Disclaimer: I don't own 'em. If I did I would be a frell of a lot NICER to them!
Author's Notes: The song is "Ice Cream" by Sarah
McLachlan, it was just so perfect I couldn't resist. IWRY angst-fluff.
Feedback: PLEASE!
"I love ice cream," Buffy sighed, rescuing the hastily abandoned carton-make that very hastily abandoned, as Angel had put it aside when Buffy decided to lick some of the ice cream off of him. "Even if it is all melted."
"I love it more," Angel growled, sitting up lazily and capturing the spoon between his lips before it could reach hers. She made a face at him, so dizzy with happiness that nothing could shake her. Nothing at all. It was like a dream, one she'd had ten zillion times.but better.
"Do not," she teased petulantly, capturing his mouth, sucking the last of the cookie dough fudge mint chip from his tongue.
"But you know what I love even better?" he whispered as she sat back against the wall, her legs curled over him, one hand playing in his hair, unable to give up contact for even a second. It had been so long. Too long. But they'd never be apart again. Never.
"What?" Buffy whispered, her eyes serious and intent on him drinking in his face, the warmth of his skin against her, the movement of his chest as he breathed in and out, in and out.
"You."
your love is better than ice cream
better than anything else that I've tried
and your love is better than ice cream
everyone here know how to fight
Buffy's eyes filled with unexpected tears. He'd said it so few times.she knew it of course, she always knew it, but.But to look into his dark eyes and hear him actually whisper the words made her feel like soaring. Like dancing in the sunlight with him forever. The other times he'd said it.once, when they first made love, before he turned evil and changed her soul forever, and once, when he was leaving her. But this.there was nothing between them now. Just happiness. Just each other.
She knew how to hurt. She knew very, very well, how to fight. How to feel pain. How to be miserable.
Know she was going to learn-they were both going to learn-how to be happy. How to love.
"You taste better than any ice cream ever invented lover," she whispered, half in earnest and half playful, sensual, leaning forward to kiss him again. He kissed the unfallen tears from her eyes, tasted the salty bitterness with the sweetness of her lips. Tears for all the pain they'd been through, and for all the joy they'd found together.
and it's a long way down
it's a long way down
it's a long way down to the place
where we started from
Later, as the candles they'd lit burned low and night stole over them sweetly, quietly, they talked about the past and about the future.
"I was so hurt, so bitter," Buffy murmured, her fingers tapping his chest to the rhythm of his heart. "I never hated you, but I wanted to."
"Because I left you?" Angel asked, capturing the fingers, drawing them up to his lips, kissing them each softly.
"Because I couldn't," she replied. "Because I loved you so much and I couldn't stop, I could never stop. So I wanted to hate you instead. But I could never do that either."
"I just wanted you to be happy," Angel murmured. Her arm, released, curled around his neck and she shifted her weight, curling herself around him more.
"I know love. And you were right. You were right that we could never have had a normal relationship, never could have had a truly happy life together. But we can now. That's all that matters. We can now."
"And we will," he promised. "A thousand perfect days. I just wish I could take back all the imperfect ones."
"Why?" Buffy asked softly, propping herself up on his chest to look him in the eye. "Why would you take them back?"
"Because you don't deserve any unhappy days, and I gave you far too many."
"But without them, how would I ever know how perfect this is, right now?" Buffy asked, stroking his face lightly. "To know true happiness, you have to have true despair. And now I've had both. With you."
"Am I wrong to wish I could take back the despair, and make your life perfect and happy always? I can't help it," Angel explained. "You deserve sunshine and roses and everything amazing in this world." Buffy shook her head slightly, and then laid it down on his chest, listening to the thump-thump of his heart, reveling in the sound. This was joy, pure joy. Laying in his arms, listening to the beating of his heart, knowing that it would beat like that forever. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
"Maybe I do," she whispered. "Maybe everyone does. But I take what I can get. This one day of perfection means more to me than a hundred thousand days of unhappiness. And everyone has both. That's what being human is. That's what living is."
"And now we're both living," Angel agreed. "Together."
your love is better than chocolate
better than anything else that I've tried
oh love is better than chocolate
everyone here knows how to cry
"Together," Buffy agreed. She lifted her head to look at him, her eyes filling with tears again, though she didn't know why.
"Shh," he whispered. "None of that. No crying. You've already done enough for a lifetime.
"And you haven't?" Buffy laughed softly. "But these are tears of joy. I'm happy Angel. I've never been this happy. I never even knew I could feel like this. I've never loved anyone, anything as much as I love you."
His eyes were serious, and deep and so sweet it made her cry all the more, though she smiled as she did. She couldn't help smiling. Everything inside her was singing.
"Not even ice cream?" he teased quietly, gently. "Not even chocolate?"
"Nothing," she swore, and bent to kiss him again, the bittersweet taste of tears blending once more into the sweet perfection of the kiss, reminding them of everything that had come before, of the long journey it had taken to come to this place, of the road ahead of them still. A road forward, a road up. Away from pain and confusion and heartache, and straight into heaven.
it's a long way down
it's a long way down
it's a long way down to the place
where we started from...
"You said you were moving towards a good thing," Angel said the next morning as they curled in bed together, holding tightly for more reasons than there had been the next day. "Did you mean that?"
"No," Buffy replied immediately, then smiled ruefully at herself. "Yes, I did at the time. But I meant.well, before yesterday, my idea of a 'good thing' was entirely different than it is now. It was like I lived in a whole different world. I never even imagined the kind of perfection I've found here with you Angel." She didn't mention the Mohra. Neither did he.
"But you were reasonably happy," he asked, sitting up slightly. She sat up, clutching at him with eyes suddenly fierce.
"No," she said firmly. "That's not what I meant. I was reasonably happy for a girl who never knew what happiness was! Looking back on that.I don't think I was even really alive."
He watched her with dark eyes, and then smiled suddenly, sweetly, and she felt her fears melt away. He was human, and everything would be all right. Perfect. Everything would be perfect.
"I love you," he whispered, cupping her face with his hands. "More than anything. More than food. More than sunshine. More than being alive."
"I know," Buffy whispered, her eyes alight with love and joy and all the perfection in the world. "I know."
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