Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine. There, is that good?
Feedback: For the love of Joss, PLEASE SEND SOME!
Notes: This crazy fic is the result of a weird giddy hyper night on Yahoo messenger with my dear friend, Elizabeth. We started comparing Angel and Riley to shoes. Be scared. Be very, very scared.
Notes 2: Thanks, Lizzie-Bethie. :)

"Do you see anything?" whispered Buffy.

Willow shook her head no. Both girls cautiously glanced around the trees and bushes, looking for the latest harbinger of death Giles had sent them to catch. So far, there hadn't been any eight-foot tall spikey things, only the run-of-the-mill vamps.

"Maybe we should check the west side of the campus," suggested Willow

"No, Riley's on that area," replied Buffy.

"Aren't you guys on a break?"

Buffy frowned. "Giles doesn't know that. He was the one who assigned Riley to that part. I wouldn't exactly be patrolling with him if it wasn't for that."

Willow smiled to herself, silently thanking God. The past year of Buffy and Riley mushiness had started to lash.

"Okay," sighed Buffy after a minute, "I don't see any- oomph!"

She was suddenly thrown backwards by a vampire. Willow squealed and leapt out of the way, but her fighting instincts kicked in and she tossed Buffy the stake she held in her hand.

Buffy struggled with the vampire for a moment before pinning him to the ground. She caught the stake that Willow offered and swiftly dusted the vamp.

"Thanks," Buffy said, "that was a surprise." She stood up, dusting herself off.

"Any others?"

Buffy whirled around, looking, then sighed, pointed in one direction, and rolled her eyes. "These guys are so stupid," she said, motioning towards the approaching vampires. "Did they think they were being stealthy? Please."

Willow grinned. "Need help?"

Buffy shrugged, raised her stake, and headed towards the first vamp in front of her. "Nah," she said casually, "I'm good."

*****

Riley strolled along, keeping an eye out for the demon thing he was supposed to be hunting for, one half of his mind on Buffy. He really shouldn't have told her to 'worry her little blonde head' over something. Now he was banned from her bed and getting the cold shoulder. Every time he tried to talk to her, she informed him icily that they were on a break.

Riley idly realized that, if he DID see this demon, he hardly had the skill or power to fight it.

That was a beat before the demon itself attacked him.

He was picked up, thrown into a tree, and promptly pummeled by fists bigger than his head. Riley attempted to fight back, but the thing was huge, and Riley had lost pretty much all of his strength after the Initiative was shut down. He managed to throw the demon off of him a couple of times, but he might as well have been tickling the thing with a feather, for all his punches and kicks were worth.

Riley came to the conclusion that he was stuck, and he really needed Buffy there to save his ass, and he probably shouldn't have called her a little blonde at all.

Finally, the demon was wrenched away from him with more power than Riley even thought possible. He vaguely saw a black figure holding the demon high, then slamming him on the ground. Then the figure turned towards Riley, picked the demon up off the ground, and began fighting him with the sword he had picked up out of nowhere. The demon lashed out with its claws and got the shirt of the black-clad figure, which seemed to make him even more mad now that he was fighting mostly shirtless.

Riley's eyes widened. Angel?

He sat on the ground, watching Angel pummel the thing. He immobilized it, then sliced its head off with one big motion. The demon was still, collapsed on the ground, bleeding all over the place, and Angel finally saw Riley.

"What are you doing, fighting this thing?" he asked sharply.

"I was patrolling for Giles," responded Riley. "I was just having a little- trouble." He stood up. Angel didn't offer to help him stand.

"Don't put yourself in situations like this," Angel advised, although his tone clearly implied that he wished Riley would get himself into situations like this more often.

"I should ask YOU what you're doing here," said Riley suspiciously.

Angel wiped his sword off on his duster and remorsefully fingered the torn threads of his shirt. "I heard that this guy was in town," he said, motioning toward the demon's corpse. "I wanted to help out. I know that Buffy's been occupied."

"Well, thanks a lot," said Riley, "but you can go back to LA and perform heroic deeds somewhere else."

"What are you talking about? I'm going back to Buffy's dorm to tell her what happened."

"No," said Riley quickly, "I'm going. I can tell her."

Angel grew impatient. "She'll need correct details to tell Giles," he said, "on how it fought, looked. And since you were sort of out of commission-"

"I'm going."

"No, I am."

They glared at each other. Finally, Angel gave up and walked away in the direction of the dorms. Riley reluctantly followed.

*****

"Wow," breathed Buffy.

"Yeah," said Willow, impressed.

"Wow," she said again. "Did you SEE how Angel took that thing down? His style's improved, I can tell. I mean, he's always been a great fighter, but."

"Yeah," agreed Willow.

Buffy seemed to be starstruck. "Come on," she said, "let's go back to the dorm and call Giles. He'll be disappointed. These demons are never such a big deal as he makes them out to be."

