Disclaimer: I own nothing, for that I just borrowed the characters. So don't sue.
Spoilers: Season 4/Season1, definitely "Sanctuary"
Summary: The End of Days is coming and Buffy and Angel have to work out several issues
Rating: mostly like the show, some strong language
Feedback: oh please
Dedication: for my friend Sunny, who got this for her birthday some time ago, because she was so depressed watching Season 4 BtVS.
AN: Just think Angel never came to appologize after Sanctuary, they haven't seen each other or talked ever since
AN2: For this Season 5 or Season 2 respectively never happened

Prologue

The street was dark. It was close to midnight, two homeless men laid somewhere seeing shelter under old newspapers. A cat ran to one of them, sniffling, then she turned round and left. The twilight of two old lanterns barely enlightened the dark place. One of the homeless turned, coughing and shaking than seemed to relax again.

A tall, dark figure stood under one of the lanterns. He seemed to wait for someone of something but had been there for over an hour and nothing had happened. Suddenly a door opened and a couple, a tall blonde man and a brown haired woman left a club, laughing and kissing each other. The woman smiled at the man and whispered, "Kiss me now. I can't wait."

The man laughed as well and pinned her against a wall, leaning down for a kiss when he realised her face had changed. It didn't look pretty anymore but wrinkled and not at all human. The woman's hand grabbed his throat, made him turn and backed him against the wall now. She smiled, "I'm awfully sorry, but I'm really hungry now." Then she stretched her neck when a sudden pan stroke her body and she vanished right before the man's eyes.

The young man saw a tall figure standing right in front of him holding something wooden and watching him with serious, but strangely unemotional eyes and then just said; "Go home kid. One shouldn't be alone at that time of the day." Then he turned and left.

Chapter 1

Giles closed his book, he had just finished reading and put the glasses down to clean them. He sighed heavily and looked over to Willow who'd fallen asleep over her laptop in his living room. They had been researching the whole evening for something Giles had read in the Codex - the book of phrophecy. Buffy had slayed a vampire the night before. Before turning to dust it had said something like the "End of Days" is near. Buffy had not taken this serious, vamps always said such things to her, she had just reported it to Giles. He on the other hand had felt a slight shiver but didn't tell his slayer, who was very lax about her duty recently. When she'd left again he'd started research and later called Willow to help with the computer, telling her he didn't want Buffy to know about it - yet.

The witch hated secrets, but she knew the ex-watcher had to have his reasons. Buffy on the other side had been so busy with Riley she hadn't even noticed her friend had left the dorm with the laptop in her hand. Just recently Buffy didn't seem to have anything on her mind except Riley. It was close to annoying.

Giles reached out and touched Willow's arm: "Willow?"

She slowly raised her head and blinked, "Giles? What ... oh, I did fall asleep ... sorry," she yawned.

He smiled, "Oh, no need to be sorry. But I think I've found something in this watcher diary and in the Codex."

"Will you tell me?," she asked.

"Of course. It seems that we really have to deal with something called "The End of Days". The demons put this on the Salem night. This would be the fourth Christmas after the Master's death - so it would be next ... er ... coming Christmas."

Willow's eyes widened in fear, "So this means we will have our last Christmans ... er ... if you celebrate it that is ... or none at all?"

"Well I don't know when the exact day is, but it could be any day around Christmas. Anyway. We need more information. It also says a strong vampire - something like a new master - will come to the Hellmouth and lead the others into battle to reopen it and conquer the earth. We need to find out which vampire this could be. We also need more help. Where's Xander?"

"He's in San Francisco - on a weekend trip with Anya. But they'll be back tonight."

"Good."

"What about Buffy?"

"Buffy?," Giles sighed, "Well ... we have to tell her ... not now, but when we know more. Willow this is really serious, maybe the greatest challenge ever. I have to make a phone call."

The red-head looked at him, he seemed more concerned than usual. So she asked, "To call whom?"

"Angel," he replied shortly.

"Angel? Why?"

The ex-watcher took a deep breath, "He might have heard something. He has connections none of us has."

"How do you know," she began but then shook her head, "No rewind that. You stayed in touch."

Giles nodded and she whispered, "Angel. We haven't seen him over a year, no almost two. How is he?"

"I don't really know. We never discuss anything private, only shop talk and to be honest I haven't talked to him for a while. Usually I call Wyndon-Pryce."

"Wesley?" Willow's eyes widened in surprise.

"Hmmm," Giles made. "He works for Angel in L.A." He picked up the phone and then suddenly smiled, "Cordelia! So good to hear your voice. How are you?"

"Fine," she answered, sounding a little bit annoyed. "What do you want?"

"I need to talk to Angel."

"Angel?"

"Yes," When she didn't say anything, he frowned, "Is there something wrong?"

"I ... no, not really. But you haven't talked to him for a while, Giles. You might find him changed."

"Changed?"

"Well ... you'll see. I'll put you through."

The ex-watcher waited only a second and then heard a voice, "Giles. What can I do for you?"

Giles shuddered unconsciously when he heard the voice. It was Angel, but he sounded different, cold and distant, not the warm and concerned tone he was used to.

"Giles!"

The former watcher snapped out of his thoughts, "Oh sorry. Angel. I need your help."

"So?"

"Buffy killed a vampire yesterday. And before turning to dust it was telling something about the End of Days. Have you heard anything?"

"Actually I have. I met a demon three days ago that told me a story about an Armageddon coming on Christmas. It wouldn't go into details - I killed it so it might not have had enough time to tell."

Giles frowned. Something was deeply wrong with the vampire. There was no concern in his voice, not the slightest hint that he cared at all. The ex-watcher tried to collect his thoughts and said, "Angel. I've read a lot and I think the End of Days is really coming. The Prophecies say a strong vampire is on his was to Sunnydale to reopen the Hellmouth. It this is true and I think it is, we need all the help we can get. Would you come here?"

"Why?"

"To help us, Buffy..."

Angel interrupted him, "Sunnydale is none of my business anymore. Giles I have clients in L.A."

"But...," the ex-watcher tried, but was interrupted again.

"You have a slayer and another one if we think of Faith who's now back in Sunnydale. Besides this you have the Initiative. Why would you need me? Us?"

Giles was shocked. He hadn't expected to hear such a thing from the vampire. Not even the fact that Buffy was probably in danger was of interest for him. "Angel, I..."

There was a strange noise on the other side of the phone and then he heard Cordelia's voice, "Giles. I've overheard your conversation. We'll be there tonight. See you." Then a click and the line was dead.

After a while Willow asked shyly, "What happened?"

Giles took a deep breath, "They'll be here tonight or so I hope. Angel was ... he was so different, Willow. No, don't look at me that way. He wasn't Angelus, but he was distant and non-caring. I have never ... anyway. We should have a meeting tonight and I've also changed my mind. We need Buffy here and Riley. The Initiative might have informations we could use."

The witch nodded, "I'll call them. Is Cordy coming too?"

"Yes," the first smile spread across the Brit's face.

***

Chapter 2

Buffy opened her eyes and yawned. She looked over to Willow's bed only to see her roommate wasn't there. She turned to gaze at her clock - nine. Her first class on this last day before the Christmas break was in an hour, so no need to hurry.

She'd been in bed late. She and Riley had been out for dinner, then to patrol and then there was sex with him. Sex with Riley was a regular experience in her life these days. And it felt good, she forgot about everything when they were in bed together. Outside bed he made her laugh, he made her smile, he was a good boyfriend, but sex was the best part. Why did she never think about it as making love she wondered shortly but threw the thought overboard soon. It didn't really matter, she decided.

She stretched her legs and arms and yawned again. Riley was really caring and she loved him. Her mother loved him too and was happy her daughter had found him.

The door suddenly opened and Willow entered their room. She looked tired and Buffy cocked an eyebrow at her: "Hey Will? Busy night?"

"Giles."

"Giles?"

"Yes, research Buffy. You remember that I sometimes actually do that. There's not only slaying you know," she replied more angrily than she'd intended. But her friend was annoying her more and more.

"Jeez, Will, calm down," the slayer rolled her eyes.

"Okay," the witch took a deep breath. It wasn't the time to fight. "Giles freaked out over the vamp you fought. The one with the End of Days thing. Anyway, we researched the whole night and found something. He wants us all to meet tonight at his house. Can you bring Riley?"

"Now that freaks me out. Giles never wants Riley around. What's the what?" Buffy crossed her legs and watched Willow intensely.

"It's about a prophecy. I called Xander and Anya too and knocked on Tara's door just right before to tell her to come over." Shortly she discussed if she'd tell her about Angel coming but then thought she would leave that surprise for the night.

The slayer sighed: "Alright, I'll get Riley later."

"Fine, I need a shower now. Then classes - thank God only two today. I have to get some sleep later - otherwise I'm not getting through another night." And I SO do not want to miss you meeting Angel tonight, she thought inwardly.

Buffy laughed slightly and she looked at her friend disappearing in the bathroom she gave Riley a call to say all would meet at Giles tonight.

Chapter 3

Cordelia was talking to Wesley in the back of his car while Angel drove right after sunset to Sunnydale. He hadn't been there for over a year and he wasn't looking forward going there again and meeting her. The last time had been enough. He'd sworn to himself something like that wouldn't happen to him again. Also a vampire could only take a certain amount of ... forget about it, he said to himself. This is over and out. It is SO out. And it didn't even hurt anymore. A faint smile crossed his lips. It was a good way to live like this - no emotions, no feelings - well at least not these kinds of feelings. He'd listened to his demonic side a bit more the last year and found out it made things much easier.

Demonic side not in the classical sense of course like feeding from humans, but cooling down stupid human emotions, stupid feelings, shielding the heart and pretending there wasn't any. A comfortable way to live. Emotions were dangerous and so he'd just shut them away - to a dark corner of his unconsciousness where he couldn't find them anymore. Somewhere on his way he'd gotten so used to this state that he didn't even miss them anymore.

A good feeling. At first Cordelia had been glad he'd stopped brooding, but now she was watching him as she was watching the women who came and went in his life. He didn't even pretend to care. It was his life not hers. The women were for his comfort and he slammed his door when the former may queen remarked that none of them had been a blonde.

After his last encounter with the slayer he'd been left shattered, to hear her voice talking about her lover, about her love for him. He'd been drunk for over a month and pulled himself out of it very slowly by finding a way to live - or to exist. Without the images of her in another man's arms, without the words that were haunting him, that she'd never trusted him. But trusted Riley. Oh, he'd found out about his name and what he did. Hunting vampires with guns - ridiculous. But it seemed what she wanted. So she should have it. She might deserve it, he decided.

Chapter 4

With entwined hands Buffy and Riley entered Giles' living room where they found their friends assembled. The former watcher greeted them by nodding his head.

Riley went to the big chair in the corner and Buffy curled in his lap, which made Willow roll her eyes. The slayer smiled: "Now. We're here - why don't you enlighten us about the great, big danger."

"We're expecting some more guests," Giles explained cryptically.

The slayer looked at him. Guests? Who would come? By the look on his face she could tell he wouldn't tell her. She shrugged inwardly and turned towards her boyfriend who smiled at her and she started kissing him when a voice interrupted them.

"Well, slayer. Making out in public again. It's sickening you know." Spike entered the room in his red shirt and took a seat opposite to the couple.

"Shut up," Buffy yelled.

"I just noticed something," the vampire grinned evilly. "Everyone was seeing it, what's so mean about saying it aloud."

The slayer shot him a look and was about to give him an answer when she heard a knock on the door. Giles went to answer it and when he let the guests in Buffy tensed immediately. That can't be she thought, this wasn't possible. She hadn't seen him for more than a year.

Riley felt Buffy stiffening and closed his arms tightly around her waist. He could feel something had to be wrong. A dark, tall, handsome stranger, older than him, a pretty brunette and a stiff looking older guy. They were greeted with nods when Giles said: "Angel. Cordelia. Pryce. Meet Riley and Tara."

Angel nodded only into the two people's direction and then his gaze went back on Giles.

He was just ignoring her, Buffy couldn't believe it. He hadn't even looked at her when he'd greeted Riley. But he didn't seem uncomfortable about it, it had been just as ... as if he didn't care at all. A sudden pain shot through her body, like burning hot fire right through her heart. She'd seen his eyes. These wonderful, soulful eyes were cold, shut up, bare of any emotion. Like dead. Seeing this she nearly broke into parts. What had happened she wondered? Unconsciously she loosened Riley's arms at her waist and moved to sit beside him, not seeing the surprised look on her boyfriend's face.

Angel broke the silence: "There we are. Will you now explain what's so important.?"

Wesley and Cordelia sat down as well, the vampire preferred to stand, leaning his body to the wall when the door opened again and Xander and Anya entered the apartment. At the sight of the guests the boy grinned: "Cordy, my dearest, Wesley," he raised an eyebrow and then his gaze settled on Angel, "Dead Boy. Still around and sucking." But the vampire just ignored him, didn't even look at him. Xander frowned: "What's up with him? Not enough blood tonight?"

"Blood? Sucking? Dead-Boy," Riley rose from his chair and stared at Angel, then at Buffy: "What's going on here?"

"Sit down," Willow shot the commando a warning glance. "Angel's a friend and yes, he's a vampire. But he's good and on our side and I don't want to hear one word about it from you." Narrow minded idiot, she added silently and exchanged a glance with Tara who was grinning at her.

"Can we go on now?" Giles asked annoyed. "Alright. I've done some more research today after Willow left. It seems we're going to face a fight that is called the End of Days. The Codex says a new master is going to rise and they'll going to open the hellmouth. The date is around Christmas."

"We got that before Giles," Angel replied with an unfamiliar coolness. "I hope it wasn't the reason you made us come for."

"Er ... well," the former watcher stared at the vampire for a moment before snapping back into reality again: "Well. This master is supposed to be a very strong and ancient vampire. The only vampire that would be able to perform such a ritual is a creature called Gabriel."

"You've really go trouble," Angel pushed himself off of the wall and sat down beside Cordelia, pouring himself a glass of orange juice before continuing: "He's about 800 years old. And very powerful."

"800 years isn't that much," Anya threw in but was silenced by Xander's irony grip around her waist.

"Who's she?" Angel asked.

"He's my boyfriend," the former demon snapped.

"Anya honey," Xander sighed. "Anya's been a vengance demon for almost 1100 years. Because of ... well some circumstances she's human now. Permanently."

And odd look crossed the dark-haired vampire's face for a moment, but it disappeared quickly.

"So you know that Gabriel guy?" Buffy asked and looked at Angel.

"Yes," he replied studying her face for a moment with these cold, unfeeling eyes that made her shiver.

"Met him too," Spike said from his spot. During our time in Europe. Vicious fella. Darla wouldn't travel with him. Too dangerous."

"Well that's comforting," Cordelia sighed.

Giles nodded, his eyes more concerned than ever. "Angel what do you know about him," he asked finally.

"He always had a bunch of minions around him. He was even some sort of Master then. Then he suddenly disappeared. He was supposed to be dead. Then I heard another rumour about him traveling with two witches and I'd say that's probably true. By the way, why isn't Faith here? I thought she came back to Sunnydale."

Silence settled over the room. Uncomfortable silence. Then Xander spoke: "Well, let's just say our slayers don't get along very well. They usually avoid each other."

"Avoid each other," the dark-haired vampire raised a brow, then looked at Giles: "This is ridiculous. You made me come because you need some help and you don't get your slayers to work together."

"I don't want her here," Buffy said, her voice sounding angry.

Angel turned his head and gazed at her for a long moment, cold, uncaring: "You're behaving unprofessionally. This isn't a time for this kind of behaviour. Get yourself together and act like a slayer." Then without even waiting for her response he turned back to Giles again: "We have to fight him and his minions. But only when the time comes. What makes everything unpredictable is the possiblity that he might travel with the two witches."

"We can help," Willow said looking at Tara. "Tara is a witch too," she explained the vampire.

"Uhm," Cordelia raised a hand. "I don't want to spoil this. But maybe we should try to find our where this nice vampire is."

"A very good idea," Giles nodded. "Buffy, you go on patrol and maybe you can find anything. And take Angel."

"Why?," the slayer asked getting up.

"Because he knows Gabriel," the ex-watcher said gazing at the dark-haired vampire.

"I could go as well," Riley offered, not liking that the others in the room were ignoring him.

"No," Giles shook his head, "Please stay. We need as many as we can for research."

"Fine," Angel took his duster. "We'll be back in some hours. And Giles. Get Faith here." Ignoring Buffy again he left the apartment leaving it up to her to follow him.

Chapter 5

So Buffy and Angel found themselves together on the street at night patrolling as they'd done so many times before. It should've been like slipping back into an old routine, but nothing was the same anymore. The slayer couldn't get over the vampire's behaviour towards her and in general. And even now, he didn't talk or look at her. He just walked down the street towards Restfield, behaving as if she wasn't even with him. And he walking so fast she'd difficulties to keep up with him.

She'd hoped there would be some kind of tension between them, a sparkle or whatever but there was nothing. Just plain nothing. At least from his side. For her it felt as if she was dying inside. Burning with a raging fire that eat up her inner organs. Finally she broke the silence: "How've you been?"

He shot her a short glance and raised his brow arrogantly: "Fine."

She let out an exasperated sigh: "You were never one to talk too much, were you? Usually it would be polite for you to ask how I am. So I could answer fine too."

"I didn't need to ask. I could see that," he snapped back cursing himself instantly for showing emotion, any emotion.

"So you did notice I was there at all?" she tried to joke but didn't feel happy. "Alright. Next question. How's work?"

"Fine."

She rolled her eyes: "God. Get over yourself. What's the matter?"

He stopped suddenly and turned to look at her. Again his eyes made her shiver. "Why on earth should we pretend there was something we could talk about? We live different lives now. I don't belong in your world and you don't belong in mine anymore. We might know the same people or at least some people but that should sum it up." With this he began to walk again, not waiting if she'd follow or not.

Buffy felt hurt by his words. More hurt she'd believe possible. After the pain of him leaving she'd thought nothing would get at her anymore but now she knew better. She'd thought they would always care for each other. Obviously it wasn't true anymore. Obviously he'd stopped caring.

In silence they walked into the cemetery and up to the old mansion that held so many memories for them. He stopped immediately when he saw candlelights through the windows and carefully he stepped closer knowing that the slayer had seen it as well. The door of the old house opened and two figures stepped out into the dark A black-haired, fragile woman and a tall, blond-haired man who looked as if he was in his forties.

Buffy drew a sharp breath and whispered: "Dru!"

"Yes," he replied. "The other one is Gabriel. Let's go." He touched her arm slightly and both turned to report this immediately.

***

The slayer opened the door to Giles' apartment and said, "They are at the old mansion." Then with a glance at Spike she added: "Dru's with him."

The blonde-haired vampire stared at her for a moment then simply stood up and left the room. Angel's eyes followed him and Buffy saw a flicker of concern in them, but when he noticed her gaze resting on him he turned cold again.

Riley came towards his girlfriend and hugged her, ignoring the vampire in the process. He still had to digest the fact he was standing in the same room with a hostile without attacking him. He'd tried to find out more about him while they were gone but none of Buffy's friends would elaborate it.

Finally Giles broke the silence. He looked at Angel: "Dru?"

"Yes," the vampire nodded. "And she looked stronger than ever. I could feel it. I." He stopped and took a deep breath, "I had always a connection to my childer. She's changed. Different. I cannot tell how at the moment, but something's happened to her. The only thing I can say is that it doesn't make me feel comfortable." When he saw the eyes of everyone resting on him he added, "Maybe Gabriel did something to her or the witches. If they're with him. We have to find that out." Then he turned towards Giles again: "Did you contact Faith?"

"Yes," the ex-watcher replied glancing at Buffy shortly. "She'll be here tomorrow night."

"Good," the vampire nodded. "Combined forces is what's needed." Then he looked around, "maybe everyone should get some sleep now. You all look as if you'd need it."

****

They decided to meet again the next afternoon. Buffy and Willow took Cordelia with them to their dorm while Angel and Wesley stayed with Giles.

The vampire went into the basement of Giles' house. He sighed. It had been harder to keep his cool than he'd thought, but then he hadn't seen her for a while and almost forgot what impact she'd on him. The picture of Buffy sitting on Riley's lap had driven him to the edge - almost. He let out a non-happy laugh. God, he had been a fool to believe he could handle the situation, could control his emotions around her. You're stupid, he told himself, stupid, stupid, stupid. You shouldn't have come here, what were you thinking. The old well-known pain was creeping through his body already, was running up and down his spine, was clenching his heart in it's iron grip. He tried to concentrate on the shields and protections he'd built inside for over a year now, but already knew the struggle was in vain.

