SUMMARY: Angel mopes. I love when Angel mopes.
SPOILER: Pangs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And IWRY and anything pathetic that has Fish Boy with Buffy.
DISTRIBUTION: Sandee, of course - My site - - Crystal and Butterfly if they want it - A Soul's Redemption - Anyone else - sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: Asshole Joss owns all. Stupid bastard that he is. Song belongs to Savage Garden. They're nice guys. Joss is not.

"What do you think?" Giles asked.

And I answer that how? She sounds okay? She's fine? Or do I go with the truth?

She desperately needs me, Giles. Can't you see that she's falling apart?

"She sounds good," I allow, not knowing what else to say.

"I think she's a little lonely," Giles comments and I know it's a pointed comment, one that I deserve. Yes, I made this messy little bed and I have to lie in it, but I've pulled Buffy down too and that's why he's pissed.

He begins the shop talk, and I follow his words, saying what needs to be said without giving away too much.

I don't really know if I understand Giles anymore. He's hated me for years for putting Buffy into danger, yet I think he'd be perfectly happy to accept me in Buffy's life if it would bring back the Slayer I know he misses so much.

The one that's letting the spirit inside her die.

*****

I've been following her and Willow for awhile now. She's smiling, sort of, pretending to be happy though I'm not sure that she really is.

And then he showed up.

Tall, dorky, probably gay. And he's making her laugh.

Willow feeds me what I need to know. Name; Riley. Relationship; wants to date Buffy. And by the smiles she's giving him, she wants to date back.

She wants to date someone else.

Come on, Buffy, I plea when the girls are walking again and I'm following like a shadow. Close your eyes, and you'll feel me.

Then their conversation floats to me and I hear the words.

"I asked Riley out."

And I'm wondering how fast I can drive a stake through my own heart.

*****

A year has passed now. It's funny, after Buffy said what she said about Riley, it's hard to believe she was how she was when I was human. The intensity in her kisses, the way her heart raced, her blood flowed, it was obvious that she still loved me. I guess it's true that time makes you forget the things you really want, and that you grow to care for what's right in front of you.

I'd like to tell myself that she still loves me, but I think I know better.

And now, sitting here all alone, feeling her heart beat for another man, I can only hope he appreciates her.

Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
It's been seven months and counting
You've moved on
I still feel exactly the same

It's just that everywhere I go
All the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets
I have given mine away
To a world that didn't want it anyway
So this is my new freedom
It's funny
I don't remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

And time goes by so slowly
The nights are cold and lonely
I shouldn't be holding on
But I'm still holding on for you

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me\\

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