SERIES: Healing the Heart
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: I bow down to the mighty Joss for creating these wonderful characters even though I hate him for splitting up Buffy and Angel. He owns them; I do not. Please don't sue because I don't have any money!! Donna Lewis sings Falling, from the Simply Irresistible soundtrack.
SPOILERS: Well, this trilogy is set during the summer after Season 4, except I wrote all of this or had it all planned out before it aired. So, Riley isn't in the Initiative or from Iowa and Spike wasn't fixed. All I had heard was that Spike would become an ally.
SUMMARY: Buffy runs into Angel in LA while visiting with Riley.
AUHTOR'S NOTE: For you diehard Buffy and Angel fans, don't worry, I am too. Just keep reading. Trust me! / means italics
DISTRIBUTION: Ask and you shall receive!!
FEEDBACK: Do I even have to ask? Well, I guess I do. PLEASE!!!! It helps my self esteem after what my latest English teacher did to it.

"Wow! For the weekend?" Willow asked Buffy in awe.

Buffy nodded. "Yep. His parents just moved to LA."

"That's a big step, you know. It was one thing meeting his parents, but now you're spending the weekend with them!"

"Yeah, but one day will be spent with his sister, Melanie, shopping."

Willow started giggling.

Buffy sighed. "What is it, Willow?"

"I can't help it. It's so funny. Riley and Melanie. Both names from Gone with the Wind! Has he ever said anything about it?"

"Nope. But I don't want to inform him though. I doubt he would suddenly like to know that his name is from the movie." Buffy replied.

"Actually Riley wasn't in the movie, he was in the book." Willow commented.

"Whatever." Buffy shrugged. "He has had enough problems as is with his last name. Finn. As in Huckleberry Finn."

Willow nodded. "How is it that we always meet people with weird, um… unique names?"

"I don't know, Willow. But I have wondered about it before." Buffy closed her eyes, and leaned up against her bed. There was only one person who deserved his strange name and that was Angel. Before she could go any further, Buffy opened her eyes, and sat up straight.

"Do you think I'm going too fast, Willow?" Buffy frowned, asking her best friend. She knew Willow would answer truthfully.

Willow shook her head. "No. You two are going slowly. I think this is just a nice gesture of him. You already met his parents, so this shouldn't be too bad. Plus, you'll be shopping with Melanie, and spending time with Riley. You won't be with his parents too much." She paused a second. "I don't think Riley wants to rush you. I think he realizes that you aren't ready for it."

"But what is 'it', Willow? We've been going out for almost the whole school year. We've had our fair share of make-out sessions, movies, dinners, and dates. What more is there? Sex? Marriage? If that is what he wants, then I don't know what to say. I like where we are. It's been a nice relationship. I don't know how serious he thinks this is, or wants it to be." Buffy let out a breath, and leaned back against her bed.

"Don't worry about it now. Just take it like it comes. Be yourself." Willow softly answered her.

Buffy snorted. "Myself? I can't tell him anything! I have to hide my life from him."

"Well… Just be the fun loving Buffy that we all know. The Buffy that isn't the Slayer." Willow suggested.

"That's all I can be around him." Buffy sighed. Scott's words from her senior year haunted her. /"It's just that you never really know what's going on inside somebody. Do you? I mean, you think... if you care about them... But you never really do."

"So, does he plan on staying in Sunnydale for the summer, or in LA with his parents?" Willow asked, trying to change the subject, at least away from the seriousness of the Riley subject.

Buffy shook her head. "He hasn't said."

*****

/Maybe we've gone too far
Another emotional tie on me
And I don't know who you really are

"Where are we going?" Buffy asked Riley as they left his parents' new house in LA.

"It's a surprise." He answered cryptically.

Buffy shuddered. She never liked it when he was like this, nor did she like surprises, not since her 17th birthday. The cryptic act reminded her of Angel, and she didn't like to think of him. He had broken her heart, telling her to move on. Well, she had moved on, and she couldn't look back. Not ever.

