Rings

Rings

Disclaimer: I don't own them! They belong to Joss Whedon, the WB, Fox, Mutant Enemy, etc. etc.
Author's Notes: This is the sequel to my fic "Vows" I would advise reading that first. I walked a really fine line in this fic, because I wanted it to be B/A without…being B/A…Anyway, I'm sorry if you guys aren't happy with the result. I am fanatically B/A, in case anyone's wondering…The song is "A Time For Letting Go" by Michael Bolton.
Dedication: To Jewel...I'm sorry I haven't been working on the sequel...forgive me?

//Sometimes you find out what you wanted
Isn't really what you need
And the dream in all its promise
Was never meant to be
All your hopes and desperation
Won't make it like it was
And you believe the pain will never end
Believe me in time it does//

There was an entire table in the Summers household devoted to wedding presents. The packages were of all sizes—the largest was the size of a big-screen TV and the smallest was reminiscent of a jewelry box. Buffy didn't even know who they were all from—Garric had a very large family.

"Admiring your booty?" he asked, coming up behind her and linking his arms around her waist. She made a face.

"Oh yeah, I'm just so thrilled about the entire household full of things I didn't pick out! I don't know what you have against registration."

"It's impersonal," Garric protested.

"It's matching." Buffy glanced at her watch, pulled away in quick horror. "You're gonna be late for your bachelor party."

"I thought we'd make it a party of two," Garric purred, pulling her back. Laughing, she pushed him away, towards the door.

"Go. Now. And don't you dare get yourself a hangover or I'd have to kill you before I could marry you."

"Aye aye captain," Garric replied with a salute. Buffy pushed him out the door and closed it behind them, then turned back to regard her gifts. Wedding gifts. She was getting married the next day. What an odd thought…

Buffy drifted forward, running her hand over boxes of various sizes, until it paused, hovering over a small brown package, with familiar writing on it. Not thinking, she picked it up and opened the end, spilling the unwrapped contents into her hand. The letter was addressed to her, not to Garric. Just to her. And there was a ring box.

She knew who it was from. And suddenly the thought of getting married the next day was much farther away.

//You've gotta know when love is over
You've gotta learn to carry on
And with the world upon your shoulders
You walk away when hope is gone
When your golden road has reached the end
You find a way to start again you know
There's a time for love a time for letting go//

When Angel broke up with her for the second time, she'd thought her life was over. The first time she'd been basically all right—Angel slipped away immediately after a huge battle, not to mention her graduation, and she hadn't really had time to think about it. Besides, part of her always believed it wasn't over. For years she thought that…her rational mind told her they would never be together, but her heart didn't believe her.

Three years later they had to work together, to fight together…and Buffy realized how much she loved him. How much she needed him. She'd gone to his apartment in the middle of the night and fallen into his waiting arms.

And then he rejected her.

It wasn't "for her own good" this time…it was for his. For both of them. He made it perfectly, horribly clear that he had gotten on with his life, and she should do that same. He proved beyond doubt that he was having a better life without her. He didn't say he didn't love her—Buffy doubted he could—but he smashed whatever hope she had once had of an eventual reunion.

She'd gone home and cried for days. For weeks she'd been depressed, uninterested in hanging out with friends or doing, well…anything. Eventually she'd come to terms with the fact it was over with Angel. She'd loved him, and still did…but she needed to have a life. So she made an attempt to begin dating again, and eventually she met Garric.

It was hard. It hurt. But life didn't end because she could never be with the man she loved. Life went on. And Buffy refused to be left behind. The world needed her to be strong, and Buffy needed to world just as much.

Which didn't mean that her heart didn't contract at seeing his handwriting. It didn't mean that when she opened the letter and read his words, she didn't blink her eyes a little too rapidly or bite her lip or sit down on the floor, leaning against the wall. And when his first words were, Congratulations, I am happy for you, she could admit to herself that it still hurt.

//When you're standin' tall tomorrow
Looking back at yesterday
Through the memory of your sorrow
How the dawn was so far away
You'll be far beyond the shadow
Where hearts can learn to shine
And you'll realize the endless night
Was only a moment in time//

I can't come to the wedding, I'm sorry. I would enjoy meeting Garric and seeing everyone again, but duty calls and I am previously engaged for that day.