"Will you tell him Angel fought it?" Willow walked beside Buffy.

Buffy hesitated, but kept walking. "Should I?"

Willow began hesitantly, "Well-"

"God dammit. I'm really sorry, Will," said Buffy, looking ahead of them, "but it looks like we have a few more rude interruptions. Can I take a rain check on that advice?"

Buffy pointed. Willow saw. She stepped back and politely let Buffy charge ahead, stake drawn.

"Sure," she called after her, but she wasn't sure if Buffy had heard.

*****

Riley stood in Buffy's dorm, arms crossed, and looking like he owned the place. He faced away from Angel impatiently. When was Buffy going to get here? Sure, she was mad at him, but she hadn't been on the best terms with Angel for a long time. Riley had no doubts that Buffy would promptly kick Angel out of her dorm and out of her life (again). Then life could get back to normal.

Angel was looking around Buffy's things. A few framed pictures of her friends, a few stuffed animals, text books scattered on the desk. Pleased, he privately noted that there were no cute lovey-dovey pictures of her and Riley together anywhere.

He was waiting for Riley to get the clue that he WASN'T going away. In fact, he wanted Riley to go away very soon. The last time he and Riley had been in Buffy's dorm together, things had not worked out well. For the first time that night, Angel felt a little apprehensive. He could always end up making things worse.

Or, Riley the doof could, Angel reminded himself.

"Buffy's not going to be too happy to see us here together," Riley said, voicing Angel's thoughts. "Especially since-"

"What?"

Riley was embarrassed. "Well, Buffy's mad at me."

Angel picked up Mr. Gordo. "Why?" he asked casually, like he didn't really care at all.

"None of your business," said the boy snidely, then, more hesitantly, "did- did you ever call Buffy a little blonde?"

Angel didn't have time to give an answer because they both heard Buffy's approaching laughter from down the hall. They both stared at the closed door.

"I'm not leaving," said Riley, "so you better just go before she gets upset."

"I'M not leaving," Angel corrected him. "It's not like I'm just going to automatically start fighting with her. We can be civil."

"Not the way I hear it."

"Look, Riley, you may think that I'm just here to invade on your 'territory,' but I'm not, so you can go."

"No."

"Riley-"

Angel estimated that there were seven seconds before Buffy walked in and saw them facing off like two testosterone-filled monkeys fighting for her attention.

"That's it," Riley said. "She's coming. You better have a good explanation, buddy." He smirked, fully believing that Buffy wouldn't be mad at him at all.

"No, I think you're the one who better have a plan."

Three seconds.

The sound of close-by footsteps.

"Leave."

"You leave!"

One second.

Finally, Riley grew panicked. He looked around wildly. Angel was facing him, looking extremely stubborn. Angel wasn't going to leave and Angel certainly wouldn't think up a good explanation to save Riley's butt. He would actually be likely to get Riley in more trouble.

Riley did the only thing he could do. He flung open Buffy's closet door, grabbed Angel by his duster collar, and pulled him in there with him.

Angel landed on the closet floor among shoes and spare stakes, too surprised to do anything about it. He stared up at Riley.

"Great plan," he said deadpan, holding up the clunky platform he had landed on.

*****

"Do you think Angel went home?" asked Willow as she unlocked their room.

Buffy plunked her bag down on the desk near the door. "I don't know," she said. "Think he would come and grab a Starbucks with me, or disappear into the shadows without a word?"

Willow smiled wryly. "He might lurk in the corner of Starbucks with you."

"That would be an improvement for him."

Angel, inside the closet, frowned slightly. He didn't lurk THAT much anymore.

Through the crack underneath the closet door, he saw Buffy's little sneakered feet walk past him. Buffy sat down on her bed.

"I wish he would have talked to me." she murmured.

Both Riley and Angel suddenly listened carefully.

"Buffy," said Willow in her mom voice, "we've talked about this many times. We've cried. We've psychoanalyzed. Didn't you decide that it would be better to not talk to him right now?"

"I know," Buffy said wistfully, "but things can change. You know, lately I've been really glad to take a break from Riley. We've been joined at the hip for almost two years now. I guess, maybe, my views on certain things have started changing."

Riley visibly paled.

"Do you want to break up with him?" asked Willow.

Buffy sighed. "I don't know. Yes. No. He's just- secure, you know? He's dependable. He's like an old comfortable sneaker."

"Sometimes sneakers can get smelly," Willow pointed out.

"Smelly?" said Riley.

"Exactly," continued Buffy. "And then the time comes when you'd rather have the designer shoe. The Manolo Blahnik spike heel of men."

I'm a shoe? thought Angel.

"You know- exciting, occasionally dangerous, but big-time sexy. And he looks great with everything."

Angel decided very quickly that he liked being a shoe.

"I'm better than a sneaker!" protested Riley in a whisper.

Angel smirked.

"I understand," said Willow. "Nobody likes a sneaker forever. Especially when the laces get worn and the sole falls off and pretty soon you realize that your toes are sticking out."