She looked around while Riley drove them to his surprise. She recognized where they were going. The park. Memories flooded her. Memories from LA, and memories from Sunnydale.

"The park." Buffy softly answered her own question.

"Yep." Riley grinned. "I overheard you talking to Willow once, and you mentioned that you missed the midnight walks through the park."

Buffy grimaced. She remembered the conversation well. Buffy had mentioned the park, but obviously Riley had not heard the entire conversation. He would have realized that she could never go to the park with him. She didn't want to go the park with him or at least not at night.

Part of her wanted to keep the memories of her time with Angel separate from her relationship with Riley. They were special. But she also didn't want to go because she knew they could be attacked by vampires at any time and she knew that Riley couldn't protect himself, even if he did know about the existence of vampires. Which he didn't.

She and Angel had been able to walk through the park, although more often the cemeteries, because they both knew they could protect themselves, and they didn't have to worry about each other. But with Riley, Buffy would constantly have to keep a watch out for vampires. And how would she explain them to him? How would she explain that she was the Slayer? She didn't want to; the relationship with Riley so far had been nice without the complications of slaying matters. It had its downside, too, but that was beside the point. She had always wanted a normal relationship. That was what Angel wanted her to have, what her mom wanted her to have, and what Giles wanted her to have, although he would never mention it.

They had been lucky so far. Their dates had been to the movies, restaurants, and they would drive to the Bronze. They had never run into vampires. And if she sensed them, she would try to excuse herself and take care of the problem. Sometimes she ignored them, telling herself that she would come back for them later. She wanted this relationship to work so badly.

But in many ways, it also made her wish for her relationship with Angel. Hadn't she learned her lesson the first year she was here? She had gone out on a date with a guy who did not know she was the slayer. But the date had been interrupted with slayage and he almost ended up dead. Never kill a boy on the first date. That was her lesson. But really, it was hard to have a life outside slaying with people who didn't know.

It was an endless debate that she had been having with herself all year. Should she continue this relationship? Should she tell him? Should she run back to Angel?

Buffy sucked in a breath. She couldn't run back to Angel. He had been the one to leave; the one who wanted her to have a normal life. To have this relationship. Although deep down, he probably didn't want her to. It was just a front. They both loved each other. They knew that they belonged to each other - that they were soulmates. They just couldn't be together. Or could they? She had always wondered that. So they couldn't 'be together.' Had they not had a relationship before the whole incident?

"Buffy? Are you okay?"

Riley's voice snapped Buffy back to the present; to her present relationship with Riley. She had to think about Riley. About what was going to happen. A walk through the park. At night. With Riley. Not Angel. She had to concentrate on Riley.

They had stopped in the parking lot of the park. It was a familiar one to her. She had come here when she first started slaying. Buffy nodded her head at Riley's question, then spoke up. "I'm fine." She grabbed her purse before getting out of the car. It held her slaying supplies. Never leave home without it.

Riley stepped out of the car, then came around to Buffy's side. He took her hand then gestured to the park trail. They started down the trail.

Buffy fingered a stake in her other hand that she had taken out of her purse. She played with it nervously. Somehow she knew that tonight was the night. Riley was going to find out. It figured. The weekend that she was spending with him, and his family.

Riley noticed Buffy's nervousness, or maybe it was the fact that she was quiet. Which she rarely was. "Are you sure you're alright? Is the park bad?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, the park is fine. It just brings up some memories."

"Bad memories?" Riley asked. He stopped and turned to face her. He was concerned.

Buffy shook her head again. "No." She paused. "Well actually…" She then looked over at the bushes where she sensed some unwanted intruders. Buffy sighed. "It's just that…"

Four vampires emerged from the bushes, and started walking across the park toward them.

Buffy nervously looked over at the vampires. They weren't in a hurry. They thought they had an easy meal coming. She grabbed a cross out of the purse, then dropped the purse. "Here, take this. Run." She shoved the cross into his hands, then gripped her own stake, waiting for the attack.

