Rating: It's just like the show.
Feedback: Please, I would love you for it!!!!!
Disclaimer: Not mine. Duh.
Summary: Buffy's living a life without Angel quite happily, but you know that can't last for long.
Author's note: This is to all the kind people who wrote me before and told me how much they liked my other story. Thanks!

Buffy walked down the street under the bright sun, deeply breathing in the fresh air. She smiled at people walking by her. She was in a great mood; vamp activity in Sunnydale was way down, which meant safer citizens. Buffy liked keeping people safe.

She stopped at a sidewalk vendor and bought a hotdog. She continued on her way to Giles' shop, dodging past tourists and joggers. She cut down a side street of small shops and boutiques and reached the bookstore. She pushed open the door and smiled at Alice, who was working behind the counter. Buffy spotted Giles shelving books and approached him from behind."Hi," she chirped.

He turned, startles. "Oh-hello," he said. "How are you?"

She chewed her hotdog. "Good. Slept well."

"And patrol?" he asked.

"I did a few sweeps. Really clean, only two stakings." She watched him put a few biographical books on the shelf.

"Good," Giles murmured absently. He didn't appear to be paying much attention and she frowned.

"Anything wrong?" she asked.

"Hmm?" he said. "Oh--no. Nothing at all."

"Well," said Buffy calmly, "you have that 'something's wrong' look on your face."

"How do you know?" Giles asked, a bit indignantly. "Th-this could just be a normal facial expression."

"It's all in the eyes. And, the brow," she told him. She finished her hotdog. "It's OK if you don't want to tell me, I always find out eventually." She smiled cheerfully and picked up one of the books. "'Ten Ways to a Better Financial Future'? Who would actually read this?"

*****

After graduating from UCS with a degree in psychology, Buffy had started working in therapy. She counselled mostly troubled kids from bad backgrounds. She loved her job more than she had expected to. Willow owned a computer company and practiced witchcraft on the side. She had married Oz after sorting through some problems during college and now they were a happy couple. He had done very well with his music and they wanted to have a baby in the next few years.

Xander had actually gone to college when he was older and now owned his own business. (He did a lot better than his parents had expected him to.) He and Anya were still dating.

Giles had never married but Buffy knew he and Olivia were still dating, although he rarely talked about it. Years ago he had opened up a bookstore called The Blueberry Scone (title courtesy of Xander, who had drawn the short straw and got to name the store). Of course, people generally thought it was a bakery that sold books, but the store did well.

And so Buffy led a good life. Nice job, nice friends. She was still the Slayer, but it seemed like every day there were less vamps and demons to kill. She lived close-by to her mother. She had boyfriends. She had a nice apartment.

Still, for years, something had been missing in her life--in her heart--and she felt it every day. Sometimes it got unbearable and she cried. Sometimes she could forget about it.

It was Angel, and everyone knew it.

Buffy knew that he was a detective of sorts. She knew that Cordelia, who was a rising actress, was very close to him. She knew that Wesley still worked for Angel. But Angel was not in her life, and knowing about him was not enough.

Still, she couldn't do much about it. She hadn't talked with Angel in years, not since he had endangered Riley's life accidentally.Riley. A hard lesson to learn. They had broken up the year Buffy last spoke to Angel. Riley couldn't accept the fact that Buffy had dated a vampire. He couldn't accept the fact that this vampire still cared for Buffy, and he couldn't accept that Buffy might have feelings for the vampire, too. Buffy and Riley had moved on.

Buffy wasn't dating anyone, now. Her latest relationship had been with Mark, who had transferred jobs and moved away. He wasn't serious enough to bear the strain of a long-distance relationship, so they broke up.That was Buffy's rule now: don't keep it serious. Let him go before he says "I love you." Too much pain ensued otherwise. Keep it light and be happy.

That was her plan at all times. Try not to cry over Angel, and stay happy.

~the night before~

Angel put down the phone and stared off into space.

Giles sounded good. They had purposely avoided the topic of Buffy. However, they had talked about Giles' store and Angel's business and Cordelia's new-found fame.

Of course, the conversation strayed towards demons, as always. It was something in their lives that no one could forget. Angel told Giles that vamp activity was low in L.A.