But he couldn't let it happen. He couldn't let pain take over - because he knew if it would happen he'd shatter. God, he had been so stupid thinking it was over.

Now he knew better, it would never be over.

Chapter 6

Cordelia was the first to wake up after some hours of deep sleep. When she yawned from her mat on the floor she saw Willow opening one eye and smiling at her sleepily. "I never thought I'd say that," the red-head began. "But I actually think it's nice having you here."

"Yes," Cordelia nodded. It was feeling good for her too.

"I still feel tired. How long did we sleep?" a third voice came from the other bed. Buffy could only think of strong, black coffee. She felt beat.

Willow looked at her watch: "More than six hours. That should do the trick for a while," she stood up and switched the coffee machine on. She and Buffy had installed one some time ago at their room.

"Cordy," Buffy gazed at the brunette, "What's the matter with Angel? What happened?"

"Being so distant you mean?" The former may-queen shrugged, "It all happened gradually. It started over a year ago," she said with a pointed look at the slayer, "he changed. First he was only not brooding as much anymore which I thought to be great, but then he grew more and more distant and then he started dating women."

"Women? As in more than one?," Willow asked with big eyes which went on to look at the slayer.

"Yeah," Cordelia replied enjoying the conversation now. She'd never forgiven Buffy for her treating Angel so badly. Oh she would give it to her now. "Far more than one. I lost the count now. They come and go. Stay for a week or two. Just long enough to annoy me. Some of them are quite silly, but," she grinned suddenly, "all of them with great bodies. With this he's really got taste."

"What do you mean great bodies," Buffy sat in her bed, her spine rigid. "You mean he's sleeping with them?"

The brunette nodded: "Sure. I don't even hear it anymore. The moaning and screaming from downstairs. It's his life or un-life after all." She stood up, "I'm dying for a shower right now." She turned for the bathroom and left a stunned slayer and witch staring after her.

******

Angel was already sitting over a book when the three girls entered Giles' apartment later that day. He looked up and greeted Cordelia with a quick smile but then his gaze went back on the page.

"Riley's not coming today," the slayer informed Giles her gaze resting on Angel. "He's to work at the lab today and he'll tell us later what they plan to do."

The ex-watcher nodded absentmindedly while he was searching for a certain book in his shelves.

Buffy was still watching the vampire. She couldn't even begin to digest the information of him being with other women. It was ripping her heart out and he didn't even care. She wanted to scream aloud, but knew she couldn't. First of all she didn't want to cause a scene with all her friends present and secondly she didn't really have a right to do so. She had been the first to turn to other men, but then another little voice said, he's left you, he told you to move on. She closed her eyes for a moment, angry that he was in every fiber of her body already and didn't seem touched himself. God, how she hated him, how she hated this. To feel this way. To be forced into this because of her duty, her damned duty.

And she hated Giles for bringing Angel back to Sunnydale, for causing her pain, for ... she couldn't stay here any longer. She had to go and find Riley. Now. "Uhm, guys. I forgot about something. Will be back soon," she apologized herself and left the room.

Angel didn't even look up.

****

Fortunately she found Riley in his room. Surprised but pleased he greeted her and let her in. "Buffy, I didn't expect you here."

"Are you very busy?" she asked looking him straight into the eye.

"No, not really. I went to check with the Initiative but they've scheduled a meeting for tonight. I'll tell you more than."

"Good," she said huskily and began to open her blouse. She needed this, needed it now. Needed to know she was okay, she could deal, she would not hurt, she wouldn't shatter.

"Oh, wow," he grinned. "I didn't expect this. But why not. I'm always up to it."

Without another word the slayer stripped herself off of he clothes and then ripped the jeans from his body as well. She wanted to feel him, feel him fill her, making her whole. She rode him fiercly until her body was ripped through with orgasm and then he turned her around and rode her back. Filled her deeper and deeper, she could hear the sounds of bodies, the sounds of flesh meeting flesh and when he finally collapsed on top of her all she could feel was the big, dark emptiness it left.

She heard his ragged breath, felt his heart pounding against her breast but there was nothing. It left her shallow and empty. This moment she knew she was lost. There wasn't a cure for it. There was only one person in the world who could make her feel whole and this person didn't even care anymore. He'd moved on while she never could. She'd betrayed herself for more than a year. God, she'd been good at it. Pretending everything was fine and just peachy. But it wasn't. Nothing had been right anymore from the moment he'd left. Left her with her heart shattered at his feet. God, how she hated him, how she despised him for doing that, for making her feel that way, but she'd give her life only to feel him once again. To feel whole at least once again.

She wriggled herself away from her surprised lover and turned her back on him so he wouldn't see the tears streaming down her cheeks while she put her clothes back on. Then she left the room without looking back.

Chapter 7

Buffy took her time to get back to Giles' apartment. There was so much she had to think about. The thoughts were racing in her head. God, she had to think, but nothing made sense anymore. Thinking about the last hour almost made her vomit. Was she really that low? It was not about the fact that she'd sex with Riley, but that she'd just used him, without caring, without mercy. Riley loved her, every fool could see it in his eyes and so far she'd been sure she loved him as well, but it was all a lie, a damned lie. Well she loved him, but more like Xander, plus she felt sexually attracted to him. But it wasn't the same, it would never be the same.

That was the worst part. Admitting she would never have with any man what she had with Angel. The only man she'd never have. And deep inside she'd always known it and it had scared her to death. So she had tried to kill that kind of loneliness and loss with Riley, who didn't have a chance in the first place. She'd used him. Period. He was a nice guy, a good man and he didn't earn this. But was she ready for it. Ready to be alone, to face the darkness, the evil, the death, without the light.

Light.

Was it light? Was it light, that he could take her into sunlight, that he'd shown her how to drive, that he made picnics with her? Or was it just a sorry excuse for the real light in her life. The light that lit her up inside, the feeling she only had when Angel was near. This overwhelming attraction, this wonderful warm feeling deep inside whenever he held her in his arms.

She was weak and that was another thing she'd to admit. She was the slayer and was strong, but emotionally she was a wreck. So full of deep fear being left alone and it had nothing to do with Angel or her father, but with her calling, the deep fear that in the end it would only be herself and nobody else. That she couldn't tell anyone, not even her own mother what was really going on in her life for so long. Sure she'd friends and her mother now knew about the slaying, but none of them could understand what it meant to be a slayer. There had only been one person to understand her.

Angel.

Everything came back to Angel. A sad smile spread across her face. These soulful, deep eyes that would always look at her with so much love and concern. How she loved them and the person they belonged to. But the eyes were gone and with them was he. What on earth had happened? Why did he change into a cold, uncaring monster? Who could've hurt him and made him change because she knew there had to be a reason and now she was eager to find out about it.

Straightening her shoulders she entered the yard of the apartment complex. He wouldn't escape her. She had to know what was going on.

Chapter 8

Giles' apartment was crowded when she entered it, even Spike was reading a book. During the past year he'd almost become a friend. Willow and Tara were hanging over a spellbook at the table while Xander yawned and put his book away. "Nothing in here," he announced and looked at his girlfriend who was chewing a bag of chips beside him. Shaking his head and sighing he took the next book and started again.

"Hi, guys." Buffy tried a smile and gazed at her ex-watcher. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Read?," Cordelia suggested. "There are enough books. I'm sure there's one left for you."

"Uhm, well I'm not really research girl," she admitted with a sheepish grin. "But I can try."

Without a warning Angel suddenly stood up, grabbing his duster he turned towards Giles: "I'll be back soon. Just need some fresh air," and was gone. He couldn't stay in the room any more minute. This was too much. Seeing them together almost put him over the edge but now he could smell him allover her and he knew exactly what they'd been doing just recently.

The worst part however was that he felt his ice melting, the protective wall shattered piece by piece and he knew he couldn't take it. His bruised heart wouldn't survive this. Walking down the streets he was haunted by pictures of them kissing, hugging, laying together in bed. Riley. The name alone made his blood boil. He knew he had no right to behave like this, rationally. But his heart told him otherwise. Yes, he'd told her to move on and he'd expected it, but not so fast, not so completely. That hurt most, the fact he had to accept he'd never been anything else but a teenage crush of the lonely slayer. God, how that hurt.

****

Willow looked up when shortly after Angel Buffy stormed out of the apartment as well. Her questioning gaze wandered to Cordelia who only shrugged: "God, I hope they get over this soon. I really cannot stand him like this any longer."

****

"Wait," Buffy yelled and ran after him. When he didn't stop she grabbed his arm and spun him around. "I said wait," she repeated, her voice low and dangerous.

Angel stared at her. She stood in the light of a lantern, panting from running after him, her eyes hurt and accusing and he'd never seen her more beautiful before. And without a doubt he knew he'd never loved anyone else but her. But nothing of this showed in his face.

"What the hell is the matter with you?," she yelled now.

"Me?" he raised a brow.

"Yes, you."

"Nothing," he shrugged. "What should be the matter with me?"

She stepped even closer and shouted: "Why do you behave like this?

"Like what?"

"Like someone without a heart and soul. Like someone who's dead."

The second brow rose as well: "I am dead."

She threw her hands in the air and fury radiated from her eyes: "Don't act on me like that. That just isn't you. You barely notice me, you don't look at me and even if you do it's always distant as if I was a stranger." Tears were welling up in her eyes and she blinked angrily: "What's wrong with you? Why do you treat me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm a bug."

"I don't treat you like that. I don't treat you at all," he replied, his voice cold.

"Exactly."

"Buffy, that's ridiculous. What do you want from me? Isn't one lover enough for one night?", he smirked.

"What?," she stared at him confused.

"I'm a vampire," he said very slowly. Then he leaned forward until his mouth was almost at her ear and whispered: "I can smell things. That means also the fun you just had with Riley."

She jerked away as if he'd beaten her and her hand flew to her mouth: "Oh God," she whispered desperately. "Why do you do this to me? I thought we were friends?"

"Friends?," he echoed sarcastically. "I can clearly recall a day when *you* forgot about the meaning of that word. So don't talk to me about friendship you're the one who changed the rules."

"What?," she didn't understand. "What are you talking about. Do you mean the thing with Faith? Angel, I was angry. Faith had switched bodies with me, had slept with my boyfriend in my body. And you were protecting her. What do you think I should've said? Thank you?"

"Honestly Buffy," he sighed. "This is not my concern anymore. Do whatever you want, you're none of my business anymore. I came because Giles begged me to do so. He asked for our help, I never wanted to come, but Cordelia convinced me I'd owe him at least a favour."

"But..."

"Stop it, Buffy," his voice was rising now. "I'm not interested in your excuses. The chapter - us - is over and it's good that way. Period."

"So you can fuck your girls," she spat out.

He watched her for a moment, his eyes only slits now. Then with a dangerous voice he asked: "What?"

"Oh," she swallowed, "Cordelia told me all about them. You're disgusting, Angel. This is disgusting."

"You think?," he smirked and crossed his arms. "Why? Because I do what you do? Because I'm not crying each night over you? Because I can live without you? Well, that's your problem."

"My prob...," the words stuck in her throat. Her tongue just wasn't obeying her.

"And why on earth should it bother you at all? Because you're my friend?" The last word was spoken with so much disgust Buffy felt her gut knot. "You haven't cared for me for over a year my dear. You came to L.A. and lashed out on me. Alright. I took it and learned from it." He turned abruptly, God, he was an idiot. How could he say such a thing. Get yourself together he told himself.

"I cannot believe it's you I'm talking to," her voice was barely a whisper. "That just can't be you. You aren't like this."

He laughed in frustration and faced her again: "Buffy, you don't know me anymore. I've changed, life's changed, circumstances have. Everything is different now. It's me talking. I'm Angel, I've just learned my lessons. There might have been times when I thought ..., "he paused and swallowed to get his voice working again, "But that's over and done with."

"So there are other women in your life. How?"

"How? What do you mean?," he asked and let his eyes roam over her body. "I think you know pretty well how."

Ignoring his last comment she asked: "I mean you would lose your soul, wouldn't you?"

"How stupid are you?," he spat. "You're still a little girl, although I doubt it, knowing about your track record with college boys." He caught her hand in the air, his eyes narrowing: "Never hit me. It is sex, Buffy. Sex doesn't make me lose my soul, it's sex like you had with Parker." When he saw her eyes went wide he nodded: "Oh yes. I know about it. Spike was very glad he could tell me some news when he searched for the Ring of Amarra, you so nicely sent to me without even a note." He shrugged. "It's not really important anymore. Fact is, that night on your birthday we made love. I never," he stopped the last second and took a deep breath. "Don't push me Buffy. Don't insist on this discussion. I cannot...," his voice broke suddenly and he let go of her arm as if he'd burned himself.

She reached out for him but he backed away holding his hands like a shield in front of his body: "Go away from me. I don't want you near me anymore."

"Angel," she asked desperately. "What happened to you? I feel dreadful seeing you like this. Please let me help you?"

"Why would I need help? I'm fine. Just go and leave it," he replied, his voice calm again.

"No I won't," she said stubbornly. "I'm not going away. I care for you."

"No," he shook his head emphatically. "Don't. Just leave me."

With this he turned and disappeared into the night.

Buffy stood there looking at the spot he'd just stood. She'd never felt so empty in her life before.

Chapter 9

She ran after him. She needed only a minute to think and then she decided to follow him. She wouldn't let him get away with it this time. But where would he go to. He'd been leaving towards the direction of Restfield, maybe to see what Gabriel was doing again. She would find him and make him listen. She had to, she just had to. The look in his eyes was cold, but she could feel the despair behind them. She was his friend and she would show him.

***

After an hour it was her feeling despair. Where the hell did he go? There wasn't a sign of him. Nowhere. She'd been to all the cemeteries without success. Angel'd just vanished. She'd called Giles over her cell phone but he wasn't with them either. God, what had she done? If something would happen to him, she'd never forgive herself.

And then she saw him. He was leaning at a tree and he looked so lost, her heart immediately broke for him. "Angel," she said cautiously.

Not looking at her, his voice sounded tired now: "Can't you just leave me alone? Buffy, I can't deal with this. I just can't. I'm not as strong as you think. Give me some privacy and go."

"No," she replied. "I won't go. I see that you're hurting. Why wouldn't you let me help you?"

"There's no cure for it," he said after a while. "You said you cared for me. Alright, if you do please go. Because I cannot go on like this. It's too much. Even a vampire can only take a certain amount of this."

"What are you talking about? Angel," she reached out to touch his arm, but he flinched away. "Angel," she repeated, "what happened? Who did this to you?"

Slowly his head rose and his eyes shifted towards her and Buffy felt herself gasp. There was so much despair and deep pain in them, she couldn't suppress her tears. "Oh god, what happened?," she whispered.

"Don't you know?," a single tear ran down his cheek. "You cannot even let me have my pride, can you?" He pushed himself off of the tree. "I knew it was a fault to come to Sunnydale. Alright. You hurt me when you came to L.A., you hurt me more than you'll ever know. Are you happy now? Yes, you can hurt me. I'm a vampire, but my heart isn't as strong. Why did you do it? Why did you have to do this?," he shouted desperately. "I was fine. I was coping, somehow. But that wasn't good enough for your ego. You had to see I still cared, because you feel better now. Well, now you do." He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, the cold look was back: "You should go now, Buffy."

"No," she stepped closer. "I already told you I won't go. I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. I never realised I hurt you so much."

"You didn't care, Buffy. You realised it well. But you didn't care. All you care for is how much you're hurting, how you feel. When I came back from hell you punished me for what Angelus did," he raised his hand when he saw her trying to interrupt. "You did. Not intentionally maybe, well sometimes even that," he said remembering the time she'd asked him to play his demon. "I didn't know about the curse, when I lost my soul I couldn't do anything about it."

"I know, I know," she cried and tried to touch him, but he backed away.

Tiredly he continued: "You pushed me away from you again and again. And I felt so guilty I had nothing left to fight with. I had nothing to fight with you. Because my demon had hurt you so much, I couldn't do any more damage. So I finally realised that there wasn't an 'us' anymore. I just made the decision that you'd made eventually."

"No," she shook her head emphatically, "I never..."

"Bullshit, Buffy," he said sarcastically. "Of course you would've. You always believed you earned something beside slaying. Alright you didn't want to lose me, but not because it was me, only because of you. You didn't want to be alone. You're so afraid to be left alone you waited only a couple of months and found the next guy to comfort you. Don't try to deny it, Buffy. It's right here in your eyes."

"You're right," she whispered. "I was scared being alone. But I just realised you can also be alone with somebody. And you're also right, that I wanted to lash out on you. God, I saw you with her in your arms when I came to L.A. and something inside of me just snapped. I remembered the day I saw you kissing her in the mansion." When she saw him raise a brow she added. "Okay, so she was kissing you, but when it comes to relationships I'm very self-conscious. I don't trust myself."

He sighed: "Which just proves again, that you see the things only from your perspective. You know, I always tried to see it from your side, that's why I left. I did it for you. Maybe after a while I realised that it wasn't bad for me either. I began to develop my own personality, my own self-esteem and that's what you couldn't stand when you came to LA. The first and the second time, but mostly the second time. That I didn't need you anymore, that I wasn't your lap-dog anymore. Co-dependency isn't a healthy form of relationship." He laughed unhappily, "Sure there's truth in your words too, but why do you need to tell me?"

"Because I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose our friendship."

"Yes, *You* don't want to lose me. But what about me? Oh don't look like this, with surprise in your eyes that I did dare to think about myself."

"I didn't," she tried to interrupt but was silenced with a gesture of his hand.

"You aren't used to the new me. And besides Buffy, we've never been friends. Spike might be an idiot sometimes, but that night he said the truth."

"But you don't want us to be lovers," she shouted desperately. "You obviously prefer having sex with other women, sex without emotions, than being with me." She raised a hand: "I know, we cannot have sex, but you know what I mean."

"Actually, I don't," he replied. "But it doesn't even matter anymore. You've moved on, you're in love with Riley. Remember, you told me. So just leave me alone and go back to him."

"But I don't love him," she cried. "I thought I did, but I don't. God, Angel. This last year has all been a lie and I just realised it. I was so hurt when you left and I couldn't go on like this. I pretended - even to myself - everything was fine. But it isn't. Nothing's right anymore." She looked him deeply in his eyes, throwing all her pride out of the window: "I love you. I never stopped loving you. And about having sex with him just before. Cordelia told me about the women in your life and I just couldn't stand it. It hurt so much, so much..." her voice broke for a moment but then she got herself together again. "I needed to prove myself that I was alright with him. And you know what," she yelled, "I failed. I failed miserably. I've never felt so much like a shell. I love you. God, I'm so in love with you, I always was. Are you happy now?" She couldn't stop the tears anymore, heavy sobs were rocking her body and she embraced herself with her arms, trying to get a hold on herself.

"Oh god Buffy," with a groan he reached out and pulled her in his arms. "I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry. I..."

"Shhh," she made. "It's okay. Please be my friend, please don't push me away like this again."

He pulled away: "I don't want to be your friend, Buffy. I just can't."

"But..."

The first time he'd come to Sunnydale something like a smile crossed his features: "I love you. Don't you see that? I never stopped loving you. When you told me about your love for Riley, you ripped my heart out. It's not that I didn't expect you to move on, but you just threw it into my face and I couldn't cope." He took a deep breath: "I was drunk for more than a month after that. Finally Cordelia just threatened to move in with me, and having had experience with that it did the trick," he joked. When he saw her questioning gaze he added: "I'll tell you another time. For now let's just say I don't want to repeat that experience any time soon." He held her close and stroked her back. "And as if that hadn't been enough I saved a gypsy only three months after this and to pay me she restored my soul." He saw her eyes widen and smiled even more: "So you see. I finally had what I wanted, well parts of it, and could've been near you, but you were out of reach."

"Oh god, Angel," she embraced him tightly. "I'm so sorry. We both were idiots, weren't we? And on top of this I've hurt a good guy, by letting him fall in love with me."

"Shhh, love," he stroked her hair. "The most important thing is you realised it at all. You have to talk to him."

"I know," she sniffed. "Angel?"