"What?" Riley asked, puzzled. "I don't get it." He looked over at people who Buffy was looking at. He shrugged. "So? Other people can come here."

"You don't get it, Riley. Run. I'll meet you back at the house."

"But Buffy…" he protested.

"NOW, RILEY!" Buffy commanded. She was not used to this. Usually the gang listened to her. But Riley didn't know what was going on. She quickly glanced over at the vampires. They were getting closer.

"I'd listen to her if I were you." A quiet voice suddenly spoke up behind Riley.

Buffy's eyes went wide.

Riley turned around to see a young man, middle 20's, dressed in black, with dark hair and dark eyes staring at him. "Who are you?" He asked.

"A friend." The dark stranger answered. He, too, glanced over at the vampires approaching them.

"Well, I'm not leaving Buffy here." Riley defended himself.

The dark stranger sighed. "He's worse than Xander."

Buffy finally giggled. "Only when it comes to his male ego. But I think Xander still beats him when it comes to that."

"Hold it! What's going on here? You know Xander?" Riley pointedly asked the stranger. "Who are you?"

Buffy sighed. She caught a quick peek at the quickly approaching vampires. There was no time for introductions. She looked up at Angel. "Do you have any stakes, Angel? I only have one."

"Stakes?" Riley looked from Buffy to Angel, confused.

He nodded, pulled one from his jacket and tossed it to Buffy. She caught it effortlessly.

"All right. It's time to rumble." Buffy spouted. She and Angel turned to meet the vampires head on.

"What's going on here? Will someone please tell me?!"

Buffy turned to Riley. "I would stay down and away. Hold the cross in front of you if anyone comes near you." She turned her attention back to the vampires.

Riley scowled. He didn't like being left out. And who was this guy? He had heard little bits about him, Angel, during conversations with Buffy or the gang. But never that much. They would usually shut up when they saw him coming.

He went over to a tree and sat down. What were they doing? He looked at the cross in his hands. Why did she give him this? He was very puzzled by what was happening. All he had planned was a quiet stroll through the park with Buffy. But now, this guy had interrupted them. And now both he and Buffy were waiting for some guys in the park with stakes in their hands. Stakes? Why did they have them? And why did she have one on her? Riley shook his head. He had too many questions to ask Buffy.

Riley looked up at Buffy and Angel. The four men had come up to the two of them. Now, they were- hold on a second. He had to take a double take. Buffy and Angel were FIGHTING these guys! Why had they started a fight with them? What had they done wrong to get into a fight? And why was he still sitting by the tree and not helping? Maybe it was because he not willing to get hurt and the fact that he had no idea /how to/ fight.

But apparently both Buffy and Angel knew how to fight. Buffy barely looked like she was breaking a sweat. She kicked and punched effortlessly. So did Angel.

Riley blinked a second. Suddenly two of the guys were gone. GONE! Where did they go? Riley looked around wildly. There was no trace of the two men. They had disappeared. But why?

He looked back at the fight. The other two men had disappeared as well. Buffy and Angel had dusted themselves off and were now walking over to him. Again, he looked around for the men, but found no sign of them. He shook his head. Apparently Buffy and Angel had scared them off or maybe the police were here? But he heard no sound other than the two of them walking through the grass.

Buffy and Angel stopped in front of him. Buffy looked at him curiously.

"What happened out there?" Riley finally managed to spit out.

"Oh there?" Buffy motioned to the now empty park. "Nothing."

"But where did the guys go? They disappeared!" Riley argued.

"They left. They didn't want to give us any more problems." Buffy grinned.

Riley slowly nodded. It made sense. Sort of. If you didn't think about it too hard. He turned his head back to Angel. "And who is he?"

Buffy looked over at Angel, then back to Riley and smiled. "An old friend."

Angel smirked at Buffy's word choice. It had more than one meaning. Old as in past friend, and old as in 244 years old. But Riley didn't know that. And wouldn't suspect it either.

"Somehow I don't buy that. You two went out together didn't you?" Riley probed. He had a sneaky suspicion that Angel was an ex.