And then Giles said something sort of disturbing. "Angel, I believe that the reason vampire activity has been so low recently is because a bigger evil is coming to the Hellmouth."

"It's true, that can be a warning sign," said Angel slowly, "but do you really think that's the reason?"

As usual, Giles said he would research. And Angel asked Giles not to tell Buffy of his call.

"Can I ask why not?" asked Giles gently.

"Oh...well, she has her life now...I don't want her dwelling on the past too much," was Angel's short excuse.

The men said good-bye and hung up.

~cut to the next night~

Buffy, dressed in dark clothes, walked through a graveyard. She was actually bored during this patrol.

"Come on, vamps," she whispered to the darkness. "Slayer needs a few more kicks before she turns twenty-five."

She heard something behind her and spun around. Nothing. She squinted and eyed the black night. She turned again and kept walking.

Again, she heard something, a fleeting noise behind her. She rolled her eyes, faced the sound, and put her hands on her hips. "OK," she said, "I know it's fun to play games sometimes, but I was never good at Hide and Go Seek."

It finally appeared from out of the shadows. Buffy smirked, put her hands on her hips, and faced whatever it was.

"I see you," she taunted.

It was at least seven feet tall, with human features. It wore armour--or maybe it was its skin?

"Wow," said Buffy, almost in wonder, "you're a really really ugly demon, aren't you?"

Before she could make one move, it grabbed her by the waist and lifted her high above its head. She flailed her arms and legs in mid-air before it threw her down to the ground.

"Ow," she moaned. She tested out all of her limbs before getting up.She raised her stake and faced the demon. "That wasn't very nice," she snapped. "I'm going to have to kill you." She looked down at her stake and frowned. "With a stake." She shrugged. "It may not work, you know, but at least it'll hurt you a little."

The thing roared at her.

She made a face. "Eew," she said. "Try a breathmint, would you?"

The demon swung a punch at her and she ducked. She threw one back. It kicked, she kicked. The sparred for several minutes before Buffy managed to get the thing on the ground, pinned beneath her foot. Whenever it struggled she wacked it on the head with her stake.

Desperately, she looked around for a better weapon and saw none. "Oh, dammit," she mumbled to herself. She sighed, and then plunged the stake into the heart of the demon.

It howled and bled. Again, she drove the stake into its heart and finally it lay, dead.

She stood, wiped her hands off, and started for home. Then, out of the shadows, another demon identical to the one she just killed, appeared. And another. And another and another.

Buffy took one look and ran home as fast as her legs would carry her.

*****

"I'm afraid that it could mean something very is going to happen," said Giles. "From your description, this sounds like a group of ancient demons called the Shakaron."

"But it's been so quiet lately," protested Buffy, "how could this be happening?"

Giles poured her more tea. "Honestly, I'm not sure. Perhaps the Shakaron's presence in Sunnydale--"

"--scared all the vamps away?" finished Buffy for him. Giles shrugged helplessly.

"I need to read more on it," he said.

"Well, Giles, do it soon," Buffy said. "This guy was a true fighter. Really strong and fast. And I was caught totally off guard. I had to improvise with my stake."

"There might be a weapon meant especially to kill a Shakaron. I'll have to see," said Giles.

"OK. Do that," said Buffy. She examined her hands. "I'm going to get the demon blood off me. Goodnight." She left Giles' apartment.

"Goodnight," Giles called after her. As soon as she was gone, he picked up the phone and dialed.

"Giles, something's come up--" began Angel.

"Shakaron?" guessed Giles.

"Yeah," said Angel, "how did you know?"

"We had a few appear around here, as well," said Giles. "How many were there?"

"I killed two and I saw two or three more."

"Buffy killed one and she said there were three others," said Giles.

"What do you think this means?" Angel asked.

Giles thought for a moment. "I think it means you'll have to come here and fight with us," he said sombrely.

*****

Buffy and Willow strolled down the crowded down town streets during their lunch break, respective bottles of Snapple in their hands.

"So Giles thinks that this new group of demons is going to cause some big trouble," Buffy was telling Willow.

"But it's just a group of demons, right?" said Willow. "You've handled stuff like this before."

"Well, I just figured that I would get a really big sword and cut their heads off," said Buffy. "Unless..."

"...unless they open the Hellmouth and end the world before you can kill them?" supplied Willow.

