I Only Wanna Be Right Where You Are

I Only Wanna Be Right Where You Are

SUMMARY: As Buffy packs to go away to college, she finds something that makes her dream
SPOILERS: Mildly Graduation Day....Dawn is here though. I sort of mixed realities < g >
RATING: TV-14, I think. Buffy gets her bitch on in this fic
DISTRIBUTION: My site, http://planetslaythis.homestead.com
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns the characters. Jessica Simpson, my idol, my inspiration, my role model, owns the song. I own the crazy situation and thoughts going through Buffy's messed up head.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I can't stop listening to the Dawson's Creek soundtracks. I really think I need to.

"I hate MTV," Dawn muttered. She flipped back and forth between MTV East and West before settling on TRL West.

Buffy tuned her sister--and the Limp Biskit song she was playing--out and opened her middle dresser drawer to empty it. She'd never realized just how many tank tops and sweaters she'd accumulated. Sighing, she began taking things out one by one and placing them in a suitcase.

"Oh, cool!" Dawn exclaimed, turning the TV up.

"Could you go away already?" Buffy asked.

"Could you move out already?" Dawn countered.

Buffy snorted and tried desperately to tune out Carson Daly's enthusiastic voice as he announced a video.

".....this is Jessica's first video on TRL, and she's got what it takes to be a regular, here's the world premiere of 'I Wanna Love You Forever'."

The applause made Buffy roll her eyes. She frowned as Dawn began to sing along, horribly off-key.

Buffy pulled out her favorite red tank top--she'd once kneed Spike in the crotch while wearing it--and a piece of paper dropped to the floor. Buffy gasped when she saw the neat handwriting, the dark ink, the spacing only Angel would use.

The poem had been a Christmas gift. Angel had waited until it was Christmas Day around eleven p.m. to give it to her.

She'd made him read it aloud, and as she stared at the paper lying on the floor, memories rushed over her. Buffy had sworn she'd never even think about that poem again, and here she was, picking it up and reading it.

//You set my soul at ease
Chase darkness out of view
Left your desperate spell on me
Say you feel it too
And that would do\\

"Where are you, Angel?" Buffy whispered. "What are you doing without me? Do you miss me?" her voice was barely audible. "I miss you so much it hurts."

//I've got so much more to give
This can't die
I yearn to live
Pour yourself all over me
And I'll cherish every breath here on my knees\\

Buffy kissed the poem and held it to her chest. Tears she promised herself she'd never cry came pouring down her face.

"Oh great," Dawn rolled her eyes. "More Angel moping. I'll be downstairs, eating my hair."

Buffy didn't even notice.

//I wanna love you forever
And this is all I'm asking of you
Ten thousand lifetimes together
Is that so much for you to do?
'Cause from the moment that I saw your face
And felt the magic in your sweet embrace
I swear I knew
I'm gonna love you forever\\

Buffy, still holding the poem to her chest with one hand, went under her bed and pulled out her weapons bag. She took out her diary and began to write.

It had been almost a week and dammit if I didn't find that poem.

That stupid poem.

Why did he give me that?

Why did he write those words?

//My mind fails to understand
What my heart tells me to do
And I'd give up all I have
Just to be with you
And that would do\\

What do those words mean?

How do you write something and then break every promise you made?

I could never do that.

Great. And now Dawn's song is getting to me again. Lovely.

Sisters.

//I've always been taught to win
And I never thought I'd fall
Be at the mercy of men
I've never been
Now I only want to be right where you are\\

God, what I wouldn't give to know where he is.

Just to have this little idea in my mind that he's somewhere, maybe even somewhere close, that he's happy and that he's alone.

He has to be alone.

I will kill him if he's not alone.

//In my life I've learned
That Heaven never waits
No
Let's take this now before it's gone
Like yesterday
'Cause when I'm with you
There's nowhere else
That I would ever wanna be
I pray that for the next second
I can feel you
Loving me\\

Lying on her bed, her journal open on her stomach, Buffy could feel Angel beside her. She knew that no matter how long it took, she would find him.

She would hunt Spike down if she had to and beat the living shit out of him until she found Angel.

And she'd hold him and kiss him, and the world would end.

And Buffy would finally be happy, and finally, she wouldn't have to be alone.

The End

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