Buffy looked down at her shoes for a second before answering Riley. "Yes."

"For how long?"

"Three years." Buffy answered looking straight at Riley. "We split last year. Angel moved to LA." She nodded over at Angel.

"I had thought that you hadn't had any or much experience. That was why I thought you wanted to go slow. But it isn't that is it? I was just a rebound guy wasn't I?" Riley shot out. He wasn't happy finding out about this after a year. She had never talked about her past.

"No!" Buffy pleaded. "Well, yes, sort of. But not really. I was trying to move on." She stumbled and looked between the two guys frantically.

"You still love him, don't you? I'm assuming it was a pretty strong relationship you had with him. You haven't been too gung-ho with me this year. Always very slow and cautious. Never too much emotion." Riley bitterly asked.

"I didn't want to make any mistakes! You can't blame me for wanting to go slow!" Buffy pleaded again. She looked over at Angel briefly, looking for support.

Angel just looked on in silence. His eyes were cast downward, looking very sad. He still loved Buffy, but he would not jeopardize her relationship for his greed. He had been the one to leave anyway.

"It has been beyond slow!" Riley shook his head. "I need some time to think about this, Buffy. I'm going home." With that, he took off for the car.

Buffy glanced at Angel, then ran after Riley. They got into the car and drove silently back to his parents' house. No one said a word.

Angel left the park as quietly as he had entered.

/Putting my trust in you
Safe in your presence I will be
If I thought it was the thing to do
With you

****

The next day Buffy went shopping with Melanie. She managed to keep up a good front, but the whole time she was miserable. Buffy felt really bad about what had happened last night with Riley. But in the part of her heart that had been keep buried the last year, she was happy. She had seen Angel and she realized that the normal relationship couldn't work. Angel was the only solution.

It was suddenly all so clear to her. She was the slayer. Slayers were not supposed to have social lives. That was why her relationship with Riley wasn't working. Her relationship with Angel had worked because he knew. And because they were the same. They weren't normal people who could have normal relationships. Angel was the only answer.

Her Angel.

/It feels like I'm falling deeper
into the unknown
I'm losing the fight to stay alone
I'm falling, falling for you

*****

When Buffy and Melanie returned to the house at 5 that evening, Riley pulled her aside.

"Buffy, we need to talk."

Buffy nodded. She knew what he wanted to tell her. He didn't want to be with her anymore.

"I'm going to drive you back to Sunnydale tomorrow morning, pick up my stuff, and come back here for the summer. I'm going to stay with my parents." He said with no emotion. He had clearly thought this over, and was not saddened by the break up.

Buffy nodded again. She looked up at him with a little sadness. "I'm sorry."

Riley shook his head. "It's okay. I think I saw it coming. We weren't meant to be." He gave her a weak smile then turned and left the hallway.

*****

Later that evening, Buffy called Willow. She needed to talk.

"Hello?" Willow answered groggily.

"Willow?"

"Oh! Buffy! What's wrong?" She quickly asked. There had to be a problem if Buffy was calling the night before she was coming home.

"Well…"

"Spill it, Buffy."

"Riley took me out to the park last night." Buffy bluntly replied.

Willow sucked in a breath. "He found out?"

"Not exactly. There were four vampires approaching, and I told him to run. Of course, he didn't listen." Buffy started to retell the previous night's events.

"Sounds like Xander." Willow interrupted, giggling.

"Exactly what Angel said." Buffy quietly replied.

"Angel?" Willow gasped.

"Yep. I finally got Riley to stay down while Angel and I got rid of the vamps. Apparently Riley didn't witness everything. He just asked where they went. I told him that they left."

"So he doesn't know about you or vampires," Willow paused, " or Angel?" She asked cautiously.

"Well, he proceeded to ask about Angel, and whether or not I had gone out with him. He then got all mad when he realized that he was a rebound guy."

"Uh-oh."

"You got it."

"Now what? How is Riley?"

"He told me earlier this evening that he is staying in LA for the summer. He said we weren't meant to be." Buffy replied softly.