"Yeah," said Buffy. She blew out a breath. "I just wish I knew what was going on."

*****

"So they definitely will try to open the Hellmouth?" Buffy asked Giles, a big book open on her lap. She scanned the pages.

"Yes," said Giles, looking through his own book, "unless we kill them first."

Buffy set down the book. "Well, at sundown, I'll get right on it," she said. She stood and prepared to leave.

Giles stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm. "Buffy, it may not be that easy," he said.

"How is it harder?" she asked.

He thought. "Well...uh, there is an unusual amount of demons."

"Good point," she said thoughtfully. "You think they may be lurking in other demony places, too? Like other than the Hellmouth. Maybe L.A.?" As she spoke she pulled a bottle of water from her purse and opened it.

"Yes, well, I've actually been checking up on that," said Giles. "I--I called Angel."

Buffy choked on her water.

"He said that he also killed some of the Shakaron demons and has spotted many more. They're dangerous, Buffy. There could possibly be many groups of them scattered over an area. I'm fairly certain that soon they'll convene here and try to bring about armageddon."

She did not appear to be listening to him. "What...what did Angel say?"

Giles looked at her with a fair amount of softness. "He's well, Buffy. He's even considering coming down here to help you fight."

Again, Buffy had difficulty swallowing. Giles let her recover for a moment before gently taking the book away from her."You'll patrol tonight?" he asked.

She nodded, but seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. She wandered out of his apartment, an look of concentration on her face.

*****

Angel zipped up his duffel bag and faced Cordelia. She hugged him lightly--something that had taken her years to do--and smiled. "Try not to turn evil," she told him, before he went up the elevator. He rolled his eyes, just a bit, and went up.

"And don't fight too much with Buffy! It'll just make you broodier!" she called after him.

She smiled again when she heard him say, "Yeah, yeah."

He went to the parking garage underneath his building and got in the car. Before starting the engine he paused and stared at nothing, thinking. What Cordelia had said made some sense. He shouldn't fight too much with Buffy, he shouldn't fight at all. He shouldn't even be going.

He was startled out of his thoughts by his cell phone ringing. He picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Angel, will you leave already?" came Cordelia's impatient voice.

"How do you--"

"Look, if you don't confront the past, how can you ever let it go? Now, don't sit there and brood for another minute. Go."

He smiled fondly. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Geez, if I wasn't here, you would just be sitting in the dark THINKING all the time. And--"

He sighed. "Bye, Cordy." He hung up the phone in the middle of her rant.

****

Buffy paced the length of Giles' living room. He watched her with some impatience.

"Why isn't he here yet?" she said.

"Traffic may have been bad," he reminded her.

She chewed on her knuckle, an old habit. "Oh. Right." She paced a few more steps before looking at Giles.

"Should I even be here?" she asked. "I mean, he's just coming back to help me kill this Shaky thing. It's strictly business. It's not like a reunion. I don't need to be here. I'll just fight the demons and he'll help me and then he'll go home. We don't even need to say two words to each other."

"Who exactly are you trying to convince?" asked Giles gently. Well, he did have a point.

She pouted at him and starting biting her nails.

When a car was heard in the driveway she leapt to attention. She seemed to be deciding between running to the door or hiding behind the couch. When Willow walked in the door Buffy looked relieved. She ran over to Willow and hugged her fiercely. Willow was surprised.

"Buffy?" she managed to ask.

"I thought you were Angel!" said Buffy. "Thank God. OK." She released Willow, who sat down on the couch next to Giles, still looking surprised. Buffy resumed pacing.

"She's a little tense," Giles confided to the witch.

"Only a little?" said Willow sarcastically.

Another car pulled up in front of the house. Buffy peeked out the curtains. Black vintage car, top down. Guy in the driver's seat, who appeared to be sitting there and thinking.

Buffy paled. Then, she couldn't contain herself. She walked quickly to the door, flung it open. She began walking faster and faster down the driveway. She raced towards him, her heart pounding. He got out of the car and faced her. She was breathing heavily from the run, her long hair flying everywhere. She stood in front of him. Her face broke into a smile. "Hi," she said.

Angel just stared at her. He drank in her small shape and her big eyes and her golden hair, and listened to her shy, sweet voice say that single word, hi, and he loved and remembered the way her lips formed that syllable. And the smile on her face matched the one she had worn on that day years ago, the day that had been taken away from their reality.

