SUMMARY: Buffy prepares for her ten-year high school reunion
SPOILER: Nothing and everything--some specifics for Graduation Day
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-14 - some choice language is used
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns the characters you know, I own the ones you don't, I don't actually know who owns the song because the person who sent me the lyrics didn't know where it came from, but regardless, it's a really great song

"Relax, Buffy," Willow ordered. "You're going to be fine."

"I know."

"And the party will be fine."

"I know."

"And Angel might not even come. Cordy said that *someone's* got to stay and watch the kids."

"I *know*," Buffy said, then added as an afterthought, "Won't Gunn do that?"

"I believe Gunn's got his own wife and son to take care of, Buffy."

"Oh."

Willow grabbed her best friend by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. "You'll be FINE."

"God, I hope so." she sat on the bed and closed her eyes. "Oh, no I don't. I know everything won't be okay and I'm scared to death and just what did I get myself into?"

"Oh, Buffy," Willow sat down and put an arm around her friend. "You got yourself into your ten-year high school reunion. You'll hang out and talk and eat and we'll dance to old *NSYNC songs--"

"Why not new *NSYNC songs?" Buffy interrupted. "The song Chris wrote for his new daughter is beautiful."

Willow ignored her and pulled Buffy's high heels out of the closet. "Get dressed," she ordered.

"My clothes are downstairs," she said slowly.

Willow disappeared into the closet again and came out with the dress and wrap. "You've got fifteen minutes," Willow said. "Don't doddle."

"Okay, Mom," Buffy joked. She forced herself off the bed and started at the outfit.

Her black gown was stunning. Her mom had picked it out, and Buffy was too tired to even care. It had beading on the wrap, a plunging neckline and was designed by ABS, a direct copy of a Debra Messing gown from the last Emmy Awards.

Sighing, Buffy slid into the dress, then her nylons and finally the heels, which hurt. She couldn't remember the last time she'd worn them.

And then suddenly, she could. Willow and Giles's wedding, five years ago. She'd been the maid of honor and the only unmarried woman there. It was like a scene in Picture Perfect when Will politely handed her the bouquet.

"Buffy?" a small voice asked.

The Slayer turned and saw Emma standing in her doorway, a Barbie doll tucked under each arm.

"Hi sweetie," Buffy smiled. "How'd you get up all those stairs by yourself?"

"Gamma," she said, and Buffy shook her head, knowing that her mother had brought Emma upstairs to try and cheer her up. She was mad because it was working.

"Are you guys gonna have fun tonight?" Buffy asked, putting in one earring, then the other.

"Yeah," she answered in the singsong voice of a happy child. "Mommy happy."

"I know that."

"Daddy happy."

"Yes, he is," Buffy applied her lipstick and eye liner.

"Buffy happy?" Emma asked.

"Not yet, sweetie," Buffy leaned down and kissed the top of her head, her red lipstick blending in perfectly with Emma's red hair. "I'll see you tonight, okay sweetheart?"

"'K!" she took a careful step into Buffy's room, then looked back at her quizzically.

"You can play with my Barbies," Buffy told her.

Emma's squeal of joy could be heard twenty blocks away.

"All right," Buffy walked downstairs and found her friends all waited in the foyer. "I'm ready."

"Great," Faith stalked over to her and tried to pull Buffy's dress downwards.

"Faith!"

"What? You should show some skin, you're hot."

"Spare us old folk, please," Giles begged.

"Come on babe," Spike grabbed Faith and pulled her close. "I wanna get out before the bloody Americans drink all the Jack."

"Yes, 'cause that would happen." Willow shook her head. "Come on Buffy, the limos are waiting."

Buffy reluctantly followed them and wound up in the limo with Willow and Giles. Xander, Anya, Faith and Spike took the other one.

"Oz and Illy are meeting us there," Willow told Buffy on the drive over.

"Is Devon coming?" she questioned.

"His wife's got morning sickness, so no."

"I cannot *believe* he married Aura," Buffy shook her head.

"Stranger things have happened," Giles commented as he eyed the other limousine behind them. Faith and Spike were standing via the sun roof and making out for all to see.

"Like?" Willow prodded.

"Like Faith marrying Spike and adopting a son with him."

"Point taken." Willow put the radio on and they were silent for the rest of the ride. Buffy stared out the window, thinking about how far everyone else had traveled in their lives.

Xander was a famous chef, and had three restaurants in the neighboring cities in addition to the original Xander's Place in the heart of Sunnydale. He and Anya had a daughter named Soraya and were extremely happy.

Willow had married Giles and they were both science professors at UC Sunnydale. Willow wants their daughter Emma to become a famous doctor, and Giles wants her to be a lawyer. Buffy often reminded them that first and foremost, they should want her to be happy.

Spike and Faith were the craziest people Buffy knew, but also the happiest. They split their time between LA, where Faith worked with Angel, and Sunnydale, where their son Michael worked with Giles at the university. Whenever Buffy saw Faith with Michael, her heart ached. She desperately wanted a child of her own, and she was pretty sure she was never going to get one.