"Do you, do you still like him, Buffy?" Willow asked carefully.

"I… I…" Buffy stumbled.

"Do you still want this to work? Do you want to try to patch it up?" Willow boldly asked Buffy.

"No. I don't." Buffy finally replied.

"Angel's curse is permanent." Willow said calmly.

"WHAT?!!" Buffy almost yelled.

"It's permanent. As in he can be as happy as he wants to, and he will never lose his soul." Willow replied.

"Since when?" Buffy whispered.

"Well, I just found out a couple of months ago. I had talked to a gypsy from Miss Calendar's clan last year. She researched the spell that I performed on Angel. She called me a month ago with the news that his soul is permanent. There is no clause. Miss Calendar took it out." Willow talked excitedly. She had been hoping that Buffy and Angel could be reunited.

"So… Angel and I could be together?" Buffy asked slowly.

"Yep!!" Willow answered, bouncing in her bed.

"Oh my gosh. All this time, we could have been together? We could have avoided all this pain?" Buffy asked out aloud, but really saying it to herself for comfort.

"You should go talk to him, Buffy. Tonight, before you leave. He needs to know." Willow finally calmed down enough to think rationally.

"Yes… I should. Thanks, Willow. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Buffy replied softly.

"Goodnight, Buffy. Good luck."

*****

Buffy sat on her bed for awhile after she hung up with Willow. She was in shock. Angel's soul was permanent. They could be together. No more temptation. No fear of Angelus returning.

But would Angel still want to be with her? Did he still want her to have a normal life? To have the kids and the white picket fence? Or would he finally submit to their love?

Buffy would just have to go ask him. She changed into some slaying clothes, grabbed a couple of stakes, and quietly left through her window.

She walked back to the park from the night before. She figured if she waited long enough, he would appear. So she sat down on a bench to wait for him.

/Where do we go from here
Why do we stand in silence waiting for
The other to make a move?
yes, we do

An hour later, she sensed him in the park. He quietly walked over to her bench, and sat down. For a few minutes they sat in silence. Angel was the one to break it when he asked her, "How is he?"

Stirred out of her thoughts, Buffy slowly replied, "Oh… Riley. Well… He's staying in LA for the summer. We broke up."

"I'm sorry." Angel apologized.

Buffy shook her head. "No, it's okay. Riley and I weren't meant to be. He was a nice guy, but a little boring. At times he reminded me of Giles. And Giles is someone I wouldn't want to date." She smiled back at Angel.

Angel chuckled. "Don't tell Giles that."

"Oh, no. I would never tell him. I like Giles for who he is, I just don't want to date him." Buffy replied. "And plus, he had that annoying trait of Xander's- not wanting to let me fight for myself." Buffy grinned at Angel, remembering the previous night.

Angel laughed. "He didn't know what was going on. But Xander does. We can excuse Riley for his mistake."

"I guess." Buffy sighed. She turned to face him. "How have you been?"

"Fine."

"Ok. Let's not get too excited here!" Buffy exclaimed, teasingly.

"It's just that… I missed you. I know you have moved on. I'm glad. That's what I wanted you to do." Angel confessed.

Buffy smiled. "I missed you too. A lot in fact. And well, I'm free now. I found out, again, that normal relationships and me don't mix."

"You can make them work, Buffy. It just takes time." Angel pointed out.

"I don't have the luxury of time on my side. Besides, slaying interrupts everything. I can't have a relationship with guys who don't know. And I don't want to tell them. I don't want to kill them." Buffy shot back.

Angel sighed. "Buffy…"

"Your soul is permanent." Buffy blurted out.

/And how do I feel right now?
Stepping out of my private world into
Something that scares me so you know

Angel turned sharply to look at Buffy. Shock was clearly showing in his eyes. "Permanent?" He dared to ask.

Buffy nodded happily. Her eyes sparkled. She desperately wanted Angel to see this as a chance to get back together again. Angel hung his head in his hands, and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Since when? How? I don't get it." Angel looked up at her puzzled

"Willow found out that Miss Calendar took out the clause. The spell that she performed on you had no happiness clause." Buffy explained.