He said the same word back to her, and they kind of stood there and looked at each other for a while. He realized he was smiling, a little foolishly. Finally, she gently took his arm and led him up the driveway.

They entered Giles' apartment together. "Hi, Angel!" said Willow.

Giles also smiled. "Welcome back."

"Thanks," said Angel.

The four of them stood there for a moment, not really saying anything. Buffy coughed. Angel shoved his hands in his pockets and Willow fidgeted.

"Well, let's go kill some demons then," said Giles brightly after a brief silence.

"Good plan," said Angel.

They exited the apartment, ready to fight.

*****

Willow drove home after seeing Angel again, claiming that she would only be a liability when Angel and Buffy (and Giles, if needed) were fighting.

So, after she left, Buffy, Angel and Giles formed a quick plan; Giles handed them each weapons; he told them to be careful. Then they were off in their respective cars, Buffy riding with Angel.

Her car ride with her ex was pretty silent. He kept shooting little glances at her, as if he couldn't believe she was actually THERE with him. She loved this and tried to pretend that she didn't notice.

Eventually, though, she had to ask. "What?"

"What?" he said quickly, taking his eyes off her.

"You-you keep looking at me," she smiled.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I-I just missed looking at you, that's all."

Her smile grew. "I know. I missed seeing you, too."

She rested her hand on the space between the driver's seat and the passenger seat. Almost unconsiously, at the exact same time, he reached out and his hand rested on hers. He didn't take his hand away. They held on to each other, tentatively, enjoying the quiet night.

Buffy was wondering if the casual hand-holding meant something more would happen.

Angel was wondering how her hands could possibly be that small; her skin that soft.

It was nice, Buffy thought as he drove, the way they had reached out to each other in unison. It was something they had not done since she was sixteen; sometimes they would be patrolling and without even thinking about it, they would be holding hands, walking together.

Buffy was actually surprised with the extent she had missed him. It hit her hard in some deep place within her. She hadn't known the feelings could be that strong, even though she had been weaned from him for years. Oh, Angel, she wanted to cry, it hurts, I missed you that much. How could I have not felt it before? I have never, ever felt this raw kind of pain and desire and emotion in my heart. I love you that much.

Of course, she could not say those things. It was breaking the rules. He had left so she would never say those kinds of words again.

Uncomfortably, she uncurled her hand from his.

*****

Buffy and Angel were walking together in a forest. For some reason, Giles had been sure the demons would come there. They had been silent together during the length of their patrol

He was looking at her again, sneaking little glances. He noticed things about her; like the rings on her fingers and how she smelled like vanilla, and the way her long black coat was buttoned. It was comforting and familiar to see these things again. She, however, wasn't looking at him.

"Angel?" she said, after a moment, "I feel weird."

He glanced at her sharply. He remembered saying those things to her once, in a day that had been taken away. He didn't say anything.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She shrugged a little. "Being around you...it stirs up a lot of old memories." She stopped walking and gazed up at him with her big, clear eyes.

"I didn't want that to happen," he said honestly, "I don't want to cause you more pain. I only came here to help you fight."

"Did you?" she asked frankly, and he couldn't answer.

"Buffy," he said slowly, after a terse moment, "you know that my feelings for you...they haven't changed. Can't change."

She was still looking at him. "Even after everything?" she asked, a little breathlessly, her eyes like stars to him.

"Yeah," he said softly, "even after everything."

He held her gaze for what seemed like an eternity. He was cursing himself in his mind the whole time--why did everything with Buffy have to be a big emotional drama? Why couldn't it be simple? Why did their feelings have to last? It made everything hard.

She took a breath, as if she was about to jump off a cliff and was waiting until the very last second. "Angel...even when I'm not with you..."

"I know," he said, "you're never without me."

She smiled at him softly, for understanding that much, and they walked on.

*****

"Damn it," Buffy whispered into the darkness after some time.

Angel halted by her side. "What?" he asked softly.

Buffy gazed at their surroundings. "They're around," she said urgently, "the demons."

He honed his senses in on it, and he agreed with her, they were around somewhere. Hiding.

"You said they're light on their feet, right?" he asked, and then they both jumped as a branch cracked behind them.

