Rating: PG
Summary: In the future, when Riley pops the question, Buffy has some choices to make about the kind of life she really wants.
Disclaimer: Yes, they're mine. I sneak into the studios at night, steal them, and make them do things my way until the morning.
Feedback: Oooh, yes please!
Notes: This is just an idea that popped into my head. I'm writing the next part of In My Dreams, I swear, but I had to get this out first before school tomorrow. :) Thanks for the lovely, encouraging feedback so far.

Buffy woke up beside Riley at 8:00 am and started out her day with a bowl of Cheerios, half a glass of grapefruit juice, and a glass of milk, followed by a quick run.

She arrived early for class, and even found herself answering questions and making comments during a lecture, because of course she and Willow had studied together the night before. ("Now that we're twenty-one, I think we should make more of an effort to study," Willow had said.)

She stopped for lunch with Riley, then attended another class; she went home and phoned Giles, making sure everything was okay; she then dressed in a pretty outfit with her new shoes and the perfect accessories for dinner that night with her mother, Riley, Willow, Xander, Anya, and Tara. Everything was completely normal.

She had a completely normal life with a completely normal routine and a completely normal boyfriend. Buffy Summers, Queen of Normalcy.

Lately she had begun realizing, with something like horror, that she had finally become what she'd wanted to be since she was fifteen: She was a pod.

And it was suddenly dawning on her, at a pretty inopportune time, that maybe it wasn't so great after all.

"Buffy, you look great," said Riley with a smile. "You ready to go? We don't want the others to be waiting."

She looked at herself in the mirror one last time, then nodded, forcing a smile. "Yup, let's go."

He held the door open for her, took her arm, helped her into the car, drove to her mother's house, like any other normal boyfriend would do.

"I hope your mom made that cake," enthused Riley on the way there. "I loved it."

"Uh huh," said Buffy, her mind on things other than her mother's cake.

Dinner was a normal affair with the normal conversation about classes and friends and work. Joyce had made the cake Riley loved after all. After about an hour, during coffee and dessert, Riley smiled, put down his fork, and faced Joyce. The conversation stopped.

"Mrs. Summers," he said, "I have something important to ask you. This is kind of a surprise for Buffy, especially since she doesn't know about it yet…" Riley grinned at Buffy and she paled, imaging the things that Riley could tell her.

"If it's all right with you," continued Riley gallantly to Joyce, "I would like to have your permission to have your daughter's hand in marriage."

Buffy choked and snorted water up her nose.

Joyce's eyes lit up in excitement, and she clapped her hands. Xander's eyes bugged. Willow clapped Buffy on the back while she was choking, looking a little alarmed. Tara did her best to look pleased, but had a feeling this was the question Buffy had least been expecting. Anya started cracking up.

Riley grinned, looking very pleased with himself. He turned to Buffy. "I love you so much. Will you marry me?"

"Um," coughed Buffy, but she was drowned out by her mother's excited chatter.

"Oh, Riley! You don't even have to ask! Of course it's yes! This is wonderful! I've been waiting so long for this to happen! Riley, you are such a gentleman for asking me beforehand. What a lovely surprise! Isn't it?" Joyce looked expectantly around the room.

The others chimed in with similar responses, all except for Anya, who was still laughing.

"You're- you're going to marry him?" she chuckled, then stopped when Xander gave her a sharp poke in the ribs. Everybody stared at her in silence. "How--nice!" she continued, saving face.

"Buffy, this is so exciting. We've got to start planning right away," gushed Joyce, gathering everybody's plates and bringing them into the kitchen. "My little girl, getting married!"

Buffy plastered on a smile for her mother. "Uh huh," she said weakly, with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. "Married." Riley smiled widely and kissed his new fiancé on the cheek.

Buffy and Riley went home together, like always. Their night consisted of the usual twelve minutes of sex, followed by exactly fifteen minutes of Jay Leno before bed at a reasonable hour.

"I love you, Buffy," Riley said drowsily, before drifting off to sleep. Slumber did not come that easily to Buffy. She sat in bed for hours, staring at the new addition to her hand: a small, sparkling diamond ring.

