Blinded By Love

by Isa

SUMMARY: After Graduation, something happens to change Buffy and Angel forever
SPOILER: Graduation Day
DISTRIBUTION: Sandee, of course - My site - - Crystal and Butterfly if they want it - A Soul's Redemption - Buffy & Angel Star Crossed Lovers - Anyone else - sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: Stupidhead Joss owns da characters. I own da insanity. Ooh, and a new NSYNC tee shirt. =) The song belongs to JoDee Messina (hope I spelled that right - I don't do the country music thing)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a response to a fic Aunt Lorna challenged us too on the AngelAdultFic list. I just couldn't resist. Not nearly as hot as I wanted it to get, but oh well.......
AUTHOR'S NOTES 2: Thanks to Michelle (I think it was Michelle) for posting the lyrics to the BA Songs list
AUTHOR'S NOTES 3: I've messed with things somewhat, because even though Aunt Lorna wanted Riley involved, I didn't want an S4 fic 'cause I hate S4. So there.


Buffy jumped through the window of the library just in time. She hid beside Giles and watched with wide eyes as he detonated the bombs that would blow up the entire school. She watched the blast grow, the smoke rise, and then everything became white.

And when she blinked, nothing changed. The white turned to darkness, and she grabbed her Watcher's hand.

"Giles, something's wrong," she said softly, calmly, as though she'd almost known this was coming.

"What? What's happened?" he asked.

"I can't see. I've gone blind."

*****

"Angel!" Xander ran up to him as soon as he spotted the vampire walking around amongst the ruins. "You've gotta come quick."

"Have you seen Buffy?" he asked. "I've been looking all over for her."

"That's what this is about," Xander said. "Come on."

He led him to Oz's van, parked a safe distance from the school. Oz and Giles sat in the front seat, concerned. Cordelia stood nearby outside, blowing bubbles with her gum and trying to look like she cared. In the middle seat, Buffy sat, wrapped in a blanket, shaking. Willow sat next to her with an arm around her, trying to comfort her and being unsuccessful.

"Angel," Buffy said when he was still twenty feet from the van. "Angel, come here."

He climbed in and sat with her, letting her lean against him and sob into his chest. He held her while she cried, stroking her hair, wiping her tears, letting her pull on his duster in anger. He didn't even notice when everyone else left them alone, only when Buffy sat up and kissed him gently did he realize that it was just the two of them in the van.

"They're giving us time," she whispered. "I guess the loss of one sense has made the others extra acute. Giles says it's happened alot before, when a Slayer witnesses a great trauma or defeats some great demonic being. I've had both experiences today."

"It won't last, Buffy." Angel said firmly.

She shook her head. "You don't know that. No one can know that."

"You need to see a doctor."

"It's no use. This is purely a Slayer thing. No doctor in the world can help." she turned so that she could lay back against him, her head over his heart, and put her legs out on the seat so she could stretch them out. "It's just another screwed up thing in my world." she said, closing her eyes since there wasn't any point in opening them anymore. "Angel?"

"Hmmm?" he brushed loose strands of hair off her face and pulled the rubber band out of her hair so that it fell loosely over her shoulders.

"Are you gonna leave me?" she whispered, and he could tell she'd been afraid to ask.

"Never," he promised, leaning to kiss her forehead. "I'll stay with you always."

"Good. Because I love you."

"I love you too."

On that note, Buffy fell asleep in his arms.

*****

When Buffy woke up, she could smell vanilla and knew instantly that she was in her own bed. She also smelled breakfast. French toast and she didn't even know what else.

She went to get out of bed and screamed, banging her ankle on the leg of her nightstand.

"I need one of those sticks," she said, laying back down and rubbing her injured limb. She stretched it out in front of her and pulled a pillow over her head, wondering how on Earth she was ever going to live through this period of her life, and how she would survive if she never regained her sight again.

"Hi," Angel came in carrying a tray and more smells filled Buffy's nose. Freshly squeezed orange juice, Canadian bacon, chocolate milk. "I brought you breakfast in bed, hope you don't mind."

"Are you kidding? I'm starved! There's just one problem."

"Don't underestimate me, Buffy. I'm gonna help you, but I need a minute so just sit up and stay put until I tell you."

Buffy sat and waited. Angel put the tray on her lap, adjusted a few things and then sat next to her on the bed.

