Disclaimer: If I owned them, do you think I would be as mean as Joss?
Feedback: Would be very very appreciated! I would like to know if I suck or should bother doing this.
Author's Notes: Okay, this is my first fic I've ever dared to send out. I'm taking a big leap here. Here is something important regarding the fic: I have not written the beginning scenes yet! Just pretend that Buffy and the Scooby gang (including Riley) are in L.A. for some demon-related reason. Here goes!

And then the demon exploded into a pile of ash and all was silent. Buffy and Angel faced off. Buffy dropped the sword. Riley stood beside Buffy, looking confused.

"Who's he?" he asked.

"Angel!" said Willow, in her happy Willow-way. "It's nice to see you again!"

"Angel?" asked Riley uncertainly to Buffy. "Your...ex-boyfriend?" Buffy turned to Riley. "Right. Angel. Ex." She glanced at Angel for a moment, loving the sight of his brooding face, his dark clothes. "He's a...private investigator around here."

"Oh. Nice to meet you," said Riley, although he was feeling a little uncomfortable.

Buffy and Angel still hadn't said anything to each other. "Guys?" said Buffy to her friends, after a moment, "do you mind going back now? I'll catch up later." Where in the world did that come from? she wondered. Oh well. Too late.

"But, Buffy--" began Riley.

"Riley, no," she said gently, placing her hand on his arm. "I'll see you later." She tried to give him a girlfriendly smile and failed. Riley was not that stupid. He noticed. With a sigh, he left with the others.

And Buffy and Angel were just left looking at each other.

"Well," said Buffy, after moments of silence, "this was a surprise. What, did Cordelia have a vision or something?"

"Yes," said Angel softly.

"Oh." Buffy exhaled. Maybe she should have gone home after all. "How is she, anyway? The last time I saw her was during..."

"Thanksgiving," Angel finished. They were both remembering the time Buffy had spent in Angel's office.

But Angel was thinking of something more.

"She's fine," he said finally.

Buffy nodded, and they started walking together, not quite sure where they were going or what direction they were heading in. It just felt natural to walk.

"I'm sorry about your friend," said Buffy softly, after a moment. "Doyle. I heard what happened."

"Oh," said Angel, "thank you."

They continued walking until they were out of the park. A shiny black convertible was parked at the side of the road.

"Your car?" asked Buffy. Figures, she thought.

Angel nodded, unsure of what he should do.

He didn't have to decide. "Angel...do you think--I mean, can I come home with you? Just to talk for a little while."

He was surprised, but he nodded. "Of course you can. But what about Riley?"

"Oh." Buffy gave a glance over her shoulder, in the direction Riley had gone. "He'll understand."

It was settled, then. Still quiet, Angel opened the car door for her. She was touched but said nothing. Angel started the engine and drove off.

The car trip was pretty bad. Mostly total silence. Buffy, amidst her boredom, noticed that Angel was a good driver. How come he never drove in Sunnydale? she thought, miffed. It would have been tons easier to have a little transportation. She realized she liked being in his car with him as the passenger. It made her feel safe. Maybe that's why I never really wanted to drive, she thought idly. I like having someone to protect ME for once.

Once they reached his house, though, the uncomfortableness was even worse.

"Can I get you something?" he asked.

"Yes please." He nodded and headed towards the kitchen.

"Actually, no," she said. "Yes. Uh, I mean..."

"Buffy?" he asked, a little confused.

"Angel, maybe I should go," she said. "I'm not really sure why I came here in the first place."

"Do you want to leave?" he questioned softly.

She looked at him levelly. "Do YOU want me to?"

"Of course not," he said. "I like seeing you again. It's just..."

"Weird," she finished. "I know. I was just getting over you and now I invited myself to your place. Maybe I'm asking for trouble."

"Trouble?"

"Yeah, you know," she said, "the stuff that usually follows us, no matter where we go? Angst and confusion and sadness and all of that other fun stuff?"

"Right," he said. "How could I forget."

He almost made a joke! she thought.

"So," he said, "how are you?"

She sat down on his leather chair. "Pretty good, most of the time," she shrugged. "Classes, yadda yadda yadda." She wondered how she could be so flip about this.

"Good," he said, "that's what I wanted for you."