At two am, she gave up and dialed Willow, getting out of bed as carefully as possible so she wouldn't wake up Riley.

"Remember to bring the cows home, baby," mumbled Riley in his sleep, before turning over once more. Buffy made sure he was fully asleep and then stepped into the privacy of the bathroom, shutting the door.

"Willow? It's me. I don't think I can marry Riley," Buffy said abruptly.

"Uh oh. This doesn't sound like a good conversation," Willow yawned.

"I mean," said Buffy, beginning to pace the length of the bathroom floor, "think about it. Am I the type of person to get married? No! I would always be off slaying, I would never have times for the kids--and I could even be dead by then!"

"Don't say that," chided Willow gently.

"It's true," protested Buffy. "Riley needs someone else normal. He can't marry me. I'm not emotionally stable! Hello, I ran away for three months when I was seventeen?! And I've been expelled and- and almost arrested! And besides--Buffy Finn? What the hell is that? It doesn't even sound like a name."

"Sounds like a fish," agreed Willow sleepily. "Buffyfin."

"I would not be able to live if I had to introduce myself to people as a fish."

"Are you going to break up with him?" asked Willow next.

Buffy hesitated. "What do you think I should do?"

"Buffy," Willow began, in her consoling-best-friend-voice, "You've been attached by the hip to Riley for three years. He's a nice enough guy, and he would be a good husband. He has a good job."

"Those aren't reasons why I should break up with him."

"But, isn't that what you always wanted?" said Willow gently. "Normalcy?"

Buffy was silent.

"Goodnight, Buffy," Willow said softly after a minute, knowing she couldn't do much more to help, and hung up.

Buffy sank to the bathroom floor, dropping the phone. She leaned her head against the wall and sighed, staring at the ring on her finger, and thinking of what it meant.

~~~~~

Buffy didn't say anything to Riley the next day, or any other day. She acted like she was perfectly happy to be getting married to this perfect man.

The whole thing was made very final when a professional photographer took a picture of Buffy and Riley together and Joyce printed it up in the newspaper, along with an engagement announcement.

The next two months were as normal as usual, with the exception of the addition of wedding planning to her daily routine. Joyce seemed determined to plan the entire wedding herself, and do it in as little time as possible. Her motto seemed to be 'get Buffy married before it's too late.'

So Buffy's days were filled with phone calls to florists, scraps of fabric and samples of wedding invitations. Joyce excitedly shared everything with Buffy, but made most of the decisions for her.

"This gown is just perfect!" said Joyce happily one afternoon, fingering the picture of a lacy creation in a magazine. "And look, it's carried at a shop nearby!"

"Mom, that's too expensive," protested Buffy. She had been eyeing another, simpler dress on a different page.

"No, no, honey, I'll do anything to make sure your wedding is perfect." She smiled at her daughter. "Well, the dress is settled then. Let's look at cakes, shall we?"

~~~~~

After one particularly productive session of wedding planning (productive on her mother's half, at least), Buffy went home, and with the excuse that she was too tired to 'do' anything with Riley, crawled in bed and slipped into a dream.

"Wakey, wakey," came a voice, a small, little-girl's voice.

In her dream, Buffy jerked awake. She opened her eyes to see a tiny girl with enormous dark eyes peering down at her, a girl of about six, who was very familiar, although Buffy couldn't figure out why or how she recognized her.

"Who are you?" asked Buffy blurrily, rubbing her eyes. She glanced over beside her; the bed was Riley-free.

"I can't tell you that yet," answered the girl.

Buffy sighed and sat up in bed. "Oookay…so wanna tell me what you're doing here?"

The little girl shrugged, and smiled, an eerily familiar half-smile that spread gradually over her features. "A little bird told me that you were having wedding jitters," she said simply, speaking much more eloquently than any other six year old Buffy had ever met. "You think you have to make a choice, when really the choice is quite obvious. To me, anyway." She shrugged. "So, are you ready?"

Buffy looked at her. "For what?"