"I can guess my blinds are closed?" she asked.

"And the curtains pulled. I figured you wouldn't miss the daylight."

"Not at this point," she said dryly.

"I set your food up like a clock on the tray. The toast is mainly at six o'clock, the juice at ten o'clock, the milk is at two o'clock and the bacon is somewhere around seven-thirty."

Buffy laughed and felt for the silverware. She slowly picked them up and began trying to cut the French toast.

"This is awful," she stated.

"You'll get it," Angel said. "I'm not going to let you give up, no matter how hard you try."

She picked up the bacon with her hands and bit into it. "You know me so well."

"That I do."

It took her much longer than usual, but she ate her breakfast without any major spills occurring. Afterwards, Angel led Buffy into the bathroom, ran a bath and helped her into the tub.

"This is not at all embarrassing," she said as Angel poured shower gel onto her bathing poof and began sliding it across her smooth skin.

"It's not," he said. "You need some help, I'm going to help you."

"I think I know where my own arms and legs are," she smirked.

"Isn't it more fun this way?" he asked, lightly sliding his fingers over her breasts instead of the sponge.

"Much more," she said, leaning against her bath pillow. "Do it again."

*****

"Tell me again why I have to be dressed and not just in a tee shirt?" Buffy asked, pulling at her tank top. "What if these clothes make me look fat?"

"Trust me, nothing could make you look fat." Angel said. "You have to be dressed because your tutor is coming over, and only I can see you in a tee shirt."

Buffy threw a pillow at him but kept her grip on Mr. Gordo. "What tutor?"

"Giles found him through the University. His name's Fish or Gill or something. He's supposedly the best Braille teacher in all of Sunnydale."

"Braille? Angel, if I learn that..." her voice suddenly became very small and Angel instantly felt bad for her. "If I learn how to read Braille, and if I start typing on a machine that makes those little bumps instead of letters....it's like I'm giving up on ever being *me* again. And no matter how much you or anyone else help me, I'm not normal this way."

"I know," Angel gently kissed her cheek. "But this will help, I promise."

The doorbell rang, and Buffy sighed, annoyed. She carefully brought her legs underneath her, Indian style, unaware of the mere centimeters that were between her ankle and the coffee table when she did so. She listened as Angel invited the guy, Rodney or Richie or something, into the house and explained that Buffy was suffering from temporary blindness caused by a traumatic car accident.

"Hi," the clod said as he sat next to Buffy, causing the entire couch to shift under his weigh. "I'm Riley Finn."

She reached and finally found his hand to shake, and shivered when she touched it. It was clammy and unfriendly. She tried to smile when she thought she should, and she slid her hands over the bumpy paper when she was told, trying to make sense of everything. It was easy until Riley would put his hands on top of hers to try and guide them correctly. Then she felt queasy and couldn't wait for the lesson to end.

When Riley, whom she'd already nickname Huckleberry, left promising to return tomorrow at the same day, Buffy risked breaking numerous limbs to walk through the crowded living room to Angel and grab him by the collar.

"If he comes back tomorrow, I'm gonna have to kill him." she said firmly.

Angel laughed. "I was here all the time. He's not that bad, Buffy."

"No, he's not. He's worse."

*****

Over the next few weeks while Joyce stayed in Illinois visiting her sister Arlene, Angel moved into Buffy's house and took care of her, slowly helping her learn the layout of the house during the day, sitting in on her Braille sessions with Riley at night, and patrolling with Willow, Xander and sometimes Cordelia in the early morning hours while she slept. It was a comfortable routine for them, one Buffy would be content not to break. She hadn't been out of the house since the Ascension, but her friends visited often with tales of the Hellmouth. Giles bought her a mechanism run by computer that you could scan over something typed or handwritten and it would speak, in a robotic voice, whatever was written. Giles intended for her to study some Watcher diaries while on "sabbatical" as he called it, but the only thing Buffy used the gismo for was catching up on her Cosmos.

One night, Riley brought a heavy laptop-like thing and set it in Buffy's lap.

"What's this?" she asked, touching it, feeling its keys.

"A Braille typewriter. Try it."

She felt the letters on the keys and typed out "Hello, Rilley" and "My namee is Buffyf." Though she was making typos, it actually felt good to be able to type again.

"So this is like a regular computer too?" she asked. "I mean, you can hook the keyboard up and go?"