"Yeah," she said, turning around as they heard a footfall in the opposite direction. "Really swift, and--right in front of us."

The demons, six of them maybe, approached them. Then a few more came out of the shadows at the side. And more, and more, until the Shakaron demons formed a half-circle around Buffy and Angel.

"Angel?" she asked, her voice not scared or intimidated as it might have been when she was sixteen. She sounded like she was revelling in this. He admired her more for it.

"You ready?" he asked.

She nodded and began to slowly back out of the half-circle. "Stick to the plan," she told him.

"I'll be right here," he promised.

She glanced at him one more time before turning and running away.

The demons didn't really care that Angel was still left. They were angrier over Buffy's disappearance. Enraged, some of the demons began to chase after the Slayer. A few other demons stayed behind and Angel launched into battle with them.

Buffy was flying. She was running fast, her heart pounding and her adrenaline pumping. Her feet barely touched the ground as she tried to keep ahead of the demons.

She ran all the way back through the forest she and Angel had come through until she reached the clearing where Giles was ready with more weapons. He tossed her a large stun gun.

"Giles, we want to kill them, not knock them out for a few hours," she complained breathlessly.

He tossed her a dirty look. "Buffy, once they're knocked out you can kill them easily."

"Oh. Good point."

She barely had time to say anything else before seven of the demons ran towards Buffy and Giles. Buffy took a breath, raised her gun, and shot four times. Four of the demons went down.

Effortlessly, she traded the gun for a long, sharp sword that Giles had told her was made specially for killing the Shakaron. She and the remaining three demons went into battle, punching, kicking, ducking. Buffy managed to toss one of the demons on the ground and with one swipe of her sword, his head was gone and the demon was dead.

Before one of the last two demons could attack her, she turned, spun in the air, and sliced her sword gracefully through his neck. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Giles killing the knocked-out demons that were laying on the ground.

One more demon left. It seemed to be stronger than the last two--or maybe that was because she hadn't fought with it as much. It had lots of energy and seemed intent on using up all of its energy on killing Buffy. They sparred for several minutes and Buffy thought she was very near to killing it when the demon deftly grabbed her by the neck, carried her a few feet, and held up against a tree, choking her.

Her legs dangled in mid-air and she struggled, gasping for breath. Giles approached them from behind with the gun but he wasn't fast enough. The Shakaron demon turned and with one solid punch, he knocked Giles out.

Buffy tried to scream for Giles but she didn't have enough breath. Oh, God, she thought mindlessly, it's going to kill me. Where's Angel? Where is Angel?

And then, a split-second later, as if her prayers had been answered, she heard Angel's car coming towards the clearing. Fast.

Angel stopped the car and the minute he saw Buffy being strangled, he ran towards her. He grabbed the Shakaron by the shoulders, pulled him back roughly, and punched him violently, sending him to the ground. Buffy also fell. She stood up, coughing slightly, but immediately she picked up her sword. She faced Angel.

"You wanna?" she asked, motioning to the sword and meaning the kill.

He shrugged. "You go," he said.

She took two steps forward, lifted the demon off the ground by the neck, and stabbed him right through the heart.

Before it even fell down dead, Buffy had dropped the sword and raced towards Giles, who was now awake. Angel helped him up.

"Well," said Giles, looking a little dizzy.

"Well," echoed Angel.

"Fun night," said Buffy, and without another glance at the demons, they all headed towards their cars. Buffy took a second to scoop up the weapons on the way.

"We're going to have to do something with the bodies," Buffy remarked, as she handed the weapons to Angel, who had offered to carry them.

Giles shrugged. "Feel up for some shovelling tomorrow?"

Buffy sighed. "As long as I get to sleep in."

*****

After the fight was over Angel offered to drive Buffy home. She accepted. Then when they had reached her apartment, he asked if they could "talk" for a while. Which was, okay, nice of him and all--maybe he wanted to be friends?--but after what he had said about not wanting to stir things up, she was a little wary. Talking between them usually meant a lot of stirring.

Now Buffy was sitting on her sofa, uncomfortable. Apparently, Angel didn't have a lot to say. She pursed her lips. She adjusted her sweater. She examined her fingernails.

"So..." he said.