The girl smiled again, and outstretched her tiny hand. "To see your future."

~~~~~

When Buffy next opened her eyes, she was holding onto the little girl's hand, and standing outside, on the front lawn of a large house. Buffy heard children shrieking, heard a more adult voice above the din.

"Sarah! Susie! Sidney! Sammy!" said the louder, older voice, and Buffy realized with a start it was hers. Sure enough, from behind the house, appeared an older version of Buffy, with a baby, who looked to be about one, on her hip, and four children tagging along behind her. "Don't run onto the street!" she shouted. With her free hand, she rubbed her substantial belly. It dawned on Buffy that in the future with Riley, she would have to expect to give birth to six—SIX—kids.

"The baby is named Steven," whispered Buffy's companion confidentially. "And the one on the way, she's going to be named Stephanie."

"What happened to my hips?!" shrieked Buffy in horror, staring at her other self, who, even if she weren't pregnant, would be considerably larger than the present Buffy.

"That's what five children will do to you," replied the little girl.

As they watched, a car came down the street and pulled up in the driveway. The kids stopped pulling each other's hair and began shouting, "Daddy!" happily. They ran towards the car and Buffy followed along tiredly behind them, hoisting the baby on her hip.

Riley stepped out of the car, dressed in a suit, and greeted his kids, ruffling hair and kissing cheeks. Dream-Buffy stepped forward, and Riley kissed her on the forehead.

"Hi, baby. I've missed you," he said, smiling. Dream-Buffy smiled wearily back. The group walked into the house, and Buffy and the little girl followed them. The house interior was very nice, but quite messy, which was understandable. Buffy had never been the neatest person.

Dream-Buffy sent her five kids to play, and she and Riley went upstairs to the baby's room.

As dream-Buffy was changing Steven's diaper, she said quietly to Riley, "Stephanie started kicking me yesterday."

Riley was leaning on the doorway comfortably. "That's good."

She looked at her husband. "You weren't here. You're never here."

He sighed. "Buffy, you know my job requires me to travel. There isn't a lot I can do about that."

"Take a different job!" said dream-Buffy loudly, angrily. "Make some time to spend with your kids! Did you know that Steven still hasn't learned how to say Daddy yet? And now with the new baby, you're missing everything important."

Riley stepped forward, rested his hands on dream-Buffy's shoulders. "If I could take a different job, I--"

She threw his hands off her body. "Don't talk to me like that. I'm sick of being an only parent. I'm sick of not being able to work out or slay. I can't even visit my friends anymore because I don't want to keep asking my mom to babysit."

Riley turned away from her, rubbing his eyes. "Buffy, once Stephanie is born, I'll be able to take some time off--"

Dream-Buffy gathered Steven close to her chest. "That's not good enough," she said coldly. Steven began crying loudly, and dream-Buffy shushed him, leaving the room.

Buffy watched this confrontation silently.

"You still loved him, during all the years, and even though you weren't exactly thrilled with all the kids, you loved them, too," the little girl said quietly. "But you couldn't patrol, couldn't make use of your muscles—Riley wouldn't let you, with all those pregnancies. You missed being the Slayer. Eventually you learned how to just stay how and be a normal mother, but it was never quite what you wanted. You were always well provided for, though, even if he wasn't around."

Buffy frowned, her brow furrowed. She looked down at the little girl. "If this is part of my choice," she said slowly, "what's the other half? The other choice?"

The little girl smiled a smile that was, again, startlingly familiar. "This is where I come in," she said, and took Buffy's hand.

*****

"I should have known," sighed Buffy, looking around.

Buffy recognized the place as the apartment Angel had moved into two years ago. She walked about, exploring, then opened a door. On the other side, curled up on a comfy sofa, were Angel and Buffy's little companion.

"It's- it's you," said Buffy, staring at her.

The little girl looked up at Buffy trustingly, squeezed her hand. "Mommy," she said softly.