"Hmmm?"

"What are we going to do with this? Us, I mean?"

"I don't know," he replied with a smile in his voice. "What do you want us to do?"

"All I know is that I don't let you go away from me again. Never again. I know you've to go back to L.A., but it isn't so far away and we can see each other on weekends and during breaks."

"If we stop the End of Days."

"And this," she sighed. "God, I hate this. Why it duty always interfering with my love life."

He laughed, happily, freely and it was the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard.

"I have to talk to Riley and I better do it now. He's at Lowell house."

"Should I better come with you?"

She shook her head: "No, that's something I have to do on my own. Could you ... just go back to Giles and wait for me?"

"Of course. I love you," he said again pulling away.

"I know," she smiled.

Chapter 10

Riley stood in front of his Frathouse in the dark. For quite some time he was staring into space thinking about what had happened only hours ago. She'd never been like this before, something was definitely wrong, the question was what. Buffy had never been so wild and demanding in bed before, she'd been almost desperate as if she'd to prove something. But what, he wondered when he saw her approaching him the very second. He smiled: "Hey. I was wondering where you went," he greeted her and took her in his arms. She went stiff but didn't pull away. "Is something wrong?"

"Riley," she swallowed hard and averted her eyes, "I really care for you," she began, but he interrupted her.

"Oh, oh, that doesn't sound good."

She laughed nervously: "We have to talk. It's about ... well about me and Angel. There's things you need to know."

"You both knew each other before," he replied with a smile. "Well that's obvious. I don't mind although I have problems seeing a hostile as an ally."

"He's more than an ally, Riley. Angel's always been a good friend," she hesitated for a moment and then added, "And he was even more for me?"

Rising a brow the commando looked at her, "What do you mean?"

She closed her eyes, "He was my first," she took a deep breath, "he was the first man I slept with."

"WHAT?," Riley almost jumped back. "You slept with a hostile?," he asked incredulously.

"Yes," she replied ignoring his reaction. "I loved him very much and ...," she hesitated again, "I still do." There she'd said it.

"You what?," he stared at her. "Buffy, this isn't funny."

"No," she said and looked at him, "I know. But it's the truth."

Silence.

For some minutes none of them said a word. Riley tried to digest what he'd been told and Buffy didn't dare to talk to him.

"Alright," he finally said. "So you ... love him. Still. Why did you two break up. You did break up?"

"That was low," she replied. "Yes we ... he ended it before my graduation from Highschool. He even left Sunnydale."

"Did you always love him?," he demanded, his voice rising now.

Tiredly she nodded: "Yes," she whispered, knowing how much he hurt right now.

"So this," he pointed at her and than at himself, "you and me. It was all a funny game for you?"

"No," she cried desperately. "Please believe me. I even thought I loved you."

"Oh, that's a relief," he let out a short breath. "God, how could I've been so damned stupid? I should've known the problem had never been Parker." He groaned, "I was such an idiot."

"Riley please," she pleaded and reached out for him but the stepped back.

"Don't touch me," he warned.

"I'm sorry," she rubbed her eyes, "really, really sorry. For pulling you into this, my twisted heart. My problems."

"Tell me," he asked. "What's changed? About Angel?"

"It isn't really important, but if you have to know. He was cursed by gypsies. They cursed him with his soul."

"You call that a curse? I'd say it's a blessing," he cut in.

"A blessing? God, Riley. Can you even imagine what the demon in his body did? And he had to carry all these pictures, all the memories. And you call that a blessing." She took a deep breath, "Anyway. This curse included a clause. It said that if he'd ever achieve true happiness he would lose his soul again. And when we ... well, that was the incidence. He lost his soul and wreaked havoc in Sunnydale for some months."

"Oh, and you let him get away with it?"

Buffy flinched. He'd hit a sour spot, but she wouldn't let him see her: "Actually I had to send him to hell."

He raised a brow: "You have to do better than that, I saw him just yesterday, remember."

"He came back," she replied with a sigh, not really liking the fact she'd to tell the whole story, but realising she owed him and explanation. "We still don't know how, but he did. But we knew we couldn't be together like ... like before and tried to stay away from each other. It didn't work. We got together again, but then he left. For my own good, as he said," she almost smiled saying this now, for the first time truly understanding what great sacrifice he'd made.

"And what changed?"

"He saved a gypsy and they altered the happiness clause part. So he can't lose his soul again. But Riley, I already decided it would end with us before I even knew it."

"You expect me to believe this," he gave her a disbelieving glance.

"I don't expect anything from you. You have a right to be angry. I just wanted to explain. And I'm really truly sorry."

"I can't really buy anything from this, can I?," he said his voice sounding as tired as her's now. "I don't want to see you again. Stay away from me."

"Riley..."

"No," he raised a hand. "Get away. I think you already did enough. I loved you, Buffy. I still love you. I love you so much, I even thought," he closed his eyes for a moment. "I believed you loved me too. And you never told me otherwise. You're just a slut, who doesn't even stop at a hostile. God, what could I expect from a girl that jumped Parker Abrams without a second thought."

"Don't do this. Don't end it like this, please," she said unhappily.

"You've no right to ask anything from me, Buffy. Don't come near me again and tell your new or old lover, he should stay away from here. We still hunt hostiles, soul or no soul makes no difference to me." With this he turned and left her on the stairs of his frathouse.

Chapter 11

When Angel came back to Giles' apartment, Willow looked at him: "Where's Buffy?"

Avoiding his eyes that would've given him away he replied: "She'd some business to take care of. She'll be here soon." He could feel Cordelia's eyes resting on him but he ignored it and went to the kitchen to get himself something to feed. When he had finish his meal he could already sense Buffy outside. Without a word he left the apartment again and met her in front of the door. One look at her face made him hug her tightly and so he just held her close. After a while he said: "It was hard."

She nodded at his chest: "He took it really badly and is hurting a lot."

"I can guess."

"The only excuse I have it that I didn't do anything intentionally, but it's no real help."

"I know," he replied planting a kiss on her head.

She pulled back a little and looked at him: "Yeah, I guess you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"We should go inside," he said after a while.

"I don't want to leave your arms," she sighed. "It's the most wonderful place on earth."

He smiled: "I remind you of that when the time comes. But for now we should really face them, if you can. We don't have to tell..."

"No, Angel. I'm so happy to have you back, I want to tell everybody. I will never again hide my feelings."

He kissed her deeply, then both joined their hands and entered the apartment.

Chapter 12

Riley slammed the door and went for the mirror and the hidden entrance of the lab. Forrest slipped into the elevator behind him and grinned: "No big date tonight?," he asked and then grimaced: "Oh, something wrong with the happy couple?"

"Shut up," the blonde commando spat back.

"Sorry," the black man raised his hands in defense. "What did Summers do?"

"It's none of your damned business," Riley snapped. He wasn't in the mood to discuss his no-more-existing love-life with his friend. Inwardly he was fuming. It was like walking in a nightmare. She'd just broken up with him. For a hostile! A hostile! He turned towards Forrest again: "What would you do, I mean just in theory of course, if your girlfriend would tell you she's dating a vampire?"

"That's ridiculous Riley. A hostile wouldn't date anyone. They just kill people," the black man shook his head. His friend had it bad for Summers and whatever happened it had obviously clouded his mind.

"This isn't the average vampire. This one has a soul or so she told me. He's one of the good guys. What I want to know is, would you've problems killing him or getting him down here?" They stepped out of the elevator and made their way to the cells.

"You still talk about a fictive case, right?" When he saw Riley nod he continued, knowing exactly this wasn't fiction at all, "Well, I wouldn't care about a soul or not. Was he always good?"

"No."

"So he killed people. More than one cause for death." Forrest stopped and looked at his friend for a moment. "Summers is really dating a vampire? Wow! That's ... I don't even know what to say."

"Save your comments. I have to deal with this. She used me, used me for over a year and I'm not letting her out like this." He snapped his fingers. "Bye and have a good fuck with your vampire. Oh no, not with me."

"Riley, she isn't worth it. I always thought..."

"I know what you thought, but stay out of it. I don't want to hear it." He turned and went down the long hallway. Forrest watched him go and sighed. He'd always known it. This blonde chick wasn't good for his friend.

*****

Cordelia was - no wonder - the first to notice the lovers' entwined hands when slayer and vampire entered the apartment. Grinning she got up and went over to the couple, hugging Angel tightly and then even Buffy who grinned as well: "I'm so glad." Then she bent over to the slayer and whispered, "If you hurt him again I'm going to stake you, understood?"

A look of understanding passed between both girls.

"Uhm guys, what's going on with you?" Willow stepped forward and eyed Angel and Buffy closely.

Taking pity with the lovers Cordelia sighed loudly, "What do you all think this looks like? They're back together." She turned to look at Buffy who smiled and mouthed 'thank you'. Then the brunette turned towards Angel to mouth herself 'you owe me for this'. The slayer could see him rolling his eyes in response and silently sighing. A little giggle escaped her mouth. He really needed to tell her more about the new Cordelia.

"What?," Willow looked at her friend in disbelief. "You're what?"

Buffy nodded, "Yes. we ... well we still have to work out some things but in a nutshell it's true. We're back together."

Giles came out of his kitchen, "Well, as glad as I am for you and I'm certainly not going to miss Riley, but do you realise the danger?"

"That isn't an issue anymore," Angel replied wrapping an arm around his girlfriend's waist. It felt good, thinking about her as his girlfriend again.

"What do you mean?," the former watcher wasn't completely convinced.

"The curse was altered," the vampire explained. "The happiness clause was cut out."

"I see," Giles rubbed his glasses and put them back on his nose. "You're sure?"

"Yes," Angel replied. "As sure as we can be without testing it." Seeing Cordelia raise her brows at this he shook his head slightly.

Surprisingly for everyone Xander came over and grinned, "I cannot believe I say this now, but it's okay I think." His gaze wandered to Anya, "Experience just changes your point of view." He looked around and when he noticed everyone was staring at him he shrugged, "What? Hey I admit I had my problems with Dead Boy, but what makes the slayer happy makes me happy. I'm a friend."

Buffy grinned and exchanged a look with Angel who was silently discussing if this Xander was maybe a clone. Then he smiled as well.

"Hey I think it's actually good news," a new voice came from the stairs. They turned around. "I never had any experience with Angel, but that GI-Joe-imitation was a loser." Faith crossed her arms and rested her eyes more on Angel than on Buffy.

"Good to see you," he greeted her.

"Yeah," she replied. "You're probably the only one who says this."

"Faith..." Giles began, but the brunette slayer raised her hand.

"No, it's okay. I know I only was called because of this emergency. I can live with it," looking at Angel she added, "I do have real friends. People who care for me." She suddenly shrugged and grinned, "Well not exactly people, but friends nevertheless."

"But Buffy, what about Riley?" Willow had a sad look on her face. "I mean, did you tell him?"

"Yes, I did," the slayer replied. "Just before. It wasn't fun, but I had to do it. And ... I already decided it before we even got back together. I cannot pretend loving him. It's not fair, for none of us. Willow, are you not happy for me?"

"I," the witch sighed. "It's just, he broke your heart." She looked at Angel, "It's not that I won't be supportive, but she was okay, you know. With her new life and I don't want her heart to be broken again."

"But Willow don't you understand? I never felt whole without him," Buffy tried to explain.

"Oh get over yourself Willow," Cordelia suddenly cut it. "I think you should try to see the things from both sides and if it's about breaking hearts I think they're more than even." Then she leaned towards Buffy again and whispered, "And about the woman, they weren't really important and not as many as I told you. Maybe three or four." She smiled sheepishly, while Angel who'd been the only to hear it beside Buffy shot her a look.

"It's okay Cordy," the slayer grinned. "We talked about it."

"Talked about what?," Willow was confused.

"Nothing," Buffy sighed. "Guys. Can we finish the interrogation thing now. Angel and I are back together. The clause is a non-issue. Period. Accept it. This isn't a matter for discussion." When she saw everyone staring at her, she threw her hands in the air, "Okay so maybe I learned not always to listen to everybody. This is my life." She could feel Angel's arm tighten around her waist and when she looked at him she saw him smiling proudly. "So what about research now? Any more news about this Gabriel-fellow?"

Sitting down she caught an approving look of Cordelia's and saw Spike grinning in the corner. Surprisingly he hadn't said a word so far. Leaning her shoulder at Angel's shoulder she felt good. She'd taken a turn in her life and she liked it.The gang was diving into books again and seemed comfortable and she remembered a quote of her grand-mother. 'Just do what you think is right. Don't try to make it right for everybody. The people accepting your decisions are your true friends. The others aren't really needed.' Buffy suddenly knew what she meant and how right she was. She sighed and exchanged a smile with the vampire by her side. It felt so good to be near him again although they had still issues to discuss and a nasty battle ahead she hadn't felt that optimistic for a long time.

That was until Spike suddenly said, "By the way slayer. What did Joyce say about this?"

Chapter 13

Gabriel leaned back against the wall in the mansion. Dru was standing at the opposite end of the hall. She was beautiful, he thought, with her dark hair and the far-away look in her eyes. He had remembered her from his encounters with Angelus back in Europe all those years ago, she was really wasted on William's side. Angelus, he thought. What a vicious, evil creature he had been and what powerful ally he would be. And then these stupid gypies had to go and curse him with a soul.

He'd gone soft afterwards, so Gabriel had been told. He still couldn't believe it. He could clearly see the other vampire's sadistic smile, his strength and the power radiating from him. Angelus had been torturing people, preferably women. The way he made Drusilla a vampire was a legend already.

The dark-haired vampiress was coming towards him the very same moment, "Gabriel, I love feeling the power and the evilness coming from you."

"Thanks," he replied laughing. "That's the best compliment my beauty."

She rolled her eyes and threw her head back laughing as well, "Are you attracted to me, my friend?"

God she was so damned attractive and now she did even seem to have a wake moment. He took a strand of her hair and played with it, "You can bet I am."

"Spike loved me," she said with a smile, "but then he sided with the slayer." Her face became hard. "The slayer," she spat. "She took my Spike and my Angel. Promise you kill her. Kill her for me."

Gabriel laughed again, "It'll be my pleasure. And then I'll wrap her into paper and bring her to you as a gift."

"Oh yummy," Dru began to jump up and down. "Goodie."

The tall blond vampire cupped her chin with one of his hands, "But I want a gift too."

*****

Buffy glared at Spike and he began to laugh, "So you haven't told her luv."

"Although it's none of your business. No, I haven't, but only because I haven't seen her so far. Besides I'm a legal adult and don't need mommy's approvement either."

"But Buffy..."

"For God's sake Willow," Buffy groaned, "I will tell her. But not today. Okay?" Then she turned at Giles, "So what's the plan for tonight?"

"I go on patrol," Faith said with a grin at Angel and was out of the door before someone could stop her.

"Well, that was ... unexpected," Buffy had to grin as well. "She really seems your friend," she joked and playfully punched her boyfriend on the stomach.

He grinned, "Well, that or we are damned predictive."

On seeing the confused expression of the others (except Cordelia who was grinning widely), the slayer asked, "Giles?"

"Oh, right. Well, research mostly. Why?"

"Hmmm... as I already told you, I'm not really research girl and Angel could need a rest," she said with a straight face.

"Well ... if you say it that way," Giles looked at he confused.

Buffy gave him a sweet smile and stood up, "Exactly the words I wanted to hear from you." She pulled at Angel's hand so that he stood as well, "See you guys tomorrow then." With this the two turned towards the door and they heard Xander behind them.

"Oh I see a lot of sleep in that scenario ... oh, Willow that hurt! Stop hitting me."

And Anya added, "Can we go too Xander?"

Chapter 14

By the time Angel and Buffy left the apartment complex Riley sat in his car and watched them. They were laughing and he recognized his ex-girlfriend's small frame at once. She took the hand of the man and pulled him with her, running and jumping in the air out of pure joy.

Riley inhaled sharply. The other person was the vampire. He pulled Buffy back, embraced her and soon they were kissing passionately only to laugh and run again. They were the very image of a couple in love. The commando started the ignition to follow them slowly. They made their way to the dorm. Although it was Christmas break already some of the students were still staying there.

They stopped again in front of the door and kissed. He could see the kiss becoming more and more heated, he saw Buffy starting to unbutton the vampire's shirt and his hands ... Riley groaned ... they were all over her.

He closed his eyes in agony.

When he opened them again they were gone. Riley's breath was fast and sharp. It was as if he was in shock, he could feel the anger boiling inside him, the hate growing against a hostile who was depriving him of his girlfriend.

He leaned back in his seat and tried to think. Then from the corner of his eye he saw his cell phone laying beside him.

*****

Buffy and Angel reached the room only the last possible minute. At that point Angel's shirt was completely torn, impatiently the slayer had just ripped it open and his belt was hanging loosely. They fell on the bed laughing.

The vampire rained kissed all over her face, his lips wandered down her neckline, to her throat and then to her breasts and her belly, kissing and nibbling through the fine fabric that still separated their bodies.

The slayer felt shivers run all over her spine. She loved him, oh how much she loved this man. It felt so right, being together body and soul, feeling whole at last. She felt her body arching aching against him and little cries of pleasure escaped her mouth. She didn't even realise she was already naked. When he finally entered her it was like discovering paradise again and when they reached the climax together both cried out each others names.

Angel didn't move. His head was still laying on her chest. She breathed heavily and her body was covered with sweat. Slowly he raised his head and their eyes locked. Both had tears shining in them but the expression was one of pure love and happiness.

Buffy gently touched his cheek, "Angel," she whispered.

"I know," he replied. "This is so right."

"Yes," she replied with a smile. "So right." She felt him already hard inside of her again and for many more minutes they didn't speak.

Finally he rolled aside and pulled her with him, so that her head rested on his chest. "Do you know that just some days ago I was wondering why I never thought about making love when I had sex with Riley. Now I know."

Angel kissed the top of her head, "I know too. The other women ...," he hesitated for a moment, but then continued, "It wasn't what you think. I only wanted to prove myself that I was happy without you." He grimaced, "And failed as miserably as you did. But when you told me you loved him..."

"Shhh," she interrupted him. "Don't talk about it again. I really hate me for saying it at all. Besides," she sighed, "it was a lie. Even then."

"You're right. We should think about tomorrow, not dwell on yesterday."

"Speaking of tomorrow," she sighed again, "I do need to tell my mother. Not that I care if she's okay with it or not, but she should at least know."

"She won't be pleased," Angel said his voice sounding grave.

"I know," she raised her head and planted a kiss on his chin. "But I can live with it. She never really accepted the way I am. My duty, you and many more things. She still thinks a slayer can have a family and a happy nice suburban life."

"I think she's only afraid something's going to happen to you. She desperately tries to protect your innocence and I don't mean the innocence of flesh," he grinned slightly. "She's never realised that you've already seen more than she ever will."

"Her dreams don't include slaying," Buffy began to draw patterns with her finger on Angel's chest. "Her little girl should be a nice wife and mother, have a pet and a picket fence and visit Granny on Sundays for tea and cake."

Angel was serious all of a sudden, "You know these were some of the reasons I left," he admitted. "But somehow I don't care anymore," he sighed. "I became selfish."

"I like you being selfish if that means I get you back," she grinned. "Don't you dare going all selfless again. You're the best thing that ever happened in my life. You're the only person in the world who really understands me. Kendra never could, she was so wrapped up in slaying and never had a chance to experience a kind of normal life. Faith on the other hand," she sighed.

"She's okay, Buffy. You should give her a chance," he said seriously.

"She likes you. I think she feels for you like she would for a brother and Cordelia does too," she said after a while. "Cordy's changed."

"Oh yeah," he grinned. "But she's still Cordelia. She's good for keeping me on the earth. Doyle once said she was very real and he was true."

"I'm sorry he died," the slayer said gently. "He was your friend."

"Yes. He was. Kind of at least. We didn't really have time to be friends but I suppose we would've been," he kissed her again, "he's at peace now." She yawned and Angel laughed, "You're tired and should sleep now."

"You promise you'll be there in the morning?" she said with a sudden fear in her voice.

"I promise," he whispered and kissed her forehead, "and now sleep."

Chapter 15

Gabriel looked up from his spot on the large bed to gaze into Dru's face. She was a pretty girl and had certainly her qualities in bed, which wouldn't be a surprise with her amount of experience. She was till asleep. He had to laugh at the little red holes in her neck - she loved being bitten, it drove her wild. He could remember her crying out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. She was crying out Angel's name climaxing but Gabriel didn't mind. They used each other for fun, nothing else. They were the perfect couple for a while. She had also told him about Spike.