As she spoke, she moved towards the closet, intending to get out her bathrobe.

"Oh no," whispered Riley.

Angel cursed and steeled himself for the inevitable. Stupid Riley, getting him into this situation.

Willow opened the closet door. She gaped. Riley and Angel nervously looked up at her. In less than a second, Willow shut the door and kept talking as if everything was normal.

Angel silently thanked Willow and whichever god above that had kept Buffy's back to the closet.

"Um- Buffy?" said Willow, now sounding slightly nervous. "Did you get that pysch paper done?"

"What? Oh, yeah. That. Um, it's on the computer. Will, what do you think I should do?"

"Well, I can spell-check it for you-"

"No, Will, about Riley and Angel," interrupted Buffy.

"Well- you know, maybe just stick it out, see what happens-"

"Should I make a move? I should make a move."

"Oh, Buffy, it's late, maybe you should just- sleep on it, see what you feel like in the morning."

"Ugh. No sleep. I had two huge mocha frappucinos. Maybe I should phone Riley." Buffy gazed at her phone.

"Um-" said Willow, but Buffy was already dialing.

"That's weird," Buffy said upon hanging up. "He's not there. Think something happened on patrol? I thought he might have come back here to tell me what happened."

"I'm sure he's fine," said Willow as breezily as possible. "Let's not talk about Riley and Angel anymore. Boys. Um, yuck. Can I finish your soda?"

"What's up with you?" asked Buffy, sounding slightly amused. "Willow, I thought it was okay for us to still do the girly boy-talk thing even though you're, um-"

"It's fine," answered Willow hurriedly, "it's totally fine. Girly-talk, yay. But I think I'm just gonna read for awhile and then hit the sack."

"Sounds like a plan," said Buffy cheerfully. "I'm going to have a shower. Just gotta put my weapons away."

Angel had been getting slightly cramped and bored during this time. Now, he got nervous. Buffy's weapon bag was in the closet (he was partially sitting on it). She would have to open her closet, and see them, and freak out, and yell at them both.

"Damn it," Riley said weakly. Angel silently echoed that statement.

"Buffy!" yelped Willow a little too shrilly, a little too loudly. Buffy stared and Willow quickly adjusted her tone. "Um, I know! Let's go see Tara. We haven't hung out together in a while." She grabbed Buffy's arm and enthusiastically tried to pull her out the door.

"What are you talking about? We saw her yesterday. And besides, I thought you wanted to sleep?"

"Well, I'm a fickle person. C'mon, it'll be fun."

"You go. I think I'll just hang out here." She picked up her stakes and bag. "I have a particularly important date with Ben & Jerry, anyway." She walked towards her closet.

Riley closed his eyes, dreading what was to come.

Angel muttered, "I hate you."

The door was opened.

Willow groaned and covered her face.

Buffy dropped her stakes and they clattered noisily to the floor. "Riley?" she gaped. "ANGEL?"

"Um, hi-" attempted Riley.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE IN MY CLOSET?!"

"Well-" began Angel, and then he winced.

"*TOGETHER*!"

"Buffy." said Willow.

"IN MY *CLOSET!*"

"Buffy, baby," begged Riley, in his best lovey-dovey voice.

Buffy hissed in her most deadly voice, her face flushed in anger, "Get. Out. Now."

They rose and stood in front of her like obedient dogs. Buffy privately admired Angel's bare chest before yelling at them again.

"Were you two purposely SPYING on me?" she demanded.

"I was here because I heard that demon was in town," Angel said in a low voice. "I wanted to help."

"And I was there when he killed it," continued Riley. "I helped."

Angel glared at him.

"Riley, leave," Buffy told him. "Get out of here. And don't call me for a week. And YOU-"

She angrily pointed one perfectly manicured finger at him. Angel looked to see if Willow would rescue him. Unfortunately, she had ducked out the door.

"I'm not finished with you yet," she seethed. "You're not going ANYWHERE."

Angel gulped. Riley left as quickly as possible, to avoid more yelling. As soon as he was gone and the door was shut, Angel faced Buffy resignedly.

"Buffy," he said softly.

She turned to face him. Angel was almost knocked off his feet when her face opened up in a big smile.

"Sorry about that," she said cheerfully, "I just had to get him out of here." And she promptly launched herself into his arms.

Angel caught her, surprise written all over his face. "Buffy?"

"Oh, I'm still mad," she assured him. "I don't know why you guys felt you had to hide. But I AM glad that you were here to help out. One less thing for me to worry about."

Angel cuddled her, acutely aware of how she smelled, how she felt in his arms after such a long while without her.

"So.you heard everything I said?" Buffy asked, now slightly nervous.

Angel smiled. "I'm a sexy shoe, huh?"

Buffy returned the smile. "Well, you'll do."

And Angel was assured she meant it when her lips eagerly landed on his.

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