Dream-Angel read aloud to his dream-daughter from a thick, leather-bound book. Despite the weapons that decorated most of the apartment, this small room was down-home, lit by a few lamps, and the bright, simple artwork typical of children was pinned on the walls. Scattered on a table were crayons, pencils, paper, and paints. Angel seemed as at ease here, in this playroom, as he was among stakes and swords.

Buffy watched, her eyes glimmering at the sight of Angel with a child, something so impossible, something she knew that couldn't happen, yet something that obviously would happen in the future, providing that Buffy made the right decisions, traveled the right path….Married the right person.

A baby with Angel…the thought was too overwhelming. Buffy tried to push it away from her mind.

Buffy stepped inside the room and looked at the childlike signature on one of the drawings on the wall. "Keelyn," she read softly. "You're quite the artist."

"My middle name is Anne," piped up said child helpfully. "And I love to draw. You told me I had Daddy's talent."

Buffy looked down at Keelyn, her eyes wide. "But- how can you be my daughter? Angel can't have…." She swallowed. "It's impossible. This is a crazy dream. I must be drinking too much caffeine again. Or it's stress. Yeah, definitely stress."

"Not impossible," contradicted Keelyn softly. "I'm not going to tell you how I happen…it's up to you to find out. But there is a miracle, and it involves the two people who love me most. Plus a little help from certain people in the spiritual world," she added with a smile.

At that moment, the front door opened, and dream-Buffy stepped in, dressed in patrol clothes, looking a little ragged. She plunked down her bag and keys, took off her coat.

"At least I'm thin in this reality," muttered Buffy.

"Angel," called dream-Buffy. "You here?"

"In the playroom," answered Angel. Dream-Buffy smiled and unstrapped several crosses from hiding places in her clothing before pushing open the playroom door.

"Daddy," dream-Buffy chided gently, upon seeing her husband and daughter, "are you reading Keelyn grown-up books again?" She gathered the child up in her arms tightly, leaning down to kiss Angel briefly.

"She begged me," replied Angel with a smile.

Dream-Buffy smiled back. "Jeez, whatever happened to Green Eggs and Ham? Come on, sweetheart, Daddy will put you to bed."

"Mommy, I drew a picture of you today," said dream-Keelyn as Buffy lowered her to the floor. Angel took his daughter's hand in his and they walked together upstairs to Keelyn's bedroom. Dream-Keelyn continued talking as dream-Buffy stood in the bathroom across from Keelyn's room, brushing her hair absently. Angel dressed Keelyn for bed and tucked her in. After her light was out, Angel stepped out of her room and shut the door halfway, leaving on the hall light, as Keelyn liked it. Dream-Buffy approached her husband.

"You're hurt," he said softly, touching her arm Her sleeve was torn in a few places and she bled from a cut.

"Big spiky demons. It's okay."

"How many?"

"There was a nest. Maybe about five of them. I got them all."

He levelled his eyes at her. "I worry about you, you know."

She looked at him. "I know."

"Keelyn does too," he continued. "She wants to come out patrolling with you."

"Too little. When she's older."

"She wanted you to see this," said Angel. He handed her a sheet of paper. Dream-Buffy looked at the drawing of a blonde princess with a speech bubble that read, "It's time for me to save the world."

"She's so bright," said Angel, smiling a little. "Her reading gets better every day. I love to watch her progress."

"It's going to be hard holding her back from things that might be too old for her," agreed dream-Buffy.

"I've been thinking about getting her an instrument…maybe violin," said Angel. "To encourage her. Pretty soon we're not going to have any room left for her drawings."

Dream-Buffy smiled softly. "What a good daddy," she said. "The violin sounds perfect." She wrapped her arms around her husband impulsively, and they stood together in the hallway for a time, not saying anything.

"God," whispered dream-Buffy, looking at Keelyn's picture again, "I love it, every second of it. I never thought it was possible to be this happy."

"I know," replied Angel softly, "I know." He touched her face tenderly, their eyes met and locked. Dream-Buffy kissed him gently, pressing her lips to his richly. Angel made a soft sound of love. She pulled back and smiled up at him, then took his hand and led him into their room. He shut the door behind him.

Buffy and her future daughter, the dream daughter that did not even exist yet, watched this scene play out. Buffy's eyes glimmered and she swallowed hard. She looked down at little Keelyn.