And Gabriel thought about the little, blonde slayer. Angelus' toy. He had watched them yesterday - kissing and joking. He crossed his hands under his head and stared on the ceiling. Oh yes, it would be fun with them.

*****

Buffy woke with a start. Her first move was to reach out for Angel and she sighed in relief when her hand fell on his chest. Looking up to him she saw him stirring the same moment. Opening his eyes his smiled, "Good morning."

"Good morning," she smiled back and looked at the clock, "Or good day. God, we've been obviously tired."

He grinned, "Well, we didn't sleep all the time."

"No, not exactly," she replied with a twinkle. "I don't want to, but I have to get up and see Giles. And thank Willow for giving us some privacy."

"We should think about a present," he joked.

"You'll stay here until sunset."

"I'm stuck here," he replied.

"Yeah. I like that. My own personal love-slave waiting for me," she bit her lower lip to suppress a grin.

"I bet you like it," he kissed her.

She laughed out loud and rolled out of the bed, feeling his eyes resting on her while she went to the bathroom. In the door she turned, "Join me?"

****

An hour and lots of wrinkly skin later both came out of the shower. Buffy handed Angel a towel and wrapped herself in a large fluffy one. He embraced her from behind, kissing her neck gently. The slayer closed her eyes and sighed. She felt like in heaven. This had to be heaven or even paradise. She turned to kiss him properly. He pulled away after a while and smiled, "You cannot imagine how good this feels."

"But I can."

Both laughed and were about to kiss again when a loud knock on the door interrupted them. Blowing him a kiss the slayer took her bathrobe and turned to answer the door.

When she saw who stood there a gasp escaped her mouth. Angel heard it but an inner voice told him to stay where he was. How right this had been, he realised when he heard his love exclaim, "Mom!"

Then the door was shut again. Buffy looked at her mother, "What are you doing here? Did anything happen?"

Without even greeting her daughter, Joyce began, "I got a phone call this morning."

"A phone call?," the slayer was lost.

Her mother nodded, "From your boyfriend. You remember him, right? Oh, Buffy," Joyce sighed, "what did you do to the poor boy?"

"What did he say?" her daughter asked with barely hidden anger in her voice.

"He told me you broke up with him. Buffy, he was so desperate. He loves you so much. How could you hurt him like this?"

"I cannot believe he called *you*," the slayer began to pace, "He called you to whine in your ear. God, and I felt bad about dumping him."

"And you should," Joyce cut in.

"At the moment I feel the sudden urge to hit him. I'm glad I got rid of him. And when I get to think about it, this makes everything so much easier." She stopped pacing and put her hands at her hips, facing her mother again.

Anger was in Joyce's eyes when she said, "But you were happy, Buffy. What changed?"

"Happy?," the slayer threw her hands in the air and then sighed, "Yeah, maybe it might have looked like. But I never was. As a matter of fact I was emotionally so dead, I didn't even realise it myself. Do you call that happy?"

Mrs. Summers eyes were dark with anger now, "What are you saying? This is complete nonsense. Riley told me he had a feeling you weren't completely yourself when you broke up with him and I think he was right."

"What?," Buffy couldn't believe it. She should've guessed her mother would act like this, still it was hard to accept she did take Riley's side.

"Buffy, I really thought when this vampire finally left you'd find some peace. But he's still behind all this. He ruined all your trust in men."

"Mom, don't," her daughter warned.

But Joyce couldn't stop anymore, "I really thought when I made him leave everything would be fine, but he still haunts you."

The slayer stumbled backwards until she felt the wall supporting her. Her eyes were wide, disbelieving, her voice was barely a whisper, "What did you do?"

"I told him to leave," her mother said almost proudly, "Shortly before your prom I went to see him and was quite relieved he seemed to understand my doubts - I've got to give him credit for that. But Buffy, he was never right for you. He's a vampire, he's a creature of darkness, fear and death."

Buffy only shook her head. Only piece by piece she could proceed the words. Was this really her mother standing before her, smiling. The thoughts were running wild in her mind. Everything fell into place now. Angel had been so caring all the time after coming back from hell and then out of the blue he'd broken up with her. She felt nausea rising in her stomach and suppressed the urge to vomit. What torture it must have been for Angel to hear these words. And this person in front of her, who claimed herself as her loving mother, inflicted all this pain on him.

Buffy took a deep breath and looked straight into her mother's eyes, "Angel, do come out here."

She could see her mother's head turning around immediately and when she saw the vampire stepping out of the bathroom only with a towel around his waist she let out a strangled cry. The slayer held a hand out and Angel took it at once. "This," she looked at her mother again, "is the man I love, mom. The man I've always loved, the man who loves me. He makes me feel whole and alive and he's the light in my life. And now I want you to leave and never come back."

Angel gazed at her and tried to say something but was silenced by her eyes. So he turned back to Joyce who looked at her daughter in anger, "So he's the reason of all this. Again. You threw everything away for him."

Buffy sighed, "No, you don't understand. I didn't throw anything away. He brought everything back to me. He saved my live, not literally, but in the most important sense. He brought back the real Buffy, the one who had lost herself in lies about that oh-so-normal life everyone wanted for me. But this all doesn't matter anymore, you see. I really don't care what you think about us, if you approve of our relationship or not. I'm over 18, so decide whatever you want to do or not."

Mrs. Summers turned to Angel, "So you see now, she's not able to make a reasonable decision. Why on earth did you come back?"

"Mrs. Summers, Buffy's capable of every reasonable decision. I'm very sorry you can't see it. And I will never forgive myself for being as blind as you for a long time. She's a very mature woman and you should be proud of her. She had to save the world, her friends ... even me ... so often. She faced death more often you can imagine. She had to make hard decisions. She's always been so strong. And why I came back? Because Giles asked me to come, it was meant to be pure business, it was never meant to end like this, but that it did should tell you."

"Tell me what?" Joyce spat.

"That it was just meant to be. When you came to me all those years ago I was only too eager to listen to you because doubts were nearly eating me up. Doubts that I wasn't good enough for her. And I felt guilty for all the pain I had inflicted on her after loosing my soul. But it's over. I thought I'd leave her to a better life and I wanted it for her. But when I saw her again I realised she needs me as much as I need her. I will not leave her again. It's up to you to make your own decisions now."

Joyce shot both lovers a look, then turned and slammed to door behind her.

When Angel gazed at Buffy he saw tears running down her face and concerned he said, "I'm sorry."

But she shook her head, "No, God, Angel. I'm not crying because of my mother. I gave her up a long time ago. She'll never understand my life. Never. I just cry because it was so wonderful to hear these words from you."

He smiled, "You're welcome."

She nodded and kissed him, "Okay. This is over now. I really have to go and see Giles. And there's another problem, Angel. We do not have a place to stay after tomorrow. The dorm will close for the break then."

"We could use my old apartment," he suggested, "but I would understand if you rather not..."

"The old apartment," she said dreamily, "that's just perfect. I cannot believe you still have it."

"I own the building," he admitted sheepishly.

"You what?," Buffy gasped.

"Yes, well," he looked to the ground and then back into her eyes, "you see over the years I ... it's not that I'm loaded or anything, but I'm financially quite settled. So I kept the apartment. After coming back from hell, I didn't go back because ... well, the memories, you know. But it's still there."

She shook her head and laughed, "You seem full of surprises."

"Well, so if you would ... like ... I mean, oh hell, would you like to move in with me? You could stay there whenever ... umph."

He was interrupted when slayer launched herself at him and embraced him tightly. "Yes, oh yes. Of course I want that." She beamed at him when she pulled back.

"And there's something else," he said. "Something I want to give you back." He walked over where his trousers lay and reached into the pocket. Then he came back and sat down on the bed. Buffy did the same. He opened his hand and smiled, "I kept them all the time. Do you want yours back?"

She gasped, "The rings. Our rings," again tears were welling up in her eyes, "Where did you find mine?," she took it and put it back on her finger.

"It was right under my body, when I came back from hell. And I kept it -- just in case," he smiled sheepishly and Buffy decided she'd loved him more. She kissed his hand with the ring on it much the same way she'd done it a long time ago.

"I love you Angel. This is ... forever?"

"Forever," he nodded and sealed the promise with a kiss.

Chapter 16

When Buffy entered Giles' apartment the former watcher was amazed by the energy radiating from her. She seemed completely different from the girl that had left here last night. He smiled inwardly and sighed, he knew only too well what love could do to a person. Unconsciously his thoughts were filled with Jenny and their time together, a very precious time, too short, but he wouldn't have missed it for the world. When he came back from the kitchen he found her sitting, legs crossed, and talking to Cordelia who had spent the night at Giles' apartment as well. In fact she'd been the one who'd convinced Willow to stay with Tara for the night.

When she saw Giles looking at her, Buffy smiled, "Now Giles, any news for the slayer?"

"It seems Angel was right," he replied. "Gabriel is accompanied by two witches. And he and Drusilla seem ... well ... er ... very close." He blushed and the two girls on the sofa grinned.

"Is it because you are British or why are you so uncomfortable talking about a certain subject," Cordelia bit her lower lip to prevent herself from laughing out loud. "You were growing up with the sexual revolution, weren't you?"

He ignored her comment and went on, "Faith saw them on patrol."

"And had great fun in telling him," the brunette slayer descended from the stairs. "He blushes quite easily." She grinned now as well.

"I'm glad you see me as a source for amusement, but the situation is anything but funny."

"Oh Giles," Buffy stood up and punched Giles playfully. "We love you, you know that."

He smiled, "Yes." Then he sighed, "How's Angel by the way?"

The slayer blushed slightly, "Fine. Talking about vampires, where's this annoying blonde one who's living around here?"

"Out," Faith replied with a grin. "When I came with the news yesterday he disappeared with a two bottles of finest port in the bathroom.

"Poor Spike," Buffy looked at her sister-slayer. "Faith, I..."

The brunette raised her hand, "It's okay, you don't have to say anything. We can talk when this is over."

The blonde nodded, "Alright. But," she cleared her throat, "well, I talked to Angel about you. I just wanted to tell you that I trust you."

Faith felt her eyes watering and quickly turned around. "Thanks," she replied hoarsely.

"Oh there's something else," Cordelia turned her gaze from the brunette slayer towards Buffy. "We had a late-night visit."

"Huh?"

"Your ex appeared."

"Riley?," the slayer asked incredulously.

"I hope there aren't any other exes? Buffy you're really shocking me," Cordelia mocked.

The blonde made a gesture with her hand, "No, sorry. Why?"

"He was very angry," Giles explained. "And confused. He wanted to know more about you and Angel. Of course none of us said anything."

The slayer sighed, "He called my mom this morning. As a result she stood in front of my door this morning."

"This doesn't sound too good," Cordelia guessed.

"Only too true," Buffy sighed again and then suddenly giggled, "especially after seeing Angel only wrapped in a towel."

Cordelia and Faith laughed.

"So your mother didn't take it well?," Giles wanted to know. "What are you doing about it?"

"Nothing," Buffy shrugged, "I've long given up on her. She'll never accept my relationship with Angel. Or what it means to be a slayer or what it means to be me," she sighed again and realised she did it often today. "But now she knows I'm not 16 anymore. Nobody has a right to run my life for me."

Her former watcher laid a hand on her shoulder, "I'm very sorry."

"It's okay, I'll live."

He took a deep breath, "Alright. Back to Gabriel then. About the two witches. Not surprisingly Anya knew about them, although she took her time to tell us," he rolled his eyes, "she says they're very strong. And I should tell you that I think that Salem night will be exactly on Christmas, the day after tomorrow."

"That means action for Faith, Angel and moi?"

"I'm going too," came a voice from the stairs. Spike didn't look good, he was the picture of a man or repectably a vampire with a hangover. The girls had difficulties to keep straight faces.

"Thanks for the offer," the slayer replied. "But I don't think it's a good idea. You've a personal interest in this."

"Damned right, I do. So I'm coming. If not with you then I'll go alone."

Buffy raised a hand, "Alright, okay so we're four. What about Willow and Tara?"

"They'll be here in an hour," Giles informed her, "They're preparing some spells and get the ingredients on the way."

The slayer sighed again, and looked out of the window. The day after tomorrow. She would get through this, she just had to. Nothing would keep her from a new life with Angel. Nothing.

*******

Shortly after sunset Angel was ready to leave for Giles' when he heard a knock on the door. When he opened he was looking into Riley's face, whose eyes were full of rage. In his right hand he held a loaded crossbow that was exactly pointing at the vampire's heart.

He grinned, "Hello Angel."

Chapter 17

Angel raised a brow and looked at the enraged commando standing before him, but he didn't say a word.

"I bet you didn't expect me?" Riley smirked. Then he motioned with his crossbow, "Won't you invite me in?" he asked. "Although I'm not really a stranger in here. Do you want to know how often Buffy and I did it in her bed?"

The vampire sighed and stepped aside, the blonde man shut the door with his foot. "Move over there," he motioned towards the bathroom door and then sat himself on Buffy's bed. "Do you like the scent of her as much as I do?" He shrugged, "I bet you do. Men are crazy about her. She drives me wild. Just yesterday...," he trailed off and smirked again obviously expecting Angel to flinch. But nothing happened. The vampire only kept studying the commando's face. "I have to say that your self-discipline is something to admire," Riley went on. "I think I would already punch your nose if I was in your place."

A faint smile crossed Angel's features, "Maybe I'm just not like you," he only replied.

Riley nodded, "I'm very glad you see that. And I used to have Buffy. Do you feel proud about stealing my girlfriend?"

"No. But only for the record. I didn't steal her. It was over between the two of you before we both got back together," he said quietly.

"That's a lie," the commando shouted. "We made love yesterday afternoon. And then only some hours later she tells me she's with you."

"Did she?" the vampire raised a brow.

"Well, she said she was in love with you. Still," Riley admitted.

"And that's the truth," Angel replied. "And I'm in love with her."

"Oh, that's so sweet, it makes we wanna gag. A slayer and a vampire, fucking."

"I never saw it that way, you know." The vampire crossed his arms and leaned back to the wall. "Why are you doing this?"

"What?"

"This," Angel nodded pointedly at the crossbow. "And why are you insulting the girl you say you love? You're talking of her as if she's something to trade between us. But she's a person, Riley. And as a person she decided to be with me. Why is that a problem for you?"

Riley only stared at the vampire. He didn't know what he'd expected meeting him privately, but certainly not that kind of discussion. "I love her," he finally admitted.

Angel nodded, "I can understand that, because I love her too." He smiled, "Actually it's always been difficult for me to imagine that a man would not immediately fall in love with her. I even was jealous of Xander at one point." He had to laugh at the memory.

"You aren't afraid of me," Riley said in wonder, lowering his crossbow.

"Riley," Angel said raising a brow, "If I'd intended to you'd been dead the moment you appeared in the door. I'm a very old vampire, I guess you never met someone nearly as old as I am. I'm very fast."

The phone rang but both ignored it.

"You think?" Riley smirked and raised the crossbow again. This arrogant behaviour was more what he'd expected.

The vampire rolled his eyes and sighed. And then with lightning speed he jumped forward and grabbed the weapon from Riley's hand. A stunned expression on his face the commando could only stammer, "You're ... f-fast indeed."

Angel deposed the crossbow on Willow's bed and watched the human. "Now. As you know that, maybe we can continue this conversation in a more civilized style."

*****

When Willow, Xander, Anya and Tara entered Giles' apartment they found a pacing Buffy there.

"Uhm, hey," the read-head greeted her friend.

The slayer's head snapped around, "Did you see Angel?" the concern in her voice was evident.

"No," Xander shook his head in confusion. "Why?" Then he grinned, "He didn't run away again, did he?"

"That's not funny," Cordelia snapped. "He should've been here for a while. We tried Buffy's room, but there's now answer."

"Buffy, Angel can take care of himself. Maybe something came up," Willow tried to comfort the slayer.

The blonde nodded absentmindedly but continued to pace. The horrible feeling that there was something deeply wrong wouldn't go away. Biting her lower lip she asked, "Where's Wesley?"

"He drove to LA to get some of Angel's books," Cordelia explained. "He'll be back tonight."

Buffy stopped suddenly and sat herself beside the former cheerleader on the sofa. "I'll kill him when he finally appears."

The others grinned but somehow none of them could pretend everything was alright.

*****

"A conversation?" Riley shook his head and got up. "Why should I talk to you? A hostile. You aren't worth breathing the same air as she does. Oh sorry, I forgot. You don't breathe."

Angel sighed. This was leading nowhere, "I see you won't talk to me. So I'll just leave." He shook his head, "Buffy never wanted to hurt you." With a last look at the commando he left the room.

Walking down the path in front of the dorm Angel could feel Riley's eyes burning in his back. The vampire was almost out of sight when he suddenly noticed a noise behind him. Only the last possible second he jumped.

*****

An hour later Buffy was ready to kill. Literally. She had tried to call Angel again and again. Cordelia had tried the cell phone. Nothing.

The slayer jumped up, "I'll go and look for him. Faith," she looked at the other slayer, "Can you patrol for me?"

"Sure," Faith nodded and then laid a hand on Buffy's shoulder, "Don't worry. He'll be back soon."

The same moment the door of Giles' apartments was slammed open and Wesley shouted, "Can anyone please help?"

Buffy ran towards the door and nearly fainted. There was Wesley and he was supporting Angel, who was almost unconscious. His right arm was around the former watcher's shoulders who tried to keep him upright. Angel's shirt was soaked wet and when the slayer touched it, she realised it was blood. When he felt the touch his eyes flickered open, "Buffy," he whispered and then passed out.

Chapter 18

When Angel opened his eyes again he found himself lying on something soft. Soon he realised it was Giles' bed. A sharp pain of memory flashed through him, remembering how his demon had arranged Jenny here.

"Angel?"

He turned his head and saw Buffy sitting beside him, Willow stood at the end of the bed, both wearing the same concerned expression on their faces.

"Buffy," he replied, his voice hoarse.

"You're back," she smiled, but he could see the shades of worry in her eyes. "How do you feel?"

The vampire looked down at himself and realised he was shirtless. Instead there was a thick bandage around his chest. He raised his hand and touched Buffy's cheek, "I'm fine. It isn't even hurting very much."

She nodded and asked, "Can you tell us what happened."

His gaze flickered to Willow for a moment and then back to his girlfriend, "I was shot. With a crossbow."

Both girls gasped. "Did you pull out the arrow?," the witch wanted to know.

"Yes," he tried to get his upper body into an upright position and groaned a little.

"Who?" was all the slayer asked, her face was hard.

"Buffy," he tried to calm her.

"No, I want to know," she insisted.

"I'm not absolutely sure," he said after a moment. "But," he took a deep breath, "it might have been Riley."

All colour drained from Buffy's face. She'd never felt so ill before. Locking eyes with Angel, she whispered, "Riley?"

He squeezed her hand, "I'm not hundred percent sure. I was about to leave when he stood in front of your door, with a crossbow." He sighed, "I tried to talk to him, but he was too stubborn." He looked at Willow for a moment then back at Buffy, "I disarmed him and still he wouldn't talk. So I thought it was better to leave. I was almost out of sight when I heard the arrow."

Her hand in front of her mouth her voice trembled, "Oh god, Angel. He tried to kill you."

"Hey, I'm fine," he pulled her to him, comforting her by stroking her hair. "Shhh, this is nothing, Buffy. Ask Cordelia."

"He's right," the brunette had just appeared in the door. "Pullling out bullets out of his flesh is like a daily routine for me," she said with a grin. "And then all the stab wounds, the bruises..."

"Thank you Cordelia," Angel cut her off. "I think we got the picture."

"You're welcome. How do you feel?" now there was concern in her voice.

"Fine," he gave Cordelia and Willow a pointed look and they both left the room.

"Buffy," Angel put a finger under her chin. "I'm going to be okay."

"I know," she sniffed, "but only because you've very quick reflexes and vampire hearing - otherwise..." She started crying again. The thought of loosing him again was too much to bear. She didn't even want to begin to imagine it. And now he had been wounded. She could clearly remember Giles' shock when they saw the wound was only an inch to the heart. Slowly she raised her head again, "I never thought him capable of something like that. He knows you, he knows you're not an ordinary vampire, he even knows about your soul. I told him everything."