Buffy closed her eyes briefly, reading the second line. He wasn't coming. He wasn't coming. Well, what had she expected? First of all, he hadn't RSVPed the normal way, so they didn't have a seat reserved for him. Besides, why would he want to come? If he did still care about her, it could be painful for him. And if he didn't…well then what was the point? It was probably better this way anyway. If Angel was there Buffy might be distracted…at times she wondered if she was insane to even have invited him. It would have been the crowning touch though…The one last thing proving this was perfect, this was the right thing. If she could have Angel at her wedding, and still be happy, then she could put aside any last regrets.

Not that she had any. Really. It was just…what-ifs. She loved Garric, and she was happy, and the long depressing days after she broke up with Angel seemed like nothing now, just a remote moment in time. At the time it had seemed like forever, stuck in a mire of misery and self-pity…but looking back, it was only a moment, one moment lost before she realized she couldn't afford to lose any. It had led her here, and she was happy now. She was getting married the next day. In a few minutes Willow, Tara and Anya would be here to put her hair in curlers and keep her up late with girltalk.

It was better this way. It was.

As to the past…well, it's just that, the past. Times goes on. I am glad I was proved right. I knew there was happiness waiting for you in the world. You're just that kind of person. I hope your life turns out as perfect as they come. Drop me a card if you have any children…I hope you do. The world needs more little Buffys. Laugh as much as possible. Love your husband. Call me if you ever feel like it.

I'll always love you,
Angel

The card fluttered to the floor as Buffy drew in a deep breath, confronted with that last line. It used to be so hard for him to say that. In all the time they dated, he'd only said it…twice? Three times maybe? And here, it was put in so casually…because he'd changed? Or because it didn't mean so much to him anymore?

He wanted her to have a perfect life. No one could have a perfect life. "I'll try," Buffy whispered to her empty hall. "I'll try Angel. For you."

She took a deep breath and picked up the small box, noticing as she did a small piece of paper. She unfolded it and read: I found this a long time ago. Give it to your daughter someday. Remember me. And just as she'd known, seeing the package, she knew now. She almost couldn't open it, couldn't see that, but she forced herself to, to see it again, to remember all those feelings it had always brought.

Her claddagh ring was inside. Years and years ago she had left it on the mansion floor the night Angel came back from Hell. She'd never found it again.

He gave it to her on her seventeenth birthday, the day they made love for the first and only time—the night he lost his soul. A symbol of love. The only way he could tell her how he felt. "The hands mean friendship, the crown represents loyalty, and the heart…well, you know…" he'd said. "You wear the heart facing in to show that you belong to someone. Like this." And he'd shown her his ring, facing inwards, always inwards, toward his heart.

Buffy Summers sat on her hall floor the night before her wedding and cried for a very long time, because the last time she'd seen Angel he'd been wearing his ring facing towards his heart.

//The night is long the night is cold
With nothing to believe in
Just hold on, 'cause life goes on
Your new day is waiting, let go and let it begin//

Everyone said the bride seemed to glow. There was a crown of white roses in her hair, from which her veil flowed around her shoulders. There were white roses in her bouquet as well, and pink and peach, and lilies and baby's breath. She wore a string of pearls around her neck, a gift from her Watcher, and her best friend's borrowed pearl earrings. Her wrists were bare, as was her left hand—waiting for her wedding ring. On her left hand she wore but one ring, silver, and old, a crowned heart clasped between two hands.

The heart was facing inwards, but no one there knew the significance. The one person who would have was in LA, envisioning the wedding party. He did not envision the ring.

Buffy was crying before the ceremony was done. She said her vows in a steady voice, tears streaming down her face, an unbelieving smile on her face. When Garric repeated them and placed a golden band, symbol of love and eternity, about her finger, she cried harder, and smiled through the tears, brilliantly, joyfully.

And if some of her tears were for the other life, the other love that she had left behind, no one ever knew it, not even her. But she wore both rings, silver and gold, every day as long as she lived.

The End

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