SUMMARY: Buffy and Angel have a conversation, briefly, in the cemetery.
SPOILER: This is sort of a big spoiler for the end of S3 ANGEL. It's also taking a lot of liberties and is set sometime next fall.
RATING: TV-G
DISTRIBUTION: http://planetslaythis.homestead.com, Fanfiction.net under Goddess Isa, anyone else, just send me the URL
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon owns the characters herein. Plech. Mandy Moore and Jonathan someone-or-other perform the song, but it's originally by the New Radicals. Hear the Mandy version in your head and buy the AWTR soundtrack to hear it, 'cause it's beautiful
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This came to me while I was brushing my teeth. Figure that one out.
AUTHOR'S NOTES 2: I can't write, you know. I'm incapable. But I wanted to write this and I wanted to send it out anyway. If it sucks, fine. I like to write. And I've decided not to let anyone take that away from me.

It was a typical night in Sunnydale. Dark, and cold, and dead. The cemetery had its usual creepy feel, and Buffy's senses were peaked one hundred percent. A vamp was on her tail.

Not in the mood for a big battle, she drew in a long breath and let the fight come to her. She liked it better that way, anyway. A girl who goes looking for trouble always gets it, Buffy thought.

"Sorry I'm late," the vampire said as he fell into step beside her.

"Connor again?" Buffy guessed.

"He missed curfew last night, I had to give him a lecture, then he was trying to trick Cordelia again..."

"Teenagers," Buffy gave him a small smile. "They're impossible to corral."

"I keep thinking he and Dawn would be good for each other, but I can't seem to corral her, either."

"It's a tough age," Angel went on. "Sixteen. They think they're invincible."

"How silly," Buffy gave Angel another smile. She knew they were both thinking of her, how she acted when she was sixteen.

"It's hard for them," Angel went on. "Single parent homes, difficult to have friends..."

"All kids have it hard," Buffy went on. She stopped walking and looked at Angel. "We had it harder than anyone."

"Did we?"

"Crazy vampires after us, The Judge sent for us, three apocalyptic demons, my own mother trying to burn me at the stake, a spell making me want Xander, snakes in the cafeteria, locked into a room at school with spike, The Master drowning me, Faith trying to kill me-"

"I get it, I get it," Angel held up his hands. "That's enough heartburn for a lifetime, thank you."

"Humanity sucks," Buffy said seriously.

They walked in silence for awhile, then Buffy stopped and sat on a headstone. She swung her feet and looked at Angel, smiling.

"Reminiscing?" he guessed.

"Yep."

"This was a favorite place."

"It's always been peaceful. Not too much dirt, just enough light from the stars-"

"No fresh graves for a mile," Angel added.

She smiled. "Exactly."

"You look beautiful."

"I look tired and I need a haircut," Buffy corrected. "But thank you."

"How are you?" Angel sat beside her and put an arm loosely around her waist. She leaned into his touch and tried to remember how it felt when they were together like this the last time. It had only been a month-always thirty days and always exactly that-but it felt like forever and no time at all. It felt like home.

This cemetery, this time of night, holding each other so lightly, it was home.

"I'm all right," Buffy admitted. "I'm doing better, really. Willow's finally moved out and gotten her own place. And Anya's gonna get out of her robe any day now."

Angel laughed. "That's good. And Dawn?"

"Date."

"You're letting her date?" Angel sounded impressed.

"She forced me. It was either let her date, or she was going to cast a spell to lock me inside the house forever. She's not powerful enough to do that, but I was afraid of what might go wrong in the process."

Angel laughed and Buffy scooted closer to him. "How are you? Parental problems excluded."

"Good. Business is good, the gang is good, Connor's good-"

"Cordy is good?" Buffy interrupted.

Angel looked at her. "I wasn't going to bring her up."

"You don't have to."

He wanted to say it. He wanted to say it SO badly, but he held back. The words were on his tongue-"You had your chance,"-but he bit them back and sighed.

"She's not you," he said finally.

"And it's not forever," she said almost wistfully.

"No," Angel agreed. "It's not."

Neither of them was sure what it was, it was too new at this point to guess, but Angel didn't mind keeping Buffy happier with that tiny little lie, and Buffy didn't mind believing it keep herself sane.