She shifted in seat, looking down at the floor. "So," she said. She avoided thinking about his nearness, but she could still FEEL it. His presence was affecting her like it always had, making her tingly and more aware.

She studied the laces on his shoes.

"Thanks for bailing me out tonight," she said softly, after more silence. His face lightened a little. It was almost like he was relieved that she was talking to him.

"No problem," he said. "It was what I came here to do, right?" noting their previous conversation that night.

"Angel, I'm sorry for what I said," Buffy apologized. "Of course I know you wanted to help." She said the words carefully, as if she was trying to believe them. She shrugged. "The last thing either of us wants to do is re-create old heartbreak, right?" She tried to make it a joke.

That was the wrongest thing she could say at that moment, he thought, before saying anything else.

"Buffy, I know I came here to help fight," he said, "but now that I am here, I think I should tell you something."

Oh God, thought Buffy, he has a girlfriend. He's engaged. He's marrying Cordelia! He's--

"The loophole--the loophole in my curse," he said hesitantly, "is gone."

Her eyes grew wide. "Wh-what?" she managed to croak. She told herself not to cry. However, tears were a part of knowing Angel and already she felt them in her eyes.

"I ran into an old gypsy a few years ago," he continued. "She had access to some powerful ancient resources. She knew of me, and helped me." He answered her unasked question.

Buffy sat on her sofa, crying and blinking like an injured child. He kneeled in front of her, taking one of her little hands in his and stroking her fingers, wishing this could be better for her.

"All this time," she said slowly, her voice trembling dangerously, "and you KNEW? You knew that there was no loophole?"

He avoided looking into her eyes. "You asked me not to speak to you again," he said, "so I didn't."

"Angel, that was six years ago. At the time I was upset, yeah. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't have come back to you if I had known about this."

"Would you have?" he questioned, looking at her finally.

"Yes," she said, "you know I would have."

"But, Riley--" he stammered, "all your other boyfriends-"

She reached a hand up to touch his face lightly. "They never could matter as much as you matter," she said to him. She pulled her hand away. "I'm not in high school any more, Angel," she told him, her voice no longer feeble. "I know what I want. I don't have to fumble over my decisions all the time. I hope you know that, by now."

"Yeah," he said, "I know."

She pulled him to her, and he felt the shock of her arms around him for the first time in years, and he closed his eyes and thought, How lucky I am that she still loves me, after all this time.

As she embraced him, she thought, How lucky I am that we can be together, for real. Unless...

"But, this means we--we can get back together, right?" she asked, pulling away from him and wiping her face with her sleeve. "I mean, if you want to try."

He was still kneeling in front of her and it felt very oddly like he was proposing. It was a tender moment.

"Well, yeah," he said, smiling a little at the way she didn't wait for things any more. "If you do?" She could hear the question in his voice, that little bit of hesitation that could keep them apart unless it was stomped under her foot and pushed away.

She opened the palms of her hands and spread her fingers. He placed her hands in hers.

"You don't even have to ask," she said.

******

For the rest of the night they talked, and talked, and talked. When it got late they stretched out on her couch, and opened a bottle of wine. He whispered all sorts of delicious things to her.

"I bought a house," he said. "We can live there. And we can take a trip to Ireland, if you want."

"OK," she whispered excitedly, kind of reeling. It had only been a day and now they were going to live together. It was sort of funny, from another point of view. She couldn't believe this was happening.

She curled up to him and laid her head on his chest. "Angel?" she asked softly. "I want this day to keep happening. I never want it to end."

He froze, unable to speak, unable to think. Deep down, in some unconscious level, she must remember. But he didn't say anything about it. "Sleep," he said, the words already memorized, like it was a script in a play. "We'll make another one like it tomorrow."

She smiled up at him, content. He kissed her very gently on the forehead. Buffy drifted asleep.

*****

Buffy felt unusually light when she woke up in the morning. Not air-headed or dizzy; but like the scent of lilacs, or whipped cream. It was relief. She yawned and stretched and just sat on her bed for a little while, grinning mindlessly, incredibly happy.

She briefly wondered where Angel had gone. They had not made love the night before, maybe that would be rushing things. She figured that he had left while she was sleeping. She didn't mind, though--she was excited thinking about what would come.

