Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: The Series and all relatedcharacters are the sole property of the WB, Joss Wedon, Mutany Enemy etc. Nocopyright infringement intended. Don't sue.
Distrubtion: Ask FIRST. Fanfiction.Net
Cast: B/A
Dedication: To B/A shippers around the world.
Summary: Letters written between Buffy and Angel.
Feedback: Loved and begged for *
Note: It may not seem like its a good ending but remember, they *did* end up together.
Dear Angel,
There isn't any easy way to say this I guess. One night while I was with Riley, he got too aggressive and while we were fighting, I killed him. Does that make me a monster? I dream about it and think about it constantly. Am Iwhat I kill? I hope not, for my sake as well as innocents. I know, you probably won't answer but I didn't know who else to confess too. I'm sorry for bothering you as I probably have. You're busy now, with your own life.< Tears fall on the pages. > I miss you, every single second of every single day of my life without you. I don't give a damn what you said. You don't have to repeat either, I remember it like it was yesterday and I'm not sure I'll ever forget so please, spare me. < Anger and pain tore through her heart. > Will you ever admit we are soulmates and belong together or will you always, even after my death, talk about how right it is for me to have you leave me. I'll leave you alone to go back to your soul saving career and me in my misery and loneliness.
Yours,
Buffy
* * *
Angel picked up the letter and began to read, pain and anger filling his features. He knew in his heart of hearts she was only speaking from pain and confusion but it hurt nonetheless. He decided he wouldn't reply although hehad no doubt he'd receive another letter and another and another until he snapped with inner loathing.
* * *
Dear Angel,
I knew you wouldn't reply but I still had hope. Thanks for killing it. It died a long, horrible death with your name on it, just in case you were curious. Others are curious why I'm so down and where the hell Riley is. I said he died but they are still suspicious wanting details on his death. I give them a look to kill and go on with my life. Why am I down? I reply when they ask. Because life is life and I live in my own personal hell. Hey, did you know my hell is named after you?
Yours,
Buffy
* * *
Angel looked at this letter and roared with pain, flinging everything on hisdesk against the wall. Wesley looked up and Cordelia just sighed. They knew better than to question. The only answer for him darkness, brooding, was as always a young blond slayer; Buffy.
* * *
Dear Angel,
Are you coming to help us like Giles said you were? I'll believe it when I see it of course. Not like I need your help, just your love but you can't even give that, can you? Later then.
Yours,
Buffy
* * *
Angel only stared and finished packing. He left towards Sunnydale.
* * *
Dear Angel,
I couldn't believe you actually came to help us like you said you would but then, you always keep your promises, don't you? I don't know what happened between us when you came and I can only chalk it up to insanity. Sex between us was always good, course, if you ask Angelus, he wouldn't think so. What did he say again? Oh, You suck or something to that extent. Always a good thing for your self-esteem, don't you think? I'm not sure how much longer I can live without you, damn you. Death has to be better. Sometimes, I think being a vampire would be better, then you'd want me, wouldn't you, you bastard!
Yours,
Buffy
* * *
Angel closed his eyes as his heart broke once again.
* * *
Dear Angel,
This will be my last letter. By the time you get this, I'll be gone,literally. I'd have killed myself. Staked myself actually. I won't live without you anymore and since you don't want me, I'll leave this world and let another take my place. Know this, I'll always love you.
Love Always,
Buffy
* * *
Angel roared in pain and screamed in fury. NO - she couldn't be dead but he knew she was. She always does what she says she will, much like him. He got up, wrote a letter to Wesley and Cordelia and staked himself. Life without her was meaningless.
* * *
Remember ... Death is only the beginning ...
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