After all, she'd agreed to this arrangement. It had been her idea.

And it had been her who'd pushed Angel away when he came to her, human, ready to start the life together that they'd always wanted.

"I'm not ready," she'd said as breezily as you would say, "I'm thirsty," or "I'm hungry".

"But..."

"I know you've waited more than a hundred years for this," Buffy went on. "And I know you've wanted me to be there for you. You want me to be the happy little Buffy that you fell in love with. Want me to wear ponytails and set up a house with you and have lots and lots of little children.”

"Buffy. I never said-"

"But I'm not ready," she said again. "I'm just not. I'm sort of happy here, Angel. I like being an ER tech, and I like being independent. I like supporting myself and Dawn, and I like that this is our house. I like not having to answer to anyone-"

"And you like having a worry-free orgasm with Spike on call," Angel spat out.

"So what if I do?" Buffy asked. "It doesn't matter anymore. We both agreed when I came back-"

"That was different," Angel whispered.

"But this isn't."

"How can you sit there....oh." Angel frowned. "You're punishing me."

"Punishing you?" Buffy cried incredulously. "Why on Earth would I punish you? What would I be punishing you for?"

"For leaving after graduation. For calling Riley what he was. For not being there when you needed a shoulder to cry on when Mr. Manly Boyfriend left you for a boyfriend in the barracks overseas. You do know that's where he went, right?"

Buffy opened her mouth but no sound came out. Angel continued.

"You're punishing me for helping Faith. You're punishing me for having Connor, for my first child being with someone other than you. You're punishing me for sleeping with Darla and more than anything, I think you're punishing me for being in love with Cordelia."

Her cold expression grew colder. "So you admit it."

"I know you wanted me to sit idle for the rest of my life, but that's not gonna happen. You've hurt me too much to let you take enjoyment in my solitude," Angel was babbling, and he knew it. "Everything that happened between us, it's everything. You're everything.

"But it's not enough for you," he took a step back. "And let me just tell you this. I'm waiting. I'll wait five months, I'll wait ten years, I'll wait forever if I have to. I'm waiting for you, Buffy. We'll find out place together, I promise you we will."

And this was how they'd found it. Meeting at the cemetery, once a month, and talking. They never kissed, mostly because Buffy was afraid of letting herself get sucked into him again.

God, that was what she wanted. To become lost in his arms, to feel his body pressing against hers. She wanted to be his Buffy-his one and only-but she wasn't going to let him know that. Ever.

She was going to make him fight for it, make him break up with Cordelia and come back to Sunnydale and beg Buffy for her forgiveness.

She almost smiled as he held her there, silent. Cordelia may be his bedroom buddy, but she would never be in his heart.

"So....next month?" Angel asked a few hours later, when the sun was on its way. They'd agreed to only meet at night, to keep things as they'd always been. His humanity couldn't change everything, and Buffy didn't want to lose the magic they'd had when they were once Lovers in the Night.

"I'll be here," she said easily.

"I'm still waiting," he said quietly.

"Someday," she allowed. "Someday, we'll know that it's right. We'll feel it, and we'll-"

"Run into each other's arms, and hug, and kiss, and just know," Angel said.

"And we'll be married-"

"You'll adopt Connor-"

"We'll have our own children-"

"All of whom will have Irish names."

"Except for Alissia."

"Alissia?" he questioned.

"Alissia Rose Angel," she said almost wistfully. Then she caught herself and pulled back, became the Cold Buffy that she was so used to being. It was an act she'd perfected over the past year, and she didn't want all her work to go to waste.

"That's beautiful," Angel said. "Absolutely beautiful."

"So...someday."

"Someday," he echoed. Then Angel planted the lightest of kisses on her lips and was gone, disappearing into the night just as he always had.

And Buffy walked home, smiling, knowing that 'someday' wasn't that far away.

//Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years later, you're still on my mind

Whatever happened to Emelia Earhart
Who holds the stars up in the sky
Is true love just once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis
Or what the wind says when she cries
I'm speeding by the place where I met you
For the 97th time tonight

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I know
We'll be dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me?

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I know
We'll be dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you\\

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