Feedback: Always welcome and appreciated.it's like a drug ;) vagabond_angel@comcast.net
Disclaimer: *thinks hard* Nope, not mine.
Rating: PG-13ish.I think
Pairing: B/A? A/C? read to find out.
Summary: Not really something I can summarize without giving it away.
Spoilers: There aren't really any, except for one little tid-bit from the end of ATS season 3
Timeline: Read to find out...although it still may be confusing. Distribution: my lame li'l fic page, ff.net, BA_Fluff list, and LoD if it wants it, anyone else, just ask first.
Author's Notes - Ok.this is a really really strange fic. Kinda written on a whim and out of boredom. It's a bit nonsensical, a little confusing.and as I said, rather strange. But I'm sending it out anyway. This is nothing like my last fic (I Dreamt of Someday) plot, quality, or length wise.it's just something I wrote in one sitting for the hell of it. And before anyone starts throwing bricks at me halfway through reading this, just keep going, I promise it'll be worth it at the end!
AN2 - Not beta'd, mistakes are mine. And I know there is bad grammar.I was never a fan of grammar and proper writing rules anyway.
Warnings: Most of this is angsty/sad/despressing/etc.but it all works out, trust me!

The road before her blurred into focus. Yellow lines and dirty, cracked pavement. Signs here and there pointing to various destinations, but not yet the one she wanted, the one leading to Los Angeles. Yes, she was on her way to Los Angeles, to the one man to ever truly hold her heart.

Maybe it wasn't the wisest decision. After all, it had been three years since they'd last met. Three years since the bittersweet reunion after her return from the grave.

Maybe this was the wisest decision. She hadn't really thought it out.

Instinct had driven her. Told her to jump into her SUV and reclaim her long lost mate.

Maybe this wasn't her wisest decision. But she was doing it anyway.

She had to do it, had to at least try. Why wouldn't she? This was their chance.

Maybe this wasn't her wisest decision. That was beside the point though.

The point was in the book sitting on the seat next to her. The book that held the magical words to her destiny.

Maybe this wasn't her wisest decision. Who said she ever made wise decisions, anyway?

Right or wrong, she was on her way. On the road leading to him. On the road to her heart.

Maybe this wasn't her wisest decision.

Maybe.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

The large building loomed in front of her. She hoped this was where he still lived. After all, it had been three years. Maybe he had moved. How would she know anyway. They hadn't talked since that meeting. Since he told her he still couldn't be with her, even when she begged.

Was he happy now? Was he still fighting evil?

How would she know anyway, they hadn't talked.

Did he still love her? Or had he forgotten?

How would she know anyway, they hadn't talked.

Was there someone else in his life now? No, he wouldn't put his soul at risk.

How would she know anyway, they hadn't talked.

Would he want to see her? Would he want to know what she had to tell him?

How would she know anyway, they hadn't talked.

But she would see him, she would tell him what she had found. How could she not? It changed everything. She knew he'd be happy.

How would she know anyway.

...they hadn't talked.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

She cautiously crept into the building, eyes flittering around looking for him. He had to be home, it was daylight out. An axe lay on the couch, papers and books cluttering the desk. At least he still lived here.

She ran a hand over the black leather duster tossed over a chair. It was typical Angel.

At least he still lived here.

The back office was strewn with files and books. A few sketches tucked amongst the piles.

At least he still lived here.

Deep, rich laughter rang through the building. Her insides rippled at the sound. Oh, how she'd longed to hear his wonderful voice again.

At least he still lived here.

She strode as casual as possible toward the sound, finding herself standing in a doorway. And there in front of her was the one man who had ever truly held her heart.

At least he still lived here.

But how was that possible? It was daylight. Yet there he stood, not caring about the sunlight caressing his skin.

At least he still lived here.

And in his arms was another woman, not just any woman. Her once nemesis. Cordelia. Lovingly held by the strong, gentle arms she dreamt of every night.

At least he still lived here.

...but he no longer lived alone.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

An anguished cry escaped her numb lips, the book under her arm falling to the ground, landing open to the page she'd marked. How could he? Didn't he remember that he'd promised her forever? How could he have moved on.to her? How was it possible?

She stumbled backwards, ignoring the way he softly spoke her name. She felt like she was going to throw up.

Didn't he remember that he'd promised her forever?

Her body felt ice cold, frozen. The world was swirling before her eyes.

Didn't he remember that he'd promised her forever?

He had picked up the book she dropped, skimming the page marked with a bright pink sticky note. His eyes shifting to her, filled with shame and guilt. But it was inconsequential after what she'd seen.

Didn't he remember that he'd promised her forever?

The warm (warm?) hand he placed on her trembling shoulder was immediately thrown off. She tossed a hate-filled glare in his direction before dashing out of the building, tripping on the stairs.

Didn't he remember that he'd promised her forever?

People stared at the oblivious glassy-eyed girl wandering directionless down the sidewalk. But they didn't care. He didn't care.

Didn't he remember that he'd promised her forever?

She didn't know how she'd ended up here. At some seedy bar in downtown LA, guzzling down shots of tequila like they were water. She hoped they'd numb the pain.

Didn't he remember that he'd promised her forever?

Hours passed. She had no idea how many shots of the yellowish liquid had slid down her throat. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

Didn't he remember that he'd promised her forever?

Somehow she ended up outside the bar. She didn't know how. Was that from the heartbreak or from the liquor? Who knew? She certainly didn't.

Didn't he remember he'd promised her forever.

She never saw the headlights. Never heard the furious honking of the horn or the screeching of the tires.

...maybe this wasn't her wisest decision.

...how would she know anyway.they didn't talk.

...at least he still lived here.

...didn't he remember that he'd promised her forever?...

And then her world went black.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

Angel awoke with a start, eyes shooting open, body gasping for unneeded breath. What the hell had just happened? He had gone to his room to lie down for a minute before he was supposed to meet Cordy at Point Dume as she requested. He must have fallen asleep.

And then the dream came. No, that wasn't a dream. *That* was a nightmare.

He shook his head, trying to clear the muddled mess within. His dreams, nightmares, whatever, had never been like that before. And it felt different.

The entire dream suddenly became perfectly clear in his head. Buffy. Him with Cordy. Buffy seeing him with Cordy. The book.the book that.oh God!

Angel leapt out of the bed. The dream had shown Buffy coming to him with a spell that would bind his soul. And he'd.he'd.oh God!

The hateful, broken look her in eyes still stung his heart. Oh God! What had he done?!? And what did the dream mean?

Then something else from the dream clicked into place. He'd not only experienced it from his perspective. He'd also felt every single one of her emotions.

The hope deep within her soul as she drove to LA, the blinding love in her heart she still felt for him, and then the reverberating thud of her hopes falling and heart breaking.because of him.

What the hell had he been thinking?

And Cordelia? She was like a sister to him. He didn't love her like that. His unbeating heart had only ever truly, deeply loved one person. His Buffy.

Angel stopped his pacing abruptly. There was still time. The dream had been a look into the future. He still had time to make things right.

He grabbed his black duster, forgetting about anything else of consequence as he sprinted down the stairs. Jumping into his car, he gunned the engine, squealing the tires before he raced off in the direction of Sunnydale.

After all, he hadn't forgotten his promise.

And a promise was a promise.

He'd promised her forever

And he had every intention of keep that promise.

...there was also that book he needed to find.

^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^

From above a dark haired Irishmen chuckled and took a sip of his glass of whiskey. Sometimes a little interference was necessary. Looked like it had worked if the black convertible speeding down the highway was any indication.

Sighing, the Irishmen shifted his attention. He had a certain misguided seer to set straight next.

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