"Is it really?" she asked. He looked at her. "I mean..." she continued, trailing off. "Never mind what I mean."

"No, what were you going to say?" he persisted.

She looked at him with the big, doe-eyed expression that he remembered. "I just meant...did you ever really want me to have a life without you?"

"Buffy--" he started to say, but she stopped him.

"Angel, no. I know that you want me to go to school, and parties, and have fun, and slay. I know you wanted to best for me. And it's happened! It really has! But don't tell me it doesn't eat you up inside, knowing that there are other guys."

He was silent, his jaw clenched. And Buffy felt a little bad. "I'm sorry," she said, "I'll go now." She got up and started to walk away.

"No, you're right," he said, stopping her. "Of course it bothers me. But I left you. I expected you to find other guys."

She sat back down. "So why is it bothering you to see me with Riley?"

He looked at her.

"Angel, I've been dating Riley for a few months. He's my boyfriend." She tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible. "And there are problems, but mostly it's okay."

"Does he know--"

"That I'm the Slayer? Yes," she said. "In fact, he's sort of a boy Slayer himself. Except with less stakes and holy water, and more security codes and tracking devices." She looked at him almost longingly, and a little wistfully. "But he's nice. And relatively normal."

"Then I'm happy for you," said Angel shortly.

"Oh, come on," Buffy said, rolling her eyes, "There must be some woman in your life for me to be jealous of. Someone who likes you."

"Yes," he said, "there is someone who has feelings for me. But it's not returned."

"Oh, God," said Buffy. "It's not Cordelia, is it, because that would be--"

"No," interrupted Angel, "it's not Cordelia. Her name is Kate. She's a cop."

"A cop." Buffy nodded. "Someone older. And someone who fights evil in her own way, right?"

"She knows I'm a vampire," said Angel, "and yes, she's older."

Buffy thought for a moment. "Wait.." she said, "Did you just say that the feelings aren't returned? As in you don't like her?"

"Oh, no, I like her," said Angel. "She's a good friend and resource. But I don't like her in that way."

He was doing that intent-staring thing that had always made Buffy blush. She reddened, and fumbled with her hands. Secretly, she was a little happy. Angel didn't like the older cop lady! Yay!

"That's too bad for her, then, isn't it?" said Buffy, regaining her composure. She looked into his eyes.

After a moment he broke the silence. "Buffy...would you...are you staying the night?"

She jumped up. "Oh God, is it that late? Everyone's probably freaking out, they thought I was just going on a walk with you or something!" She calmed down. "Angel, can I use your phone, please? In private?"

"Sure," he said evenly, and handed the portable phone Cordelia had made him buy. He motioned towards the bedroom and she left.

He sighed and sat down at the kitchen table as she shut the door behind her.

*****

"Willow? It's me," said Buffy into the phone.

"Buffy, where are you? Do you know what time it is?" Willow cried into the phone.

"Willow, chill. I'm at Angel's?"

Willow changed her tune. "Really?" she said delightedly. "What's happening?"

"Willow, stop it. Nothing's going on. I think I'll just spend the night here."

"Oh, Buffy, do you think that's such a good idea? I mean--"

"It's okay, Will. We're just talking," answered Buffy.

"Okay..." said Willow uncertainly. "But...but what do I tell Riley?"

Buffy was prepared for this question. "Tell him I'm at my dad's. He knows he lives here."

"Sure," said Willow, "that sounds like the best plan. Buffy...be careful tonight, okay?"

Buffy smiled a little. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll use precaution. Goodnight."

"Night," Willow echoed, and they hung up.

Angel offered Buffy something before she went to sleep. She declined. Silently, he handed her a long T-shirt of his and pointed towards the bed. She thanked him, not really sure what to say. She was mentally bashing herself--doofus, why did you agree to stay over, this is too weird, and even more stupid--as she crawled into his bed.

And then it hit her--this was his bed, the covers he slept under. She ached suddenly, overwhelmed by it all. She wept silently for a time, breathing in the smell of his pillows. Then she berated herself--stupid, he's going to hear you and come in here--wiped away her tears with the corner of his pillow case, and fell into a restless sleep.

Am I a total fool? wondered Riley. I let my girlfriend go off to "talk" with her ex-boyfriend. And she hasn't returned. What is wrong with me?