"Yeah, but why would you want a keyboard when you can do this?" he asked. "Type anything up and then read it whenever you want."

Buffy didn't comment, she just attempted to type again without making any errors.

"Buffy," he said when Angel got up a few minutes later to feed. "You know, you've never even told me your last name, or why Angel takes care of you."

"Jensen," Angel said, standing in the doorway and startling Riley. "Our last name is Jensen."

"Our?" Riley asked in a small voice, now intimidated by Angel.

"That's right. Buffy and I have been married almost a year and a half now."

"You *have*?!?!" Riley demanded.

"Yeah," Buffy smiled. "Sorry I never mentioned it."

"It's okay. Angel, could I speak with you, please?"

The vampire didn't get why he'd want to, but they went into the kitchen together anyway.

"Angel, when was the last time Buffy was out of the house?" Riley asked.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Angel demanded.

"I think you're sheltering her too much, Angel. She's a beautiful, smart girl. She's too young to be cooped up in this house. Why, there are a million jobs she could hold. And school! She could be going to school."

Angel forced himself not to grab Riley and shake him unconscious. Instead, he cleared his throat and said, "Buffy can go to school if she wishes, which at this point, she doesn't. She's happy here, and you have no right to argue otherwise."

"I'm just saying, I don't see her blossoming."

"You don't *see* her at all!" Angel said. "You're her Braille tutor! You think because you show up four nights a week for two hours that you have some sort of say in her life?"

"Yes!" Riley said. "I think I see her being mistreated and she's too quite or nice to say anything to you about it."

"Believe me, there is little left unsaid between Buffy and I. You wouldn't believe some of the conversations we've had."

"I'm sure they'd give me nightmares." Riley said sarcastically.

"You have no idea." Angel smirked.

"Angel!" Buffy called. "I need you."

He dashed into the living room with Riley at his heels. "What is it?" he asked her.

"Can you hand me the phone?" she asked. "I can't feel where I dropped it."

"Sure," he slid it out from under the couch and gave it to her.

"Thank you." she started to dial, then stopped. "Oh, and Riley?"

"Yes?"

"You're fired. Effective immediately. Never tell my husband how to treat me, or how we should be living our lives. It's our business, not yours."

"But--"

"Are you still here?" she asked. She waited 'till she heard the door slam, then cheered.

"Thank God!" Angel sat next to her on the couch. "I've been dying to get rid of that guy."

"Me too," Buffy said. "It's taken everything inside of me not to kill him."

"Makes two of us," Angel said.

"Yeah, but you've got it easier than me," she smirked. "You can see where his heart is. I would've had to just keep repeatedly stab him with the stake."

*****

(Six months later)

"It's so great to finally have our own place," Buffy rolled around on the silk sheets of Angel's bed.

"I still don't think your mom's too happy about it."

"She'll deal," Buffy said. "Besides, she doesn't like the idea of my not being able to look at her art and tell her whether or not it's cool, so I'm just a burden."

"Ah," Angel just smirked at her.

"So, Mr. Jensen," she got on her knees and pulled him to her. He knelt beside her and stood still as she undressed him. "Got any plans for the evening?"

"I am going to make love to my wife all night long." he said before giving her a deep, passionate kiss.

"Sounds wonderful," she said. "There's just one thing."

"What?" he asked.

"Now that the curse has been eliminated and we're together again, I have to know. Is this forever? Are you going to stick around, or will you leave me when the whim hits you?"

"Buffy," Angel took her hands into his and kissed them. "I promise you here, now and forever, that I will never leave you again, not even for five minutes."

She giggled. "I'm going to make you keep your word." she said. "And I'll punish you if you don't."

"I look forward to it," he said before pushing her back onto the bed and covering her body with his, loving the sound of her giggles floating into the night.

I don't know how I survived
In this cold and empty world for all this time
I only know that I'm alive
Because you love me

When I recall what I've been through
There's some things I wish I didn't do
Now I do the things I do
Because you love me

And now that you're in my life
I'm so glad I'm alive
'Cause you showed me the way
And I know now how good it can be
Because you love me

I believe in things unseen
I believe in the message of a dream
And I believe in what you are
Because you love me

With all my heart and all my soul
I'm loving you and I never will let go
And every day I'll let it show
Because you love me\\

The End

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