Silence once again took over. The only sounds of life in the park were of Mother Nature. Buffy started worrying that Angel still didn't want to be with her. Why wasn't he happy? Wasn't this what he wanted? This had been the only thing stopping them before.

"We can make it work, Angel." Buffy whispered. Tears ran down her face, and she hastily wiped them away. She wanted it to work desperately. For months after he had left last summer, she had cried herself to sleep. At that time she had thought that Angel was the only one. When she met Riley and started going out with him, she thought she could do it. She could move on. But now, again, she realized that Angel was the only one. The two of them were meant to be together. They were the only ones for each other. If only he could realize it too.

/It feels like I'm falling
Deeper into the unknown
I'm losing the fight to stay alone
And I'm falling

"But…" Angel started.

"But what, Angel? But what about the kids? Is that it? Well, I have come to the conclusion that we don't live in the best environment to raise kids. They would probably end up at the shrink." Buffy mimicked in a high pitched voice, /"My mommy is a slayer. She kills vampires."

"As for the sunlight, I could care less. I have told you before, and I will tell you again. ALL I WANT IS YOU." Buffy said sternly.

Angel sighed. He turned Buffy's face towards him, and softly caressed her skin. He brushed away the remaining tears, and tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ear. "It's going to be hard."

"But we can do it. We've made it this far. We can do it again. Nothing can stop us. No clause, and certainly not Xander." That got a chuckle out of Angel. Buffy smiled.

"I never stopped loving you. I just wanted you to have another chance at a normal life." Angel confessed to Buffy. He carefully looked in her eyes to see her reaction.

"Well, I never stopped loving you, either. And I did have another chance at a normal life and I found out I don't want it. Not that it is normal…" Buffy mumbled then grinned. "But I can't change that. Not that I want to either. If my life were normal, I wouldn't have met you." She leaned over to Angel, and kissed him on the cheek.

Angel kissed back, and soon they were going at it as if they had never split up. In fact, it was pretty reminiscent of the times when Buffy had been on patrol before he had changed. Buffy held onto him desperately. They put their whole hearts and souls in it. The time away had made them hold onto each other tighter. They didn't want to lose each other again.

It was Buffy who pulled off. "I need to go back to the house. I don't want anyone checking up on me to see that I'm gone." Angel nodded. "When will I see you again?"

Angel thought a moment, then replied, "I'll come down to Sunnydale in a few days. There are a few things I need to tie up." Buffy smiled. She kissed him one last time, before leaping off the bench.

"I love you." Buffy waved, then jogged out of the park.

"I love you, too." Angel whispered. He looked around the park, wondering what he had just done. Was he crazy? He shook his head. No. He was in love, and was finally doing the right thing. They belonged to each other, and they were both in misery without each other. Who cared what other people thought? This was their life, not anyone else's! After all they had been through they deserved it.

Angel slowly stood up, looked to where Buffy had left, and smiled. She was the joy of his life. And now he had his soul for good. A phrase came to mind, 'Love is eternal.' It certainly was, love was eternal. He and Buffy could make it.

/Maybe I don't want to know
Maybe I want to feel for you
Maybe I don't want to know
Maybe I want to feel for you
Maybe I don't want to know
Maybe I want to feel for you

*****

Riley dropped Buffy off at her house the next morning. As they pulled up to her house, Buffy noticed Willow's car parked on the street. She smiled to herself. Willow must be curious to see how her meeting with Angel had gone. She just hoped that she hadn't said anything to her mother yet. But she was glad that Willow was there for that purpose. It was going to be hard to break it to her mother that she was back with Angel. She knew that her mother never liked Angel, even after she had explained that he had his soul again.

Buffy waved to Riley as he pulled away from her house. Although she was a little sad about the break up, she knew it had been bound to happen. She shifted her duffel bag on her shoulder, and walked up to the front door. Apparently, Willow was anxiously waiting Buffy's return, for she opened the door right when Buffy stepped up to it.