I want to talk to Willow, she thought, I'm definitely in the mood for giggling and girl talk. Buffy ached to spill to Willow everything Angel had said, so she got in her car and drove over to the Osbournes' house.

When Willow opened the door, her eyes lit up. She immediately invited Buffy in. "Hey!" she said enthusiastically. Then her smile got sly. "So. Tell me what happened."

Buffy grinned and said, "Well, we're going to Ireland," she said.

Willow made a happy sound. "You're so lucky! Can I come? Unless, this is sort of a one-on-one lovers' trip." Her eyes glinted impishly.

Buffy laughed. "No, you can come. You're gonna love it. All that witchcraft."

Willow smiled at the mere thought. "Yeah," she said dreamily. "Well, what else?"

"He just bought a house near here," Buffy said. "He says he's going to move the business there. I'm going to move, too."

"Wow," said Willow. "A lot happened in one night, huh?"

Buffy giggled. "Yeah. And he has a place in Ireland we can stay at." She sighed, lost in wonderful thoughts. "Will, this is perfect. Isn't this so perfect?"

"It's perfect," said Willow enthusiastically. "Except for one little part."

"What?" Buffy frowned. "Oh, the not having kids thing? I'm over that. We talked about it last night."

"No, I mean--you can't have sex, Buffy," Willow said frankly.

Buffy laughed. "I forgot to tell you that! His loophole is gone. No more happiness clause."

Willow's eyes widened. "What?"

"That's what I said, too," Buffy smiled. "But it's true."

Willow hugged her. "Oh, Buffy, I'm so happy for you. You deserve this more than anyone."

"I feel like my life is starting over," said Buffy, smiling. "New life with Angel. Like my old life is ending."

"It hasn't ended. This is only the beginning," said Willow.

Both girls smiled at each other like teenagers. Buffy felt completely happy and completely whole.

"So tell me about this trip," continued Willow.

Buffy took a breath and began.

*****

Hours later, Buffy and Willow were sitting in Willow's sun room, feet propped up, shoes off, and margaritas in hand. They lazily flipped through the pages of a shared bridal magazine.

"Do you think this is moving too fast?" asked Buffy. "We only got back together last night."

"No," said Willow. "You've been ready for this your whole life, right?"

She sat up. "Ooh," she said breathlessly, "Tiffany's. Think Angel would buy you a ring from Tiffany's?"

"The question is, would my mother buy me this Vera Wang dress," said Buffy jokingly.

Willow slumped back in her chair and sipped her drink. "This is great. You're getting married."

"Well, don't be too hopeful," warned Buffy, "he hasn't asked me yet."

"Oh, but he doesn't have to ask you, does he? Isn't this one of those understood things between lovers?" Willow asked earnestly.

Buffy laughed.

"OK," said Willow, closing their issue of Modern Bride. "I don't think Angel wants this wedding too modern. Let's look at Traditional Bride instead."

******

Angel ended up going home for a few days to do some work. He called her every day. He was supposed to come home on Friday night. Angel didn't show up that night, so Buffy went to sleep on the couch among all the bridal magazines and home-made wedding invitations that Willow had left lying around. (On the wedding invitation, Willow had doodled "Buffy and Angel" and surrounded it with hearts.)

Buffy thought she was dreaming. She was stirred by a hand brushing her hair back and a cool kiss on her forehead. She woke and turned over; he was looking down at her.

"Hey," he said softly, "sorry."

She blinked and said, "Hi."

He asked, "Why aren't you sleeping in your room."

"Um. Waiting for you," she said. She realized a beat too late that he had seen the magazines and other silly stuff; she quickly tried to gather it up."Oh-" she said embarrassed, but he was smiling.

"Come on," he said, and he picked her up and carried her to her room. He gently set her down on her bed and looked at her tenderly.

"I'm sorry I was late," he said, "I stopped at Giles' and was talking."

"It's OK," she said, but she wasn't thinking of that; all she wanted to do was pull him into bed with her. She COULD do that, but she wasn't sure if they were ready. We only got back together three days ago, she kept reminding herself.

"I'll stay here tomorrow," he said, "if you want-"

"I want," she blurted out, and they both smiled. She wondered why they were being so unsure of themselves, when they both knew what they wanted. It was habit, Buffy supposed. God, after talking so much, we'd BETTER know what we want, she thought wryly.

