, no conditions. Just us.'
She smiled again, leaning down, her hair sweeping across his neck and chest, 'Just us?' she said affectionately, kissing the tip of his nose.
'For now,' he said with a dangerous smile, suddenly twisting, throwing her beneath him. She squealed in mock shock and twined her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her again for a passionate kiss that left her breathless.
'I love you,' she breathed softly, arching up to him, eyes closed.
'I love you,' he answered quietly, hands skimming along her body and leaving her in no doubt he was telling the absolute truth.
**************
The Oracles that had replaced the two Angel had originally met watched the Slayer and her vampire lover curl together in bed, whispering to each other, putting everything else aside to share their love before facing their final battle. Though originally distrustful of both Angel and Buffy, the divine pair, over many meetings, had developed a soft spot for the star-crossed couple.
'It is time, brother,' the female said quietly.
'Yes,' the male agreed. 'But they are ready.'
'It bothers me to be unable to see an outcome,' she told him, eyes never wavering from the couple sleeping entwined.
'Then it is not for us to know,' he reminded her.
'They have pleased the Powers That Be many times over the years,' she remarked.
'And they will be rewarded,' he assured her.
**************
When Buffy awoke with a start, and felt Angel's mind spring to shocked life beside her, she knew that it was time.
Wordlessly, she reached into the cabinet beside the bed and opened a drawer, bringing out a bundle of letters and arranging them in front of her.
Willow and Tara. Xander and Caitlin. Giles and Olivia. Cordelia and Gunn. Wesley. Tanya, the Slayer called after Faith's death two years ago, who would be fighting with them. Buffy grimaced affectionately as she gently touched the one addressed to Spike, and tears came to her eyes as she gently kissed the useless letter to Joyce and replaced it in the drawer. Angel's arm slid around her shoulders and she leaned into him gratefully, giving and recieving strength.
'I'm glad they're safe,' she said, breaking the eerie silence, 'But I wish they were here, as well.'
There was nothing Angel could say, so he simply held her tighter, reassuring her of his presence through the skin contact.
'Please,' she implored, looking up to the heavens, 'Let them be able to get these.'
'We'll be talking to them,' Angel told her firmly, and she took comfort in his assuredness.
They held each other tightly until they knew, somehow, that it was happening.
They dressed silently and quickly, exchanging little touches and kisses as they went, eager for the feel of each other.
***************
Buffy went first, Angel constrained by the slowly setting sun for a short time still. She was almost out of sight when she hesitated, turned and ran back, jumping on him, wrapping her legs around his waist and holding him as they kissed fiercely, their bodies cleaving together, both of them losing themselves once more in the other and their bond of love. Her hands roamed over his shoulders and back, his caught in her blonde hair, desperate for touch.
And then she jumped down from him, and their eyes locked, both of them searching for and finding love, hope, reassurance.
'I love you,' he said simply.
'I love you,' she responded.
'I'll see you soon,' they both said at the same time, smiling a little.
And then Buffy turned away again, with one last look at the man whose destiny shared so much with hers.
***************
Both thought of the other as their individual fights began, sending love down the line that connected them, knowing instinctively the other would feel it.
Then they had no time to think of anything apart from self- preservation. Both were aided by supernatural creatures of the Powers That Be, and a smattering of good demons, humans and magic- users, but they knew that they fought as the challengers; that they were the targets the Old Ones wished to destroy.
Angel fought armies of vampires, his own game face evident.
Buffy faced dozens of demons, some familiar, most strange.
Angel cut through sorcerors, many inflicting wounds that were not affected by his quick healing skills.
Buffy tirelessly attacked the demon onslaught, numbing herself when she saw her sister Slayer fall, sending out a random call and almost crying with relief when she felt Angel, in pain and distracted, but alive, answer her.
And then finally, there seemed to be a lull, and as Buffy looked around, grateful but confused, she felt an indescribable dual rush of peace and terror, and before she passed out, she thought she made out glowing figures meeting in the centre of the battlefield.
*************
The Oracles anxiously watched their masters and enemies fight on a plane no mortal could comprehend. Their role was to observe only, and they had been told they had no place in the fight.
Yet they watched; they saw the extraordinary conflict, and witnessed its resolution, the Powers That Be triumphantly retaining their hold on the dimension and the Old Ones and their demon kindred banished to the lower realms for a thousand years of peace.
Then the Oracles turned their attention to the battlefield, where the former Slayer struggled to her feet and began the desperate search for her mate, knowing only that the war was over and won.
*************
Buffy hunted frantically for Angel, ignoring the pain she felt, closing it off and concentrating on calling for him deep in her mind.
As she kept looking, unable to see him, receiving no answer, she sobbed in fear and dread, but stumbled on, blindly searching.
She felt arms catch her, steady her.
'Angel -' she mumbled in rapture, turning to burrow blindly into the figure, but it held her gently but firmly away, and she opened her eyes blearily in confusion.
'You,' she said faintly, pulling away and swaying on her feet, 'What are you -'
'We are here to bid you farewell,' the female said, standing proud with her brother, a vision of otherworldly beauty on a bloody, wrecked expanse.
'You have served well,' her brother added, 'It has been the pleasure of the Powers That Be to have had you with them as a warrior.
Buffy heard the words, but ignored them, 'Please,' she said pleadingly, weakly, 'Just tell me where he is.'
The Oracles exchanged significant looks; the final test had been posed and passed easily.
The field seemd to revolve. Buffy fell to her knees, and when she opened her eyes, she was next to her lover. She gave a cry of ecstasy and knelt over him, afraid to hurt him by leaping on him as she so wished to do.
'We're gonna be okay,' she said in delighted disbelief, whether to him or herself she wasn't sure.
'You have earned this,' the female said, smiling with pleasure at the sight of such blatant love, 'Be happy.'
'We will,' Buffy assured her with shining eyes, looking fondly down at Angel again, 'We will.'
The Oracles smiled and shimmered away, leaving the faint glow of sunrise.
Buffy gasped and her glance flew to Angel; if his shanshu hadn't occured, and she had no evidence but the Oracles that it had, heartbeat still not present, he would be dead in a matter of minutes and there was nowhere she could take him to prevent it.
Buffy sank to a crouch, laying half over his body, and closed her eyes, fervently praying.
As she felt the sun spill warmth over her body, she clutched at Angel desperately.
And heard an unfamiliar sound. A heartbeat.
She sat up, reaching a trembling hand to him, resting it gingerly on his chest. Tears of happiness rolled unstoppably down her cheeks as she felt the definite, regular heartbeat. She roughly shoved his shirt aside and splayed her hand over his heart.
He was warm, and as her fingers tightened convulsively, she looked reflexively up to his face and noted joyfully that he was taking regular, deep breaths.
His shanshu, the only thing Buffy had wanted in life since the day Cordelia told her of it, was complete.
And nothing held them apaprt, made them different to other couples, to each other, for she instinctively knew her Slayer powers were also gone.
'Why are you crying?' she heard his familiar, beloved voice ask gently, and she shook her head and opened her eyes, gazing down at him in wonder, watching the sunlight play across his face, his smile, his hand as he caressed her arm.
'You're so beautiful ...' he said, his voice full of awe.
'I love you,' Buffy said, swiftly moving to lie on top of him.
'I love you,' he said in eager reply, and his lips found hers easily, and her fingers twisted in his hair and his stroked her back.
*************
Buffy and Angel made love in the dawn, sunlight dancing over their joined bodies and joined souls, promising each other everything their new world could offer.
And they lived happily ever after. But you didn't need me to tell you that.
Send feedback to Esmerelda
Back to the Fanfiction Archive