Going Nowhere Fast

by Ivy

Rating: PG (I can't write anything else!!)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Duh.
Notes: This is a bittersweet vignette. Thank you to Lizzie-Bethie for the title. This DOES NOT fit in with the end of season three, and I know it. It's my own take on the downward spiral of their realtionship, eventually leading to their break-up. This time, they are both aware of certain situations.
Feedback: Please! I couldn't live without my devoted feedbackers!! :)


Under the light of the half-moon, Buffy Summers ran quickly and easily through a park.

She was technically patrolling, but there weren't a lot of vampires prowling about that particular night, so instead she ran, because of boredom and her pent-up energy.

Swiftly, she pumped her arms and legs. She sucked in deep breaths, then let them out, her rhythm never fading, her movements never slowing. The only sound was the light pounding of her sneakered feet on the ground. The air was warm and Buffy found herself impatient, wishing it wasn't so stifling.

She speeded past a playground and reflected on why she had so much energy. The air around her was tingling and humming, and it made her uncomfortable. She wasn't usually this tense, this keyed-up, unless there was a presence lurking nearby or something coming. Like.

Like.

"Hey," came a voice, deep but slightly amused, and she stopped in her tracks.

"Hi," she answered, looking up at Angel.

"Where're you running to?" That was where the amusement factor came from, he thought it was funny how she was running fast enough to save her life.

She shrugged. "I don't know. How long have you been watching me for?" She was panting a little, she noticed, and not just from the run. His eyes, his nearness.

"How did you know?"

"I always know when you're around."

He accepted that and nodded his head. "Want to sit?" He motioned behind them, to a bench.

She was a little wary (it wasn't often that they sat together in a park) but she nodded, and after he held out his hand, she took it.

~~~~~

I could feel her coming from a mile away. Literally. I guessed that maybe she had been running from the nearest graveyard, taking all the long routes, just to expend her energy.

Despite what she thought, I wasn't really watching her. I had been outside, walking, thinking, when all of a sudden I could feel her presence-it hits me like a giant force, every time-and I could hear her feet and her breathing. So I stopped and waited until she caught up to where I was and then stopped lurking long enough to say hi.

She looked delicious. I never have complimented her that often, because at first I wasn't used to dating a teenage girl who required compliments. I hope that she knows what I think of her, though. Tonight she was wearing patrol clothes, including a little tank top that bared just enough skin, and her hair was in a mussed ponytail. Her cheeks were flushed. I took in every detail of her body hungrily. I had missed seeing her like this, alone, without any of her friends around.

It wasn't often that we met in a deserted park at night. Not anymore.

When I asked Buffy to sit with me, the words surprising myself, she complied, and her little hand was warm in mine when I reached out to take it. I led her to a bench, and we sat together, although I noticed that she kept a little space between us. We were silent. She didn't look at me, she looked up at the stars. Her hand stayed in mine.

I studied her face until she cleared her throat and said to me, "Have you seen Faith around?"

She was testing me. "No," I said.

Buffy seemed relieved by that answer but she didn't let it show much.

"I just thought that maybe--" She hesitated. "Maybe you had been following her, or maybe spending time with her, because of the Ascension."

It was a weak reason as to why I would be following a conniving whore like Faith. I surprised myself with my anger towards the brunette Slayer. I didn't know that I had cared that much about what Faith got herself into. Maybe because I had hoped for things to get better for her.

"Buffy," I said firmly, "I wouldn't spend time with Faith on my own free will. Once was enough. You know that." Did she?

"I guess," she said softly, and I knew she wasn't convinced.

"Are you still worried over what happened with her? When I--" I faltered. "When we tricked her."

She looked up at me guiltily, her eyes round. "Well, yeah," she said quietly. "But I trust you. I just don't want her trying anything."

"I won't let her try," I said. "And even if she did, I would stop it before anything happened."

She was comforted by that, I knew. She went back to looking at the stars.

"You know," she said softly after a moment, "I never get the chance to just sit and look at the sky any more. It's pretty."

"Do you know any constellations?" I asked, and she shook her head no, so I began searching for one in the sky to point out to her.

We were dead quiet. The only sound was the beating of her heart.

"Angel?" Her voice in the darkness was tiny. "What's going to happen from here?"

"What do you mean?" I asked carefully.

"I mean.with us," she answered. "After whatever's going to happen with the Mayor.what are we going to do?"

"You're going to college."

"Yeah, I know," she said, getting slightly exasperated. "So what's going to happen then? Are you going to visit me at nights? Step out of the shadows for a frat party?"

"If you'd like," I answered honestly, although a party didn't really sound appealing. What was this conversation leading to?

"Angel," she said, her voice unsure, "are you going to leave me?"

I was floored. My immediate reaction was to say no, but then I was silent.

"What do you think is going to happen?" I questioned.

"I don't know," she said, "I don't know." She sounded lost. I hated myself for making her feel this way.

"Buffy, I don't want to break up with you," I said.

She looked down, avoiding my eyes.

"I know you don't," she said, after a moment, "I know you love me."

That was true. "Of course I do," I replied.

"But I've been thinking.and everyone else has, too, I know," she continued, uneasily.

"What?" My voice was soft.

She let out a breath. "Well, there isn't a whole lot that can happen between us, is there?"

"Buffy--"

"Just listen to me," she said. "The other day I said that we're stuck in a rut. And it's true. There's no way out, no way to go forward, really.and every time I'm near you it makes me go crazy, wanting you and knowing I can't."

She knew me so well.she knew me exactly. I wanted her so much.and as much as we tried to ignore it, we both knew that there were facts to face. We just did not know what to do.

That was it, boiled down into one small sentence. We had no idea what to do.

"Well," she continued, her face pointing toward the stars once again, "That's just what I've been feeling lately."

I was very quiet and just held her hand. "I don't want our relationship to end badly," I said, truthfully.

She turned a very small smile on me. "I know," she answered. "We'll just have to wait and see what happens, won't we?"

We were both still and silent then, gazing at the stars once more. There wasn't very much space between us, as we sat on that bench, but the distance could have been miles.

The End

I'll probably do a sequel...stay tuned for more angst. :)

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