"Is the future with Angel really that happy?" she asked quietly.

"There are ups and downs," answered Keelyn steadily. "There's always another demon to fight, another battle coming. But you love each other, and me. Isn't that the whole point?"

Buffy was quiet.

"When you wake up," said Keelyn next, her voice gentle, "don't think about this dream too much. Make your decisions on your own, let it come naturally. Follow your heart."

Buffy bit her lip, looked in the direction of dream-Keelyn's bedroom. "Follow my heart," she repeated softly. For once, it sounded like something she would be able to do.

*****

Another month passed.

Every day, Buffy looked at the ring on her hand and prayed whatever god happened to be listening to either make a ticket to Hawaii appear on her dresser so she could disappear anonymously, or Riley to suddenly grow very, very ill. Or both.

And then, the day dawned on them, all too soon. The Day. The day that Buffy's mother had spent thousands of dollars and hours of labour on. The day that Buffy was supposed to treasure forever.

So far, the only memorable thing was the feeling of being trapped inside the very puffy, very lacy gown; her hair pinned up just as tightly, and the ring on her finger very snug. Now she and Willow and her mother were in a dressing room inside of a hotel (the ceremony was being held outside on the grounds). The door was shut against aunts eager for a peek. Unfortunately, this also meant is blocked her means of escape. Buffy was locked down, in all aspects of the word, and didn't see how she was going to get out of it.

"Buffy, you look so beautiful. Here, honey, let me get a picture of you and Willow. Stand right there. That's perfect."

Buffy forced a smile on her face and posed with her maid of honour. "If I have to be here another minute, I'll go crazy," she hissed in Willow's ear.

"Too late now!" Willow whispered back.

Buffy looked out the window, and from that vantage point she could see the people gathering below outside, taking their seats before the altar. Riley stood talking to the priest; his best man, Graham, beside him. Flowers, pink and white and yellow roses, were everywhere, as was tulle bunting. A string quartet warmed up.

It was beautiful. It was the perfect setting. It was every normal girl's dream wedding.

Buffy felt like she could cry.

"Come on, honey, we have to go down now and meet your father," encouraged Joyce.

Buffy looked at her mother, trying to make her feet move, when she was assaulted by the memories of that dream, weeks ago.

"…it was never quite what you wanted…"

"You eventually stayed home and learned how to be a normal mother…"

"I'm sick of not being able to work out or slay…"

Joyce took Buffy's arm to help her through the hall and down the stairs in that enormous dress. Willow followed behind, clutching her bouquet.

"…there is a miracle…"

They were standing at the beginning of the aisle now, Hank Summers ready to escort his daughter.

The music started.

He pulled her along, quite a feat as her shoes were too tight to actually walk in, and the dress was very heavy.

The roses Buffy held itched her hands. The dress constricted her breathing. Her toes were practically numb. Her head pounded from all the pins sticking into her scalp. The thousands of flowers surrounding her were making her eyes water. The stares from the guests were intimidating.

There had never been anything Buffy wanted to do less than marry Riley Finn.

She rehearsed what she would say in front of the priest. Riley would say, "I do," then Buffy would be expected to obediently repeat the same words. "Actually, I don't," Buffy could hear herself saying. "Riley, you're a nice guy and all, but I really don't wanna marry you. Find yourself a nice girl, a real normal girl, instead. And Mom, I'm sorry, but I hate this dress. Catch ya later."

Say that and consequently ruin her mother's dream and break Riley's Iowa-boy heart? Buffy wasn't that much of a bitch.

Keelyn's words passed through her mind, as she took each jerky step toward her ultimate destination: normalcy, and the boy that represented every part of it.

"…you love each other, and me. Isn't that the whole point?"

Buffy's mind cleared. She looked at Riley, looked at the happy guests, looked at Willow, and knew what she had to do.

Keelyn had told her to follow her heart. Now, as Buffy tore her arm away from her father, hitched up her dress, and ran in the opposite direction, she let her heart decide for her.