For all he knew, she and Angel had reconciled and were having wild naked sex all over his private-investigator office.

He had confessed some of this to Forrest. His so-called friend had laughed and clapped him on the back. "Smooth move, Riley," he had chuckled.

Yeah, thought Riley, real smooth.

See, he really liked Buffy. Really, REALLY liked Buffy. Forrest and Graham teased him endlessly. Riley was dangerously close to falling in love with the Slayer, Buffy Summers, God help him.

He liked her sense of humour. Oh, and that cute little half-smile thing she did. And her kisses. She was beautiful and strong and exciting. And he had truly believed she had liked him back.

And now she had gone home with her tall, dark and brooding ex-boyfriend the private investigator wearing the leather coat.

Relax, Riley, he told himself. She's probably talking. Yeah, talking.

*****************

Soft, sweet kisses, quickly growing more passionate. Hands pulling at quickly disappearing clothes. Tanned skin meeting pale, hands entwining. Murmurs of love and endearment. The peak of excitement, growing over both of them, spreading through their bodies--

Buffy sat up with a gasp, breathing heavily. Oh God, she thought, it wasn't a dream, I'm in Angel's bed, it was REAL--

Then she sighed as realization hit her. Of course she was in Angel's bed. She had spent the night. Dumb, dumb Buffy.

She sighed again. Some dream.

She was distracted by the scent of scrambled eggs. She noticed the clock--10:30. She must have been tired after all that talking and unpleasant angst last night.

Tiredly, she struggled out of bed and padded towards the kitchen in her bare feet.

Angel was cooking. Angel can cook? she wondered briefly, before he noticed her.

"Hey," he said. "Good sleep?"

How civilized we sound, thought Buffy, like there is absolutely no tension between us and I'm not standing in his kitchen half-dressed. Who are we fooling?

She tried to smile and nodded. "Uh huh. Eggs?"

"Yeah," he said.

She raised an eyebrow. "You're making me breakfast?"

"Yes," he said. "You're too thin. You should eat a full meal."

She gave him a hurt and incredulous look. Never had he said anything so directly to her about the way she looked.

But he was ignoring her. "Sit," he said, and she grumpily complied. He handed her a plate of eggs, some toast, and a glass of orange juice. She began to eat.

It tasted good. She was hungry, she hadn't had much of a dinner last night. She noticed him examining her, in the way he always had, his dark eyes carefully checking her over. She pretended that she didn't notice and ate her fill.

She put her fork down on the table. They were both quiet. The only sound was the ticking of the clock. Then--

"Buffy--"

"Angel--" she said simultaneously.

They both laughed a little. "You go," he said generously.

She took a deep breath, then looked at him directly. "Angel, last night I was doing some thinking. About us. And about Riley. And I decided that me and you, me and him--it doesn't matter who I'm with, it's going to end badly. I know what I said last night--that Riley's a nice, normal guy. And he is. But my relationships are doomed. I mean, I'm not going to send Riley to Hell and run away for a few months, I just meant that I don't feel secure enough to be in a steady relationship with him. He deserves more. And eventually, down the road, he's going to ask me to marry him--or something--and I'm going to have to say no."

"Buffy--" Angel interrupted.

"Because I'd rather have it end badly with you."

Another silence. Angel looked touched. And a little amused.

"Angel, what?" she asked.

"I--I was just going to ask if you wanted Cordelia to drive you home this morning."

"Oh, God," said Buffy, "Look, there's my foot, once again aiming for my mouth." She looked miserable.

"No, Buffy," he said softly, "I understand. Everything. And--and I would have to agree that your my favourite bad relationship, too." He regarded her with love. "Except--"

"Except what?" she asked.

"Except it doesn't always have to end badly."

Her eyes got big and just a little bit hopeful. "Oh, Angel..."

And then, before she could say another word, she was in his arms, on top of the kitchen counter, and he was kissing her.

She shook under him. It was such an overwhelming shock, to feel his kisses again. His mouth took hers ravenously, his hands gripped her back and ran through her hair. Oh it, was so, so wrong, no matter what they said, it wouldn't work it.

But it felt so deliciously right.