"It seems your breakup is harder for him than you thought. He's really hurt, I could tell."

"He could be a real danger for Angel's life," Giles said from the doorway. And to the vampire he added, "Glad you're feeling better. She was really worried you know," he nodded towards the slayer who was wiping her face with one hand. The former watcher handed her a cleenex he'd brought with him.

"What do you mean?," Buffy asked confused. When she saw the two men exchanging glances she added more forcefully, "What?"

"Well," Giles didn't like that at all, "he failed once. We don't know how his feelings are. But he could try it again."

******

When Giles came back down Willow had already informed the others about the events of the evening.

"This bloody bastard," Spike shouted, all of a sudden feeling every drop of blood he shared with his grand-sire. "First planting chips into an innocent vampire's head and now this."

"I still can't believe it. He was always so nice," Willow leaned her head at Tara's shoulder.

"Nice," Cordelia echoed, "Well then I refuse to see him in an angry state."

"Fishboy is not only annoying, he's obviously lost his marbles now as well. Maybe it's a slayer thing, after all Angel reacted pretty much the same at a certain point." Xander was silenced when Willow hit him on his head. Hard. Even Anya shook her head in disbelief.

"This sucks," Faith punched her right fist into her left palm. "I'd like to have him right here in front of me."

"Now, now, maybe we should all try to calm down," Giles looked around. "The more important question is, what are we going to do about him. We're going to have problems tomorrow night if there's this threat always hanging above us. Angel agrees that he might try it again. Besides the fact that he might hurt Angel again, Buffy will not be able to concentrate on a battle when his life is in danger."

Everyone nodded.

"So - what are we going to do?," Willow gazed from one to the next. "We cannot go to the police."

"No, of course not. He shot a person, who isn't even really alive," Giles sighed.

"Why don't we just catch him and take him prisoner for a while?" Faith suggested.

"I could be his guard and it wouldn't cost you a penny," Spike said with a smirk.

"Sounds very tempting, but we cannot do it," Wesley exchanged a glance with Giles who nodded.

"Why? I just go and get him," the brunette slayer said with a shrug.

"Faith," Wesley said with a sigh, "he's a human being. We cannot just go and kidnap him."

"He's an evil demon hunting commando," Anya spoke for the first time. "I wouldn't mind holding him prisoner for a while."

"Honey," Xander laid a hand on his girlfriend's arm, "you're not a demon anymore."

"And?" she shrugged, "that doesn't mean I'm not feeling with them anymore. Seeing Angel as an average vampire is the same as thinking I'm still a vengance demon. I say get him." She nodded to emphasise her statement, while her boyfriend glanced at her in sudden amazement.

"Absolutely right," Faith turned towards Giles again. "And it'll be easy. He's just human, okay so he's a bit stronger but he won't be a match for a slayer. We put him somewhere safe and let him go after everything's over. We have him off our back and he's got time to think about his behaviour."

"We could implant a chip into him to ensure he won't be a danger in the future," Spike suggested with a smirk.

Giles shook his head, "No," he said firmly. "That is no way dealing with this."

Several pairs of eyes turned towards him. None of them seemed to believe his words.

****

"Dammit," Riley sat on a chair in the Initiative lab and looked at his friend.

"What's the matter?" Forrest had watched his friend for several minutes now. He was uncommonly pale and restless. His hands were fidgeting with the hem of his shirt all the time. The black man sighed, "You didn't do anything stupid, did you?"

"I went to see her ex- and current-boyfriend," he admitted after a while. "I went there armed with a crossbow."

"Riley," Forrest groaned. "You didn't?"

The blonde commando nodded, "Yes, I did. Unfortunately he wasn't at all what I expected. Sure, I saw him before. But we didn't talk. This time we did." He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Mainly I talked."

"And?"

"I said some really very stupid things and he ashamed me," Riley leaned back and closed his eyes. "Forrest we've learned about vampires being evil, without a heart, without a soul. But Angel is truly different. He was all noble and I behaved like an idiot." When his friend didn't say anything, he looked up and saw the other commando smile. "What?"

"Maybe it's your Iowa-upbringing. No offense there, but you were always a bit on the black and white - line. You know, either a thing is good or it is bad. Being an afro-american I've early learned that there's rarely something easy to estimate. Most things are shades of gray."

"Maggie wouldn't agree with you."

"I know," Forrest nodded. "But I don't mind. She's a bit narrow-minded anyway. However. It seems it's not the only thing that bothers you."

"No," Riley admitted. "I watched him leave and then out of nowhere he was shot with. I didn't hear a shoot, so I guess it was a crossbow or something similar."

"You didn't..."

"No," the blonde interrupted immediately. "He disarmed me in a flash," he said with a shake of his head. "I've never seen something alike. He said he was quick, but this - it was amazing. I think we're lucky we never met someone like him on patrol. I didn't even have time to blink. Anyway. I ran after him when I saw he was wounded but he'd already disappeared."

"Not good," Forrest gave his friend a concerned glance.

"You say it. They will think I did it, I'm sure of it. What on earth am I going to do now? I was really angry with Buffy, but the last thing I want for her is that she hates me now."

******

"Buffy."

No reaction.

Angel kissed the top of her head. Since Giles had left them again in his bedroom, she was clinging at him like her lifeline. The fact that someone would try to hurt him again was obviously too much for her at the moment. "Buffy," he repeated softly.

Very slowly she pulled away and raised her head, "What?"

"I think I could get up now."

She realised he'd removed the bandage. "It's closed," she said with a frown.

He smiled slightly, "I'm a vampire. Advanced healing, do you remember?"

She caressed his cheek gently with her hand and smiled, "I love you."

Their lips met for a kiss when someone was clearing her throat. Both turned towards the door seeing Willow with embarrassment written all over her face, "Sorry," she said smiling sheepishly, "I didn't want to disturb you. But we just discussed something and we need you two to decide." She glanced at Angel's chest and her eyes widened, "Wow. Only a scratch now."

He grinned, "Amazing, isn't it. Comes in pretty handy."

Suddenly something flew through the air and landed on his stomach, he looked up and into Cordelia's face. At his questioning look she grinned, "I brought you a new shirt. Your girlfriend tore the other into pieces. Besides it was so soaked with blood it would've needed ages to get rid of the stains."

"Thanks," Angel said dryly. Towards Buffy he added, "Now you see how much she loves me."

The slayer grinned, while the vampire pulled the shirt over his head. Then he got up and followed the three girls downstairs. The moment Giles spotted him, he began, "We were discussing a way to prevent Riley from doing further damage. Unfortunately," he looked around, "the ideas were a bit ... er ... radical."

"Radical?," Buffy quirked an eyebrow.

"We thought the best way was to take him prisoner for a while," Faith told her sister-slayer shooting Spike a short glance. "And then let him go again after confronting this master-wanna-be and his witches."

"Faith, we already told you, it's impossible," Wesley looked at Angel for support, but the vampire only shrugged.

"But why?" Buffy asked gazing at both her former watchers. "It's the safest thing to do."

"Buffy," Giles groaned. "We cannot just go and kidnap a human being. Angel," he turned towards the vampire. "You must see this is simply not possible."

"Because it's illegal?" he asked.

"Exactly," Wesley said in relief. Angel at least understood the problem.

"Spike and I could take care of it," the vampire said instead and made his employée gasp. "I mean, we're vampires. He can hardly get the police to prosecute us."

"I have another idea," Tara interrupted shyly, her gaze at Willow. "We could do a forgetting spell afterwards. He wouldn't remember what happened."

Faith's face lit up, "Excellent. I really need to punch him soon."

"Faith," Angel sighed.

She turned towards him and grinned, "He won't remember it anyway. Don't spoil my fun."

The vampire only shook his head, but grinned as well, while the two ex-watchers looked at each other in concern, but silently accepting the decision was made already.

"Alight," Angel said after a while. "When Faith is so eager to do it, she should go. Take Xander and Spike."

The three nodded, got up and left the house, while Giles glanced at Wesley with a sigh, "Some more tea Pryce?"

Chapter 19

Riley was standing in front of Lowell house deep in thoughts. He still couldn't believe the way he'd behaved today. They said love would make you do crazy stuff and by God how right that was. He was so in love with Buffy, it hurt thinking about it. And he just couldn't stop. He would give his left arm right now to make that aching pain stop that was ripping his heart apart.

And to remove the shame he felt when he thought what he'd said to Angel. He felt ashamed and really, really small. A hostile had held the mirror in front of his face. *You behave as if she's something to trade between us.* And damned he'd behaved just like this. As if Buffy was his property. And of course he'd known something had been wrong the last time they'd made love. The despair in her was almost tangible. And instead of talking to her, understanding her he'd given in because he had wanted her so much. God, he was a bastard. No wonder she choose Angel over him. He was sure the vampire was treating her like a queen. Each word the hostile'd said was so full of love and admiration. The same love he'd seen radiating from Buffy's eyes when she broke up with him. Every idiot would've seen the two of them were in love.

His head snapped up when he heard a noise behind him and he groaned when he recognized the person coming up to him, "Faith." Really the last person he wanted to see now.

"Hi Riley," the brunette slayer gave him a nod.

He felt something like panic raise in him, what if ... "How are you?," he asked as casually as possible, not trying to show the concern if Angel could be severely hurt. Inwardly he shook his head in disbelief, he was really concerned about a hostile. Maggie would have his head.

"Fine. Actually I was looking for you," she said with a grin and something in her eyes, the commando couldn't place.

"For me? Why? Did anything happen?"

"Actually yes."

Riley whirled around only to come face to face with Xander. The blonde frowned, "What is this about?"

And these were the last words he spoke because then his world went black.

******

Gabriel looked at the two beautiful women standing at the door of the mansion. He smiled, "Atalya and Chantea, what are you thinking about?"

The petite red-head turned towards him, "Gabe, my friend, my sister and I were just discussion the preparation for tomorrow night."

Gabriel smirked, "Chantea, you are as evil as ever." His index-finger slightly stroked the red-head's cheek.

"Hands off my sister," the brunette, tall witch snarled at him. "We're here to do magic, not to enjoy you."

"Ah, but we could do both," the vampire grinned.

"No," Atalya snapped back. "Go and have your fun with the mad vampiress, but we're here for spiritual reasons only."

Gabriel turned and shook his head. Witches weren't any fun, but hell, he would endure Atalya as soon as it served his purposes.

****

Buffy jumped up when she heard the door of Giles' apartment opened. Then she heard Spike, "Slayer, that was first class. One hit and he passed out cold."

"Shut up," Faith shot back. She was breathing heavily while she and Spike supported an unscious Riley between them. At once Angel got up and took him from the brunette slayer.

Exchanging another concerned glance with Wesley, Giles got up as well, "Alright," he sighed, "now that we have him here, I think we could chain him to one of the beds."

"Sure, watcher," the blonde vampire replied and then he and his grand-sire carried the human upstairs. Buffy followed on foot.

Deposing Riley on the bed, Angel and her began to bind his legs and arms to the bedposts. The commando groaned, but didn't wake up. The slayer didn't say a word during all this and even ignored the concerned glances her boyfriend gave her. As soon as their task was finished, Spike left the room, leaving the couple alone with the human.

"Are you okay?" Angel asked softly.

Buffy shrugged and turned towards the window, "He ran nuts, we secured him. Very simple."

"Buffy," the vampire came up behind her and gently laid his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her head, "don't do this. Don't try to ignore the time you had with him. And whatever he did it isn't your fault. We don't even know if he really did it."

"But..."

"I never saw the person who shot me," Angel interrupted her. "Somehow," he sighed, "the longer I think about it the less it seems logical that he was the one who shot me."

"I didn't," came a strangled voice from behind them. They spun around only to see the commando had woken up and was watching them.

"Riley," Buffy said, trying to stay calm although anger was pulsing through her veins like fire.

His eyes rested on her for a moment and then shifted to Angel, "I didn't shot you. Yes, I wanted," he groaned again, "I don't even know what I wanted anymore. After we met I realised what an idiot I was. The things I said..."

"No need to talk about this again," the vampire replied glancing shortly at Buffy, not wanting that she would hear about the words her former boyfriend had used.

Riley nodded quickly and said then, "I swear, I didn't shoot him," he looked at his ex-girlfriend again. "Besides I would've never hit the right spot with a crossbow and such a distance."

"You didn't," was her only reply.

He gazed at her in confusion, "What?"

"You didn't aim correctly. Otherwise Angel would be dead and I wouldn't even listen to you but kill you in an instant," she threatened, turning away swiftly and clenching her hands into fists.

"I'm glad you're better," the commando said to the vampire, who only nodded in reponse.

"You were watching me from the window," he said after a while. "Did you see anyone?"

Riley shook his head, "No. I wish I had."

Angel nodded again and was about to speak when his girlfriend spun around again, "You're not going to believe this puppy-dog expression, are you," she snapped at Angel. Then towards Riley she added, "I can clearly remember a time when you behaved all innocent and yet were full of secrets. You cannot fool me Riley Finn, because I know you. Angel might always try to find the good in humans, but not me. Do you hear me, not me." Her voice was rising with every word and in the end tears were running down her cheeks. "He was almost killed today. And it would've killed me too. I will never go another day without him, do you understand," she shouted.

Immediately Angel was gathering her in his arms, holding her gently and whispering into her ear to calm her down, while she was pressing her face to his chest.

Riley watched them. It was only a comforting gesture, but it showed so much intimacy and trust that he suddenly knew he would never ever have a chance to win her heart. Not once she'd let herself fall like this with him. Not once she'd shown so much weakness, laid her soul open, Angel she trusted so completely, loved him deeply, Riley had never seen something like that before. He'd known before, because she'd told him she loved Angel, but to watch it was so much worse, it was agony. He closed his eyes, not able to look at them any longer.

****

Joyce Summers sat on a chair in her kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hand, staring into space. Her anger was partially gone, frustration had taken over. She still couldn't believe what she'd seen today. Her little girl together again with that vampire. Why would she take him back and dump Riley was beyone Joyce's imagination. How could she've been so stupid? Riley was such a nice boy. He would've secured a future for Buffy and their children while Angel on the other hand...

She sighed heavily. There had to be something she could do. Maybe she should just talk to her daughter's friends, find an ally or try to talk to Angel again. Once he had listened to her and sure he had told her he wouldn't do it again, but maybe.

Putting down her cup, a smile spread across her face. Only in giving up you lose, she thought and took her car keys. Grabbing her purse she headed for the door only to come face to face with someone, who was smiling at her. "Mrs. Summers, you don't know me, but I think we could help each other. It's about Angel. If you would let me in I could explain."

Chapter 20

Willow exchanged a glance with Tara and then looked back at the expectant group in the room, "We're trying to find a spell to neutralise the witches' power up to a certain extent. So whatever they try will fail or not work as intended - hopefully," she finished with a sheepish smile.

"Hopefully?" Angel raised a brow.

"Our Willow," Xander put an arm around the red-head's shoulders. "Always one for the surprise spells."

"Oh yeah," Spike said from his spot in the corner and then smirked, "Just remember slayer..."

"Shut up," Buffy shot back. Avoiding her boyfriend's gaze, so that he wouldn't even start asking questions she didn't like to answer at the moment, she asked, "And what if the spell doesn't work?"

"Good question," Cordelia shook her head and rose. "I'm not really liking the idea of two evil witches running under full power. Can you say trouble?"

"Well we have to be prepared for any case," Giles said flipping through a book and muttering to himself, "I thought it was in here, but now," he rubbed his chin.

"Giles," Buffy waved a hand in front of his face. "Earth to Giles, are you still there?"

His head snapped up, "Oh, sorry. I'm not very good at witchcraft but I thought I remembered there were certain religious or lets say holy items that can reduce or eliminate witchcraft. But unfortunately ...," he trailed off, shrugging.

"Great, that's just great," Cordelia sat down again, "I know again why I left Sunnydale and went to LA. Nothing seems to be organised here. In our office in LA I'm the one in charge, we wouldn't have to search for something like that. I'd know where it is."

While Angel shot the former may queen only a pointed look Wesley sighed loudly, "Yeah, and that's why none beside you can find files." In response Cordelia glared at him.

The dark haired vampire sighed as well and turned back to his girlfriend, "Just ignore them. I've gotten used to their constant bickering."

"We need to know more about these witches," Giles said after a while. "I'm really looking forward to Faith coming back from patrol."

"She's got Anya with her, an over 1120 year old demon should know all witches around," Xander grinned.

"When they come back alive," Willow groaned. "Anya and Faith are a deadly duo."

****

Joyce raised a brow, but didn't step back or invited her in, so much she'd learned from her daughter, "About Angel?"

"Yes," the woman replied. She smiled openly.

Mrs. Summers still stood on the spot, "May I have your name, please?"

"Of course," the woman said with a nod and reached in her pocket. Producing a police shield she smiled, "I'm Kate Lockely. Officer Lockley. LAPD."

"I see," Joyce did step back now and Kate entered. While passing the older woman she said, "Can't be careful enough, can you. Never invite anyone in."

Buffy's mother showed Kate into her living room, "Can I get you some coffee or anything?"

"No, no. Thank you. I don't want to cause any trouble."

Joyce nodded and sat down opposite to the police officer. "Now Miss Lockley. You said this was about Angel?"

"Yes. And I will come right to the point. Obviously we're both informed about his ... er ... state."

"You mean the fact that he's a vampire? Yes, I'm aware of it. For quite some time actually," Mrs. Summers replied.

"Good," Kate said relieved. "I have realised that you aren't too happy about your daughter dating a vampire." When Joyce didn't respond, she went on, "You see. I'm not very fond of Angel either. I don't want to go into details, but I have very, let's say private issues with him."

"You mean...," Mrs. Summers began, but was cut off.

"No, no. Oh god, no. I would never touch him," Kate tried to sound as disgusted as possible and pushed the fact that she'd initially tried to hit on him in the farthest corner of her mind. "It's something different. It has to do with my father. Anyway. To come right to the point. If you're interested I could use your help."

*****

"They have guards everywhere now. Many more minions than yesterday, they are certainly preparing for something big," Faith reported half an hour later. We got almost caught, because Miss here ex-demon wouldn't stop drooling over that Gabriel-fellow.

"What?," Xander's head snapped around and he was staring at his girlfriend, whoshrugged.

"He looks droolworthy. Very sexy, tall, broad shoulders" she said mercilessly.

Ignoring those two, Giles exchanged a glance with Angel, "It's going to be tough."

"Yeah," the vampire took a deep unnecessary breath. "Gabriel is powerful and dangerous."

"Chantea too," Anya threw in and when everybody was looking at her, she added, "What? That was the reason why I had to go with her," she pointed at Faith. "I met her twice. She used to travel with her sister. A dangerous and evil duo. I wouldn't go near them. I saw only Chantea though."

"Well, that sounds encouraging," Wesley sighed, "unfortunately we can't just run away."

The former demon shrugged and began to search for some cookies.

Shaking his head over her behaviour Faith looked around, "Where's Buffy by the way?"

"She's gone to talk to Riley in private," Angel replied.

*****

"My help?" Joyce couldn't really follow the officer.

Kate leaned back in her chair, "Yes," she nodded, "you see, I could imprison him, but there isn't a reason for it, he didn't do anything to arrest him, speaking in human terms. But I - and I'm sure you too - know that he's a constant danger for people. He looks harmless most of the time, but he is a vampire."

"You don't have to tell me that. And I know what he's like when he isn't all behaved and civil." Mrs. Summers let out a long sigh. "But I cannot see how I could help."

Kate smiled, but the smile was cold, "That I'm going to explain that to you now."

Chapter 21

"So you expect me to believe you didn't try to shoot Angel?" Buffy stood in the center of Giles' bedroom, right at the end of the bed and stared at her still tightly secured ex-boyfriend.

"I... Look, Buffy, I know it was foolish and inexcusable to threaten him like that." He sighed, "I've never met a hostile like him. Someone who actually seems to have a heart, who obviously cares and doesn't kill humans - or not anymore. And I was jealous, it was nearly eating me up. First we make love..."

Sharply she interrupted him, "That wasn't making love. Angel and I make love. We never did. And it certainly had nothing to do with love on that special occasion."

Riley tried to suppress the pain that was rising in his chest. "I see," he whispered and shut his eyes for a moment.