~~~~~

"Hey, can I borrow your car?"

The chauffeur her mother had hired to drive the shiny, black, expensive-looking car seemed very surprised. "Uh- miss? Aren't you supposed to be in the ceremony?"

Buffy looked hurriedly behind her, saw her mother running full speed in her direction. She impatiently levelled her eyes at the driver.

"Look, buddy, I really need your car, so just- give me the keys or I'll be forced to do something that I don't want to do!" Her voice took on a hysterical edge, and the driver handed over the keys, more scared than anything. Buffy flashed him a big smile, and tried to hop in the driver's seat. Unfortunately, the dress was too big. With one big rip, Buffy tore out all the inner layers of the dress and tossed them aside. She started the engine and drove away as quickly as possible.

In her rearview mirror, Buffy saw that she left dozens of confused guests, an upset Riley, and a very angry Joyce behind her. Willow waved her bouquet energetically, a huge grin on her face.

Buffy grinned an identical smile, and got on the freeway to L. A.

~~~~~

Buffy put on the brakes and came to a screeching stop in front of Angel Investigations. Hurriedly, she gathered her skirts and ran up the stairs of the building, ignoring the stares from pedestrians.

She rode the elevator and burst in, looking around. Cordy appeared from another room. "Do you have an appointment?" she asked cheerily, and then realized who it was. She looked Buffy and her veil, dress and bouquet up and down.

"Don't ask," advised Buffy.

"Wasn't planning on it!" replied Cordelia. "He's downstairs, by the way."

Buffy smiled gratefully, and breezed past her to the stairs. Cordelia gave her one more puzzled look, then shrugged and carried on with her work.

Buffy ran down the first few stairs, then tumbled and fell very ungracefully. She swore, jumped up, tried to straighten out her dress.

"Who's there?" came Angel's voice, and then he appeared in front of her. He stopped in his tracks, his mouth falling open slightly.

Buffy stood, breathing heavily, and smiled. "Hey," she said. "Miss me?"

~~~~~

There was a pause.

"Okay," said Angel uncertainly, after a moment, "I don't think confused is the right word right now."

"Well…okay. Long story to make short. Well, I don't know if you knew this, but I was getting married to Riley--"

"I know," he interrupted. Silently, he held up a copy of the Sunnydale newspaper, folded to the engagement announcements page. Displayed there was the picture of Buffy and Riley.

Her eyes softened. "Oh God. What you must have been thinking when you saw that…Angel, I didn't want to marry him. Okay, and that has logic that you may not understand, since I've been permanently attached to Riley for three years, but it's true. Normal life? Not my thing. I'm not a normal person. Besides, my mother was the one who practically made me get engaged, anyway."

"Buffy, I left you so something like this would happen. A nice guy. Marriage. We can't have that, remember?"

"I know," she said, "but I had this dream—and I saw two different versions of the future—and believe me, it's a little more promising if I stick with my real love. You," she emphasized. "Angel, you know what? Riley is normal to some people. Stakes are normal to me. Vampires are normal to me. That's my kind of normal. Or unnormal, if that's even a word. That's what I want."

He stepped towards her, still hesitant. "Buffy…I only want you to be happy," he began slowly. "If you're with me, we can't…can't be anything. Don't do this. I don't want to have to leave you all over again." He was genuinely hurt.

Her eyes were shining. "Angel, in my dream—I'm not sure how yet, but, in the future, something happens, a miracle…and we will be able to be together. Can't you trust me on that?"

He looked down, then met her eyes again, smiling a little now. "So you left the wedding today to tell me this?"

"Well, you're pretty important." She matched his smile.

He was in full-fledged happy mode now. She was delighted that she had made him that way. "You do have a talent for prophetic dreams," he said.

"The dream didn't exactly tell me how our problems are solved…I guess that will have to come with time," she admitted. "But isn't everything—marriage, kids, a life together—worth the wait?"

He looked at her, his eyes tender. "Yeah," he said, "it is."

She beamed at him. Angel wrapped his arms around her, gathered her close.

"I'm glad you had that dream," he said, his words muffled, as his face was buried in her hair.

She laughed. "I'm glad I made the right choice."

He pulled back from her slightly, and began to lead her towards the back room, where Buffy spied a couch, a bed. She grew comfortable, and knew what he wanted. Talk time, time to sort things out.

"Didn't you want a completely normal life?" he asked, looking down at her. It was a testing question; her answer would be his final decision. Buffy looked at him.

"Maybe I never really wanted normal, real normal, after all," she replied with a smile, and held him closer.

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