Everyone was happy but her. Even Cordelia settled down a few years ago with Wesley and had three daughters. Aimee, Andee and Ashlee were Cordy's whole life now, and she rarely even went into the office at AI, though Angel still paid her every single week.

And then there was Buffy. Single. Technically unemployed--she wrote for the Watcher's Journal magazine to make a living when she wasn't Slaying--and utterly miserable. She still lived with her mother and spent her free time hanging out with Willow and her Goddaughter Emma. She hadn't had a boyfriend since Riley, and even he was a sorry excuse. Guys asked her out, but she just didn't see the point. She knew she couldn't love them, so she never bothered getting their hopes up.

Staring out the window, Buffy wondered what might have been. If only Angel hadn't left, if only she hadn't gone out of her way to hurt him when he was helping Faith. Maybe they could've found a way....

"Buffy," Willow gently touched her arm, shaking her into the present. "We're here."

"Oh. Great."

"You don't sound great," Willow observed.

"Do I look great?" Buffy countered.

"You look green, actually," Willow admitted.

"Good enough for me." Buffy stalked into the high school and didn't even stop off at vampire Harmony's sign-in table. She went straight to the bar and began drinking. Three martinis later, she felt much better about herself and about being there.

Jonathan the psychopath was re-enacting Saturday Night Fever on the dance floor when Buffy heard the stupid bells Harmony had her committee hang over the gymnasium doors ringing. She looked up and stopped breathing.

Angel.

With Darla.

As soon as they were inside, the blonde walked away and Angel approached the bar, not even realizing Buffy was there until it was too late to turn around. He smiled and ordered a double Scotch on the rocks.

"Never figured you for the drunken type," Buffy commented. "Of course, I didn't figure you for the dates-a-vampire-slut-who-tried-to-kill-me type, either."

"It's nice to see you too."

"It's a fucking mess." Buffy slammed her empty plastic glass down and was disappointed in the sound it made. "Fill'er up," she told the bartender, then she turned to Angel. "Are you happy? 'Cause I'm not happy. I wanna be happy."

"What would make you happy, Buffy?" Angel asked.

She downed the drink and looked at him. "Well, I used to say four children and a white picket fence, but now I'm just thinking killing Darla in front of everyone here would do the trick."

"You can't kill her, Buffy," Angel said gently. "She's human now."

"So? My dad was human and he died. My grandparents were human and they're both gone. Why not Darla?"

"Because it's not the same thing," Angel reasoned. "They weren't murdered."

"They may as well have been. Gimme another." After draining the glass of her fifth drink, Buffy tossed the plastic into the trash can and grabbed Angel's arm.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"I need to throw up, and you're gonna hold my hair back."

Angel thought she was kidding, but that was exactly what happened. They went into the ladies' room and Buffy puked while Angel held her hair back and handed her paper towels.

"Feel better?" he asked when she was finished.

"Not at all."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be!" she slapped him. "This is all your fault."

"My fault?!"

"Yes, your fault. You walked out after graduation, you moved to LA and pretended to be happy and worst of all, you let HER back into your life."

"I couldn't very well just leave her out in the cold, Buffy."

"Why not? She tried to kill me!"

"And I *did* kill her. Maybe I owe her a little something."

"You know, if I wasn't incredibly drunk right now, I'd beat your sorry ass to death." Buffy stated.

"I'd like to see you try."

Buffy stood up and began pounding Angel on the chest. He grabbed her hands and held them above her head, pulling them closer together. Buffy took one look into his eyes and she was lost all over again.

They kissed, forgetting about the curse and everything else that was destined to keep them apart.

"We can't do this," Buffy said as they ran through the pouring rain, splashing in the puddles while searching the parking lot for Angel's car.

"I know," Angel kept looking.

"It's completely wrong."

"I know."

"And we'll just wind up right back where we were," Buffy continued.

"I know," Angel said for the third time. "A-ha! There it is."

Once inside the car, Buffy snuggled next to Angel and studied his eyes. She'd missed them so much. Missed how they looked at her, how they seemed to smile only when looking directly into her own eyes.

"What are you thinking?" Angel asked.

"How stupid I am." she sat up and rubbed the tears from her eyes. "Just drive already before I change my mind."

He didn't have any resolve left, so he drove.

//I sit and watch the rain
And see my tears run down the window pane
I sit and watch the sky
And I can hear it breath a sigh
I think of him, how we were
And when I think of him
Then I remember, remember

In his eyes, I can see
Where my heart longs to be
In his eyes I see a gentle glow
And that's where I'll be safe, I know
Safe in his arms
Close to his heart
But I don't know quite where to start

By looking in his eyes
Will I see beyond tomorrow?
By looking in his eyes
Will I see beyond the sorrow that I feel?
Will his eyes reveal to me promises or lies?
But he can't conceal from me the love
In his eyes, his eyes, his eyes

But most of all the look that hypnotized me
If I'm wise
I will walk away, and gladly
But sadly I'm not wise
It's hard to talk away the mem'ries
That you prize

Love is worth forgiving for
Now I realize
Everything worth living for is there
In his eyes\\

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