"Okay so maybe we did sometimes," she admitted after a moment. "But certainly not that afternoon. Actually I thought I'd owe you an appology for that, because I was only using you." She turned towards the window and looked onto the yard, "Cordelia had just told me Angel would meet with other women and also ... you know ... that sent me over the edge. I desperately tried to convince myself that I was not hurt by this." She drew a shaky breath, "I felt miserable afterwards. I couldn't even look at you, because my eyes were spilling over. I've never felt so ... so horrible in my life. And I realised that I wouldn't ever be over him. No matter how many women he would sleep with, no matter how much he tried to push me away, I would always love him. So technically it was over between us the moment I left your room, at least in my heart."

For a while it was silent in the room. Buffy still didn't dare to look at him and Riley was still struggling not to fall apart right in front of her. She'd been open and honest with him, but it hurt so much, it was tearing him apart. "I ...," his voice was hoarse and he cleared his throat, "I understand," he said then. "Somehow I felt it. I mean you behaved so differently that afternoon. You've never been so deperate or aggressive. Not that I din't like it but I should've known from the start that there was something wrong." He took a deep breath and then quietly added, "As much as this hurts me to say it, but Angel would've probably known."

She spun around and stared at him. Then she slowly nodded, "Yes. He probably would've." She let out a short laugh, "He always knew how to deal with me. He always knew to say the right words, he knew when I needed to be held in his arms but also when I needed distance. He was so much a part of me that everything fell apart when he left. I cannot even begin to explain what it meant for me. It felt like dying, it was as someone had strangled me and I was desperately trying to breathe." She sat down at the end of the bed, "And then because I couldn't deal with the pain, anger took over. Without noticing I wanted to prove him that I was able to do what he wanted me to. So I didn't even look twice at Parker and got the bill. Then you came."

She looked at her hands that were folded in her lap and then back at him, "You were nice and sweet and ... I don't know, so I tried to tell myself that you were the right guy, although a voice deep inside of me said I was wrong. But everyone liked you. Willow almost pushed me into your direction. Then Angel came back to Sunnydale to protect me, but without telling me. When I found out I was so angry, I rushed to L.A. and although I only saw him for five minutes all these old, suppressed feelings came back. I was only in the same room with him and my heart was racing, the blood was rushing in my veins and I was tingly allover."

She took a deep breath, "Then I came back to Sunnydale and this old anger came back. I was angry with Angel, because he was causing these feelings inside of me and I had no shield against them. And with you," she laughed unhappily, "you were so safe. I didn't feel so ... so defenseless. So open for hurt and pain. So I let it happen."

Riley nodded, but didn't say anything. This was all too much. He would have to digest it first and maybe in some weeks he would be able to talk about it.

"Then," she continued, "I had another encounter with him concerning Faith. But I could hide myself behind anger and it was easier. So when I came back from L.A. the second time I felt good. Never ever realising that I betrayed myself. I made myself believe I was in love with you. To defend myself I can only say that I only found out when Angel came back." Taking another shaky breath, she said, "God, when he stood in Giles' living room it threw me. I thought myself safe and with only one look he tore my defenses apart. But he had changed. You see, somewhere in the back of my mind I was sure he'd always love me. But then he just ignored me, he didn't seem to bother at all. On top Cordelia told me about other women and ... I ... I just couldn't deal anymore. When I left you that afternoon I went almost straight to him, because I had suddenly realised that I had to make him understand that there would never be anyone else." She paused and then added silently, "Again."

She drew her hand through her hair, "So in a nutshell, I treated you badly, but that was me. Me. Why did you try to hurt him? He didn't take me away from you."

He closed his eyes again, then cleared his throat and looked at her, "I know. Buffy, I know that now. You cannot even know how ashamed I was when he left. I felt like a jerk. I rubbed under his nose how often we ... well ... how often..."

She jumped up and stepped back from the bed, "Oh no," she whispered. "You didn't."

But he nodded, "Oh yes. I did. Look at me. Riley Finn. Idiot. I don't even know anymore what had gotten into me. So you see, I admit all this, but I never tried to kill him. Even at the beginning, when I had the crossbow in my hand, I never really intended to kill him."

"I want to believe you," she said after a while. "For all the good times we had, I really want to believe it. Because I would prefer that version much more to the psycho ex." And then after a short pause she added, "I think Angel believes you."

"So?"

She looked at him for another long while, "I'm not completely convinced. I have to think about it. I just cannot risk letting you go. We have a serious crisis ahead."

"Maybe I could help?" he offered.

Buffy shook her head, "I don't know, Riley. I just don't know." With this she turned and was almost out of the door when his voice made her stop.

"Buffy, thank you for being so honest with me today. I really appreciate it."

Without turning she shook her head again, "There's no need to thank me for it. I owed it to you." Then she left the room.

Chapter 22

Angel took one look at Buffy when she descended from the stairs and wordlessly pulled her in his arms. Over her head he shook his' seeing the concerned glances of her friends. She was clinging to him for a while, pulling new strength from being near to him again. In this moment she realised the real importance of him in her life. Something she wasn't able to deny anymore and didn't want to do it either. It was so good to let herself fall into his comforting embrace, to savour his strength and love. Not always to have to be the strong one.

After a while he pulled slightly back and cupped her chin to make her face him, "I think it would be a good idea if we go home now," his gaze wandered to Giles, "if it's okay with you?"

"But...," Buffy wanted to protest but was cut off by her ex-watcher's voice.

"Buffy, you look tired. Tomorrow night you'll need all your strength. Angel's right, go and sleep."

Hesitantly she nodded and then looked at her boyfriend, "Alright then. Take me home."

With a smile he kissed her gently and then led her out of the apartment, nodding towards the others who smiled in response.

"Uh ... I think we all could need some sleep," Wesley announced from his spot on the sofa. "Why don't we all go home and meet tomorrow morning. That goes for everyone who's got no problems with daylight of course," he added glancing at Spike, who shrugged.

"I'll be there anyway," the blonde vampire said. "You can find me in the bathtub." With a wave of his hand he was gone.

"Okay," Xander got up now as well. "Let's go honey," he pulled Anya with him who didn't even bother with a good-bye.

"We have to keep looking for that spell," Willow exchanged a look with Tara, who nodded. "So we'll be there tomorrow morning."

Giles nodded, "Fine. But try to get some sleep. We all will need strength tomorrow night. I know it was all a bit pushed in the back with Buffy and Angel getting back together and that attack on his life, but it's going to be tough. There's a reason why it's called the End of Days."

The witch sighed and nodded, "I know." She and Tara turned towards the door, when she suddenly stopped and looked back, "Buffy looked very worn out tonight," she said to Giles.

"I know," his voice was full of concern. "It's too much for her. She was already thrown with Angel coming back, but she looked great this morning after getting back together with him. I think the idea that Riley could be responsible for the attack has come hard to her and even if she denies it she's taking her mother's response badly. I don't know if she told you, but it seems her mother visited Angel before he decided to leave."

"Oh god," Willow gasped.

"Yes, you can say that. Angel told me. Obviously she didn't even think it a bad thing and threw it into Buffy's face this morning. Anyway. Buffy's always been good in denial and now she's trying very hard to convince herself that her mother doesn't matter to her."

"And I thought my parents were bad," Cordelia shook her head. "Mommy Joyce really won the prize."

"You know there were times I envied Buffy for her," Willow sighed. "Alright then. See you all tomorrow."

"Bye," Tara said shyly and then both girls left the apartment.

Faith yawned on her chair and then got up, "I'm staying with Mr. army-guy," she said looking at Giles, "someone has to watch over him, accompany him to the bathroom, feed him," she grinned when she saw the ex-watcher raise a brow, "I will not hurt him, I promise," she raised a hand and then patted Giles' shoulder. "Calm down watcher man, I might have slept with him, but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to him. I always thought myself wiser than my sister-slayer."

*****

Buffy fell asleep in the car after a minute Angel noticed from the corner of his eyes. Smiling lovingly at her he drove to his apartment and carried her inside. She didn't even stir and so he removed her clothes to her t-shirt and panties and then tucked her neatly into the bed. Kissing her forehead he stroked over her jawbone with his fingertips and then slightly touched her lips with the tip of his thumb. He sighed not feeling tired himself as he had had a good day's sleep and it was only a bit after midnight now.

Remembering he hadn't fed since almost two days and as he'd run out of blood he wrote her a note in the unlikely case she'd wake up and quietly left the apartment.

*****

Willow was about to open the door of her parent's house who were traditionally away with her mother's sister and motioned Tara to step in as well, when a voice made her stop.

"Willow?"

The red-head turned around to come face-to-face with Joyce Summers who was smiling hesitantly at her.

"Mrs. Summers."

"Yes," Joyce replied. Then her gaze shortly went to Tara.

"Oh," the witch looked at her girlfriend, "I think you two have never met. Tara this is Mrs. Summers, Buffy's mother. Mrs. Summers that is Tara, my girlfriend."

The blonde witch nodded at the elder woman and then disappeared into the house while Willow stayed at the doorstep watching Joyce expectantly.

"You may wonder what I want from you," Mrs. Summers said smiling sheepishly. "Well, it's ... uhm ... I need your help."

The red-head raised an eyebrow, "My help?"

"Yes," Joyce nodded. "Maybe Buffy told you that we had a terrible fight this morning," she glanced at her watch, "yesterday morning," she amended. "I was very angry with her for breaking up with Riley and even more when I found Angel with her." She paused and studied the younger woman's face for a moment, "Do you think this is serious? I mean her break-up with Riley and getting back together with Angel."

Willow sighed, she was tired and that wasn't the kind of conversation she wanted to have at one o'clock in the night, but replied nevertheless, "Mrs. Summers, when it comes to Angel everything is serious."

Joyce nodded after a moment, "Do you know where she is? The dorm is closed and she was supposed to come home tonight, but ..."

"She went with Angel," the red-head informed her. "She was exhausted and so he took her with him. And I don't know where. They didn't tell us."

"I see," Joyce sighed and lowered her head. "I want to apologize," she said after a while. "I need to. But I cannot if I don't know where she is."

"She'll be at Giles' tonight. We'll meet there."

"Is something going on?" Mrs. Summers demanded.

Willow wasn't sure how much she was allowed to tell and her last talk with Giles had cooled her fond feelings towards Joyce, so she nodded hesitantly, "Yeah. Tomorrow night. That was the reason Giles called Angel to Sunnydale."

"So it was true. He initially didn't come for her?"

The red-head shook her head, "No. Actually he didn't want to come at all. I was there when Giles called him. He was very reluctant to help."

Joyce glanced at her watch again, "God, it's getting late. I'll be there tonight and talk to Buffy. Thank you Willow," she said, got back to her car and left.

Willow watched her leave and wasn't sure what she should think of this surprising visitor. Joyce had behaved strangely. A yawn escaped her mouth and she shrugged, she was too tired to think about that now, shrugging she closed the door behind her.

*****

It was always good to know how to get nightly supplies, Angel thought when he left the 24 hours butcher shop. Miles, the owner was used to vampires seeing him at night. He was one of the few inhabitants of Sunnydale who did not try to fool themselves. Like Willy he wasn't bothered by the night creatures on the Hellmouth, but unlike Willy he wasn't licking the hand of anyone paying enough to him. So Miles was respected for whatever this was worth with vampires.

Carrying two more cups of blood in a plastic bag the dark haired vampire walked along the streets of nightly Sunnydale and thought about the events of the past days. On the positive side was his getting back together with Buffy. He laughed inwardly. And he had thought himself immune against her charms. Shaking his head a grin spread across his face. He would never be immune to her. Hell, he loved her. And she loved him. Once he hadn't thought himself worthy of her love, of that precious gift, but she had made him see that she was as lost without him as he was without her. They needed each other like she needed the air to breathe and like he needed to avoid the sunlight.

He thought about Joyce and the fact that he had once misjudged her behaviour for love. Sure Buffy's mother thought she loved her daughter, but Angel knew better. It wasn't love that was driving her but possessiveness. The urge to rule her daughter's life, the idea that Buffy would live the life her mother wanted her to have. Of course there was also concern for her daughter, but instead of helping her with a fate the slayer couldn't change Joyce gave in to complete denial. As a result the daughter was protecting the mother, a reversal of roles no child could bare for long.

Riley, Angel thought, was a different problem. By now he was sure the commando hadn't tried to kill him. Riley just wasn't the person who could lie that way. And he really seemed to love Buffy, a feeling Angel could relate to. He and the commando would never become friends because of the slayer, but the vampire trusted the human. He didn't even know why, it was just a feeling and in his long life Angel had learned to trust his feelings. They'd saved his life more than once.

Suddenly he stopped. There was something he couldn't place. As if someone was watching him. He slowly turned round but saw nobody. Shaking his head he took a deep unnecessary breath. He was getting paranoid, he thought and had to laugh. Maybe love did that to him.

Then he saw fire coming from a building near by.

*****

Buffy was fast asleep when an object came flying through the window of Angel's apartment. The glass splintered, an explosion followed and the slayer bolted upright in the bed. Opening her eyes she immediately realised the room was on fire. Coughing hardly she rolled herself down on the floor shouting Angel's name in the process. There was no answer. She ran into the kitchen, then into the bathroom repeating her boyfriend's name again and again.

He was nowhere. Heavily panting she stood in the middle of the room, desperately trying to ignore the panic rising inside of her. Where the hell was he? She hadn't heard a shout, she hadn't seen a vampire burn, she couldn't see ashes somewhere. He had to be somewhere. But where? That was when she heard him shouting her name and only a second later he burst into his apartment, his eyes wide with fear.

"Buffy," he reached for her and pulled her to him, ignoring the fatal danger of the fire for a moment. She could feel a shiver running through his body and knew they'd shared similar emotions for the last minutes. Then his common sense kicked in and he pulled back, "We have to get out of here," he said his voice loaded with emotion.

While they left the building they already heard the alarms of the fire squad.

Chapter 23

An hour later Giles was pacing his apartment, stopping every now and then and looking back and forth between vampire and slayer. Wesley and Faith had joined them in the living-room while Cordelia was sleeping in one of the guest-rooms. Their party was completed by Riley who was now sitting in one of the chairs. None of them suspected the commando anymore to be the one who'd tried to kill Angel.

The vampire was standing in a corner and leaned against the wall while Buffy was sitting on the sofa next to her sister-slayer. She was pale and looked incredibly tired.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Riley asked concerned leaning forward.

Buffy gave him a short nod, "Yeah," her voice sounded hoarse from all the smoke of the fire.

"The question is, what we're going to do? Obviously this killer doesn't have problems to harm other people as well," Giles stopped his pacing and gazed at the blonde slayer, then his eyes wandered to Angel, "Do you have any idea who it could be?"

"No," the vampire shook his head.

"The problem is that we don't even know the motive," Wesley said rubbing his chin. "If it had been Riley," he gave the commando an apologetic glance, "then the motive would be clear. Jealousy. But now," he shrugged helplessly. "Angel has made enemies in L.A. of course, but I cannot figure anyone of them coming to Sunnydale and trying to kill him."

"This sucks," Faith crossed her arms, "We have this End of Days thing going on and now some psycho-vampire-killer. Does trouble always come in packs? No, rewind that. Of course it does, it did all my life." She sighed and sat down beside Wesley.

"It could be my mother," Buffy said after a moment in a toneless voice.

"Buffy," Angel pushed himself off of the wall and made a step towards her, but stopped when she raised her hand.

"Think logical," she looked at him and he was shocked by the expression in her eyes, hopelessness, betrayal, despair, "she hates you. I could see it. It was in her eyes when she saw us together. And she knows your apartment."

"No," her boyfriend shook his head and kneeled down in front of her, taking her cold hands in his. "Buffy, your mother would never endanger you. Never. Whatever her feelings towards me might be, she loves you. Maybe her way of showing it is strange sometimes, but she would protect you with her life."

"Are you sure?" her voice was full of despair as were her eyes. She wanted to believe him, yet there was still that nagging doubt and she couldn't help tears welling up in her eyes.

"Yes," he said firmly and pulled her down in his lap, holding her close. Rocking her back and forth like a child. She was crying silently on his chest and over her head his and Riley's gaze met. The concern in commando's eyes was honest and deep. Maybe if the circumstances had been different the both men would've been friends, the way it was now it was impossible, because beside the concern Angel could also see the deep love Riley was feeling for Buffy.

"I love you," she whispered after a while and raised her head to look at the vampire. "I'm sorry. It's just ... it's a bit too much at the moment." She turned her head and looked at Riley, "I'm sorry. For suspecting you."

He shook his head, "No need to be sorry. You had every reason to suspect me."

"What's going on down here?" a sleepy voice came from the stairs.

"Cordelia," Angel gave her a smile. "Sorry for waking you up."

One glance at her friends in the room told her something serious had happened. Meeting her questioning gaze Giles explained: "Our friend, the killer, has made another appearance. He threw something through Angel's apartment window to set it on fire.

"Oh my god," the former cheerleader's eyes widened, "Are you alright," she looked at the couple on the floor.

Angel nodded in assurance while his hand was still stroking Buffy's hair. "Angel," she mumbled after a while.

"Hmmm?" he looked at the slayer.

"I'm so tired."

"I know, love," he whispered. Then he got up pulling her with him in the process and scooping her in his arms. "Giles, I'm going to use your bedroom." He didn't even wait for an answer and went for the stairs.

As soon as they had disappeared Cordelia gazed at Riley, "That means you're a free man now."

"Looks like," he nodded, but didn't smile. "It's too much for her," he said looking at Giles who nodded in concern. Then he added, "Do you really think her mother could be responsible for that?"

The ex-watcher shook his head, "No. I'm with Angel there. She might hate him, but wouldn't endanger her daughter. There has to be someone else, someone we forget about. Someone..."

"... who holds him responsible for her father's death," Cordelia continued Giles' sentence and Wesley's head shot up.

"You don't think," he stared at the former may queen in shock. "No, Cordelia. She's a cop."

"And nuts," she replied firmly. "Sorry," she said seeing the questioning gazes of the others. "There's this lady-cop in L.A. Her name's Kate. Kate Lockley. She had the hots for Angel at the beginning. When she found out about him being a vampire she avoided him for a while. Then she came around, but then her father was killed by vampires while Angel was there. He couldn't help because Mr. Lockley wouldn't invite him into the room. Afterwards Kate went nuts. She accused Angel of deliberately watching her father dying and things."

"Well," Giles removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "it sounds like a motive."

"But Kate helped me," Faith interrupted their thoughts.

"And she is a cop. Do you think she would risk her job by killing," Wesley stopped abruptly mid-sentence and then suddenly slapped his forehead with his hand, "of course she would. He's a vampire. She would never be prosecuted for killing someone who's dead already. Oh god, that's perfect and absolutely insane."

"It is," Cordelia confirmed his thoughts. "And she's our best shot. Maybe we should find out where she is at the moment."

"Good idea," Giles nodded replacing his glasses. "We'll do it first thing in the morning. I'll call Willow. But now we have to sleep. All of us. We have a hard day before us." He glanced at the stairs and then back at Riley, "Maybe you'll stay too and help? Because Buffy will need all the help she can get now."

"Of course," the commando stood up, "You can rely on me."

"Good," Cordelia gave him a slap on the back. "Maybe I'm going to like you after all."

Chapter 24

Angel didn't sleep well through the night. Buffy was tossing and turning in her sleep and seemed only to calm down when he pulled her close, held her tight and whispered comforting words to her. Although she didn't wake up she snuggled closer to him. So after being awakened two times he decided not to go back to sleep and taking care of her instead. She was exhausted and needed every bit of rest she could get.

Only once he got out of bed to shut the curtains of Giles' bedroom when he felt the sun coming up. Hours later he heard the noises of the others waking up in the house but was glad it didn't disturb Buffy. Ever since he'd stayed awake she'd slept soundly.

It was almost nine when she began to stir in his arms. Smiling he bent down and breathed a kiss on her lips. Her eyes still closed she smiled as well and reached out to pull him close, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss which threatened to spiral out of control very soon. Summoning every last bit of self control Angel pulled back. Seeing her passion glazed eyes looking up at him he cursed himself inwardly for not being able to continue this here and now, he'd never been crazy about an audience. Instead he tried to keep cool and smiled, "Wow, what a good-morning," he joked, ignoring the hardened flesh between his legs.

"Hmmm," she murmured and tried to pull him close again.