These were the kisses she remembered and had ached for for the longest time. She realized she was crying a little. He pulled back from her, concern written on his face. With his thumb, he gently wiped away her tears.

"Don't cry," he said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"I know," she said, and kissed him again. Buffy stayed with Angel all day, talking and occasionally kissing. She was still worried over the deal with Riley. She was so confused. She loved Angel, he loved her back. She had a caring boyfriend back home. She didn't want to hurt either of them.

But it felt so nice to kiss him again.

He drove her back to Sunnydale at sun down. They kissed briefly outside of the college, and he said he would call her soon. They would make this work, he said. He would talk to the Powers that Be, he promised. She watched him drive away, avoiding going up to her dorm for as long as possible.

Finally, she sighed, gave up, and went up to her room.

Giles, Xander, Willow and Riley were there.

"A welcoming comittee," said Buffy, as she opened the door. "I didn't know you guys cared so much."

"Buffy, how could you have been so irresponsible?" demanded Giles.

"Giles, I can explain," she began.

"You skipped your classes, and we have an unusual amount of vampires prowling about tonight. Why didn't your father drive you back sooner?"

Buffy realized that Willow had told the lie to everyone. And apparently, they believed it. She glanced over at Riley. Actually, he didn't look so convinced.

"Oh, well, you know, father daughter bonding," Buffy tossed off lightly.

"Hmm. Well, we're going on a second patrol tonight. You'd better get ready," said Giles.

"Will do," said Buffy. Giles and the others left the room, but Buffy caught Riley's arm.

"Riley, can I talk to you for a second?" she asked.

He hesitated, then nodded. "Sure," he said.

As soon as everyone else left, Buffy shut the door. "Riley, I want to explain," she said in a low voice.

"Where were you all day?" he asked. "Really?"

She sighed. "I didn't want to lie to you," she said, "I just didn't know how to tell you."

"Tell me what?" he demanded. "That you were with your ex-boyfriend all night, and all day?"

"Riley, listen to me," she said. "You don't know the whole story--a lot has happened between Angel and I. And a lot has changed."

"So you were with him for twenty-four hours and so much has 'changed' that you're back together now?" He glared at her. She didn't meet his look.

"Riley, you have NO idea what I've been through," she said, her eyes raising to meet his. "I have a lot of history with Angel and that just can't disappear. It's not like I can turn back time and pretend none of that crap with Angelus never happened and run off with you..." She trailed off.

"Angelus?" Riley questioned.

Buffy's eyes grew big. "Oh, um, that's his real name. Uh, I mean his gang name. No, I don't mean that. I meant--"

"Buffy," said Riley, in a low voice, "I know who Angelus is."

"What?" Her voice trembled dangerously.

"After I found out you were the Slayer, I looked in some of Giles' books, reading up on the history of Slayers, and vampires, and other things." She was staring at him. "Angelus was the Scourge of Europe, right?" he continued. "The one with the angelic face?" He shook his head. "I knew he looked familiar. History texts are really excited by this guy." Riley was so angry, his jaw was clenching.

Oh God, thought Buffy.

Riley was pacing around the room now. "So you dated a vampire, huh? Isn't that poetic. A Slayer and a vampire." He turned to look at her.

"Okay, Riley, I know what you're thinking," said Buffy. "Yes, Angel and I dated for a while. But he has this gypsy curse--he has his soul. He's a good guy. I wouldn't have dated him if he wasn't."

"Maybe if you hadn't dated him at all, this would be easier," said Riley shortly. Buffy stared at him, hurt. Riley sighed and sat down on the bed.

"I'm sorry," he said, "that was low."

"It was," she agreed softly, "but you have a right to be angry."

"It's just--it's just that it's so unheard of," said Riley. "Slayers kill vampires, not go out to dinner with them."

"Angel and I were never that conventional," said Buffy, joining Riley on the bed. "Most of our dates were spent in graveyards, hunting down the latest bad guy. And you can't really call that dating."

"Did Giles know? And the others?" Riley asked.

"Of course," said Buffy. "We all didn't find out he was a vampire until a while after I met him, though. But once we understood about the curse, everyone was mostly okay with it."

"What changed?" aksed Riley.