"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed.

"Willow!" Buffy teasingly exclaimed back. They hugged.

"How did it go?" Willow whispered, not wanting Buffy's mom to overhear.

Buffy shook her head. "I'll tell you guys at the same time. My mom needs to know." Willow nodded. She stood back to let her into the house. Buffy's mom walked out of the kitchen.

"Buffy! How was your weekend?" She asked, wiping her hands on a towel.

"Fine." Buffy answered, dumping her bag on the floor. Her mom's eyebrows arched in question. "Fine? That's it?"

"Mom, Willow, sit down. We need to talk." Her mom looked at her puzzled, but did as she was asked.

Once seated, Buffy just came out with it, "Riley and I broke up." Joyce's jaw dropped a little. "Why? What was wrong with him?" Inwardly, she was cringing at her words. She knew her daughter didn't like how she wanted her to have a good, human boyfriend. Anyone was better than Angel, in her opinion. She had liked Riley, too.

"He reminded me too much of Giles." Buffy answered, wanting to start slowly with the explanations. She knew it was a pitiful excuse, but she couldn't just come out with 'I still love Angel!'

Willow choked on her tea that she had been sipping. Her eyes bulged at Buffy. Buffy had never mentioned this to her. Reminded her of Giles? Well yes, he was bookish, but he wasn't Giles entirely. And what about Angel?

"That's it?" Joyce asked again. "That's not much of an excuse. Riley was a nice guy."

"Sure, he was a nice guy. But he also took me to a park Saturday night, and when vampires appeared, he wouldn't listen to me and leave. I realized that I couldn't protect him forever. The whole year, I was always worried about his safety. And I worried about how he would react if he had found out about me. I don't want that anymore." Buffy took a deep breath and looked at her mom and Willow. Willow was smiling. She knew what she was about to say. Her mom was shocked. Well, shocked is a harsh term compared to the shock when she had found out the Buffy was a Slayer.

"Angel appeared that night at the park, and he helped me with the vampires." Joyce's expression of shock quickly turned to anger. "I finally realized that I can't live a normal life. I can't have a normal boyfriend. Angel and I were meant to be together. We talked the next night and he is coming back to Sunnydale. We're getting back together." Buffy sighed. There, she'd let it all out. Her mom now knew about Angel.

Joyce blew up. "Why are you doing this, Buffy? Why? He is not good enough for you! I can't believe this! You deserve better!"

Buffy wasn't happy to hear her mother like this, but she wasn't about to let her stop her from seeing Angel. "You want to know why?! Well, it's because I love him! As I told him, I don't want kids. I don't exactly live in an ideal situation to raise kids. They would probably end messed up! And I know you try to ignore it, but I can't. I'm a slayer. Slayers don't live long. I'm not about to desert my kids. Face it, Mom. I'm going to die. I'm not going to live to a ripe old age. I want to live my life right now the way I want to, and I want to live with Angel."

"I will not allow you to!" Joyce yelled at Buffy.

Buffy was seething by now. "What's to say that you can? I'm nineteen. I can live my life however I want to. You can't stop me."

"Stop it! Stop it now, both of you!" Willow screamed over Buffy and Joyce. Both of them quieted down and looked over at Willow.

Willow turned to look Joyce in the face. "Ms. Summers, I know you may not think this is my place to interfere, but I feel the need to explain Buffy's situation."

Joyce calmed down, but her voice was curt, "What needs to be explained? Buffy deserves better."

Willow shook her head, and looked her straight in the eye. "You don't understand them. But more importantly you don't understand Buffy." Joyce looked at her, upset. "You may know now that she is the Slayer, but you still don't know what she feels, deals with everyday, and how she lives. Buffy was called to her destiny at a young age; at the age when she shouldn't have to deal with vampires and demons. And at a time when you weren't there to support her."

Joyce looked at her puzzled. "I know that you and Buffy's father were having a hard time." Willow answered Joyce's questioning look.