"Buffy," he groaned. "Don't do this," he said with a half-smile on his face. "You're killing me."

Her response was a soft giggle, "A good way to die."

Oh god, he thought. On one hand he was glad that she seemed to have forgotten about all her problems at least for a moment, on the other he wasn't very fond of the idea of Spike as an audience for their love-making, vampire hearing and all. "Buffy, please," he groaned again and felt his self-control slipping, while her hands were exploring the lower parts of his body.

"Don't be such a spoil-sport," she pouted and looked at him. "We're alone here in this room. And there's a lot of catching up we have to do."

Closing his eyes, Angel decided that even a vampire had limits. "But you will punch Spike when he grins smugly afterwards," he warned her and finally gave in.

*****

"Everyone for coffee I say," Giles looked around his at that time of the day unusually crowded living-room. When he saw them nod he disappeared into his little kitchen.

"Are you alright?" Cordelia grinned at Riley who was trying to loosen his shoulders from a night on the sofa.

"Just a bit stiff," he grimaced, "that," he pointed at the couch, "wasn't made for someone as big as I."

"Hi everybody," came Willow's voice from the door, as usual she had Tara in tow. On seeing the commando she stopped dead in tracks, "Riley," she said, confusion written all over her face. "What happened?"

"Someone set Angel's apartment on fire last night, while he was bound tightly to the bed," Faith informed the red-head.

"Oh god," the witch's hand flew to her mouth. "Are they okay? Buffy and Angel I mean?"

"Yeah, they're fine. Physically at least," Giles told her coming back with steaming mugs of coffee. For him and Wesley he had added two cups of tea. "But Buffy's afraid that her mother might have been involved in this."

"She came to see me," Willow replied still shocked.

"Who?" Cordelia questioned.

"Mrs. Summers. She came to my house last night. Wanted to know where Buffy and Angel went, because she wanted to apologize." She paused and then added, "So she said."

"Mornin' red," Spike descended from the stairs yawning and looking definitely annoyed.

"Spike," Giles raised a brow. "That's not your usual time of day, I say."

"No, but I needed to get far away from them," he replied cryptically.

"Whom?" Wesley didn't understand a word and in seeing the gazes of the other's he soon knew he wasn't alone in this.

"The poof and the slayer of course. Shaggin' next to a lonely vampire's ears should be forbidden by penalty of death," he groaned and went for the kitchen.

Willow and Tara blushed furiously at his comment, while the rest looked slightly uncomfortable about it and everyone's eyes unconsciously were resting on Riley, who wished he could disappear there and then.

The tension however was broken by Spike's shout, "Bloody hell, someone's eaten up all my Wheetabix."

******

Still panting heavily, but heavenly spent Buffy snuggled at Angel's chest, kissing his throat softly. "Hmmm, that was nice," she moaned.

"Yeah," he replied and kissed her skull.

"I needed that," she said after a while. "I'm so glad you're here with me."

"Although this wouldn't have happened without me."

"Stop it," she sat up angrily and looked down at him. "Don't ever say that. This is wonderful. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love you Angel, please don't say such things. I couldn't bear losing you." Her voice was pleading in the end.

"Hush," he reached out and stroked her cheek with his knuckles, "That's not what I meant, love. I'm not going to leave you. Never again. Forever, you remember? But it's a fact that this assasin is after me. And obviously this person doesn't mind endangering you in the process."

"You're right. But I would face everything if it means we're together. Together we're strong, Angel." A strange expression flickered over his face, but was gone after a moment. She studied him for a while and then said, "Is something wrong?"

He shook his head, "No, nothing. I was just thinking, that's all." Her words had reminded him of the Morah demon on the day that wasn't. He knew he had to tell her about it as he also needed to tell her about a certain prophecy, but somehow there hadn't been the time and place to do it so far. And sure as hell this morning wasn't either. It wasn't important at the moment and had to wait.

"Angel?" she looked at him quizzically.

He sat up and caught her lips in a quick kiss, "Nothing. I'm fine," he said. "We've to get up now. I'm sure they're waiting for us."

"Alright," she sighed. "Angel, are you sure about what you said last night. About my mom?"

He pulled his shirt over his head and turned to look at her, "Yes, I am. Buffy, Joyce might hate the idea of you and I together, but she loves you. She would never endanger you. Never. The reason she wants me out of your life is that she thinks it's getting more dangerous with me in it."

She thought about it and then slowly she nodded, "You're right. And it makes me feel much better," she added with a small smile, "because whatever she said, thinking she would do something like that," she sighed but didn't finish the sentence.

"I know. Still I would feel a hell lot better if we had a clue who did it."

******

"So she's on vacation, right?" Cordelia looked over Willow's shoulder on the computer screen.

"Yes. For a week, beginning three days ago," the red-head confirmed.

"I can't believe this," Faith got up and began to pace the room. "She was so nice to me. She tried to help me," then she suddenly stopped dead in tracks and slowly turned, "wait. Maybe she was so nice to me because she thought I was under Angel's influence." She laughed but it didn't sound happy, "I should've known that she didn't do it for me."

"Faith," Wesley looked at the brunette slayer.

"No, it's alright," she raised a hand. "I got it. Angel's really the only one who ever cared about me. And he's a vampire. God, what a track record. I need some air," she turned and left the apartment, the door slamming behind her.

"I'd say that was one pissed slayer passing us," Xander muttered when he and Anya entered the apartment only a second after Faith had left.

"She's every right to be," Wesley replied. With a slight shake of his head he turned back to Giles, "So Kate is our first suspect."

"Our only," Cordelia pointed out.

"Alright, our only," Wesley gave in, not feeling in the mood to get into an argument with her, especially when she was right. "The question is, how can we find her and how can we stop her? We cannot go to the police and have her arrested for attacking a vampire."

"No," Riley looked at the former watcher, "but how would it be if the victim was human?"

Chapter 25

"Human? What do you mean human? Angel's a vampire." Willow's face showed deep confusion.

"Well, I know one shouldn't give a false statement and all," the commando smiled wickedly, "but in certain cases one needs extreme actions."

"What cases are you talking about?" came Buffy's voice from the stairs. She and Angel were just coming down.

"Angel," Wesley looked at his boss. "We might have figured who tried to kill you."

"You did?" the slayer's head shot up.

"Kate," Cordelia said slowly. "We believe it is Kate."

*****

"So you could find out where they are tonight," Kate Lockley looked at the woman sitting opposite to her in the lobby of her hotel.

Slowly Joyce nodded, "Yes. Buffy's friend, Willow, told me they would gather at Mr. Giles' apartment tonight."

"I see," The police officer bit her lower lip. She had to be careful now, very careful. "I want to get him on his own. I don't want anyone else to be hurt."

Mrs. Summers let out a long breath, "I'm happy to hear this. What I still don't understand is what you plan to do with him. Surely you're not thinking about killing him?"

The look in the other woman's eyes told Kate that would never approve of it. Strange enough, she didn't want her daughter to be with him, but didn't want to be responsible for his death either. Kate on the other hand didn't want to hurt Joyce. Still she was a police officer and the police was helping people. Although the idea of harming Buffy was intriguing, if only to see the anguish on Angel's face. But of course Mrs. Summers mustn't suspect anything, so she just answered, "Of course not. I just want him safely locked away, for a vampire of course."

*****

"Kate?" Slowly, very slowly, Angel turned towards the former may-queen, disbelief in his eyes.

"We didn't want to believe it either," Wesley pointed out. "But everything fits. She's on a vacation, she's a reason to hate at least in her twisted mind and she's enough knowledge to shot, to use explosives...," he trailed off.

Seeing his girlfriend's questioning gaze, Angel explained, "Kate is a cop in L.A..."

"Oh, I remember her. I met her when I was there right?."

He nodded, "Yes. We were ... well, I wouldn't say friends, but we helped each other. Then her father was killed by vampires. I was there, but couldn't help him, because he wouldn't invite me in," he let out a sigh and shook his head to get rid of that picture. Buffy reached out and took his hand. "Afterwards," he continued, "she began to hate me for it. She resented me for what I was," he let out an unhappy laugh, "only a dead vampire is a good vampire ... along these lines."

"So she is a prime suspect," the slayer said after a short while.

"I guess," he sighed and rubbed his neck. "Although I truly hope we're wrong."

"Still we don't know where she is," Xander took a sip from his coffee, "and the longer I think about Riley's idea the more I like it."

Buffy and Angel turned towards the commando, both raising a questioning brow.

"As Mr. Pryce here has pointed out," Riley said, "there's no way of closing her up for attacking a vampire, but what if the victim was human. One of us could go to the police and say..."

"No," Angel's response came instantly and was very sharp. He shook his head, "We won't do that. I know you want to help, but no. The only thing we could do was getting her for endangering Buffy's life. But we have no proof, none at all." Seeing the other's gazes, he amended, "all right, almost none. But seeing it with the eyes of the police we have none. Believe me, if she's the one who did this, I'm the last to have mercy on her." His eyes rested on the slayer and with a swift motion he pulled her close.

"Guys," Willow said after a moment. "There's another thing. We didn't forget about the End of Days, did we?"

When the other people in the apartment turned towards her a silence settled over the room and everyone was thinking the same. That if they wouldn't prevent that from happening it wasn't of much consequence if Kate was the attacker or not. With this thought in mind, the police officer was forgotten because everyone jumped into research.

Chapter 26

"It's time," Willow looked at her watch and then at her friends who were still gathered at Giles' apartment.

"And you're sure your spell will work Red?" Spike raised a brow. "Because I'm not looking forward to two angry, evil witches."

Angel couldn't help but grin, "Talking about evil...," he trailed off.

"Shut up, mate," the blonde vampire turned away. "I'm an evil vampire, but an evil witch is something completely different."

"William the Bloody is afraid," Buffy had to grin as well.

Spike faced her again, "That has nothing to do with being afraid, I just don't like the idea to end as a rat."

"Oh you could join Amy then, she's so alone all the time," Willow bit her lower lip and suppressed a giggle.

"You're all so funny." Suddenly an evil grin spread across his face, "Talking about fun," he looked at Angel, "I could listen to some fun this morning."

His grand-sire merely raised a brow and looked at his girlfriend, "It's your turn love."

WHAM

The slayer's fist connected with his jaw and Spike landed on the sofa, while the other's were watching with wide eyes.

"I say..., "Giles stuttered.

"Slayer," Spike shook his head rubbing his jaw with one hand. "Whatever was this for?"

"You know it," she gave him a saccharine smile, "and besides I promised my boyfriend I would hurt you just in case."

The blonde vampire narrowed his eyes slightly and looked at his grand-sire who chuckled silently. "Girlfriend with supernatural strength, what can I say." When he saw that none of the others understood what was going on he just added, "Private joke."

"Er ... well," Wesley looked back and forth between the two vampires and the slayer and then decided to change the subject, "I hope everyone knows the plan. The two vampires and the slayers will enter the mansion. We have to disturb the ritual. Willow and Tara will accompany you." He exchanged a glance with his collegue, "And hopefully their spell will work as planned."

"Amen." Xander wrapped an arm around Anya's shoulder.

"At least there are no demons involved," Cordelia said almost relieved. When she saw Angel raising a brow her eyes widened, "There are demons involved?"

"Cordelia, vampires are demons," her boss said slowly.

She gestured with her hand, "I know, I know. But they just leave some ashes when they go poof, but none of these ugly, slimy things, right. Because this is a new pair of Italian shoes and I'm SO not looking forward to remove demonic glue from them."

"Cordelia," Wesley groaned. "Maybe you should just wear some slippers."

"Slippers," the former may queen rolled her eyes. "God, you've got no style. What if this is my last day on earth. I will not die looking like some poor little chit."

******

"I'm not sure about this," Joyce looked at Kate doubtfully.

"That's my only chance to get him. Mrs. Summers, I'm a cop. I'm trained to help people. I won't hurt anyone," the police lady gave the elder woman an assuring smile.

"Alright, still," she sighed, "but you might be right about Angel influencing my daughter in a dangerous way. And I so do not want him in her life. I will help you."

Kate smiled, a dangerous slow smile. She was almost there.

******

It was a hell of a fight. Surprisingly Willow's and Tara's spell worked perfectly. The two evil witches could only stand and watch, they'd never expected to be eliminated by a spell. With some other words they were transformed into rats. Tara gave her girlfriend an approving look and Willow had to grin, transforming a person into a rat wasn't the actual problem.

Still Gabriel had started his ritual, he and Drusilla were kneeling inside of a circle to summon the TRUE EVIL while the slayers and vampires did their best to fight the 40 or more minions protecting the circle. Their human friends did their best to help them, but it needed some time to eliminate all the vampires.

Bleeding and beaten Buffy finally managed to come face to face with Drusilla, while Angel, Spike and Faith had Gabriel cornered. He was strong but outnumbered this time and staked after a short battle. Drusilla on the other hand tried to hypnotize the blonde slayer but obviously the spell Willow and Tara had performed also weakened her abilities, so Buffy was able to stake her quite easily. When the insane vampiress was reduced to ashes Spike just turned around and left the mansion. Nobody stopped him, they all knew he had to grief on his own. He hadn't seen her for a while, but they'd been together for a very long time.

As soon as Gabriel was reduced to ashes the circle broke and a blue light blinded everyone for a moment. When she was able to see again Buffy gasped. Angel was laying on the ground groaning in pain and it seemed as if he was desperately trying to breathe ... breathe???? ... something inside of her snapped and she stared at Angel with wide eyes. She wasn't able to move and had difficulties to breathe as well.

Angel on the other hand - the moment he was able to see again - saw his girlfriend gaping at him as if she was living through a nightmare.

The same moment they heard a noise from the door, Kate and Mrs. Summers stormed into the mansion. Kate was holding a bottle. Before anyone could react she ran over to where Angel was lying on the ground and poured the contents of the bottle all over him. Then she just stood there staring when she realised that nothing had happened before a fist connected with her face and the world went black.

*

Angel shook his head and struggled to sit up. Immediately he knew this had been Holy Water. Yet it did not burn. This was the moment he realised his heart was beating, but before he could process all this his girlfriend sank down beside him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Pressing herself to him, she whispered his name again and again.

"I'm fine," he assured her and tried to pull back, but she wouldn't let him.

Against his neck she mumbled, "That's not it. I said I would never forget. I did though."

"Forget, what ...," then it hit him and he held her tightly. "It's okay, love. You were not meant to remember. It's me who should be sorry for it. You are not mad?"

Now she did pull back and looked at him, while the others including her mother watched them in confusion, "Mad? Why would I be mad? You gave everything up for me. Okay, so you made the decision without me, but I would have done the same. I love you. I love you," she repeated.

"You remember everything?," he asked with a half smile.

"Yes, why?," she gave him a questioning glance.

"Do you also remember this?," he asked and laid her hand on his chest.

After a moment she gasped, "Oh god," her voice was only a whisper, "It's beating. Your heart is beating again." A smile crept across her lips but it suddenly faded, "But you're not going to turn the time back again, are you?"

"Buffy...," he began.

"I know this expression," her voice trembled.

"But Buffy ..."

"No," she said firmly. "No, I won't allow it."

Angel was about to answer but had no chance when suddenly a figure materialised in the room. Cordelia stifled a cry and grabbed Wesley's arm while the former vampire managed to stutter, "D-Doyle."

"Yeah," the Irishman grinned. "Delia darlin'," he gave the former may queen his sweetest smile and sighed, "What a shame we never had a chance."

"Oh Doyle," she breathed.

"Don't worry, darlin'. It wasn't meant to be. You will find your happiness one day. But now our friend here," he turned to look at Angel and Buffy, "They," he glanced above, "sent me to tell you not to worry. You just fulfilled your prophecy. There's no way to change it. Be happy," he grinned, "both of you."

"Doyle, I..," the former vampire had tears in his eyes.

The half-demon winked, "Don't worry my friend. It's not that bad where I am now, I miss 'Delia," he whispered, "but did you ever know that angels are quite pretty. Oh I almost forgot, you are released as well," he smiled at Buffy, "Faith will be the only remaining slayer for a while." With a last grin his image faded again and the mansion was as if he'd never been there.

The two lovers stared at each other for a moment and then wrapped their arms around each other. They broke their embrace again when someone cleared his throat. "What's this all about?" Giles was completely confused.

Angel gazed at him, "That was Doyle. He used to work with me," he glanced at Cordelia, "us," he amended and they exchanged a smile. "Obviously he came to speak for the powers."

"The Powers?" Willow asked.

"The Powers That Be," the former may queen explained feeling great that she knew something the others didn't. "They are responsible for what happens down here. Like God, you know." Her eyes narrowed for a moment, "I get visions from them from time to time, although," she looked at Angel, "you seem to be released from your duty now. Does that mean I am too? Because otherwise I will *so* kill them."

The former vampire just grinned. "Anyway," he went on, "Some time ago Wesley translated a prophecy. It said that the vampire with a soul would become human one day." He pulled Buffy to him, "Actually I didn't expect it so soon."

"This is ...," Giles began.

"Great," Willow beamed. "It's great, isn't it?"

"Yes," Buffy breathed happily and leaned her head at her boyfriend's shoulder, who kissed her skull.

"I say it's a reason to celebrate, right?" Riley gave his ex-girlfriend a cautious smile and she nodded in response. Then she saw her mother standing a little bit away from the group.

"Mom. You came with her?" the slayer glanced at Kate who was still lying on the ground but began to wake up.

Unhappily Joyce nodded.

"How could you?" Buffy simply asked and then turned away.

With that the gang left the mansion and let a confused Joyce Summers and a dazed Kate Lockley behind them.

Chapter 27

They were all assembled at Giles' apartment an hour later. The former watcher had found two bottles of champagne he'd saved for a special occasion. They were all laughing and celebrating. Only the slayer sat on her boyfriend's lap and wouldn't participate. Angel held her in his arms and whispered into her ear or nibbled at her neck to make her feel better, but she just sighed and leaned back at his broad chest. Kissing her softly on a sensitive spot behind her earlobe the former vampire saw a tear tickle down her cheek. He caught it with his fingertip and asked concerned, "Hey, what's the matter?"

"I know I should feel happy, celebrate, you're human, I'm not the slayer anymore, but ... it's just..."

"Your mom, isn't it?"

She nodded slightly, glad that none of the others seemed to notice their conversation, "How could she do this? How could she help this Kate-person? Don't try to make this easier for me. I'm ... I was the slayer. I know it was holy water she poured all over you. Do you realise what would've happened if you'd still been a vampire?"

"But it wasn't."

"No," she admitted, "but mom didn't know this. Kate tried to kill you. She's insane."

"Buffy, she thinks I'm responsible for her father's death. She's hurting a lot. Usually ... I mean when I met her first she wasn't like this. Maybe your mother just believed her because she's a cop."

The blonde shook her head, "But she should've trusted me, Angel. I'm her daughter and the fact that I love you should be enough for her."

"Hey you both? What about the sad faces?" Xander asked and everyone turned to look at the couple. "Dead Boy isn't Dead Boy anymore. This should be a reason to celebrate. One less vampire on this earth, without staking him." He grinned.

"I'm sorry," Buffy tried to smile, but failed.

"You should try to sleep," Giles gave her a concerned glance. "We all need some rest."

"Yes," Angel nodded, stood and held out his hand for his girlfriend. "Come with me?"

The blonde nodded and gave the others an apologetic look, "See you guys tomorrow then." With this she followed her boyfriend up the stairs.

As soon as he heard the door shut Giles looked at Willow, "Are you very tired?"

"No," she shook her head, "Why?"

"I think we need to visit someone," he stood up and the witch saw his hands were clenched into fists. "Mrs. Summers"

Xander raised a brow and stood as well, "You're right. I'll come as well."

"And me," Riley said firmly. "Maybe I can help," he added.

"Alright," Giles nodded, "I think we four are enough. Otherwise Mrs. Summers will feel invaded and we are certainly the ones she knows best."

Chapter 28

Joyce Summers looked up when she heard a knock at her door. She was even more surprised when she saw Rupert Giles, Willow, Riley and Xander standing in front of it, all of them wearing serious expressions on their faces. After a moment she silently motioned them to come in and led them into the living room.

Willow gasped when she saw Kate lying on a sofa. She pointed at her, "What's she doing here?"

"She was hurt. I couldn't leave her like this at this ... this disgusting place."