Buffy sighed. Here came the hard part. "There's this clause, this loop hole, in the curse. And the deal it, if Angel reaches true happiness, he looses his soul. And reverts back to the killer Angelus."

"True happiness? I don't get it--" Riley saw the look in Buffy's eyes, and got it. "Oh," he said. "So you...slept with him."

"Yes," said Buffy.

"And he turned evil again."

"Yes," she repeated softly.

"When did all this happen?" he asked.

"1998," she said, "until about May."

"Why? Did he turn good again?"

"Something like that," she answered uncomfortably.

Riley sighed, rubbing his head tiredly. "I remember that year. A lot of deaths due to vampires. Big year for the Initiative."

Buffy looked miserable. "Riley, I'm so sorry you ahve to find out this way," she said. "It's not easy for me, either. But don't you...don't you feel better knowing?"

"No," said Riley, "I can't say that I do."

*****

Buffy wandered around the college campus by herself, a stake in her hand. After she had talked it out with Riley, she had eaten a Snickers bar, then decided to go on a walk/patrol by herself. She felt like crap. Angel loved her again and Riley was furious with her.

"Buffy," called a voice outof the darkness.

Buffy whipped around, startled. "Oh. Willow. You scared me."

"Sorry," Willow said. She stared walking beside Buffy. "So, looks like you were in some pretty serious thought there."

"Willow, I told Riley about Angel," blurted out Buffy.

The red-head's eyes grew large. "You what? How much did you tell him?"

"Everything." Willow looked shocked and Buffy glum.

"Oh, Buffy," said Willow. "Well...what did he say?"

"I think the Buffy and Riley relationship is on the cutting room floor temporarily," Buffy answered.

"But not forever," said Willow helpfully, "Every relationship has bumps. Think of this as a pot hole in the road."

"But there's more to it. Last night...Angel and I sort of got back together. Well, not totally, but we talked some things out."

"Was there kissing involved?" asked Willow sternly. At Buffy's look, she shook her head. "Buffy, I thought you and Angel agreed that being apart was better for the time being. Remember, that's why you went through all those months of angst and anguish before you ment Riley."

"I know, I know. Believe me, I remember the anguish," said Buffy. "But...when I saw him, I remembered...why I loved him so much."

Willow looked sympathetic. Buffy sighed. "Oh, come on. I need to patrol. Maybe if I pulverize some vamp it'll make me feel better."

Willow put her arm around her friend and they walked off together.

*****************

When Angel entered the Oracles' domain, the male oracle sighed. "You again."

"What brings you here now, warrior?" asked the female oracle.

"I am here to plead," said Angel. "I've brought this." He tossed the male an antique cameo brooch, once belonging to a wealthy girl Angelus had tortured. "Circa 1885."

The male inspected it and nodded in satsifaction. "Very nice. Tel us what you intend to plead for."

Angel moved around the chamber, not quite sure where to begin. "Months ago, when the Slayer, Buffy, visited me, you turned back time so her life would be saved. And I didn't let the Mohra demon turn me into a mortal again. I retained the memories of the day and killed Mohra. I didn't let the same thing happen again, no matter how tempting it was."

"You feel that makes you worthy of something?" inquired the female.

"Yes," said Angel. "I feel that it was a test for me, sent by the Powers that Be."

"You are not entirely wrong," said the female oracle.

"We knew you would come to this realization," said the male. "We just gave it some time."

"And now you want to beg for a reward for your endurance and bravery?" continued the female.

"Yes," said Angel. "I want--"

"Hush," said the female. "The Powers know what you want. You just have to look inside your own soul to find it."

And then Angel felt something go through him, like a rush of light. The Powers in my soul, he thought.

Angel blinked. In front of him was a blurry, conjured-up vision of Buffy, walking forlornly in a graveyard.

"Hmm. So that is what you soul desires," said the female. She waved her hand and the vision disappeared.

Both Oracles looked towards the heavens, as if expecting a signal from the Powers. After a moment, it seemed to come, and the female looked at Angel. "It is done," said she. "Your curse is permanent. There is no clause."

Angel struggled to stay standing. It wasn't humanity, but it was the next best thing. He was happy.

Happy, he thought, I can be at peace now.

"That's all?" he asked. He had at least expected a headache or something.