He moved silently around her room, piling some stuff on the table, taking his shoes off, undressing. Then he lay beside her on the bed.He looked at her. "I love you," he said. "And, we don't have to do anything tonight."

"We have time," she agreed.

He looked relieved, but also a little disappointed."But," she continued, "I don't feel like wasting time any more."

He smiled, and kissed her deeply, in the old familiar way.

She pulled back, a little breathless after the kiss. "Do you think we're ready?" she asked, gazing at him.

She already knew the answer. They finally, finally were.

******

Later, they were both calm and lying together lazily. He said to her jokingly, "So, Willow thinks we should get married, huh?"

She smiled. "She's been planning this for years."

Angel looked at her suddenly. "Would you ever want to?"

"Well-yeah," she said. "Of course. But down the road."

"Then let's," he said, tracing the contours of her face with his thumb. "Let's get married. Down the road."

Her head spun, but she said, "OK." She grinned, suddenly giddy, "Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said, "I want to marry you. Forever."

He looked down, a little sad. "I can't give you everything you want," he said. "No kids. I can't come in the daylight with you. We can't be a normal couple." He hesitated a little. "And--marriage is forever. So am I. But you aren't." He gazed at her. "I don't know what I'll do when you're gone, Buffy."

She touched his face lovingly. "I'm not gone," she whispered. "I'll never be without you."

He kissed her with so much love, it felt like his dead heart would beat.

~an unspecified amount of time later~

Willow and Buffy were back at the magazines, but Angel was in the next room, pretending he wasn't listening. Everyone knew by now about Angel's proposal, and Willow was especially excited, talking and planning and giggling.

After much contemplation, Willow had decided that Angel was the perfect husband (after Oz of course). Romantic, smart, and cute forever. Nothing better than that.

They examined Buffy's ring. "Very nice, Angel," Willow called to him."He won't tell me how much it cost," Buffy confided. "After the house, I didn't want him to blow everything on a ring, but he insisted."This was not a bad thing. The girls giggled.

Mid-laugh Buffy looked at Willow and hugged her. "Thanks, Willow."

"For what?"

"For being a friend. For always having hope in my relationship with him."Willow shrugged. "No matter what happened, I always knew it had to work out in the end."

Buffy smiled at her. Willow opened the bridal magazine again and they got back to comparing Buffy's ring to the one movie stars were wearing.

*****

*****

Buffy felt like she was in a dream. The colours were slightly blurred; the shape of her own body and Angel's body were fuzzy in her mind. Time moved slowly, it took maybe perhaps an hour for her hands to travel up to his face and trace his ear. His cool cheek was pressed up against hers, and his hands cupped her back. The lines of his body came into focus under her hands.

Then she realized that it wasn't a dream, this was real, this unbelievable world was her reality.

She sighed happily, very softly, and kissed him.

After the kiss his hands travelled up her sides, and he caught her palms in his. They lined their fingers up against each other.

"Buffy," he said to her, so quietly she could barely hear it, "are you happy?"

She kissed his hand. "Yes. You know that." She glanced at him. "Are you?"

"More than I thought was possible," he said.

"Really?"

He smiled softly, a little crookedly. "Yeah."

"I love you," she said. "You know what? I want a spring wedding. Next year. I want to be married when Willow has her baby."

"OK," he said, not really paying attention, just lightly kissing her ear.

She turned her head to glance out the window at the rainy landscapes of Ireland. He continued kissing her cheekbone.

"Angel?" she asked, a little distantly.

"Mmm," he said.

"Is this how you pictured your life to turn out to be?"

He looked at her suddenly. "Well--when I was human I didn't have any ambitions. I didn't want to make a difference in the world."

"You just wanted to get laid," she chided him gently, and he chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess," he said. "Then as Angelus my only ambition was to kill and kill. I got so used to existing that I never pictured my future at all. I never knew I would be cursed by Gypsies, and turned good, and come to California," she felt him smile against her hair, "and meet a girl, and fall in love with her."

She didn't smile, as he expected her to. Instead, she grew very serious. She gathered him to her, embraced him. "I'll never stop loving you," she whispered to him, "I'll never forget how much I love you. I'll never forget."

He closed his eyes silently, holding her tightly, and prayed that she never would.

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