"But ... but she tried to kill Angel." Willow's voice was rising and loaded with disgust. "Twice," she added, "no, make that three times."

Joyce raised a brow, "She tried to kill Angel?"

"Yes," Giles nodded, "She shot him with a crossbow, then threw something explosive through his window, that - just to tell you almost killed your own daughter - and then poured Holy Water all over him. Luckily none of the attacks succeeded."

Joyce stared at him in disbelief and seemed a loss of words. After a while she said, "Well, after all he's a vampire..."

Now Xander had had it, "That's enough," he shouted. "Did you even listen to yourself, Mrs. Summers? And to Giles? The second attack almost killed your own daughter. What's the matter with you? And besides. Everyone knows that I never liked Angel, but this...", he trailed off.

"I cannot believe you're saying this Xander. He seems to have influenced all of you. Miss Lockley would never endanger Buffy's life. She's a cop. I thought you were glad too when Angel left?"

"Maybe," he said slowly. "But I'm over it. Mrs. Summers, have you ever watched your daughter? I mean during the last two years," he gave Riley an apologetic glance in advance as he knew the words would hurt the commando, "Alright, she was with Riley, most of the time, she tried to smile, she played the dutiful daughter. But she wasn't happy. She wasn't the Buffy I met all those years ago. And unlike you I know why. Because - and I really hate to admit it - her true happiness is Angel. He's her center, the most important person in her life. They share something most people never find. Did you ever look at her eyes when he's with her? I think not. They shine. As much as I hate it, but I'm Buffy's friend and I want her to be happy, even if it means I have to befriend that boyfriend of hers as well." He paused for a moment and then added, "and by the way, he isn't really that bad. He saved our lives more than once."

When he was finished he saw Willow and Giles staring at him, "What?," he shouted.

"Oh Xander," Willow smiled and hugged him, "I've never ever been as proud of you as I'm today."

"Well," Giles cleared his throat, "Mrs. Summers. I couldn't have said it better. You say you love Buffy. If it's really true you should wish her to be happy."

Joyce looked at him with tears in her eyes, "I ... I don't know what to say."

The same moment they heard a groan from the sofa and saw Kate blinking, "What ... wha... who are you?"

Willow stepped over and pointed at her: "YOU," she shouted, "How could you do this?"

"You will never understand," the police officer shook her head, "You obviously are too blind to see the facts. He's a vampire. They are evil, dangerous creatures. I've seen what they can do." She tried to suppress the tears welling up in her eyes. She still saw her father lying on the ground.

"Oh please," the read-head tried to look as arrogantly as possible. "We've seen more vampires you can ever dream of. Don't try to lecture me about them. I'm a witch myself. A good one of course."

"Then you should know," Kate shot back, slowly standing up. "I've seen one of Angel's childer killing girls. He's responsible for that. I think you just don't want to see what he is."

"Miss ... Lockley, right?," Giles looked at her and tried to hold his anger in check. His voice was low and cold when he continued, "Angel's demon killed the person I loved more than my own life. I had every right to hate him and I did. Buffy and maybe Willow were the only ones to see Angel wasn't responsible for the deeds of his demon. When Angel left Buffy and Sunnydale I was happy, I thought it was the best for all of us. But I was wrong. You see, Angel is as innocent as we are, maybe he's even more tortured. No, rewind that, he is more tortured. Can you even contemplate living with all these memories of death, blood, rape and whatever happened when the demon was in control." He stopped and looked at the young woman for a moment, "None of us can. It must be a nightmare none of us can even begin to imagine. And still he's standing straight. Even more so, he tried to make amends. I know it must have broken his heart to leave Buffy. They both shared something so special." He shook his head. "He isn't the evil creature you want to see in him. He never was. He was a victim."

"I never saw it that way," Joyce said, although Giles hadn't spoken to her.

"I know," the ex-watcher turned towards her. "I didn't either. For a long time. But now I'm glad he's back. They need each other." He looked at Riley for a moment, who hadn't said a word so far.

"Mrs. Summers," the commando said now, "I know I called you some days ago. I was wrong. I was hurt, because Buffy broke up with me, but I had time to see them together. I ... I do love her and obviously it's Angel she needs. I truly wish it'd be me, but I'm not what she wants." Then he looked at Kate. "I know about vampires and demons, Miss Lockley and I had the opportunity to get to know Angel. I went to see him with a crossbow in my hand. And do you know what? He ashamed me. He showed me that he was the far better man. Maybe you should try to think about what you're saying."

"Where is she now?" Joyce asked.

"She's with Angel at my apartment," Giles replied. "She was tired, exhausted and deeply hurt."

"I ... I was so blind," Mrs. Summers shook her head as if she couldn't believe what she'd done. "I thought ... she would be better without him, but I never thought, she," she looked at Kate, "would kill him. I swear." She broke down now and began to cry, "Oh god, I ..."

Giles gathered her in his arms, "Now, now," he said. "I'm sure everything will be alright.

Willow looked at Kate, "I think you better go now. And don't you dare try to hurt Angel again. If you'll do I'm transforming you into a rat."

"And that's no empty threat," Xander grinned. "She just did it some hours ago."

Kate gazed at the red-head as if she was mad, but a glimpse of fear was in her eyes when she hurried to leave the house.

"I truly hope she won't bother them again," the witch said.

"I don't think so," Xander laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You were quite frightening."

"Xander," she playfully punched him into his ribs, but then she smiled.

When Joyce seem to calm down Giles let go of her. With watery eyes she looked at the four guests in her living-room, "You opened my eyes today and I'm very grateful although it's not nice to realise what an awful mother I've been. Especially thinking how hard I always tried to be the best."

"Mrs. Summers, maybe you should try to talk to Buffy. It may not be easy because she's really hurt, but Angel might help you." Willow gave the broken woman a smile.

"I don't know," Joyce was hesitant.

"You have to be the one to make the first step," Riley touched her arm. "She needs you, Mrs. Summers. She may not show it, but I've learned the hard way that she's one of the best actors."

"She won't come home," Xander added. "Maybe she'll just leave with Angel."

"Oh no," Joyce covered her mouth with one hand. "I will. I will try to talk to her. But tomorrow," she grimaced when she looked at her clock, "or today. You said she was exhausted. So it's better to let her rest." She took a deep breath. "Thanks to all of you. I really appreciate what you did today."

Giles nodded and then gestured the others out of the house, "Mrs. Summers, Joyce," he said, "she does need you. She isn't your little girl anymore, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. She's tried to protect you for so long and now all she asks is a little bit of understanding."

She smiled, "I know. I've understood." Laying a hand on his arm she added, "Thank you, Rupert."

Chapter 29

When Buffy woke up it was almost noon and still she felt exhausted. Instantly she reached for Angel only to see he was gone. Inwardly she sighed, she'd wanted to watch his first sunrise with him.

"Good Morning," came his voice from the door and she smiled. He was fully dressed already and was holding two mugs of coffee.

"Good Morning, how does it feel to be human?" She took one cup from him and inhaled the scent. Morning coffee was one thing she enjoyed deeply, even if it was at noon.

He grinned, "Honestly. Still strange. I mean, I can go out of that room and don't have to look if there's sunlight somewhere." He walked over to the window, "I can just pull the curtains and blink into the sun. Although I had one day training I didn't really use it."

She grinned as well, "I remember."

"You still look tired," he said after a while and sat down beside her.

"I feel tried. But pretty good too. You know, looking at you, seeing you, here in the sunlight."

"Are you hungry too?," he wanted to know.

"Hmmm," she sipped from her coffee. "Starving."

"Fine," he put his cup down, stood up, opened the door and returned with a loaded tray.

Buffy's eyes widened, "Wow. How did this happen?"

"I'm not bad in making breakfast," he explained with a grin, "And I've got a thing for human food."

"Hmmm," she made again. "I remember. But no ice-cream, no chocolate," she sighed dramatically but then smiled, "Ah, peanut butter ... yummy it's crunchy."

He smiled, "Giles didn't have it, so I went to get some. Ice-cream is in the fridge, but maybe we could try that later. We also have to look for a place to stay or you could come with me to LA, because ... well, I think Giles will want his room back at some point."

Biting in her buttered toast, Buffy sighed, "This is a big yum! Breakfast in bed with my *human* boyfriend. I could get used to this."

"Are you offering?," he smiled. "Because I would love to ... well, that is if you ...," he seemed embarrassed all of a sudden.

"Angel?," she reached out to touch his cheek, "what is the matter?"

He took a deep, now necessary, breath, "Would you move in with me?"

Meeting his expectant gaze she raised a brow, "Move in with you, hmmm? Well..."

"Buffy!"

"Yes," she said grinning. "Of course I want. But what about college? You're living in LA."

He shrugged, "I cannot keep the agency. I mean, I'm human now. No supernatural strength. You're not a slayer anymore. It seems we just have to try to be a normal couple."

"I like the sound of this," she replied. Suddenly she sighed, "I just wish ...," then she shrugged and became quiet.

"It's your mom," Angel said after a while, taking her hand and kissing it's palm.

She didn't answer the question, just stared ahead. "I like your apartment in LA. It's so you. But if we're going to live there I want it to be ours. I would like to have some of my things there too. Like Mr. Gordo for example," she joked.

"Buffy...," he began but she interrupted him.

"Maybe we could also find something else. With some more windows, now that we both can enjoy the advantages of sunlight..."

"Buffy, stop," he said firmly. Her head snapped around. "Don't do this. We have to talk about your mother. And besides the apartment doesn't exist anymore."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed, "Some demon blew it up. The whole building is only ruins now."

"Like the old Highschool," she said almost absentmindedly.

"Buffy we have to talk about your mom," he cupped her cheek in one of his hands and made her look at him. "It doesn't hurt less if you try to prevent she doesn't exist anymore."

Instantly her eyes filled with tears and with a swift motion he pulled her to him. "I know it's hard, my sweet. Just cry, I'm here to hold you."

"Oh Angel," she cried against his chest. "I love her. Why does she hurt me like this? Why?" The last word was spoken with so much despair, Angel felt as if his heart was ripped out of his chest.

"I don't know. I wished I could explain it to you, but I can't." Stroking her head he said slowly, "Parents. Children and parents don't always have the best relationships. My father and I ... I could never live up to his expectations. In the end I almost hated him, because nothing I did was right in his eyes. He made me feel low, maybe because of this I was always so great in feeling guilty for everything. All I wanted was his approval, his love. He gave me none of it. Maybe he wasn't even capable of love. I don't know. And my mother ... she was too weak to stand up against him. Women in these times weren't the same as they are today."

"I'm sorry," she sniffed and slightly pulled back.

"No," he shook his head and looked her in the eye, "I didn't tell you so that you could feel sorry for me. I just wanted to explain that you aren't the only one with parental issues."

"I know. I've always known this. Willow's and Xander's parents aren't great either," she laughed unhappily, "actually they're far from it. Xander even has to pay rent for a sticky basement. But none of them supported a person who tried to kill their daughter's boyfriend. I don't know if I can ever get over this."

"Oh my love," he pulled her back to his chest. "I'm so sorry."

The same moment they heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," Angel said and Giles' head appeared.

"Good Morning, Buffy," he greeted the blonde. "There's someone who wants to talk to you." Seeing her questioning gaze he said, "It's your mother."

Chapter 30

Joyce was sitting in the living room and nervously playing with her hands in her lap. The last time she remembered having been so nervous was when she told her parents about being pregnant with Hank's baby. No, she thought, not even then. She was perfectly aware of the fact that the coming minutes would probably be the most important in her life.

She looked up when she saw Giles coming down again, "And?"

He gave her a smile, "They'll come. Buffy has to get dressed first. She just woke up. How do you feel?"

She laughed nervously, "Well, what do you think?"

He nodded, "Yeah. I can imagine. Or rather not. I never had a daughter."

Spontaneously she stood up and laid a hand on his arm, "You're wrong, you know. Buffy's always been some kind of daughter for you. She's much more your daughter than Hank's, maybe even more than mine. You know what's going on in her head, you listen to her, while I ...," she shook her head unhappily. "Do I earn to be called mother anymore I wonder."

"You made some faults, Joyce," he replied. "That's human, we're all far from being perfect. And about knowing what's going on in her head." He sighed, "to be honest I think that Angel's the only one who really understands."

"Good Morning Mrs. S," Faith was just coming through the door and looked at the former watcher and the older woman.

"Faith," Joyce raised a brow at the brunette slayer. Then she added, "Good to see you."

"Whatever," Faith shrugged. She didn't feel like talking to someone who'd helped to kill the only friend she had. This was a major minus in her book. "I just came to tell you that the police lady checked out of her hotel. But I still have a bad feeling."

Giles sighed and rubbed his forehead, "I truly hope your feeling is wrong. I think they already had enough of this."

"Saw Riley on the way," the brunette slayer informed him. "Said he'd come over later today." She suddenly laughed, "He isn't half as bad as I thought."

"So?" The former watcher had to laugh as well.

"Oh no," she raised a hand in protest. "No attraction there. God no," she rolled her eyes. "But he's not a bad sort. Could be a friend. Well, I'm off again."

"Where do you go?," he wanted to know.

"Believe it or not, back in my bed. I'm still beat and I need my own room now. See ya!" With this she was gone.

"She's a strange girl," Joyce shook her head and almost smiled.

"She's alright," came Buffy's voice from the stairs. Her mother and Giles turned to face her and Angel who was right behind her. "Mom," she nodded towards Mrs. Summers while the ex-vampire just stood and watched.

Joyce looked uncomfortable, "Honey, can I ... I want to talk to you. Hello Angel," she nodded towards her daughter's boyfriend.

"What about?," Buffy crossed her arms, "As far as I am concerned everything is said and done."

"Well," her mother glanced at Giles but then looked back at her daughter, "Maybe I should start by apologizing for behaving the way I did." When Buffy didn't react she added. "I ... don't know what to say. I feel horrible for being such a fool, for being such a bad mother."

When the blonde still didn't say anything, her eyes still unforgiving and cold, Angel cleared his throat and touched his girlfriend's elbow, "Why don't we all sit down?" He looked at Giles, "We could have a cup of tea together."

"Sure," the ex-watcher nodded. "I'll get it," he said and went into his little kitchen.

Joyce took a deep breath after she was seated, "I went to your old apartment first," she looked at Angel, "I'm so sorry this happened. All the wonderful art work."

The ex-vampire merely shrugged, "I haven't been there since that night, so I have no idea what it looks like."

"I see," Mrs. Summers entwined her hands, "I saw some very nice drawings."

"Thanks," Angel replied and gave her a slight smile.

Her eyes widened, "You? You're very talented."

He shrugged again and was about to say something when Buffy suddenly said, "I can't believe this is happening," her voice was barely above a whisper and sounded dangerous. "Did you come to make small talk about pictures? Your friend did this. She did it to kill Angel. I was there too."

"I know," Joyce said desperately, tears welling up in her eyes. "Honey, I was such an idiot. When Miss Lockley came I was still so angry about your breakup with Riley and ... don't you understand, I care about you. I only wanted you to be safe."

"But for whose sake? Mine or yours?"

"I earned that I know," her mother nodded. "And you're right. I was so afraid something could happen to you. Probably it was more for my sake. To imagine you being in danger each night, it almost drove me crazy. You've never been a mother, but ...," she paused for a moment. "But I was wrong. I was deeply wrong and I hurt you. But you have to believe, I never thought she would try to kill Angel."

Giles came back and placed steaming mugs in front of everyone. Then he sat down beside Joyce, but didn't say anything.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Buffy said after a while. "Angel?" She looked at her boyfriend.

"Mrs. Summers..."

"Joyce," she interrupted him smiling.

"Joyce," he smiled back, "I understand that you tried to do what's best for your daughter. It's not as if I would've chosen a vampire as my little daughter's boyfriend." He had to laugh, "I would have probably killed him and then locked her away for weeks." He had to grin when he saw Buffy staring at him. "It's true," he told her. "I'm a very protective type. So personally I've no problem with this. Obviously you've seen your fault." He wrapped his arms around Buffy's waist from behind, "You daughter will not understand it, but I don't even blame Kate. She cannot cope with the death of her father. She needs our pity and help."

"You're the most amazing person I've ever met," Joyce said in awe. "How can you be so forgiving?"

He smiled, "I'm in no position to judge people," he simply said.

"You didn't do anything," Buffy insisted firmly. She took his hand and kissed it while her eyes were on her mother. "But it's over now."

Joyce looked confused, "Over now? What do you mean?"

"Don't you know?," Giles asked with wide eyes.

"Know what?," she asked.

"Angel's no vampire anymore. He's human. He got his redemption," Buffy informed her mother. "And I was released from my slayer duties. No supernatural strength anymore, no nightly fighting, just a normal couple."

"What?," Mrs. Summers could hardly believe it and then suddenly she laughed. Seeing the confused looks of the other's she said, "I came to say that I was okay with you being the slayer and your vampire boyfriend and now everything's changed." She shook her head. "Sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. But ... I think it's my nerves."

"Mom," Buffy shook her head as well and couldn't help but smile. Somehow suddenly the last days seemed unreal and the future was looking bright and happy *and* Angel's words about forgiving were in her head. She knew she couldn't bring herself to hate her mother, especially when it seemed as if Joyce was really sorry.

"Buffy. I just want you to be happy. If Angel's the one to make you happy so be it. I love you honey and I want to be a part of your life. I think you've already lost one parent. Well, not really lost, but you know." She smiled and looked at Giles, "Although I think you've got quite a good substitute. Rupert. I blamed you once because you were more a part of my daughter's life than I was. I had to learn that one had to earn that right. I will never forget about it again."

"Oh mom," her daughter had tears in her eyes and reached out to her mother, who took her hand and squeezed it tightly.

"I promise I will work to be a much better mother for you. And Angel. Welcome to our family," she smiled at the ex-vampire and then winked, "Because the way I see it, it won't be long and we'll hear wedding-bells."

"Mom," Buffy groaned.

"I have to do this," her mother joked, "I'm your mom. Mothers want to see their daughters happily married."

"Oh no!," the ex-slayer groaned again and sank back against her boyfriend's chest. "I'm not sure if I really prefer this new mother of mine."

Epilogue

True to Joyce's words they were married exactly half a year later. If it had been for Buffy it would've been much earlier, but Angel insisted on a big wedding in a church with flowers, bridesmaids and everything. After all, so he said, it was the only wedding she'd ever attend as a bride and it should be one to remember. There was no argument she had against it.

Angel closed his business in L.A. because without the super-powers there was no reason to keep it. With Joyce's encouragement he began to paint and draw and with the years he became a well-known artist.

Cordelia now out of a job tried to become and actress again, but failed miserably. In true Chase-fashion she didn't give up but set her eyes on the fashion business. She started to create dresses. After some years Buffy joined the company and together they became famous designers. The former may-queen fell in love with one of her male models some years later and married him.

Willow and Tara split up after some years. They realised their match wasn't meant to last forever, but they stayed friends. Only months later Anya got her powers back and left Xander. After comforting each other for their losses the childhood-friends re-discovered their mutual attraction and to everybodys surprise announced their engagement when Buffy's and Angel's first daughter was baptised.

Another surprise was the fact that Riley Finn stayed in Sunnydale. Somehow everyone had expected him to leave all behind him, but he didn't. He continued to work with the Initiative for a while, but then quit there. Over the years he and the resident slayer, who happened to be Faith for a couple of years, became close friends and one night after fighting a really nasty demon they ended up as lovers. They never married, Faith just wasn't made for a life-long commitment, but had a long lasting relationship.

Rupert Giles didn't marry Joyce Summers, but they became close friends and spent more than one evening together. Joyce quickly found out he had lots of stories to tell and she'd always liked listening to them. And now, knowing that her daughter wasn't in the "business" anymore she began to enjoy them.

As for Spike. Well, he travelled the world trying to find someone to remove his chip, but didn't find anyone. After this he came back to Sunnydale and met Wesley Wyndon-Price, who had failed at his second attempt as a Rogue Demon Hunter. They decided to re-open Angel's former business. This way Spike could kick some demon butt and Wesley used his watcher-training. None of the other's believed it would last long but they were wrong. Watcher and vampire worked perfectly together for a long time.

For once everyone seemed happy in this universe.

Alright, so that's it. I know the last sentence sucks, but then it was meant as a birthday present and fluff and happiness were needed desperately. Hope you enjoyed it. Please, please, please tell me what you thought!!!

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