"Yes. Go, and be happy, Angel," said the female, and she and the male turned away. Angel was lifted off of his feet and slammed through the portal into the real world.

He picked himself up, took several metaphorical breaths, and went home.

**************

"Angel? Angel?"

He shook his head and focused. Buffy was looking at him strangely.

"Huh?" he said.

"You've been staring into space for a full minute. Is something wrong?"

"No," she said, getting up and moving across the room, "Nothing's wrong anymore."

It had been a week since his curse had been fixed. Buffy had dropped by his office, wanting to talk. He had still not told her about the curse.

So now, he decided, I'll tell her now.

And he did, quickly and quietly.

After it was over, Buffy stared at him, tears pooling in her eyes.

"So...there's no happiness clause now," she said, trying to take it all in.

"Yes," he whispered.

"How come the Powers just didn't make you human?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Because they know I can't turn my back on my duties," he answered.

"But we can be together now," she said. Then her face opened in a smile. "You know, despite all the problems that this is going to cause on top of problems, I haven't been this happy in a long time."

He gathered her in his arms, and thanked the Powers that Be.

****************

To celebrate, they went out to dinner. Candle light, expensive dishes, a violin player. Buffy smiled and kissed Angel and ate. She also worried about Riley.

She didn't tell Angel, but he knew. He would always know.

"Buffy..." he said, on the drive home, "I'm sorry for anything I've put you through."

"I know," she said. "I'm just glad you're redeemed now." She gave him a small smile. "No happiness clause. This makes everything better, Angel," she said, but they both knew it did not and never would.

To reassure him, she rested her hand on his thigh as he drove and smiled at him again.

"So..." he said, "what are you going to do?"

She looked at him, loving his dark eyes. "I don't know," she said honestly. "I don't want to hurt Riley." She turned to look out of the car window, the light of passing cars playing across her features. She thought for a moment.

"But," she continued, looking at him again, "I know that what Riley and I had will never even come close to what I have with you. Angel, you and I..." She began shake as tears rolled down her face. He let her cry for a while.

"I love you so much," she said, after wiping away her tears. "And I know our love is worth breaking up with Riley for. It's just...he was there for me, when you were gone and I was down. He held me up. He was my bridge. And I'm grateful for that."

"I'll be your bridge now," he vowed softly.

She smiled at him, a real smile this time. "I'm thankful for that, too."

She slept at Angel's that night.

Well, "slept" wasn't the operative word. Their love making was sweet and drawn-out, after so many months of being apart. And in the morning, she dressed, kissed him briefly, and went back to Sunnydale.

***********

The time has come, she decided.

And in his way, Riley already knew. As soon as she entered his room he could tell by the look in her eyes.

She told him the only way she knew how: fast. She explained about the curse being fixed. She told him where she had been last night. And she also said that she could not be with him anymore.

He understood. He tried to accept it. He even told Buffy that he had expected it. But it did not make him or her feel better.

"It's for the best," she told him, before leaving his room. "And I'm sorry."

***********

The next night, Angel came to visit Buffy. He met her in the grave yard. She was sitting on top of a stone grave, her legs dangling, and thinking quietly.

He approached her silently, but she was not startled--she had felt his presence long before he was near her.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hi," she said, an echo of a smile on her lips.

"What were you thinking about?" he asked her, taking a seat on the stone beside her.

"I broke up with Riley today," she said.

His heart soared but he said nothing.

"Angel?" she asked, after a silent pause, "how many people have you broken up with that you cared about?"

"One," he said solemnly, looking at her. She turned her head to meet his gaze and smiled. She moved closer to him and curled up to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"...Angel? Does this change everything?" she asked softly, looking up at him.

"Yes," he said, "but in some ways not at all. I'm...I can't give you some things you want. So that hasn't changed."

"True," she said, "but we can be together now. And I love you. And you love. And that'll make up for picnics under the sun any day."

He tightened his grip on her. How very wrong I was to leave her, he thought. She had known, she had always known. I did not give her enough credit.

She was not the immature one. I was the fool.

They wrapped their arms around each other, being each other's support, the way they had always been. They were safe and they were together now, no matter what would come, be it female cops or ex-boyfriends or the opening of the Hellmouth. And that's all they had, all they wanted, and all they would ever need.