"You try to understand what Buffy is going through, but neither you nor anyone of us will ever be able to understand how she felt at that time, or any time since. She has been alone in this for four years. Yes, she has had friends to help her, but it's not the same. We can't help her fight. We will never feel the pressure, the pain, or the heartbreak. She has accepted her destiny, the one that was thrown at her. She has accepted the early death and all that comes with that package. That she will never be able to marry, have a family, and grow old, she has accepted. But you have not. You think she can do it, but she can't."

Willow paused and looked over at Buffy whose eyes were threatening to spill tears. She nodded at Willow and weakly smiled, showing her that she appreciated what she was doing. "As for Angel, he has been the only one to understand her. He may not be the slayer, but he too was thrown a life that he did not deserve or want. He understands the pressure, pain and heartbreak. Angel was there to help Buffy those couple of years. In each other, they found a friend and a soulmate; someone to help each other in their battles, and to give a shoulder to lay on. They comfort each other in a way that no one else can. Most importantly they found someone to love. Their love is so deep and true that you nor anybody else can understand."

Willow took a deep breath before continuing. She didn't know how she was going to take it. Of course, she was unsure how Joyce felt about what she had said so far. "Ms. Summers, whether you like it or not, Angel is the reason why Buffy is still alive. He can protect her unlike you or I, and he will do anything for her."

"Angel may be a vampire and older than her, but that is where the differences end. He may not be able to walk in the sun or give her children, but he can give her companionship, love, and understanding. He gives her the life that we cannot; a life of happiness in the middle of darkness." Willow finished her speech and glanced briefly at Buffy and her mother. Tears had come to both sets of eyes.

"I'm sorry." Joyce softly whispered toward Buffy. "I do try to understand you, but I can't. I thought it was for the best. I told Angel to leave." Buffy looked up at her mom sharply. "But I regret it now." Joyce quickly replied to the stare. "Even though I was happy you had Riley, I noticed, although I tried to push it out of my mind, I noticed that you were never happy. You were always a little sad. I guess I pushed you too much into a life that you didn't want. It's just that… I just never understood. I guess Willow is right. Angel is the right one for you. I'm glad he can give you everything I cannot. And I'm glad that he can protect you. I've always wanted, needed to protect my baby. But this last year, I have found that I couldn't."

Joyce looked up at Buffy with a somber face, "Please forgive me. For splitting you two up, and for not being the best mother." Her eyes pleaded with Buffy.

Buffy tears soon multiplied as she went over to her mother on the other couch, and hugged her. "It's okay. I'm sorry, too." Joyce nodded, and carefully cradled Buffy's head in her lap. She gently brushed hair off of Buffy's face, and kissed her on her forehead. "I love you sweetheart. I don't want to lose you."

"Neither do I." A muffled sob came from Buffy.

Willow smiled at the two. She quietly stood up, picked up her things and left the house. She wanted to give them some time alone. They needed to get everything out in the open and fix their problems. And she knew they would this time.

*****

Buffy visited Giles that afternoon. He asked her how her weekend went, and she proceeded to tell him the story. Luckily, he was more understanding than her mom had been in the beginning. He had since accepted Angel after he had come back. He also knew it was for Buffy's happiness and wellbeing.

Xander on the other hand, was a little miffed to say the least when he heard the news. But amazingly, he too accepted Angel's return. He knew, as well, that it was for Buffy's happiness. He gave her his blessing, if you could call it that. It was more of mild acceptance. After Riley had shown up on the scene, he had finally given up his chase of Buffy and accepted their friendship as all it would be.

Oz was fine since Willow was fine with it. That's all there is to say about his reaction. He knew Willow had always wanted her best friend to be happy, and for her relationship with Angel to work.

So everything was set up for Angel's return to Sunnydale. Everyone was happy or at least, accepting of the situation.

Except for maybe some of the vampires, but they don't count.

/Falling deeper into the unknown
I'm losing the fight to stay alone
And I'm falling
Falling for you

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