Disclaimer: Joss & Co. owns the heartbreaking scene this fic is set during. I toke quotes from the following episodes: IWRY, IHEOFY, Forever, Anne, and Becoming part 2.
Summery: Buffy's POV during the `stare at each other' scene in Graduation part 2. Angsty. NOT AN IWRY FIC.
Spoilers: Up to Graduation part 2.

He's standing there. Just standing there. Maybe he's trying to stare a hole through me. I'm waiting for him to step forward. Why is he just standing there?

I know he said he'd leave after graduation... So why isn't he here, with me, saying goodbye and then disappearing into the night? Why is he just staring at me?

It's like he knows he's never going to see me again, so he's memorizing every detail.

*Oh God.*

He isn't going to say goodbye, is he? I'm never going to hear his voice again, am I?

The mist starts to swirl around him, hiding him from me.

I can't blink. I know if I do, that's when he'll leave; the moments while my eyes are closed.

*Close your eyes.*

Why isn't he going to say goodbye? Don't I deserve that much? Don't I deserve at least a nod?

No! It's not enough time! I can't memorize every detail about him in only the moments I have left.

He has to say goodbye.

*I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget.* I cry over and over in my head.

I know my face is a mask. I want it to be.

*No. No. No. No. No!*

Painstaking slowly he takes a step back. And another.

Now his back is to me. I can barely even see that much of him, there's so much smoke.

*Come back to me! Always! You said always! I'm your girl! Come back! Angel...*

I almost take a step. The only thing I've ever wanted is about to disappear forever.

*Forever... That's the whole point. I'll never leave.*

He never said that to me. I dreamt it. Now he'll never say it to me.

All I have to do is take a step forward. That's all I have to do.

*It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter what I feel.*

*Forever? Does forever work for you?*

But I don't.

And he's gone.

I think part of me left with him.

I hate this! I hate him! I hate myself!

I hate that I have to go on. I hate that it's over. I hate...

But I'm not allowed to hate. I'm the Slayer. I don't have time to hate.

I don't have time to cry, either.

It has to be this way. I can't have what I want. I never could.

*It's over. It has to be.*

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